this-made-me-so-sad-that-i-had-to-memorialize-them

rymdmonster i accidentally published the ask before i was done so then i had to delete it lmao….ALSO my memories of everything are a bit fuzzy so idk how accurate this will be!

Favourite Male Character: I LIKE VIKTOR TBH…

Favourite Female Character: MINOO, my child

Least Favourite Character: um. i don’t rly dislike any of the main characters, ig my least faves would be the actual villains? idk i need to reread tbh

Favourite Ship: linessa ofc, but i also love minoo/rebecka :c cries

Favourite Friendship: ALL OF THEM

Favourite Quote: oh frick i rly need to reread, i have no idea?? im sorry i don’t remember any specific quotes!!!!

Worst Character Death (if any): REBECKA ;__; but also elias and ida ofc, i think rebecka + ida’s deaths shocked me the most :ccc

This made me so happy you have no idea Moment: linessa stuff in fire *u*

Saddest Moment: the deaths ofc. sad children ;_;

Favourite Location: hmm…the woods? maybe? i imagine them to look all cool and scary so…ya (ok this is another example of why i need to reread, im sorry im a terrible meme answer-er)

it really upsets me that everything went wrong at the end of that holiday. it was such a nice time and i have so many really amazing memories and even now i was looking through my bag and i found the receipt and business cards from tempo doeloe and it made me so sad and i wanted to cry.

i don’t get how everything gets so messed up. i dont get why things had to be so difficult between us. i wish i had never gone in that room and i hate myself for it but im so angry about it as well. i dont even know it was all just so stupid. it wasnt worth it in the slightest.

i try to open my photos and there’s so much that is difficult to look at and i dont know what to do with them. i want to just grab them all and take them away and put them in a buried folder somewhere completely out of the way. i dont even know what that is though, just taking them all and keeping them somewhere to never be seen so what are they then.

this is all very difficult.

taylorswift This GIRL 👆💞
You smile, I smile.. Taylor is my inspiration. She really, has made my life better. Not just today. But every day, for over the past 8 years. From her music , that can get me through those difficult times, happiness and heartbreak. Every song has had a special impact in my life at one time or another, when I needed it most or in my happiest memories. Even right now this VERY moment Ive been so sad cause of my grandma and I played her song and I was able to stop myself from crying. You don’t have to be perfect, to be inspiring, everyone makes mistakes. She even makes mistakes. But we all grow together and learn from them. And I can just go online and watch her inspirational, interviews. Or funny old videos, and that just mite be what I need to get on with my day. And feeling so connected with someone that way is so special, that mite not know you. But you know them, and thats enough. Because they make you strive to be a better person everyday. And can make you smile. Some days when you thought you couldn’t . And she can inspire millions of girls, all over the world to do the same. That is why i love Taylor. And she will always, be that girl. That i hold so very dear to my heart . Especially in lonely times right now, Where i haven’t any real friends in my state anymore. That is why I spend so much money on her albums. And go to all her shows, grammy museum twice, and make her fan sites. And spend hours making videos. So thank you Taylor, not just from me but girls and people alike everywhere. That love you , for being not Taylor, the Mega Super Star, but simply, Taylor. that girl that inspires us to chase our dreams, and fight for equality, since 2007. And is one of the kindest and prettiest girls on the inside and out, were a reflection of you. You will always be 1 in my heart. Even if the charts say different one day. (and i doubt they will but💞). My heart wont, and time or my age wont ever change anything, I still love you the same and stand by you forever and always…. Xoxo Lisa cherie

I started crying even harder that day because I knew I couldn’t expect you to be that way every time. that even maybe I wouldn’t see you after that. actually, I probably even thought to myself that it was best to not even be comfortable with you ever being that way. because you give good memories to me and then take them away. I was so sad because the person you met a long time ago that was trying to play you off as not a big deal would’ve loved that night so much and it sucked cause I felt not allowed to. it made me so sad. you have no idea. but I had to be realistic. I have been realistic because I have to be. there’s no other way with you. I still appreciate when you show me those emotions and I promise you it makes me adore you so much more but..I can’t allow it to make me react differently. so I just get sad about it. I miss how it was in the beginning. but this is now. and it gets very difficult to care about you as much as I do sometimes. but that’s just my problem. I wish I could cut it down a bit. sometimes I even think about what it would be like to remove myself out of it. but…like I said…I have to be realistic with myself. I just can’t. you’re the one thing I can’t give up. if I’ve ever wanted so bad, it’s not as bad as my desire to be there for you. and the thing that’s crazy about it that I just want you to really understand is that it’s not something I have to force myself to do. I just care about you and I’m willing to be there for you whenever. it’s not about if you deserve it, it’s not about me trying to get you to see me in that or this way. I just do care about you, I just am there for you. and that’s all there has been to it.

