this-is-so-heartbreaking-and-beautiful

anonymous asked:

I just started reading On My Love, and OMG, I WAS NOT READY FOR ALL THESE FEELS!!! WHAT IS WITH ALL THESE NINJAS CHOPPING ONIONS. It's so beautifully written, my heart is broken, and I am deceased.

I literally need cpr every time I read that fic ashdlasjhl it’s so beautiful and heartbreaking 

anonymous asked:

I'm trying to heal. I recently went through a horrible break up, and though your works help me, it doesn't take much for me to shatter again... is there any advice you can give me to help me make it through? My heart hurts, my soul even more so.

Unfortunately, life has the ability for tearing us down when we are at our most fragile. I relate to your message strongly as I have been through hell myself recently. What I found to help me most was keeping a gratitude journal. Instead of focussing on the thing that hurts you, focus on 3 things, whether small or big that have made you smile, or made a frission of joyfulness that has broken through your heartbreak. Initially, my journal read this way: “The sun came out and made the day so much prettier, my cat was especially affectionate today and I started reading a beautiful book.” When you’re in pain, simple things to be grateful for make all the difference in the world. I hope this helps a little. <3

DWTS S24 Week 2 Recap / Review

1. Nancy Kerrigan & Artem Chigventsev -Cha Cha (7+7+7+7=28) Nancy has a really compelling narrative. For her to be so talented, accomplished & beautiful, the fact that she harbors so much insecurity & can’t take a compliment is endearing & heartbreaking all together. Artem is a really good partner for her, I think he’ll keep chipping at that wall she has up all season. This was one of my favorite cha cha’s of the night, I had to re-watch cause I missed it the first time, it had so much recognizable content. She really has amazing footwork, she just needs to step with more confidence & keep her control but she’s so much better than she gives herself credit for.

How cute is it to see Artem so happy about having a good partner. lol

2. Erika Jayne & Gleb Savchenko - Foxtrot (7+7+7+7=28) The dance was good, Ericka has great legs & potential for amazing lines, she’s very aware of her body & very confident which is awesome. The foxtrot could’ve been more graceful was a bit rushed & hectic at times. 

Now.. Here’s my problem with Gleb & his partners as of late, they seem to not grasp the concept of sexiness AND substance, equally mixed. I’m all for liberation, especially for women, I think it’s beautiful when women such as Ericka embrace their sexiness & sensuality so fearlessly. It’s one of the reasons Peta is one of my favorite pro dancers. But based on her package, I fear she doesn’t understand that sexiness being your personality or dance concepts entire driving force will eventually become one note. Being one note on a show like this doesn’t get very far, you have to be a symphony of different notes. In other words, versatile. I hate that she thinks that the criticism of her is that she shouldn’t own that part of her womanhood so much cause it’s not. Women are complex creatures, sexuality is one singe part of who we are, there are only so many weeks, I would like to see at least one or two different aspects to who she is as woman and dancer. What I mean by substance is something more tangible than just, “Oh a cop pulled me over, let me seduce him to get out of a ticket. “ That’s such a fly by night, unmemorable concept. You don’t have to fall in love with the cop & sing Ave Maria but connect to some emotions that make me connect to the human inside of you. Sexiness is not something you do or should seem try hard. It should naturally exude without you telling us. There is real beauty in sex & sensuality that’s deeper than this dance ever tried go. 

This is not meant to be specifically a take-down of Erica she seems like quite a lovely person inside & out, their package & dance just happened to be the catalyst for this rant. If anything a lot my issues on this subject lie with Gleb, I don’t find he has a lot of the ability or willingness to push his partner past the sexy surface. As the pro, I would like to see him try to get his partner out of their comfort zone more often. Of course the celeb is going to want to do what makes them comfortable but maybe guide them down a more diverse journey.

3. Charro & Keo Motsepe - Paso Doble (6+6+7+6=25)  She might be extra as all get out. but I’m living for these two after tonight . If she reigns her energy in, she could really impress. She had great legs & seemingly great stamina, I’m really interested to see how much she can improve in the next few weeks. 

I love how outgoing, confident & naturally exuberant Charro clearly is, it’s definitely not a put on, that’s really her everyday & I can’t even be mad at that. I would like to see her reign it in & show some restraint, because like Erika & Gleb, it can become one note quick.

