this-is-as-blurry-as-the-last-one

War - Winchester Sister

Warnings: Suicide, mention of self harm, depression, Sam and Dean being asshole of brothers

Word Count:  1767 (damn)

Part 2

Life was hard. Of course, because that’s what life was about. Challenges, fights, and war.

“What the hell was that?!” Dean was shouting, again. We were out on a hunt that Sam found about a week ago, a simple hunt? No. Werewolves. Here we were to think it was just one or two, not a whole pack of seven. “I’m sorry! It’s not my fault!” “Don’t give me that bullshit.” He growled as I gently placed Sam on the bed earning a groan from him. “M’ sorry Sammy.” I said, kissing his forehead and quickly running out of the room to get the first aid kit that we kept in the closet down the hall before rushing back and getting out the needle and bandages.

“This is your damn fault.” Dean growled, running a hand down his face and starting to pace the room. “Dean! Stop it, you’re not helping Sam at all by just pacing the room.” “Well I wouldn’t have to help him if you didn’t mess up in the first place!” “That doesn’t matter right now!” Glaring at each other, before a sigh fell from my lips as I went back to working on Sam.

“You’re such a disappointment.” He sneered, voice dripping with venom as he left the room slamming the door. Probably going to take baby for a drive to clear his mind. Tears blurred my vision, but no matter what my goal was to stitch Sam up, my big brother and then get some rest for myself. “You shouldn’t have taken the hit for me Sammy..” I mumbled, brushing the hair out of his face as I started finishing up. Leaving the first aid kit on the table, in case he needed it in the morning while I walked to the door, taking a glance back at him before shutting it behind me and going back to my own room. Dean’s words ringing in my head ‘your damn fault’ ‘disappointment’ And he was right.

I knew my place with Sam and Dean, they would die for each other, of course. And I was just their useless baby sister, I knew I didn’t matter. Not to them.

Entering my room, I shut the door behind myself. Laying on the bed and letting the voices consume my head as always. Everyday was a battle to pass by, and the scars on my body was proof of that. But they didn’t know, no. How could I ever tell my brother’s who don’t even care? So, I don’t.

“Dean look! I drew a picture for you!” Five year old Y/n said, holding it up to her older brother that was cooking dinner so he could see. “Look’s great Y/n.” She frowned, “But you aren’t even looking!” A whine fell from her lips, “Y/n I’m busy right now.” “Pwease Dean?” “Not now.” “Dean?” “I said not now Y/n!” Tears filled the little girl’s eyes as she ran away and out of the room, not eating dinner that night.

“Sammy can you read me a story tonight?” “I can’t Y/n.” “Well, why not?” Seven year old Y/n asked, tilting her head to the side and walking over to him. “Because I’m.. Busy.” He said as she furrowed her eyebrows and tilted her head. “But you’re not doing anything.” He sighed and rolled his eyes. “I said no Y/n, okay?” She frowned and turned around walking away clutching her stuffed moose close to her chest. “Okay Sammy..”

Twelve year old Y/n ran with the soccer ball between her feet, being one of the most fastest and skilled on the team, she was always on the field. “Go Y/n!” Her friends cheered as she got closer to the net, taking a shot as the ball went into the net just before the timer went off, making her team win the game as they all cheered and ran over to hug and give her high fives. A grin was on her face, looking over at at the benches, hoping to see her big brothers. Instead, only seeing parents of the other kids as she sighed and frowned. They promised her they would come, and they didn’t.

“Hey um, guys?” Sixteen year old Y/n asked, walking up to her brothers that were sitting around the room on the couches. “Hey Y/n, what’s up?” “Um.. I’m in the Talent show this Friday.. I was wondering if you guys could come..? It’d mean a lot to me.” “Of course we’ll come!” “really?” “Yeah, sure.” Dean chuckled, before returning back to the Tv as she grinned. “Thanks!”

That following Friday, Y/n was backstage, looking out to try and find her brothers, only to frown when she didn’t see them when walking on stage. But she sang anyway, and she sang so loud, and so amazing that the whole audience boomed with cheers. But it didn’t matter to her, because her brothers weren’t there to cheer her on as well.

“Dean I’m twenty year’s old I can do what I want!” “I said no Y/n! You’re staying here and that’s final!” “You’re not my father!” Dean’s eyes widened for a split second, before he glared and grabbed her wrist tightly. “No! but I sure as hell raised you, and you’ll only slow us down! So stay here and don’t get in our damn way!” He yelled, shoving you back as you landed on the cold floor with tears stinging your eyes, looking up at Sam who gave you a nod as they both walked away.

