this-is-for-your-eyes-only

When you start to know someone, all their physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in their energy, recognize the scent of their skin. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with beauty. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and your body but not your heart. And that’s why, when you really connect with a person’s inner self, any physical imperfections disappear, become irrelevant.
—  Lisa Unger, Beautiful Lies

anonymous asked:

Can I just say that it's a little disheartening to be left out by Beyonce when I look up to her so much? I'm not black so of course I can't relate to a lot of the lyrics of Formation and this is just making me realize how much a feminist she isn't because she's not supporting the solidarity of all women and is only looking to separate herself from everyone else.

not millions of black girls having to endure their whole lives hearing music filled with lyrics about how great and beautiful “blue/green eyes” + “pink lips” + “blonde hair” are and being excited when someone as iconic as beyonce decides to drop kick the demand that we are to accept our features down our throats when your delicate sensibilities are to be protected 🙄

the orange girl, ch 12.

Mafia!BTS | Reader x Yoongi

The story of a big time Mafia boss, and a girl who has spent the past three years of her life locked up behind bars and between walls of cement, holding secrets that he has been dying to know.

Ch 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12

Tuesday, 3rd November 2015

12:16AM | Clan of Clandestine, Base Four

Kiyoung. Kiyoung. Kiyoung.

The name of your baby brother avalanched your every other thought, reciprocated in the way you hummed it into the dark locks of his hair, eyes screwed tightly shut as you held him closer. The last time you saw him was long before you were sentenced to steel bars and orange jumpsuits, almost too far behind in the past to hold onto, but you always remained to have the desperation of an older sister trying to remember the details of the only family she had left. 

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2

“I don’t understand… Why is it called ‘The Breakfast Club’? Do they actually eat breakfast together? Is that all this film is about? Muggles are quite interesting characters…” Fred Weasley questioned casually flipping the film case back and forth between his grip. “No Fred, of course not! It’s about-" 

The other quick witted twin entered the room snatching a spot of the far left of the couch before his brother could claim a spot or you. George reached forward and examined the stack of movies pilled high on the coffee table. "And what about this one? 'Ferris Buller’s Day Off’? I reckon this Ferris lad takes a day off work, hm?” You giggled to yourself and rolled your eyes taking the only spot the twins left open for you on the couch in between them. 

Fred threw his arm around your delicate shoulder as George casually slid his large, yet relaxed hand, into your own. “I suppose you could say so… It’s sort of along those lines, George.” Fred rose from the couch and inserted a disc. You and George shared a pointed look of curiosity.

“Um, Fred… what film did you choose?” The tall red headed snatched a throw blanket from the ground and spread it out among the three of you, resorting back to his original spot on the couch. George groaned in an over dramatized show of agony, leaning over and resting his head on your shoulder causing you to giggle.

“Oh Fred, please don’t tell me you chose some sappy romance! I’m not in the mood to see our dear love here bawl her eye out tonight.” You gasped and acted almost rapidly in swatting your boyfriends side. He chuckled loudly and playfully held his side.

“Hey now! I’m not even that bad-” It was now the other twins turn to jump in and make his point made.

“Darling you cried during that Piper Pan film and the other one with the big ship and that wasn’t even remotely sad!” Both brothers shared a laugh as well as a high five while you slumped down further into the couch’s cushion. The previous black screen shifted into a bright white display as the main title began to roll.

“First off Fred, it’s called Peter Pan… not Piper Pan and the one with the big ship is Titanic, love. Secondly, it’s all in the eyes of the behold and honestly I found that movie just heartbreaking in the end!” A familiar song played with the main menu and you instantly rolled your eyes knowing exactly what it was. “Are you kidding me, Fred. What in the world made you want to watch this?” George gave a confuse side glance and a cheeky smirk lined Fred’s pink lips.

“I’m not sure, beautiful. It just sounded so appealing, ‘Dirty Dancing’. Mysterious too.” George hollered in laughter seeming more focused than ever on the picture playing in front of him. 

“What am I gonna do with you boys, oh my!” Your boyfriends wasted but not a second to lean forward and place a chaste kiss on your rosy cheeks. That of course buttered you up enough to let the movie choice slid and melt back into the warm grips of your favorite twins and enjoy the rest of the day. 