4. Nick Viall & Peta Murgatroyd - Foxtrot (7+5+7+6=25)

In Nick’s defense that was some challenging choreography, but good on Peta for trying to push him but it was probably too much too soon. You could see it on his face that he wanted to do better than he was doing. He’s really got to relax, he’s more going through the steps than dancing. Hopefully Nick will get more comfortable in the coming weeks.

5.Heather Morris & Maksim Chmerkovskiy (injured) & Alan Bersten (stand in) - Jive (8+6+8+8=30)

Wow, what a difference a week makes. In just 2 weeks Heather has given us two vastly different sides to her. Last week she was appropriately subdued for the VW, this week she came out roaring in her jive mixed with pop / hip hop. Smartly choreographed to her advantage & make her shine, if not with the judges, with the fans, again smart. Her jive was pretty solid to me, obviously her hip hop was pretty much perfect, she channeled her inner Beyonce. I do agree with Bruno that she was clearly more comfortable & confident in the hip- hop. She needs to bring that spark & attack to the ballroom / latin dances as well. 

6. Bonner Bolton & Sharna Burgess - Viennese Waltz (8+6+8+7=29) Ughh, I hate to be this person but I just don’t connect with Bonner. Something about him feels inauthentic. I don’t see all this “chemistry between him & Sharna. I sense he likes her, likes her, & she’s just really good at her job. Back to the dancing, it was an ok effort, beautifully choreographed, but his posture wasn’t great & footwork sometimes messy. Those 8′s are some bulllll. 

7. Simone Biles & Sasha Farber - Cha Cha (7+7+7+8=29) This girl is tight, really find myself watching for mistakes more than anything. This was in no way as poor as the 7′s suggest. I didn’t really see the timing issues Carrie Ann saw. My criticism of Simone would be, she’s very robotic when she dances, it’s definitely an Olympic gymnast trait (Shawn, Aly, Nastia), almost devoid of emotion, I really want to see her in a rumba or VW & see if she can show some range in her emotions. The 7′s were insane, considering Bonner got 8′s, showed how over scored he was. He should’ve got 7′s & Simone 8′s. 

8. Chris Kattan & Witney Carson - Jive (6+5+6+5=22) Some celebs it’s not about the dancing so much as the journey & overall experience. This season for me as viewer that’ Chris. We know he won’t be the best dancer of the season, he knows, the judges know, but that doesn’t he don’t want to see him be the best dancer he can be considering his physical impairment. 

9. Normani Kordei & Val Chmerkovskiy - Cha Cha (8+8+8+8=32)

Best performance of the night at this point. She really killed it, face, hair, legs, technique all while traveling across the world each week. This girl is special, I’ve never cared much about Fifth Harmony but this girl is going places all her own. Heather needs to do what Normani does, which is turn it on for every dance, let her confidence lead her even if she’s truly unsure. Great job by Val with the choreography & teaching with such an unprecedented traveling schedule.  

10. Rashad Jennings & Emma Slater - Viennese Waltz (8+8+8+8=32) There is a quiet storm brewing with this couple, they are seriously ones to watch. I could see them snatching the trophy if they stay consistent. Between Simone, Normani & Rashad, I can’t think of a better finale. Rashad has the substance I want Erika to find & the sincerity I don’t get from Bonner. He can dance, he’s good looking to boot & he’s seems incredibly genuine. The judges were right when they say that he leads Emma & takes control of her the way a man should in the dance. For Week 2 that’s really remarkable for a male celeb. There’s a quiet confidence in him that’s really attractive, he dances with confidence but he doesn’t overdo it, he reallu delicate with Emma. These two are really special to watch.

11. Mr. T & Kym Herjavec - Paso Doble (6+5+6+5=22) I hate “judging” dancers like Mr. T, cause personally I love his story but dance wise it’s not the best. You can definitely see that he is working hard on improving the steps & timing, which was so much better than Week 1. I agree with Carrie Ann that the punching can stop now, explore so more range of motion but I think Kym is doing a good job with not overloading him with steps he can’t possibly keep up with.

