Just a game pt 4

When a college reunion takes an unusual turn, the reader finds herself amidst a game of truth or dare not knowing that at the declaration of dare would change her life into a spiral of trouble with the mysterious clown that lives in the sewers. Now her thoughts and dreams are haunted by him and she knows he loves to play…

…the reader wants answers after her terrifying encounter with Pennywise. With her friends seemingly forgetting about Pennywise, she decides to take matters into her own hands to get to the bottom of the mystery of Derry’s past. But with her mind focussing on the clown for the wrong reasons, the reader can only hope she can stay focused for long enough before something worse happens….

Woow, I’m like unsure how to feel rn. It’s late for me and I’m dealing with mixed emotions and feeling a little sick. I’ve had a terrible day and it got worse when I lost my story but the show must go on. But hey, I found out I have a big following all of a sudden so thank you so much! Someone asked me to tag them in the future parts so let me know if you want the same.

If you don’t like this content then please scroll on, I am trying to stay out of the main It movie tags.

By 8:30 the morning after, you were already showered (cautiously) and dressed for there was only one thing on your mind; answers. You wanted to know exactly what the hell was up with Pennywise, how long he would be active for until he returned to his long sleep and how many children would disappear until he was satisfied. You hoped to get some answers from the library so that was where you were headed.

None of your friends would be awake until 10am at the earliest, not that you wanted their help. It was confusing how they could forget about Pennywise. That fucked up clown creature that kept on terrorizing you. You’d never felt so humiliated in all your life! It was impossible to forget him, his unnaturally tall body that moved in a freakish way, his unnerving grin and shark-like teeth. And those eyes…they were so wrong on many levels. You hated to think about him because the truth was he scared you! But then your mind would drift to dangerous territory. A place where your darkest desires would try to play. Those lips shouldn’t have felt so soft and pleasing against yours. His weight pinning you down shouldn’t make you feel tingly all over but they did and you hated it. Your mind and body were betraying you and there was nothing you could do about it.

You shook your head slightly and frowned at yourself for thinking so shamefully and continued down the sidewalk, the sounds of the early birds singing in your ears. You wanted to get your research over with so you could be at peace and plan your journey home, never to return to Derry.

The library was mostly the same except for the newer content of books with the recent years and the fact that the old lady who worked there whilst you were younger had now been replaced with a young man with soft brown hair because old age had taken her. He had smiled at you when you’d entered, causing your cheeks to flush and a shy smile to dance across your lips. You made haste for the history isle and began to browse, your eyebrows furrowing together whilst you concentrated.

Ten minutes later, you pulled the book you wanted off the shelf and gasped at the weight of it. The history of Derry was a huge, brown leather bound book with yellowing pages containing everything that had happened since the creation of the town. You carried it to a nearby desk and winced when it slammed down onto the table. Your head whipped round to the young library guy sheepishly, but he simply grinned and waved you off. You relaxed and sat down in the chair at the table and thus your research began. With each turn of the pages, you begun to understand why whenever you had asked your parents about the history of Derry as a child they would avoid the question. The things that had happened were the most horrific events you’d read about in a long time, and these weren’t even the disappearances! And it was true, the major events happened every twenty-seven years, even if your friend wouldn’t be able to remember telling you. A shiver scurried down your spine like a cockroach across a cave floor and you shuddered. This was all too much at once for you but you weren’t finished yet.

Carefully, you closed the large book and carried it back to the shelf it had come from. And then your eyes flicked to the attractive library guy. Hesitantly, you strolled over to him and smiled. He was reading a book of some sort but he paused when he realised you were there. He smiled once more.

“Hello, how may I help you?” He asked.

“I am doing research about Derry, but what I wanna find out about isn’t here as far as I know, unless I’m blind.” You began, cursing at your rambles. The young man chuckled.

“Depends what it is.”

You bit your lip for a moment before you answered him.

“Well…I want to know more about the child disappearances, my friends had told me about them and I was curious to know more.” You said quietly. The smile that had graced the young man faded into something solemn and he placed his book down.

“I see…I did notice you were reading about the crazy shit happening here over time so I guess that I could take you to the archives.” He murmured. You smiled sadly.

