this-is-where-I-poop

Lipstick and Leather: The Four Seasons Con Artist AU

It’s a fairly regular process for a Saturday night sucker.

The perky brunette has a signature finger-in-mouth puppy-dog-eyes hair-twirling look that immediately gets nearly every guy in the joint asking “Can I help you with something, Sweetheart?”  A little giggle, some small talk about how she’s never been to a place like this before.  When she starts walking her fingers flirtatiously up your arm, you’re done for.  Don’t bother checking your pants pocket, your wallet won’t be there.  The tanned leather is already twirling between the fingers of that innocent little pixie-cut brunette.

Keep reading

What do I do for a living?

I live for a living. When I moved out in the forest 35 years ago, people said “You can’t escape reality.” I went TO reality. You’re living in a virtual reality. You don’t even know where your stuff comes from, don’t even know where your poop goes.

I live in nature where everything is connected, circular. The seasons are circular. The planet is circular…Do people live in circles today? No. They live in boxes.

They wake up every morning in a box of their bedrooms because a box next to them started making beeping noises to tell them it was time to get up. They eat their breakfast out of a box and then they throw that box away into another box.

Then they leave the box where they live and get into another box with wheels and drive to work, which is just another big box broken into little cubicle boxes where a bunch of people spend their days sitting and staring at the computer boxes in front of them.

When the day is over, everyone gets into the box with wheels again and goes home to the house boxes and spends the evening staring at the television boxes for entertainment.

They get their music from a box, they get their food from a box, they keep their clothing in a box, they live their lives in a box.”

-Eustace Conway

I can’t believe it’s almost 2016 and there isn’t a pill I can take that will cause my hair to start growing blue and that If I want to have blue hair I’d have to sit in the room where I poop and smear goo into my hair like an animal.