“But we love you, Y/n-”
“And you’re stuck with us forever!” You shrugged softly and smiled at both of the eager boys.

“That’s alright I wouldn’t really mind forever with you boys… now as much as I love you two, be quiet the movie is starting!”


-Daizy xx

Aries // I can hear your bones catching on fire, what a scary sound that must make to your ears already half deaf from your tired screams.

Taurus // You’ve gone to great lengths to preserve your opinion, but now that you know you are wrong, can your body handle the blame.

Gemini // It might be time you started thinking through what you say, your mind moves much faster then your tongue and you are ruining your lips from biting down on them so much.

Cancer // I know you think that telling your sadness has stopped the tears, you’re eyes might be dry but my mouth keeps filling up with salt water.

 Leo // I only talk about the brightness of your mane, but I seem to keep forgetting how deeply your claws sank into my skin time after time, maybe it’s time you gave us a warning and spared us some pain.

Virgo // Pushing out your collar bones and lengthening your torso does not make you look any more proud then how you feel, they say “fake it ‘till you make it” but you’re no actor.

Libra // Do you judge fairness by what you see or what you hear? because the truth is only the truth is you know it in your heart.

Scorpio // Jealousy is not like blood cell, it doesn’t just naturally run in your veins and it is not like a cold either, you cant catch it in the air.

Sagittarius // The amount of air your lungs need to feel free is the same as everyone else, I know you say it’s stronger then you, but really you’re just falling pray to your head.

Capricorn // Your ill tolerance is becoming poison to more then just those around you, if you wish to be like that at least spare your own blood.

Aquarius // Your fear of not being different enough is simply because you know that once you’re nothing but bones, the archeologists won’t be able to tell the difference between you and them.

Pisces // I think you’re starting to realize that some of the dirt underneath your fingernails, need more then just water and soap to clean.

//Words for the signs + body parts\  ~M.E. Rue 

8 Ways To Say I Love You - #6

“Hey Sam, do you have th-” Your words stopped short as your head popped into Sam’s empty room. The only chance of you finding the book you were looking for now was searching through Sam’s desk on your own.

The small light on the desk was already on, papers, books and photos were splayed across the wooden piece. As you leafed through the research, something caught your attention. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw an envelop in the waste bin with your name written on it in horrific cursive handwriting.

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I’m just going to take a minute here to talk about Safe and Sound and how purely beautiful and amazing this song is and how important it is to me
The first lyric that really gets to me is ‘When all those shadows almost killed your light’ because that, in my opinion, basically just describes all the bad people and experiences you could have had in your life that almost completely burn you down to the stage where you feel you’re fully broken and alone and there's only dark, sadness surrounding you, and barely any light or happiness (although in my situation, the light I did have was Taylor)
Then the next part which I love and relate to with my entire being is the chorus; ‘Just close your eyes, the sun is going down, you’ll be alright, no one can hurt you now, come morning light, you and I’ll be safe and sound’ and I love it so much because during the night is when all your darkest thoughts have the chance to come out, as you’re not kept busy and there are no distractions thus you have so much time to think and ponder about life, so basically it’s saying to close your eyes and sleep when the sun goes down and you’ll be alright because those dark thoughts and reminders of terrible things people have said to/about you can’t reach you while you’re asleep, they can’t hurt you when you’re in that state of unconsciousness. And then when the morning light comes and you wake up, you’ll be safe and sound because those thoughts haven’t had the chance to damage you you, as you were asleep.
Then you’ve got ‘Don’t you dare look out your window, darling everything’s on fire, the war outside our door keeps raging on’ and I’m not too sure on this one but it could be interpreted as just don’t let your thoughts fray from the peaceful part of your mind into the dark part because it will damage and hurt you, seeing something that was once so bright now being/already reduced to ashes
And finally, you have ‘Hold onto this lullaby even when the music’s gone’ and I believe that could mean you should hold on to all your happiest memories and moments throughout life, even when all hope and happiness seems to be lost and gone. Hold onto the one bright thing you have even when everything else bright is gone. Always have hope, even in the darkest of times
Honestly, I love this song with the entirety of my being

Serpentine (M)

