The Joker X Reader “Best Friends”

Mister J doesn’t understand the concept of having a guy-best-friend. He always gives you and Frost such a hard time. Dammit, this man needs to learn when to back out!Who are you kidding? He’s a lost cause… 

**** You were horsing around the penthouse with Frost, fighting with the Joker’s canes. You had his favorite purple one and Jonny the black one. You were trying to kick Frost, he ducked and you hit the wall so hard the cane snapped in two.

“Oh, crap!” you gasp, assessing the damage in disbelief.

“That’s not good,” Jonny sighs. “Want me to take the blame?”

“No, no way, it’s my fault.”

He took the blame. Mister J is pissed to the maximum.

“I’m so sorry, boss; I tripped and felt right on top of it.”

“Lose some weight, God dammit, you know that’s my favorite cane. Now I have to wait until my new one arrives. How am I supposed to look like a pimp without it?” J snarls at him, but he knows something is up.

“You don’t need the cane, baby” you smile, keeping your cool. “You always look like the hottest pimp around.”

“For reals? Hmmm… if you say so…” the Joker buys your flattery and you think Frosty is safe.  NOT!!!

At the club, Frost was getting ready to go downstairs and J tripped him. Man, that was a pretty nasty tumble! You let out a small scream and rush after him.

“Oh my God, Jonny, are you ok?” you try to help him up, worried to death. “J, did you push him?”

“Wha’????? Why would I do that?! I’m not that low,” the Joker defends himself but you have your concerns.

“Frost, did he push you?” you ask, annoyed.

“No, no, of course not,” he lies, knowing it’s better not to start any shit.

“See? I told you, he’s just clumsy, he falls down and…breaks things.” The evil glare in J’s eye makes you squint your eyes, suspicious.

**** Since J is not going to be home anytime soon, you get together with Frost for drinks, karaoke and movies. After you’re both very drunk, you really sound like goats jumping from a cliff, but you think you’re the best singers. You decide to watch something sad, you don’t really know what, but sure as hell you are both on the couch now, sobbing, heartbroken. Your head is resting on Frost’s shoulder and you sniffle, blowing your nose in your tissue again.

The Joker walks in and sees you both and he doesn’t like the fact that you are sitting so close to each other.

“What are you guys doing now?” he mutters, marching in front of the couch.

“This is so sad, Jaaayy,” you cry and Frost reaches his hand to wipe your eyes with his tissue.

“Don’t touch my girl!” the Joker grumbles and he punches Frost unconscious.

“Omg, Jaaaayy, you killed my best friend!” You start wailing, clenching to Frost’s chest.

“He’s not dead, let go!” J tries to take you away. You don’t bulge.

“Jonnnnyyyyy, I’m gonna take care of your kids,” you whimper even louder.

“He doesn’t have any kids, let him go I said! Jeez, how much did you drink, Princess?!”

“Jonnnnnyyy, I’m gonna take care of your wifeeee,” you’re bawling your eyes out.

“He doesn’t have a wife!”

“I don’t care, I’m gonna take care of all of them anywayyy.” You are so upset you won’t move.

“Fine, I’ll prove you he’s all right!” J walks over to the kitchen, irritated, grabs a bowl of water with ice and comes back just to throw it Frost’s face to wake him up. Frost opens his eyes, kind of jumping from the shock of the cold feeling. You kiss his cheek, then cuddle on his chest.

“Frosty, you’re alive!”

“I said don’t touch my girl!” the Joker snaps, punching his lights out again.

Poor Frost had to walk around with two black eyes for three weeks.
 **** Mister J will get revenge for that night. Frost has a date tonight and you are helping him with his tie.

J is glaring at you too, tapping his fingers on the glass coffee table.

“Can’t you dress yourself, Frost?” he asks, grinning, impatient it’s taking so long.

“Almost done, sir.”

“There” you back out a bit, satisfied. “I hope you never leave us, I don’t know what we’d do without you.”

You hear your boyfriend snarl and you continue:

“…and without J we would be completely lost,” you quickly add, winking at Jonny.

Before Frost leaves, J is trying to give him tips on how to behave on a date and some pickup lines. You roll your eyes, scoffing and when J leaves the room to answer an important call, you whisper to Frost:

“Don’t listen to him, he’s clueless to this kind of stuff. I’m with him for his looks, not for the wisdom he blesses us with every day.” Jonny snickers, amused.

“What are you guys talking about?” J inquires, coming back in the room holding a glass half full with whiskey.

“His girlfriend, she’s adorable,” you innocently smile. “A sweetheart, I’m telling you.”

“Hmm, oh well, old man, here’s some liquid courage for tonight.” The Joker gives the glass to Jonny and he drinks it all. He put sleeping pills in the whiskey. Needless to say Frosty didn’t make it to his date and you didn’t talk to J for days.

