this-is-where-i-paused-it

history of the entire world, I guess starters (pt 1)
  • ❛  You’re on a rock floating in space.  ❜
  • ❛  Pretty cool, huh ?  ❜
  • ❛  Some of it’s water. fuck it, actually, most of it’s water.  ❜
  • ❛  I can’t even get from here to there without buying a boat.  ❜
  • ❛  It’s sad. I’m sad. I miss you.  ❜
  • ❛  How did this happen ?  ❜
  • ❛  A long time ago - actually, never. and also now.  ❜
  • ❛  Nothing is no where.  ❜
  • ❛  Makes sense, right ?  ❜
  • ❛  Like I said, it didn’t happen.  ❜
  • ❛  Nothing was never anywhere, that’s why it’s been everywhere.  ❜
  • ❛  It’s been so everywhere you don’t even need a where. You don’t even need a when.  ❜
  • ❛  That’s how ‘every’ it gets.  ❜
  • ❛  Forget this.  ❜
  • ❛  I wanna be something, go somewhere, do something.  ❜
  • ❛  I want things to change !  ❜
  • ❛  I want to invent time and space.  ❜
  • ❛  I know it’s possible because everything is here.  ❜
  • ❛  It’s probably already happened.  ❜
  • ❛  I just don’t know when to start.  ❜
  • ❛  And that’s exactly where it started.  ❜
  • ❛  Woah, I paused it.  ❜
  • ❛  I think there’s a universe now.  ❜
  • ❛  What’s it made of ?  ❜
  • ❛  Ah, that’s a thing. In a place.  ❜
  • ❛  Don’t like it ? Try a new place at a different time.  ❜
  • ❛  Some of them even doubled up.  ❜
  • ❛  It’s a star !  ❜
  • ❛  New shit just got made.  ❜
  • ❛  Some stars burn out and die, bigger stars burn out and die with PASSION !  ❜
  • ❛  Holy shit we just got hit with another ball of flaming rocks.  ❜
  • ❛  It kinda made a mess.  ❜
  • ❛  Weather update: it’s raining rocks from outer space.  ❜
  • ❛  Now there’s hot steam in the sky.  ❜
  • ❛  Weather update: cooler temperatures today and the floor is no longer lava.  ❜
  • ❛  Weather update: it’s raining.  ❜
  • ❛  Severe flooding alert ! the entire world is now an ocean.  ❜
  • ❛  There’s life in the ocean.  ❜
  • ❛  Something’s alive in the ocean !  ❜
  • ❛  oh, cool, like a plant or an animal ?  ❜
  • ❛  It lives at the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup.  ❜
  • ❛  Oh, yeah, and it can do that.  ❜
  • ❛  It has secret instructions inside itself telling itself how to build another one of itself.  ❜
  • ❛  Tired of living at the bottom of the ocean ?  ❜
  • ❛  Now you can eat sunlight !  ❜
  • ❛  Using a revolutionary technique you can convert sunlight into food.  ❜
  • ❛  Taste the Sun !  ❜
  • ❛  Side affect: now there’s oxygen everywhere and the sky’s blue.  ❜
  • ❛  Wow that’s animals and stuff.  ❜
  • ❛  Hey can we go on land ?  ❜
  • ❛  The sun is a deadly lazer.  ❜
  • ❛  Nope ! Can’t walk yet.  ❜
  • ❛  There’s no food yet so I don’t care.  ❜
  • ❛  Learn to use an egg.  ❜
  • ❛  I was already doing that.  ❜
  • ❛  And now everything’s huge.  ❜
  • ❛  oh fuck, now everything’s dead.  ❜
  • ❛  Here are the survivors. Keep your eyes on this one.  ❜
  • ❛  Yeah, it broke apart, don’t worry about it. It does that all the time.  ❜
  • ❛  and the dinosaurs are gone.  ❜
  • ❛  It’s mammal time, here come the mammals !  ❜
  • ❛  Look at those breasts !  ❜
  • ❛  Now they’re gonna dominate the world.  ❜
  • ❛  One of them just learned how to grab stuff.  ❜
  • ❛  That’s a human person !  ❜
  • ❛  And now they’re everywhere.  ❜
  • ❛  Well I guess we’re stuck here now.  ❜
  • ❛  Let’s review: there’s people on the planet and they’re chasing their food.  ❜
  • ❛  Fuck it. Time to plant some grass.  ❜
  • ❛  Look at this. I control the food now.  ❜
  • ❛  Now everyone will want to be my friend and live near me.  ❜
  • ❛  This is great ! I wonder if anyone else is doing this ?  ❜
  • ❛  Tired of using rocks for everything ? Use metal !  ❜
  • ❛  It’s underground.  ❜
  • ❛  Better farming was just invented in a sweet, dank valley right in between these two rivers.  ❜
  • ❛  Guess what happens next !  ❜
  • ❛  Coming soon to a dank river valley near you !  ❜
  • ❛  Meanwhile out in the middle of nowhere the horse is probably being tamed.  ❜
  • ❛  Why is all my metal so lame and lumpy ?  ❜
  • ❛  Tired of using lame, sad metal ?  ❜
  • ❛  I don’t know, my dealer won’t tell me where he gets it.  ❜
  • ❛  Meanwhile, out in the middle of no where they figured out how to put wheels on a horse.  ❜
  • ❛  Now we’re getting somewhere.  ❜
  • ❛  You could make a religion out of this.  ❜
  • ❛  And they believe in god.  ❜
  • ❛  He’s got, like, a ten step program.  ❜
  • ❛  Wow, that’s big.  ❜
  • ❛  Ah, the Buddha was just enlightened.  ❜
  • ❛  This guy who sat under a tree for so long he figured out how to ignore the fact that we’re all dying.  ❜
  • ❛  He was great, and now he’s dead.  ❜
  • ❛  Get the hell out of here.  ❜
  • ❛  Will you get the hell out of here if I give you five hundred elephants ?  ❜
  • ❛  And they’ve got spices !  ❜
  • ❛  Fuck you, obey the law.  ❜
  • ❛  Then it broke again.  ❜
  • ❛  Hell yeah ! Now we got business.  ❜
  • ❛  Is loving Jesus legal yet ?  ❜
  • ❛  No … actually, ok, sure.  ❜
  • ❛  Don’t worry about Rome, it won’t fall.  ❜
  • ❛  What’s a barbarian ?  ❜
  • ❛  Here’s a huge city, population: everyone.  ❜
  • ❛  Your gods are all fake.  ❜
  • ❛  Everyone got so mad at him that he had to leave town and go to a different town.  ❜
  • ❛  The Roman Empire is long gone but somehow the Pope is still the Pope.  ❜
  • ❛  Someone owns that now.  ❜
dean/cas fic: circular (1k)

circular; 1k, pre-coda, inspired by the latest 12x19 promo.

[AO3]

Dean jumps slightly when the bunker’s door creaks. It’s been over a month, but he still thinks please, please, please before looking up.

“Cas,” Sam says.

Cas’ shoulders are stiff. “Hello.”

“Hey. You’re all right. Um ─” Cas turns away and starts down the stairs. Sam glances at Dean before continuing, “Where’ve you been?”

Dean’s pulse is thumping in his ears. “Lemme rephrase that for Sam: where the hell’ve you been? And why’ve you ignored our phone calls?”

“Where I was,” Cas says, pausing beside the table, “the reception was ─ um. Poor.”

Dean’s jaw tics; being angry is easier than ─ it’s just easier. He grunts, “No bars,” and looks back at Sam. “No bars ─ that’s his excuse.” He takes a breath and meets Cas’ eyes. “Wow.”

“I was in Heaven. I was… working with the angels.”

Dean’s mouth moves but nothing comes out. On his third try he says, “You ─ Heaven? You were in Heaven?”

“Yes.”

“So you ─ uh. You.” Heat crowds up underneath Dean’s jaw. “You were - did you -?” He’s not sure he wants to ask that question in front of Sam, so he grumbles, “Whatever,” and walks out of the War Room.

+

Keep reading

Chihokogate is overwhelmingly romantic; fight me

I’ve seen people describe the “Overcome Chihoko” story in a number of ways–Victor being Extra, crackfic, something written purely for laughs, and so forth. And yes, I think all of those things are true, to a certain extent, but I’m not sure we appreciate exactly how lovely of an instance of crackfic this is.

More below the cut.

Keep reading

Yoonmin Fic Recs Masterlist (only happy endings)

So I have been reading a lot of Yoongi/Jimin because they are giving me all the feelings, here are some of my favourite ones. I will keep updating this. It is short because I just started not too long ago. :)

Note that this is for fun only and I do not actually believe that the real Yoongi and Jimin will be romantically linked in any way. 

All of the fics are complete and on Ao3.

