this-game-is-so-ridiculous

honestly, living in a point-and-click/hidden object game must be so wild like

you want to go to the shop to buy some milk? Okay just hop in the car.

except you’ve lost your car keys.

so you look around for them, but they’re nowhere to be found. you’ve recently found there’s a mouse living in your house and you saw it holding something shiny earlier. maybe its got your car keys? so you go to lure it out with some cheese. except you don’t have any cheese in your fridge. so you go over to your neighbour’s house and ask if you could borrow a little bit of cheese. they say yeah but they need to find their handkerchief first. it’s gone missing and they simply must have it. after some looking you spot it caught on a telephone wire. your neighbour has a ladder but most of the rungs are broken. so you go to the forest and gather up some wood. while there, you meet another neighbour who’s lost their favourite necklace, and asks you to tell them if you see it. there’s an a abandoned shed in the wood and in it you find a rusty old hammer. there are nails, but they’re bent and rusty. so then you scout around your house, your neighbours house, the wood, the shed, and your otherneighbours house, and collect up some random shards to metal that are just lying around.

so go back to your first neighbour’s house and fix the ladder with the rusty hammer and random metal shards

using the (dubiously-fixed) ladder, you get their hankie from the phone line. the moment you’re back on the ground, the ladder breaks but who gives a fuck because you got the handkerchief. you give the hankie to your neighbour, they give you the cheese. you go and put the cheese outside a mousehole. the mouse comes out

it’s holding a marble.

it drops the marble, and you pick it up.

you go outside, and there’s a kid searching around. they lost their favourite marble, but they found this nice necklace. you give the kid the marble. they give you the necklace.

you go back to the woods. your necklace-neighbour isn’t there. you go to their house. they’re not there. you go to the handkerchief neighbour’s house. not there. your house. not there. eventually you find them in some ignorable part of the map that has had no relevance to now and will have no relevance again.

you give the neighbour the necklace.

they claim they found your car keys out in your drive.

finally

finally you can go to the shop and get some milk

you go home. read a specific piece of paper to get the code to your garage, and collect three keys.

using the keys and the code, you open your garage.

your car has no wheels.

“Not really.”


“Again, not really.”


“Seriously though, it hasn’t.”


“We were talking with each other during the beginning of this game.”


“This is getting ridiculous.”


“Not so much the case, madam.”


“For the last time, NO.”


“NO.”


“NOOOOO.”


“NOOOOOOO-okay that one actually is justified.”

10

“by monday, this will all be but a dream. trust me, no one will remember anything. except maybe that i accused cheryl of twincest.”

6

She shouldn’t be asleep. She’ll just get more depressed if she’s asleep. What she needs is some kind of hobby. She needs to get out of the house, she needs to exercise.

2

So like a nerd I headed straight for the Rito village for advancing the main story of the game…they’re my favorite Zelda race (BIRD PEOPLE! WINGS!!), and I love the outfit you can buy there, it’s neat and viking-esque and cute!! ;v; I couldn’t decide which color cast I liked better though, so here’s both.

I spent all this time goofing off in the wild, I just now finished my first “Divine Beast” dungeon…it was amazing, and I’m glad to see the story side of this game certainly does not disappoint! :’D

Happy one year anniversary UNDERTALE !

The whole “fiction doesn’t effect reality” and the “It’s just a game/movie/book/show” arguments are so… ridiculous? Especially if said game/movie/book/show is attempting to do commentary on real life social issues. Like so many of these forms of media are trying to mix real life events into their works but they’re failing at the basics at it and in turn have a negative impact…

Take Overwatch for example… Blizzard is trying so damn hard to make the people who don’t like omnics to be villainous. But that whole idea falls flat when it’s shown that the reason omnics aren’t trusted is because they fucking started a world war. Like??? Yeah? Of course they’re not going to be well liked years after the war? So turning around and telling us that these robots are oppressed and anyone who doesn’t like them is wrong… is just dumb. That’s not how oppression works. Like yeah, how omnics are being treated is shitty but to act like there isn’t a valid reason for them to not be trusted is a blatant misunderstanding of oppression… At no point in time were oppressed groups ever held worldwide power over their oppressors.

And in turn by having the marginalized group hold power over their oppressors, it makes the hatred of them justified. Oppression is NEVER justified. At no point should “Yeah this group is mistreated… But look at the destruction they caused” ever be said. There shouldn’t be a “But” or a “well they did do this” when you are discussing oppression and prejudices. 