12. David Ross & Lindsay Arnold - Cha Cha (7+6+7+7=27) David is pretty fly for a white guy. I love his spunk & approach to this show & dances. This week was not an improvement to his Quickstep, which was pretty good. But I like that Chris is willing to get loose & have some fun, hopefully we get to see a more polished side of him next week. 

ELMINATION

In Jeopardy

Chris & Witney -   Eliminated - Damn, I love Chris, his bravery & willingness to try something new & so physically vulnerable like this. God bless him.

Charro & Keo

anonymous asked:

im sorry please don't take this as hate im genuinely curious, why do you have a blog about boys who killed so many people? i just dont understand why there's a whole community about it ? like im sure not everybody in it wants to shoot up a school?

No worries! I’m glad you asked!! Of course I am not someone who wants to shoot up a school. I can’t speak for the entire TCC, but everyone I’ve met so far has not felt that way, either. 

In all honesty, I really like to research the boys BEFORE the massacre. The violent deaths they brought forth really do sadden me and I hate seeing what they did. And it’s fascinating to look at videos and pictures of them and into their eyes, knowing what they were planning all along. 

I think a lot of girls like Dylan because of his journals. He was very sad and…honestly, dramatic. But his writings were absolutely beautiful and heartbreaking. I got into it because I read his journals. It’s just…absolutely incredible to read his words. It’s sad, it’s heartbreaking, but it’s wonderful. I believe that I am drawn to Dylan because I identify with the pain he had – depression, I mean. He’s just an interesting soul and I enjoy reading about him and knowing who he was. I have so much support for his mother, as well – all in all, I take interest in who they were, not who they became. I hope that makes sense. That’s why I’m into it, I can’t speak for everybody else. Thanks! Much love!

I never liked making
homes out of people,
but some nights with
your arms around me
like walls and your
heart as warm as a
blazing fireplace
I have never felt more
safe so darling,
if this is home -
please tell me
I can stay.
—  Home // Genefe Navilon

“I know he loves her now,” she said, “and I’m only a memory that he tries not to visit too often.” She paused, looking so at peace, but in the saddest way possible. “I guess I just hope that he thinks of me from time to time. When he sees a sunset too beautiful for words, or when our favorite artist releases a new song, or when he passes my street. I just hope that sometimes he remembers what it felt like to be nineteen and so in love that it was almost like your heart might burst. I hope that he smells my old perfume and he can’t shake the picture of me running outside of my house, barefoot, to jump into his arms. I just want our love to still be important, you know? I just… I hope it lingers.”

“It sounds like a beautiful memory,” I told her. “How could he forget?”

She smiled. “Darling, everything fades with time. Even the most vivid of moments — realizing, for the first time, you’re in love, or your first kiss, or even the day it all came crashing down around you — fade as new moments pass. I just hope I was important enough to last a little while longer.”

—  excerpt from an unfinished book #136 // Thinking of you because Ed Sheeran released a new song

I’m not going to write about all the times you screwed me over.
I’m not going to make you out to be this bad person.
Because at some point you were what was right for me.
You rescued me when I was lost.
You helped me win the battles with my demons.
You made me feel beautiful.
And when you looked at me, I knew I mattered.
Those are the memories I will remember you by
At some point in time, you did love me.

So no, I won’t hate you
For outgrowing me
For lying
For leaving
But I’m not going to pretend I’m ok with it either…

Are you ever sorry?“ He asked.

"For loving you?” She smiled and shook her head. “No. There are so many things to be sorry for, but loving you isn’t one of them.”

For some reason, that answer made him even more restless.

“What are the things you’re sorry about, then?” He asked after a while.

“I’m sorry that I wasn’t quite right for you. That you weren’t quite right for me. That the timing wasn’t quite right for us. We were never lacking in love. It wasn’t ever a question of whether we loved each other enough or not, because if love could fill a whole room - ours would have needed more space. It would have burst out of the windows and banged open doors.” She stopped, and smiled such a sad smile it broke his heart all over again.

“You know I loved you so much.” He whispered.

She reached out to squeeze his hand and said, “I know, darling. I know. But even the greatest of loves cannot withstand the wars of this world. And no matter how much we loved each other, it wasn’t a war we were supposed to win.

