VICTUURI “THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA” AU. (with a few changes.) BEAR WITH ME HERE.
Yuuri is a journalist major who wants to be a fashion journalist more than anything in the world
He looks up to Victor Nikiforov, editor of History Maker Magazine, a very very famous and prestigious company with millions of subscribers
Unexpectedly, he gets a job as Victor’s secretary, he’s super excited but he discovers that Victor ROASTS people when he doesn’t like their ideas
(and by roast i don’t mean he yells at them, i mean he smiles and tells them politely that it’s terrible and everyone is like??? is he nice??? is he evil??? omg i am horrified of him)
(He has a soft spot for his poodle, though, so after destroying several people’s hopes and dreams and telling them to come up with something else he’s like ‘MAKKACHIN!’ and happily jumps away to pet his dog)
Yurio is Victor’s little brother who he has a soft spot for and who loiters around the building and gives Yuuri a hard time by throwing spitballs at him
Anyway, Victor sees Yuuri as his new secretary and thinks he’s super cute but he has no idea how to express it so he tries to give him really hard jobs and Yuuri is like oh my god what the heck I am overwhelmed
He also gives him a lot of opportunities, though, and Yuuri does his best with them and keeps succeeding and Victor is internally super proud but externally like ‘hmm keep going. here’s another assignment.’
(But Victor keeps selecting him to go on different trips w/ him and Yuuri is like ???????? ok why am i getting all this special attention this is hype)
Somehow Victor works out how to express his feelings and tells Yuuri and they fall in love happily ever after
I love this kid alright but when he does his live shows he underestimates his popularity and I genuinely don’t understand. He has repetitively been saying “people on Tumblr you’re probably like wait, what? who’s this guy? I just followed for the memes and sarcastic humour. Yeah hi nice to meet you now I’ll just be chilling on your dashboard don’t mind me” like WE KNOW YOU, EVERYONE KNOWS YOU. Dan, your are so much more relevant and famous than you think you are. No one on your Tumblr is following you and doesn’t know who you are. No one doesn’t know why your popping up on the YouTube channel and what YouNow is.
P.s. sorry if no one else is bothered by this but I had to get this shit out 😂
i’m going to bed soon probably but give me a long distance plot where muse a is famous as fuck and creates a fake fan account on twitter/tumblr to feel kinda closer to fans and it’s all good and no one really knows it’s him and it’s all good and he’s getting to know what fans want from him but then enters muse b, who’s so completely in love with muse a and his music. the two begin to talk and they become friends and soon they’re texting constantly and she tells him everything and fangirls about her idol to him and they’ve both caught feelings really badly. so one day muse b gets a little scared that she’s being catfished so she asks muse a to video call her. out of fear of losing her, he agrees and, surprise bitch, it’s her fucking idol.
Everyone: summer jobs
Sharpay: turkey from maine
Troy: hire my friends pls
Jason: wtf i just burned this guys toast
Taylor: the boss is such a creep
Gabriella: ok guys break it up
Kelsey: na na naaa na
Troy: you are gonna get sooo WEEEEEET
Sprinklers: haha fuk u guys
Chad: i dont dance
Gabriella: nice water aerobies oldies
Chad: were like brothers since pre k dude
Troy: fuk u
Gabriella: the plan is always rearranged
Troy: what about us
Gabriella: i never liked this necklace anyway
Sharpay: youre just jealous cuz i won
Gabriella: i don’t wanna play wtf!!!!
Troy: its no good at all, to see yourself and n
Troy: woah this reflection is uncanny
Troy: im not gonna stop notgonnastoptilligetmyshot
Sharpay: humu humu’s back on
Ryan: lol nope
Troy: once in a lifetime
Troy: IS THAT GABBY
Gabby: hi sorry can I have my necklace back
Miley Cyrus: CAMEOS R FUN
It seems like every day, millennials find new ways to feel unique and different. Special Snowflake Syndrome is running rampant and with it comes the need to invent new things to make themselves stand out and “out-oppress” their peers. One of the ways this manifests itself is Social Justice Warriors’ obsession with gender and gender identity. Don’t believe me? Go read Complete List of Tumblr Genders (So far); there are at least 300 genders in there, and new ones get invented every day.
On Friday, March 4th 2016, a group of SJWs and feminists gathered outside the Railway Club in Vancouver where a man named Augustus Invictus was scheduled to give a talk. He was stopped at the Canadian border and refused entry on the grounds that he “has no legitimate reason to enter the country and will just cause trouble.” Internet famous journalist Lauren Southern was on the scene where she got into an argument with some of the feminists, and made a mistake of saying the words “sorry guy, but there are only two genders.” Moments later, she was drenched in urine by one of the feminists, who seemed to have taken offense at her statement. Social Justice Warriors want to be special, and they will attack anyone who tries to make them face reality.
Luckily, science and human biology does not care about people’s feelings. You can live in your childish delusions all you want, but at the end of the day, you are either male or female. Period.
“But what about transgender individuals?”
