this-picture-burns-the-heart-out-of-me!

It was the fall we lost our cat, then soon after
lost the house. The fall of three jobs and cold bus stops.
A whole year spent in the food stamp waiting room.
The year of dog bite, bad fever, bill collectors.
the winter we had no heat but each others bodies.
Coincidentally; the winter of cold bodies.
The year of playing house,  fucking in the kitchen
and calling it freedom. The year we had nothing,
but it was our nothing, and we earned it.
The spring you burned yourself on the stove
and left a scar that long outlasted me.
The spring you lied about the rent check, and the good job,
and the girl who always looks at your mouth funny.
The year you said my heart was a black and swollen thing.
The summer that you moved out while I was at work
and I came home to find your key on the counter,
and half the closet empty, and all the pictures of us
still up on the fridge. The summer I called you
again, and again, and when you finally picked up
I said I" love you" when I meant something
much more specific: I should have said,
“Please don’t leave me, I’m afraid to sleep alone.
I told you I wanted my childhood back so you took me to a playground in the middle of the night to smoke cigarettes until my throat got sore and I told you all I wanted to do was sleep without nightmares so you got me so drunk I passed out and slept through the night in your bed and woke up naked with no idea why and I told you I was feeling numb so you clutched your hand between my ribs, stole my heart, shattered everything single one of them, planted butterflies in my stomach that ate me from the inside out and burned your picture on the inside of my eyelids and I told you I was thirsty so you spit poison down
my throat and I told you I was hungry so you gave me pills that only costed my dignity and I told you I was worried sick about a paper I had to do about any topic that I wanted so you took me out into the night and showed me the darkest spots and taught me the constellations in your eyes and the poetry in your heart and told me to
write about love and we watched the sunrise and I never made it home in time to write anything even though I knew it now and I told you I was tired of washing blood from the inside of my shorts and pants so you bought me a sleeveless dress that I never got to wear because we never made it to the summer and now it’s just a sick reminder of how I thought you were saving me but the truth is I was lost in darkness and you were the light at the end of the tunnel but maybe there were better exits that didn’t flick and drowned me in black, lost hopes and sadness. now the only light is from the tip of my cigarette and the beautiful dress I set on fire.
—  I thought you were saving me // I should be better now
💔Bury my heart💔

Alright so, my boyfriend broke up with me not too long ago and I’ve been thinking way too much about someone I can’t have, so I made this simple spell to sort of bury my feelings for now.

You’ll need:

•a small jar
•dirt
•paper and pen
•candle of choice (i used red)
•something with a heart on it (picture, pendant, etc.)
•lighter/matches
•fire proof bowl

1. Light the candle and as it’s burning, write a letter, releasing everything you feel for that person. It can be angry, sad, whatever just make sure you get everything out that you want to say. Make sure you write their name as well.

2. Take the heart and put your initials on it.

3. Place the paper in the bowl and light it up (I found it easier to tear it apart first). As it burns, visualize yourself moving on from those feelings and healing yourself.

4. Once the letter is nothing but ash, take the dirt and mix it together with the ashes. Fill the jar halfway with the diet mixture and make a little hole to bury the heart. Fill the rest of the jar with more dirt, making sure the heart is covered.

5. Close the jar tightly and take the candle, pouring the melted wax over the top of the jar.

6. Keep the jar in a dark place, hidden from view. You can put a sigil on the jar is you’d like to help keep it hidden and out of your mind for a while. If you want to say a chant go ahead. Mine went like this

“ My feelings will remain buried, undisturbed and secret. There is no jealousy. I have buried it away and moved on. May no harm come to anyone and let happiness come forth.”

7. Afterwards, do something that makes you happy. Read your favourite book, listen to music, or watch a movie and munch on snacks! Hell, take a bath to cleanse yourself if you still feel a little icky.

This helped me a lot earlier as I was doing this. I’ve loved this person for several years but after doing the spell, I feel a bit lighter, like I can finally move forward with my life.