You.

Dear You,

I’m sorry things had to end up this way. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I do truly love you, trust. You picked me up when I was at my lowest and you made me happy when I was sad. I cried tears of joy and not tears of sadness because of you. You were my light in the darkest of tunnels. It’s hard to tell you these things so I decided to write them here instead. It wasn’t new to acknowledge that I still love that person. I’m sure you know what it feels like to still love someone and have them as your kryptonite. This post isn’t about him or me, though. It’s about us. I cherish every memory we made together. All the inside jokes and the experiences we shared. Don’t feel any less about yourself. Don’t think you did something bad. Don’t think that you weren’t good enough for me. You’re perfect, but someone else had my heart. It’s hard to say this because you’re a great person and a very good friend. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. Though I’ve done that already, I understand if you hate me or feel any type of negativity towards me. I lead you on, point blank. I was having fun knowing how you felt for me. It kills me inside to have done this to you. I regret making you feel the way you do, but THANK YOU for being my shoulder to cry on at the toughest times. Thank you for always being there and making sure I was satisfied with my feelings before yours. Thank you for always putting me first and taking care of me. I have a great appreciation towards you and I will forever be grateful. I hope this doesn’t change anything between us. The last thing I want is to ruin a perfectly good friendship. You’re like family to me. I don’t want to lose that piece of my heart… You. I know it’s too late to rewind and stop where we first started catching feelings for each other to prevent any of this from happening, but I don’t regret any part of the memories we created. I wish you nothing but happiness and everlasting love with the next. You’ll be in my thoughts.

I love you.

Thank you. 

Memories

Just the fact that i can’t get rid of those memories we had and shared.. Since 2007 till like 2012😂
Makes me sad. Bc you probably don’t remember them.. So why am i still holding onto these memories. Why.
People come and go don’t they. Why am i still holding onto something that has obviously made the choice to leave me?
I don’t know. But it hurts. Because i’d drive pass your old house and tears will build up. Everything was so simple. We were so close. I don’t know why it’s just like we’re strangers to each other. It’s hurting me a shit tonne more than it should. But we’re strangers now. So i don’t see why i pay so much attention to this

fuack im so pathetic

im crying watching a 10 year fan made documentary of BoA’s success in japan

im like ;u; right now

all these i was there right from the start omfgg

it makes me cry, memories come rushing in, like every heart was my most memorable song cuz of inuyasha

then shine we are was the first song i wanted to memorize from her

and then double was the first song i introduced to my friends and i asked them if they wanted to learn the dance with me

and kiseki was my most fave song of all timee and i listened to the most when im feeling sad or nostalgic

urghhhhh so much memories from elementary days when i first got to know her, from highschool days listening to her songs late at night when im studying for a test, and when i was in college when i get stressed with all these nurses notes and all the physical and nursing assessment shet i had to do until we hours of the morning, her songs were always there with me every step of the way in my life

;u;

“I might be disabled in the body, but not at heart.”

On the second last day of his internship in January 2014, while giving his farewell speech, 20-year-old polytechnic student, Lee Yong Jie (right, with his mum) suddenly lost consciousness. He was rushed to Singapore General Hospital and was found to have suffered a stroke due to a rupture of an abnormal blood vessel in his brain.

Keep reading

So this is the last week before the exams and im having mixed feelings about it. Im looking forward to maybe having the craic but im sad that this is it all over and thats killing me. Ive had the best year ever ive learned alot and ive made some awesome friends along the way. Ive made some epic memories that i still laugh at. Im gonna miss my three fave lads so much especially boo i love him so much. This year has really taught me a lot about myself and finally being comfortable with who i am. i wish the last few months didnt go so fast and i wish i could go back to day one as in first day of college i woukd love to have become friends with my three lads so i could of had more time with them and really get to know one of them. Im si glad i went to college and ive loved it so much. Best time ever.

People often tell me not to let my emotions control me.

And from since the idea of emotion or self-expression had been introduced to my little naive mind, I have been slaving myself to them. Completely and uninhibitedly.

But can I really fault myself for embracing emotions?

I laugh wholeheartedly when I’m happy,
I scowl, eyebrows ruffled, shout, scream, kick and swear when I’m mad.
I cry, bawl, break down, kneel on cold hard concrete, knuckles bared and red from punching of walls when I’m sad.
I love with my emotions and I hug tightly to the memories and feelings the ones I love convey to me.

Why is it wrong to embrace my emotions?

That I would forget to be objective?

In love, life and everything in between, I wish to stop being too objective, it has ruined so much, made me so untrusting of others, made me so bitter.

The idea that I’m supposed to be happy when I’m angry or sad depresses me.

The idea that my educators and even my parents tell me that doesn’t give me any hope.

