this will get 2 notes but i had to my little angels

AU MASTER LIST

So here is a bunch of AU’s that I’ve collected over…. a long time. Enjoy

Awkward Meetings

  • I broke your nose in a mosh pit, sorry
  • I hit you with my car and was the only one to visit you in the hospital, this is sort of awkward, are you okay?
  • You’re getting chased by the police and you just jumped in my car and yelled drive, wtf man
  • You just punched me in the face while gesturing wildly to a friend, your friend can’t stop laughing and im too shocked to respond to your apologies
  • You laughed in a restaurant, but your laugh is really weird and I thought you were choking so I’m awkwardly humping you while attempting to perform the Heimlich manoeuvre and why isn’t this working, you’re just choking harder now this is aweful
  • We met on a Sunday morning, both doing our walk of shame
  • I get really sick on roller-coasters and you are sitting in front of me, im so sorry
  • You’re the bastard who keeps parking in front of my house and you just caught me drawing a dick on your window with a permanent marker… ugh, oops.
  • I work at a department store and if you take out and unfold another fucking shirt and just leave it, I’m going to fucking shove it down your throat
  • You broke into my apartment drunk thinking it was your friends place and I should call the cops by my cat likes you so????
  • You’re my new dealer and you just friended me on Facebook and idk how to react to that
  • You saw me reading the same book you are and now we are arguing about the motives of the antagonist
  • This is a five-hour-long plane ride, we’re sitting together and  you’re deathly afraid of flying. 
  • I got into a cab to find someone already inside
  • You thought I was your friend/sister
  • Holy shit, im in the wrong car.
  • I was walking by a roller coaster and your shoe flew off and hit me in the head and now I’m on the floor trying not to fall unconscious.
  • It’s 2am and I’m drunk and I need some salt for my fries and I know your awake so OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR
  • You fell asleep on me in the subway and I should probably wake you up and its my stop next stop but it’s okay, I can always just catch the subway back…
  • I know nothing about camping and all my friends left me at the site. Please, help me, I think I just heard a bear
  • This has been a shitty week and you just grabbed the last box of my favourite comfort food from the shelf, do you really want to fight me rn?
  • We met in a movie theatre and now you’re clinging to me because your terrified and I’m okay with that because it means I get your popcorn.
  • You had a party and I got really drunk and stole your microwave, so now I’m at your place and your super hungover so here, I made breakfast?

Neighbour/Roomate

  • The guy living below me has a really loud alarm clock that always wakes me up at the crack of dawn
  • I went to investigate a scream and found my neighbour standing on a chair to avoid a rat/mouse/cricket (etc.)
  • My neighbour has a really squeaky bed and my bedroom is below theirs
  • You keep stealing my doormat and HAH, I’ve got you this time thief!
  • The apartment above me has left their tap on or something and water is leaking through my ceiling
  • My neighbour’s sibling got the wrong house number and barged into my apartment on accident.
  • My roommate keeps stealing my coffee so now I make extra 
  • You’re my new neighbour and wow man, you have some really weird habits.
  • You’re my neighbour and you are stealing my wifi to watch porn and can you not?
  • You locked yourself outside of your apartment and there’s a storm rolling in and I pity you so please come into my apartment I’ll make you hot chocolate?
  • I heard you singing at 3 am and joined in and now you’re at my door and wtf mate I think your drunk but your voice is really nice so?
  • I just set the fire alarm in our building off again… sorry. I know its like the fourth time this week…
  • You keep mowing your lawn when I’m trying to sleep and seriously FUCK YOU
  • My new neighbour is really hot and wow I didn’t even like women until now? And now she is in the garden planting flowers in her bikini wow… im in too deep
  • It’s 3 am and you’re blasting off classic rock at full volume and your music taste might be awesome but soME PEOPLE are trying to sLEEP
  • We’ve never met but we shower at the same time and our showers are on opposite sides of the same apartment wall so sometimes we start duets?

Pets

  • I’m out walking and my dog started chasing your dog. 
  • My cat/dog ran away and you just found it but refuse to accept the reward. 
  • We are neighbours and your cat got my cat pregnant… so, wanna raise this little kitty family?
  • My pet tarantula/snake (etc) escaped and I forgot to warn the guy below me who is terrified of snakes/spiders
  • I need you to pet sit my pet for a while and I forgot to mention it’s a snake, the mice are in the freezer. Thanks, bye
  • My cat really hates you cat and that’s the third time this week I’ve had to pry them apart.
  • My cat keeps breaking into your apartment and it ate all your plants… dinner to make up for it?
  • My cat sneaked out on the balcony and into your open window and he has this habit of destroying furniture and pissing everywhere so I followed him inside and you cam home earlier than I expected and found me in the middle of your living room and honestly I’m not a burglar
  • Your dog likes me a thousand times better than she likes your partner and sorry not sorry I love this dog
  • You were walking your dog when you found me passed out on a park bench and thank you for waking me up and buying coffee instead of stealing my wallet

Music

  • I’m on a bus and wow, you’re singing really loudly and everyone is giving you weird looks, hey bud, tone it down, also great choice in music
  • You play Double Bass/Cello and I play 1st chair Violin and we keep making eye contact and damn your super cute.
  • You play in an orchestra and I love these songs so much, plus you’re really cute. Shit man, you’ll never notice me in the huge crowd…
  • Music is kinda illegal and my friend just died and apparently he wrote music and wow I want to know what it sounds like and to play it at his funeral but I don’t know how to. You’re a well-known music dealer, do you happen to understand these notes? Can you help me?
  • I tried to act cool at this concert and I thought I was leaning on a wall but apparently it was a speaker and now it’s on the ground in pieces and everyone’s glaring at me… sorry?

Supernatural

  • I’m a wizard and I just accidently apparated into your house. Oops.
  • I died over 2000 years ago and you’ve been dead for like 2 hours, man, damn it now I have to explain this shit to you. Great.
  • I’m immortal and you’re mortal and I don’t know how to explain this to you and soon enough you’re going to realise that I’m not aging… shiiittt
  • You’re a greek god and I’m the roman counterpart. 
  • I’m a ghost and your alive and I think I’m in love with you…. Fuck. 
  • You’re a faun and I’m a Satry
  • I’m half demon and people often judge me based on my looks, but your blind and wow you actually like me? 
  • I’m a time traveller and I went back in time and wow I think I’m in love with you, fuck this isn’t good, I just faked being George Washington… wait what? George Washington doesn’t exist here? Shit… I actually am George Washington.
  • I’m a writer and your my character and wtf how the heck did you just literally climb out of my first draft? 
  • I’m a werewolf but I don’t want to tell you because my wolf form might be that really small chihuahua you keep mentioning you see when I go out…
  • I’m an android and you’re a human and wow what is that warmth I feel when I see you?
  • I’m a homesick telepath and you’re the poor soul who is receiving all these emotions, sorry
  • Somehow I’m in your body and you’re in mine and shit man being this close to the ground is fucked up.
  • I’m a genie an d you rubbed my lamp so congrats you get three wishes but you can’t seem to think of shit and why the fuck do I have to be stuck with you? Hurry up and think of some wishes okay?
  • I was an awful angel and as punishment I have to be your guardian angel and wow your super cute and nice but I still hate you
  • You keep having strange dreams that turn out to be us in a past life and you’re determined to fine me again but in this life I’m already dead.
  • We live in the year 3090, you’re a scientist and I’m your assistant. Unfortunately and experiment goes wrong and I die. Now you’re trying to put my brain into a robot but its not the same
  • I’m a vampire and I have a moment of weakness, you’re nearby and lets just say it doesn’t end well
  • I’m a dragon and you’re a really hot prince, that’s right, they locked up the wrong royalty.
  • You’re a pirate and I’m a siren and woah… are you asexual? That’s so cool, hey wait, don’t go I just want to talk
  • Your mirror is a doorway into my dimension and I can see everything…. 
  • Listen I am genetically modified and you WILL let me hide in your house
  • Ok, so I panicked and kissed this human so he wouldn’t drown. And I know you don’t want me to keep him, and we can’t let him leave if he knows about us mere people so what do you want to do?

School/College

  • I just got partnered with you in dance class and I can’t dance for shit
  • You’re my science lab partner and how the fuck did you just explode that beaker?
  • I’m an art student and you just found my sketchbook and you’re going through it. Shit man can you give that back, I don’t care how good you think they are just don’t turn that page…
  • You’re the school dork and I’m the school jock and fuck you can see where this is going
  • We are the only two kids who ride this school bus, maybe we should carpool?
  • I thought you were my roomies new boyfriend so I invited you in but your actually the RA of the dorm and now you think I want to have sex with you
  • I accidently flooded the laundry room and you really need to do laundry
  • You’re sitting in my seat in this lecture and who even are you? I’ve never seen you before… wait what, stop checking me out!
  • We argued so much during a class discussion that we both got kicked out and we’re still arguing outside the class
  • You left your USB in the library computer and I had to go through your files to figure out who you are and in the end I read the entirety of this book you’re working on and wow you’re really good?
  • I’m a traditional painter who has to take a basic Photoshop class, you’re a graphic design major sitting next to me and getting sucked into helping me out because Im so shitty at this
  • My pottery bowl exploded in the kiln and I feel like a failure, you found me crying about it in the hallway and are now trying to comfort me and your sweater is really soft wow sorry
  • You and your friends have been playing the penis game in the library for the last five minutes and none of you have gotten above a quiet yell and fuck it I’m trying to study over her so fuck you I’m going to put an end to this game by winning 
  • We are both teachers and at the end of the year we compare how many gifts we’ve received from student and you’ve won for the past three years
  • Romeo and Juliet of the math and English departments 
  • I want to get along with you roomie… but I like star wars… and you like star trek… this isn’t going to work.
  • I usually talk to my friends through morse code in class but… apparently you know morse too… and now you know I think your butt is cute
  • I got cursed and turned into an animal and taken to the shelter and now I’m being adopted by someone who is really hot OH FUCKING NO

Near Death Experiences

  • Wow I was just in a fatal accident and who the hell are you? What is this I’m I dying? Wait no, I don’t want this, how do I get out of it? A deal you say, I’ll take it.
  • You’re an executioner and I’m about to be executed but you can’t seem to run the guillotine, wait what, why are we running away, man you’re my favourite executioner
  • Our plane/boat crashed and now it’s just us on this island. 
  • I just took a super dangerous job and your trying to talk me out of it, but we really need the money
  • It’s the middle of a war and I’m on a ship that you’re ship just torpedoed. Now I’m a prisoner and wow why can’t I feel my legs. I’m not cooperating until I can feel them again. What the fuck do you mean I’m paralysed?
  • I’m addicted to ____ (drugs/alcohol etc) and you found me in an alleyway due to after effects of my addiction (beat up, overdose etc) and decide to take me in.
  • I sold my soul to bring you back to life and I don’t have long left please make this time count

Mistaken and Secret Identities

  • I’m  a thief/hacker/murder and you’ve found out my identity and have been bugging me for days to take you on as your partner
  • I’m a superhero and you want to be like me but in doing so become a supervillain, what do you mean you don’t understand why I’m punching you?
  • I’m a superhero, you’re a supervillain, but we don’t know each other’s identities and we are actually best friends
  • I’m runaway royalty and you’re a commoner, fuck I’m so screwed I need your help, I’ll explain later
  • You think I’m a celebrity and you’re talking too much for me to explain I am defintely not… that dude. What was his name again?
  • You’re a superhero and I’m your best friend and what the fuck man? Why the hell didn’t you tell me? If you had maybe I would be fucking caught with this stupid ass monologue-ing villain
  • I have a very cute neighbour and very thin walls and one day I call you and err… your moans are very synchronised with my neighbour's…
  • I’m a superhero and you’re a supervillain and I saw you visiting kids at the children’s hospital and letting them act like they defeated you and now it’s really hard to punch you in the face