THIS SPELL IS NOT MEANT TO BE USED AS A CURSE

without you
  • aries: you're so dope, your love is deadly.
  • taurus: pretty cameras, pretty cameras, am i glamorous, tell me am i glamorous?
  • gemini: all my dreams and all the lights mean nothing without you.
  • cancer: tell me life is beautiful, they all think i have it all.
  • leo: gold and silver line my heart, but burned into my brain are these stolen images.
  • virgo: when we grew up, nothing was what it seemed.
  • libra: i can be your china doll, if you wanna see me fall.
  • scorpio: i even think i found god, in the flash bulbs of the pretty cameras.
  • sagittarius: summertime is nice and hot, and my life is sweet like vanilla is.
  • capricorn: can you picture it, babe, the life we would've lived?
  • aquarius: we were two kids just trying to get out, lived on the dark side of the american dream.
  • pisces: everything i want, i have.

i’ve got 99 problems but you’re not one

[LISTEN]

forget you - cee lo green// part of me - katy perry// mis movin’ on-fifth harmony// picture to burn - taylor swift// r u crazy - connor maynard// goodbye song - mkto// potential breakup song - ally & aj// young and single - jackson guthy// don’t - ed sheeran// lips are movin - meghan trainor// kiss n tell - kesha// gives you hell - the all american rejects// boy - little mix// cowboy casonova - carrie underwood// i just laugh - nevershoutnever// rumor has it - adele// how to be a heartbreaker - marina and the diamonds// cry your heart out - olly murs// buletproof - la roux// really don’t care - demi lovato// riding solo - jason derulo// roar - katy perry// so what/i kissed a girl (dj darkz mashup) - p!nk/katy perry// bye bye bye - n*sync// fuck love - iggy azalea//

3

Taylor, your lyrics mean so much to me. With every album you’ve made since I was twelve your songs have related to my life. When I was feeling depressed at a young age I felt i was tied together with a smile but coming undone. When my first boyfriend dumped me I realized he was with someone else and he should’ve said no… BUT JUST ANOTHER PICTURE TO BURN. I was fourteen when I heard fifteen and it meant so much to me then - but i’ve learned so much growing up that fifteen means so much more to me now. When you released speak now i was being bullied and threatened. You taught me to stand up for myself and speak up. I did that and i am so proud that I did. I was in grade twelve when RED came out. I will never forget listening to that amazing record Taylor. The songs really touched my heart. As slopes were treacherous but I liked it. Stay stay stay, state of grace, and starlight related a lot to my relationship. It’s the worthwhile fight, he stayed, and i shouldn’t be singing the blues. Begin again has also meant a lot to me. The meaning has changed over the years, but now. When i hear the “I watched it begin again” The it doesn’t refer to a relationship or love. It relates to my life and it beginning again. I felt I really started to live once you released 1989 and even so I relate your old songs to now. After listening to 1989 I listened to all your older songs and how they meant to me when i was younger has completely changed. I love listening to begin again because i feel that my life is wonderful now. Thank you so much for all your albums Taylor. You have always taught me so much. And as 1989 came out this past year, you have taught me even more. The best people in life are free. I can live my life on my terms. I can be happy and I don’t need someone else to create my own happiness. I create my life. I create anything. I love you so much Taylor. Thank you so so much for sharing all your knowledge and love over the years. I am so grateful <3 taylorswift

10

Some miscellaneous cosplays throughout the weekend I absolutely loved~

I didn’t take many pictures this year mainly due to the fact I couldn’t even see if the pictures were coming out in focus or not, but I’m glad these ones at least turned out okay~

Please let me know if you want me to tag you in this if you see your cosplay!

Tulio - fangasmicfandoms

Situ - ghostlycorvid

Baymax’s creator - creme13rulee

You kissed me like I was made of fire,
Lips careful not to linger too long because we both know you were scared of being burnt.
Your cold fingertips resided on the soft spots of my skin, the places you knew you could keep yourself safe.
I knew from the day we met you were made of ice, skin paler than the blanket of snow you sleep under. I tried to picture you as something more than frozen water.
You were too coward to let yourself be melted by my heat, too coward to risk the burning of my heart. Too coward, to allow yourself to love a girl on fire.
I would have set your lips a blaze, watched you run down my neck like a waterfall.
Each droplet of you would extinguish me.

You were the only boy capable of putting me out.