So having your Latino character, Gabriel Reyes, flat out say “Omnics built their cities and did the jobs humans didn’t want to do. In return: No rights and no citizenship” is so damn obviously about undocumented Mexican immigrants, it’s not even a joke. Or even have your Muslim Egyptain character, Ana Amari, say “They’re not extremist Gabriel. They’re terrorist.” Or the fact that there’s a mandatory registration for omnics, paralleling Jewish people during the rise of Nazi Germany. Like holy shit? They couldn’t be more on the nose with this shit.

The bad thing is tho, is despite how just how poor Blizzard (or any company/writers for that matter) is handling this, you’re still have those people who act like this is good commentary. Like the words of actual marginalized people wasn’t enough for them to understand what we’re going through. Nope. A million dollar company or inexperienced writers had to give their bullshit perspective of oppression and some of y’all will just eat it up. 

key in college
  • double major in architecture and classical studies
  • only writes in drafting lead pencils 
  • they’re heavy and now if he writes with anything else (like pens) it’s WEIRD that they’re so light and his handwriting gets a bit wonky so he’s like nah and switches back 
  • oscillates wildly between super crazy outfits and comfy sweats 
  • but honestly his sweats are still fashion af with like leather pocket detailing or paisley patterns up the leg 
  • it’s v hard to miss him on campus and when he walks next to onew the fashion discrepancy is so. real.
  • also people stare but he looks good and he’s going to wear what he wants~~
  • motto: it’ll take the same amount of time to get ready if he dresses trendy or not so he might as well???  
  • always willing to let friends borrow clothes and takes great pride that their wardrobes have gotten better just by associating with him 
  • he’s been featured in the uni catalog multiple times and he and his mom both save them and he looks really good in them: either candidly laughing with ot4 or just walking around with glasses looking scholarly af
  • packs his lunch from home every day even if he has to run around the kitchen with his toothbrush in his mouth while he fries eggs and preps salad
  • on every monday literally does not understand where the weekend went
  • stops at the cafe every morning to “buy” americanos (make jong’s life miserable) so that he could actually wake up  
  • he actually did work at the cafe with onew and jong for a little bit but quit bc he hated it 
  • will sometimes walk behind the counter and get himself coffee when it’s their shifts (jong: *advances threateningly with a broom*) and walks away triumphantly, coffee in hand 
  • they found it much easier to just hand him coffee before he starts an incident (onew: you’re srsly going to go to uni jail or something / key: *takes a sip* no such thing) 
  • also literally the only reason why he started drinking black coffee was bc people take forever around the creamers/milk and kim kibum does not have enough time to wait around for them to stop moving at sloth’s pace 
  • always carries around a tube for his sketches that he slings around his shoulder 
  • it’s also good for smacking people with (mostly used on minho when he gives him that slow up down like water you wearing / key: you have NO right to judge choi) 
  • but otherwise he takes care of that thing like it’s his own child and he calls all of his sketches his babies 
  • and as much coffee he drinks he makes sure that there are never any coffee rings on the draft paper 
  • taemin’s not allowed to sit at the same table as him when he’s sketching bc of that one time he spilled some of his hot chocolate and key almost died 
  • it’s super cool to watch him draw bc he gets really focused with his ruler and he just clearly has such a vision that just comes to life on the paper 
  • also takes the time to draw trees and little people around the structure (taemin: is that us / key: yeah i draw all of us in all my sketches) 
  • as much as he loves the creative parts of architecture he’s also really interested in the mechanics behind what it takes to BUILD a building and have it be structurally sound
  • tbh he thought he would absolutely hate physics but it just kinda makes sense?? it’s the order of the world and he appreciates that there are certain absolutes 
  • when he goes out with his friends he’s always pointing out what influences each building has and basically geeks out about the buttresses and sidings and stuff!!!! which his classical studies major definitely gave him a deeper appreciation for 
  • when it’s too cold for too long he gets restless af bc he’s more of a spring/summer person
  • so as soon as it hits ~22°C he’s out on the quad with his huge reflective sunglasses spread out on a blanket 
  • jong brings his speaker out and plays music and they attempt to do homework but they’re honestly just rolling around playing games on their phones 
  • RIDICULOUSLY good at candy crush 
  • srsly he plays so often he finishes all the levels and has to wait until the next update for the next level like is there some elite scoreboard for that bc he would definitely be on it???

can we please get rid of the idea that you have to play hockey in order to know the game because that’d be nice

Zombies in the Snow

When Uncle Monty took the Baudelaire children to see this movie in “The Reptile Room”, I thought it was a clever allusion to “Game of Thrones”, you know, another popular show that probably every binge-watching Netflix user would know. Then I found out that this part was in the books, too. And saw the illustration:

Now I want to see “Zombies in the Snow”.