Profession Based

  • Your my mailman and I can’t help but notice that you linger at my door slightly longer than you need to ever since you saw me that one time. Do you want to come inside?
  • I’m a private detective and your my client and fuck man you’re in some deep shit
  • You’re a protester and I’m a police officer. Seriously can you please calm down a little bit, this is my job not my  beliefs.
  • I’m a make-up artist/hair stylist and I you’re an actor/model and are you flirting or???
  • You’re a celebrity and sorry mate, I have to take pictures to pay rent, I know its invasive seriously, sorry
  • You’re a store clerk and fuck, is that my ex? Can I please hide behind this counter?
  • You’re a lifeguard at my kid’s swimming competition and I fell in the pool with all my clothes on and you awkwardly tried to save me even though I didn’t need it.
  • You work at a pet store and I came in to look at tarantulas but somehow we lost the biggest one and its loose somewhere in the store and it really doesn’t help that you’re terrified of spiders
  • I’m a firefighter and you started a fire in your kitchen but you’re still flirting with me even though you’re not wearing pants and I’m carrying you down a ladder. Stop complimenting my muscles for fucks sake
  • We work at the same company and I kind of had a crush on you until I noticed that you’re the asshole stealing my lunch from the office fridge.
  • I’m a firefighter and you live near the station I work at and we talk/flirt with each other a lot. One day me and my team get called to put out a fire and it’s your home ablaze. You don’t make it.
  • I work at a fruit store and you come in almost every day and rearrange stuff on the shelves and then leave. Today you made the apples spell ‘call me’
  • It’s 2am and I was just trying to get home but I left my sunroof open all day and now there’s a squirrel in my car and it scared me and I drove into a pole - stop laughing! You’re a cop, aren’t you supposed to be helping?
  • You’re drunk and want my name tattooed on your ass.
  • You always bring your dates to the restaurant I wait at and now you’re here alone… you okay mate?

Winter Times

  • It’s snowing and I usually walk to work but that’s not happening, hey roomie, can you please drive me? Yes I know its 4am
  • I accidently gave all my winter clothes to charity over the summer and not its not so much summer, but I’m broke and hey… could you give me your old winter clothes… maybe?
  • I love the cold, but I promised to visit you for a good 4 months and wow, why did I do this? There isn’t snow here?
  • I don’t know you, but you just threw a snowball at my face, mate, its on.
  • I don’t know who the hell you are, but my roommate has someone over and It’s really cold outside…. Can I come in? Or like, have a blanket, or even a towel?

Old Friends

  • I knew you in high school and I ran into you at a renaissance fair wearing full knight regalia
  • I met you once when I was 12, we started a pen-pal relationship across the world and haven’t stopped even though we are a lot older now. 
  • You were my best friend when we were younger but your family moved to the other side of the world, and we haven’t talked in years. But now your back and wow how did you recognise me when I can’t even remember your name?

Fake Dating

  • I hired you to be my date for a wedding but your super cute, maybe we cannot fake-date? 
  • I’m fake dating you to have someone to vent to on family gatherings while also pissing off my conservative uncle that I never liked and wow… have your eyes always been this nice?
  • We’re both cosplayers and we somehow always manage to meet each other at cons dressed as a popular ship and people always want photos of us in compromising positions and so we always end up fake-dating the entire day but you’re actually really hot and I’m head over heels for you
  • My friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex, quick make out with me, I’ll pay you.

Miscellaneous

  • I’m blind and wow your voice is absolutely beautiful can you just keep talking? Forever? Please?
  • My younger sibling is besties with your sibling and even though we hate each other I guess we’ve got to start hanging out a little
  • We are both at a grocery store at am and you offered to arm wrestle me for the last box of cereal, its on!
  • You’re sleeping on my best friend’s couch while your house is being renovated and you have really weird habits like attempting to sing opera in the shower and you keep eating all my Nutigrain 
  • We bump into each other every Friday at the supermarket to buy the same ice-cream and maybe we should eat it together?
  • Our parents are dating and thank god I’m not the only one pissed off about this
  • I went to museum to get some inspiration and then I saw you staring at one of the paintings in awe and wow you just noticed me drawing you and this is awkward
  • I decide to take a shortcut home that involves crawling through a really tight hole in a fence and I end up getting stuck and you just happened to pass by and now you’re laughing at me
  • I took a bunch of free condoms from health services just because I could and they all fell out of my bag at once and now you’re staring at me weirdly
  • We are trapped in a bank during a robbery
  • Your country is trying to take over mine and I might be a little attracted to you and stop this it’s really hard to retaliate okay?
  • I was on my balcony and you started loudly quoting romeo and juliet at me

anonymous asked:

i HAD NO IDEA GORILLAZ HAD PHASES AND STORYLINES could you try and explain them quickly for us new bbies getting into this fandom??

absolutely!!

so the WHOLE ENTIRE STORY of gorillaz is actually extremely ridiculously long and very very complicated and confusing so i am going to try my very hardest to sum everything up as best as i possibly can without missing too much

(also the “phases” don’t really mean much besides marking the different album releases, which is why you may have noticed the band members look different every few years)

phase 1 (celebrity takedown) started around 1999. before phase 1, there was only this guy:

murdoc niccals. on august 15th, 1997 (d-day), he wanted to steal music equipment so he crashed a car into a music store where this guy:

stuart tusspot (then in his young twenties) was working, and he hit stuart in the eye and sent him into a coma. murdoc was arrested, but rather than serving time he had to do a lot of community service and also take care of stuart while he was in his coma. murdoc being murdoc, he crashed his car a second time and sent stuart flying from the backseat, through the windshield and he hit his good eye on the concrete, which woke him from his vegetative state, thus “creating” the stuart you know today:

he was nicknamed 2D because he now has two “dents” in his head (which are actually 8-ball fractures if you wanted to know how this look could be possible). murdoc saw that 2D was really attractive and he could sing, so he made 2D the singer of his band

now, this is russel hobbs:

he was involved in a drive-by shooting when his best friend Del (Deltron 3030 irl):

was shot and killed. del possessed russel, thus turning his eyes completely white and haunting him from time to time when he plays the drums. he also raps in some of the gorillaz songs.

murdoc and 2D needed a drummer so they kidnapped russel and russel for some reason forgave them and agreed to be their drummer.

the guitarist for a short while was 2D’s girlfriend, Paula:

and together the four of them formed the band “GORILLA”:

and the only song they recorded together was “ghost train”. paula was kicked out of the band because russel caught her having sex with murdoc in the bathroom. they needed a new guitarist, so they sent out an ad in the paper. not too long later, this little angel arrived at their front door:

she saw the ad and fed-exed herself from osaka to kong studios:

in essex, england. she was only ten and she only knew one word: noodle. therefore, they named her noodle and they made her the guitarist because she was really really good.

thus, gorillaz was born:

then they made the first album around 2000, titled “gorillaz”. they released a bunch of music, music videos, interviews, merch, a completely interactive website where you could walk around their house, and they even released little shorts that were shown on MTV for a while. you can watch all of their videos and interviews on youtube. they won some awards too, and even performed live using holagrams.

{clint eastwood
19/2000

rock the house

tomorrow comes today
 (epilepsy warning)
live performance
 (epilepsy warning)
all “bites”
 (shorts shown on MTV)}

around 2002, they got a little tired of one another. lots of different personalities living under one roof. they faught a lot, especially murdoc and 2D (2D is not “all there” and he takes a lot of medication, murdoc is an asshole and abuses 2D CONSTANTLY). so they all left kong studios for a while, but not before releasing some b-sides (g-sides).

at the end of two years, murdoc ended up in a mexican prison, russel excorcised del’s soul from his body (but kept the white eyes), which sent him into a horrible depression, 2D got a job at his father’s amusement park, and noodle went back to osaka, japan to discover more about her past.

while in japan, noodle found out from some old dude that she was actually a part of some kind of organization that turns young children into war-machines (yeah, i know, fucking crazy, right?????). her memory had been erased by the old dude so that she could live a normal life, and when her memory was restored, she remembered everything, including how to speak fluent english. having found herself, she was the first one to go back to kong studios. she wrote most of the second album by herself before the others came back to kong and helped her out.

(btw, that is noodle’s pet monkey, mike. murdoc had a pet crow named cortez, and 2D had a pet dog named Prince, but no one knows what happened to them. keep reading)

this was around 2004 and would start phase 2 (slowboat to hades):

note the drastic style change. this phase was famous for its darker look, and the music became a lot darker in their second album, “demon days”.

idents
dirty harry

rockit

dare

feel good inc.

el manana

they released some more teasers (which were “filmed” during their two-year break), more music, more music vidoes, more live performances, and more merch. even some gorillaz games. very cute, very fun (especially if you have a dark sense of humor? there is one game in particular that has the murdoc/2D fans feeling some type of way lol). if you watch the videos and interviews, you can really tell how their personalities shift from phase to phase. also, this is the phase where the windmill island makes its first appearence:

and this is where things get very weird and very very complicated (especially for a cartoon band). in the feel good inc. music video (watch it), noodle is on this island and she is being chased by helicopters from afar.

in the el manana video (watch it now or you might be confused), however, noodle was supposed to get “shot” by the same helicopters before parachuting safely off of the island where she would then flee to the maldive islands to get away for a while (she just wanted a vacation but i guess she didn’t want people to find her). however, in the gorillaz autobiography, murdoc says that something completely different happened.

murdoc was trying to get some guy killed (i forget his name) because murdoc is a horrible guy who holds a lot of grudges. murdoc tricked this guy into hiding inside the windmill to wait for noodle to “die” so he could take her place. noodle did not know about ANY of this. she wasn’t going to get hurt either way because she was given a parachute. so when DIFFERENT helicopters (DIFFERENT PEOPLE THAT WERE NOT HIRED BY MURDOC OR GORILLAZ!) started shooting at her, TRYING to kill her, she freaked out and the windmill ended up crashing into a canal. there is a picture in the autobiography of her parachuting off the island, but no one knows where she went after she hit the ground. everyone searched for her, but no one could find her. at this point, murdoc was confused as well, but everyone assumed she still went to the maldives to mellow out—or that she DIED.

this left 2D, murdoc and russel in deep depression. russel left kong studios first, as it was falling apart due to it being built atop a landfill and infested with zombies. 2D left afterwards to live in beirut, and only murdoc was left in the rubble that was kong.

this was around 2007. the second b-sides album (d-sides) was released and if you went on the interactive website, it was completely abandoned. murdoc tried to sell it but it was gross, run down, shit everywhere, noodle’s room was left bare. BUT. sometime in 2007, noodle sent a message to murdoc via radio telling him to come and save her. she never stated explicitly where she was, but she was in deep, deep trouble. murdoc assumed she was in hell, and, being a satanist in a made-up universe, he somehow made it to hell and searched high and low for noodle, but never found her (THOUGH HE RECENTLY STATED THAT THE ENTIRE HELL TRIP MAY HAVE BEEN A DRUNKEN FEVER-DREAM, SO WE ARE ALL EXTREMELY FED UP AND CONFUSED ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO NOODLE AFTER THE EL MANANA THING. WE STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, THOUGH THE MURDOC/NOODLE FANS ATE THAT SHIT UP).

after this, murdoc got word that the organization who tried to murder noodle (the black clouds) were now after him. he had no choice but to leave kong studios forever. so he set kong on fire and left. then the autobiography was released (it is implied they started writing the book well before even the middle of phase 2).

and then gorillaz were on hiatus for about four years. not a single word. if you went on the website, nothing changed. shit was cryptic. but the fandom was loyal and WAITING.

