this-is-actually-a-really-good-question

anonymous asked:

I don't understand something. Why do you seem to make Anxiety out to be not-terrible? I just don't get it. If he's supposed to be a metaphor for actual anxiety, how could the other sides of you treat him like a friend? How could he be shipped with your fanciful side? Actual anxiety is nothing but pain, and for me, the other facets of my brain would want nothing to do with her. I'm not hating on the way you portray things, I'm just confused on how it all plays out in the metaphor.

That’s actually a REALLY good question! A question I’ll be definitely making a future video about! I can’t very well explain the shipping portion of it all haha, but to put it basically here, anxiety is a natural evolutionary trait that is innately in us to keep us alert! It’s just, in some of us, it’s more heightened and can inhibit us from time to time. In my first video where I introduced Anxiety, I brought up tools for how to shut him down, but I think it’s important to understand that stuff like that is a natural part of ourselves and we shouldn’t ignore that it’s there.

Like he said in today’s video, he’s not always the bad guy, and our anxiety is actually not trying to be bad at all. Now, moreover, my character, Anxiety, is slowly starting to represent more than just anxiety (one of the reasons names will come into play for all of them). He could be stress/negative thoughts/etc., that we deal with. It should be good that we can acknowledge they’re a part of us, and know how to deal with them, but not try to suppress them! Hope this helps ya a bit!

brendanthesalty  asked:

If gravity is simply the manifestation of geometric curvature in spacetime then why is it still grouped with the fundamental "forces", and why is making gravity compatible with the standard model by finding things like the hypothetical graviton considered so important to modern physics?

Hey! Sorry I took so long to answer your question. I asked @quantanaut and he said “A “force” really just means any kind of interaction, and while gravity might not be a “force” like e&m, it still mediates an interaction between particles. In order for interactions to work on the quantum level, they must be quantized, or come in small, discrete amounts, which is where the graviton comes in. In a sense, the graviton is the smallest possible curvature in space.” I hope this answers your question!

anonymous asked:

What are some ways that help when coming up with new backstories for characters?

     this is actually a really good question to ask. i can only give so much advice though, because what may work for me may not work for you and that’s okay. but i can definitely give you some pointers that have helped me in the past. 

  • work backwards – it may sound weird, but it’s a good tip. start with your character’s personality, their desires, their behaviour and traits before you get to the backstory. why? because having what they have now out in front of you will help you decide what in their past contributed to the person they are now. it’s really important to make the connections with them now with things that happened in their past. 
  • tvs, movies and books are your friends – one of the best ways of figuring out your character’s backstory is well.. getting inspiration from other characters. again, have the person they are now figured out before hand, then delve into the possibilities given to you by other writers. just be careful not to subject your character’s personality etc. to any change just to fit a different backstory. if you like an idea and it doesn’t work, the best thing to do is compromise. 
  • analyse other characters – often i choose a character my muse’s face-claim has already played and i analyse them and their backstory. but whatever and whoever you choose, learning how to analyse and understand the influence that a backstory has on someone is the best way to choose yours carefully, and it will also give you the skills you need to make something more unique. 
  • focus on relationships – again going back to the whole ‘past them influences present them’, come up with certain relationships your muse could have had previously. basic things like did they have two parents or a single parent? two gay dads? how many friends did they have in school? from there you can ask yourself what the dynamics of their relationship with these people were like and how it affected them. (eg. toxic single parent + toxic relationship = your character’s reason for being self destructive in the present) 
  • clich-yay or clich-no? – one of the hardest decisions to make when coming up with backstories for me personally is deciding how predictable i want to be with my character. if you want their story to be different and ground breaking, steer away from obvious tropes that are laced into some backstories. 
  • your major events – these should be the most important as well as the most thought out part of your character’s backstory. i suggest there being a major event that shakes their personality, their career and their relationships. just because they are major events doesn’t mean they need to be angsty or dramatic, they could be quite happy. but these events would definitely be something that shaped your character’s life more than anything. 
  • structuring the backstory – when writing my character’s backstory i would often start at their birth and sometimes i would go a little further to before they were even conceived to what their parent’s relationship was like beforehand. (eg. a character with parents who were childhood sweethearts could be a firm believer in love, ultimately this shapes their outlook on relationships and should be included for the cause for the effect.) then i would move onto the family dynamic if applicable, then who they were and what happened in school, then high school etc. until you reach present day. 

anonymous asked:

Hello there! I need some help regarding how to draw trans woman , the changes they went through and stuff like that and so far I couldn't find a good reference

thats… actually a really good question, and unfortunately I haven’t really had any luck finding good reference, either, and as a cis person, I can’t really offer any advice about it, myself. 