“It’s okay if you can’t allow me to see them, I just wanted to find something but-”

“-I’ll take you down any way. This library is technically mine anyway after my grandmother passed so I can allow whatever I see fit.” He cut you off. You nodded and he sighed gently. He stood up from the wooden chair he had been sat on and glanced at you.

“Come on.” He said shortly. You quietly thanked him but he didn’t really respond. He was then walking through a set of doors opposite the entrance and turning right to come to a staircase. You followed him as he began his descent down to the basement, the only sound to be heard being both of your footsteps. The two of you finally reached the bottom floor and came face to face with a set of locked doors with a chain holding the two handles together. The library guy pulled out a decent amount of keys that rattled as he sorted through them to find the one key he wanted. When he found it, He stepped over to the door and was quick to remove the chain and use another key to unlock the double doors. Beyond the now open doors were rows and rows of what were Derry’s archives. The scent of mouldy paper invaded your nostrils strongly and you gagged slightly. The male turned to you.

“This way, I’ll take you to where you should start.” He said.

You followed him down the dimly lit isle until he reached the end. As you passed the shelves you were able to read some of the labels. Each had a letter of the alphabet and a year. You dreaded to think what they were being labelled for. The library guy turned left and continued onwards until you were in the far left corner of the room. He turned to you with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Here. This shelf is where you should start. Each one is labelled with the alphabet for the surname initial and the year they went missing. I’m gonna have to leave you but I’ll give you the key to lock up when you’re done.”

The keys were heavy and cold in your hands as you stuffed them into your pocket.

“Thank you. I won’t be long down here.” You assured him. He nodded and silently headed back to the staircase. You watched him leave until he was completely out of sight and you couldn’t hear his footsteps anymore before you turned back to the shelving. With a sigh, you grabbed the first box and peered inside to begin the research.

Being surrounded by missing children papers and boxes with many more missing children papers was the most emotionally draining thing you’d ever experienced. You’d lost track of time seeing as you had no phone anymore but you were sure you’d been more than an hour down there so it was about time you packed everything away and to be left with your thoughts. There was no real pattern with the amount of missing children except that a lot would disappear over the year or two that the clown was active. You sighed and stretched your arms out in front of you to try ease the ache in your back from sitting on the floor hunched over for long periods of time. Your back popped a little, a little bit of tension being eased and you groaned. It took a short while to replace all the records back into their designated boxes and then carry each one back to the correct shelves. Your body was aching again when you’d completed the task and you wanted nothing more than to relax on the motel bed.


Your body tensed. You slowly turned to the far wall of the room to see if a box had fallen off one of the shelves but nothing was out of place. Slowly, you turned the opposite direction and a small scream escaped your open mouth and your hand flew to your chest.

“You scared me!” You cried.

It was the library guy. He grinned a little wider than he had before.

“Sorry, you had been a while so I came to see if you were alright.”

You chuckled breathlessly and ran your hands through your hair.

“I’m sorry, I lost my phone the other day so I wasn’t able to keep track of time. Luckily, I’m finished up now.”

His head tilted slightly to the left and his grin seemed to widen.

“Oh, you mean this phone?” He asked sweetly and your body froze. Your eyes drifted down to his outstretched hand and you almost choked. In his hand was none other than your phone. You knew it was yours because it had the exact same shaped crack on the screen. You stepped away.

“No…” you whispered. That was impossible. Your eyes checked his and you gasped. They were amber tinged with red. “No!” You stumbled backwards. He no longer had the appearance of the library guy anymore, no, he was transforming before your eyes. His height growing and features changing. The soft brown hair was now long and fiery orange, his skin now the crackly white paint with the red slashes across the eyes meeting up with the corner of his now red painted lips. His nose was red and much different to the library guys and his clothing was now the grey, old fashioned suit. He giggled.

“Hello again (y/n).”

You squeaked and stepped away from him, conscious that you were reaching the end of the isle. He followed by lunging forward, closing the gap between you both. You could have cried when your back met the shelves behind you for now you were trapped. Even if you’d had a plan to somehow get away it was hopeless now when you felt his hand grasp your throat, the other pinning your wrists above your head and his knee press against your groin to keep you where you stood. You whimpered.