THEN. OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE, sometime in 2009, murdoc showed up in an interview talking about new gorillaz music. and very slowly, more information was released on the “unofficial gorillaz website”. the fandom was BATSHIT. half of us were butthurt about how ugly murdoc looked, and the other half was excited about NEW GORILLAZ MUSIC, and more importantly, THIS PICTURE:

people were mostly concerned with noodle and the fact that her eye was all fucked up, presumably from either the fall from the island OR from when she was “in hell”. also, peope assumed the whole band was together again, but this was FAR FAR FAR from the case.

murdoc wanted to make new gorillaz music that would “top” their second album (which could never happen, but a pickle can dream). murdoc couldn’t get a hold of russel, and noodle was presumably MIA, so murdoc kidnapped 2D in beirut and shipped the poor guy to plastic beach:

plastic beach is essentially murdoc’s hiding place where he is “safe” from the black clouds, and it is literally an island made out of garbage and spray painted pink. 2D did not want to be there, but murdoc held him captive:

in a bedroom at the southernmost tip of the island, underwater, guarded by a whale (2D has a crippling fear of whales, murdoc is a GIANT ASSHOLE). he made 2D sing, and 2D agreed because he has been agreeing to murdoc for a long time and he knew better than to disobey him.

since gorillaz was lacking a drummer and a guitarist, murdoc had to improvise. to replace russel, murdoc used a drum machine to mimic the way russel plays the drums. to replace noodle, murdoc gathered some of noodle’s DNA from the el manana crash site and built CYBORG NOODLE:

she was just as good on guitar as noodle was and she was also the “war machine” that noodle was “supposed” to be, i.e., murdoc stuffed her with weapons. she even had a gun that fired from her mouth.

thus, this was the “phase three: plastic beach” crew:

they recorded the new album, titled PLASTIC BEACH, and murdoc “kidnapped” all of the artists that gorillaz collaborated with and they just had a grand ol’ time. the album was released in early 2010, followed by a revamped website featuring a full tour of plastic beach, more merch, and LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of interviews. some of them are probably no longer findable, but it doesn’t matter because pretty much every single interview was just murdoc hooting and hollering and drinking because IT WAS ESTABLISHED THAT AT THIS POINT HE HAS LITERALLY GONE INSANE.

the music video for stylo was released and did not contribute much to the “main plot”, which disappointed some people because we all wanted to know where noodle and russel were. after a long time, murdoc made a twitter to communicate with the fans who were more interested in the now extremely involved plot line of gorillaz as well as the music.

sometime in 2010, new “idents” were released. 2D’s showed him getting kidnapped and shipped to PB, murdoc’s showed him getting SHOT AT on a boat, probably on his way to plastic beach. then RUSSEL’S ident was released, and it showed him jumping off of a dock into the ocean in an EXTREMELY ANGRY MANNER. lots of people speculated he was mad because he found out what murdoc was doing or he was going to confront murdoc about noodle’s whereabouts or both. cyborg noodle’s ident was released after that, it was nothing special, it was just really creepy (btw you can watch all the idents on youtube!

AND THEN. AND. THEN. noodle’s ident was released and IT WAS THE GREATEST DAY. AFTER FOUR YEARS we finally got to see what happened to noodle, dear, dear noodle:

her ident showed her on a boat (she is around 18-19 at this time), being asked to evacuate because the boat was being attacked by pirates (presumably the black clouds, coming after noodle). being the supreme badass she is, she grabbed a gun and stormed out of the room, and that was all we got. the fandom was in uproar. why the cat mask? was it to cover her eye? why was she on a boat?

shortly before the “on melancholy hill video”, murdoc stated he could see a brown rock moving towards plastic beach (official art told the fans it was russel’s head, as russel had eaten toxic waste and had grown into a giant):

and it was implied from this that russel was going to meet up with noodle sometime in the near future. 

hope you’re still following me. im trying my best lol

in the “on melacholy hill” video, murdoc was now aware that noodle was very much alive and also in some kind of trouble, so he and all of the album’s collaborators went on a giant search for noodle, but never found her. they ended up finding some manatee on top of a rock (random af), while noodle defended her boat from the black clouds, and ended up escaping on a life raft with her guitar. and then this happened:

in both the stylo and OMH videos, a mysterious figure called THE BOOGIEMAN appeared:

he is implied by murdoc to be a symbol of death, as he “murders” both a police officer and the manatee on the rock. not much more is known about him.

after this, not much more happened. there was more official art, more games on the gorillaz website, more merch, a gorillaz live band tour (not featuring the actual memebers of gorillaz, much to murdoc’s frustration), one new single called doncamatic, and a music video released during the tour featuring russel and noodle:

about a year later without any more activity, gorillaz released a fourth album titled “the fall”, composed entirely on an ipad by 2D (note how “gorillaz” = russel, “demon days” = noodle, “plastic beach” = murdoc and “the fall” = 2D). it was not entirely popular, but there were some really good tracks.

the gorillaz hype slowed to an almost-halt as far as plot was concerned. noodle and russel never made it to plastic beach, murdoc was still on the island with 2D, 2D was still a wreck, etc etc etc. the fandom was content, but the plotline was pretty stagnant for another year or so. there were a lot lot LOT of unanswered questions, but the fandom was used to it, as gorillaz was never really “designed” to have such a convoluted plotline to begin with, as you can probably imagine. who would have thought “gorillaz” would evolve into such a CRAZY, INVOLVED STORY?? we were at least content knowing noodle was safe with russel, and they were both happy (russel loves noodle like a daughter btw its adorable af). as far as 2D and murdoc went, a lot of people kind of knew that their relationship, as dysfunctional as it was, was still salvagable as 2D is pretty much infatuated with murdoc, as fucked up as that seems.

in 2011, rhinestone eyes was supposed to get a music video. alas, this never happened because the music video was no longer being funded for (it costs a looooot of money to make gorillaz music videos, and gorillaz lost a good deal of popularity after phase 2, mostly because of the plotline. no one besides the die hard fans knew what the fuck was going on in the music videos).

BUT we were blessed with the rhinestone eyes storyboard, which was pretty much everything we could have asked for. the black clouds were surrounding PB, murdoc was flipping out, the boogieman was cornering him. 2D was about to be eaten by the whale buT THEN OUT OF NO WHERE, FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY RUSSEL GRABBED THE WHALE WITH HIS HUGE YAOI HAND AND SENT IT FLYING ACROSS THE OCEAN, SAVING POOR 2D. MORE DRAMA ENSUES, AND AT THE END OF IT ALL, RUSSEL OPENS HIS GIANT MOUTH TO REVEAL NOODLE HIDING INSIDE. GOD BLESS.

now, even though the music video was never made, it is implied that everything that happened in the storyboard happened irl. but we still had so many questions left unanswered regardless.

in 2012, gorillaz released a music video to go along with their new single DOYATHING feat. ANDRE 3000. the hype for this video was as real as it could get, and the gorillaz fandom was practically pissing their pants after they saw the storyboard.

the doyathing video (which was actually a collaboration with converse shoes) depicts the four members of gorillaz living together in a janky apartment. what a shock, but what happened to plastic beach? 2D seemed a bit more “himself”, and to everyone’s relief and jubilance, he opened the door to noodle’s bedroom to reveal noodle sleeping soundly, and he smiles, and the fandom was finally at ease. to top it off, russel is shown laying on top of the roof of the apartment, sleeping, noticably smaller in size, but still a giant nonetheless. and attached to the apartment, to EVERY SINGLE GORILLAZ FAN’S COMPLETE SHOCK, is the fucking windmill island, albiet in shambles. how they got it up in the sky again is a mystery to us all.

and, according to murdoc a short while after the release of the video (or before, i cannot recall), after russel and noodle arrived on the island, the cyborg attempted to kill murdoc (which was a surprise to no one….). noodle and the cyborg duked it out and the real noodle ended up coming out on top. and they all left plastic beach after the black clouds fled the scene, probably because it was shot to bits.

and that’s it as of right now. that is the gorillaz story, in summary. there are still a plethora of unanswered questions, however, as we have yet to hear ANYTHING from russel and noodle. we still do not know what exactly happened to noodle after el manana. we do not know why russel jumped into the ocean, we don’t know how russel and noodle found the beach, we don’t know what happened to noodle’s eye. we don’t know a lot of things. hopefully some of our questions will be answered in PHASE FOUR! which has officially started as of yesterday.

i hope i have given you a sufficient insight on the wild, wild world of GORILLAZ. they are more than just a band, they are characters with complex backstories and their adventures are pretty fucking crazy if you have the patience to keep up with them

thanks for reading!

xoxoxo

High School In Review (so far)+ Some Tips!!!

Hello everyone! I’m Niva and I am a student of the High School class of 2019.

Now I’ve been in high school for 2 years now, so I think that can give some pretty solid advice to ya little upcoming freshman and any person who is still struggling in high school. So buckle up ya seat belts and put on some shades, cause we’re about to take a LONG ride

I know there are tons of freshman advice videos and posts out here on tumblr dot com, so I’m gonna try and make mine unique

*Note: My HS experience is unique; your may not need any of these tips, so who knows. Also, this post contains profanity. I don’t know if y’all care, it just seems that the studyblr community are all these sweet angels who attend church every Sunday and read the Bible in their spare time.

~=+=~FRESHMAN AND SOPHOMORE YEAR~=+=~

my freshman overview: Look, this year was hardest compared to my sophomore year. One class literally ruined my life, my dudes. {humble brag} Throughout my entire life from PreK to 8th Grade, I had gotten straight A’s on all my report cards. My freshman year, I decided to take AP World History and BOY did it crush me. I made a C in the class first semester and a B in the second semester. Now, it was not the teacher at fault. In fact, I LOVED the teacher. I just was not interested in that class at all and the work matched with me being in Marching Band nearly sent me to my death bed. I’m not trying to scare you, I’m just being 100% legit. This is also a PSA to all freshman offered to take APWH: This is one of the harder AP courses, and I wish one of my teachers had told me this before I decided to take the class (they probably did and I ignored them). This also was my first year in marching band and I’m telling you right now, if you’re wondering whether or not you should do marching band, do it. Even if you just do it for one year, it’s fuckin worth it mate. 

my sophomore overview: This year was SIGNIFICANTLY easier. During my freshman year, the way the schedule was set up was an A/B schedule; your schedule would alternate. On A days, you’d have these 4 classes and on B day, another 4. My sophomore year, they changed that and it was a bit easier for me. Not that I didn’t like the A/B schedule (I loved it), it was just a lot easier to manage classes. I only had one AP class this year, because I couldn’t take AP Lang because of schedule conflicts. ANTYWAYS, AP Gov is one of the easiest classes I took. My teacher was extremely chill and put a curve on every test and quiz, so that’s mainly why I didn’t fail. Marching band was much easier to handle since I already had experience. This was also the year I quit TSA (technology student association) and VEX Robotics, due to scheduling conflicts with band. And, to be quite honest, neither of the clubs were fun lmao. Literature class was annoying, because I got stuck in a class that DIDNT WANNA DO ANYTHING. They didn’t wanna read along, read at all, do projects, breathe, etc. (if you need tips on how to handle a trash class, just ask and I might make a post on that lol). Chemistry was purgatory, not hell, just purgatory. It was hard but not too hard that I didn’t pass. Math has never been hard for me so nothing really changed with that class. This year I brought back my streak of All A’s, so this school year was the best of the two in my eyes.

~=+=~The TIPS~=+=~

1. Normally, freshman don’t take AP classes, but if you are, be prepared. Depending on the class subject, you’re gonna have to do a hell of a lot more than just read the chapters once and do one page of notes. Try to always be ahead of the class and start some sort of study group. 

2. You’re best friend does not need to be your project partner all of the time. Seriously. If you have friends like mine, you will sit on your phone looking at memes on twitter for a long ass time before you ever start your project. Try doing a solo project every once in a while.

3. Don’t randomly join clubs. I was offered to join BETA Club and I didn’t wanna do it, so I didn’t. Don’t do clubs cause it looks nice cause 90% of the time, that one club won’t affect anything.

4. Save money. If you’re in marching band, dear god, save your money. School might as well be charging you to breathe. Everything cost SO MUCH MONEY. If you need to, set up a secret money jar so your parents don’t hijack your money.