This is how Social Justice Warriors usually reply. This one is always a fun one to deal with, because by implying that there are more than two genders because transgender people exist, they are pretty much admitting to themselves that they don’t think transwomen are “real women” or that transmen are “real men.” After all, if people are whatever gender they have transitioned to then how exactly does that break the “gender binary?” Whether you are one of those people who believe that people are whatever gender they transition into or you are one of those who think people are whatever they are born as and that changing your gender is impossible, the point still stands. At the end of the day, that person is still either male or female.
“But….But…….But gender is whatever you identify as!”
Nonsense. If gender is whatever you identify as, then gender is irrelevant and nonsensical. I am yet to hear a good reason why what someone “identifies as” is relevant or important in any way. In a debate about the existence of God, if a theist states that he identifies as God, does that mean he is God and God is now real? If a student identifies as a someone who graduated summa cum laude, is the university obligated to give him that honor? This type of thinking isn’t permitted in any other form of discourse, so why would we permit it here?
“Gender is a social construct.”
Incorrect. Gender is entirely biological and based on genetics. You might be thinking of “gender roles,” which are something completely different. If your counter argument here is to inform me that gender differs from sex, I don’t have to necessarily disagree with you to tell you why you’re wrong. Fair enough. Let’s say that the current definition proposed by certain social scientists is true and that “sex” is whatever is between your pants and “gender” is what is in your brain/what gender you feel like. At the end of the day, your genitals aren’t a social construct, and neither are your brain waves.
Yes, sex is biological, and:
Yes, gender is also biological.
Stop confusing “gender” with “gender roles.”
“But gender is a spectrum”
When you hear this argument from a Social Justice Warrior, it means s/he has reached their endgame. This is the last cry of someone who knows they are losing a battle. I do not agree that gender is a spectrum, but the current consensus in neuroscience is that it is, so lets go with that. I couldn’t care less, because my point stands either way.
To suggest that there are more than two genders because gender exists in a spectrum is outrageous. Consider this;
Feelings exist in a spectrum. You could feel sorry, ashamed, angry, happy, sad, etc and each of these feelings exist in a spectrum. How happy you are about winning $5,000 in the lottery would be observably “happier” than if you only won $50. Being hit on your head by a falling fruit would make you angry, as would someone stealing your car, but one would make you measurably angrier, which I’m guessing would be the stolen car. To suggest that the anger you feel when you get hit on the head by a fruit isn’t really anger because its not as intense as the anger you feel over your stolen car is just poor logic. The anger from the falling fruit isn’t a different type of feeling, it’s just an already existing feeling at a different intensity.
Similarly, height exists in a spectrum. There are tall people who are 5’9″, 6’0″, 6’1″, 6’2″. all of these are tall people. You do not have to invent a new height name for every one of these different tall heights (mega tall, ultra tall, super tall, bio tall – I can actually imagine a Social Justice Warrior doing this). Nobody has the time to to memorize whatever special name you have invented for your unique brand of tallness. Even if we had the time, we wouldn’t want to.
What am I trying to say here, then? Just because you stray a little from the traditional norms of masculinity or femininity doesn’t make you another gender, it just makes you one of the two genders with a few distinctions. A man who loves to wear pink isn’t a “non-binary demiboy” or a “pink-transvongender-boy,” he’s just a man who likes pink. Same goes for women. No matter what side of the male or female spectrum you are, you are still either male or female. A feminine man isn’t a new gender, he’s just a man (who has some feminine qualities).
Stop trying to make yourself feel special; you aren’t.
You look back at your parents to see that they have already engaged in conversation with the Gillum’s again, paying absolutely no mind to you making it easier for you and Gerald to walk out the front door. As soon as you were out the door you grab his wrist and whisper
“Not yet wait till we get to your house, my parents have security cameras.” He nods and continues leading you to his house as if his intentions were nothing less than what you wanted. Once the front door of his house is open he picks you up and slams the door shut placing you against it while attaching his lips to yours.
“I want you to go upstairs and by the time I get up there you better be naked.” He says while sucking on your collarbones making sure to leave marks.
“And what i-if I don’t Gerald?” You say moaning from the way his hands are gripping your ass.
“Then Daddy will punish you Kitten, got it or do I need to demonstrate?” Gerald says firmly pressing you against the door while looking into your eyes.
“Yes, Daddy.” You reply not wanting to make him even more mad, G sets you down and smacks your ass as you walk away up to his room which you can tell is the 3rd door on the right due to the black wooden door and the dark red furniture with large stereos and multiple CD’s laying around. You quickly slip your shoes off and unzip your dress letting it fall to the floor as you are now only in your bra since while you were running up the stairs you had slipped your panties off and left them on the top stair for Gerald to keep. You keep your bra on knowing it will piss him off, you put a random CD in which happened to be one of his raps and you laid on the bed as soon as you heard him come up the stairs you started to panic wondering what your punishment will be. He entered the room closing the door as soon as he turned around he glared at you and walked closer to where you were on the bed…
(To be continued ahaha I’m evil)