****  “Jonny, remember when we were kids and used to play hide and seek? Gosh, I miss those days. Hey, let’s play!” you clap your hands in anticipation.

“We’re grown ass people, Y/N,” he furrows is eyebrows, not in the mood.

“ So?! Stop being so serious. Come on, it will be fun, pleaseeee?” you beg, pulling his arm.

“Ok, but just one round, you hide and I’ll try to find you.”

“Yes!!! Awesome!” you jump up and down, excited. It’s late at night and J is not home yet so you gotta kill the boredom somehow. “Ok, turn the lights out, give me 1 minute and then come look for me,” you giggle, already knowing you will hide behind the curtain. You stay quiet, hearing noises around the penthouse. You feel like a child again, you missed the thrill of this silly game.

Suddenly, you feel hands grabbing your butt as you are turned around and you feel your lips being kissed. You panic:

“Jonny, what the hell???!!!” you yell and throw your fist in his face as hard as you can.

“Huhhh?”you hear Frost from across the room as he turns on the lights.

“Auchhh, are you crazy?!”
Oh, crap, it’s The Joker. With a bloody nose. Looking unhappy. Very unhappy.

“Baby, I’m so sorry,” you cover your mouth, scared. “I didn’t know it’s you. Why did you sneak in like that? I’ll bring you some ice, hold on.”

“God, you have a mean punch, Pumpkin!” he snorts on his blood, holding the bridge of his nose, angry at you.

“Occupational hazard, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to,” you keep on apologizing, feeling really bad about it. You didn’t have time to notice Frost widely smiling at his boss’s misfortune. Karma is a bitch.

**** You are out Christmas shopping with Frost for J . You have no idea he’s following you two. He keeps on creeping out from behind corners, with a hoodie on and jeans, totally incognito, watching you two like a hawk.

“Why is she holding his arm? Why are they laughing? Why is he touching my girl again?” J keeps on thinking, irritated. He sees some kids playing in the snow.

“Hey, you there,” he gets their attention, “wanna make a hundred dollars?”

* You suddenly get bombarded with a million snow balls, there are a bunch of children screaming and yelling, hitting you two from all sides, then they run.

“Wow, what was that?” you say, cleaning yourself up. And you hear it just for a split second, but you sure know that laugh.

“It’s that idiot!” you mutter through your clenched teeth, aggravated.

“Who, Mister J ?”

“That’s what I said, Frosty, pay attention,” you inhale, dragging him inside the little restaurant on your left. ”Come on, let’s get on the terrace! Hurry up!”

There is nobody on top with the cold weather and snow, of course. You duck behind the wall, watching the street.

“There he is!” you point at the Joker approaching the building, recognizing him.

“When he gets right under, we push all this snow on him, ok?” you elbow Frost, making sure he’s going to follow the plan.

“Are you insane? He’s going to kill us.”

“Bullshit, he won’t know it was us. I won’t tell if you don’t,” you bite your lips, waiting for an answer.

“Ok, let’s do it!” Jonny softly chuckles, grateful he can get a bit more payback to his boss for all the crap he has to endure.

“Wait for my signal,” you peak again and…”Now, now!!!’ you both push the huge chunks of frozen snow and you hear a loud thud then J cussing and having a temper tantrum. You both laugh like crazy, covering your mouths and you slowly get up and run, taking the stares to the south side of the restaurant.

**** You are in front of the fireplace, listening to a song with Jonny on your mp4. He has one earbud and you have the other.

“Wow, awesome song, Y/N,” Frost nods his head as a thank you for sharing.

Oh, hell no! The Joker thinks when he sees you two. He walks behind you and smashes your heads together as hard as he can.

“Auucch, wtf, baby?! It really hurts!” you whimper, rubbing the painful spot.

“Whoops, my hands slipped,” J grins, closing his eyes to take in the moment, feeling like he accomplished something good for the day.  Jonny doesn’t say anything; he is trying to be as stoic as ever. He just cautiously gets up and leaves.
*You and Frost got nasty matching red bumps and J is very pleased to call you:

“My little horn-y devils.”

**** You and Frost are waiting outside for the Joker so you can go to the club.

“Gosh, it’s so cold,” you shiver under your thin coat.

“Here, Y/N,” Frost offers you his coat, placing it around your shoulders.

“Thank you, you’re so sweet… Hey, J, what are you doing?”

Mister J yanks Frost’s coat and throws it on a muddy puddle that didn’t freeze yet.

“Baby, what are you doing?!”

“You don’t need his coat, I’ll give you mine, “ J pouts, puckering his lips while placing his purple coat around you.
That was so uncalled for; he really needs to knock this shit out.

The car is parked half a block away so you bend your knees more to make sure the bottom of his precious croc coat gets dragged in all the puddles and slit you can walk in.

He has a fit when you give it back to him but you  candidly point out he gave it to you and it’s not your fault you’re shorter than him.

