this-is-really-hard-for-me-to-post

ep 9 predictions

Mari: Hey, Kanan, so I know me leaving really hurt your feelings, so I’m sorry about that. But I’m back now, and I think if we both try really hard, we can rekindle our lost feelings for each other. I just really miss you and all the good times we had. Remember when you used to hug me every day? Yeah, me too. I just miss your warmth, y’know? And we can get Dia to come back too. It’ll be nice, the three of us together again. You won’t even have to join Aqours if you don’t want to, though I’ll ask you again in a few days in case you change your mind. So what do you say? Do you forgive me?

Kanan:

Hey everyone. It has been awhile hasn’t it? Well I wanted to let you all know that I am still alive and kicking and also where I’ve been. This past year has been… pretty terrible for me overall from personal deaths to troubles with school to a creative drought that robbed me of all desire to draw. I made a couple posts on how I was feeling at the time and I still feel pretty awful that I never got back to those who reached out to met with support.

It really meant a lot to me and I’m sorry I never responded, the place I was in was too dark. So much so that, well, I was hospitalized for the second time in my life. It was a hard thing to admit, that I had fallen so far that I needed that kind of help. But it was for the best since some I’ve come to accept more things about myself and am working on a system to support myself. It’s still a work in progress tho.

Um, so yeah. Thank you if you’ve read this far, it means a lot. I’d like to be more active on here, but lately tumblr has become a platform I use less and less. I’ve taken to twitter at the moment so I’ll plug that it’s just @snickerdoots

I’m trying to get better. I really am. I’ve let shame control me. I was ashamed of my art, my inability to draw, my lack of ideas, how bad I consider myself when compared to others, my follower count (don’t get me wrong I still love you guys so much), my presence or lackthereof online,  my body, my looks, my job, my lack of a degree, my homelife, my illnesses, and just… me. Its something that takes time and I’m going to allow myself that time… for once.

Love you guys <3

Really glad I got over three (3) distinct internet phases in my life
1. Try hard edgy and cool emulation of popular sarcastic/mean spirited ppl
2. Overly aggressive and constantly looking for fights I couldn’t handle and shouldn’t even have participated in
3. Overly nice and respectful to the point where I posted nothing bc any boundaries I gave were me being “rude” and “unrealistic”

I’m still not perfect, ofc, but I’m much more comfortable in handling myself online esp w a potentially large public audience.

Today has been a rough sensory day. I’m hypersensitive to everything. That’s why I’m quiet. It’s one of those “stay away from me and let me stim!” days.

I’ve had three explosive meltdowns today between when I got up (9am PST) and now (8:30pm PST).

I don’t have the capacity for a lot of social interaction right now. I’m not ignoring anyone.

Just wanted everyone to know I’m absolutely fine because I’ve had people worry. <3

And I really hope this post isn’t a bunch of gibberish because I’m having a hard time putting words together in the right order.

It will be a wonderful day when i finally manage to stop typing Mike, Chuck and Dutch as “Miek”, “Chuch” and “Duth”. Although “Duth” is better than the time I somehow managed to type his name as “Dortch” at least

Idk why those three are so hard for me to type right but apparently they are

@happyquinntobycurtis tagged me to recommend 5 Scorpion fics! I lean toward Quintis mostly (I’ve done a couple of fic rec posts here and here), but I tried to go for a slightly more well-rounded list this time :) And as always, please feel free to tag yourself if I mention your fic but don’t know who you are on Tumblr. 

Better Dig Two by srmiller: This is up there with my favorite Scorpion fics of all. It centers around a really exciting case with a stellar portrayal of my favorite villain (I won’t spoil in case you haven’t read it.) It’s very Toby-centric but also does everyone on the team justice. And the little Quintis moments are very sweet :)

Sweetness of Summer by @banannabethchase: I just feel like it should be known that Sara offered to write me weekly Quintis ficlets just because I whined about summer classes, which was a big commitment and a really sweet gesture :) They’re all in this collection, among some others, and they are all so much fun. Exactly the brand of slice-of-life fluff I think a lot of us needed at that point in the hiatus. 

