this-movie-upsets-me-deeply

What would you do when you feel your life slipping away?

I’ve long long had a problem with how Arwen is portrayed in the Movies. Her character has little grounding, flung about by the men in her life even though this is somehow about her choice. ( it just gets worse in the EE. Unless you like Aragorn/Eowyn then it is cannon he is single and Arwen an ex by the time he meets her)

Recently I mentioned how I didn’t like how get character goes from “RAWR WARRIOR!!” to infantile/sick (??) By ROTK
A friend said “well what would you do if you could feel your life slipping away?”

It took sometime but I realized not only the answer but a reason that the movies take deeply upsets me.
I am chronically ill. I have several conditions that yes, I can feel my life draining away. I feel it every morning. In still moments, when I think to hard or the pain takes the air from my lungs. I will never get better.
I am Frodo with the forever unhealed morgul wound. The missing finger. The burden of the ring.
Every moment as he got closer to Mt Doom Frodo was in agony. He was chronically ill. But he and Sam his more able bodied friend pushed on until the end. Even after Frodo stayed in the shire to see his friends marry and have kids. Only when it was absolutely the last moment did he leave.

Frodo felt his life slipping away but he endured. He took his best friend for support, enlisted Faramir. He knew that tgere were things bigger than him.
I want to wake up everyday like Frodo or Sam. I feel it slipping but I press forward. Scrabble at rocks until I need carried.
There is a war out there. So much bigger than me.
I dont have time to be blown about by conflicting currents in my love life, to fear death or lay around looking pretty on a bed and mope.
Arwen made her choice. She knew there was a war greater then her, her lover, her father. It takes her 3 movies to finally think through her choice ( shouldn’t she have done that pre-fellowship? Rather rash for a wise 2k old being) and send some help ( the sword) but even then it is couched in her ~illness~ and helplessness by both Elrond and Aragorn.

What would I do if I felt my life slipping away? I would take elvish medicine, read up, study maps, get care packages and supply lines open to where the battles are. I’d insist on mass lembas baking to be sent to all humans fighting.
I would do what I have always done, what every other character and every other chronically ill person does.
I would fight.
Fight with whatever means I had.
No matter if my father or on/off boyfriend were hurdles.
I would fight because the world is bigger than me.

“You dont have to put a sword in her hand to make her string” is something Liv Tyler said.

No you don’t.
But you have to replace it with something else, like backbone, conviction, resourcefulness.
Or else you are fated to be blown about helpless by your father and lover. Stripped of agency.

Chronically ill people have agency. Power. Terminally ill people.
We have no swords but we have power. Even if it is just fighting the illness and supporting each other.

Arwen as a cipher for mortality and illness is a slap to my face as someone who is both.
I don’t want to lay and weep
Let me climb the volcano because the world is so much bigger and more important than me.