“Fuck!” Y/n yelled, being pinned down by a werewolf as she struggled and kicked him off, running to get her gun as it ran and pounced to claw at her chest, only for Sam to jump in the way taking the blow. “Sam!” She cried, shooting the werewolf as she rushed to his side taking off her flannel and pressing it to his wound. “I’m sorry Sammy, I’m sorry..” She repeated, as Dean finished off the last werewolf and rushed over to her. “What the hell happened?!” Tears were flowing down Y/n’s face as she choked on her sobs “H-He took my hit..” A growl fell from Dean’s lips as he threw ran his hands through his hair. “Fuck! What the hell’s wrong with you!?” “I-I’m sorry, just please Dean he needs help..” “You better be sorry, I told you, you only slow us down and get in our way.” He growled before walking away.

Clutching onto your pillow tightly as tears flowed down your face, you finally realized, you weren’t welcome here. Rushing to the bathroom, You grabbed a bottle of pain killers along with your phone and wallet. Putting on your hoodie, you quietly opening your door, you glanced down the hallway. You hadn’t heard Dean come home yet, and you were positive Sam was still asleep. Silently walking down the hallway, you walked up the stairs and opened the door, turning around and taking a quick glance around the bunker. Tears blurring your vision as you hung your head and walked out shutting the door behind you for the last time. You started running, as you running came to a jog, and your jog came to a walk. Not even sure how long you were outside for, maybe half an hour by now as you soon came to the town, stepping into the small motel, walking to the front and paying for a room. Taking the key, you walked outside to your room. Opening the door before shutting it behind you and walking into the bathroom.

Stepping into the bathtub, you sat inside of it, resting your head back against the wall as you closed your eyes. Listening to the voice screaming at you in your mind.

All you felt was numb, not even knowing if you felt anything at all anymore.

Taking out your phone, you dialled Sam’s cell, tears running down your face as you wiped them with the hem of your sleeve. A small smile creeped up onto your lips hearing his voice from the voicemail one last time, until it beeped. “Hey Sammy..” You sniffed and looked up running a hand through your hair. “I’m sorry for everything.. You getting hurt because of me, it’s all my fault. I’m not worth it, I don’t know why you did it. Thank you for being my big brother, even when you weren’t there for me when I needed you, you were still my big brother. And I could never hate you. I’m sorry. I love you.” A sigh fell from your lips as you hung up, Dean was next, and you were begging he’d leave you to voicemail, but at the same time. You knew he would, he’d still be too mad at you to talk. Hearing his voicemail made you smile, even though he was an ass to you no longer than two hours ago, you still loved your older brother. “Hey Dean, it’s your least favourite sister.” Weakly smiling, with tears endlessly continuing to run down your face, no matter how many times you wiped them away. “I’m sorry.. It’s my fault, I know I’m a disappointment. I get that you hate me, and it’s okay, don’t worry. I hate me too. But you won’t have to worry about me anymore, okay? Take care of Sammy for me, just like you always do. Because he’s more important than anyone else, right?” Pulling out the bottle of painkillers, you glanced down at them with a sniff. “I love you Dean. No matter what. I’m sorry for everything.” Smiling sadly, you hung up your phone. Staring down at the bottle of pills in your hands as sobs racked your body. This was your only chance, and you were gonna take it. Glancing at your phone one last time, it started vibrating. Blowing up with phone calls, text messages. Everything. Quickly grabbing it, you turned it off. If you were going out, you were going out in silence.

Taking off the lid, you instantly put the bottle to your mouth, downing every last pill and swallowing all of them until they were gone. Gripping the bottle tightly in your hand. You rested your head back. Looking up at the ceiling with a smile on your face as tears continued flowing, you actually did something right for once in your life.

As everything was going blurry, and darkness faded over one last time.

We’ve all been to war, whether it’s real life, or in your own mind surrounded by demons.



UM, first of all I just wanna say thank you to Savannah for getting me to write again because she’s been writing so much for our blog lately, thank you Sav.

And second of all, suicide is never the answer, we’ve all been to war please think about everything and if you need help please call a hotline because you are all lovely and we love it when you guys are around, you make a difference, thank you.

Canadian Hotline - 1-800-668-6868      

American Hotline - 800-273-8255

Blurryface pt. 3

Originally posted by 21pilotsgifs

blurry really makes josh his bitch in this one. he loves it of course ;-)

———————————————–

“so you just couldn’t help calling me back, huh? just had to get this good cock in you” blurry teased, dragging his fingers down josh’s spine. josh shivered from the tone of blurry’s voice. 

“hey! answer me when i’m talking to you. you like how i fuck you joshie?” blurry emphasized with a slap to josh’s bare ass, hard enough to leave a burning red hand print. josh yelped from the brutal contact, and blurry laughed bitterly, watching josh’s muscles strain as he struggled to pull his hands out of the rope. 