“Why are you doing this?” You managed to ask. He chuckled and his lips brushed against your neck.

“You’re so fun to play with, those kisses were almost as pleasurable as your scent when it’s got fear mixed in too.” To emphasize, he inhaled deeply and a gravelly sound vibrated in his throat. Your chest was heaving again as you breathed shallowly.

“J-just eat me!” You cried and he laughed again, a gruff sound that contradicted his usual high pitched squeak.

“I would have done but I crave more before I do that…so much more.” His lips trailed to your ear. “Kiss me again, I can sense you want it too.” He whispered. You shivered. He was right. But even so, you shook your head.


“Kiss me…” He whispered with firmness. His knee pressed further into your groin causing a friction that tingled through your nervous system. Fear and adrenaline had sent your body into overdrive so every touch was like overstimulation. Your eyelids fluttered as you felt his soft lips brush against yours.


He smirked briefly and then he kissed you properly, his lips perfectly fitting to yours. Inside your head you were screaming at yourself to stop this, to try pushing him away, but the instinctive part of you overruled and had you kiss back, your body heating up and the tingle to spread to your lower abdomen. Automatically, your hips began to grind against his knee, the action creating a delicious friction that you never wanted to end. But Pennywise wasn’t about giving you what you wanted. He pulled away from the kiss and the knee was gone. You whined pathetically and he giggled.

“Awww, you didn’t get what you wanted. What a shame.” He mocked. Your mind had taken back control and your cheeks flushed with shame for losing self control around him.

“Fuck you.” You whimpered. The hand around your throat was gone and instead he used it to stroke your jaw.

“Shhhh…” He hushed. Your eyes fluttered shut briefly but flung open when you realised your wrists were no longer held in place. He was gone, the only thing to assure you that he had really been there was your swollen lips and your phone in your hands. Gripping onto your scalp, you slowly slid down the shelving until your butt met the ground. You were so exhausted and ashamed with yourself. You’d let your guard down and now you knew he had you where he wanted you to be. You were fucked.

Wow okay I don’t know if this is any good. I only really like the end but then again it still seems off. I hope people like this, there’s definitely smut coming lmao. Thanks for reading and sorry it took so long to get this done.

Tagged people: @perfect-ginger-maniac

one of my favorite things about Iida is that he is the serious rich kid with strong morals and such

but he’s not… stuck up about it?

like, yes. he was introduced to the audience as this really super serious person who seemed a little bit too uptight

but in reality….

he’s not like that at all? 

Uraraka wants to become a hero to get rich. that’s a perfectly logical reason to become a hero, because, to Iida, wanting to create a better financial situation for yourself is completely understandable and a reasonable reason to become a hero. (and that was before he found out it was for her parents)

he’s not all “How DARE you ruin the sanctity of heroism with your selfishness!” or some bullshit

nah, when Uraraka worries that her reasons aren’t as noble as his or Izuku’s, he’s just. “Why would we think less of you for wanting to make your life a little easier? That’s perfectly admirable.” and then he gets so incredibly supportive for Uraraka when he finds out it’s for her parents

yes, he’s super serious about respecting UA and class studies. and he’s a very passionate person overall. but sometimes, he just seems so… laid back? or very casual about certain things? like it just seems so obvious to him that thinking any other way just doesn’t occur to him

like in the above scene, where he just calmly says that becoming a hero to make your life more comfortable is admirable in it’s own way

or when Izuku manages to catch All Might’s attention? Iida smiles and says, “Well, it just makes sense, given their similar powers.” no jealousy to be found. just pure and simple logic and happiness for his friend.

it’s just that simple

or when Izuku is getting stressed about his internship and Miro and learning about All Might’s predicted fate, he simply just offers his support as a friend. he doesn’t try to pry into Izuku’s business, but he offers himself as someone who’ll listen if Izuku needs to talk at all.

he echos back the same words Izuku gave him when he was going through turmoil over his brother’s injuries, because he knows how important it is now to rely on your friends for support

and on a similar vein, when Tsuyu gets upset in regards to what she said to the class about going to rescue Bakugou, he tries to comfort her in his own way, by calling her by her preferred name of “Tsuyu” (her first name, only reserve for friends) instead of the more formal way of calling her by “Asui” (her last name) that he’s used to.