Updated: 28th September 2017

Winter Blues

Yoongi is turned into a cat by a sorceress, and novice witch Jimin finds him and takes him home.
Fluff and feelings ensue.

Me: This fic is fluff. Fluff. Fluff. There is just enough tension. Just enough angst. Just enough everything to make this the perfect warm-feeling fic to end off the night before you sleep.

7 Minutes in Heaven

“It’s a fusion game. The person who spins the bottle gets to ask the person it landed on truth or dare, and if that person doesn’t want to answer or do the dare then they either take a shot or take off an article of clothing,” Jin says like he’s proud of improvising such a fantastic game.

“I’m not playing that,” Yoongi says.

“Hyung, don’t be a party pooper, are you scared we’ll learn your secrets?” Hoseok asks and Namjoon ah’s dramatically.

Yoongi shakes his head and puts his tongue in his cheek before he smiles at their antics, pushing Namjoon over closer to Jin so that he can sit down.

“Please, hyung, it sounds like fun!” Jungkook says. “It’s my birthday.”

Me: Indulgent!Yoongi and shy!Jimin is my favourite thing.

Coffee and Honey

“-Hyung…- Hoseok sighs -You are as intimidating as a pink marshmallow.
-That’s the fucking point! -Yoongi literally bangs his head on the table -He IS a pink marshmallow.”

In which Yoongi has insomnia, cannot for the love of God socialize, and Jimin is the way too cheerful and, oh, so downright gorgeus barista who works in a nocturnal coffe shop.

Me: As an insomniac, this fic feels like a dream come true.

13 Iconic Yoonmin Moments

“Taetae

https://youtu.be/jESuM-NRS9k 23:59
I feel like you might want to watch this, hyung ;) 23:59”

Or, the one where Taehyung sends Yoongi a video that shows the top 13 Iconic Yoonmin Moments, and suddenly Yoongi is way too aware of the way Jimin acts around him.

Me: I really love canon BTS fics and this one is good so much that it is believable. I really really love how the writer made it realistic and well-paced.

Money can’t buy happiness (except when it does)

“So, I know that you’re homeless and that you don’t need my pity, it’s just that I noticed you always write on the edges of your notebook because you probably can’t buy a new one, so I bought you six new notebooks and… wait, are you crying?” AU

Me: This made me sad but made me smile at the same time. As always, all fics all this list end well so get ready for some light angst that ends with fluff.

Please don’t take my Sunshine Away

“As you took the sun away from my life I will do the same. You’ll never feel the sun on your skin again, you will never see the light of day. Only when someone will feel for you love in the purest form, in the brightest way, only then the sun will come back again. But too bad, such love does not exist and it will never find it’s way.”

Min Yoongi is cursed and hasn’t seen the sun in three years. Enter Park Jimin, literal ray of sunshine, and suddenly the sun isn’t so important anymore.

Me: As someone who has days that feel like they never see the sunlight. I think I am also looking for a Jimin who is the embodiment of sunshine.

in your eyes (it’s where i wanna be)

Jimin pauses with his marker inches away from the cup, because — is he really going to do this? Isn’t it a bit old-fashioned to write something flirty on a coffee cup? But no matter what his churning gut says about danger and what the hell are you doing do you want to die, this guy is — with no better way to put it — totally Jimin’s Type with a capital T.

(Or: Jimin accidentally starts a nickname war with the cute blonde who likes his coffee way too bitter.)

Me: This is just so much cute blushing Jimin and tough but secretly soft Yoongi. I love love love this so much.


Updated: 25th June 2017

I only rec fics with happy endings.

Heated Love

“In his daze Jimin barely realizes the seriousness of the situation, but he’s sure of one thing: he’d trust Yoongi with his life. And right now, with his aching body and burning skin, he couldn’t trust anyone else but the alpha to take care of him.”

In which Jimin is going through his first heat and, again, he doesn’t really know what to do.

Me: this is the continuation to the First Love fic further down this list. I am a sucker for protective!Yoongi and needyOmega!Jimin so let’s just leave it at there. I also might have a bit of a Hyung kink but let’s not talk about this anymore.

Movie Night

Movie night with the band usually means a lazy evening watching some dull western flick while eating unhealthy amounts of popcorn, but every now and then, when it’s Jeongguk’s turn to pick, it means gory horror movies that has Jimin burying his face in the crook of his boyfriend’s neck to not scream in terror at every single jumpscare.

And Yoongi? Well, Yoongi finds a new way to distract him.

Me: This is *blush* the filthiest one-shot I have on this list and it hits all the right spots. Featuring the shy Jiminnie and his indulgent Yoongi. 

Barbershop Romance

Jimin’s impromptu visit to a salon called SUGA turns out to be more interesting than he expected. Way more interesting.

(Also known as 27 pages full of tooth-rotting fluff, painfully obvious flirting, and sexual tension.)

Me: This is just so much fluff and tension and Min Yoongi being a secret softie for our Jimin. 

Barbershop Love

Jimin has never taken his best friend’s jokes about his alleged praise kink seriously, because that’s all they are and ever will be. Jokes. They’re stupid jokes that Taehyung makes at his expense to see the shy Jimin turn into a blushing, embarrassed mess of stuttering protests and meek curses. They’re only jokes, and they’re so stupid.

Or at least Jimin has always thought so, but then his hairdresser boyfriend asks him to pose as a model for his winter collection, and Jimin realizes that there might the teeniest, tiniest bit of truth to Taehyung’s persistent teasing.

Me: I am quite the sucker also for a Jimin with a praise kink. Let’s just leave it as that. This is a sorta sequel to the fic above. MissterMaia is a genius, I would recommend reading everything they have written.

Greedy

Yoongi gives Jimin anything he asks for, but Jimin still wants more.

Me: SugarDaddy!Yoongi pampers SugarBaby!Jimin but his baby wants more. So much more. This is just fluff there is so much fluff.

Math Tutor

Min Yoongi is the school’s resident Bad Boy™. He’s covered in tattoos, is pierced, curses like a sailor, smokes like crazy, doesn’t give a shit about anything, possesses a hot temper that has people steering clear of him, and is desperately in love with Park Jimin, the adorable math nerd. When Jimin is tasked with tutoring Yoongi in math, who is in danger of failing the class and being held back a year, both boys are hesitant. Yoongi because he can’t think straight around the boy with startling red hair, and Jimin because Yoongi is scary as hell and looks like he can easily kill someone. Gradually, though, the two grow closer, and Jimin finds that Yoongi is nothing like how he’d imagined.

Me: BadBoy!Yoongi being a softie for our good student Jimin. Hits all the right spots.

Blueberry Muffins

Park Jimin, a meek, quiet assistant at Bangtan News Station, catches the wrath of his long-
time crush, the 7’o clock news anchor, Min Yoongi, when Jimin accidentally switches scripts one night and almost causes an incident on live, national television. Yoongi is furious and makes Jimin cry in a room full of their coworkers, calling him names and telling him how stupid he is. Afterwards, Jimin takes to avoiding Yoongi like the plague, and Yoongi, who at first couldn’t stand Jimin, can’t help but start noticing him everywhere. Soon he finds himself falling for Jimin, which scares him, because Yoongi has never felt this way about a man before. Will it be too late to salvage a relationship with Jimin, or did Yoongi ruin his chance for good?

Me: Some light angst here and there but of course, like all the other fics in this list, there is a happy endings. 

The Devil’s Mistress

Yoongi is Captain of the pirate ship, the Devil’s Mistress, and he and his crew are racing against time to find a famous buried treasure, always one step behind and losing it to another rival ship. To gain the upper hand, Yoongi kidnaps a silver-haired beauty who is rumored to be a creature of great power. He isn’t expecting to fall in love on the way.

Me: I love the bed-sharing trope in fics. So this is perfect.

Side Dishes

Yoongi is Korea’s most famous actor. He’s kissed so many pretty girls that he doesn’t know what love is supposed to feel like anymore.

And then he meets rookie actor Park Jimin.

Me: What? A fic with feelings and plot and also a secondary plot that is good enough to be a fic of its own? 

Magic Appa Love Scone

The one where Park Jimin thinks he mostly has his shit together until he wakes up married in a future universe that tells him otherwise.

AKA the one where fate slaps Park Jimin across the face.

Me: I know that the title sounds weird but wow this gave me far too many feelings. 

Sexy Mochi

Yoongi’s never really understood why it’s a stereotypical thing for alphas to have some obsession with omega’s necks. He’d always thought that was kind of weird and just some macho ‘make your mate submit by biting their throat’ thing until he’s alone in the kitchen with Park Jimin and his damn shirt falls down his damn shoulder.

Me: Omega!Jimin is a tease when he wants to be.