5. Make new friends. Unlike most people apparently, I didn’t lose any friends. I do talk to certain people less because of class schedules, but we’re still friends. There is a small ass chance you’re gonna get caught in a class full of upperclassmen and no friends, and I had that situation. It’s not fun. Eventually, you’ll make a friend in that class, so don’t panic. But, anyways, new school, why not make new friends?

6. Don’t? Switch? Lunch? Tables? Okay, I don’t mean that someone’s gonna like sucker punch you out of your seat like in the movies. I mean like if we’re 5 months into the school year, don’t just randomly change your table, because …just don’t do it.

7. Don’t be that person who purposely gets on the teacher’s nerves to make class harder.

8. If you hate one of your teachers, suck it up buttercup. You have a choice of passing or failing, don’t let a teacher ruin an A in class for you.

9. Try and be on the other side of drama. It’s much more fun to watch drama go down, that to actually be involved in it.

10. Be early (if you can). I ride the bus, so I have no choice. But, there is legit no reasons for you to be walking into the class 10 minutes late, because you thought you could sleep an extra 5 mins.

11. I know your literature class is getting boring. This is probably your 7th consecutive year of learning the difference between a simile and a metaphor. I don’t know why they continue to reteach that stuff, but they do. All I can say is utilize what their teaching in some way, so that you don’t feel like the class is completely useless.

12. We all have that one class that you just do nothing in. Take advantage of that and get work done. I don’t have a “study hall” class so, any time you have to do work, use it.

13. Go to at least some of the school events. You can get relatively free food. 

14. Look, I could not care less if you skip school. But, don’t do it often and if you can, don’t do it ever. 

15. If you’re gonna eat in class, don’t eat something obvious like Lays Chips or a whole orange

16. Make friends with your teacher. Don’t be like creepy, but like, don’t have a bad relationship with your teacher.

17. Sophomore year, start thinking about college. You may think it’s too early, but it’s not. At least have an idea of what you want to major in.

18. If you can, get your permit as soon as you turn 15. Please don’t be like me. I still cannot drive and getting from Point A to Point B is harder than the VESPR Theory.

19. Disrespectful classmates are just an opportunity for you to get special privileges in class. If you’re class is disruptive and you’re just a sweet little angel, the teacher will most likely be more lenient with you. My teacher literally gave me a 100 on a project I turned in a day late (supposed to be 5 points off) because literally me and this other girl were the only ones who turned the project in.

20. Do your homework the day you get it. I don’t give a damn if it’s due in two days or two months, do it right then and right there.

21. In your language class, please try. Nobody likes the kid who doesn’t participate. If the teacher asks,  ¿Como estas?, you better fuckin say ¿Bien, y tu? back.

22. If you’re in a situation like mine, you’re gonna have a class you didn’t sign up for, yet somehow you got it. Just deal with it. If you can’t change your schedule, that’s all you can do. Just do the assignments and hope you pass.

23. Okay, most schools don’t have a “popular” group. But all schools definitely have the Prep group. You know, those kids. If you’re not one of them, just ignore them. If you are one of them, stop being so goddang stuck up and realise that you have an annoying voice. If you are not sure if you are a prep, you most likely are not.

24. My school doesn’t use lockers purely based on the fact that it would take too long for kids to get to them and back to class since my school is so big. So, if you also do not have lockers, make sure your bookbag can handle one full school year. I cannot stress this enough. You don’t wanna walk around school with a 15lb bookbag and only one functional strap.

25. Eat the school food. It’s honestly not as bad as the internet makes it. Like…eat ya pizza and enjoy it.

26. If your single and you want a relationship, please do not get a crush on random people like me. Someone would let me borrow a pencil and I would fantasize about a wedding for the next 2 days. I know it’s hard being lonely, but being in a relationship won’t get you a college scholarship.

27. Don’t drink a lot during school. There’s gonna be a teacher with a restriction on the bathroom because for some reason, they think bladders have a specific schedule to follow.

28. Don’t be that freshman that dates every senior in sight. If you have a relationship with a senior and it lasts, great. I’ve seen it happen, but 90% of the time it does not. 

29. Likewise, if you have a friend that’s running you up the wall with their problems, specifically relationship problems. Find a way to distance yourself from them, or even better, get them help from someone else.

30. If you have Type 4 hair (or type 3, it depends), you gotta do your hair at least 3 days in advance, especially if your hair is short. I don’t know a single person with kinky hair who can wake up and just simply throw their hair up.

31. Look, man. Just look here. Look at me in my eyes and listen. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IF YOU ARE GONNA HAVE SEX USE A CONDOM! USE A CONDOM OR DONT HAVE SEX AT ALL. I’m not speaking from personal experience, but I many of girls have gotten pregnant at my school

32. If you’re gonna do drugs, don’t. Don’t be stupid. Especially if you’re in a school club or sport. You are subject to random drug tests at all times. 

33. Try not to let people affect the way you dress. Wear what you want.

34. Something about you is gonna change. Your personality, your look, your aesthetic. Whatever changes, don’t be stuck up. Nobody likes stuck up people; not even stuck up people like stuck up people.

35. You know those posts that are like “Grades don’t determine intelligence?” Yeah, well they don’t determine your intelligence, but they can determine where you get into college (if you wanna go) and how you’re seen and perceived by teachers. At least, try to pass.

36. If you can, take the ACT or SAT or whatever standardized test you have for your schools. I had an opportunity to take the SAT in 4th, 7th, and 8th grade for $35…and I didn’t take it once. I heavily regret it. Mainly I didn’t take it, because, at the time, it was hard for my mother to pay for it when we had much bigger problems, but like, if you have the opportunity and the funds to take those tests, take them.

37. Don’t rely on quality points. In my school (they’ve gotten rid of this now though), if you’re in an AP class you got 10 extra points and if you were in an Honors/PreAP class, you got 5 points. Colleges look at your grades without the points. The only purpose for these quality points is so that kids in CP classes don’t get valedictorian or some shit idk

38. If you’re in America, you’re gonna have somebody walking around school in a Trump shirt. By all means, beat their ass, but know the consequences. Also, if you’re gonna talk about politics with somebody, please know at least the bare minimum. At least know what the Hillary email scandal is before you try and defend her. Same goes for my friends across the pond. You see someone supporting Theresa May, beat their ass, know the consequences, and learn politics.

39. Actually? Check? Your? Grades? I know so many people who just don’t know what they’re grades are. Know you’re grades so you always know where you stand.

40. I wanna say class rank does not matter, but if you’re anything like me, you’re gonna obsess over it for a while. I know you wanna be in the Top 5, but if you’re no where near it, you’re gonna have to work EXTREMELY HARDER THAN NORMAL. Try not to make a huge deal out of it, unless you’re aiming for Valedictorian.

41. Moisturize ya self. Don’t nobody like ashy knees and elbows. Invest in some lotion.

42. Listen. We all hate dress code. But just follow it. You can’t do anything about it. Just wait til the weekend to wear your spaghetti strap shirt and ripped jeans. And if you wear leggings and you have a wide hip and butt area, you are definitely going to be called out. If you’re not sure if you’re breaking dress code with what your wearing, bring an extra shirt and jeans just in case.

43. Go the fuck to sleep. Don’t be up at ass o’clock in the morning doing who-knows-what on the internet. I know from experience. You may think you can survive 8 hours of school with 2 hours of sleep, but as the day goes on, you’re not gonna want do anything at all, but sleep. But hey, if 2 hours of sleep works for, go ahead. It’s not healthy but I can’t regulate your life.

44. If you walk in the wrong class, everyone will forget about it after the a good 2 days. Literally nobody cared that much. Just walk out and forget about it.

45. If you have a phone, get your friends numbers/contacts/emails. You’re gonna need them for homework sooner or later.

46. To all those uber religious people out there, drop the clean act. If you hear somebody say “fuck”, get over it. I don’t know how else to say it. Teachers cannot stop somebody from cursing completely. People are gonna have sex, people are gonna cuss, people are gonna be inappropriate, and all you can do is focus on yourself.

47. Wear deodorant. You will be surprised at the amount of people who don’t. 

48. Studyblr is fun. Studyblr is nice. That being said, studyblr is not the end of the world. If you don’t have a bullet journal, just use the calendar in your phone or have an online bujo. Don’t let studyblr take up 90% of your study time, because scrolling through the studyblr tag is not studying.

49. Don’t be that kid that walks around with fucking surround sound speakers on their back. Wtf, like invest in some headphones my guy.

50. Never buy a 1 inch binder. Always 2 inch and above, unless you know for sure you only need a 1 inch.

51. You are gonna have a set of people you absolutely hate that for some reason, you cannot get away from them. The best you can do is ignore them.

52. If you’re required to take a Fitness class and you are a festively plump child or an unhealthy/unfit person such as myself, you are going to be embarrassed at some point. Look. I cannot give you advice that’s gonna raise your self-esteem, but I can tell you that if you don’t pay attention to anyone else, it’s much easier to get through that class. The fitness gram pacer test doesn’t last forever. Likewise, don’t treat fitness class like the fucking Olympics. The coach asked for 10 pushups not 100.

53. Extra Credit is your friend. Even if you have a 100 in a class, extra credit doesn’t hurt.

54. Do not walk slow in the hallway, please. I like getting to class on time. If you plan on having a conversation in the hallway, only do it if you walk and talk at a reasonable speed.

55. If you ride the bus, get up at least 45 minutes before the bus gets there. I don’t have a big morning routine, so half of the time in the morning, I just scroll through twitter. Wake up early enough to get everything done.

56. C’s get degrees, my friend, but C’s don’t get scholarships.

57. If you wear AXE Body Spray or any perfume/cologne, I want you to know that your smell occupies the entirety of the hallway you’re on. Please, use only a small amount of fragrance, because not only do they most likely stink, some kids have asthma and some kids are allergic to fragrances. Just refrain from wearing strange smelling spays.

58. If you’re a theatre kid or sport kid, don’t be completely set on becoming a professional singer/actor/athlete. Have a Plan B. The last thing counselors wanna hear when they ask you what you want to be when you grow up, is a NBA Player.

59. To all my shy people out there, that speech you have to give doesn’t last forever. In fact, it may only last 3 minutes. In my literature class, we were required to recite lines from Romeo and Juliet, for some odd reason, and I made such a big deal out of something that barely affected my grades.

60. For this last and FINAL tip of this post, don’t give up. I didn’t wanna be generic, but here the fuck! I! am!!! When I took AP World History, part of the reason I ‘failed’ was because I just stopped trying. I would make low C’s on the test and just think, “Well I didn’t pass, might as well just give up.” Well, no shit you didn’t read the chapter. If you’re trying all you’ve got and you’re just not making it, talk to the teacher. That’s one thing I regret from my freshman year. I just gave up. I didn’t try and get help because I felt that getting help meant that I was stupid. It doesn’t. It just means you’re smarter for trying to get a good grade.

WELL THAT’S ALL FOLKS! Sorry if my cursing doesn’t fit your aesthetic, too bad. I can probably think of 40 more tips to make this 100, but I didn’t want this post to be extremely long (lol good job on that). Anyways, if you ever want any help, feel free to message me, but I’m not that good at text conversations or conversations in general so I’m your last resort.

TO THE UPCOMING FRESHMAN: Have a great first year of high school! You’re about to enter a new life where the teachers are more serious and, yes, coloring still somehow counts as a grade.