He does it in his own way of course, calling her “Tsuyu-chan-kun” because calling someone so casually by their first name with “-chan” is new to him, so he adds “-kun” at the end to make it a little more polite/formal, but he knows she prefers being called by her first name by the members of the class.

so he keeps calling her that. it’s not just a one-time deal, he continues to call her “Tsuyu-chan-kun,” even tho she’s not there to hear it, because he knows she prefers it and appreciates it. even if he grew up with very strict manners, he does this because he’s her friend and wants to respect her wishes

Iida is just… such a sweetheart. he just always focuses on logic of a situation and is so genuine and passionate in everything he does

it’s almost as if he’s incapable of thinking of others as having bad intentions?? the exceptions being, well, Villains, and when he thinks Izuku may be trying to sabotage Uraraka during their UA entrance exam. and that’s only because he started out with a bad impression of Izuku (as shown in the above image).

when Hatsume tricks him into becoming her advertising buddy during the exam, he has absolutely no inkling that she might be planning something. he just genuinely thinks that she’s being a fair sportsman in giving her opponent similar gear that she has to level the playing field.

ulterior motives don’t factor into his decision at all, he just believes in her passion until he’s proven wrong and the trick is revealed

it’s a little naive, but he just has so much trust in his fellow classmates??

and he just?? 

Iida feels so awful when Todoroki and Izuku come to save him, because this is his problem, his mess, his vendetta, and yet they’re the ones paying the price for his mistakes.

and he can’t even get angry at Stain here for telling him off, because he was right. Iida wasn’t acting like a real hero. he was acting in revenge. and it was one of the biggest mistakes of his life, and whenever he refers back to this moment, he always words it like “When I was a fool, when I lost my way, when I went rogue”

basically, anything short of just “When I was acting like a huge fucking idiot”

and even after it’s all over, he’s able to take a step back from his personal feelings and recognize that, while Stain was extremist and he hurt Tensei for inexcusable reasons, there were things about him that people would find admirable. 

and again, he recognizes that Stain wasn’t wrong about him. he was acting in selfishness, and not how a hero should.

and that’s why, when he sees Todoroki and Izuku making the same mistake he did, he just can’t stand it.

he can’t. 

that was the biggest mistake of his life and he can’t stand seeing his friends make the same mistake he did, seeing them go rogue, seeing them ignore the rules and laws and put their justice above all else. he can’t stand it. 

it reminds him too much of himself back then.

he can’t stand seeing the people he cares about making the same exact mistake he did, especially when they were the ones who helped him when he lost his way before. 

and at the same time, he can’t stand the idea of them becoming hurt because of it. they were hurt before because of what he did, and seeing Izuku so injured in the hospital, he projected the image of his brother onto Izuku. 

he can’t stand the idea of his friends becoming seriously injured to the point of no return because of their foolish decisions. he just can’t do it. 

he can’t stand the idea of seeing the people he cares about being hurt again. 

(what if their hero careers end before they even start because of this?)

Iida is just…. such a sweetheart. he cares so much. he doesn’t want them to be hurt because of dumb mistakes, because he’s been through that already. he knows the consequences. his arm is suffering from the injuries from it, still.

anyway, this has been an Iida appreciation post

please enjoy the rest of your day

related meta:

post-emoji movie Trauma

WARNING: the following text contains spoilers and can be considered disturbing to some readers. especially my brain, because it’s leaking out my ears after typing this.

This is the first movie ever I’ve gone to see on opening night. And let me just say that, for the record, I’m glad I went to watch with friends. Without them, I would have most likely calmly exited the room, climbed up to the roof, and dived straight off.

Keep reading


花樣年華: THE NOTES [3/x]

27 August YEAR 21.75

When the surgeons walked towards us with ashen faces and anguished voices, the first three things that came to my mind frightened me. One, did Death come to claim Jungkook? Two, who called for Death to come, and three, what was going to happen to us? 