Does anyone else happen to have some tips or guidelines for drawing trans women (and maybe trans men, too?) respectfully and in a way that isn’t fetishize-y or anything? I feel like it would be good to have some advice to allow artists to add more diversity and trans representation in their artwork.

anonymous asked:

one of the things i don't like in revelations is that hoshido and nohr characters have one buddy support and two romantic ones, if they had a second buddy support, what matchup would it be? (for both generations)

Actually, really good question. Some of these I just did over what would be cute or interesting, maybe less over what would actually happen. With the royals, of course the obvious answer is the other royal(eg. Ryoma can support Xander but not Leo), but I strove away from that.

I hope you don’t mind, but I didn’t do the child units or the Corrin only supports.

Ryoma and Odin - “You are a lot like my uncle”

Hinoka and Selena - Selena could project her mother on Hinoka and in turn learn more that she does not need to be perfect

Takumi and Arthur - “Bow practices for justice and-wait, don’t hold it that way-ARTHUR YOU JUST SHOT YOURSELF/MYSELF”

Sakura and Beruka - Quiet tea ceremony

Saizo and Xander - See how similar your liege is compared to your enemy

Kagero and Camilla - So are Hoshidans all so stuck up or is it just you and your liege?

Azama and Benny - Azama can try to find Nirvana in the middle of the forest. With bears.

Setsuna and Nyx - Can Nyx please cast some luck spell on Setsuna?

Hinata and Keaton - “GO FETCH” “I’m not an idiot, you didn’t throw the sword-” “GO FETCH NOW” “STICK—-” come on guys this could be hilarious

Oboro and Charlotte - Let these two shadow face warriors fight and eventually find friendship

Hana and Peri - “You know what would be a good activity to do with your liege?” “What?” “GOING ON A MURDER HUNT-” “bye”

Subaki and Laslow - “So since when were men allowed to be pegasus knights?” “What the hell is a pegasus knight? I’m a sky knight.”

Hayato and Leo - Teaching each other Hoshidan and Nohrian magic

Kaden and Niles - Would Niles be sneaky enough to keep stealing Kaden’s potentially shed fur and sell it?

Orochi and Elise - “Princess, let me tell you about your future- YOU MUST NOT TRUST YOUR BROTHER IN ANOTHER WORLD”

Rinkah and Effie - Surprised friends over their strength Yes, I am a girl like you

And just for fun, here are two extra s-supports for the royals that are not the other royals.

Ryoma - Charlotte, Beruka
Hinoka - Niles, Laslow
Takumi - Nyx, Selena
Sakura - Arthur, Odin

Xander - Kagero, Hana
Camilla - Kaden, Subaki
Leo - Oboro, Setsuna
Elise - Hayato, Hinata

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hey!! I know the fandom keeps telling everyone not to read into lilis poetry and I absolutely agree but I'm really confused at it all. I'm sorry if I'm wasting your time just wanna let you know I love your account!!

Hi, anon! I’m so sorry it took me a while to get around to this ask. I wanted to think about it and give it a proper, thoughtful response, because I think it’s actually a really good question (and you’re not wasting my time at all!). So hopefully that’s okay with you. 

Let me begin by saying that reading into something, or making assumptions, is a really difficult thing to control - sometimes that’s just where your mind goes, without even intending to. I think it’s safe to say that most of the SH fandom immediately linked this to C without even meaning to, and to be honest, that’s not a very hard jump to make. So if you’re reading into it, don’t feel too guilty. 

That being said, there are some unspoken rules about engaging with L’s poetry within the fandom. She has said in the past that she’s been reluctant to share her poetry because of people making assumptions about who or what she’s talking about. As a fandom, I feel like we’ve generally done a really good job of being careful about this, but you can never be too sure. 