Genre: Slight smut
Word count: 1,522
Content: Open-top car. Deafening music. Holding back.
Author’s note: Inspired by “Sex” by The 1975.
Author’s note [2]: This is my first actually posted scenario, and I know I have a long road of practice ahead of me, but I hope you can enjoy it still xoxo


His hair was flapping in the wind, and thus resembled flames more than usual. The roof of his Mini Cooper was open, letting the warm breeze caress your soft skin - the only matter allowed to do so in his presence. The car was moving down a serpentine - the sea on your right, a volatile red head on your left.
Talking was pointless - the music that was exploding from the speakers was drowning out every other sound, so you just leaned on the door of the car and fascinated, stared at your boyfriend, secretly smiling to yourself.
Jimin was squinting his eyes from all the piercing sunlight; he was aggressively singing to a song resounding from the speakers, trying to hit the notes together with Matty Healy, whose voice was resonating perfectly with the scenery. When the beat started to build up with blaring sounds of electro-guitars that were pounding on the back of your head, Jimin started to vigorously shake his head and standing up, still holding onto the steering wheel. His eyes were shut, his full lips were slightly opened, letting him partake the cold air.
Finally, he rose. You were looking at him from below, not daring to try and reach for him - it would’ve been pointless anyway, because at that moment he was closer to heaven than anyone in the world.
Not looking at the road and relying on his instincts only, Jimin caused the car to slightly drift, but you weren't scared a single bit because the moment was perfect and you were overflowing with happiness and tranquility; even if the car was to break away from the cliff, you wouldn’t be scared, for you were engulfed by the strong smell of the sea, sounds of your favourite song and the feeling of a high your boyfriend was radiant with.