I never got an answer for the last question, because it came so naturally that we accepted it as part of our grief. And I did something that the Kim Namjoon in the past wouldn’t have. I skipped the funeral, packed my bags and just… left. I could not bring myself to witness what Jungkook’s death did to all our friends, how he took the best in each of us along with him to his grave. And I couldn’t bear to see, how the mistake of my negligence, robbed the world of its sun. 

The day before Jungkook died, I bumped into Seokjin-hyung, although he wasn’t quite like himself. He wore an immaculate blouse beneath an expensive suit and the way his feet struck the earth with finality suggested age. He looked at me in the eye and knocked the breath from my lungs. He didn’t speak to me at all, but turned to disappear down the street. If I had known that he was going to… I would have stopped him. But I didn’t and I hate myself for that.

I miss them all, terribly so. Especially Taehyung. He is the most persistant. He would send me messages, call me, and write to me on every possible surface Seoul could offer. I’m truly sorry that I will never have the courage to ask for forgiveness and that I will never have the capacity to give him the love that he truly deserves. How could I, when I lost the ability to love him the moment I let Seokjin-hyung walk away?

storyline and gifs © dearmyjimin

When I Lost You - Part I - Jaehyun x Reader - Fuckboy HighSchool!AU

Part I - Part II - Part III - Part IV - Part V

Requested by: @kpop-killed-me, I don’t know if I’ll make a part two????? but enjoy the angst!!

Word Count: 1313

Trigger Warnings: Offensive Language

Genre: Fuckboy HighSchool!AU, Angst

To everybody else, he was Jung Jaehyun. 

Senior star athlete, extreme womanizer and playboy, and the guy everybody wanted to be friends with, regardless of the consequences.

To you, he was once Jung Yoonoh; the quiet shy kid who sat by you in the library and showed you funny videos of cats on the internet when the librarian wasn’t hovering over you.

The transformation happened towards the end of sophomore year.

Keep reading

MBTI and F. Scott Fitzgerald quotes

- There are all types of love in this world but never the same love twice
- Her philosophy is carpe diem for herself and laissez-faire for others

- Personality is an unbroken series of sucessful gestures
- It was only a sunny smile, and little it costs in the giving, but like morning light scattered the night and made the day worth living

- The world only exists in your eyes. You can make it as big or as small as you want
- So we’ll just let things take their course, and never be sorry

- I don’t want just words. If that’s all you have for me, you’d better go
- It was within and without, simultaneously enchanted and repelled by the inexhaustible variety of life

- It’s not a slam at you when people are rude. It’s a slam at the people they’ve met before
- I don’t ask you to love me always like this, but I want you to remember. Somewhere inside of me there will always be the person I am tonight

- I wish I have done everything on earth with you
- Things are sweeter when they’re lost, I know because I wanted something and got it. It was the only thing I ever wanted, and when I got it, it turned to dust in my hand

- Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss
- I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you find the strength to start all over again

- There are only the pursued, pursuing, the busy and the tired
- The loniest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly

- A woman should be able to kiss a man beautifully and romantically without any desire to be either his wife or his mistress
- And in the end, we were only humans… drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness

- For what it’s worth: it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be
- Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall

- Everybody’s youth is a dream, a form of chemical madness
- The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function

- It’s funny thing coming home. Nothing changes. Everything looks the same, even smells the same. You realize what’s changed is you
- Live the full life of mind, exhilarated by new ideas, intoxicated by the romance of unusual

- Life is essentially a cheat and its conditions are those of defeat: the redeeming things are not happiness and pleasure, but the deep satisfactions that come out of struggle
- I’m a romantic: a sentimental person thinks things will last, a romantic person hopes against hope that they won’t

- You are the finest, loveliest, tanderest and most beautiful person I have ever known - and even that is an understandment
- There’s something between us; a sort of pull. Something you always do to me and I to you

- Living your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before
- Why don’t you tell me that “if the girl had been worth having she’d have waited for you?” No, sir. The girl really worth having won’t wait for anybody

- Genious is the ability to put into effect what is in your mind
- Nothing is beneath you if it is in the direction of your life

Happy National Book Day

A Message to Supergirl fans from a Wynonna Earp fan

I’d like to start off by saying I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what you’ve been going through, for what you’ve had to listen to, and for how terrible everyone is treating this situation. I want to make it very clear to all Suercorp shippers and LGBT+ fans that, yes, you are valid no matter what.