Here are some of the guidelines that I personally abide by. Please don’t see this as a set of strict rules that everyone needs to follow - for me, it’s just what I’ve established for myself in being a member of the fandom:

1. Engage with L’s poetry in terms of the work, not in terms of the SH breadcrumb. Lili’s poetry is, from a writer’s point of view, amazing. So if you are commenting or reblogging, make sure that you comment on the quality of the work, not on how it links to her love life. 

2. Be respectful of personal boundaries. Never, ever name C in the comments. I CANNOT EMPHASISE THIS ENOUGH. If she hasn’t named him, then we don’t have any right to, either.

3. If you need to squee/flail/fangirl, do it untagged or do it privately. L is obviously on Tumblr, so if you really need to get excited over possible SH connections/breadcrumbs, do it on your blog without tagging her, or do it with a mutual over d/m. Hey, you never know, you may just make some friends in the process!

4. Make L feel respected, safe and loved. At the end of the day, any reaction can be gauged aginst this. Does it make her feel respected as an individual? Does it make her feel safe within Tumblr? Does it make her feel loved by her fans? Then I’m sure it’s okay.

To summarise this post - look, it’s okay to read into things privately and to connect these to breadcrumbs or whatever, but as the first rule of SH says, this: “Never talk about SH to SH.” 

I hope that was helpful, anon!!!

bixgirl1  asked:

Hi!! I was thinking about my favorite scenes/lines from my favorite fics and got to wondering what scenes/lines stood out to the people who wrote them. Lolol. What would you say are your top 10 favorite bits from your fics? ❤

This Ask is cruel and unusual! Which explains why it took me so long to do it. But thank you, Bix! It’s actually a really good question; it’s just not usually easy for creators to say nice things about their own work, so it’s good to be prompted to do exactly that on occasion. I will say though that I couldn’t keep this to ten. That’s not arrogance as much as the fact that I’ve written 180 stories for this fandom, and I found it difficult to narrow down that much just from the sheer volume. I got it to fifteen though! I had to break everything non-H/D down to one each in order to fit everything I wanted to, which means there’s not nearly enough femslash, Harry/Teddy, James/Al, or Sirius/Harry here, but they’re all there once at least. Anyway, enough preamble!

In no particular order, 15 favorite scenes/lines:

1. Touch Me Fall, Harry/Draco. There are two moments for me: Okay, well I’ll admit that the whole first scene still delights me. I rarely get into my own sex scenes as much as other people appear to (you know who you are too!), but this one… Boy howdy, I really really like it. Ahem. But even in just that one scene, it’s gotta be, “Let’s rattle the glass, shall we, Potter?” I’m so happy with that line, I can’t even tell you. :DDD

Also from TMF would be a line near the end at the ball when they’re dancing, and Draco says to Harry, “How did your heart grow so huge in that cupboard they kept you in?” I think I might have written ‘closet’ rather than ‘cupboard’ though, and if I could go back and reword then 'cupboard’ it would be. The sentiment doesn’t change of course. And I love how appreciative and in awe of Harry’s capacity to love and forgive and hope Draco is in that moment – and he’s feeling it directed at himself.

2. So I really love Daddy!kink when it’s done a certain way. And I really love Harry/Teddy. Put those two things together and you’ve got Simple as It Is, Complicated as You Need. I have to admit that I love that whole story and how it came out! But there’s this one moment (which I should probably warn for here – I mean don’t read this if either of the above two things squicks you and just skip on down to #3, k?) There’s this moment when they’re in role and Harry’s fucking him, and Teddy says, all innocent, “Is it going to spurt inside like last time?” And man, that line was so hot to me that I literally gave Harry my own exact reaction after having written it. His eyes roll shut and he groans, “God yes.” So yeah, in that moment, Harry was all me! Hahaha! :P

Honestly, I love Harry in this story: so in control, so Toppy and Dommy in his “bank shoes” (I love that detail), and I looooove that he uses Legilimency to plant Daddy scenes in Teddy’s head after Teddy is a bit of a shit and taunts him in a public place where Harry can’t properly chastise him. I’m super pleased with how the whole dynamic turned out and with the pacing of the piece.