Spring Day

Even when he was a pup, Park Jimin never even dreamed that he would find his soulmate. Thoughts like that were better left to his hopelessly romantic best friend and partner in crime, Kim Taehyung. It’s a one in a million chance, but a twist of fate brings a strange wolf into Jimin’s life and it changes things forever.

Me: Alpha!Yoongi learns to love with our little Omega!Jimin. With a healthy amount of angst to add to the fluff at the end.


Updated: 3rd June 2017

I have returned with some new fics I found over the last few weeks. Enjoy! :D 

Out of My System

Yoongi likes one night stands and he understands how they work. What he doesn’t understand, however, is how he ended up in bed with a probably-not-legal kid crying in his arms about his broken heart, because he’s pretty sure (and correct him if he’s wrong) that a babysitting job was not what he was looking for when he went to the opening of his friend’s new club.

Me: How do I say this, there are fics that start with one night stands and none of them went on as beautifully as this one. It is a natural progression, almost like a real relationship, I am like the way Yoongi is portrayed here. Conflicted but ultimately a softie at heart.

where the heart is

She hadn’t been ready to be a mother and Yoongi hadn’t been ready to be a father, but where she had turned tail and run, Yoongi had vowed never to do the same.

Me: I wasn’t expecting this single father Yoongi story to pull me in as much as it did. There is sufficient twists in this to keep it interesting and also a climax at the end which is nice. A soft, mostly fluffy story of how a Yoongi believes in love again. 

tear the moon from the stars tonight

“Remember what I told you. You are mine now and I take care of my things.”

Joseon Era AU: Jimin, a low born, catches the attention of nobleboy Min Yoongi.

Me: I wasn’t sure what to expect of this Joseon AU fic but it was pretty good, with enough character progression. Read it for something different.

Paper Chase

Jimin thought that joining a fraternity would be all parties and fun. He hadn’t anticipated falling for his cute roommate, Yoongi.

Me: If you are looking for some light fluff and PWP, this is the fic to go for. It is a hard R so beware.


Updated: 29th May 2017

when you’re in love all the lines get blurred

Jimin isn’t sure what possessed him to lie to his mother and tell her that he had a boyfriend, but now that he’s opened the position, he has no choice but to fill it. Yoongi is, apparently, his only option.

Me: I just love love love love the whole fake boyfriend idea no matter which fandom I am into at the moment. I really enjoyed this one there is some angst but also so must fluff.

The 100-Day Love Challenge 

For a variety show challenge, Jimin must tell Yoongi every day for 100 days that he loves him.

Me: There is nothing for me to explain. Nothing. If you are having a bad day and need fluff this is it.

Conflicting Arrangement

“Absolutely not,” Yoongi deadpanned. “Namjoon-ah. I value you as a friend, and I think I’d even go as far as to say that you’re my best friend, but absolutely fucking not.”

“You owe me,” Namjoon pleaded. “Come on, Yoongi, it’s not a big deal.”

“Your boyfriend’s best friend’s best friend needs a fake boyfriend to come out to his family this Chuseok, all the way in fucking Busan.” Yoongi repeated drily without pause, making Namjoon wince. He flipped a page of his textbook, picking up his highlighter. “Not a big deal, Namjoon. Amazing.”

Me: This is a really really long fic but god do I love it. It is worth it. Slow but the character development is really really well done. It is also yet another pretend boyfriend fics (I just love them)

First Love

Jimin is being courted for the first time. He doesn’t really know what to do.

Me: This fic is in the OmegaVerse, if you are not into it please do not enter. I repeat, DO NOT ENTER. However if you are, this fic is just too precious not to share I want to drown in the fluffiness of it all.

Do You Like Your Drafts Rough?

As a romance novelist, one would think Min Yoongi would have his own romantic life sorted out a little more than he actually did. Because instead of being in a happy, nauseating relationship, Yoongi was juggling both a one-sided crush and some punk who lived downstairs.

Me: This is an AU where Yoongi is a writer and Jin is a librarian. I highly recommend the entire series.

we pass in front of a flower shop (and i catch the scent of roses)

Jimin’s a florist who sings to the flowers and crushes hard on the mint-haired man who just came in to buy a cactus.

Me: Just picture Jiminnie singing to flowers and watering them because i am dying at the thought of it and this fic is exactly what it is. PLEASE READ for a fluffy time.

Iron Crown (III)

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You / Jinyoung

Rating: R

Warning: Domestic abuse

Word Count: 6,071

Summary: As the Crown Princess of Vitus, your land has always been peaceful. When your power-hungry Uncle decides to stop paying the tithe though, things take a turn for the worse. The vampires who reside in the mountains are not happy and in retaliation - they set their sights on you.

Originally posted by wangmins

Keep reading

Bunyips? oi yeah nah mate

I dunno how it mighta got here, but I guess it came along with me on my move from Australia. To tourists, a bunyip don’t look too out of place considering all the other whacky things one might find in the mysterious Land Down Under. But an Aussie can recognise that a bunyip don’t really fit with the local wildlife. They’d hang ‘round billabongs, creeks, lakes and the dams on the farms. Kids who’ve never seen one, who’ve never heard the stories, would swim in the dams and creeks with no fear. Those Aussie kids fear only spiders and snakes. Me old mates and I knew better.

No one can seem to really agree on what a bunyip looks like exactly. Most reckon they’ve got either four legs or a tail and flippers, kinda like a sea lion. Some say they’ve got tusks. Oi yeah nah, says some other bloke, it’s horns they’ve got, not tusks. I’ve also heard of ‘em puttin’ them to use - horns or tusks or whatever - punching right through some poor sheila’s ribcage. She’d just gone for a swim after dark. Her screams would be lost among the various other screeches heard on a summer’s night. Similar feedin’s seem to pop up every now and then, but bugger me if anyone actually paid any attention to them. Me, I’d stay clear of the water at night, ignorin’ the hungry roars that had become the white noise to put me to sleep. 

Now, back at Elsewhere Uni, I’ve gotten used to the different sounds at night. It’s quieter. Peaceful, actually. ‘Cept for the odd bump in the night. Ah well, that’s just the norm here I guess. But this arvo I’m chatting with a couple of blokes I’ve seen around campus, and they ask me if I’d heard the roars last night. Nah, didn’t hear a thing, I say. Sure woke us right up. Well, what about the screams then? You didn’t hear them? I realise that, yeah you know what, I actually did hear something. Frownin’, I recalled the sudden drowsiness I’d had right before jumpin’ back to attention at the distant cries for mercy. Blow me, I’d heard the roar of a bunyip. It was just so damn familiar that I didn’t pay any attention at all until remembering it just now. It’d been so much of an accepted part of my childhood that I would just bloody fall sleep to that sound.

Someone died. I’m sure of it. Dunno who, but a bunyip ain’t gonna be gentle when it’s hungry. Or pissed. Given how out of place it is, I’m bettin’ on both. I’ve got to do somethin’. Maybe kill it. Has anyone killed a bunyip before? Ever? I’ll have to look that up. I ask the lads if they know anyone else from Australia. They point me in the direction of a woman who looks aboriginal. Calls herself Captain Cook, if you’d believe it. Oh, she’ll be a great help if she’s up for it. 

The boys start callin’ to me as I make my way over to her. Wait, where you going? I pause, twist around to face them with my eyebrows shot up. I’m not just gonna sit on me arse while people are being mauled. Not anymore. I’m done with fallin’ asleep to the sound of murder. I’m in front of the Captain now. From the look on her face she’d heard the convo. She smiles and shakes her head. So, you really wanna have a go at a bloody bunyip, you stupid bugger? I smile back.

Well, I say, I ain’t here to fuck spiders.

x

9

Without You Live Performances: Doyoung ver. 

(Or, this bunny has this blogger wrapped around his little finger that she can’t resist making a content about him) 

(LOOK AT HOW HE ADORABLY MOVES HIS EYEBROWS WHEN HE SINGS)

The Beauty of the Fawn. {Elriel}

Warning: Smut ahead.

Originally posted by heartsnmagic

Saying goodnight to the others, I ducked inside our tent. It was a little bit cramped for an Illyrian, but I didn’t complain. She was lying in the middle of a pile of blankets we pulled from my bed earlier that afternoon, smiling lazily at me as I zipped the hole that served as a door closed. 

“I’ll never get tired of it,” she shook her head, quietly. “I’ll never get tired of the beauty. It surprises me every time.”

It was Feyre’s idea to watch this year’s Starfall out in the woods of Velaris, the Inner Circle alone for the occasion. We sat around the fire until it began, then we all lied next to one another in the grass - Rhysand, Feyre, Cassian, Nesta, Mor, Amren, Elain, myself - and watched the souls pass. No one spoke, but we all held on to one another as we breathed in the beauty, the peace, of Starfall. 