//She’s got a boyfriend anyway//

You got any side boyfriend, Y/N?,“ Jimin asked, winking at you after he sat back down.
"Of course,” you answered, playfully. Toying with Jimin’s ego was quite amusing, even if only for the giggles.
He nodded, eyes still fixed on the road.
“Mind introducing me to him some time?” he asked, tilting his head with a smirk.
You rolled your eyes, deciding to play along. “Sure. In fact, I’m going to introduce you to him right here, right now," you said, baring your neck and pointing at a huge, dark-violet hickey on your skin. Jimin glanced at it and looked back on the road.
"The guy’s nobody’s fool,” he said wistfully. 
You pursed your lips and tilted your head, drawing closer to the guy.
“Hasn’t anyone given you a hickey before, big boy?” you said, grinning.
Jimin glanced at you and smirked.“My side girlfriend wasn’t generous enough,” he answered archly, licking his plump red lips. They were so tempting, so inviting; you couldn’t look away from them.
You felt yourself throbbing at your core. Jimin knew perfectly that once you gain that feeling, nothing will stop you until you calm it down.
“Well, I don't know if I can compete with your side girlfriend,” you said, holding onto his shoulder, bringing your face closer to the skin on Jimin’s neck, “but some people still cry for my hickeys.”
With that being said, you placed a wet kiss on Jimin’s neck and blew on it. His skin covered with goosebumps, and you shifted contentedly. He still hasn’t said a word, eyes locked on the serpentine road in front of him. His grip on the steering wheel tightened, knuckles threatening to jump out of the tight skin. It was hard for him to keep it together. 
Usually, Jimin was the one in power. He'd drive you crazy with his soft lips and ever so loving hands, making you beg for him. It never happened other way around, and you surely didn’t mind the change, especially knowing that he would love nothing more than to take it out on you later. As soon as you walked into the apartment you both were renting for the summer, he’d press your back against the door with himself pressed against you so close, you’d feel the warmth of his syrup-like breath on your skin. He’d fill his fist with your hair, tugging on it, causing you this light sweet pain you were so much in love with, and then, and then…
Still drunk with the intoxicating feeling of playing with fire, you placed your lips in the crook of Jimin’s neck once again, this time sucking on the skin.
He filtered the air through his teeth with a hiss, and you knew that at that moment, you could become the cause of a car accident.
“Shit, if this serpentine had a roadside, I’d swerve this goddamn second and fuck some manners into you,” he growled menacingly, yet so sexually.
You felt yourself starting to drip down there and bit his earlobe, refusing to stop this wicked one-sided game. Jimin let out a tiny moan - you knew all his weak spots.
“Fuck, what are you doing to me?” he muttered, hoping you wouldn’t hear, because there was nothing he hated more than to appear unsteady in front of you. But right now this feeling of dominance felt amazing to you. You didn't want it to end and decided to play further.
Still nibbling and sucking on the same sweet spot on Jimin’s neck, your right hand slowly moved from it’s position on his chest to his abdomen and stopped at the belt of his ripped jeans. The wind was running through his hair, the flames kissing your face. You smiled at the ticklish feeling of his soft hair against your cheeks - one of the best feelings in the world (all best feelings were always leading to Jimin).
Your hand stopped at his belt and you carefully looked at his face, trying to detect whether he wanted you to carry on. He was biting on his bottom lip and heavily breathing - a right sign for moving further.
You shifted your hand down slowly, but as soon as you groped his rock hard bulge, Jimin grabbed you hand and put it back on his chest, taking you aback.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” he shook his head. “Be careful, Princess. I doubt you’d want to be punished more than you're already going to be,” he warned you, making you gulp in anticipation.
The serpentine now ended and the car was heading further down the highway.
You bit your lower lip, images flooding you head: Jimin slamming you against the wall, taking you from behind, working you as sweaty and sore as always.
“Or would I?..” you smirked right into his ear, slightly biting on it, sending shivers down Jimin’s spine.
He loudly exhaled and aggressively, eagerly even, spun the steering wheel, causing you to press into him even more.
“Fuck this, I’m swerving,” he panted. “Get in the backseat right now,” his voice was stern as he hurriedly parked the car and pressed the button that closed the roof. 
You immediately climbed out of your seat, taking your blouse off at the same time, leaving only your bra and high-waisted shorts on. You lied in the backseat, watching your beautiful boyfriend take his shirt off, baring the abs and biceps he’s been working out so hard for. It was difficult to breathe because of the huge lump in your throat; your legs were shaking as your whole nature was itching to feel him touch you in any way.
Jimin climbed over the armrest and grabbed you by your hips, drawing your body closer to his. In five seconds, your shorts were nowhere to be seen.
“I’m going to fuck you so hard, you won’t be able to move a limb till the end of this ride,” he panted out, voice raspy with craving as he cupped you between your legs with his one hand, unzipping his pants with another, “but don’t you think for one fleeting moment that I’m going to leave it aside when we arrive home,” Jimin whispered loudly as he suddenly inserted two digits into the centre of you heat, curling them to reach your spot. You gasped for air, nails digging into the leather upholstery of the salon.
He turned the situation in his favor, becoming dominant again. You enjoyed controlling him for a couple of minutes but you were longing for the Jimin you knew perfectly, the Jimin who would make you scream his name so the whole world could hear, while he would be enjoying the show, smirking and loving every single bit of it. And that was the Jimin that was hanging over you at that very moment: gaze dark and concentrated with lust, growling sounds flying out of his mouth every now and then, filling the car with the stinging feeling of anticipation.
“I haven’t come up with a proper punishment for you yet, Princess,” he murmured, placing wet kisses all over your chest, “but I promise, you’ll be begging for more on your knees,” he panted out with a smirk as he pressed himself to your aching core.

@ the tauradonna shippers who keep trying to justify adam beating, stabbing, and emotionally abusing blake by saying Blake is at fault for running away from him and not standing up for herself more
just???? accept that the ship is abusive in canon and move on with your life???? I’m not even saying to stop shipping it because I know it won’t make a difference but honestly you’re just kidding yourself if you don’t think tauradonna is ridiculously abusive and harmful towards blake. that or you have an extremely warped idea of what love is.
and stop being abuse apologists??? victims are never asking for abuse when they try to distance themselves from their abusers.