3. Weeds or Wildflowers, Harry/Draco. I’m not sure I can pick a line or scene on this one. What I loved more was just bouncing back and forth between Shelly’s scenes and mine, especially with those first dates where she’s being really funny and then I got to play off her humor with my own, and we’d get on the phone after we’d read one another’s parts and just laugh our asses off and start planning the next scene. And ngl, it was pretty awesome writing the big sex scene and sending it to her and getting a puddle of nnnnggghhh in response. ;) ;) And while I’m referencing the sex, I do think I have a favorite line where that’s concerned: “You like me rough, Malfoy?“

Ahem, okay!

4. In the Shadow of Your Heart, Harry/Draco. I gotta go with Harry Apparating into Draco’s shower, naked with his wand. I agree with Draco: It’s a damned good look on him. ;) But I also love the scene when they wake in the middle of the night and talk about nightmares and the war and in the midst of all this angst and rising tension, they get the giggles.

5. Entropy to Ecstasy, Harry/Draco. Which is a second person POV story told almost entirely through rimming. \o/ I love that moment when Harry’s having his, what do you call, stag night? at the Hog’s Head, and Draco just happens to be there having a drink, and after Harry’s friends all leave, Harry just gives Draco this look and then goes upstairs to a room. Draco follows him, and I don’t even think there are any words; Harry has left the door ajar, and Draco just walks in and they go at it. I love that.

6. Get a Room, Harry/Draco, for drunk slow dancing with Harry’s hands in Draco’s back pockets and Harry flipping off Ron during for suggesting they need to get a room. Honestly, I’d been daydreaming about this scene for weeks prior to actually writing it. Oh plus, trying to have anal sex over the arm of the sofa and Harry explaining drunkenly to an unfortunate Pansy who walks in on it, that he couldn’t get his dick in. Hahaha!

7. High Heels (have got me falling down on my knees), Ginny/Millicent, for Ginny flicking open the buttons on Millicent’s blouse one by one with her wand, for the garter belts, the on-the-desk cunnilingus, the whole butch/femme dynamic. I’m just really enamored of this one.

8. nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate,  Albus Severus/James Sirius. This was tough, because this list wouldn’t be right if I didn’t include at least one James/Al, but I literally could have picked any of them because I think I love them equally. Also, they tend to be one shots and so many of them *are* just one scene in the first place. I picked this one at random, but I really do like James being this unrepentant bottom and loving bottoming and loving doing it for his own brother. There are a couple lines that I especially love:

“Come up my arse, you sick little bastard,” James urged him, knowing it’s what his brother needed to hear. He needed to be forced to face their transgressions. He’d come harder this way. He’d fill James up.

and

He didn’t watch as Al prepared to sneak back out his own window.
But then Al called, “See you back out there.”
James lifted his gaze, saw his brother straddling the window sill, his Radiohead t-shirt slightly askew, and he said, “I’m so bloody sore, Albus.”

(Because I might have a thing for whoever bottoms liking being used, used well and often, and then being sore from it.)

Ahem! Moving on.

9. Right Hand Red, Harry/Draco: Harry in his big gay chair with what’s left of his throbbing gay erection. My heart! :D Also, just those moments when they’re on top of one another during the Twister and they realize they’re both hard. Then the scene with the kissing in Spinning the Bottle. I love that kiss! Then the shower when Draco runs the backs of his fingers over the trail of hair beneath Harry’s navel down to his crotch and says, “I like this.” I love the simplicity of that.

10. check this hand 'cause I’m marvelous, Harry/Draco: The lap dance. I mean, who doesn’t want to see a proud-to-be-super-gay Draco Malfoy lose a bet on purpose so he can give Harry a lap dance in front of everyone?! (Okay, well I do.)

11. Vocabulary, Harry/Draco. It’s only 365 words, but it’s one of those stories where I feel like every word is exactly how I want it, even still.

12. let me see you stripped (down to the bone), Harry/Draco: The over-the-pants blowjob that first time they actually have sex on stage. Gggguh!

13. Side-Along, Harry/Draco: “Fuck!” Draco spat, looking around himself in disbelief.
Potter turned to him and crossed his arms. “By any chance is your life malfunctioning?”