We watched each other for a silent minute before she continued, “I like it out here. It’s peaceful.”

Keep reading

Chris Evans Fic: Is His Six Year Old Planning His Demise?

A bit of dad!Chris to brighten up your Sunday. RDJ makes a cameo appearance in this too.

***

‘Hey daddy?’ Chris heard the sweet, musical voice of his six year old baby girl from the doorway.

He glanced up from his book to see Cassie already making her way across the room, followed by a loyal and dutiful Dodger, to climb on to the sofa next to him, hauling his arm up, bidding him hold it in mid air while she settled against him, tucking herself into his side. When he was certain she was done getting comfortable, he dropped his arm around her, Dodger curling up at her side and resting his head on her feet.

There were very occasional days now when she thought she was getting too old for cuddles and each time, few though they were, was like a stab to his heart. He’d thought he’d be okay, watching her grow up, because he’d seen it all with his niece and nephews. With them, he thought it was really cool, watching them morph into real human beings. But Carly had been right, it was totally different when it was your own, and he just wanted her to stay small and needing him forever.

So he’d stopped making a big deal of cuddles, afraid to draw her attention to it and remind her of this crazy idea that she was too grown up to spend an afternoon wrapped in her dad’s arm. He’d taken to almost ignoring it completely and that’s what he was doing now: going about reading his book as if nothing had happened. That was, until she asked the most out-of-the-blue question possible.

Keep reading

I’m yours (3)

Author Notes

Pairing: Ivar x Reader

Word Count: 7322

Warnings: fairly smutty (at the start), Slight touch of Angst, Argument & Swearing 

Part one & Part two

Originally posted by whenimaunicorn

Tagging: (Do ask if i’ve missed you or you would like tagging) 

@nothingbuthappydays, @sweetvengeancee, @dangerousvikings, @hornyorca, @inthenameofodin, @guardianofthestars25, @sliceofparadise, @ivartrash, @ivars-pet, @more-thaan-words, @synnersaint, @sugakookiexx, @littlepanda-love, @float-autumn-leave, @ivartheboneme, @lordavanti, @tiyetiye,  @xxsophie-raabxx & @holy-minseok

Keep reading

allaroundtheworllld  asked:

Elias Lindholm or Noah Hanifin?

okay. elias is very attractive, this is true. but noah. let me tell you a few things about noah and his lizard mouth.

  • first of all, noah could very easily star in his own porno flick:

(exhibit a)

(exhibit b)

the porno flick would probably get awards too


  • he also has no qualms about getting on his knees [x]:

which i can appreciate  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


  • he likes it crunchy [x]:

wow, this… this is getting very, uhm, sexual. i’m sorry, i’m gonna try and rein it in a bit.

or not [x]:

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


  • ANYWAY. noah is also very pretty [x]:

this is undisputed, obviously [x].

(this is the point where i had to pause for a minute so i could collect myself)


  • and he doesn’t use a whole lot of facial expressions, but when he does, it’s like the skies open and the angels start to sing (well shit, this is now also getting overly poetic) [x]:


  • and he has this tattoo, which - i don’t really know, my train of thought got unexpectedly sidetracked as i was uploading this pic:


  • and lets not forget about that accent:

(i swear, him saying “what’d mcdavid get for skating?” will haunt me till the day i leave this cruel planet இ_இ )


  • and he would sing “beautiful day” by u2 if he could:

ಥ‿ಥ


noah - he’s just a lot okay?!


have i made my case yet, or has all this mental anguish that these gifs put me through been for nothing… 

*send me two hockey players and i’ll say which i think is hotter*

We could make a religion out of this....

hi.

you’re on a rock floating in space.

pretty cool, huh?

some of it’s water.

fuck it, actually most of it’s water.

i can’t even get from here to there without buying a boat.

it’s sad.

i’m sad.

i miss you.

how did this happen?

a long time ago, actually never, and also now, nothing is nowhere.

when?

never.

makes sense, right?

like i said, it didn’t happen.

nothing was never anywhere.

that’s why it’s been everywhere.

it’s been so everywhere you don’t need a where.

you don’t even need a when.

that’s how every it gets.

forget this.

i wanna be something.

go somewhere.

do something.

i want things to change.

i want to invent time and space.

and i know it’s possible because everything is here and it probably already happened.

i just don’t know when to start.

and that’s exactly where it started.

whoah, i paused it.

i think there’s a universe now.

what’s it made of?

quarks & stuff

ah, that’s a thing.

in a place.

don’t like it?

try a new place.

at a different time™.

try to stick together, because the world is gonna get bigger.

and emptier.

but it’s not empty yet.

it’s still very full, and about a kjghpillion degrees.

great news!

the quarks are now happily married, in groups of three called a proton or a neutron

and there’s something else flying around too that wants to join in but can’t cause it’s still too

HOT

great news!

the protons and neutrons are now happily married to each other.

and some of them even doubled up.

great news, the electrons have now joined in

congratulations, the world is now a bunch of gas in space.

but it’s getting closer together.

and it’s getting closer together.

and it’s getting closer toge-

it’s a star

new shit just got made!

some stars burn out and die.

bigger stars burn out and die with passion, and make some brand new, way crazier shit.

space dust

which allows newer, more interesting stars to be made, and then die, and explode into

even crazier space dust

so now stars have cool stuff around them, like rocks, ice, and funny clouds, which can make some very interesting things.

like this ball of flaming rocks for example.

holy shit, we just got hit with another ball of flaming rocks.

and it kind of made a mess.

which is

now the moon

weather update:

it’s raining rocks from outer space.

weather update:

those rocks might have had water inside them, and now there’s hot steam in the sky.

weather update:

cooler temperatures today, and the floor is no longer lava.

weather update:

it’s raining.

severe flooding alert:

the entire world is now an ocean.

volcano alert:

that’s land!

there’slifeintheocean

what?

something’s alive in the ocean

oh cool, like a plant or an animal?

no, a microscopic speck.

it lives at the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup, which is being served hot and fresh, made from gnarly space ingredients left over from when it was raining rocks or whatever.

oh yeah, and it can do that.

it has secret instructions written inside itself telling it how to build another one of itself.

so that’s pretty nifty, i would say.

tired of living at the bottom of the ocean?

now you can eat sunlight!

using a revolutionary technique, you can convert sunlight into food

taste the sun

side effect: now there’s oxygen everywhere and the sky’s blue.

then the earth might have been a snowball for a while, maybe even a couple of times.

it’s a sponge.

it’s a plant.

it’s a worm, and some other types of weird strange water bugs and strange fish.

it’s the Cambrian explosion

“wow, that’s animals and stuff”

but we’re still in the ocean, hey, can we go on land?

no

why?

the sun is a deadly lazer

oh okay.

not anymore, there’s a blanket

now the animals can go on land.

come on, animals, let’s go on land!

nope, can’t walk yet.

and there’s no food yet, so i don’t care.

ok, will you learn to walk if there’s plants up here?

maybe, said some bugs, and fish.

ok, so i can go on land, but i have to go back in the water to

have babies

learn to use an egg.

i was already doing that.

use a stronger egg.

put water in it.

have a baby, on land, in an egg.

water is in the egg.

baby, in the egg, in the water, in the egg.

works for me.

bye bye ocean

and now everything’s huge.

including bugs.

wanna see a map of the land?

sure.

oh fuck, now everything’s dead.

just kidding, here are the survivors.

keep your eye on this one because it’s about to become the dinosaurs.

here’s another map of the land.

yeah, it broke apart, don’t worry about it, it does that all the time.

here comes a meteor.

and the dinosaurs are gone

it’s mammal time, here come the mammals.

look at those breasts.

now they’re gonna dominate the world and one of them just learned how to grab stuff.

and walk.

no, like, walk like that.

and grab stuff at the same time.

and bang rocks together to make pointed rocks.

“ouch”

and set things on fire.

“yeouch”

and make crazy sounds with their voice.

“gneurshk”

which can mean different things.

that’s a human person

and now they’re everywhere.

almost.

ice age

what, you can walk over here?

cool.

not anymore

well i guess we’re stuck here now.

let’s review.

there’s people on the planet.

and they’re chasing their food.

fuck it, time to plant some grass.

look at this.

i control the food now.

now everyone will want to be my friend and live near me.

let’s all build houses except mine is bigger because i own the food.

this is great, i wonder if anyone else is doing this.

tired of using rocks for everything?

use metal.

it’s underground.

better farming was just invented, in a sweet dank valley right in between these two rivers.

and the animals are helping.

guess what happens next

more food.

and more people who came to buy the food.

now you need people to help make the food and keep track of the sales.

and now you need houses for people to live in and people to make the houses, and now there’s more people and they invent things, which makes things better and more people come and there’s more farming and more people to make more things for more people and now there’s business, money, writing, laws, power.

