This season’s Christmas Special will be a true banger. Louis’ paternity test will be revealed live on the X Factor, Danielle and Briana seen fighting in the background. Louis Walsh will be shouting through it all that the latest boyband will
be a girlband as soon as he can think of a name for them. In the hastily started commercial break, cousin Ashley catches Simon is on the phone, trying to set up a stunt for Harry with Susan Boyle, and puts it on Snapchat. An unknown child who will forever be named Conchobar in my mind will simply crawl out of the studio unsupervised. Cheryl will steal him and raise him as her own. It will look more like B’s stepfather every day and not a bit like Liam. Nobody will wonder how she gave birth to a 11 month old baby because celebrities’s pregnancies never make sense.
Louis ignores it all and emails the rest of the boys that break’s over. Time to start planning that 2017 MITAM tour.