this-isn't-a-car

moral messages taught in the Cars franchise
  • Cars (2006): winning isn't everything!
  • Cars 2 (2011): don't let john lasseter direct a film off-site over facetime
  • Cars 3 (2017): winning is everything! also fuck millennials

anonymous asked:

People drive up to the security gate, and get pissed off when I come out asking who they are. Your car isn't marked for your company, you're just sitting there not pressing the button to speak to me. Don't give me attitude when i ask who you are, and who you have an appointment with. It's my fucking job, and you're not getting special treatment if I've never seen you before.

anonymous asked:

Isn't the entire idea with cars that crumple up on impact that the car absorbs more of the impact to protect the occupants?

yes but there’s more to it than that

take any car pre 1980 and run it into a telephone pole at a slow speed. See, these old cars had these things called “bumpers” which were made of steel and allowed you to “bump” things without totaling your car. It would just get maybe a small dent at worst.

Now, thanks to CAFE standards, carmakers are forced by government rules to make their cars weigh less and less in order to meet the standards so the whole damn thing is made out of paper mache, your “spare tire” has been replaced with a little “donut” , and a host of other seemingly small changes which have made your car into a deathtrap

which then has to be counteracted with even more crumple zones and other run arounds to de-deathrap-ify the car

which ends up making the cars even more expensive than they already are so then you have to get a government subsidized predatory 7 year car loan

my point is that the government is ruining our lives it’s a menace and it will kill us all if it’s not stopped

iamthefeelsanon  asked:

Derek is the sort of nerd who always checks the weather before leaving home for hours. Which is why he was prepared for the pouring rain. He was not prepared for the random guy running up to him and ducking under his golf umbrella with him. He was not prepared for the guy to say he thought they were parked next to each other and could he walk with Derek. He was especially not prepared for the guy to be super cute. But when his car isn't next to Derek's after all Derek can't leave him in (1/?)

the rain so naturally he walks “call me Stiles” around until they find his jeep. Which is how these two dorks walk around a parking lot until the rain stops and then wander back in to the mall (or whatever) to eat because they’ve been doing this for HOURS and Derek really wants to keep talking to Stiles and he’s trying to figure out if this counts as a date when Stiles mentions that he may be parked next to Derek after all. Oops. They decide on a second date the next day. It’s breakfast. (2/2)

*clutches heart* this is so cute, holy fuck.

 i love stiles’ way of flirting lmao what a dork. i bet he gave himself a mental high five when he realized it was working. and i love derek being such a nerd (seriously, give me all the nerd!derek, i need it) and i just !!!! i love everything about this omg <3

why she stayed;

⇢ summary: fan hate pushes you to leave jaebum for good, but it’s only so long before you remember all the reasons why you stayed in the first place. for this beauty’s request.

⇢ relationship: im jaebum/reader.

genre: angst, romance.

⇢ words: 3.8k

⇢ warnings: mentions of self-hate, depressing themes, bullying.

Originally posted by got7kings

a/n: i would recommend listening to “you should be here” by kehlani to get a feel of jaebum’s pov :)


It’s quiet, the quietest your shared home with Jaebum has ever been, and the silence was suffocating.

Jaebum hadn’t done much of anything since that fateful day two weeks ago, when you had grabbed a bag and stuffed it full of everything that wouldn’t remind you of him and left. You had been kidding yourself though; every possession of yours, every memory that predated your relationship, even every breath reminded you of someone who wasn’t there. It had been driving you insane as much as the silence had been driving Jaebum insane.

He’d wake, in the sheets you two had picked out together four months ago, to see the bathroom door cracked open (you hated the bathroom door being open at night), and his day would start painfully.

He’d put on slippers that you had painstakingly attempted to shuffle around the house in time and time again despite the obvious shoe size difference, would pour coffee into mugs with puppies on them that you had bent over laughing in the middle of the store about, would stare past starry patterned curtains draping the living room windows that you had told him reminded you of the night sky from back home. He would wake and live and survive, and each day would somehow, somehow, feel more painful than the last. At night, right before he would fall asleep without your warmth against his back, he’d wonder how you were, if you were thinking of him as much as he you, and then he’d force his eyes closed only to dream in colors of you.

And it wasn’t like you were having the best time either.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Ok so I had this thought and nobody to share it with of a 'bot with a human who refuses to take two trips when getting bags out of their car (because nobody got time for that) and the 'bot keeps saying stuff that they're being stupid and their car isn't even that far away from their house, but the human just says stuff like "two trips are for the weak". It's even better if you imagine it as a smol human carrying like ten heavy ass bags, and before you ask yes this is somewhat based on me.

NO SECOND TRIPS!!! NO! SECOND! TRIPS!

The lil human is struggling under the weight of the ENTIRE grocery list like “I got this! I was the third-place push-up champion in fourth grade! I’mma bench you next!” 

And the bot just sighs, transforms, and picks up the groceries and their lil human. 

Human goes “YEA!!! SECOND TRIPS ARE FOR WIMPS!”

Pixar character Lightning McQueen: *frequently says a “no!” repeatedly to no avail for humorous effect*
Pixar: hm
Pixar: ….what if we somehow made this…. sad…………. instead of funny….
Lightning McQueen: *now says NO repeatedly in response to the realization of his impending obsolescence before he hits a wall at 200mph, violently crashes and nearly dies*
Pixar: ……..perfect

anonymous asked:

Hollywood. Observation on separate cars. They were both headed to set. Caitriona, finished with hair&make-up, was in a robe because whatever costume she'll wear shouldn't be crammed in a car -- probably getting dressed in a room near (or on set). Sam, already in costume because riding in a car isn't going to cause a problem to his wardrobe, finishes with hair&make-up and heads to set later. They would not hold her up getting to set since she still needs to put on her costume. Not unusual.

Thanks Hollywood.  It makes total sense and I am not sure why the grasping at straws to poo on our parade is even a thing.

anonymous asked:

What it may happen if there isn't space in the car and the guys crush, being a little daring in hope to get the waters moves a little, sat on the boys lap and during the ride it wiggle a bit and rest their head on the chocobros shoulder?

I made this a bit playful because I’m in a playful mood, hope you don’t mind^^

Noctis: Cherry red face all da day alright, this boy would be so flustered that he’d just freeze the moment their ass made contact with his lap like he wouldn’t even touch them or look at them. The moment they wiggle their ass though he’d quickly clutch at their legs to make them stop because he swore he was about to have a heart attack. If they rest their head on his shoulder though he’d relax a tiny bit and lightly rest his hand on their knee.

Prompto: Okay he’d be so fucking hyped for such affection from his crush like he’d sit down then do a big sweeping motion with his arm indicating that his lap was open for them to sit then after that it’s cute little jokes and snapping some photos together although he almost dropped his camera when his crush wiggled their ass. When they lean their head on him he’d coo in his head at them before snapping a shot of them.

Gladio: smug little ass about the whole thing like oh, you wanna sit on my lap? who the fuck wouldn’t ya know stuff like that. He’d lean back in his seat with one hand behind his head and the other on their waist and they wouldn’t even need to wiggle their ass because he’d grind up his hips and use some sketchy excuse like he needed to stretch out his legs or some shit, and when they lay their head on his shoulder he’d run his fingers through their hair.

Ignis: Ignis is very old fashioned so this would trip him up because he’d think such affectionate nature should be reserved for personal time and with an established partner. He’d likely find a way to make room for them so they’d have their own seat and so he didn’t suffer from a heart attack.