this-is-why-i'm-single

10

AHHH IM SO DAMN CONFUSED ON WHICH I POSTED BC I STARTED IN EARLY JANUARY AND I HAVE 118 OF DEEZ 

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GUISE here’s the MASTERPOST to ALL the photo sets that i posted for deez vday cards  

Nothing pisses me off more than Black boys talking hair.

They want a girl with Natural hair,

But it has to be big, long, and wavy.

It can’t be that kinky, coily, curly stuff that grows from most of our heads.

Actually…
Ya know what,
I just don’t like hearing about black boys talking about black girls period. We aren’t good enough. Gotta be mixed or light skin to be pretty, and if you are, you can almost pretty much have any body type and still be fine. But let yo ass be brown skin…
Bitch betta be a ghatdamn coke bottle to be fine.

I’m not really salty about this because I know that absolutely no one is looking at me and criticizing and critiquing my appearance, because it’s just that bad.

But I still hear the shit y’all say and watch these pretty ass girls feel like they aren’t enough or like they aren’t pretty because of the pressure y’all— y’all being black guys— put on them.

It just makes me mad. Shut the fuck up and be happy with the beautiful brown goddess that chooses yo dusty, undeserving ass.

How to kiss a girl:

  •  Rest your palm on her cheek
  •  Stare lovingly into her eyes
  •  Slowly lean forward
  •  Whisper “TAKE A CLOSER LOOK AT THAT SNOUT”

someday when i have a significant other after we have our first real big fight i’m going to go out and buy one of taco bell’s boxes of taco’s and bring them home for dinner or lunch of whatever and i’m going to wait for them and when they get home and they’ve had their space i’m going to offer them a taco and i’m going to call it “taco bout it hour” and work things out 

20+ years later...

*future teenage son walks into the living room looking somewhat pissed*

Me: What’s wrong, honey?

Son: I just finished looking up my name on the internet for that assignment. 

Me: Oh. Haha… *voice takes on an unnaturally high pitch* Yeah, told you it meant “vigorous spring”. 

Son: Mom… *glares* you named me after one half of the “most shipped slash pairing in fangirl history”. 

Me: *breaks out in cold sweat*

Son: Not to mention my middle name just happens to be that of the actor who plays him.

Me: *really breaks out in cold sweat*

Son: *sigh* But I guess he is kind of gorgeous. *flips his long-ass hair* Just like me.

Me: *cups his cheek tenderly* I have raised you well, my son.