Exo’s Reaction to you teasing them when they want a kiss

Xiumin:

*You two were chilling with the boys and while you were telling them a story about your childhood you see Xiumin staring at you. But the only thing he was staring at was your lips and he bit his as he looked at yours. You knew he wanted a kiss so after telling the story you decide to tease him. You do so by biting your lip. After seeing you do this he looks up to your eyes and as he does this you wink at him letting him know that you knew what he wanted. So he does this (gif) so you’ll know that he was going to get that kiss later.*

Luhan:

*You came home from work and you noticed that Luhan was still not home.You get into comfortable clothes and make yourself dinner. While eating by yourself you start to get bored so you start walking around. As you are doing this Luhan comes home from work. You greet him and since you were bored, when he came to give you a kiss you turn your head so his kiss lands on your cheek. He laughs and then looks at you straight in the eyes. You push him back where he ends up on the sofa and you sit on his lap. You give him a passionate kiss and just walk away. Before walking away he grabs your hand and you look back at him.*

Luhan: “Should we go the bedroom?”

Kris:

*He was packing his stuff so he could leave for the airport. As he does this you just sit on the bed and admire how sexy and hot your boyfriend is. He notices that you were staring at him so he stares back to you. You get up and pretend to give him a kiss but all you do is brush your lips with his and walked away so he just licks and bite his lip.*

Kris: *to himself* “I can’t  believe she just did that…”

Suho:

*After taking a shower you see him just come out with a jacket on with the zipper undone (like gif) and sweatpants. You get a bit turned on by this but you try not to show it. Suho goes to where you were sitting to give you a kiss but you quickly sit up and avoid his kiss. You tease him by gracing your hand over his chest and then start walking towards the bedroom.*

Suho: *gif basically explains what he does*

Lay:

*Tonight you decided to go to Lay’s concert. You were with him backstage until the concert started. Before going on stage he wanted to give you a kiss so when he went for the kiss you backed away and said no with your finger and then after winking at him you go to your seat. You were having a great time at the show. During one of the songs though, Lay finds you in the crowd and does *gif* letting you know he was going to get that kiss and more after the show.*

Baekhyun:

*Dinner time came and you guys decided to go to a fancy restaurant. Your waitress takes you to your table and takes your order. After she leaves you guys just start chatting about random things. You guys even start playing footsie under the table. Baekhyun can’t help but get a little turned on. At some point he just couldn’t handle it anymore and stands up and reaches for your face across the table to give you a kiss. You pretend to get up and kiss him but all you do is stand up and fix your dress and sit back down. He smiles and sits back down trying to calm himself down and just bites his lip.*

Chen:

*You guys were hanging out with the boys and suddenly Chen grabs your hand and drags you to the hallway. He pins you to the wall and starts to kiss your neck and then makes his way up to your mouth but you don’t let him kiss you. Every time he tried to kiss you, you moved your face so he would kiss only your cheeks.*

Chen: “Ahh stop moving! I want a kiss.”

Chanyeol:

*You were waiting for Chanyeol outside where he worked. You were against the wall on your phone waiting for him and you didn't notice that he came out. He surprises you and puts his hand above your head on the wall. He goes in for a kiss but to tease him by sliding down so he wouldn’t kiss you and you just walk to the car. As you look back to see how he felt about this all you see is him looking away and then turning to look at you with a smile.*

Kyungsoo:

*You two were playing around, tickling each other. But before you know it he starts to grab your butt at random moments and you do the same. He finally pulls you in for a kiss that he’s been wanting for but before he could kiss you, you managed to get out of his grip and run to the bedroom. He smiles and follows you. You sit on the bed waiting for him to come in and when he finally does he looks at you and laughs.*

Kyungsoo: “Oh no no no no, you don’t get to do this to me. Give me a kiss!”

*As he said this he runs to you and while laying you down he starts to kiss you.*

Tao:

*Today Tao had a photo-shoot so he invited you to come with him since you’ve never been to one. After taking a few photos the cameraman asked you if you wanted to take a photo with Tao and you agreed. The stylist gives you a cute outfit to wear for the photo; so, you go an put it on. You come out and as soon as Tao sees you he can’t help but run to you and kiss you. But every time he would kiss you, you would back away until he just stopped trying. You laugh and wink at him. He goes to the spot you two will be shooting at.*

Tao: “Come here.”