Society

coming soon to a dank river valley near you.

meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, the horse is probably being tamed.

why is all my metal so lame and lumpy?

tired of using lame, sad metal?

introducing

Bronze

made with special ingredient tin from the far lands of tin land.

i don’t know, my dealer won’t tell me where he gets it.

also, guess what?

egypt

meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, they figured out how to put wheels on a horse.

now we’re getting somewhere.

also

china

and did i mention

indus river valley civilization

norte chico

the middle east is getting more complicated, maybe because it’s in the middle of the east.

knock knock, er, clop clop.

it’s the people with the horses.

and they made an empire.

and then everyone else copied their horses.

greeks

ah look, it must be the greeks, er, a beta version of the greeks.

let’s check in with the indus river valley civilization.

they’re gone.

guess who’s not gone?

china

new arrivals in india, maybe it’s those horse people i was talking about, or their cousins or something

and they wrote some hymns and mantras and stuff

you could make a religion out of this.

there’s the bronze age collapse.

now the phoenicians can get down to business

also, can we switch to a metal that’s a little easier to find?

thanks.

look who came back to israel, it’s the twelve tribes of israel.

and they believe in God

just 1 though, he’s got like a ten step program.

here’s some huge heads.

must be the olmecs.

the phoenicians make some colonies.

the greeks copy their idea and make some colonies.

the phoenicians made a colony so big it makes colonies.

here comes the assyrian empire.

never mind, it’s the babylonian- median-

it’s the Persian Empire

“wow, that’s big”

ah, the buddha was just enlightened.

who’s the buddha?

this guy, who sat under a tree for so long that he figured out how to ignore the fact that we’re all dying.

you could make a religion out of this.

oops, china just broke, but while it was breaking, confucius was figuring out how to have good morals.

ah, the greeks just had the idea of thinking about stuff.

and right over here, alexander just had the idea of conquering the entire persian empire.

it’s a great idea.

he was great.

and now he’s dead.

hopefully the rest of the gang will be able to share the empire evenly between them.

knock knock, it’s chandragupta, he says get the hell out of here.

will you get the hell out of here if i give you 500 elephants?

ok thanks, bye

time to conquer all of india

or

most of india

but what about this part?

that’s the tamil kings, no one conquers the tamil kings.

who are the tamil kings?

merchants, probably

and they’ve got spices

who would like to buy the spices?

me, said the arabians, swiftly buying it and selling it to the rest of the world.

hey, china put itself back together again, with good morals as their main philosophy.

actually, they have three main philosophies.

out here, the horse nomads run wild and free, and they would like to ransack your city.

let’s check the greekification levels of the greekified kingdoms.

greekification overload!

bye, said the parthians.

bye, said the jews.

hi, said the parthians, taking over the entire place.

heyyyyyyyy, said the romans, eating the entire mediterranean for breakfast.

thanks for invading our homeland, said the jews, who were starting to get tired of people invading their homeland.

hi, everything’s great, said some guy who seems to be getting very popular and is then arrested and killed for being too popular, which only makes him more popular.

you could make a religion out of this.

want silk?

now you can buy it from china.

they just made a

brand new road to the world

or you can

get there on water

sick! new trade routes! said india, accidentally spreading their religion to the entire southeast.

hmm, that’s a good place for an epic trading kingdom.

there goes buddhism traveling up the silk road.

i wonder if it’ll reach china before it collapses again.

remember the persian empire?

yep, said the persians, making a new one.

axum is getting so powerful they would like to build a long stick.

has anyone populated madagascar yet?

let’s do it together.

china is whole again

then it broke again

still can’t cross the sahara desert?

try camels.

hell yeah! now we’ve got business

said the ghana empire, selling lots of gold, and slaves

hi, i live in the roman empire, and i was wondering

is loving jesus legal yet?

no.

actually, ok, sure, said constantine, moving the capital way over here to be closer to his

main rival

don’t worry about rome, it won’t fall.

it’s the golden age of india

there’s the gupta empire, not chandragupta, just gupta.

first name chandra.

the first.

guess who’s in rome?

barbarians

what’s a barbarian?

non-romans, said the romans, being invaded by non-romans.

r.i.p., roman empire, er, actually just half of it, the other half is just fine, but it’s not in rome anymore so let’s give it a new name.

the mayans have figured out the stars

oh and here’s a huge city, population: everyone

the göktürks have taken over the entire eurasian steppe.

great job, göktürks.

how’s india?

broken.

how’s china?

back together

how’s those trading kingdoms?

bigger, and there’s more of them

korea has 3 kingdoms.

japan has a kingdom, it’s the sunrise kingdom.

deep in the arabian desert, on the top of a mountain, the real god whispers in muhammed’s ear.

so he goes down to the cube where everyone worships gods and he tells them their gods are all fake.

and everyone got so mad at him that he had to leave town and go to a different town.

you could make a religion out of this.

and maybe conquer the world as well.

the roman empire is long gone, but somehow the pope is still the pope.

plus there’s

new kingdoms all over europe

i wonder if there’s room for moors.

here’s all the wisdom.

in a house.

it’s the baghdad house of wisdom.

just in time for the

islamic golden age

let’s bring stuff to the coast and sell it, and become the swahili on the swahili coast, said the swahili on the swahili coast.

remember this tiny space you have to go through to get from here to there?

someone owns that now.

wanna get enlightened in the middle of nowhere?

the franks have the biggest kingdom in europe, and the pope is so proud that he invites the king over for christmas.

surprise! you’re the new roman emperor, said the pope, pretending to still be part of the roman empire.

then the franks broke their kingdom into what will later be called france and not france.

but the northerners, or just norse if you don’t have much time, are exploring.

they go north, from the north to the northern north.

and they find some land.

two types of land.

and they name them accordingly.

they also invade some other places, and get called many names, such as vikings.

there’s the rus.

the kievan rus.

are they vikings?

i don’t think so, said the kievan rus.

ok, fair enough.

the pope is ready to make some more emperors.

of the “roman empire”.

the holy roman empire.

it’s actually germany but don’t worry about it.

new kingdoms.

christianize all the kingdoms

which brand would you like?

mine’s better.

mine’s better.

mine’s better.

time to conquer england, said william.

it’s a bird, it’s a plane

it’s the seljuk turks

aah! said the byzantine empire who’s getting so small and almost doesn’t exist anymore.

we need help!

they need help, so they call the pope.

hey pope, can you help us get rid of the seljuks?

maybe take back the holy land on the way?

come on, i know you want to take back the holy land.

yes, i do actually want to do that.

let’s do a crusade.

crusade

they did many crusades, some of which almost didn’t fail.

but at least the italians got some sweet trade deals.

goodbye mayans.

hello toltecs

goodbye toltecs.

hello mississippi

look at those mounds.

there’s the pueblo.

i always wondered how to build a town in a cliff.

guess who’s here?

khmer.

where?

here.

and pagan is there.

vietnam unconquered itself, korea just became itself, and japan is so addicted to art that the military might have to take over the government.

china just invented bombs, and typing.

and the mongols just invaded most of the universe.

nice going, Genghis!

i bet that will last a long time.

some of the islamic turks were unaffected by the mongol invasions because they were busy invading india.

is it tonga time?

i think it’s tonga time.

i just found out where the swahili gets all their gold.

look at this chad.

means “lake”.

there’s an empire there.

right in the middle of

Africa

the king of mali is so rich he’s going on tour to let everyone know.

wow, that guy’s rich, everyone said.

the christians are doing a great job reconquering iberia, which will soon be called spain and not spain.

please remain christian.

we will check in later to see if you’re still christian when you least expect.

whoops, half of europe just died.

ming

china’s back, yay!

hey khmer, time to share.

new kingdoms here and there.

oh, look who controls all the islands.

it’s the mahajapit.

majahapit.

mapajahit.

mahapajit.

mapajahit.

majapahit?

oh, italy’s really rich, time for them to care a lot about art and the ancient classics.

it’s kinda like a rebirth.

here’s a printer.

let’s make books.

so you think you can conquer the byzantine empire?

yep, said the ottoman turks.

nice job, ottoman turks.

whoops, you missed a spot.

don’t forget to ban europe from the indian spice trade.

what? that’s bullshit, said portugal, spiceless.

well i guess we’ll have to find another way to india

wait! said christopher columbus, probably smoking crack.

if the world is round, let’s go this way to india.

nah, don’t worry, we already got this, said portugal.

so chris goes to spain.

hey spain, wanna hire me to find india by going around back of the world?

no.

please?

no.

please?

no.

please?

ok.

so he sails into the ocean.

and discovers more ocean.

and then discovers the indies.

and japan.

let’s draw a line to decide who gets which half of the world.