His Chosen Family by @queenhap: This was written for the fic exchange earlier this summer. I was so excited to see this prompt chosen, because Kylie did such a stellar job with it. It’s a series of moments with each member of the team from Ralph’s perspective. I’ve tried to choose a favorite scene but I don’t think I can choose! This fic is such a nice look into how the team has influenced Ralph; on the show we usually see the reverse perspective, so this is a really refreshing read.

an ever-fixed mark by mardia: This is a fantastic portrayal of Paige that includes everything central to her character on the show, with a little twist. There’s adorable Waige, a really nice mother-son moment, and liason Paige doing her job like no one else can. A great read :)

Doctors Make the Worst Patients by @happyquinntobycurtis: This one is such a funny look at what would happen if Toby was the one who needed medical assistance. There are so many fun team scenes, and the second chapter gets unexpectedly poignant (there’s a moment between Toby and Walter that just knocked me off my feet.) A perfect balance of fun and feels.

I’ll tag @whatthehellisaquintis, @banannabethchase, @livingwithashipname, and @raredelightfulloveoak because everyone else I can think of has been tagged already :)

asks (17)

Anonymous said:
This is going to be an appreciation message so buckle in! I absolutely adore your blog with every bit of my heart, not just because it’s about our precious children but also because I’ve had a hard time finding batfam blogs that don’t (1)

post romantic!Batfam. I don’t really like reading about it, but I love the batfam and your fics make me wanna crawl under my bed sheets and cry but lol my family would PROBABLY get worried, so I don’t really do that. (2)

Your fics break my heart but I end up loving them. Your characterization is amazing. Your writing style is 👌. You make me feel stuff which is also 👌. You reblog brilliant fan art. (3)

You’re super nice and sweet and I wish for Jason the huge dork to give you a bear hug and for Tim to share his coffee with you and for Dick to offer you a piggy back ride and for Damian to let you pet his pets. Have a wonderful day! (4)

Full disclosure I teared up reading this

Thank you <3

Keep reading

August 23,2016

Hello! My name is Raquel. I decided to completely clean out my tumblr because it felt a bit too cluttered to me. I started this account back in July but I didn’t really have much to post because I was not in school also, I had not made an official introduction post so, here it is! 

This upcoming school year, I will be a sophomore in high school. I created a studyblr for inspiration because my previous school year felt like a completely drag. My goals this year are to stay productive, stay positive, work hard, and to do what makes me happy. I am learning Spanish in school and studying Arabic, French, and a little bit of Korean outside of school.

As some of you may be able to tell, I stan SHINee! They’re my ult group but I also stan many other groups and solo artist. 

I need more studyblrs to follow and check out so please like/reblog this so I can follow you! Thank you! 

I have been thinking about the upcoming season and if I am going to do any kind of post episode thing. In S4A I did a little missing scene series focusing on Snowing after each episode. I really enjoyed playing with the characters and trying to fit things into the gaps. Although occasionally it was kind of hard to find something and when 4B started I was unable to keep it up because of the whole “Snowing Baby Snatcher” plot line. 

In S5B I did my Knee Jerk reviews. Which were a fun way for me to unpack the episode and which a few people seemed to enjoy. Although the Knee Jerk’s did end up taking more time than I thought they would they also meant I enjoyed the show more because I got to work through my own thoughts. 

I am wondering about doing something simpler. Maybe bullet point reviews or only breaking down one scene or theme? IDK any thoughts?  