“it’s pointless, josh. i’m not letting you go, and tyler’s not coming back this time. you’re my prisoner now. so answer me before i tear you open without prepping you at all. although you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” blurry spoke, his tone cold and bitter. he ended the thought with a deep chuckle. 

“okay, okay please just…” josh stuttered, distracted when blurry gripped josh’s ass and pulled him open. josh’s dick throbbed and he suppressed a moan. 

“as you were saying?” blurry asked, grinning wide and red eyes gleaming. blurry slipped a finger inside and josh’s choked moan only served to make blurry’s dick harder. 

“i like how you…how you fuck me.” josh said, flinching at how dirty it sounded coming from his mouth. blurry growled, low and deep while leaning over. he scraped his sharp teeth over josh’s skin, enjoying the way he squirmed. 

“that’s right, joshua. i own you, and you will do anything i say.” blurry continued, thrusting a second finger inside him and scissoring them. he climbed up josh’s back, putting his lips to his ear. 

“you’re lucky i go easy on you. you have no idea what i’ve wanted to do to you for so long…unimaginable things” blurry hissed, cold breath fanning against josh’s ear and neck. josh’s eyes widened, and at that moment blurry pulled his fingers out and shoved his cock in, causing josh to scream into the mattress. blurry grabbed josh’s hair and forced his head back. 

“scream for me bitch, i want to hear you” blurry grunted, hips slapping against josh’s ass. 

“aaaahh fuck!! tyler!” josh screamed, mouth open as he was being fucked senseless into the mattress. 

“that’s it. scream for tyler, because he can’t save you” blurry growled, pulling out suddenly. he chuckled again at how josh whined and arched his back when blurry squeezed and spanked him several times. 

“beg for it, slut” blurry said, hands leaving him completely and climbing off the bed. 

“wh-what?” josh asked, dazed from the ruthless pounding. 

“you heard me. you want to cum - so beg, like the little whore you are.” blurry repeated. josh bit his lip, glaring at blurry across the dimly lit room using tyler’s naked form to tease him. 

“if you don’t beg, i will just sit right here and get myself off. now you wouldn’t want that, would you?” blurry asked while leaning back, allowing josh a good look at what he’d be missing. he brought his hand to his impossibly hard erection, gripping it in his hand and stroking up. blurry stared at josh’s face, licking his lips seductively while working his hand up and down. josh let out a sigh, rocking his hips against the mattress. when he heard a harsh moan from tyler’s lips, he lost his resolve. 

“okay!” josh spoke up, making contact with blurry’s cold stare again. blurry smirked, sitting back up but continuing his pace on his cock. he gave josh a smug, expectant look. 

“get to it, boy. because i’m ready to burst from how hot you look right now, all vulnerable and ready for me.” blurry spoke, voice lowering and taking on a more sensual tone that went straight to josh’s cock. josh focused between tyler’s hand movements on his cock and the dark look in his eyes. 

“god ty, you got me so hard right now. i need you to fuck me and make me cum already, please” josh begged, meaning every word. blurry was silent and still for a moment, eyes closed. josh was almost worried he said something wrong when blurry’s head twitched. the next moment, blurry let go of his cock and stood up, walking slowly towards the side of the bed that josh was laying in. josh kept his eyes on him the whole time as blurry rested one knee on the bed by josh’s face. 

“that’s more like it. bet you wish you could touch me right now, too. look at you, so needy and all tied up and begging me to let you cum. you’ll do anything” blurry groaned, stroking himself above josh’s head. josh peered up at him, begging with his eyes and licking his lips. 

“suck my dick first” blurry ordered, and josh opened his mouth immediately. blurry moaned as josh closed his lips around the head of his dick, humming and teasing the tip with his tongue. josh’s eyes slipped shut as blurry worked his cock in deeper, grabbing his head to pull him closer. he gave up control and allowed blurry to use his mouth. 

“fuck, your mouth is so hot, babe. tyler’s loving this so much right now.” blurry groaned, using both hands on josh’s head to fuck his mouth. josh gagged and made obscene sucking sounds as he struggled to take what blurry was giving him. blurry slowly pulled out, allowing josh a chance to lick and suck his balls while stroking his own cock. josh hummed more, desperate to get blurry close so he’d fuck him.  

“mmmmm look at you, grinding those sexy hips into the bed. you know you’re not supposed to get off without me, josh” blurry said in a warning tone. josh stopped immediately, knowing that he was serious. blurry had him in such a state, he hardly realized he was humping the bed. 

“blurry, please fuck me?” josh asked as innocently as possible, hoping he wouldn’t be able to resist. blurry disappeared from sight and he felt the bed dip behind him, then a cold hand pressing on his lower back. 