—  I guess I should have known better than to allow myself to love a boy made of ice.
2

“Taylor, your lyrics mean so much to me. With every album you’ve made since I was twelve your songs have related to my life. When I was feeling depressed at a young age I felt i was tied together with a smile but coming undone. When my first boyfriend dumped me I realized he was with someone else and he should’ve said no… BUT JUST ANOTHER PICTURE TO BURN. I was fourteen when I heard fifteen and it meant so much to me then - but i’ve learned so much growing up that fifteen means so much more to me now. When you released speak now i was being bullied and threatened. You taught me to stand up for myself and speak up. I did that and i am so proud that I did. I was in grade twelve when RED came out. I will never forget listening to that amazing record Taylor. The songs really touched my heart. As slopes were treacherous but I liked it. Stay stay stay, state of grace, and starlight related a lot to my relationship. It’s the worthwhile fight, he stayed, and i shouldn’t be singing the blues. Begin again has also meant a lot to me. The meaning has changed over the years, but now. When i hear the “I watched it begin again” The it doesn’t refer to a relationship or love. It relates to my life and it beginning again. I felt I really started to live once you released 1989 and even so I relate your old songs to now. After listening to 1989 I listened to all your older songs and how they meant to me when i was younger has completely changed. I love listening to begin again because i feel that my life is wonderful now. Thank you so much for all your albums Taylor. You have always taught me so much. And as 1989 came out this past year, you have taught me even more. The best people in life are free. I can live my life on my terms. I can be happy and I don’t need someone else to create my own happiness. I create my life. I create anything. I love you so much Taylor. Thank you so so much for sharing all your knowledge and love over the years. I am so grateful <3″ taylorswift

love michelle <3<3

Drabble #5

Originally posted by parkjaebums



Shattered pieces of green porcelain laid scattered across the off-white tiles of the living room floor. Cold coffee wet your bare feet; threatened to stain your couch, where it had splashed as your frog shaped mug slipped out of your hand. Your eyes bulged out of your head, practically burning holes into the screen of your iPhone. Detailed wings wrapped around the curve of his head in the picture. Which he’d posted only minutes ago, captioned “I know angels are watching over me…” followed by too many hashtags and emojis. Wind blowing in from the cracked apartment window made your eyes water but that was certainly not the only reason you felt like crying. I’m going to murder him.  

The rapid pounding of your heart against your ribcage finally, finally, startled you out of your state of shock. Tapping your thumb against the screen of your phone to keep it from going black, you stared at the picture for a beat longer. It would be hypocritical to deny that the artist had done a fantastic job with the piece because he had. The detail on the wings was astounding. The contrast between black and white made the piece come to life. Had it been permanently inked onto any other part of his body you wouldn’t have minded. However, your mind could not admire the piece while your brain was in utter chaos at the fact that a needle had been stabbing into your fiance’s head. He wouldn’t be home until late and you could not just pop into AOMG to bitch at him. Despite being beyond pissed you were classy.

You waited up for him, sitting on the very same, very stained, couch you had not left in hours. The lights turned off around the entire apartment, you sat staring straight ahead like some godfather, serial killer motherfucker waiting for her next victim. By now, you knew, Jay would be very well on his way home. He made it a habit to be home no later than 2:00 a.m. Since you had not liked his picture nor called to yell at him you were sure he had no idea the shit storm that was waiting for him.

As the lock clicked, your tired eyes snapped in the general direction of the door suddenly ten times more awake. You heard Jay struggle to pull off his shoes. He stumbled into the living room after a minute. You could make out the shape of the duffel bag he took to work every day packed full of clothes and snacks. Like a mom waiting to scold her rebellious son, you turned on the lamp beside the couch. He stopped, wide eyes flicking toward the couch. He looked like a “deer caught in headlights,” almost innocent.

 “Jaebeom Park,” you said, not bothering to mask your anger. You could tell the exact moment that it clicked that something was wrong. Besides the fact that you never used his legal name, you hardly ever waited up for him. Dropping the duffel bag he cautiously made his way over to you. His footsteps were light, barely audible, an effect of years of sneaking into your bedroom trying hard not to wake you up.

“Ah yes, honey?” he said, eyes downcast. Jay never called you honey, ever. He hated the word more than he hated leaving your bed early in the morning. You scoffed, picking up a mug of tea, which had long gone cold, from the table in front of the couch. You brought the mug to your lips, eyes staring straight into Jay’s with the most intimidating glare you could muster.

“Do you want to tell me what you did today? or am I going to have to do the crazy Hispanic girlfriend thing and pull out printed copies of what I know you did today?” he inhaled sharply. His eyes flicked to the door, gauging the distance and no doubt how fast he could make it out the door and to Simon’s. He let out a sigh.