I was a part of this fandom some time ago but lost interest when the show’s dynamic shifted (*cough cough mon el ruined everything cough cough*). And now the #supergirl tag is filled to the brim with nothing but homophobic crap and fandom backlash. Everything seems to be spiraling out of control faster than anyone can glue it back together. I know this must be a troubling time for a lot of you…

But I come to you in these dark times with a true beacon of hope…


“Crazy chick with a gun.”

This is Wynonna,

And that is her magical gun that sends demons back to hell.

This is her boss, Xavier-I’m-in-a-relationship-with-my-job-Dolls,

who has a thing for Wynonna. As does this guy

And this little ray of sunshine is Waverly

Wynonna’s little quirky sister (the Earp sisters)

And this is Waverly’s girlfriend, Officer Nicole Haught

(They kiss a lot)

This is our wonderful gay-overlord and holy-mother of all that is good, Emily Andras

She supports us shippers and validates us and our feelings, not to mention she loves to interact with her fans and her twitter game is

Dom and Kat love to talk about Wayhaught (WaverlyxNicole) and they’re probably the biggest shippers in the entire fandom (they are super cute together)

Originally posted by lauraholliis

Right next to Melanie

And Melanie being the rebel youth while mama Emily needs another drink

So This is the cast, who love and support their fans, and who want to be good role models for others as well.

And the best part… it just got renewed for another season!

Originally posted by fyeahwynonnaearp

This is the show I found when I lost Supergirl. I’m not saying this is going to fix anything or make everything disappear, put a band-aid over a bullet wound and call it all better, but I hope you can find solace and comfort here. I hope this eases the pain a little. I hope you find something here to stick around for. Give it a shot, you’ll be happy you did.

Welcome to Purgatory!

When I Lost You - Part II - Jaehyun x Reader - Fuckboy HighSchool!AU

Part I Part II  - Part III - Part IV - Part V

There will probably be a continuation to this series. This chapter is from Jaehyun’s point of view.

Word Count: 2458

Trigger Warnings: Offensive Language

Genre: Fuckboy HighSchool!AU, Angst

Jaeyhyun’s POV

It was that one fateful day in freshman year when the seating plan had been shifted and he ended up sitting next to you.

His heartbeat had almost stopped; he’d been crushing on you for almost two months now, and this couldn’t be happening.

You had glanced up and noticed him standing there shyly, and you smiled, introducing yourself.

Of course I know who you are, he thought to himself as he tried to find the proper words to not make a fool of himself during his own introduction.

Keep reading

Fairy tales were born in times of trouble, in complicated times - when hope felt lost. I made The Shape of Water as an antidote to cynicism. For it seems to me that when we speak of love - when we believe in love - we do so in a hopeless way. We fear looking naive and even disingenuous. But Love is real - absolutely real - and, like water, it is the most gentle and most powerful force in the Universe. It is free and formless until it pours into its recipient, until we let it in. Our eyes are blind. But our soul is not. It recognizes love in whatever shape it comes to us.
—  Guillermo Del Toro at La Biennale Di Venezia

august 22, 2017

studyblr is a lot harder than i thought but at the same time, i like how it’s challenging me to create better, efficient notes, which i can’t even do right now because i don’t have a desk??? cries. also, the pilot g-2 pen is honestly the best and i cried when i thought i lost it yesterday. 

+++ revamped my theme, icon, and header, finally 

When I Lost You - Part IV - Jaehyun x Reader - Fuckboy HighSchool!AU

Part I - Part II - Part III - Part IV - Part V

This is from Y/N’s POV. So! A lot of people seem to enjoy this heavily angsty series for some reason, and I really wanted to thank you so much for all the continuous love and support you give this writing <3

Word Count: 1765

Trigger Warnings: Offensive Language

Genre: Fuckboy HighSchool!AU, Angst

Dedicated to [and requested by]: @taeyongbelviso , I hope you’re enjoying your vacation, sweetie <3

You had finally finished the group assignment that was due your already most hated class, and you thought that this project would be a good start to boost your marks up.

All of that, and it was just the first week of senior year. This was really no joke.