“stick that ass out for me” blurry ordered, spanking josh and relishing in his loud moans. josh arched his back, presenting himself for blurry who let out an animalistic grunt. just like that, blurry lined up to josh’s entrance and was back to pounding him stupid. josh was unable to do anything other than pant and rock back and forth against blurry’s thrusts, the bed was creaking and his body being jolted forward. josh suddenly felt a hand wrap around his cock and start jerking him in time with the thrusting and cried out. 

“you feel so good, josh. cum for me now” blurry crooned, jerking faster and gripping josh’s hip hard with his other hand. josh was too focused on the way he was being fucked and violently jerked off to care. he came onto the sheets with several whimpers, knees going weak from the power of his orgasm. 

“ahhh, fuck blurry. it feels so good, so so good. oh my god” josh muttered between panting breaths. 

“that’s it, baby. only i can make you feel this way, is that right?” blurry asked, grinning from ear to ear. he let go of josh’s sensitive cock and grabbed his hips with both hands, brutally pounding into him to reach his own climax. “answer me, baby.” 

“yes, blurry, only you.” josh answered timidly. he allowed blurry to use his body, even though he was sore and exhausted. blurry rocked into him one last time, releasing everything that had built up as he rode out his orgasm. he ran his hands up and down josh’s sides, for sure leaving trails of black all over his pale skin. he remained hovered over josh for a moment catching his breath before easily slipping out of him. both were too drained to get up. 

———————————————

the next morning, josh woke up to tyler draped around him with his breath fanning over his neck. he must not have realized he moved, because tyler stirred awake, yawning and kissing josh’s neck. josh could tell he was back to tyler, but he felt like he got ran over by a truck. he didn’t want to tell tyler that blurry was actually more rough with him than before. 

“I love you, josh” tyler murmured between soft kisses to josh’s neck. josh smiled, happy tyler was back to be sweet to him. 

“i love you too, ty” josh answered back, turning his face to catch tyler’s lips with his. tyler got a mischievous smirk and got on his knees, pulling the blanket down to kiss josh’s chest. when he pulled the blanket lower, he gasped when he seen scratches, bruises, and black hand and fingerprint smears on his ribs, hips, and stomach. josh got a worried look and looked down to see what tyler seen in the light. 

“my blurryface did this too you?” tyler asked, gently running his fingers over the marks on josh’s body. josh was really appreciating how gentle tyler was touching him after last night, squirming at his touch. tyler’s eyes shot up to him, smirking again and continuing lower. 

“are you just going to tease me?” josh whined as tyler settled down on his elbows and placed feather light kisses over the tiny bruises on his hips that slowly turned more open-mouthed. 

“nah, i think you deserve a little something after that. did you like me fucking your mouth last night?” tyler asked, voice low as he rested between josh’s thighs and licked a wet stripe up josh’s shaft. josh moaned a ‘yes’ in response as tyler continued licking and pressing more soft kisses to josh’s hardening dick. when josh was fully hard and begging tyler to suck him, tyler took him in his hand and engulfed about half his cock with his mouth, jerking him in his fist. josh tried lifting his hips to feel more of tyler’s mouth, but tyler held him down with his arm and went slow. josh finally gave up, letting tyler set the pace and make him feel good. 

“that feels so good, tyler. i’m gonna cum” josh moaned, throwing an arm over his eyes and running his fingers through tyler’s hair. tyler’s eyes flicked up to josh, taking in his appearance before he fell apart. he sucked harder, moving up and down faster as his hand matched intensity. josh was shaking as pleasure rippled through him, ready to spill over. he made eye contact, taking in tyler’s pretty face with his mouth working him over and that caused him to lose it. 

tyler swallowed everything josh gave him, pumping him in his hand. he slowly dragging his tongue over josh’s tip while gazing into his eyes. josh’s cock gave another twitch at the sight.

“fuuuck, tyler. oh my god” josh groaned, dropping his head back and trembling as tyler cleaned him. 

“i’ll go make us breakfast, stay here and i’ll bring it to you” tyler said, winking at him before getting up to leave the bedroom. josh watched him walk out of the room still naked. he licked his lips, thinking i’m definitely fucking him good later. 

Edmund x Reader: Human

Prompt/ask: Anonymous asked: Are you busy? I’m so sorry if you are but I read your say something story and I was wondering if you could write one for human by christina perri?

Word count: 632 (with lyrics)

Warnings: Death

Setting: Golden Age

A/N: This is uh…quite angsty and depressing. But also kinda cute. In a disturbing way…enjoy you sick fucks!