**** “How in the world did my Lamborghini got a flat tire? Are you kidding me right now?” J gasps, kicking the sidewalk exasperated. ”Get someone to fix it!” he shrieks at Frost.

Yeah, I wonder how it happened…

Frost gives you an inquiring glance and you wink at him, letting him know you got his back.  

What are best friends good for anyway?

Also read- MASTERLIST:

Much love to the people who are fans of both Sherlock and Elementary, and recognize both shows are unique interpretations of what a modern day Sherlock Holmes would be like, both shows have kick-ass casts, both shows have flaws and strengths, and you don’t have to choose one or the other. 

Bonus props if you also appreciate the classics, so you understand the awesomeness that these two shows came from.

Even more props if you love the insanity that is “Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century.” Because that’s just an awesome cartoon.

  • Jonny: Do you want to know how I actually hurt my wrist?
  • Shawzy: Yes!
  • Jonny: I was hula hooping. Patrick and I attend a class both for fitness and for fun.
  • Shawzy: Oh my God...
  • Jonny: I mastered all the moves. The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie doodle.
  • Shawzy: Why are you telling me this?
  • Jonny: Because no one will ever believe you.
  • Shawzy: You sick son of a bitch!

Jonny tapped Wilson on the shoulder and handed him a small drawing. “F made this to tell you where you can and can’t go in the lab. The ones with green mean you can, the ones with red mean that F doesn’t want you there, and the ones with both mean you can go there, but only if necessary.” Jonny seemed indifferent to the situation, as he felt that if Wilson was going to be staying here, he might as well know about some of the stuff that happens. But oh well. Jonny wasn’t willing to argue with Fürchten at the moment. ( @science-takes-care-of-me )


Jonathan Toews receives his Order of Manitoba, August 2015 (x)

for @starafar, who also kindly provided me with the video!

In my opinion, everyone should watch Elementary

 Why you say?????

Sherlock is played by Jonny Lee Miller (who is quite adorable and a better sherlock than Ben. C in my opinion)

AND the wonderful Lucy Liu plays Dr. Watson

Not only does it has a kick ass female role in it, it has a main character of color! Jon Micheal Hill as Detective Bell who is freaking hilarious in this.



Andddd theres more than 2 seasons with 20+ episodes in each!



Jonny you idiot, this is one of the many reasons why I love you and this stupid team.

Jonny noticed it rookie year. Not to brag - it wasn’t exactly hard to miss. It had been a bad afternoon game, a shutout, and Kaner was already dragging his feet before they left the Excel Center. It was raining, too dark for dusk, and the air was tepid and thick. Jonny shivered despite the warm air, not bothering to shield himself from the droplets as he trudged sluggishly to the bus.

Kaner plopped down heavily in the seat next to him and his wet jacket soaked Jonny’s sweatshirt instantly. Jonny turned to glare at him - he was not in the mood for this kind of roughhousing - but stopped instantly when he caught the look on Patrick’s face.

“Gonna thunderstorm tonight,” Pat said lightly. His knee was bouncing erratically and Jonny had an irresistible urge to put his hand there to still him.

“S’posed to be big,” was all that Jonny managed to say in return. Patrick’s leg bounced faster.

In their hotel room, Patrick was fully clothed and shivering, hugging a pillow as he clearly pretended to watch Castaway on their criminally small television. Jonny couldn’t stop side-eyeing him, couldn’t stop wondering where the jitters were coming from.

But then the rain grew heavy and Patrick’s fists clenched into the pillow he was hugging to his chest. And then lightning lit up their room, casting shadows across Pat’s sunken, closed eyes, and Jonny started to understand.

It became clear when the thunder rumbled and Patrick was halfway out of his bed before the echoes even stopped. He got tangled in his sheets and attempted ungracefully to not trip and fall on his face. Jonny gave him a scrutinizing look.

“Are you scared of thunder?”

“What? What, no,” Kaner said, “no,” and then, “fuck you, no.” A pause, and then, “yeah, Jonny. Kind of.”

Wordlessly, Jonny scooted over in his bed and extended his arm, only to have Kaner fall against him and curl close, face pressed tight to Jonny’s collarbone. Another thunderclap shook the room and Jonny rubbed the pad of his thumb against Kaner’s shoulder.

“You’re gonna get the C someday, Tazer,” Patrick mumbled against Jonny’s shirt.

“Says who?” Jonny said, gently scratching his blunt nails along the base of Kaner’s neck. Patrick pushed himself up, eyes searching Jonny’s for a moment in the dim light of the hotel bedside lamp. The teasing smile fell from Jonny’s face as his hand stilled on Kaner’s skin.

“Says me,” said Kaner, all soft, highlighted by the lightning flashing outside the window. When the following thunder clapped, Jonny felt Patrick’s shudder against his lips.