this-is-the-real-shit

anonymous asked:

"you seem like the kind of girl who is into roses candles and fucking in the bath" holy shit though, you know this guy uses that line on every girl he meets

dude. he was a “line” guy. as we were ending the date he said to me “oh youve got something on your lips” and moved in to kiss me and I almost cough-hurled into his mouth like I dont want to date a dude who regurgitates tacky film lines written by cliche-ridden fucklords whose only knowledge of romance comes from the 1990s Guide of How to Hook in Chicks

My brother bought iced tea with mangoes at the bottom and this is a brief recording of his struggle:

1. *looking wistfully at the near empty bottle* “I’m only drinking this to get to them…”

2. *the bottle is empty, he struggles to get the mangoes to move* “Come on mangoes don’t do this.”

3. *he looks at me helplessly* “They won’t come out.”

4. *3 minutes later he’s still fighting with them* “HOW’D THEY EVEN GET THEM IN HERE.”

5. *he struggles for five more minutes, fishing them out with a fork repeating:* “Come ooooon mangooooes!!!!”

6. *he eats the last mango cube and leaves the room looking triumphant to tell our mother*

10 songs + 10 mutuals

instructions: put ur music on shuffle and list the 1st 10 songs, then tag 10 mutuals

tagged by @mewchim and @bwingle an thank you for the top notch song recs loves!

  1. jhope - 1 verse
  2. the weeknd - six feet under
  3. frank ocean - super rich kidz
  4. hoody - baby oh baby
  5. tinashe - wrong
  6. j cole - she knows
  7. the weeknd - true colors
  8. drake - fire and desires
  9. sik-k - no where (i love sik-k so much pls check him out)
  10. childish gambino - the crawl

tagging: @pjimns @kawarimasu @sweatae @kimtaeheart @hobssoftie @jiwings @busanie @bfjoonie @fhawn @donteatjin

Angela Merkel just said she’ll offer Donald Trump cooperation, on the basis that he respects people’s dignity no matter the place of birth, colour of their skin, beliefs, their sex, sexuality or their political convictions.

So….I guess germany and the us just broke up?

6

So this is how dates work right

3

And all of this time I’ve been living it up
And all that’s is left is rubble and dust
Oh oh, I’m coming home