this-is-my-reality

6

WESTWORLD | 1.10 | Felix & Maeve

Can you get him back online?

I was just thinking about Reyna and whether I wanted her to be confirmed as a lesbian or stay single and show that you don’t need romantic love but then my brain was like “but what about the wlw rep??”

And I was like “what are you talking about we have Piper” and then I remembered that PIPER ISN’T ACTUALLY CANONICALLY QUEER wtf I’m rolling I legit forgot Piper is straight

Trigger Warning!

Dear my rapist,

When I finally told my parents about what happened in May, they said that I could’ve fought back. They said with my martial arts I should’ve done something. But I couldn’t do anything but let it happen.

I was so scared. And to have my own parents tell me I could’ve done something when I was terrified to the point I couldn’t even cry…I thought they were right because mom said she knew women who fought back when it was done to them. And my dad said I could’ve done something.

But I looked it up. Different stories. Different articles. And yes, it happens. Freezing up happens. It’s not my fault. I couldn’t do anything and that is an accurate response.

My parents made me feel like my experience was something I could control. But the reality was I couldn’t do anything. I’m going to accept that even if they don’t.

-Your victim

youtube

I want you all to witness my dreams become a reality.

I just can’t believe the world is a real place and I’m almost convinced that everything is out here to get me and I’m the only person that exists and everyone else is fake everything else is fake and it’s terrifying and I hate this I’m so paranoid. I know I’m crazy but this is my reality- that I’m the only thing that’s real and everything else is either imagined or created…. so so scary. I hate this so much. I have no one who understands. I feel like there’s a fog around me and I’m in a bubble and I’m so disconnected from everything around me

westworld, part 1.
s1e1 - the original.

  • i’m sorry. i’m not quite feeling myself.
  • do you know where you are?
  • i’m in a dream.
  • would you like to wake up from this dream.
  • i’m terrified.
  • there’s nothing to be afraid of, ____, as long as you answer my questions correctly.
  • have you ever questioned the nature of your reality?
  • tell us what you think of your world.
  • some people choose to see the ugliness in this world. the disarray. i choose to see the beauty. to believe there is an order to our days, a purpose.
  • you’re new. not got much of a rind on you.
  • i’d rather earn a woman’s affection than pay for it.
  • don’t mind me — just trying to look chivalrous.
  • you saying i’m predictable?
  • there’s a path for everyone. your path leads you back to me.
  • you still don’t remember me, do you? after all we’ve been through.
  • winning doesn’t mean anything unless someone else loses. which means you’re here to be the loser.
  • i’ll do whatever you say!
  • every new person i meet reminds me how lucky i am to be alive, and how beautiful this world can be.
  • perfect’s boring.
  • we should be cautious.
  • i’ll take care of it myself.
  • they don’t make that like they used to.
  • i’m not a child anymore.
  • it’s beautiful. your brow. when you’re angry but trying to control it, the fine muscles pull into a little arc. it’s elegant.
  • this place is fucking wild.
  • there’s bandits in these hills.
  • the guy’s gonna chase his demons right over the deep end.
  • i’m beginning to think you’re getting sweet on me.
  • ‘mistakes’ is the word you’re too embarrassed to use. you ought not to be. you’re a product of a trillion of them.
  • evolution forged the entirety of sentient life on this planet using only one tool. the mistake.
  • about three litres. that’s how much blood i left in you. lose more than that, you die.
  • i don’t play. i only deal.
  • you should go. leave. don’t you see? hell is empty and all the devils are here.
  • i can barely contain myself.
  • you’re all here indulging your particular vices, and so i’ve come to indulge mine.
  • no matter how dirty the business, do it well.
  • problem with the righteous? they can’t shoot for shit.
  • it didn’t look like anything to me.
  • what do you want to say to your maker?
  • the things i will do… what they are, yet i know not, but they will be the terrors of the earth.
  • you’re in a prison of your own sins.
  • no cause for alarm, ____. simply our old work coming back to haunt us.
  • come on, sweetheart.
  • i know things will work out the way they’re meant to.