I can hold my breath, I can bite my tongue

Narnian Funerals aren’t ever of the formal sort; They never have been. Funerals in Narnia are arranged to celebrate the life of a person, not the death. But sometimes this tradition demanded to be broken. Sometimes when the death of someone is such an immense and unbearable tragedy, no one can bear reflecting on the memories of their life. 

I can stay awake for days, If that’s what you want; Be your number one

You closed your eyes as a gleaming tear made its way down the valley of your cheekbone.

 “Is everything, uh-” The handmaiden beside your bedpost extended a hand to comfort you, but drew it back almost instantly. 

“Okay?” You croaked out, turning away from your window to face her.

 “N-no. Sorry.” She paused, sighing a little. “Of course not.” 

You bit your bottom lip, turning back to the broad window frame. “Are you…are you sure you wish to attend the funeral My Lady?” The poor girl inquired softly. 

I can fake a smile, I can force a laugh

You nodded your head immediately, seeming to snap out of whatever trance you were in as you raised a hand to wipe your tears. 

“Yes, Aleida.” You cleared your throat, reaching for the woven silver crown resting on the windowsill. “I am expected to, so naturally, I must go.” 

“My Lady, everyone would understand if-”

 “Aleida,” You began softly, turning to face her yet again, “I am expected to attend.” You smiled at her through your cold tears, letting your hand settle on her shoulder for a moment before inhaling deeply and brushing a strand of damp, tear-soaked hair behind your ear.

I can dance and play the part, If that’s what you ask

The day was gloomy, and the surrounding mood mirrored the weather. You walked through the gathering of people next to the small set of stones before Cair Paravel, taking a breath with each step you took. You heard mutterings of “I’m so sorry” and “Our thoughts are with you” as you walked, taking care to look down at the damp grass instead of up at the grieving Narnians. It seemed as if all of Narnia was gathered to mourn the loss of their fallen king.

Give you all I am; I can do it

As you approached the cluster of stones, brushing off the remorseful comments and embraces, you were hit with a wave of grief. This was all too real for you. It was all too…tangible. There, before you in the cloudy air, was a grave. 

But I’m only human, and I bleed when I fall down

You sank to your knees before the stones memorializing your husband. They were cold and unbearably neat, and they covered the empty pit beneath them. 

“This isn’t right.” You whispered. A badger approached you, placing its paw on your forearm. “Your Highness-”

 “He was lost at battle,” You interrupted sharply, holding back a small sob, “He-he didn’t die.” You closed your eyes, sinking down further. “He didn’t.” You whispered once more. The creature merely nodded in understanding, stepping back to give you a moment alone.

I’m only human, and I crash and I break down

You read the words again. 

Edmund the Just, gone yet not forgotten.

Carved in stone, like a silly message left by a small girl. 

Edmund the Just, gone yet not forgotten.

Your words in my head, knives in my heart, You build me up and then I fall apart

Slowly-reluctantly-you stood up, your tears making your vision faded and blurry. 

Gone yet not forgotten.

Gone

Forgotten

Gone.

With one last look, you turned away from the stone memorial, wiping a single tear as you left the grief behind. 

’Cause I’m only human

Gone.

Bloom (Sirius Black x Reader)

“You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it” Y/N used to say.

Y/N L/N had a quiet confidence that screamed loud. She was strong and rebellious. She was giving, but not naive. She chose her battles wisely. She stood in silence and when the time came… she fought.

She did…

 Until one day.

Everyone seemed to notice her sudden change.

She wasn’t as loud as always. She wouldn’t stand up for people as she used to. Her smile wasn’t lighting the room anymore. She barely even smiled, actually.

Everybody noticed.

But nobody did anything.

Nobody… except for the Marauders.

”What’s wrong, Y/N? What happened?” Sirius kept asking her.

Sirius Black was her best friend.

Y/N met the Marauders through James, but she and Sirius bonded instantly. His mischievous personality and cocky smile intrigued her. But it wasn’t just that. Sirius was brave, just, incredibly loyal and noble.

When night would spread colourful patches of paint all over the sky, they used to sit front of the fire, laughing and cuddling.

  And when he had problems with his family, she would listen carefully and wrap her arms around him, whispering shooting words.

They cried in front of each other. They confessed feelings and told secrets.

But over the years, Y/N started to see Sirius in a different light.

The way his hair would fall in his face when he talked.

The way his smile was so contagious and his eyes would sparkle whenever her was happy.

The way he would mutter things under his breath or furrow his brows when he was concentrating.

All the little things he did seemed to become impossible to ignore for Y/N.

She was slowly falling for him and there was no way she could stop it.

Love was growing inside of her heart just like a flower.

But Sirius couldn’t ever look at her in that way. Why would he? He just continued to flirt with every girl he saw.

And it made Y/N sick.