“Baby, I was going to call you about it, I swear. I just didn’t have time”

“You didn’t have time to call but you had time to get your fucking head tattooed?”

You didn’t mind Jay’s tattoos, at all. In fact, his tattoos were your biggest turn on but even you had limits. He sat on the couch a few inches away from you, no doubt afraid that coming any closer would earn him a good slap across his beautiful face.

“Sleeping on the couch today?” he said, accepting his fate.

 “Try sleeping on the couch this week.”

- Admin Jen

Jay’s new tattoo, though. What were your reactions? Honestly, at first, I was like “Jay no” *cue laughter and facepalm*. But I can’t say I was surprised. I mean I question why he didn’t get it on his legs or something because he definitely has space. At the end of the day, it was his decision to make and honestly his artist did an amazing job. Personally, I don’t mind it. I actually think it looks really good; I’m kind of curious about how it will look when his hair grows back. 

This drabble came to mind because I was wondering how his significant other would react. Enjoy!

shinydiamondblg  asked:

*reaches into my scarf & takes out a heart locket* Faris, I want to trust you, & I want you to trust me. You don't have to trust everyone. No one is perfect. I want you to have this. *hands it to Faris* It's really special to me. The picture inside is my grandfather. He's gone now. If I ever do anything to lose your trust, you can do what you will with that. You can throw it, burn it, chew it, hell, you can even kill me if it'll satisfy you. You're one of many I cherish, & I'm glad I met you.

*Faris looks down at the locket in his hand. There is a long pause as he checks the picture inside, then he lets out a long sigh and clasps the locket shut, pulling his hand away from himself* “I can’t bring myself to damage memorabilia like this. You go on and keep it.”

I’m no stranger to heartbreak so don’t take it harshly when I hold the door open for you as you leave. Take a deep breath, wipe away that one single tear, and sigh. I’ll rip up our pictures, burn the letters you wrote me, I might keep a few of your hoodies though. I may type you a few texts and then delete them, drown out my momentary feelings with a glass of red wine, take a hot bath. I’m no stranger to heartbreak so don’t take it personally when you see that I’m doing just fine without you.

- N. Nair, you’re not the first to break my heart.

Tuesday Nov 29 2016 12:06AM

I feel dark.
I feel sad
I feel empty, but also very emotional.
My sleep medications, a combination of sedatives,anti-anxiety and off the shelf sleep brand cold medicine seems to have no effect some nights like tonight. The air seems quiet even with the white noise of a fan,cars driving by,my roommates entertaining just beyond a few walls. And I feel an ache burning inside me. As if I’ve put out my cigarette inside creating circles of blisters.
It Makes sense I guess, the demons usually come at night. It makes sense to attack someone at their most vulnerable moments. It’s only logical.
Suddenly aware of my breathing. My heart pumping inside the cage I have as a body.
They whisper teasing thoughts in my ears whilst muffling a scream I cannot let out as if they have sewn my mouth shut with tight rope I cannot cut off of me.
They send pictures and memories to flood my eyes and mind. They deliver Intense feelings and pain and they like it when I cry. They enjoy ripping me apart until I am once again in the emergency room. Numb and disconnected. They take pleasure in slithering through my brain and altering any connections they like such as putting the high drive of desire to feed addictions and give in to the unhealthy thoughts and behaviors. The intrusive thoughts as heavy as a collapsed mine. You can move some out of the way but more will collapse down into the same space. Sometimes they arrive in not only sheep’s wool but the cut up skin as an extra mask. They try their best to deceive me but I know they’re still the voracious wolf hunting me as weak prey.
Knowing something is one thing but it doesn’t mean but having the knowledge does not make me incapable of being bitten.

anonymous asked:

It's 9:03, I had a goodnight sleep but woke up to sadness. My ex burned all our pictures and said terrible things. She's the one who broke my heart? She said I was the problem, and that she had only been with me out of pity.. I'm feeling pretty low down. I'm in a college town with no friends or family. She was practically my only friend. I feel so alone. How do you make friends in a town you don't know anything about?

Are you in a college town because you’re going to college? If so, try to meet people in your classes or around campus!! Other than that, you could look for different activities in the town - check online, message boards at coffee shops or community centres, the local paper! Get yourself out there and put yourself in places where you’re likely to meet people with similar interests :)