Submitting it last night via email, you had gotten the first proper amount of rest since the year had started, finally feeling like you could breathe.

On the plus side, it was now a Friday, and that meant that after this one day at school, you could enjoy your well awaited weekend and do nothing as you relaxed.

The alarm went off but you had been awake for a few minutes, relishing the little time left before you had to drag yourself out of bed.

Keep reading

“Why don’t you tell me I’m pretty?” Elain said.

Azriel looked up from his book. She was standing in the doorway to the library—frustrated, unsure.

“You never tell me I’m pretty. You never compliment my dresses or the style of my hair.” She crossed to him, hands fisted in the skirts of her cobalt dress. “Why not? Why don’t you give me compliments like the other males?”

Azriel blinked and put down his book. “Because… because compliments are just words, and you don’t need words.” He stood and walked until they were an arm’s length apart. His voice was soft, low. “When you feared for your life, I gave you a knife so you could defend yourself. When you were lost, I asked you to teach me to garden so you would have purpose, and a place. When you were too sad to move or speak, I sat with you so you’d know you were not alone. And when you are happy I am content to sit in silence, to watch and to be, and to not waste those moments with silly observations about your appearance.”

He took a step toward her. And than another.

Her breath grew heavy the closer he got. When at last they shared breath, she whispered, “And what if I w-wanted silly observations?”

He stroked a knuckle down her cheek, to trace her jaw. She stilled, the world so quiet she measured the moments by the pounding of her heart.

“Then I would tell you that no ode to your beauty could ever do justice, and it would not have driven Truth-teller into the Hybern king’s neck.”

He stroked that knuckle down the line of her throat, to the neckline of the dress, trailing it over the tops of her breasts.

“I would tell you that pretty words about how the color of your cobalt dress brings out the warmth in your eyes would not have helped ground you in a new life nor give you purpose.”

He twirled a golden curl around his finger, then slowly tucked it behind her ear.

“I would tell you that nothing could be gained from knowing how a loose curl, hanging near your neck, drives me mad beyond belief with wanting—to touch, to taste—because it would not have gotten you out of bed all those months ago, nor made you feel any less alone.”

He leaned in and every ounce of focus went to what he might do next, where he might touch her next. The entire world balanced on a razor’s edge… his hand found the side of her face and he leaned in. She stopped breathing.

“And I would tell you that I have been in love with you, Elain Archeron, for a very, very long time.”

Azriel gently pressed his lips to hers. It was quiet and strong and light—a silken caress. And it was a beginning of something she had no words to describe.

Gender neutral bathrooms are important.

In 8th grade (year 9) I realised I was trans

I came out to the teachers, administration and most of my friends because my school advertised itself as liberal and LGBT friendly.

It wasn’t.

Not two weeks later, the school changed our previously gender neutral bathrooms to gendered ones. There was a little pretty pink sign for the girls and a blue one for the boys. Being nonbinary (masc leaning) and being incredibly uncomfortable using both, I still struggled to speak out.

When I finally did, I brought it up with a member of student council. He was sympathetic and promised to bring it up in the next meeting. The bathrooms didn’t change back to what they were. I asked him about it. He said that the teacher in charge of student council (who was also part of the LGBT community) had said it was pointless because, “It only benefits one student!”

And that’s when I lost faith.

A school that had promised to protect me refused to take a damn sign off a bathroom. A school that had advertised itself as LGBT friendly failed to protect a kid who was trans. It wasn’t so hard to acknowledge what this shit was doing to my mental health and for a school that “cared” so much, it did so little. I felt singled out and “different” and maybe I was. I was too young to really understand why it upset me so much but whatever self esteem I had left, the school destroyed. Don’t promise to protect already vulnerable kids only to fuck them over when they need you most.

This still fucks me up to this day.

There are people in even worse situations. There are people who straight up feel threatened using the bathrooms. There are people who feel unsafe. There are laws restricting trans kids from using the bathroom they feel most comfortable in.

So I’m asking you now. If you have the opportunity to protect a trans kid, do it. We face under representation and are just seen as less important. Even people within the LGBT community treat us badly and that’s saying something. So please, if you can, be nice. Be supportive. Understand. Don’t do what my school did.