Confession #107

“It really upsets me to know that some people in the fandom are going through such hard times in real life. I saw one person dealing with racism another with anxiety problems and another posted about suicide before deactivating their non stf blog I was following. We need to spread more love and kindness through the fandom because you never know what people are dealing with. This should be a fun and happy place to be just like Enchancia!”

by Anonymous

160816 Suga’s FC Post//Trans

The thing with music is that it comes easy then becomes really hard then comes easy again / sometimes (I) sit there for dozens of days and nothing comes out and other times (I’m) there for only ten minutes and music comes out / hmm (I’ve) been making music for 11years now and it’s still hard haha like life
_____

Turns out I started making music since I was 13

During this long journey I think I was able to take time to organize my thoughts on who the person ‘me’ is / although I was able to organize my thoughts on who I am, I’m not going to tell
_____

Of my beats, I chose only the aces to work with / I had saved them for Bangtan’s album but well…I think I’ll be able to make better music anyways :) / I’ll be doing music for much longer than I have been so far *laugh*
_____

I spent close to half my life making music, you’d think it’d get tiring but while living my 24years there hasn’t been anything else I’ve been as passionate for / since my personality is impatient anytime I started something new it never lasted :)
_____

I’ve always wanted to be the best to someone

That’s why I was restless and anxious while comparing myself to others, not being satisfied (with my work), being greedy, thinking, being sad…

Greed which was a weapon sometimes turned into anger

While working on this mixtape, (I) went back to my 13 year old self and saw a memory stuck in the corner of my mind / When I first started making music, rather than someone who is the best at making music, I wanted to make music that would give comfort and emotions to someone.
_____

I think this work has been work that brought me comfort

Why does this young guy have so much resentment

The guy of expectations was always so far from me so there were many times when I clenched my jaw* / due to that I was always able to show you beyond expectation

What a relief :)
_____

I don’t really like interpreting and explaining songs

Music isn’t the creator’s but the listener’s

That’s why during my album reviews I don’t explain the song or the lyrics but I focus on the process in making the songs / Even if I were to explain, it’s not something that really can be understood / Interpretation is solely on the listener

Chew it out, tear it apart, taste it, enjoy it to your heart’s content
_____

While doing this work I felt like I was going back and forth between heaven and hell multiples times a day / Sometimes I’d feel great about something and then get scared about messing it up / sometimes I’d feel ah this is enough and then feel a bit of regret / It felt quite different from what I felt (while doing) Bangtan’s album / I started this while going around on tour and it was crazy but while working on the second half I’m thankful I had some breathing room because the bighit family helped.
____

Thank you to Yankie hyung and Suran nuna who helped without hesitation with just one phone call even though it’s not even an official album and just a mixtape :)
____

Will be together with you at your creation and at the end of your life
Wherever you are, will welcome you
In the end, at the end of adversity, will be in full bloom
Though the start may be humble, the end will be prosperous
*lyrics from so far away feat. suran*

(trans cr. Joyce @bts-trans)
____

Min Yoongi is most definitely a genius

DO NOT REPOST
Trans by @bangtoori​ 

[august 16, 2016 • tuesday]

i like how these notes turned out 🌸 i’ve been really trying my best to study for the entrance exams for next month.

if u guys are also having exams soon, let’s work hard together!! tag me in ur posts with by adding this tag #heystudie-s (=´∀`)人(´∀`=)

instagram @europhias📖

Made with Instagram
Sensory friendly electric toothbrush

My dentist has recommended that I get an electric toothbrush for years, but just like many autistic people, electric toothbrushes get really overwhelming for me with the painful bristles and the buzz-y feeling in my gums. After talking to my dental hygienist about this, she recommended a newer brand of toothbrush, the Foreo Issa. I ended up getting the Mini version, and wow, I love it. 

This is what it looks like. The bristles, instead of the poke-y hard bristles of a regular toothbrush, are made of soft silicone, and I’ve actually started stimming by putting the head in my mouth and moving the bristles across my tongue. The  Mini version that I use is marketed towards kids, with a gentler vibration. I can even use it on my tongue, which is something I haven’t been able to do before, even with a manual toothbrush. Even though the Issa feels much gentler than a normal toothbrush, my teeth still feel clean and smooth.