the aztec and inca empires are off to a great start.

i wonder if they know that europe just discovered their continent?

the habsburgs are marrying into so many royal families they might have to start marrying each other.

move over lithuania, here comes moscow.

ivan wants to make russia great again.

move over timurids, maybe go invade india or something.

persia just made persia persian again.

let’s make it the other kind of islam.

the one where we thought the first guy should have been the other guy.

hey christians!

do you sin?

now you can buy your way out of hell.

that’s bullshit.

this whole thing is bullshit.

that’s a scam.

fuck the church.

here’s 95 reasons why, said martin luther, in his new book, which might have accidentally started the protestant reformation.

you know what would be magnificent, said suleiman, wearing an onion hat?

what if the ottoman empire was really big?

which it is now.

what if russia was big? said ivan, trying not to be terrible.

portugal had a dream that they controlled the entire indian ocean, including the spice trade.

and then that dream was real.

and spain realized that this is not india, but they pillaged it anyway.

damn, said england and france.

we gotta start pillaging some stuff.

then the dutch revolt and all the hipsters move to amsterdam.

damn, said amsterdam.

we gotta start pillaging some stuff.

question 1: can you get to india through north america?

no, but at least there’s beaver.

question 2: steal the spice trade.

that’s not a question, but the dutch did it anyway.

sugar

guess where all the sugar’s made?

in brazil.

stolen

and the caribbean.

and it’s so god damn profitable you might forget to not do slavery.

the next thing on russia’s to-do list is to get bigger.

britain and france are having a friendly discussion about who should control the entire world.

more specifically, ohio.

then it escalates into a seven year discussion, giving prussia a chance to show austria who’s boss.

but what about britain and france, did they figure out who’s boss?

yes they did.

it’s britain.

guess who’s broke?

also britain.

so they start taxing the hell out of america.

fuck you, says america, declaring their independence, and fighting for it.

and france helps them win, now france is broke.

and britain’ll have to send their prisoners to a different continent.

wait, if france is broke, why do the king and queen still wear such fancy dresses?

let’s overthrow the palace and cut all their heads off! said robespierre, cutting everybody’s head off until someone eventually got mad and cut his head off.

you could make a reli- no, don’t.

haiti is staring to like the idea of a revolution.

especially the slaves, who free themselves by killing their masters.

why didn’t we think of this before?

wait, who’s in charge of france now?

me

said napoleon, trying to take over europe.

luckily, they banished him to an island.

but he came back

luckily, they banished him to another island.

there goes latin america, becoming independent in the latin american wars of independence.

britain just figured out how to turn steam into power.

so now they can make

many different types of machines and factories with machines in them so they can make a lot of products real fast

then they invent some trains.

and conquer india and maybe put some trains there.

hey, china! said britain.

buy stuff from us!

nah dude, we already got everything, says china.

so britain tried to get them addicted to opium.

which worked, actually.

but then china made it illegal and dumped it all into the sea.

so britain threw a hissy fit, and made them open up five cities and give them an island.

britain and russia are playing a game where they try to stop each other from conquering afghanistan.

also, the

sultan of oman lives in zanzibar now

“that’s just where he lives”

india just had a revolution, and they would like to govern themselves now.

nope, said britain, governing them even harder than before.

technology is about to go crazy

the united states finally figured out whether slavery is good or bad.

it’s bad, they decided.

and then they continued manifesting their destiny, which is to kill the rest of the natives and take their land and maybe kick out the mexicans too.

i know, let’s rape africa, said europe, scrambling to see who could rape it the fastest.

theynevergotethiopia

britain and france are still hungry.

theynevergotthailand

the united states ran out of destiny to manifest, so they’re looking for more.

hawaii

cuba

wait, spain controls cuba.

well, blame something on them and go to war!

what should we blame on spain?

let’s blame the maine on spain.

so they blame the maine on spain.

now we’re in business.

to celebrate, they kick panama out of panama and make a canal, connecting the two oceans.

britain just found oil in the middle east.

itmakescarsgo

china is so tired of being bossed around that they delete their old government and make a new, stronger government, which is accidentally weaker and controlled by a guy from the previous government.

europe hasn’t had a war since the last war.

so they start world war 1.

look at those guns.

it’s gonna be a great war.

so great we won’t need a second one.

after it’s over, they blame germany.

russia went on strike and the workers overthrew the government.

now everyone’s paycheck is the same.

communism

in the soviet union

the arabs revolt and britain helps.

now the ottoman empire’s gone so we can give the

jewish people a place to live

hopefully the arabs won’t mind.

let’s cut the cake, said sykes and picot, carving up the remains of the not-so-ottoman-anymore empire.

except turkey, turkey makes a brand new turkey

and then the saudis conquer arabia.

it just seemed like the right thing to do.

hello?

yes, it’s the 1920’s calling.

let’s get in the car and drive to a party and listen to jazz on the radio and go to the movies.

the economy’s great and it’ll probably be great forever, just kidding.

germany’s back, featuring hitler, the angry mustache model.

and he’s mad at the jews for existing.

japan is finally conquering the east, and they’re so excited they rape nanking way too hard.

they should probably just deny it.

hitler’s out of control.

so the international community tackles him and then tries to explain why killing all the jews is a bad idea.

but he kills himself before they could explain it to him.

that’s world war 2

bonus round!

pacific showdown.

united states vs. japan.

fight!

finish him

let’s unite all the nations and have some

world peace

seems legit.

hi, i’m gandhi, and if britain doesn’t get the hell out of india, i’m gonna starve myself in public.

wow, that worked?

bonus, now there’s pakistan.

actually two pakistans.

one of them can be bangladesh later.

the jews and the arabs finally figured out which one of them should live in the holy land.

me, they both said at the same time.

let’s divide up the land so everyone’s happy.

sike, they both get angrier

look out china, there’s a new china in china.

what’s on the menu?

communism!

no thanks, said the other china, escaping to an island.

i wonder which one is the real china?

there’s the korean war, korea versus korea.

nobody wins, then it’s on pause forever.

let’s meet the sponsors.

oh, it’s the two global superpowers.

they’re having a friendly debate over which economic system is good, and which one is an evil virus of Satan.

and they both have atom bombs.

fight!

wait, no, that would be the end of the world.

let’s just keep it cool and spy on each other instead.

and make sure we have enough atom bombs.

i’ll race you to space.

now let’s make some more countries fight themselves.

europe is tired of pillaging other continents, so the continents they were pillaging are tired of being pillaged.

so here’s a new map, with new countries.

now you can’t tell who they’re being pillaged by.

the united states finally decided whether racism is good or bad.

they decided it’s bad, and the world agrees.

south africa might need another minute to think about it.

let’s check the world population.

whoa.

okay.

technology’s better too, that might keep happening.

the soviet union decides to relax a little, and accidentally falls apart.

europe makes a union, so now they can all use the same money, except britain, because they don’t feel like it.

let’s check the mail.

surprise, it’s on the computer.

whoops, someone just attacked america.

i bet they’ll remember that.

phone call.

surprise, it’s in your pocket.

wanna learn everything?

surprise, it’s on the computer.

now your phone’s a computer, which is in your pocket.

whoops, the economy just crashed.

don’t worry, the big banks won’t fail because they’re not supposed to.

surprise!

flying robots.

with bombs.

wanna print a brain?

some people have no friends.

some people have no food.

the globe is warming

and the ocean is full of plastic

let’s save the planet! said everybody, not knowing how.

let’s invent a thing inventor, said the thing inventor inventor, after being invented by a thing inventor.

that’s pretty cool.

by the way, where the hell are we?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuCn8ux2gbs&t=329s

Stockholm Syndrome

The last thing I remembered was a shadow hanging over me in my bedroom, and material being pressed against my lips before my vision betrayed me.

I don’t know where I am, but I know I’ve been here for days, and the only reason I know that is because of the tiny crack of light I can see through the gap in the blacked out window. It might just be the only thing keeping me sane.

Every now and then she comes through the door on the far side of the room; it’s rare, but she doesn’t speak sometimes, just sits there, smiling.

I talk to her, question her, shout at her and cry. She cradles me and apologises for what she’s done, but proceeds to tell me she doesn’t regret it anywhere in her heart.

“You can’t keep me here,” I protest, pacing the room with the handcuffs digging into my wrists. “People are gonna realise sooner or later.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” she laughs. “You’re here! You have been for a week now, silly.”

“Why are you doing this?” I ask, struggling for the hundredth time against the handcuffs. “This isn’t worth it, whatever you wanna get out of this, it won’t be worth the end result.”

“I’m doing this for you baby-”

“Don’t call me that.”

“But you are my baby, and besides, you can’t do much to stop me.” She grins up at me, a spark of evil swirling in her eyes. 