She tried to forget him, but that flower spread its roots all over and thrust them deep into her heart. So she imprisoned those hopeless feelings into a corner of her heart, hoping that, over the years, they would fade.

When Y/N would answer every time with “Nothing, I’m fine”, she’d see his pained expression. He’d know she was lying and it would slice her already bruised heart. They never lied to each other, but she knew that, if she’s tell him, things would only get worse.

So she just continued to pretend she was fine.

She continued to pretend her eyes weren’t full of tears, her voice wasn’t empty, her presence wasn’t ghostly and her heart wasn’t aching.

She continued to pretend… she hadn’t stopped fighting.


The drops of hot water relaxed Y/N’s sore muscles. It felt good. Like normality, and she basked in the sensations. The feeling of her muscles easing was wonderful enough that she allowed her ever crowded mind to cease thinking, if only to shield the memories she has been recalling recently. If only to forget her worries, her fears… her life.

Merlin forgive her for pretending it didn’t exist for some stolen minutes.

Her imagination only managed to distract her for fifteen minutes or so, before reality crawled its way back in.

With a dejected breath, she stopped the water and left the shower, returning to the mirror and palming away the condensation. She gave this new reflection a quick glance, deciding it looked half better than before. At least, her skin couldn’t be mistaken for an antique China doll anymore and the bags under her eyes disappeared.

She looked more human. More present.

For now, at least.

She wrapped a bathrobe around her body, and spared her blurry reflection one last glance before she grabbed her wand off the sink to mutter a quick drying charm for her hair, and then left the bathroom.

Her fist had just closed around the doorknob when she heard a muffled noise behind her. She turned around abruptly, almost losing her balance and pointed her wand at the dark room.

“Woah. Jumpy this night, aren’t we?” came a deep, masculine chuckle from her bed.

Y/N peered through the darkness at the tall figure. She sighed in relief when she realised he had long, wavy hair and a cocky grin plastered on his face.

“What are you doing here, Sirius?” she muttered, lowering her wand and frowning slightly at him.

Sirius stood up suddenly, candle lights making their way in the otherwise dim lit room. His smirk slowly vanished, being replaced with a look of concern.

Y/N bit the inside of her cheek in anticipation.

“Y/N…” Sirius tried, as she approached her.

But she backed away from him with a squeal, clenching the sides of the bathrobe tighter around her.

He stopped dead in his tracks, pain written all over his face.

“Y/N” he whispered again. “Why are you running away from me?” 

She stared right at him, the words stuck in her throat. Her mind worked rapidly, analysing the situation over and over, but a coherent answer refused to come.

“I…I…” she mumbled, a feeling of desperation making its way in.

Sirius watched her carefully, before sighing deeply.

“I know something is happening to you” he said, his eyes boring holes into hers. “And you need to tell me what it is”

She sighed too, closing her tired eyes and leaning her head against the bathroom door.

“Please, Y/N” he added.

The Y/H/C haired girl let out a silent sob, as she allowed two lonely tears to fall down her cheeks.

I don’t deserve this… Why do I have to tell you? Why do I need to tell you?

Still debating, Y/N pressed her left shoulder with her thumb. She gritted her teeth as a light pain shot through her arm.

After a few moments of silence, she slowly let go of her bathrobe and whipped away her tears before her piercing Y/E/C eyes. She glanced at Sirius’ pleading face and inhaled deeply, deciding it’s better to just get it all out.

Y/N pushed herself away from the door and took a few tentative steps closer to Sirius.

“I- it’s all complicated” she started in a small voice.

“I’m sure I can handle it”

Y/N gave Sirius’ confidence a ghost of a smile. You’ll never change, will you?

“Come on, Y/N. I can’t stand seeing you like this. You seem… broken”

Y/N tensed at his words and tears immediately started falling from her wide eyes again.

“Oh, Y/N! No- I- didn’t mean to-”

“It’s fine” she sniffled. “It’s just that… you know me too well”

Sirius stretched out a hand and cupped her cheek with sad smile, his thumb wiping away her tears. She smiled slightly and leaned into his touch.

“It’s started a few months ago…” she forced the words out. “It was the summer break and… I just got home… I was already wondering why my parents didn’t  come to pick me up, but… I just… shrugged that off. And when I stepped into the house, my eyes stinging… a strong smell invaded my lungs… It was alcohol. It seemed like the whole house was drowned in it. And then… I saw… my father. And my mom… she was in a horrible state… bruised and beaten and… so pale, almost ghostly. My father seemed very… non present, I think. I ran to my mother and asked her what was wrong, if someone beat her up… And then… I felt… how he… grabbed my hair and pulled me back, throwing me on the floor. He screamed, threatened, kicked, spat, yelled… and cried. I cried too that night. And every night that followed. Because he continued this… every… single…day. Every single day… And I couldn’t stand it… I couldn’t… I was just wondering… what happened to my dear father…”

By the end she was shaking with loud sobs, so Sirius pressed her to his chest. Her arms grabbed the back of his shirt and she buried her head into his chest, the tears soaking the material. But he couldn’t care less.