The toothbrush also has several features that help me with executive dysfunction surrounding brushing my teeth. Every thirty seconds, the brush pulses once to signal that you should switch to a different part of your mouth (top left, bottom left, top right, bottom right). After two minutes, it pulses three times to let you know that you’ve brushed your teeth for long enough. If you are like me and easily lose track of time, this helps to keep you on track and gives you a routine to make sure you brush every part of your mouth. 

The Mini version that I have also lights up with a smiley face after you’ve brushed your teeth for two minutes, which is fun. In addition, if you have not brushed your teeth in over twelve hours, it lights up with a sad face. I thought this would be discouraging to me, but instead, it gives me an incentive to brush my teeth twice a day. 

Finally, one charge lasts for over 200 uses. It will last for much longer than a regular electric toothbrush which gives you fewer chances to forget to charge it. The head only needs to be replaced once a year, too, which takes away yet another complicated task to remember. 

Unfortunately, this toothbrush is rather expensive. The regular one costs $199 and the Mini one costs $119. I had to save up for a while to purchase it, but I think that it’s something that I will be able to use for years and years, and it’s been so helpful to me that it’s worth the money if you’re able. It’s sold online as well as at Sephora stores and is supposedly available worldwide. I really recommend this toothbrush to anyone, but especially to anyone with sensory issues or executive dysfunction who has trouble with regular toothbrushes. 

Studying any language is difficult. But here are a few of my top tips:

1. Find a good online dictionary that you can trust. My favourite is Spanishdict.

2. Listen to music in the target language. I listen to loads of Spanish music and I love it. If any one wants me to do a post on Spanish music then let me know. I’d be happy to!

3. Buy your favourite books/ books you want to read in the target language. Read it as if you would a normal book but each time you have to look up a word write it down in the margin of the book. Always reread a chapter.

4. Think in the language. Its often really hard to find someone to practise with you but by just trying to think in the language you are revising. So next time you are washing the dishes start thinking about your future goals but in the language.

5. Work abroad. I’ve done this twice now. I went to work in Spain as an Au Pair (I can also do a post on this if you want.) I learnt loads of colloquial Spanish. I also volunteered as a teaching assistant in the younger years when I was at school.

6. When you buy something new, check the label or the side of the box, bag etc to see if it has instructions or information in your target language. Read that first then only if you have to read it in your mother tongue.

7. Turn a notebook into your own personal dictionary. Every new word you learn right it in here then each week test yourself on a new page.

8. Watch films and tv shows in the language. Let me know if anyone wants any Spanish recommendation.

9. Don’t just learn the language, learn the culture and the history. Grab a book on the history of the country that speaks your target language and learn. The more you know and that!

10. Never give up. Put the grammar book down for a day or two and sulk about how hard it is and that you will never be fluent, but just never give up. If you do, you waste all the effort you’ve already put in!

                    Reblog if you’re a language learner!

Do you float in a dream too?

I’m so weak.

Cursed Child was dumb and here are some reasons why

(warning: spoilers. this probably won’t make sense unless you’ve read the script. far be it from me to recommend this kneazle-vomit of a play, though, so if you haven’t read it, good)