—  we were beautiful but we weren’t quite right // Genefe Navilon
i think you’re a jerk
i think you’re the most beautiful person in the entire world but what you’re doing to me is so ugly
i think your hands are too steady holding the knives you keep plunging into my back
into my chest
i think you’re killing me slowly
i think you know it
i think you don’t care
i think you’re the best thing to ever happen to me
i think losing you is the worst thing to ever happen to me
i think you’re going to be okay
i think i will be too
or maybe i won't 
i think one day but not today
i think you love(d) me
i think i love you
i think i always will
—  i think i care too much about hurting your feelings to tell you what i really think
(cc, 2017)

She is the kind of woman
that breaks your heart by
being too good at loving you.
She’s the kind that you don’t
deserve and you know it -

so you spend the rest of
your life earning that right -
the right to deserve her,
and hoping to god
it’s good enough.

And you know what? It is.

—  It is // Genefe Navilon

I literally just cant. Sometimes are you guys hit by the fact, that Lexa the stoic Commander, with the wisdom of generations, fell in love with a smol girl who fell from the sky? She bared her soul to her, and she protected her, and improved and changed her entire life and the ways of her people for that small bi bean?

She was so beautiful. And strong. And just…. Powerful. She moved us all. She inspired so many of us. She inspired hundreds of thousands of us to revolt against the media and their view of the lgbtq youth. She changed the lives of so many

For me, the most powerful yet heartbreaking scene was one of her very last happy moments. That smile, that smile she gave Clarke as she leaned down to kiss her on the bed. Do you guys remember? That smile. It was like… Seeing her for the first time. Happy. Relieved. Satisfied. She looked so beautiful. And raw. And fucking amazing.

I miss her so much

“Egg shells,” I told her. “It felt like walking on egg shells.”

She had asked me what it felt like to be with him. She continued, “So why did you stay? Why did you put yourself through that?”

I smiled. “Because, sometimes, it wasn’t all that bad. If I tip toed in just the right pattern—if I watched my steps carefully—it was beautiful. We were beautiful.” Then my smile fell. “But sometimes, the egg shells cracked if even just the wind blew in the wrong way. And that’s when I should’ve left, but I never could make myself.”

She looked at me with sad eyes.

“I loved him,” I told her. “I loved him so much that I became an expert at every game he played. And he loved who I became for him.”

—  excerpt from an unfinished book #121 // It felt like walking on egg shells
I knew deep down that you never truly cared for me. You would string together beautiful words and tell me everything I wanted to hear but I knew you never meant a word of it. I think the reason I held onto you so tightly for so long was because you were the first boy to make me feel special and I refused to believe that you didn’t mean the beautiful things you said. I held onto the idea that one day you would wake up and realise that you did love me but you never did and it destroyed me.
—  and you don’t do that to the girl you claim to love.
I was never in love with you;
I was in love with the idea of you.
The idea of you comforting me if I needed it, the thought of you wrapping your arms around me.
To have the memory of you calling me beautiful.
I loved you, but not for who you were…
—  a.a.
so why is it that I still ache for you? m.k.j.

I’ve come to a point in my life where “I love you” just doesn’t have the same meaning as it used to before. Sure, you can love me. You can fall in love with my eyes, with the way I tuck my hair behind my ears, with the way the sunshine hits the color of my skin. You can love me in a hundred and one different ways but it wouldn’t mean anything if you don’t choose me. So yes, you could tell me you love me and my heart will skip a beat and I’ll have butterflies in my tummy and I will feel the earth shake on my feet - I will feel so happy, my heart could burst out of my chest… but it simply just won’t be enough anymore.

So this is what I need from you:

Tell me you choose me. When I’m slumped on the floor ridden with guilt and grief from everything that has ever and will ever hurt me - hold me and tell me you choose me. When I’m pushing you away, when my fists are up and the ugliest of things come out from this mouth you proclaim to love - say you choose me anyway. When I’m broken, when you can’t fix me, when no amount of I love you’s in the world can assuage my pain - please, hold my face, shake me a little, say, “look at me, I choose you, okay?”

You can tell me you love me. You can shout it to the world. You can say it to me a million times and it will be what I want to hear. But telling me, “I choose you” - darling, that’s all I will ever need.

—  Tell me you choose me // Genefe Navilon