TO THE UPCOMING SOPHOMORES: I know. You’ve only been here one year and your tired. Have hope. You’re one year closer to that diploma.

the exchange • monty de la cruz

a/n: hi guys, thank u soooo much for all of your requests and positive feedback. i’m currently working on writing all of them to the best of my ability so stay tuned!

warnings: swearing, smut, the usual

 you and your best friend, clay jensen, had gotten called down to the front office. you were pretty sure that neither of you were in trouble, but you couldn’t help but to be nervous. why did they need you? both of you?

 you walk into to the office to be greeted by the counselor, the baseball coach, jeff atkins, and montgomery de la cruz. “oh fuck.” clay mumbles. you giggle and bump him with your elbow. “be nice!” you whisper to him before giggling again. jeff is staring into space, while monty takes the time to look you up and down before smirking. you turn your attention away from him and tug at the hem of your skirt that suddenly feels shorter than you need it to be.

 "y/n, clay, have a seat. i assume you know why i’ve called you down here?“ mr. porter says. “uhhh no. we don’t actually. please enlighten us, because we’re not psychic.” clay says as we sit down. you nudge him with your knee and give him a look that screams, “shut up!” he sighs and slumps down in his chair. 

 "well,“ the coach booms, “these two knuckleheads are my star players.” he says motioning towards jeff and monty. “the team is nothing without them, but they can’t seem to get their heads out of their asses and into their books.” you gasp at his use of language and then clear your throat. monty adverts his gaze to focus on you and jeff is still staring at the same spot on the floor. 

 "yes, what coach cole said.“ mr. porter speaks up. "since you two happen to be the smartest in your class, i’ve decided to assign you to be their tutors.” “this is bullshit.” monty says standing up. “mr. de la cruz, sit down and watch your language please.” mr. porter says. “um, but coach cole just said a-” you start and porter gives you a stern look. “never mind.” you squeak at look away from him. monty looks at you with a smile on his face.

“it’s not bs montgomery, you know the rules. no pass, no play. got it?” porter questions. you try to focus on his words, but monty’s eyes burn holes in the side of your face. “yeah, got it.” monty answers without taking his eyes off of you. you don’t want to look at him, knowing that your cheeks are already burning hot under his gaze. “okay well then, that settles it. y/n, you’ll tutor jeff. and clay, you’ll tutor montgomery. no if’s, and’s or but’s about it. thank you all, and have a nice day.” porter smiles.

 you beeline out of the room and into the restroom. you let out a breath that you didn’t know that you were holding, and look at yourself in the mirror. your face was flushed and your eyes were wild. you took a few deep breaths, not knowing why monty had this affect on you, and then silently thanked god that you weren’t his tutor. you inhale sharply, take one last look at yourself, smile, and exit the restroom. clay was waiting on you with a pout. 

“monty? out of everyone in the entire school, i get montgomery de la cruz.” he complains. “i mean it can’t be that bad,” you start. “plus, he’s kinda cute.” you say and smile to yourself. “never say that again. that’s like saying a scorpion is cute, and then it kills you.” clay scolds you. your laugh rings through the hallways. “c'mon clay, you can do this. it’ll be a great experience for the real world.” you tell him, suppressing another laugh. “you’re only saying all of this because you, little ms. lucky, get to tutor jeff atkins. he’s honestly one of the nicest kids in school.” clay says. you sigh as you approach your classroom. “this is my stop jensen. goodbye and good luck. i’ll see you after school.” you say to him as you hug him. “love ya.” clay hugs back and rolls his eyes. “yeah yeah love ya too.” he answers you. you walk into the classroom and close the door behind you.

*time skip to 2 weeks later*

 "yes, i do remember when you poured chocolate milk on bryce walker’s head for me in second grade!“ jeff exclaims and you both crack up. "well someone had to do it, he was bullying you. plus i may or may not have been still mad at him for ripping my coloring sheet like 3 days before that.” you say as you and jeff walk towards your locker. “well i have to go y/n, but we’re still on for that test review after school right?” he asks. “yeah, definitely.” you answered. “ok then, i’ll text you.” jeff says while walking backwards down the hallway and pointing to you. 

you laugh to yourself and put your combination in your locker. clay comes up to you and closes your locker. “well good morning to you too, angel.” you say with a confused laugh. “switch with me.” clay says bluntly. “what?” you question while opening your locker again. “please y/n. i can’t be around him for one more second. it’s been 2 weeks and he hasn’t even bothered to learn my name. he’s called me every name in this world that starts with a ‘c’ but not mine.” clay rushes.

 "okay woah dude, chill, it’s monty we’re talking about. the only name he cares to know is his own.“ you snort. clay grabs your shoulders and shakes you. "switch with me PLEASE. you’re literally the nicest girl in school. monty’s like a tiger, and i’m just the helpless gazelle with the broken ankle. he’s just waiting to pounce on me. you? you’re a like a fuzzy, cute, baby tiger. he wouldn’t lay a hand on you.” you laugh at clay’s comparisons.

 "please y/n. i’ll do anything.“ your answer was already yes, but you stare into space like you’re contemplating. "go on…” you tell him with a smirk. “i’ll give you half off of movie tickets and free snacks at the crestmont for a year.” clay says. you squeal and hug him. “i’ll do it!” you exclaim. “you’re the best y/n, i mean it!” clay tells you. you laugh at him and flip your hair over your shoulder. “well what can i say, i try.” you say laughing even more. you both go into a fit of laughter only to be interrupted by yelling.

 "hey caleb!“ monty yells to clay from down the hallway. he approaches you guys and speaks again. "i got practice today so my place at 5, okay cameron?” monty says. “it’s….it’s clay dude.” clay says to him, but monty is on his phone texting away. “uh yeah whatever, conrad, i’ll see you tonight.” monty says before looking at you. he watches you for a second, winks, and then heads to class.

 "goodbye and good luck.“ clay mocks you with a smile. you roll your eyes, hug him, and then walk towards your class, which monty happened to be in. you muster up every ounce of confidence that you have in you and walked to the back of the classroom, away from your usual spot in the front, to sit right next to montgomery. he stares at you with his eyebrows raised and then grins. 

 "y/n, right?” he asks with his signature smirk. you nod your head and look him in the eyes, taking a moment to admire his freckles. “montgomery, right?” you mock him. he pauses for a second before responding. “to most, yes, but a pretty girl like you can call me anything that you’d like to.” he says to you, still smirking. “okay look dude, clay got….reassigned to jeff, so i’m your tutor now. i’ll be at your house at 5, like you said. okay?” you say while writing. “okay.” monty tells you with a smile while nodding his head. he watches your pen fly across the paper while you copy the notes. “monty?” you ask. “yeah?” he replies. “do your work.” he laughs, and then answers you. “no thanks babe, i can do you though.”

 throughout the rest of the lesson, monty cracks numerous jokes just to hear you laugh. your heart was swelling but you’d never let him know that. at one point he rested his hand on your thigh and began to inch upwards. the bell rang and you both got up to leave without a word. the spot where he came in contact with your skin tingled for the rest of the day. 

 *time skip through the rest of the day* 

 you start watching people’s snapchat stories when you catch a glimpse of the time. 4:45. it was gloomy outside but your energy was high, and you were ready to see monty. you hadn’t stopped thinking about sitting next to him. you grab your stuff and start walking to his house.

 on your way there, the skies decide to open up and pour down on you. you run the rest of the way to monty’s house, banging on the door when you arrive. you hear a voice yelling and then someone rushing down the stairs. “welcome to casa de la cru-” monty starts until he notices that you’re drenched. “y/n get in here! are you crazy? you’re gonna get sick.” he exclaims while grabbing your wrist and pulling you into his house. 

“why did you walk in the rain? you could’ve texted me. i would’ve picked you up.” he says while looking at you. “you see the thing is: 1. i don’t even have your number, and 2. it wasn’t raining when i left my house. i walked because you only lived a street away but now i see that that was a terrible idea.” you explain to him. “take your shoes off and follow me.” he tells you rolling his eyes. you walk up the stairs and into the bathroom with him. he puts a shirt and some shorts on the counter for you. “thanks.” you tell him, hardly above a whisper. 

 you start to peel off your wet shirt when you realize that monty is still at the door, watching you. “um, can i help you?” you turn around and say with a laugh. “i’m just enjoying the show, baby.” he says. your cheeks start to burn again and monty starts walking away. “you know, you look cute when you blush.” he calls out to you with a laugh evident in his voice. you shake your head and roll your eyes at his comment. 

 the shorts that monty gave you kept falling down, so you walked into his room wearing nothing but the shirt that he gave you. given the height difference, it stopped mid thigh on you. he looks up at you with wide eyes before licking his lips and smirking. you hand him your wet clothes and he walks next to you before whispering in your ear. “you know, my clothes look good on you, but i bet they’d look better off.” he casually strolls downstairs to put your clothes in the drier and the blood runs to your cheeks once more. 

you sit on the edge of his bed, taking in your surroundings. his walls are covered in movie posters, band posters, and his baseball pics. you move to sit criss cross on his bed and you open the history book. monty runs back up the stairs and then stands in his door frame admiring you. “what?” you ask him. he responds by walking over to your spot on his bed and then sitting in front of you. you look at each other in the eye and monty tucks a piece of hair behind your ear gently. “monty?” you ask innocently. “hmmm?” he hums in response, focused on your lips. “if you’re gonna kiss me, then do it already.” you say with a cheeky grin. 

his eyes light up and he smashes his lips against yours. your hands rest on his chest, and you move your lips to his neck. he groans and shifts himself to lay you down. “god… you’re so sexy,” he says as you look up at him. he climbs on top of you and starts kissing you roughly. you fumble with the buttons of his shirt and take it off. “someone’s impatient,” he mumbles while smiling against your lips. “shut up de la cruz.” you say to him. “make me.” you kiss monty with even more force than before, and you reach down, gently grazing the waist of his sweats. monty pulls away from you and you whimper.

 "not so fast, princess.“ monty says while tugging on the hem of your (his hehe) shirt. he pulls it over your head and stares at you in awe. "damn i was right, they do look better off.” he tells you. monty begins grinding on you while kissing from your jawline to your neck. “you have no idea how long i’ve been wanting to do this baby.” he says into your neck. monty reaches down to grip your thighs and spreads your legs slightly. he dips into your wetness with his fingers and starts moving at a slow, steady pace. his touch gave you a feeling that you’ve never experienced before, and it drove you crazy. you try to hold back your moans, but a few escape.

 "let me hear you,“ he whispers into your ear. you moan his name and buck your hips against his fingers to create more friction. monty chuckles darkly and starts moving faster. he curls his fingers inside of you and you’re about to lose it. "f- fuck oh my god.” you moan breathlessly. your eyes screwed shut as you were coming up on your high, and monty suddenly pulls his fingers out. you gasp and then turn angry. “what the fuck was that for?” you say and he smirks again. “i couldn’t let you have all the fun now could i?” he says as he pulls down his pants. 

you smile as you stand up in front of him, pushing him back on the bed gently. you straddle him as you kiss all the way down his chest, getting slower and sloppier as you reached the waistband of his boxers. you place a kiss on the waistband, and then move back up his neck. you grind slowly against his erection, and the feeling of the cloth against your naked sex caused you to moan. “shit y/n, stop teasing.” monty says. he grips your hips to stop your movement, so you reach into his boxers and start pumping him. monty throws his head back and grunts in pleasure. your hands glide up and down smoothly while monty groans your name. he grips your wrist and looks at you with dark eyes. 