  • the plot is messy, strange, and childish. there’s only one time-turner left!! how will the characters cope when said time-turner is lost? oh lol they’ll just use this other convenient time-turner. for convenient plot points, see also: harry can suddenly speak parseltongue again, because well he just kind of needs to be able to do that
  • Harry cursing “oh dumbledore” without a hint of irony. like really? really
  • the characterisation was a pile of dragon dung and we all freaking know it. let’s break it down into individual characters here because fuck if I can stop at one bullet point for this
  • Hermione: the brightest witch of her age, the constant crusader for the unloved and the unrepresented, whose successful career and capacity for kindness apparently rest in the hands of her romance with Ron Weasley. oh… but wait. it sounds a little familiar, this story. hear me out. let’s see now, a highly intelligent person who falls in love but doesn’t have that love reciprocated, and who then becomes a really fucking mean teacher at Hogwarts through bitterness. sound like anyone we know? fam, they tried to parallel Hermione and Snape. Hermione and Snape. this being the same Snape who sneered in Hermione’s face when she’d been visibly hexed, and made her cry; the same Snape who bullied Neville Longbottom for years, while Hermione muttered instructions under her breath to help him. if you want to tell me that Hermione would ever allow herself to become a Snape parallel then I will kindly invite you to shove a dirigible plum where there’s no lumos solem
  • Harry: when Harry was at his angriest in OOTP, and he’s yelling at Ron and Hermione, there’s one thing we notice. everything he yells is true. he means it. he’s bitter about it and he’s loud and furious, but he doesn’t have the kind of anger that just says anything to cause hurt, that speaks without thinking, not even at this crisis point in his life. are you really going to tell me that the boy who knows down to his bones what it’s like to feel rejected, and misunderstood, and alone, would ever say - even in anger - that he wishes Albus wasn’t his son? I am going to snap wands over this
  • Cedric. and this one burns. because Cedric was brave and he was true, and he had a sense of justice that led him to telling Harry about the way the golden egg worked, and led him to sharing the winning of the triwizard tournament with Harry. he died, he was murdered at the age of seventeen, embodying a sense of justice so strong, an innocence, a goodness. Cedric Diggory - the boy who believed in fairness with an integrity that is astounding - becoming party to the indiscriminate killing and casual torture of the Death Eaters just because he had his head engorged one time… is about as likely as Hagrid stomping on a dragon egg. it’s an insult to who he was and I am going to engorge the entire bodies of the writers of this fucking play so that hopefully they’ll just float away too, with all the grace and likeability of Aunt Marge
  • Voldemort: can we all agree now that Voldemort would not father a child. the idea of him experiencing lust seems out of character; the idea of him giving into a base urge seems more so. it’s too human, too vulgar, too physical; it would associate him with the common and the mainstream in a way that I contend he would find repulsive. Tom Riddle Sr. was trapped by Merope into sex and romance; to have sex would be to bring himself closer to his parents, down to the level of a Muggle and a witch who lacked power and craved love, two things Voldemort could never, ever stand. no. he wouldn’t have sex just because he wanted to; he’d be repelled by the idea. what other reason could there be for him to do the nasty with Bellatrix? to ensure the continuation of his line? that makes even less sense. achieving immortality for Voldemort was always a question of magic, a personal quest. he wouldn’t go for a messy, physical back-up plan. he always thought that he would win. if anything, he would see a child as a future threat, not a security. another being in the world with the promise of his power? he wouldn’t risk it.
  • what the fuck was that trolley witch scene though
  • “for voldemort and valour” are you serious. is there a Gryffindor spy in the Voldemort camp laughing their ass off because they actually managed to get that one through. and are they ten years old
  • overall, the message of the play infuriated me. Delphi was the child of Voldemort, so she was evil. Albus was the child of Harry, so he was good. Scorpius was the son of Draco, so he should have been evil, but Draco’s actually kind of good now and his mother was nice, so he can be good too. where is the complexity? was five hours of drama not enough to find some shades of morality? where is the hope, where is the resonance, in a story that says that good begets good and evil begets evil, and nothing can really change? the Harry Potter book series was about a boy who grew up with something inside him that was utterly evil, and who rejected it, fought against it, changed the path that fate seemed to wish him to walk. not slytherin, not slytherin. we had Regulus Black and Sirius Black, who rejected their pasts, whose heritage and whose House stood for nothing against their principles, their eventual and separate forms of bravery. we had Remus Lupin, who transformed into a monster but never became one, not even after years of rejection and pain. we had the word mudblood, and we watched Hermione fight it, we knew it was ridiculous to label someone based on their blood. and now… we have the Cursed Child. a play which is flat, and stupid, and tells us that your parentage inevitably dictates your character - and that how you’re treated is how you’ll treat others. dear writers, in the words of Albus Dumbledore, you fail to recognise that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be. you fucks.