this will help my summer

talesfromcallcenters: I don't always brand my calls, but when I do,

“Thank you for calling [big-ish cable company], my name is lyingassplatypus, how can I help you today?”

“Hi, I just got back from my summer home and my equipment is not working.”

“My apologies for any inconvenience, sir. Your account is popping up now. I’ll access your equipment right away… Here we are.”

*We spend roughly 5 minutes trying to narrow down which piece of equipment is not working - what he’s describing doesn’t match his account, so I verify his name and phone number*

“Sir, I’m sorry. It appears as though your equipment is online. I don’t see any issues here, but if we are to troubleshoot, we need to be sure we’re working with the correct devices.”

“Listen. I’ve been on the phone with you for 30 (actually 5) minutes now, and I don’t have time for this. You have my account pulled up but my equipment isn’t making any sense? I’m looking right at it. It doesn’t have a brand name. It doesn’t have any markings like you say it should. Clearly you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, so if you’re too fucking stupid to know your way around your own goddamn equipment, you can get me to someone who knows how to do their job.”

“My apologies, sir. I’m not here to waste your time. The thing is, the type of device you’re describing doesn’t match anything we carry. You’re sure this isn’t from a different company?”

“[Long, frustrated pause] Are you fucking stupid? Get me a supervisor, right now.”

“Of course, sir. Let’s see here, just taking down some notes…seems to be satellite equipment…”

“Is this Direct TV?”

“No sir, this is [competitor]. We’re required to announce our company when picking up the phone call (no we’re not).”

“Oh my god. I’m so sorry.”

“Heeyy, it happens. But, you do have an account with us.”

“Yes, it’s my summer home. The services were running great over there with you guys. So sorry, man, I was really saving that for Direct TV.”

“We’re here for you if you need us, sir: 24/7.”

MotherFUCKER gave me 5’s on the CSAT.

By: lyingassplatypus


Small gems like her are as easy to lose as a cell phone, but instead of just getting a new one from the store you have to snatch it out of the air, lock it in your bathroom, and re-indoctrinate its entire system of beliefs


#BestLeaderJBDay (jan 6, 1994) 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

it’s your special day, jaebum!!!!!!!!!!!!  you are another year older today, so i’m gonna take a paragraph or so to be all sappy over you 😚  when i first became a fan of got7 last year, you were the first member that caught my eye.  your heavenly voice captivated me, and yes, so did ur angry jaw 😁  and then when i started watching more videos, i fell in love with each and every little thing about you.  everything from the way you move to how friggin’ amazing of a writer you are to how much you care for your fellow members ( i 👀  those heart eyes, mister! ) to how much of a big mushy, marshmallow you are underneath your ‘chic & sexy’ persona 💕  jackson might have ended up as my ult, but you will forever and always hold a huge piece of my heart because a girl doesn’t forget who catches her heart first 😌 


i hope your 24th year is the best one yet, and i hope you get spoiled with lots of cake, cuddles, and gifts today 💓 


I know that we should never get our hopes up about spring in March. We shouldn’t. But the sun has been shining for a week and I can’t help feeling happy and hopeful!!! ITS SUMMER!!!! GET OUT YOUR SHORTS MY FRIENDS AND THROW AWAY YOUR JACKET


hi all!~

this is a lil bunch of graphics i made to help people with handwriting!! i realised when going back to school after the summer that my handwriting had worsened a little because i wasn’t writing over the summer. so, i condensed what helped me get my writing in tip top condition again! ofc handwriting isn’t the be-all-end-all and i think we forget that here when we see such beautiful notes on our dash. but it can help those that may struggle reading their own handwriting or maybe get a bit embarrassed about it :)

i hope this helps you achieve ur handwriting dreams *o*

handwriting goALS: x

much love x