This is a quick hello to my new followers! First of all *THANK YOU* Several of you I have followed back and look forward to reading your blogs.

What you will find here, along with sims 3, is a friendly, welcoming place for ALL people filled with humor and playful sarcasm. I play other games (mostly Forza) and I listen to EDM. I watch Supernatural, and lust for Tom Hiddleston (those are big hints to what OT stuff you’ll see.) Anything that is not sims related gets tagged PERSONAL or NONSIMS

I make sims 3 poses (and yes, I’m already making a new batch!) 

If I disappear it’s most likely because I am a published author, working on other projects. It has not reduced my love for Sims! Dear gods don’t judge my writing here for what I write in reality! My editor would kill me for half the things I post! But this is where my fun is, so let’s do this fun thing together!

I know it gets tiring to see wolf therians around, I myself am sick of them too. That’s why on this blog I will mainly focus on sharing knowledge from the Greater Otherkin Community so people can learn, also every now and then share some of my own writings probably, and also I’d like to crush romanticized ideas and facts about wolves that are far from reality.

What is important: even if my theriotype is ridiculously common, therian’s experiences should continue to be shared, in my opinion.

Just quick info about me: I am a female, 25+ years old, have been around the therian community not for too long, around three years. I’m on Werelist and TG. I have lurked around this therian-tumblr-mess for years too, without intervening. I have questioned my theriotype since I discovered therianthropy. I still question myself, question therianthropy as a whole, and my journey of self-discovery is far from being over yet. I’ve spent many months, questioning, but mostly, studying other animals, doing research. I studied all other species of canines, alive and extinct, as well as many other types of animals, hybrids, and even mythologicals. I identified as a coyote for a while, then went back to questioning, studying and meditating, because it didn’t feel right, like I was “forcing” it. Although I am more on the scientific-psychological reasoning behind my therianthropy so I focused more on the research and the studying. If you ask me, I do not wish to be a wolf therian tbh. It’s just… mundane. I get sick of seeing so many of them that’s why I haven’t been too active in the forums until more recently. But I can’t run from who I am any more or try to “force” some other theriotype in me like I have in the past several times just because I don’t like the wolf “scene”. I mean ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it is what it is, like it or not. And that’s another reason why I created this page now, because I finally came to terms with it.

I find myself absent in my own company, existing in a reality where i do not belong.
Fading into melancholy, my sorrows drag me into the ground. The belief of love keeps my neck above the dirt. I grow again, flourishing, unrecognisable to man.

me, inwardly: I have issues identifying as purely a lesbian because my reasons for doing so were “only attracted to women, could only see myself in a longterm committed relationship with a woman” but the reality is that my ability to be attracted to people is weird and stunted and ignores gender and at this point in my life I genuinely don’t see myself spending my life with anyone in particular and tbh I just want a label something along the lines of “angry swamp monster who cannot be touched.”

me, outwardly: I guess I’m bi??? lmao fuck off.

Please Excuse Me I Don't Mean to be Rude, But Tonight I'm Drawing You

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2gZWo1m

by Shisetsu

All my life I’ve been drawing, it was my escape from reality. I could express my feelings on that piece of paper, drawing people, drawing myself, drawing scenery, nature…

So how could I suddenly just, get sick of it?

AU where Viktor Nikiforov is an artist but suddenly his motivation goes like poof.

Words: 602, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English



read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2gZWo1m
CHRIS SCHISTAD IMAGINE

REQUESTED by @ourspacevanity

“Can you write me imagine with Chris? Like im jealous of Eva and I go to a party and Chris gets really mad or smth haha?”

Eva.
God shes beautiful. With those long flawless hair. With those full pink lips. With her bright smile.
No wonder why Penetrator Chris has his eyes on her.
Damn why am i thinking that ?! Urgh i dont even know why im thinking about him. Hes such an immature selfish and sexually frustrated fuckboy.

