I’ve been informed that some random anti is claiming I’m no longer a larrie just because I’m no longer online, so I thought I’d pop in to let everyone know that I’m larry af til the day I die. There isn’t a thing in this world that will convince Harry and Louis were never together, and I absolutely still believe they’re together now. This has been a PSA. Just didn’t want to leave anyone unsure where my head’s at.
That said, this is pretty much absolutely goodbye. I love you guys lots, and I won’t delete my blog, and hell, maybe way down the line I’ll come back on. However, I just don’t see that as likely. I have to say that the tumblr culture is just not something I can see myself wanting to be a part of again.
A part of me is screaming not to post this. Just to leave it be and let my blog sit stagnant, leave me with the potential to come back one day like nothing ever happened and explain away my absence as “life got busy” - but a bigger part of me feels that that’s just not right. This blog has been such a big chapter of my life, I cannot leave it open ended. I won’t.
There are certainly many great people online, from my followers to my friends, who I am so grateful to have gotten to chat with and know. But, in recent months this environment as a whole has become very toxic to me. I’ve seen so many people who are unwilling to listen to any opinion but that of the majority, and moreso, they persecute those who think differently. I’ve seen friends of mine be cut down by people they thought they were close with, all because they weren’t falling in line with the main reasoning people had to explain things like babygate. I’ve seen people I considered to be my friends throw away that friendship on a dime.
I urge everyone to remember that listening to an opinion you do not agree with is not a bad thing. Being friends with someone who doesn’t believe the same things as you is not a bad thing. If you put aside your difference of belief you can learn and grow from each other. If you surround yourself with only people who parrot what you say, or vice versa, then it is incredibly difficult to expand on your beliefs or arguments. I say this to larries and antis alike, plus anyone who falls in between. The fandom divisions have got to stop. It does no one any good.
Beyond that, I think everyone should carefully consider the implications of babygate debunking. Do I think there’s a baby? Fuck if I know. Some days I lean to yes, other days I lean to no. I have heard that Freddie was added to the California census, and that shit isn’t easily faked. I saw the posts comparing pics of him to a doll, which seems somewhat compelling, and at the same time not near compelling enough considering baby faces are generally rather similar to me. My point remains though, that none of us can say with absolute certainty that there isn’t a child’s life here. As such, I think it’s straight up wrong to continue to make posts about Freddie being fake. We just don’t know. If you believe absolutely that he is not real then there is no harm in refraining from making anymore posts on the topic until the denial. This is the most effective way of minimizing the pain we may cause if it turns out there IS a real baby.
Please do not take this post to be accusatory, or to be self-righteous. I in no way hold myself apart from this community. I do not claim to have been removed from the two issues I’ve taken with fandom that are outlined above. I just would like my final post on here to be honest. This is how I feel. Leaving here I feel bittersweet about everything. I love y’all to death, but I can’t pretend to be full of nothing but good partings in the wake of some of the stuff I’ve witnessed.
Other parting notes: Yes I think Briana and the family are horrible. Yes I still think Louis and Harry are together. No I don’t think Louis and Harry ever broke up or cheated on each other. Yes I think Harry is going to have a solo album. Yes I think 1D will come back from their hiatus. No I don’t think Zayn and 1D hate each other. Yes I love Zayn. Yes I love OT4. Yes I love OT5. Yes I am happy to have gotten to interact with all you guys. Yes I will miss you. Yes I love you guys. Yes, all of you guys, even the ones I ended on bad terms with. No I’m not tearing up right now. Okay, yes I am tearing up right now.
And to quote 1D: “We had some good times didn’t we? We wore our hearts out on our sleeves. Goodbyes are bittersweet, but it’s not the end.”
Always in my heart, Larry and Larries. Yours sincerely, Jay.
Hi cuties. I’m taking a break from tumblr. Everything is just so confusing and shitty and it’s making me very depressed for some reason. I want to enjoy my summer as much as I want to. I also have summer training which fucking sucks. Anyways, I have lots of posts queued and I won’t delete them. I’ll still reblog things but I won’t answer asks unless it’s something important. If you want to chat with me, follow and dm me on twitter @cheekyfravan. I’ll mostly be online there. Have a nice day everyone. I love you guys so much 💗
P.S. I still have faith in tronnor. Maybe they’re still together or maybe they’ll stay friends. Eitherway, that seems amazing and I’m happy for them.
okay, so i dont really know how to put this into words, so prepare for some thought spam…
completely out of the blue i got hit by a lot of criticizing thoughts from myself to myself basically telling me that what i was doing wasnt enough. levi had a major existential crisis is what i mean
i am taking a break from my blog. now for a lot of you that probably wont make a difference since ive got nearly 1.4k internet hobos follwing this shit and im sure you all have plenty of other blogs that make cool edits, funny memes and great content. but i kind of looked at what i do online and what used to seem funny and enjoyable and worthwhile now seems like a chore and something i feel pressured to maintain. ive been inactive for about a month now, my recent posts have been queued from a while back. i go online to check on my internet friends and see how you all are doing because i genuinely care, but as for my blog, its dead.
idk what im doing wrong but the number in followers have been dropping- and not just a stray follower overnight, but buches of people consistently. i try not to think of tumblr as numbers and statistics, because i am thankful for every follower on this site, but it can get kind of daunting. i look at my content and its the same as everything else. i always for myself to make a difference for someone else, as naive and stupid as that sounds. i am well aware that i wont do anything that will truly be remembered, theres no point in having fool’s hope.
i look at edits and fics and art and just wish that i could produce something that someone will see or read and think “wow this will be something i remember.” im still going to write and post to my side channel where i write fanfics, but im not sure what ill even do.
if im going to be truly honest, i nearly deleted this blog nearly half an hour ago without any goodbye to any of my friends or anything. it was not out of malice, but more so just to prove a point to my sad little ego that given a few weeks all the amazing people i talk to here wont even remember me. but im not deleting it, despite how i feel now im sure the future me will find some good use to come from this blog.
it just dims my mood to think how much i enjoy being online, yet now i kind of feel distant and aware that this is all just a distraction. im leaving highschool in two years then going into uni. my plan was to do a course in cinematography and creative writing, but then what? the chances of me doing something career wise with those qualifications is slim for my chance of success. my family is already trying to persuade me to do something “legitimate” so im looking into other career options.
and what has me so stumped and conflicted is does it even matter? they say do something you enjoy right? but what if you cant enjoy what you do, but you have no choice? if i follow thru with the art aspect, my income will be slow and i’ll feel the judgement of my family for taking such a foolish dream to be a career. but if i do something i wont enjoy, itll pay the bills but at the cost of my own happiness? i dont know if im being extreme but it genuinely scares me to think that we all wait to plan our lives out and once thats done its the end, lights out goodbye.
so this blog, wow what a deep textpost coming from sucha trashy blog right? well here is the only place i can get my writing recognised, but this site is filled with people who have so much more talent and will to create such things.
im not deleting my blog, but im not going to be active for a while. a few more things are still queued and all of you are so lovely to me but i just need some time to try and think of a pleasant way to manage through life, and sadly tumblr is no longer something that makes me happy.
“I would like to be remembered as someone who accomplished useful deeds, and who was a kind and loving person. I would like to leave the memory of a human being with a correct attitude and who did her best to help others.”