*When you stand next to him right before the picture is taken he steals the kiss he tried giving you earlier.*

Kai:

*You accompanied him and the boys to an interview since you were going to eat with them after they finished. You and Kai chat while everyone gets ready and after getting called to go with the rest of the boys he tries to give you a kiss on the lips but you give him your cheek instead. After he left, you decide to stand behind the camera since you were bored in the dressing room. You knew that just being there was teasing Kai so you decide to wink at him and see what he would do.*

Kai: *gif*

Sehun:

*You haven’t been to the movie theater in a long time so you invite Sehun to come with. You picked a Rom-com movie even though he didn't want to watch that. The movie starts and he grabs your hand and holds it for the rest of the movie. At a kissing scene he looks at you and you look back at him. He goes in a for the kiss but you just look back at the movie.*

Y/N: “Stop, I’m trying to watch the movie.”

*You let out a little giggle which gave him the hint that you were teasing him.*

Sehun: *bites his lip* “Stop teasing me, Jagi.”

*After saying this you both laugh and he grabs your face and gives you a long passionate kiss.*

TRUE LIES chapter four.

“Faster.” He pressures, eyes set on her as Aurora picks up the pace only for a few seconds before her arms start hurting so much that she has to slow down again. “I said faster!” Harry raises the volume of his voice this time and it’s enough for her to stop and take a step back.

“Stop yelling at me!”

“I’ll stop yelling when you’re focused on this.”

“Forgot to take the stick out of your arse today?” She spits back, that strange feeling she now recognizes as anger building up inside her.

“Did you think this was gonna be easy, princess?”

READ ON 1DFF, OR HERE ON TUMBLR. // STORY PAGE

Doll face (Jimin the Tease)

*I don’t even know what to call this lol*

“Correct, Miss Y/N.” You smiled triumphantly and felt a pencil hit you in the head as your teacher turned around.

“Sorry, doll face. Didn’t see you there.” You rolled your eyes, him laughing at your annoyed look.

“It’s not funny.” Such an idiot. Tsk.

Park Jimin.

The school’s heartbreaker, and the King of getting into any girl to drop her skirt. He acted like he ruled the school with him and his friends.

You on the other hand was unimpressed by him, he only had his looks and his ability to dance. You weren’t going to deny him of both talents but it didn’t stop you from almost hating his guts.

To make matters worse, he has a cute baby face and you were unfortunately shorter than him, making him tease you for your height.

His friends were nicer to you, not joining with him sometimes when he picks on you. Or stopping other kids from picking on you. It was strange how they would only protect you from everyone else except Jimin.

“Tsk.” You turned back to the front and spent the rest of class, taking down notes. You answered more questions during class than your class’s genius, Namjoon.

He was part of Jimin’s group, oddly enough. He wouldn’t stray from doing his work but still managed to hang out with them. He’s the one that doesn’t put up with Jimin, making them bicker sometimes.

“Done.” He said, finishing the homework assigned 20 minutes ago. You had one question left from the homework before, someone snatched your book.

You could tell from the hand that grabbed your book and the body of the person that was Jimin, who strikes again.

“Hey, doll face. You mind if I borrow this?”

Another thing you’ve grown to dislike about him, he’d never call you by your name. Just ‘doll face’.

“Give it back, Jimin.”

“Talking back today, doll face? You usually glare at me.”

“Jimin, leave me-”

“Could you two stop flirting, I’m trying to study.” Namjoon said, annoyed by you two.  He turned back to reading his book, ignoring you two again.

You opened your mouth to snap at him when Jimin grabbed your hand and took you into a empty classroom. He pushed you in and locked the door, with his back against the door.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Jimin?”

“I love how feisty you are, doll face.”

“And can you quit calling me doll face, I’m not one of your little fuck toys.”

“No can do, doll face. And you’re much more than my little play thing.” He moved closer to you, making you move back.

“W-What are you doing-”

“Stuttering now, aren’t we?”

“Shut up-”

You hit a desk,and he prowled on you. You put your hands on his chest to stop him from leaning in.

“Don’t want to kiss me, doll?”

“I-I’m not going to kiss someone like you.”

“Is that so?” He pulled you by your collar, you were so close to his lips that you could feel his breath hitting your lips.

“You’re blushing, doll face.”

Send me a number and a member for a drabble
Made New

Unlike you, I never manage
to draw truths from the air
so momentous and timeless
they expose, prism-like,
what is multifaceted in us.