 "i need to be in you. now.“ he growls. he flips the two of you over and positions himself at your entrance. monty slides into slowly and you hiss. you had been with a couple of guys before, but monty was definitely the biggest. he rolled his hips and started thrusting into hard and slow. with every thrust, he went deeper and deeper. "fuck mont, faster.” you moaned. “you like that huh, baby girl?” he teased you. you tried to arch your back up off of the bed, but he held you down. he was still moving excruciatingly slow and you couldn’t take it anymore. 

you were whimpering and monty spoke up again. “look at me y/n. tell me what you want me to do.” you make eye contact with him while he moved in and out of you slowly. “i want you to fuck me montgomery. fast and hard.” you begged him. your dirty words made him twitch and groan.

 he propped your legs up on his shoulders and started speeding up. “fuck, you feel so amazing babe.” monty tells you. your eyes roll back as you curse his name. “you’re mine y/n. no one else can have you. no one can touch you like this.” he tells you, bringing his hand to rub circles on your clit. “y- yes monty. i’m yours. oh my god.” you say with your eyes closed. “look at me baby. come for me.” he tells you. you look him in the eyes and feel your walls clench around him as your orgasm approaches at his words. after seeing you come undone, he comes too. 

 he rides out his high and pulls out of you. you whimper and he lays next to you, caressing your cheek. “remind me to thank clay for having no patience.” monty says with a smirk. you raise your brows and start stuttering. “remi- you- what?” you question. “i knew his name the whole time. i just thought that if i annoyed him enough, i’d get to work with you, and i was right. he took longer to crack than i expected him to though.” he says still smirking. “montgomery, i hate you.” you tell him with a laugh.

“your mouth says that, but your body said otherwise.”

 a/n: i feel like i always say this, but that was so fun to write. i genuinely enjoy writing and making these scenarios come to life for you guys.

FICS FOR STEREK’S VALENTINE’S DAY FIC REC

As it’s coming up to Valentine’s day I thought I would put a rec together of all my favourite Valentine’s themed fics!

Hope you enjoy, and remember as always, make sure you check rating, tags and warnings on all fics!


Always (1/1 | 1,066 | Not Rated)

Derek’s in love with Stiles but thinks he’s about to lose him. Stiles was never going to let Derek go in the first place. Fluff ensues.

Sometimes love is an obligation to your grandmother (1/1 | 6,982 | Rated M)

Dearest Derek,

Welcome to your 21st year! As per the wonderful tradition of the house of Hale, you will be attending some of the best places to be single that Beacon Hills has to offer today. First, it’s to the Coffee Shop on Main where you will get two lemon zest chocolate chip muffins. Listen to me very carefully, I’m going to ease you into the way this works. Buy two muffins, but you’re only going to eat one. Find someone cute to give the second one to…

The letter went on, but Derek was staring at it in horror, unable to process how terrible that sounded in just the first paragraph. Today was going to suck.

*

Or: Derek’s grandmother relishes setting her single grandchildren up on Valentine’s Day. Only, less ‘setting up’ and more ‘forcing them to run a singles-only scavenger hunt where the prize is love or at least sex’.

Derek never wins. Derek never WANTS TO win.

Kiss Me Under the Light of a Thousand Stars (1/1 | 5,631 | Not Rated)