Still one of my favorite lines I’ve ever written! Plus, that sex scene with Draco draped over the bike…

Ahem!

14. Burning the Ground, Harry/Draco: Because all the motherfucking KNOTTING. And the rimming. And the circling they do before they get to it – unf!

15. Not Waving but Drowning, Sirius/Harry: “Sirius’ mouth was sooty and hot. Harry’s clothes rent in his hands, blistering the silence. Harry gasped into his mouth.” To be fair though, I really love how this entire thing turned out. It’s rare, I think, to feel like you get exactly what you wanted to say said in 1k, but this is one of those times.

16. I’m saving this slot for my Erised. So I’ll let you know after reveals. ;)

Thanks again for the Ask, Bix! I’m sorry it took me so long!

Midnight discussions ©
  • At 2.00 am in the Marauder's dormitory...
  • Sirius: James, I wonder if your mom and dad went along like you and Evans do.
  • James: Shut up Sirius.
  • Peter: No actually it is a really good question! Did they James?
  • James: I am not talking about this.
  • Remus: Please don't say that you are talking about the werewolf on the moon again?
  • Sirius: No, we are not but I still want to know what would happen, though.
  • Peter: Yes! And I want to know about your parents James!
  • James: No you don't.
  • Peter: Yes I do.
  • Remus: Both of you shut up!
  • Sirius: And what about me?
  • Remus: You, come here and sleep with me. You better shut up if you sleep with me, though.
  • Sirius: I will.
  • James: Please, silencing charms. I want to sleep.
  • Peter: WOLFSTAR IS GOING TO-
  • James: *slaps his hand in front of Peter's mouth* Yeah good night.

New camper: Why do both Apollo’s Greek and Roman forms have the same name when no other gods’ Greek and Roman forms do?

Will: That’s actually a really good question. I don’t kn–

Apollo: *swoops down from the sky* Because you can’t improve perfection, of course, silly demigod. *winks* *makes finger guns* *flies away*

Will: *scowling* Show-off.

Nico: *also scowling* Don’t worry darling, you’re the one who’s perfect, not your father.

Will: *smiles* I love you, you know that?

Nico: *grinning* I know.

thisisntrlynessecary  asked:

hii ;w; i love this blog alot !! would you write anything about Eijiro Kirishima's teeth? maybe headcanons about how he eats or how he does stuff in bed !! thank u ( i hope ur having a good week!!)

I hope you’re having a good week too!! This is actually a really good question, I spent quite a while contemplating this.

- It’s kinda hard for him to floss. He’s trying his best.

- Sometimes he accidentally bites his tongue while he’s eating. It hurts so badly.

- One time he actually had to be sent to the ER because he bit into his tongue too hard.

- He used to bite his nails as a little kid, but he eventually stopped because he’d accidentally draw blood.

- At times he gets nervous while kissing because he’s worried he’ll hurt his S/O.

- Kirishima likes to nip at his partner’s neck on occasion, but he has to be careful. Otherwise, he could end up seriously injuring them!

- His bite pattern is very distinct, so if he leaves a hickey, everyone can tell it was from him.

anonymous asked:

what's your opinion on the "ouma is komaeda 2.0" debate? or, more aptly put: why is ouma NOT komaeda 2.0

I’ve written various points about why Ouma and Komaeda are extremely different as characters in previous meta, but all of them were a long time ago, and I don’t think I’ve ever actually written an entire post that was only dedicated to talking about the two of them. So this is actually a really, really good question, and one that I’ve been meaning to respond to for a while.

In order to go into depth about why the two of them are so different as characters (and most importantly, why Ouma isn’t just “Komaeda 2.0” or a “purple Komaeda clone” or anything of the sort), I’ll have to talk about spoilers for all of ndrv3. So please only read if you’re comfortable with that!

Keep reading

aemiliaprima  asked:

I just had a funny coming out story that I'd like to share. We were talking about famous celebrities and I kind of mentioned that I should have known I was ace when I didn't find any of them hot, and my friends took it in stride, but a couple of days later one of my friends got me alone, and the question he asked me was "what was puberty like for you then?" Which I found, and still find, an absolutely hilarious question, as well as a thoughtful one.