I don’t need your false happiness or your masks of lies, I don’t need your whiskey of inebriated memories or your intentional starvation of negativity, I don’t need your emaciated soul, lifeless and bleak on the inside.

I just need you to be by my side when everything breaks down.

Just… Don’t leave.

Everyone has…

Wine Down Wednesday


April 15, 2015


I saw a picture today that made me sad. And it shouldn’t have. It was a mother and her toddler snuggling up for an afternoon. This picture made me miss something I never had. I never had those “baby moments” - those mommy memories that most cling to when their babies are grown.

So, tonight, when my boys wanted to “snuggle up” - for only for 10 minutes each - I didn’t care that it was bedtime…I wanted THAT kind of time with them. Snuggle, we did! ❤️

So, here I am, later than usual, drinking wine and writing about my day - all because of a picture and a snuggle.

Tonight’s Taste:
Bergstrom Pinot Noir 2012
Bergstrom Vineyard

Dark and rich, a complex #wine giving off flavors of burnt cherry, ash and a long, espresso finish, it is the perfect choice for my melancholy mood tonight. There is a story in this wine. I can taste it.

Side Note: Wine Spectator gave this #pinot a 95 rating. Well deserved, in my book.

#Cheers to making memories…


#life #motherhood #thewineinbetween #winemama #wine_mama #winewednesday #winedownwednesday

I have always wore my crazy curls and yet for pictures i used to straighten it… this was 2003 senior high school pictures. My friend reminded me of this as we were discussing all the horror stories that have made our small town reach national news lately. Upper suburbian affluence my ass, bunch of spoiled assholes who don’t respect a damn thing. So sad, but looking back I had a great childhood and adolescence in that small town and “we laid a lot of memories down, like tattoos on this town” ❤ holy smokes this was 12 yrs ago… yep I’m the flirty 30 and happily there - can’t believe it came so quick!!! Hahaha And remember when Tiffany chunk bracelets & necklaces were the rave and EVERYONE had them. Lmao #2003 #tbt #fbf #highschool #highschooldays #childhood #seniorsneverfall #gokp #warrior #cheerleading #softball #trackandfield #memories #throwback #girlswholift #girlswhosquat #girlswithmuscles #fitchick #musclemama #igfit #fitfam #train #instafit #instadaily

I miss you so much! But right now all I want to do is talk, I wish I could talk to you face to face so I could say that I’m sorry for everything I ever did to make you mad/sad or cry. I jus want you to stay in my life as someone I can talk too, someone that i can cry too!, someone i can share my pain with!, someone I kno that well tell me the truth & not be scared to say it! Because honestly I never wanted this to go that far but it did & you showed me more love then anyone every did! & believe me every memory that we had together I wouldn’t want to erase them! Or lose you or them!.. You made me feel so different! Yea I was your girlfriend but we had are ups & downs Alot! But you believe in me more then I ever did! but a guy that showed me stuff & told me everything I never kno & someone I fell in love with! & I’m sorry that I lied to you when I said I didn’t care about us or you because I did!. I’m sorry i never said ILOVEYOU back!. You come up in my head like you belong there & then my heart hurts like someone stabbed it!.. You made me not want to give up on little things! You were more then a guy/boyfriend/my_wrong/my_right/my_bear/my_best_friend! I jus wish I could tell you that face to face! But I can’t! But honestly I don’t want anyone else to have your heart! kiss your lips! be in your arms! be the one you love!.. i don’t want anyone to take you from me or my place!.. Your heart beat was my favorite song! Can I hear my favorite song again!? When you hug me? Can you jus be my smile again! I miss looking at you & jus smile for no reason!. I miss the feeling i got when you hugged me or touch my hands or when you slapped my butt… I wish i could explain the feeling but i cant! I want to be the reason why you fall asleep with your phone in your hand! I want you to make me forget what I was going to say with your smile
—  Everything i want to tell txts dechambre but im scared

So there was a dove ad that asked girls to rate themselves through two doors:

Beautiful or average.

Most were hard-pressed to make a decision, wavering at the entrances.

Some even refused to walk through those doors in fear of judgement.

Of themselves or of other people.

The sad thing was that most women were out there looking about their surroundings when wanting to go through the door that they thought defined them.

While through the average door, most just… walked through it nonchalantly.

I know you never liked pictures of yourself, selfies or what not.

And you never liked how you looked.

But last night I had a dream of you again,

And I doubt the memories of you will ever leave me again.

But maybe because you’re gone and doing better things in life and improving without me around,

I think it was still the best choice you ever made.

The thing is… If you ever stood out with those two choices in the future.

I would really love for you to walk through the door that described you so well,

When I saw my own personal rapture in you.

And if you stood out there thinking or stumped in a way,

I swear I would come carry you through that door,

Run off, never to be seen again.

I’d be really happy to be always a fleeting spectre.