I will hide the sweetness in my eyes

Unlike you, I am covetous.
I see those pure colours
and some hidden spot in me
only wants to have; the phrases
and the warmth of the hands

I will hide the gold tinting my thighs

pulling them down carefully.
I know so well now to want only
what I possess and no more -
it is your giving that does it,
your arrival when I am

I will hide the sparks under my heart

twined up in tiny specifics,
lines already drawn in the sand.
I yearn for an untethered double,
another self to give you
a wellspring of what’s secret,

I will hide until I hear your breath

unlike you in such ways that
you might shine a torch through me
and watch my variations fan out
across your skin, and all
we keep in the dark between us.

54. “I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. That’s the problem.”

Thanks to the lovely @htgawm-tv for the prompt <3


They had finished watching the episode of The Thorn Birds and Connor obeyed Oliver’s orders to stick to his side of the couch. He licked his lips apprehensively as he glanced at the other end of the couch.

It was late, but Connor didn’t want to leave. Being in that apartment with Oliver, it was the only thing that meant something. It felt real unlike every other aspect of his life. Everything outside of Oliver looked distorted.

Oliver yawned before glancing over at Connor, meeting his eyes. “Well, I’m tired, so you should probably be on your way.”

His heart dropped. Of course, after Oliver had said everything earlier, Connor didn’t expect an invite to stay. Of course not. But this was direct and blunt. No beating around the bush, just a ‘you should go.’

Connor nodded, releasing the pillow he had clutched to his chest for the duration of the episode. “Are things ever going to be okay between us?”

Oliver looked up at him sporting an inquisitive look. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…” Connor rubbed the back of his neck after gliding his hand through his hair. “Do you ever see yourself forgiving me for what I did? Is there at all an opportunity for this to be… more?”

“I don’t know, Connor. You hurt me. I trusted you and you hurt me.”

Connor felt anxious. Oliver had let him back in and he was going to screw it up by pushing him too  far. “God, you must hate me.”

The other man looked down, an uneasy laugh leaving his lips. “I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. That’s the problem. I tried, but…” Oliver gestured to Connor and then to the apartment. “You obviously see that I failed at that.”

Connor didn’t know what to do or say. “I should go.”

Oliver nodded, not bothering to show him to the door.

Slipping on his jacket, he glanced once more at the couch, once more at Oliver as he opened the door to leave. “Hey, Oliver?”

“Yes, Connor?”

“I’m sorry.” He walked out the door, closing it behind himself, not waiting for a response.

And maybe you left because I can’t give you what your heart desires. You wish for flowers wrapped neatly. You wanted Friday nights inside restaurants I can’t even pronounce. You hoped for movie dates. You expected gifts every month from me.

But all I gave you were letters carefully written on scented paper. I handed you photographs of you and even made a portrait of your candid face, you look wonderful. I filled you with late night conversations until our eyes can’t soldier on. I solaced you with songs until your demons are at bay then be your alarm in the morning just to tell you you’re late for school. I read you books. I wrote you poems. 

I thought you were words personified. A poem that breathes. That’s why I tried to be every art that there is, but I was blinded. You only saw me as a mere trophy. You never loved me, or maybe you loved the idea that you have me-that you have a person that serves as a museum for you and for your friends, then you realize you can live without ‘art’. 

He Accidentally Makes You Cry

This was a request from a really long time, I’m so sorry it took so long to write! Also Ashton and Luke’s ended up being a bit shorter than the others and they’re all pretty weird. Please enjoyyyy :-))

Masterlist | Request


Michael:

You’ve always been fragile around that time of the month but strangely you also find yourself getting extremely competitive, making a competition out of everything whether it be xBox, making dinner or dancing. You always have to win.

“Mikey?” His eyes flicker up to you as you stretch out across the couch, “Hmm?” You slowly shuffle up the leather cushions until you’re perched atop his lap. “Wanna play xBox?” You pull out the controllers you’ve been holding behind your back and Michael sighs, switching off his phone and moving his hands so they’re resting on your shoulders.

“Do you promise you won’t get upset if I beat you? You remember what happened last time…” You shudder at the memory of the last game you both played a month ago which ended not only in your tears but his also. “That was a fluke! And I feel fine, I just really want to play a game with you.” The slight curl of your bottom lip seems to convince him and he shrugs, taking one of the controllers and slotting it between his hands.

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