That’s actually a really good question. Ace puberty is a discussion on its own.

- Fae

bokulikescomics  asked:

i wonder if Adrien thinks Marinette rambles and is awkward with everyone and what his reaction would be if he found out that isnt the case

This is actually a really good question, you know? I wonder if he thinks that she stutters and ramble in general when she is nervous or if he is aware that she is only like that around him.

And I mean, some people are starting to blame him for being so “naïve”, but I think is not his fault? I mean not only he is new to normal human interaction outside his father, two employees (one of them doesn’t even speak) and ONE friend; but he also has no way of knowing Marinette is not like that around others if she is always like that when he is present.

You know what I mean?

But I mean I’d sell the other half of my soul to see his reaction to this realization already. 

howling-sage  asked:

Hi! I was wondering about that recent post you reblogged with Utan the crocodile. Is it safe for people to be in there with him and interacting so closely? I assume the people know what they're doing and that there are safety measures in place that you just can't see or recognize from those pictures and/or that he's received some kind of training for the demonstration shown. But he's so HUGE that I would worry that even a small accident would be devastating?

That’s actually a really good question and something that’s actually pretty tricky to answer. The short answer is “No, it’s a bad idea to play tug of war with a crocodile during feeding time.” 

The longer answer is “It REALLY depends on you, the crocodile, and how the crocodile sees humans.” A lot of it really depends on the specific animal and how used they are to humans. If you tried this with a wild saltwater crocodile, you would be missing a hand- but Utan was born in captivity in 1964 and has been in human care ever since. He’s always been handled and he’s probably very predictable in his movements- after all, humans have been working with him for fifty-three years. Crocodilians are probably the easiest reptile to train; they respond SUPER well to operant conditioning and are pretty tractable. Making crocs “work” for their food is also used as a distraction technique because it does grab their attention and gives them something to focus on. Incidents with crocodiles in zoos are relatively rare (based on a rather cursory google search; I don’t have exact numbers), and all in all it seems like something that can be done by people who know what they’re doing. 

I imagine it’s like working with big cats- while accidents do happen sometimes, most of the time, people who know the animals well and who know what they’re doing tend to be safe.

the night’s on fire - chapter four

Like most things in my writing, this chapter grew a mind of its own and a completely different plot of its own, so… this will be fun. Now there’s a whole new plot line and drama worked up and I’m a bit excited for it.

This chapter is short and honestly a filter, but it does set things up in motion so… I’m sorry? :(

WARNINGS: This chapter deals with a character who is very heavily addicted to drugs. However, there’s no actual consuming of drugs, just talks about it. 

Enjoy!

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

you mentioned that the galra have little to no cultural control/domination over the galaxys culture (space mall), do you think there is a kind of space internet? did the galra limit cultural expression, or does zarkon not give a shit? lance is taking a selfie in the s3 trailer, is there a space snapchat/instagram?

I don’t think galra cultural expression is limited, as much as Zarkon has pretty much done everything to try and make the military in and of itself galra culture. The cornerstones are 1. Zarkon, 2. imperialism, and 3. the fleets.

Everything else, he just… doesn’t really care about or want to invest in and pulls resources away from to route back into himself, the military, and more conquest. So I think galra culture isn’t suffering from active suppression (outside of historical revision) as much as malicious neglect.

And again, with that specific stuff, I feel like there might actually have been a lengthy covert struggle between Zarkon and the Blade where Zarkon’s forces are pretty inclined to destroying any archaeological or historical source that doesn’t match up with what he wants it to and not really caring what it does to the history of his people.

I mean, I think about the idea of the galra having folk songs or oral traditions since those are fairly easily passed from person to person even if records of them are destroyed and it’s difficult to try and hunt people down for knowing a song. Especially because that’s something that could very well have survived the fall of Marmora since it seems the main thing that made it off that planet was the galra themselves.

Honestly I really like to explore that as a plot idea for fanfic or whatever, that in the face of somebody like Zarkon resistance doesn’t always necessarily mean punching people and action sequences. It can mean challenging the fundamental ideas they insist on.