Y/N, his Y/N was… abused. Constantly abused. By her own damn father.

He felt the blood boiling in his veins. Anger mixed with disgust slowly bubbling inside him.

He imagined all of the terrible things he did to her…

In the end, he felt like he could literally massacre a little village.

But as he glanced at the beautiful mess in his arms… he forgot his murderous thoughts. All he could feel was… love. Love for the girl that told him what she’s been through, her worst nightmare.

Sirius’ breath hitched in his throat, as his eyes went wide.

He… loved her. He truly did.

He looked carefully at her. Y/N’s sobs stopped, being replaced by occasional whimpers, which were muffled by his chest.

Then, a thought hit him like lightning.

“Y/N” he muttered. slowly pulling away from her. “May I… May I see your bruises?”

Y/N frowned. She wasn’t expecting this at all. She was quite reserved about her body before, but now… she was… afraid to show him. She couldn’t quite explain why, but she was just feeling anxious about it.

She shook her head frenetically, Y/H/C curls flying all over her face and grasped her bathrobe again.

“Shhh” Sirius calmed her down, rubbing her arms in shooting circles. “I just want to see, nothing more, I promise”

Y/N looked in his sincere eyes for a few moments, before slowly nodding and turning around.

She let the silky material slide down her shoulders, stopping just above her chest.

Sirius hissed at the sight of her exposed back. Every here and there, bruises would scatter her pale skin. Some big ones immediately caught his eye. They were multi coloured, a gradation of yellow, purple and black filling them in, creating an almost disturbing contrast with her sheet white skin. Her back seemed to recreate a bizarre, unfinished painting of a wild, untamed man. The image the coloured circles seemed so… deep.

Sirius raised his hand and pressed it lightly on her skin, making Y/N flinch.

Sirius’ eyes snapped up at her, as she pulled the material up her shoulders again and turned to face him.

He couldn’t help but observe how beautiful she looked. Her hair a mess of Y/H/C curls, that cascaded down her shoulders and framed her porcelain like face. Her eyes, two Y/E/C orbs that held a fire deep within. The faint light that cast trembling shadows all over her delicate frame. Her heart, although shaken, held an ocean of stars. That’s she didn’t carve for other’s light. She made her own special glow.

She was just… beautiful, in every way of the word. Inside and outside and Sirius couldn’t help but stare hopelessly at her figure, realising only how strong his feelings for her were.

“Sirius?” her silvery voice snapped him out of his trance. “Why… why are you staring at me?”

His mouth opened and closed several times, before he finally found his voice.

“You’re beautiful” he simply stated, surprising himself with the ease and sincerity he spoke.

Y/N’s eyes widened and her mouth formed a perfect o, as she took the words in.

He had no idea where the bold impulse came from, but he stepped closer to her and placed his hand on her warm cheeks, their chests touching lightly. He heard her breath hitch in her throat and it only made him lean closer to her.

Their faces were only inches apart, so he could see the rosy blush that spread all over her cheeks. Then, his eyes slowly moved to her pink lips, which were slightly parted and back to her eyes. She watched him with a timid lust that made his insides clench.

“I- I just… It’s one night to-”

“One night” he agreed for sanity’s sake, before swiftly slicing the final inches between them, making Y/N’s body fill with warmth.

The flower bloomed once again. 

Request - Would you write a trigger fanfic (not putting into a lot of detail what happened before the reader gets back) of tr getting back to the bunker bloody and bruised with tr's clothes torn and TFW sees tr walking in and find out tr was sexually assaulted

(Hope you like it xx)

Warning: Mention of sexual assault


You stopped your car in front of the entrance to the bunker and laid your head on the steering wheel so you could try to calm your breathing down; with shaking hands you pulled down the sun visor so you could look at yourself in the tiny mirror and gasped at what you saw.

A black-purple shadow that would grow darker as time went on was spread across the length of one of your cheekbones, making your eye slightly puffed up than than it already was from crying. Your bottom lip was split with a crimson trail making its way down your chin, and you wiped the blood away with quaking fingers only to have it smear over your ashen skin. There were other cuts as well, some larger than others, and a few ridges at the back of your head; when you had gone through your knotted hair and found them, tears started to flow down your face once more and seep into the little wounds on your face.

I can’t go in there, you thought, your hands clasped over your face as you willed your injuries to fade right away.

