For the first time in a long time I was finally more confident in the way I looked and was learning to love my natural hair (extremely curly and frizzy) but now I got a haircut and it looks like shit it's so short and ugly and there's nothing I can do and I sound so vain but it's like. After years of hating on myself and bashing how I looked I'd come to hey maybe I'm not so bad. Idk it sounds stupid but if just looks so bad and my hair takes so long to grow back aaargh this is stupid I'm sry
Don’t be sorry! There’s nothing stupid about this.
It takes time to get used to something new. It takes time to get comfortable with a certain look, to bring yourself to see and accept who you are, both inside and out.
Everyone has their own tastes. It isn’t a reflection of your own self esteem or worth to think ‘I don’t look good like this’. There’s a difference between thinking there are certain ways that you don’t appear so visually appealing, and thinking no matter what you will never look visually appealing. One is a matter of aesthetic, the other is a matter of self-worth and confidence.
And there’s nothing wrong or vain with liking how you look; it’s good to take pride in your own image after all. It only becomes vanity when you use your outer reflection to define your inner one, and believing that being attractive on the outside automatically not only makes you attractive on the inside, but superior as well.
I can sympathize with you because I’ve always had issues with my hair. The hair itself is thin, but I have a lot of it, so my total volume of hair is very thick. I also have natural curls, and though my hair isn’t ‘curly’ per se, it is pretty wavy and tangles REALLY easily / quickly. Doesn’t help that my scalp is tender af.
So my entire life has been a battle with this hair of mine, because on the outside (when it’s fully combed through and washed) it looks beautiful, but the maintenance is not only ridiculously hard, it’s painful. I can’t recount the amount of times I’ve cried or screamed as a child when my mom would comb my hair. And I avoid doing it myself because it hurts, so it ends up getting into huge balls and nests on the back of my head (like really really bad), to the point where I’ve cut it out several times instead of combing it all out… which made it look really fucking weird. Despite all this I always liked my hair better with it longer, but it’s hard and painful enough to manage at shoulder length. I also hate the curliness of my hair, so I want to get it straightened. It looks better to me and will be easier to brush.
BUT anyway my point is, with all that, I had to make a concession. I wanted my hair longer, and I thought it looked better, but I found another way that I liked my hair without it needing to be longer. So you may hate your hair now, but if you experimented with it (whether it’s just putting accessories in it, or dying it, or getting it straightened, anything), you might be able to turn it around into a way you like it.
Also there are hair extensions and stuff available, so you can always try that if you still want longer hair without waiting for your hair to grow back!