And I keep thinking about… the idea that Zarkon disparages softness so much. Sure, the action is gonna happen, the big fight scenes, this is an action series- but it’d be incredible if the things that Zarkon has lost touch with, and thought of as beneath him, are the biggest things that come back to bite him.

As far as your other question I’d guess there’s space internet because the culture around the known universe is generally pretty futuristic and that’d suggest they probably actually have really good internet.

The question is, did the team have to jailbreak their phones to use space internet.

disparatenoise  asked:

Sorry if this question is a little too general a question, but here goes. I'm writing a story set during and after a nuclear-ish apocalypse and the main characters are cadets in a military academy. A lot of the conflict revolves around leadership through a harsh and stressful environment. My question is this: what are some behaviors you've noticed in CO/NCO's that indicated their in/competence? What actions motivated you? Give me some ways for a leader to fail their men or earn their trust.

This is actually a really good question! Thank you for reaching out to me!

 Well, I think everyone wants a different type of leader, so this is just my opinion. But what matters to me, in order, is the following:

Competence
NCOs and officers are in their position for a reason. They’re in charge of soldiers while at the same time performing the task the army employed them for. It’s not easy work, and very often a leader will falter either in performing their job or caring for their troops, or God forbid both. If an NCO is incompetent at maintaining his soldiers or an officer is incompetent at performing his job, that’s a very heavy hit on our morale. One person who can’t perform their duties hurts all of us. Furthermore, I’m more than willing to forgive someone for any of the following attributes as long as they’re competent. 
And this competence spans all things. Soldier care, equipment maintenance, and job knowledge/instruction ability. If I’m an E-2 and the E-5 directly in charge of me is my MOS, I should be able to ask them any standard question about my job and they should either know the answer or know where to find the answer. If my NCO doesn’t know shit about what I do, why should I trust them to oversee what I’m doing?

Attitude
Soldiers depend on their leadership for a lot of things. Instruction, well being, paperwork, and especially morale. If my NCO is a completely asshat and no one in the platoon likes them, our morale will be low, and we won’t care that much about the mission.
 Now, I’m not saying the leadership has to be soft, because that’s a whole ‘nother problem, and I’m not saying they can’t push us, because that’s what they’re there for. But it’s essential for leadership to build a genuine rapport with their soldiers, or else we’ll just wind up resenting them.
Personally, the chill factor for me is very important in a leader. Someone who’s got a stick up their ass just frustrates me; someone who thinks the only way to run a unit is to yell and punish frustrates me even more. Positive motivation is always superior to negative.

Organization
Is your leadership doing their job? Are they maintaining their paperwork? Are they aware of the current mission? Do they know what we need to be doing? Do we have to stay late because they forgot to tell us to do a task? Do we have to redo a task because they instructed us wrong the first time? Are our promotions and awards delayed indefinitely because they keep forgetting something? Our leaders need to have their shit in order or else everyone below them is going to be out of order. We understand when it’s not someone fault, when our superior’s superior is the one making a bad call, but there’s almost nothing more infuriating to a soldier than leadership that, through their own actions, has no idea what’s going on.

Softness
This encompasses both work ethic and personality. If my NCO is too forgiving, too lenient, too easy, too lazy, I don’t want them. There’s a big difference between being chill and being soft. NCOs and officers NEED to be able to push us and step up to the plate. They need to know when Enough is Enough and when to put their boots down. Having a leader with no backbone is worse than having no leader at all. Laziness is a disease in leadership as well; they do have to delegate, but they absolutely need to pull their own weight as well, and we can tell the difference between a leader who’s skimping on the work by passing it off and who’s adequately utilizing their resources by delegating. 


I think these four things are probably the thing I look for most. Softness is the least bothersome trait to me because, due to the nature of Soft leaders, it’s easy for someone who does know what they’re doing to sorta replace them/nudge them aside and become a de facto leader.

How a leader can fail their troops:
-not being there during the hard times, and I mean not only combat but during unpleasant conditions like cold, heat, low food and low water. NCOs who hole up in a warm tent while their soldiers are out shivering will earn some resentment.