“It was a true love spell,” he admits quietly. “It was supposed to help me find my true love. And apparently I suck at magic as much as I suck at dating because I screwed this up too.”

~~~

In which Stiles’ Valentine’s Day love spell goes very wrong.

Or perhaps very right.

Valentine’s strike (2/2 | 6,015 | PG-13)

Stiles hates Valentines Day. It was the bane of his existance. But he’s home for the 'holiday’ and has nothing to do since everyone he knows is busy. Except Derek, Derek is the only one alone as him.

Or

The five times Derek and Stiles date by accident and the one time one of them actually ask.

Thank Jackson for me (1/1 | 3,187 | PG-13)

Derek keeps asking the wrong kind of questions.

Hot for Teacher(’s Aide) (1/1 | 8,050 | PG-13)

“He invited you to his apartment.”

“To do a lesson plan.”

“Yeah and to probably lesson your plan while you’re there,” Scott said, waggling his eyebrows.

“That made no sense, but you still managed to make it sound dirty,” Stiles said. “I’m impressed.”

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rollingstone.com
Harry Styles' Revealing New Album Doc: 10 Things We Learned
Read 10 things we learned from Harry Styles' new Apple Music album doc, from why he cut his hair to what it felt like to regain his private life.

Following the release of his self-titled debut, Harry Styles has given fans an inside look at the process of making the record in a new Apple Music documentary titled Harry Styles: Behind the Album. The 50-minute feature shows Styles playing the complete album for the first time in between recording sessions with his band and producer Jeff Bhasker in Jamaica and London. While the 23-year-old has been extremely candid about his life in the year following One Direction’s hiatus, he opens up even further here as he details the process of writing and recording Harry Styles. Here are 10 things we learned from the film.

1. Styles first performed the album all the way through at the legendary Abbey Road Studios.
The live scenes from the film show Styles fronting his new band at rock’s holiest ground: Abbey Road Studios. Not only was it a convenient location since he lives close by, but the site also held a special significance for the lifelong Beatles fan. Styles notes the “aura about the place” that drew him in.

2. He relished the opportunity to live a totally private life for a full year.
For five years, One Direction was the biggest band in the world. They sold out stadiums on their back-to-back tours while fans and tabloids followed their every move. Having spent his teenage years in the harsh spotlight, Styles was able to slip away from the immense fame he experienced – living quietly at home with his family – and retreat to Jamaica to make music. As he put it, he “made myself get bored.”

3. Don’t get it twisted, though: He loved being in One Direction.
“When you leave a band, a boy band, you feel like you have to go the complete other direction and say, ‘Don’t worry everyone, I hated it. It wasn’t me,’” Styles explains before noting that his experience in and out of the group was filled with nothing but real, genuine love and appreciation. “I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for that band.” As positive as the experience was, the young artists felt a lot of pressure to get bigger with each album and tour, and Styles is glad the group’s first phase ended on a high note. Having that experience has allowed him to feel like he can pursue a less intense, maybe even smaller career than what he did with One Direction.

4. Cutting off his long hair helped him to make a fresh start.
For the latter half of his time in 1D, Styles became “the one with the long hair,” as he views it. During their Made in the A.M. era, his long tresses fell below his shoulder and became an important part of his look. In the documentary, cutting off his hair is a symbolic, momentous occasion that helps him enter a new era of his life and career. Still, he tries to not dwell on that too much during the interview scenes. “I was about to personify my hair, but then I decided not to,” he jokes.

5. He gave collaborator Mitch Rowland a handmade guitar.
One of Styles’ main collaborators on the LP is Mitch Rowland, who joined the band by chance. Rowland had been working at a pizza shop before teaming up with Styles, Bhasker and the rest of their crew, and he ended up co-writing every song with Styles. In a tender scene from the documentary, the singer shows his appreciation for the musician by giving him a gorgeous handmade guitar. As his own thank you, Rowland offers Styles the guitar he had been playing throughout the process of creating the album after playing his own “farewell solo” on it.

6. Jeff Bhasker helped Styles grow as a songwriter.
Styles has nothing but compliments for the superstar producer whom he credits with helping him grow as a songwriter. For Styles, Bhasker’s encouragement and support was an integral part of the writing process for his solo debut. According to him, he had written several duds early on, and instead of dismissing the tracks entirely, Bhasker found “the good bits” and they continued on with those.

7. “Carolina” was the last song written for the album.
Bhasker was looking for a rocker with a good melody to round out the album, so Styles served up the riveting, early-Sixties-ish “Carolina” to fulfill the producer’s order. “It was the little bit of fun we had been wanting but didn’t have,” Styles says of the song. It is also the only song in the documentary that Styles confirms to be about a specific person whose name is in the lyrics. Sleuthing fans have connected the song to a fan named Townes whom he had met once when she was 17 years old. According to Styles, he has seen her once since writing the tune though he did not reveal to her that he had written a song about their one-time encounter.

8. He remains diplomatic when it comes to writing songs about other people – and having songs written about him.
“To have been part of a moment that means something to someone enough for them to write a song about it is a huge compliment,” Styles reveals. He is careful not to name names but he is confident that the people he sings about on his debut solo album will be able to connect specific moments mentioned in the lyrics with their personal experiences. Asked about the times when the tables have been turned on him, Styles offers a coy “no comment.”

9. Seeing a gospel choir record backing vocals for “Sign of the Times” made him emotional.
One specific moment during the recording process that left a major impression on Styles was the experience of sitting in the room as a gospel choir recorded massive, angelic harmonies for his first solo single “Sign of the Times.” In footage of Styles experiencing this moment, he clutches his face and even runs up to hug the soloist towards the end of the session.

10. He had to have a prosthetic version of his face made while filming his first music video.
After photos from the set of the “Sign of the Times” video leaked on Twitter, fans shared spooky images of a man wearing a prosthetic version of Styles’ face while flying in the sky. The Michael Myers–esque mask was created in case Styles needed a stuntman for the video, which features him flying through mountains and over the sea while singing the song.

i should have written this goddamn show
  • it’d be on hbo so swearing and topless people,,,, the anti game of thrones
  • confirmed gay merlin + morgana
  • bisexual gwaine + arthur
  • at some point gaius has a bong on his table and no one says anything about it
  • uther married morgana off to some nobleman and they’re best friends!! they love each other in a super platonic way and high five a lot and he helps with the nightmares and they just love each other okay
  • he’s also a knight in arthur’s inner circle
  • a little of gwen and merlin talking about boys
  • servants can read/write, but it’s at least explained
  • eric the stable boy™ (merlins ex boyfriend, season 2)
  • also merlin taught morgana magic and she’s not evil; she works closely with her brother as an advisor and a knight
  • there are dogs
  • a lot of platonic hugs and “i love you’s”
  • a different antagonist
  • gwaine kisses merlin at sometime like its normal (they’ve been seeing each other)
  • leon marries some awesome noblewoman sometime during season 3 and arthur is the best man and everyone loves her
  • ancient rome gets at least a mention
  • leon and his wife get pregnant
  • lowkey percival and gwaine are together
  • arthur and gwen talk after lancelot is in camelot for good and decide they don’t work
  • feMALE KNIGHTS
  • “wine and cheese club” they get drunk and talk about their problems; basically just gwaine and percival giving relationship advice to merlin and whomever
  • gwaine knows™
  • morgana blushes and smiles at cute girls
  • merlin has the mouth of a sailor
  • roman catholic church
  • mithian gets married and he’s a perfect gentleman who loves her and she’s so happy, (they stay in camelot for a few episodes)
  • sometime during season 4 they do monty python and the holy grail
  • sometime also during season 4, they’re in the woods and arthur is split from the group for some reason and bandits attack and he watches the whole thing and sees merlin using magic; he’s not angry, just hurt
  • arthur gives merlin ygraine’s ring + merlin is seen with it around his neck
  • “i bet you’d look cute grasping at the sheets of my bed” “no matter how many times you ask im not making your bed asshole”
  • arthur and gwen still get married and are best friends; although arthur is with merlin and gwen is with lance
  • gwen and lance have triplets!! and the triplets have four parents: the king, the queen, first knight and the king’s servant
  • sometimes merlin falls asleep in front of the fire and arthur has to carry him to bed
  • colin morgan in skinny jeans
  • ban on magic repealed
  • arthur suggests appointing merlin as court sorcerer and royal consort but merlin just smiles and says all he wants to be is his servant
  • epilogue where arthur/merlin and morgana and gwen/lance + all their kids!!! are having a picnic
Wings

A/N: I’m gonna be quite honest. These past weeks I’ve been staying up until 6 am and waking up at 2 pm. One day I woke up and found I had written this in my notes. I don’t really remember writing it, but hey. Why not?

Spencer Reid meets his guardian angel and she’s nothing like he would have ever imagined. 


Originally posted by matthew-gray-gubler-trash-no1

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K A I R O S | 05 |

/ˈkīräs/

(n.) the perfect, delicate, crucial moment; the fleeting rightness of time and place that creates the opportune atmosphere for action, words, or movement

An arranged marriage AU.

Paring: OT7.
Genre: fluff, angst, a lot of suggestive parts and eventual smut.
Waring: Mild sexual content
Word count: 6.1k
Author’s note: Part 5 is the final chapter, I am discontinuing the series. An ending post with a summarized ending will be posted along with a short explanation as to why I’m discontinuing. Overall, thank you for reading guys!

Parts: | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 (M) |

“But mom, I’m not going to live with a bunch of strangers-!”

“I had the maids pack your things last night, your bags are outside.”

//

Cliche is underrated.

Especially when you just got kicked out of your own house by your ever so loving parents to stay with seven boys you’ve only heard notorious things about.

Oh, and you’re supposed to pick one to marry by the end of next month

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ratcity  asked:

prompt: an Angel falls to earth and they land in bumfuck America and the first place they go is a diner, bloodstained and singed, to have a shitty cup of coffee

five conversations between a waitress named maria and an angel, recently fallen

1. Maria hadn’t said anything when the woman came in, blood in her teeth and a purpling bruise on her cheekbone. She’d been dressed too warmly for the mild spring, a puffy overcoat that hid her arms, her whole body, all the way down to her knees. But Maria hadn’t said anything, not when the woman ducked into the diner’s bathroom, coming back with everything washed away but the dirt under her nails, not when when she wanted the table by the window, and a cup of coffee, just coffee. (Cream and sugar? Maria had asked, but the question seemed to confuse her.) Maria hadn’t said a word as the woman sat there, coffee untouched for hours, until it was almost closing.

She was still staring fixedly out the dark window, as though the coming and going of the truckers at the gas station next door were some code in need of deciphering.

Maria cleared her throat, making the woman startle. “We’re about to close the kitchen, did you want a fresh cup?”

“A fresh–oh. No, I don’t–don’t like the way it tastes.”

“Did you want to order something else?”

“No, no, it’s just–people are always ordering coffee. I thought it must taste…not like this.”

Maria was startled into laughing, and was gratified to see a tentative smile cross the strange woman’s face. “That might just be Jenny’s day-old roast. You probably ought to try Starbucks or something before handing down the final verdict,” Maria told her, smiling.

The woman had kind eyes. “I will.”

Maria looked at her for a second, then set the coffee pot down on the table. She slid into the booth across from her, and folded her hands together. “Look, it’s none of my business, but–if you’re in some trouble, I got a friend who works in Family Services, I’d be happy to call her for you.”

There was a flash of panic across the stranger’s face. “No, I–I don’t have any family,” she said carefully, looking at some point over Maria’s shoulder.

“Whoever gave you those bruises–”

“I fell.”

Maria’s heart ached. “Look…”

The woman frowned, her dark eyes searching Maria’s face as though trying to read the thoughts behind it. “No, I really did fall,” she insisted.

“Okay. Okay, just–I’m putting it out there. You should know there are options, you don’t have to stay.  Look,  I’ve got to get the dishwasher running, so…don’t go anywhere, okay? I’ll walk out with you.”

When Maria came back to the table, the untouched coffee was still there. Underneath was a twenty dollar bill, the edges very slightly singed.

Keep reading

Insomnia

Pairings: Dean x Sister!Reader / Sam x Sister!Reader

Word count: 790

Warnings: Insomnia, think that’s about it

Let me know if you want to be tagged, also hit me up if you have any questions or requests!!

Originally posted by spnfans

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February: The fall starts easy. I took baby aspirin, and a rusty spoon to my head, and smoked the stale weed my brother left in a broken vase before he left for college. Night comes fast, and tells the creation story. I ignore her this time. I don’t give a fuck about how I was made anymore tell me how I fall apart.

March: Nobody can ever find the raw spot on their leg until they start itching. I remember 6th grade when the mosquito bit my calf. Larvae and laps on the soccer field in early spring. He is oozing into my shoes with the mud.

April: My mother buried my rusty spoon, and took my brown hands. the clothesline was dripping carbonated orange soda sun, the wind was soft, the mice were sleeping warm beneath the floorboards; she spread my tarot on the floor with the forever broken and gnarled thumb she stuck in a blender when she was 5. That spring I walked home alone some nights, the heatwaves followed me like the labored breath of drunk men who don’t take no for an answer, I turned over The Devil and someone dropped a wine glass next door, she gasped, white eyes, the mice began to scrape and scream, the heatwave killed their children like it split my shoulders open and ate the youth inside.

May: The month of falling out of trees, junior high was gonna shipwreck any day now. There is a fast food place where the milkshakes taste like cough syrup and the skater kids cheat death on 3 feet of concrete stairs. There is a crack in the sidewalk in front of it, and he kick flips on it to break the back of the mother who left him at 13, he breeds violence between his fraying vans and then something in his ankle snaps, my oxygen goes tar black. He bleeds, he. Makes this sound. Like a dog when you step on its foot. I want to hold him, put a butterfly on his cheek, give him a band aid, something, God, something. He looks like he’s in pain. I want to. I don’t know. Help.

I walk away trembling and put my head between my knees behind a dumpster full of shitty milkshakes.

June: The neighbors fuck like rabbits while I’m trying to cry to joy division. I pray for a lightning strike. This type of poetry is for pretty girls, anyway.

July: my birthday flies into the glass of my bedroom window and breaks its neck. mom said the only things you can grow in summer that won’t die are grapefruit and hair, and I made a garden, I cut my chest open for Demeter each full moon. These locks were watered with gulf stream sea spray. I fed them bludgeoned daydreams. I threw my head against church doors trying to send Jesus some red flowers for his funeral, or maybe his birthday, doesn’t really matter, we celebrate both.

August: I got kicked out of high school knocking myself out on my desk. People carved hearts into the enamel, I carved my heart out of my chest and turned it in for my midterm. I slam dunked my skull into the bleachers on game day, and when the bleachers fell, into my history textbook, and when the book was mushy with blood, into the track field. I’m grinning ugly, dancing to the 80’s synth in an empty gym after homecoming, with a nosebleed dripping love songs down my yellow teeth, like words on old gravestones: here lies a moontoothed lover who will never rest in peace, every night she claws her grave and hears the call of western waves.

September: I’m high on concussion flavored car races in a stolen low rider, bluebirds fly in circles around my head after we crash, I wrote a song on a 5 dollar bill called blunt force trauma and it is about skater boys with broken noses, snarls of shaggy Jew fro his friends make fun of, and hands. that graze los angeles highways while he rides asphalt waves, slam his locker, and give the finger to the education system he keeps tripping over like untied shoelaces. he pricks those hands sewing together the lackluster parties private school kids throw. he puts his dewy rose bud lips to the jack daniels bottle, and kicks the drum kit over, gives it mouth to mouth, pump his fists into someone’s chest, gives it a pulse again. hands big enough to steal grapefruit with, the size of my swollen heart. I didn’t know it could get that big but he bumped into me, buzzing like a light saber, sky walking out of the grocery store with a grapefruit. with my heart.