What would the boys and Castiel think of you, when they saw you like this? You knew that they wouldn’t retaliate in disgust in your presence, but you had a dark feeling in your gut that they would look at you differently every time that they saw you now. You weren’t going to be able to look at yourself in the same way anymore, either; all you could feel right now was repulsion and shame as you gazed at your blurry reflection one last time before snapping the visor back up.

There was suddenly a vibration in your purse and you got out your phone as quickly as you could, tears dripping onto your screen when you saw the text from Dean.

We heard you pull up outside! What’s the hold-up?

Letting out a sob, you came to the conclusion that it would be better for you to go inside instead of them finding you in your car.

You grabbed your belongings and opened the car door before stepping out and hissing as your feet touched the ground; you had forgotten that you had landed on one of your ankles the wrong way, and it was now making you limp as you slowly made your way towards the door. It was necessary to ease yourself down the couple of stairs while using the railing as assistance, but you finally made it to the entrance and hesitated for a minute before opening it, head down.

The brothers and angel were in the library, looking up as you began to painfully make your way down the long flight of stairs.

“Hey, Y/N!” Sam called, looking up from his book once you were halfway down the stairs with a grin on his face. Once you were back on the ground, it faded as he took one second to observe your ripped shirt and bruised legs and arms. “Oh my God.”

Dean and Cas were confused when he started to rush towards you, but once they averted their eyes to your wounded presence, they instantly dropped what they were doing and followed.

Sam pulled you gently up into his arms, and you clutched at his shirt as you started to sob again. The older Winchester and angel made a couch clear for you, and the younger brother carefully laid you down on your back before crouching down with frightened hazel eyes. “Y/N, what happened?”

You shook your head, biting your lip as your breath began to come out as gasps and you started to shake uncontrollably. Dean was starting to lose it as he watched from a distance, fists and jaw clenched as Sam looked up at Cas with tears in his panicked eyes. The angel’s expression was beyond sorrowful, but his gaze was hard-set with anger; he felt a pang in his chest as he tried to put his hand on your forehead, but you flinched away from his touch.

“He’s helping, Y/N,” Sam reassured you as Castiel was successfully able to put his palm to your skin, closing his eyes as he focused on healing your body; he could sense something odd as he did, and a feeling of dread came over him as your physical wounds disappeared. The younger Winchester noticed the change in his stature, and looked Cas straight in the eye; he and Dean already had a feeling of what had happened, but were both now hoping that he could confirm that it wasn’t one of their worst nightmares.

“Y/N was–” Cas’ voice broke off, and he struggled to keep his composure together before continuing with a slight tremble in his voice. “–s-sexually assaulted.”

Sam covered his face with his hands as he tried to calm himself down, but Dean just snapped. His face was deadly as he shoved stacks of research and books from a table, making even you look at him in awe. He stalked over to you and you felt frightened as he came closer, but he didn’t seem to notice in his furious condition.

“Who the hell did this?!” he roared. “I am going to hunt down and kill this son of a bitch and make damn sure that he goes straight down and into the flames!” You were looking away from him, drawing into yourself as he got even louder. “Y/N! Who did–”

“Dean! Dean!” Sam grabbed his brother roughly by the arm, talking through his teeth. “You’re scaring her! Put a lid on your temper or get the hell out of here!

The older Winchester’s emerald eyes became wide as he realized what had come over him, and his heart dropped when he saw you quivering from the confrontation. "O-Oh my God, Y/N–”

“I-It’s o-okay,” Your voice was small, but you meant the words; it was his instinct to react impulsively, and you had been aware that this would have been his likely reaction. “I-I’m sorry.”

All three heads snapped up at that in shock, but Cas was the one who managed to speak up despite his surprise in bewilderment. “Why are you apologizing? You do not have any reason to do that.”

“I f-feel like that i-it was my fault,” you explained, voice cracking as sobs pushed their way into your words. “I p-panicked, couldn’t d-defend my self–”

“No, no,” Sam’s voice was gentle; he slowly made sure that it was okay to make contact with you before brushing your tears away with his thumbs, gulping when you jerked back just a tiny bit. “You are not to blame for any of this; it’s not your fault, and please don’t think that it is.”

“I–” You averted your gaze from them, feeling ashamed. “–I just feel so…f-filthy.”

Dean, who was now focusing on you instead of his own rage, became eye-level with you. “We’re here for you, Y/N, whenever you want to talk about this,” He managed a small smile, his eyes the last to shine with tears. “We love you; just remember that. We will not look at you differently, no matter what happened.”

Sam and Castiel nodded in agreement, and you felt your lips turn up as you realized just how much they cared for you; all of the disgust for yourself fell away, and was replaced with gracefulness and warmth. Nodding, one more tear of happiness fell down your cheek.

“Thank you.”