-not ensuring their troops well being. NCOs ensure their troops are fed, watered, and rested the best they can manage. A good NCO will recognize when it’s time to give their squad a break, even if it’s only for an hour or two. It’s true that some dire situations require drastic measures, but great NCOs will replace their soldiers in those circumstances so that they can get an hour or two of sleep or enough time to swallow a cup of coffee. I’ve known NCOs who were practically ready to fist fight someone to get food for their troops, and you bet we had their backs from then on.

-blaming their troops for things that are their fault and taking credit for things their troops have done. NCOs are responsible for everything their troops do, good or bad. If the NCO messed up, that NCO needs to be upfront about how their fuck up resulted in their troops fucking up.

-overreacting to failure and under reacting to accomplishment, not to mention uneven treatment. Sometimes all we need is a pat on the back or a handshake and to be told we did good and they’re appreciative of our efforts. Sure, other rewards are even nicer, but often I was happy just to know my leadership thought I did a good job. Sometimes the only thing that kept me going was my leadership telling me I was the best at my job and they depended on me. Whether it was true, I don’t know; I hope so. But the point is that if our achievements aren’t acknowledged, we stop wanting to achieve.
Similarly, it’s important to punish us if we fuck up, but the punishment has to match the fuck up. We often know the difference between fair punishment and unfair punishment, and trust me, we DEFINITELY know when we’re being targeted with harsher punishment than someone else who made the same mistake. Consistency is important.

-we hold grudges because the army is literally high school. We remember when someone has wronged us and hadn’t made good on it. It takes a lot to regain the trust of soldiers who’ve already lost their respect for you. Demanding respect because of a rank when it hasn’t been earned can turn a number of soldiers against you. But if you fix yourself and start being a good leader again, we can forgive and move on. 

It sounds like NCOs and officers basically give everything to their troops, and that’s exactly how it should be. Your troops will reward you with full strength effort, motivation, and tolerance for the inevitable bullshit. Especially of NCOs, they need to distract their soldiers from the pure bullshit that is the army, because it is pure bullshit, and we’re very fucking aware of that. Furthermore, PNN, the private news network, is far reaching. Lower enlisted are not shy about talking shit about a bad leader, and it’ll get around. Just the same, a good leader will see PNN return favorable reviews, and often if those favorable reviews get high enough there will be positive rewards from up high.

Of course, this is all assuming a perfect world. Very frequently bad NCOs are sneaky and bad officers are asskissers, and they somehow avoid the karma of being a bad leader while good leaders fall wayside. Sometimes good leaders get into trouble and lose their rank, sometimes good leaders are overweight and are treated like shitbags, sometimes good leaders are disabled in some way and people look down on them. In reality, that’s s the way the cookie crumbles sometimes.

Equivalently, some lower enlisted are pure ass and don’t appreciate or respect even a good leader. A lot of us had very low tolerance for leaders who weren’t completely perfect, and were quick to turn on them. I’d really like to say that those people probably had some real shit leaders in the past, and they’ll come around if they get to meet a genuinely good leader. Some people are just fucking brats though; fuck them tbh. Ungrateful lower enlisted just breeds aloof and demoralized leaders. It’s a two way street.

Personally, I have a lot of respect for anyone who can perform their duties as an NCO or officer even 75% of the time. I cannot stress enough that being in a leadership position is not sunshine and roses.

-Spc. Kingsley

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anonymous asked:

Question I tend to use a lot of Japanese emojis because they help me the most to express my self (I always over worry if people understand my tone when texting) so if I know that one person in a chat group is blind could/ should I maybe add a small description after it? I want to be inclusive and I really don't know what is the best way (for a bit of context Japanese emojis sound like this ( ^ω^ ) and I can't imagine that helps a lot for a blind person, it's a smiling cat face if you were wonder

Hi there! That’s actually a really good question because those are something different that I haven’t really talked about specifically.

So for those Japanese-based ones, descriptions actually are helpful. I admit I never know what those ones are because the screen reader can’t interpret those ones as emojis and just read out the names of the sybols, which is something that always confuses me. Normal emoticons made from good old parenthases and colans make perfect sense because I know what those symbols look like, but I don’t know what an “omega” or whatever it says looks like because those aren’t regular English symbols that we use and are taught to recognize in our language. So those are actually really unique in that way and having a description I think would definitely help for those.