It feels unusual to sit here tied and incapable of getting away from her; if I saw this woman walking down the street, I’d think she was just a normal woman. She’s beautiful with bright eyes and full cheeks, and she’s always dressed in something fancy.

“I want to look good for you,” she said when I asked her. I didn’t like the idea of her dressing up for me, not when it’s her opinion alone that should matter.

“Why me?” I ask now as she leans against the door,

“Because.” She moves closer to me and my body slams into the wall in attempt to move away. “I love you,” she whispers with such sincerity in her voice that I almost believe her. “I can care for you, be here for you, and make sure no one else comes between us.”

“And you couldn’t say all of this after politely introducing yourself to me? Maybe a year down the line? I don’t appreciate handcuffs,” I hiss and her bright gaze doesn’t vanish like I thought it would.

“That’s a shame, really, it is.” She shakes her head. “I thought they’d come in handy further down the road when you’ve warmed up to the idea of us.” A cheeky smile meets her lips and I can only wonder what kind of crude thoughts are running through her mind.

I stifle a reply, knowing too well that it isn’t worth it. She plays with the end of her dress as she watches me closely and I feel myself shift under her eyes.

“You don’t have to be scared of me, please don’t be-”

“I’m not scared of you, I’m scared for you. Baby, your world is gonna be a shit storm when I get outta here,” I grin and I watch as her smile inches into a pout.

“Who said you’re getting out?” she asks, tilting her head. “You’re never gonna get away, you can’t leave me.”

My heart beats fast. I reassure myself that I’m not going to die here, not in her hold. Although, it’s hard to concentrate when her eyes are burning into the side of my face.

“What’s your name?” I ask, watching her closely. She doesn’t reply but walks towards the door, leaving me colder than I already am.

*****

“I can get you a chair if you want,” she says, leaning her back against the door. “Your legs’ll just give way if you keeping standing like that.”

“Fuck off,” I snap, feeling the fatigue taking over my body.

“That’s not very nice,” she teases, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. I notice earrings dangling free from them. “I may have kidnapped you but I do care about you.”

“Sure,” I laugh, leaning my head against the stone wall.

“I’ll go get you that chair,” she says far too sweetly and rushes out of the door before locking it. I swallow a ‘thank you’ and let the silence take over the room.

I’ve been here so long I don’t attempt to look for a means of escape; I merely sit and wait for the next time I hear the key hitting against the metal before her familiar figure appears in the doorway.

My kneecaps ache and I can be almost certain that next time I bend my legs multiple cracks will vibrate through them. My entire body feels hard done to, if I sit down there’s a high chance I won’t get back up.

The key is inserted and I hear the familiar clicks telling me the door is unlocked and the dread has permission to enter my body. I’m starting to feel like a wild animal, cruelly caged and left merely for entertainment. If I ever get out alive, I’ll never step foot in a zoo again.

She comes in dragging a chair across the floor, the wood screams against the floor and I flinch.

“Here you go,” she mutters, dropping it against the wall in the far corner of the room. “I think you’ll feel safer in the corner.”

“Why would you care if I feel safe? Nothing can make me feel safe here,” I say, frowning at her with daggers.

“How many times do I have to tell you? I care!” she shrieks and motions towards the chair. “Now c'mon, sit.”

“No.”

“Don’t be such a baby, it’s just a chair.” She rolls her eyes and laughs. “Take a seat.”

“No. Fuck you,” I spit, and press my back further into the wall. I feel my eyes stinging with tears.

“Don’t cry,” she whispers, eyebrows furrowed. “Please don’t, it’s okay.”

“Let me go.” I swallow a sob threatening to escape my lips. “I want to go home. If you care so much, you’d want what’s best for me.”

“Just sit down,” she says, bringing the chair closer to me and I inch away. “I’ll leave for now, just rest.”

She gives me another look before leaving the room without another glance. I don’t see her for the rest of the night, or maybe it’s the day. I don’t bother to check through the gap. I collapse onto the hard chair and sigh heavily.

*****

The handcuffs locked around my wrists have created permanent outlines on my skin, marking my tattoos. I attempt to move the steel up and down to let the skin breath but it’s useless.

I ponder on how long it’s been since I’ve done things I used to take for granted. I can’t remember the last time I’ve sat and listened to the sounds of nature, or had my favourite meal, or told the people I love how much they mean to me. I’m suddenly regretting everything I haven’t done.

There’s a knock on the door - a new touch, actually - before the door is unlocked. The woman walks in and smiles at me.

“Morning,” she says.

“Oh, is that what it is?”

“Mhm.” She nods as though she doesn’t understand my sarcasm, that or she’s choosing to ignore it. “How are you?”

“I’m alright, thanks. Just a little tied up but it’s all great.”

“You’re very sarcastic,” she points out. I hold back yet another comment.

“I’m hungry.”

“Oh, of course, silly me. I’ll be back with something!” She hurriedly makes her way out of the door and I realise how stupid that move would be if stating I’m hungry was my way of attempting an escape, but I have nothing, not even energy.

My stomach growls at me, but I don’t get excited at the idea of food being on its way due to the fact that the only food I’ve been getting so far is buttered bread and water, forced down my throat each morning, and night if I’m lucky.

Waiting, I’m neither patient nor impatient; I simply don’t care. I tap my heel against the leg of the chair and enjoy the thumping sound.

She takes longer than usual, and when she comes back I realise why. My stomach lets out a moan rather than a growl when I see the stack of pancakes piled high. I’m sure the reason she smirks is because she sees the immense hunger that’s probably smeared across my face like permanent ink.

“I thought I’d do you something special today.” She uses the heel of her foot to close the door before moving over to me. I don’t bother looking at her as I see all the food on the tray. To my disappointment, she puts it on the floor so she can grab the chair that sits in the other corner, pulling it up in front of me. I only pay slight attention to this because my mind is settled elsewhere.

I watch as she cuts the food up and I close my mouth tight to stop myself for drooling. My leg is bouncing up and down with excitement. I feel the hunger pains deep in my stomach.

“Open up,” she whispers, bringing a fork to my mouth. I don’t hesitate to meet her halfway, and definitely don’t hold back my moans as I chew.

“Fuck,” I whisper. “They’re good.”

She giggles. “I’m glad you like them. I’ve always been a little self-conscious about my cooking skills.”

“Don’t be. They remind me of back home, I used to live on pancakes when I was younger. Gimme more,” I mutter, opening my mouth as she feeds me.

I see her watching me intently as I eat, and there’s something deep in her eyes that I keep an eye on. Every so often, there’s pauses where I swallow and wait for more. Eventually, she knows to have the next forkful ready.

But it comes to an end, and before I know it, she’s putting the plate back on the floor but staying in her chair.

“Did you enjoy that?” she asks, eyes searching my face. I nod, licking my lips. “I’m glad.”

There’s a silence while she looks at me as though she’s searching for something. I chance a quick glance at her before staring at the ground or my lap.

“You’re very beautiful,” she murmurs, playing with her fingers.

“It’s a shame my beauty is being wasted in here then, isn’t it?”

“It’s not wasted, I appreciate it every day.” She smiles.

“Oh, that’s okay then.” I roll my eyes. “Can you at least take these handcuffs off?”

“Nope,” she says, popping her 'p’. “I think they suit you.”

“You’re insane.” I scoff.

She flinches, looking as though I slapped her across the face or at least raised a hand to do so. “This is for your own good,” she mumbles; I only just catch what she says.

“Y'know, you keep saying that but so far, I’m not seeing how it is.”

“The world is a horrible place. It’s so, so cruel and harmful.”

“I know that.”

“Then you should realise that I’m protecting you. You should appreciate that.”

“You’re not protecting me, you’re imprisoning me. Don’t you see that?” I ask, watching her closely. Her eyes are bright, even in the darkness of the room.

She exhales softly. “I understand why, why it would be seen like that. But I’m keeping you here because I love you! I don’t want anyone else to have you, you shouldn’t live in fear out in the world where there’s such cruelty,” she exclaims, throwing her hands in the air. I watch her and lean my head back against the wall.

*****

Her name is [Y/N]. I think she eventually grew the confidence to tell me. It suits her.

*****

My emotions are bottled up inside of me, choking me. I can’t breathe. [Y/N] talks to me and all I want to do is scream at her until my voice can’t take it anymore.

“Can I get you anything?” she asks, sitting crosslegged on the chair opposite me at the other side of the room. I appreciate the fact she doesn’t come closer.

“Leave me alone.”

“Justin…”

“Go away, I can’t stand the sight of you. I hate you,” I spit.

I feel dirty and broken. I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt hot water running through my hair and down my back, or soap cleansing my skin. I’ve noticed my skin has a grey tint now.

