Thank You For Everything Taylor...
I just want to say how much I appreciate you @taylorswift and how your music and the encouraging things you say have helped me through some extremely hard times, and there during the good too, these last 10 years, your songs have kind of been like a soundtrack to my life.
Your debut album came out exactly one week after I finely got away from a really bad, abusive, relationship. Those songs like Picture to Burn gave me reason to laugh. Cold as You and Should’ve Said No spoke what my heart wanted say when I couldn’t find the words.
And when Fearless was released, I loved Change and got see you perform it at the Fearless tour in 2009. Then I met my now husband, and when Begin Again and Everything Has Changed were released, they really spoke what I felt when we met.
But then things got really rough again. I kept getting sick and was in terrible pain and so fatigued, at the end of 2012 I was finely diagnosed with an autoimmune disease and started treatment. Then found out my mom had cancer, and I helped her through multiple surgeries and tried to be there for her as much as I could, thankfully she’s been cancer free for a while now. I had also been in 3 car accidents in a matter of 5 years, non of which were my fault, the final one in 2013 was a semi truck on the highway. Still not sure how I made it out without being hurt worse, but it caused emotional scars, I was diagnosed with PTSD (which actually started with the bad relationship) and depression. Then my husband got hurt and couldn’t work for two years, I had to help him while trying to work and struggle with my illness. With all that combined with my accident injuries, its been really hard.
Several times I just wanted to give up, I had been to several doctors, counselors and through multiple treatments that failed, and was still in so much pain, and having flashbacks. But then I heard Clean and I cried (I’m crying now writing this), it really spoke to me. Then I was able to actually see you live at the 1989 tour in St. Louis and hear the Clean speech. It literally changed everything for me, it was actually like I had been drowning and someone pulled me out of the water, I could finely Breathe, and felt Clean for the first time in ages.
I still struggle with pain all the time, I have to take a hand full of pills every day and give myself shots. But the PTSD and depression are much better, I’ve not had flashbacks in a long time and I’ve been able to let go of the hurt and self blame from my past relationship. I’ve accepted I can’t change some of those things, and instead focus on what I CAN change. And I’m doing things now I always wanted to do, but never thought I would, like playing guitar and piano, and learning to love myself for who I am. And being a Swiftie has brought me closer to my sister and I’ve met some really wonderful people. So thank you so much Taylor, it means the world to me. ♥♥♥