“Hey y/n to earth !”
Hanna my friend snapped me back to reality
“Yeah ?”
“Wheres the adress ?”
“The adress ?”
“God y/n ! Chris’s house adress for the party !”
“Oh yeah sorry. Hm its the 4th house on the right”
“Great. Im glad you are back on that earth”

We laughed at her remarks wrapping my arm around her shoulder.
A few minutes later we were in front of Chris house.
We could already hear loud music and people from where we were standing.

I glared at Hannah. She smiled at me and took my hand. I took a deep breath and walk over the door.
Welcom to hell.

When i opened the door the smell of alcohol hit my face so bad i felt like i was going to throw up right in the second.

“Dont even dare leaving me Hannah”
I said - no screamed- in my friend ear
“Im not suicidal!”

We made our way to the drinks trying to avoid people from schools. We werent really popular but we werent looser either. Lets say we were below average.

We are standing on a wall for now an hour with our drink in our hands.
I think it was my second shot. Im not counting the five others shots i took of course.

There she was.
Eva.
That bitch. Looking all innocent. Trying to avoid people standing by herse…
Oh fuck no. God Chris ?!

Hes there standing next to her, with that stupid smirk on his face. God dont you see shes. Not. Interrest.

I dont understand him. He can be an open book you can read very easily. You know the kind of book you read to 2 years old. And at the same time he can be such a mistery.

I couldnt see very clear anymore. My ears started not to receive the music that was playing louder than ever. My legs started to shivered. And my eyes were hard to open. As if my eyelashes were made of rock.

“Y/n ? Hey y/n”

Before i could know it i felt on the floor. The last thing i saw was Chris’s gaze locked on me.


A few minutes after i passed out, i was sitting on a bed next to Hannah.

“Hey, do you want me to get you some water ?”
“No its okay” i mumbled under my breath still not recovered of what happened.
“Come one you will feel better. I’ll be back in a few, stay there y/n”

I saw her smile down at me and watched her leave the room.

I looked down at my feet. God why am i like that. I cant even handle alcohol.

I heard a knock on the door. Chris was standing there looking at me.

“Dont knock its your house”
“Yeah i’m aware”
He walked over to me and sat next to me.
My heart started to beat faster. His cologne was so soft to my nose.

“So you are the one who stole the show right ? Pretty original way to get my attention”
I looked at him with my eyebrows furrowed.
“What” i whisered.
Chris smirked and came closer to me.
“Come on i saw you looking at me while i was flirting with girls. Just assume you wanted to have a taste of our local Penetrator Chris too!”
“I have my dignity”
“Oh exscuse me princess.”
He stood up and started walking away.
Then he turned around and smirked at me.

“Dont be jealous of her you know y/n. You are on my hit list too. But at the end. Here stands the best”

With those words and a last wink, he lived me there. Alone. Music still playing loud and people chatting. I stood shook… wait he knows my name ?

whore-i-fying  asked:

hi brittany :) i know in a video of yours you were covering up a hickey and said you don't really care if people see or not. i'm curious, has christopher or someone who has topped you left visible bruising on you that you didn't cover up? if so, if you were asked about it what would you say?

I don’t flaunt my intense bruises. With domestic violence and the realities that BDSM isn’t legal in most places, I try to be sensitive to the reality that some might not understand the BDSM part of my relationship. 

If people see bruises, I just say a half truth, I wrestle at a local gym and it gets rough. Which is true, if you take into account the fact that we wrestle at the BDSM center.

People are fine with people beating the shit out of each other in sports but god forbid, it’s BDSM. 

I believe in fairness. I believe in equality whenever possible. I believe in shared responsibility. 

I know fairness in most contexts is just an out-dated fantasy. Something that is taught on the playground, but really not appropriate for real life and real hearts. Regardless of this knowledge, I still come at the world from a point of fairness. Irrational; not really possible to manifest - but there it is. When things are not fair I struggle to connect my sense of the world with the reality of it. It is regularly one of my major emotional and mental disconnects. 

I wish I were not a vindictive person. But I kind of am. And I think it is because of this fucked up ideology. This relativistic view of the world that deems my morals and ideas of what is fair as what is truly what is fair.

I’m feeling very vindictive today because the way I am hurting is not fair. And I was not the one to cause this pain.