“Don’t say that-”

“Oh yeah? Why shouldn’t I? Please, enlighten me!” I shout, glaring at her. She looks as though she’s seconds from crying.

“You don’t hate me.”

“Oh but I do, I really do,” I respond instantly, hesitating when I see a tear rolling down her cheek. “I hate how you pretend to care and how you’re constantly watching me, and how you feed me just to keep me alive. If this is the rest of my life, fucking kill me now.”

“You’re just angry. I’ll leave you alone for a little bit, maybe we need space.” She was far too calm.

Throughout the next week, the only time I saw her was when she pushed a tray of food through the door before locking it. If I wanted to eat I had to get on my handcuffed hands, and knees, and eat like a dog. She didn’t sit and talk, and I felt more alone than ever.

*****

“Morning,” she whispers, closing the door behind her for the first time in a while, she’s holding a tray in her hands. “How are you?”

The room is cold but the gaze she gives me is far from it. I keep my mouth closed. She sighs. 

“I’m sorry that you’re having such a hard time accepting this, but I won’t apologise for it. I don’t regret it. I’m still so glad I went along with this. I’ve never been so happy.” 

I want to shout at her, hurt her in any way possible, make her feel how I’m feeling. However, I keep quiet, biting the inside of my cheek. 

Another sigh falls into the air and she places the tray in my lap before turning to leave. Not another word is said.

*****

The food quality has slowly improved since the beginning, even if it is cold by the time it arrives sometimes. My stomach doesn’t hurt as much as it used to.

I miss variety and choice, but I decide that while I’m here, I can’t afford to be picky.

*****

[Y/N] sits with me while I eat now - I’m struggling but just managing to eat with handcuffs, even if both my hands have to raise so I can use a fork - just watching me, sometimes making conversation. I don’t mind when she does because my mind is mainly focused on the food.

“Favourite animal?” she asks, picking a piece of bread of my plate.

I shrug. “I don’t know, it’s not something I sit and think about, despite how much time I have to waste.” Fries are shoved into my mouth as I forget to give myself time to breathe. “You?”

“I wanna say an animal really majestic and powerful but honestly, it’s probably frogs.”

I raise an eyebrow, smirking slightly.

“What?! They’re cute,” she protests.

I ignore her as I take a bite of the burger, trying to savour it.

“Favourite colour?”

“What are these questions? What, are we five years old now?”

“I’m just curious,” she argues.

I pause to think about it. “I like the colour of your eyes.”

At this, her cheeks flourish. “Really?”

I nod, swallowing the last bite, already wanting more.

“I like yours too, I always loved caramel.”

There’s a brief moment where our eyes meet at the exact same time; she looks eager. Her face is young and bright, and for the first time I notice the natural and subtle marks on her skin.

“I’ve got to go,” she says, taking the plate that sits on my lap.

“Don’t go.” I speak before I can think about what I’m saying and I can tell it surprises [Y/N] as much as it does me.

“It’s almost midnight-”

“So? I don’t have anywhere to be,” I somehow manage to joke. She smiles, making her eyes shine.

*****

“I thought I had goals, I thought I had potential and drive to really do something. I don’t know what happened,” she confesses, sitting across from me on the floor. “I think when you’re younger, you kinda think anything is possible.”

“I know I definitely had bigger dreams as a kid, so I get that,” I say, locking my fingers together.

“But you still seem like you have something left in you, like there’s still something you’re aiming for. How do you still have that?”

I find it ironic that she’s asking me this, being the person who’s taken it all away from me. I don’t say anything about it however.

“I just remind myself that life is worth living. There’s always going to be something you can do that can give you faith and a meaning, a purpose.” I shrug. “It sounds a little corny but it’s how I see it.”

“No, I like that. I feel like you get me.”

She reaches across and takes my hand; it was a dangerous move. I think about throwing it back but something deep inside me doesn’t allow it. I grip it instead. I run my thumb across the top and discover the pure softness of her skin.

She smiles but tries to pry her hand away. “I really have to go Justin, but I’ll be back tomorrow. You know that.”

“Yeah, I do.”

The floor is cold when she leaves, but I press my back against it while trying to sleep. If my spine could scream, I knew it would.

The next evening, [Y/N] comes through the door holding a bag in her hand. I itch to know the contents.

“Hey, sorry I didn’t come see you this morning. I know you’re probably hungry, I’ll go and get you something soon.”

I don’t say anything but my stomach gives a low rumble a few seconds later.

“I, uh, I got you something today. I thought you could do with to have a new one.” The bag rustled as she pulled out what I eventually realised was a black sweater. “I know you probably get quite cold in here.”

I get lonely, too.

“I can put it on you, if-if you want.”

“Please,” I mutter. I can feel the goosebumps on my skin.

“You have to promise not to try anything though,” she says as she locks the door. “Obviously, I’m gonna have to take the handcuffs off.”

“Just do it.”

“Promise?”

“Mhm.”

[Y/N] looks hesitant as she grabs a key from her back pocket before taking a hold of my arm. A shiver trickles through my body at the contact and I suddenly can’t wait for her to be putting them back on. Once they’re off, I moan softly.

She’s grabbing the end of my shirt and it startles me, I flinch away.

“No, no, I’m gonna get it washed for you. You can wear this for now and then you can put the shirt on underneath when it’s clean.”

The shirt comes over my head and I notice she pauses, taking in all of my tattoos, or my chest, or maybe both. I watch her lick her lips and my body stiffens. It’s been a while.

Despite how much I wished she’d touch me, she just grabs the sweater and pulls it over my head, letting me put my arms through. I already feel warmer as it hugs my skin.

[Y/N] rolls up the sleeves slightly and wraps the metal around my wrists once again. I like her fingers brushing on my skin but despise the tightness of the handcuffs.

“It suits you.”

“Like the handcuffs do?”

A shy smile sits on her lips and she nods.

“How have you been today?” she asks while folding up the plastic bag, maybe to distract herself.

“Lonely.”

A flash of emotion crosses her face and maybe she thinks I don’t notice it, but I do. I have an inkling it could be guilt because she reaches out and runs a hand through my hair and I fall into it, letting my eyes fall shut.

“Do you want a hug?” she whispers hesitantly.

“N-no.”

But she hugs me and I don’t make any attempt to push her away. Her body passes warmth through to my own and for the first time in so long, I don’t feel so alone.

*****

(Months Later)

[Y/N] trails a hand down my arm as I lay between her legs. Her other hand is playing with my hair. I use her for comfort, I tell myself. It’s been this way every day since the first time she wrapped her arms around me. I can feel myself getting used to being held by her.

“Do you want me to leave, or do you want to try and sleep?” she asks, never stopping her movements while gazing down at me.

“I don’t know who I am,” I say, holding her hand. I look up and see the mesmerising sight of her eyes boring into my own. “I’ve always wanted to be free, I’ve spent so long wanting to get away, why am I changing my mind? This is dangerous baby,“ I whisper, only using half of my energy to speak.

"What is?”

“This. You shouldn’t be doing this. I’ll never leave if you keep holding me this way. I don’t think I want to be anywhere else and that in itself is bad.”

“I think that’s a good thing. I don’t want you to leave-”

"It’s not, it’s really not,” I say. “Look what you’ve done to me. They’ll be coming to find me soon, if they’re not already. You’ve got me, you’ve tied me down and I want to be angry but-”

"Sshh, there’s no one here to tell you it’s wrong. You’re overthinking. You’ve known from the start that I care about you, I’d never let anything hurt you. I promise.”

I fall deeper into her, feeling all of my worries and cares drift away as I do. Together we’re alone and I know that I won’t let anyone hurt her either; not my family, not my friends, and definitely not the police. The last thing I remember is her adoring smile as I drift into a deep sleep.

lee daehwi as your soulmate

imagine having daehwi as ur soulmate where u have the date u meet written on ur wrist

(as requested!)

  • ur soulmate clue isnt really visible for awhile just bc ure like. a tiny kid for the first majority of ur life lol
  • for awhile u just have a smudge of ink on ur wrist so,,, u dont rlly have a choice but to let it be
  • ANYWAYS
  • once u start to get older, the markings on ur wrist start to become more and more clear

Keep reading

I hate the gym on Mondays cause it’s like everyone is “getting back on track” but by Friday they’re all gone 😒 this is why your getting a sweaty selfie from the car 😅
Today I thought I would try some high intensity interval training (HIIT) just to shake things up. I enjoyed it, but I realized something during this. I’ve been lacking on training the one muscle that matters most - my heart! There was a point where I had to pause and sit down cause it felt like I was going to faint. 🙈 but I didn’t, I got back up and finished like a boss 💪 definitely going to keep doing HIITs though!
Do you like HIITS? Send me your favourite or tag me in stuff! I’d love to see/try them 💕