this-is-so-depressing-im-sorry

Credence Barebone

{i. rosa} sorrow, bashful shame
{ii. coriandrum sativum} hidden worth
{iii. lavandula} distrust
{iv. narcissus tazetta} desire for affection returned
{v. rhododendron} beware, i am dangerous
{vi. rubus fruticosus} lowliness, remorse

  • Me: I'm having a pretty good day today.
  • My brain: Shiro has PTSD and probably hasn't had a good night's sleep in months due to having reoccurring nightmares and flashbacks and probably overworks himself til he passes out and has to be put into a healing pod to recover. Keith is terrified of himself and his newfound heritage and most likely views himself as a monster. Pidge cries themself to sleep bc they have convinced themself that their father and brother will die in space and her mother will live on with the knowledge that her husband and children are gone, possibly forever. Hunk views himself as unworthy of a place on the team due to his lack of (visible) drive. Lance is terrified his teammates will see through his bravado and see the true weak, useless, cowardly child he views himself as. Allura sometimes walks into the room where her father's soul was stored before the ship's crystal was corrupted, and cries when she realises she cannot speak to her father as freely as she used to, that her father is dead and she is all but alone. Coran had a family - a wife or husband and children - back on Altea. They are now long gone. Coran sometimes wonders if they would have lived longer if he had spent more time with them instead of at work. If he would have had more memories to cherish.
  • Me, curled up on my side, tears streaming down my face: I'm having a no good very bad day. This is fine. ;^;

I’m a mess and can’t seem to put myself back together. I want to scream…I want to cry.

But I also don’t want to feel like this. I actually hate it.

I want to feel happy and not worried about how society looks at me a 22-year-old who has had no dating experience.

I’m depressed and feel so so unlovable (I know it’s not true but it doesn’t send the feeling away).

My friends are all flirting and doing things and I’m sitting at home with my vinyl records and (maybe) a glass of wine.


I’m just here and I feel so scared because I know that dating isn’t the huge deal everyone makes it out to be. But with societal pressures and expectations I find it hard to not be swallowed up…

bootylimpics  asked:

It’s 11:15. My dads heart is failing and I’ve got about 5 other things going wrong. I’m thinking about what my life would be like without my dad. I’m trying to think of ways to cope with all my stress. Sorry for being depressing

im so sorry that you are going through something so traumatic i hope that you find the support and help you need through this with the possibility of losing someone so close to you must be difficult for you to deal with without the added stress and overwhelming burden but pls do not deal with this alone im wishing your dad recovery and and sending you my thoughts.

2

hi im calee i have no self confidence and i fucking hate it when people are rude to me for no reason happy munday