October: do you have a girl do you? have a lover? Jupiter is orbiting around whatever this emotion is called, the rollercoaster one. when you look at me. We spend Halloween turning into werewolves at the library, you were moshing in the kids section, bleaching your hair in punk rock, I was banging my bruised and knuckleheaded love poems into a paperback copy of Romeo and Juliet, brushing my hair with broken glass. That was the first day the blood on our hands was not our own, she shushed us and we laughed. High on Shakespeare and Jupiter gas, we dug our fangs into the dewy decimal system. You ask me my name, I tell you, you smile. We had matching bruises and I floated home.

November: You make me. Feel. You make me feel like I can speak to snakes. You make me feel like my hips have a purpose besides balancing bins of laundry, and bowls of fruit. You make 17 stop feeling like a suicide note no one will read. you make me banshee scream and lick like fire against young pines, when you. dance. when you. kiss her, let her ride your double dutch hips, and your skateboard. She is a new coin, tangy on his numb tongue, and he tucks her in his pocket, his lucky penny. I’m the bubblegum he scrapes off his sneakers and throws into a storm drain.

December: I still cower into my pillow and smile a crooked smile, and go red at the cheeks, you. You put the red in my cheeks. I’m here, I’m exploding, why can’t you see me? Just put the bottle down, take your hand from your eyes, I won’t ask you what happened to your face, or how you got that scar, I will just like you and like you. we can buy angels wings in Hollywood, make an apartment out of crumpled homework pages at the bottoms of our dirty backpacks, we can drop out of high school, I will like you and dissect your sadness like frogs in freshman biology I am used to the rotting smell in your ribcage, I reek of it too. I will like you. until I know how to love you.

January: I switch schools, I cut my hair, bleach what little is left. It makes my mother unhappy, she thinks my spirit world is severing ties, she thinks my planets are discordant. I ask somebody back home about him, she says he dropped out and started working on cars.

I come down. Softly.

February (again, again, again): He was born to a rabbi and a beauty queen. I was born to a chemist, and a witch. Ammonia, bleach. Don’t mix them unless you want someone to die. Blood, adolescence, summer saltwater. Don’t mix them unless you want to make somebody wish they were dead.

—  2. a crush. and nothing more.
Passing Detention Notes

Disclaimer: ART IS NOT MINE. NOT QUITE SURE WHERE IT’S FROM SO I’M SORRY IF I PISS SOMEONE OFF. JUST LEMME KNOW AND I’LL FIX IT BY ADDING YOUR CREDIT. SORRY BRUV.

Zack sat in a desk near the back of the class for detention. His desk usually faced the back wall, but Zack usually sat on the chair backwards and observed the class or randomly tapping along to whatever song he was listening to. He noticed that his friends generally actually got some work done during this time. He watched Kimberly pull out her Biology textbook while Billy pulled out some maps and colored pencils. Jason was furrowing his eyebrows at a math textbook, and Trini was reading a book that was assigned in English.

Zack sighed. He had gotten his work for class done already. His teammates found it surprising that he was still able to be a student at Angel Grove High since he was never in class. In all honesty, he got much of his work from his teachers through emails, so he was able to get some work done. After all, there wasn’t much to do up in the mines. He usually sat inside the abandoned train car and got some work done, just enough to make sure that he would be able to graduate. The school didn’t like it, but Zack thought that as long as he was still passing, it would be alright. 

Now that he was back in school with his friends, he actually did quite well in classes. He still spent a lot of time in his hideout, so he got a lot of work done. 

Zack was bored out of his mind. Detention wouldn’t be over for another 2 hours or so. He smiled and took out a piece of paper from his bag. The other rangers were still concentrating on their homework, but Zack was sure they would notice what was about to happen. Sure enough, when Zack tossed the folded up paper at Jason, he instinctively reached up and caught it between his fingers.

He looked back at Zack, confused. Zack just smirked and gestured at Jason to open it. 

And so it began: The Epic Detention Note String.

Zack: Hey! I’m bored, so we’re gunna play a little game of catch with this slip of paper. Write down a note with your name and pass it on! If you miss a toss, miss a catch, or end up getting caught, you lose! Just keep passing till the paper runs out of space! Doodle if you want!

Jason: I’m busy, so don’t blame me if I miss.

Billy: Sounds fun! Totally gunna sabotage.

Kimberly: Drawing time! Sorry it took me forever.

Zack: HOW DID YOU DO THAT IN LIKE 3 MINUTES! TF!

Trini: My girlfriend’s better than all of you.

Billy: My turn!

Jason: LOL accurate. How are you people drawing these things so fast?!

Billy: I don’t know. How are we passing this paper around at superhuman speeds?

Kimberly: He has a point. (NICE BILLY)

Trini: … Kudos.

Zack: I’m not sure whether to be flattered or insulted.

Kimberly: *doodles Go Go with power rangers lightning in corner*

Trini: FUCK I DROPPED IT.

Jason: And the first person drops out!

Kimberly: She looks so angry LMAO

Billy: SABOTAGE!

Zack: BILLY! WHY! I ALMOST DROPPED IT! WHAT DID YOU PUT ON IT?! ITS SO SLIPPERY! PAPER ISN’T SUPPOSED TO BE SLIPPERY!

Billy: LOL. Vaseline.

Jason: Woah. That was really slippery. The paper’s still in pretty good shape though….

Kimberly: LOL. THAT WAS THE WORST TOSS I’VE EVER SEEN. HE ALMOST FELL OUT OF HIS CHAIR! Mr. Bossman is out!

Zack: Agh, too bad. At least he isn’t smearing it anymore, being left handed and all.

Billy: SABOTAGE!

Zack: BILLY! STOP! I FUCKING DROPPED IT! DAMN! Welp, Zack-Attack is out!

Kimberly: Did he seriously call himself “Zack-Attack”

Billy: … *doodles bees in the margin of the paper*

Kimberly: We should start a band! *Doodles power ranger lightning bolt with power ranger colors*

Billy: Yes!

Kimberly: I WIN BITCHES! BILLY FAILS AT SUBTLETY! THE TEACHER TOTALLY LOOKED SHOCKED.

Jason: We just passing it around now?

Billy: DANG IT!

Trini: Told you she was better than you guys.

Zack: Yo! Go Hart!

Jason: Guys, team meeting tonight by the campfire. We are discussing this band thing…. I call lead guitarist!

Trini: No fair! We are totally hashing this out tonight. 

Zack: Ok ok. I think the writing should stop. We’ll just pass it to everyone to keep everyone updated. If it gets back to me. I’ll put the paper away. We are doing this again!

Trini: I’ll win next time…

Zack smirked down at the page in front of him. His teammates wrote everywhere on the paper, marking where the next line was with arrows and dashed lines. The paper looked like a road map full of words and little drawings. His friends were all looking back and forth from each other, silently chuckling. Zack took out another sheet of paper and wrote all their names down in separate rows. He gave Kim a “point”. Oh, I am totally crushing them next time. He put away the paper they wrote on for safe-keeping. He wanted to remember these moments.

The detention bell rang, and all the students began gathering their things. The rangers burst out laughing and immediately gathered. Zack displayed the scoreboard he made and they all laughed and commented on different types of games they could play.

They exited the building, and Zack thought to himself as the sunlight beat down on them. He was glad he met them. They were good for him.

the little mermaid au! ong seongwoo

the following scenario is based on the traditional storyline. please keep note that there are many different versions of the story, and not just the disney one.

  • ok so you’re the mermaid/merman (your preference) who adores humans bc like it’s so cool they have legs?? the idea of having legs and being on land just FASCINATES you and you’re sneaking around the shores to watch humans
  • and one day you’re just swimming on the surface and saying hi to the cute seagulls when you notice the sky turning dark and the clouds getting shady so like it was basically time to go
  • but just then you notice a ship floating like nowhere cLOSE to the shore
  • even though mermaids were always called a myth and you’d get chewed out if anyone saw ur tail you’re like…I need to save them >:((
  • and so you swim over to save the poor souls when suddenly rain just started POURING and the winds picked up out of nowhere and then you saw a body fall into the sea
  • you’re like oh shIT and suddenly accelerated in water to save the poor soul
  • you eventually find him and you get rly alarmed bc he isn’t struggling or anything he’s just kinda lifelessly sinking
  • you grab him and basically turn into an underwater jet bc you’d never swam so fast no not even when your mermaid mom told you dinner was ready
  • getting him to shore was so difficult because 1) the human was heavy and 2) you had no legs so you had to crawl to get far enough onto land
  • the dude (seongwoo if y’all didn’t realize yet) still wasn’t moving and you were panicking like??? he shouldn’t be dead yet
  • you do the mermaid version of cpr which was to….press your lips against his to suck all the seawater out of him
  • a minute later you start getting dizzy because you’re getting too dry so you had to crawl back into the sea…and you proceed to go back home but you just…couldn’t get that man out of your head….
  • meanwhile a princess from a different country visiting seongwoo’s found him collapsed on the beach and shook him awake and seongwoo’s like…what happened??
  • let’s call the princess rika like that snake from mystic messenger
  • anywaYS
  • rika told him that she “”saved”” him from drowning and he’s like…oh and that’s what she ends up telling the his father aka the KING and rumors spread around the palace like crazy like everyone was like damn they probably gonna get married now
  • meanwhile on yOUR END you were swimming towards the sea witch’s domain to ask for a pair of legs because after being on land and feeling the frustrations of being unable to stay for too long you REALLY wanted to become a human
  • the sea witch asks for your voice in exchange which was…a huge price
  • your singing is like the only thing that anyone’s ever praised you for so giving it up would be the same as tossing away half of your identity but…u know what, in the human world no one’s gonna know u anyway  
  • so she casts a spell and gives you the legs u wanted and then shoots u out of the sea
  • after you get to shore and struggle to get the hang of walking for like 7 hours you pick up some rags to cover yourself bc that stupid witch didn’t give u any clothes
  • you just want to explore the village and ur getting looks bc wtf ur wearing some dirty rags with sand all over and wobbling like jello but u don’t rly care
  • suddenly you find a boy aka sEONGWOO in a quiet part of the area just…dancing and you were like!!! oh my gOD that’s amazing how can his legs and arms move like that…

Keep reading

FTM Passing Tips #2

Please excuse my poor humor (;

(Short dude problems)
I am with you, brother. Here are some tips for my homies:

- Shirts and pants with vertical stripes make you appear taller. Just don’t stand next to tall titan people.

- Tighter pants makes your legs look thinner, therefore making you look taller.  

- Nothing wrong with being short. You could land some clothes in the boys department. I found my favorite Avengers shirt in that section. 

- Creepers/platform shoes are so rad, man. They add a few centimeters to your height and look hella punk rock.

- Jackets and coats that cover your bunbuns are comfy, but they make you look short. Maybe you can add a pair of creepers and a beanie and call yourself a tall punk rock homie.

- If you find a pair of pants that are too long, you can fold the bottoms up.


More tips:

- Make sure your shirt collar isn’t too loose around your neck. Tightening your bowtie or tie might help make your collar shirt appear more of a good fit on you. But be careful not to tighten it too much.

- CHEATING BOWTIE TRICK: I used to sew bows for my sisters to put in their hair, and I had some leftovers without bobby pins. I had an idea to use a string and tie the bow around my neck as a ghetto bowtie and it looked like a fine ass bowtie. Search up “bow no sew tutorial”. 

After making a bow, just pull a string that’s long enough to tie around your neck comfortably through that little middle loop and tuck the tied string ends under you collar shirt. Tadahhh $5 or less bowtie :D

- Longer vests hide them curvy hips, bruh.

- Trench coats are nice. Makes you feel like a badass fallen angel (;

- Fixing the seams of your clothes can help make a better fit for your body. You can even take old, baggy clothes and resew them as new ones.

- TWEEEEEED. Tweed is good. Makes you look like a polished gentleman. 

- Newsboy hats are pretty swell. Easy fix for a bad hair day. 

- Caps and snapbacks are cool too. 

- There are several makeup tutorials on making yourself look more masculine. Just Google “crossplay” or “ftm” makeup. The main tips are to contour your jawline, nose, cheekbones, neutralize the color of your lips a little with a dab of concealer, and fill in your eyebrows. 

- *Morgan Freeman’s voice* OLD SPICE.

- A pair of oxford and chukka shoes can take you far with most outfits. Yes, even in pjs and sweats. Just watch out for the fashion police. 

- Binders are awesome and will flatten your chest.
DON’T USE ACE BANDAGES NO NO NO
And don’t get a cheap $10 binder from China on Amazon if you plan to wear one daily. I bought one, but the material was not elastic. I rarely wear it. But it works fine if you’re cosplaying.

- Sport bras are a good substitute for binders. The ones designed to compress breasts are even better.

- Socks can get you a male yoohoo bulge. And it’ll keep your yoohoo warm during the cold winter! It’s like a sweater for your yoohoo! Oh my god, I’m never getting a date…

- Watches are great. But POCKETWATCHES, MMM YAS

- Polo shirts look good. Darker colored polos will help hide your chest.

- KNITTED SWEATERSasdfgljkklhsda;

- You can get a lot of male clothes from WalMart or Target. Don’t underestimate Walmart’s clothing selections. You can get work out gear, Hanes or Fruit of the Looms boxers, briefs, superhero t-shirts for less than $10, plain t-shirts, basically a whole wardrobe at these two stores. So instead of going to GAP and spending half of your rent on a few things, you can probably get a cartload of clothes and stop by for a dvd and some snacks at Walmart. 

- If you want to start a new wardrobe, buy simple and neutral-colored clothes first. It’s easier to mix and match black, white, gray, beige, and navy blue colored pants and shirts together than say, green, mahogany, red, and light blue. 

- Check out minimal fashion. It’s simple and uses basic colors for each outfit, usually black and white. 

- H & M has a wide variety of nice-looking clothes. I would say it has a better quality and designs compared to Forever 21.

- If you’re too lazy or shy to shop around at the mall, try online shopping. 

- If you’re buying cheap t-shirts or any other clothing on Ebay or Amazon, MAKE SURE TO CHECK THE REVIEWS. I ordered a design t-shirt from China a few months back but it has never been shipped to me.

- AND WATCH OUT FOR THE SIZES. Check your measurements. Asian clothings are mostly one size smaller. Not all sizes are universal. A small size for males can be a medium for females. I bought a coat online WHICH IS PRETTY RISKY that was a size small but ended up being too big for me. Ended up Christmas gifting it for my dad.

- Barbershops are better for male haircuts than hair salons, or so I’ve heard.

- LONG HAIR CAN BE MANLY. PULL OFF A MAN BUN. KEEP IT DOWN AND LOOK LIKE A LEAD GUITARIST FOR A DEATH METAL BAND. TIE IT IN A LOW PONYTAIL, PUT ON A PAIR OF AVIATOR GLASSES AND A SUIT, AND VOILA YOU LOOK LIKE A BADASS HITMAN

Thank you guys for all the notes on my 1st FTM tips post. I felt that I’ve done good and offered a helping hand to people. You guys take care (’ v ’)/


*****

And here’s some more recent tips:

- Guys usually stick their chests outward and keep their shoulders back rather than hunch over. This posture would help boast your confidence.
- If you want to start working out but are afraid of working out in a public gym, find a work-out buddy to support you or exercise at home with free weights. USE YOUR SURROUNDINGS. TEXTBOOKS CAN BE USED AS FREE WEIGHTS. BENCHPRESS YOUR ELECTRIC GUITAR.
- Be careful when working out while wearing your binder. You may have to take longer breaks. If it helps, wear your binders a tad bit looser.
- Pick up dancing, martial arts, tennis, rock climbing, swimming, or any form of physical exercise to keep your body and brains healthy.
- When you’re coming up with a work-out plan, balance out cardio and weight-training days. You have to do cardio to help you tone your body.
- Some foods can help you lower your estrogen levels and increase your testosterone. Here are some: tuna, oysters, egg yolk, cabbage, asparagus, garlic, bananas, almonds.
- Lean your head back. Take a deep breath. Now exhale. You got this, man. Don’t worry. You look great.
- DONT LET NOBODY TELL YOU THAT THE STUFF YOU DO MAKES YOU LOOK FEMININE LIKE WTF GUYS CAN USE MAKEUP GUYS CAN KNIT AND COOK AND WEAR HIGH CROP TOPS THERE ARE NO SUCH THING AS GENDER LABELS DO WHAT YOU FEEL BE WHO YOU ARE AND FUCK ANYBODY WHO DENIES YOUR IDENTITY BECAUSE THE ONLY THING THATS INVALID IS THEIR FUCKING IGNORANCE

The Interview (Tom Holland X Journalist!Reader)

Pairing: Tom Holland X Journalist! Reader

Requested: Just helping out my boo @spideyyss

Warnings:Language, Sexy Tom

Word Count: 805

Tags: @parkersenses @grant-valdes-holland @underoosie @tom-cinnamon-holland @thelifeofanengineeringstudent @lil-spidey @parkerroos@tomsspidey@sunrisehunny @peterletmebeanavengerparker @spideyboys@jor-da-na@captainswriting @quacksoff @spideyr00s @spideyyss@tomhollandisthicc@marvelsdaughter @babyparker @spideyyparker@rooyeun @focused-on-holland @peterfightmeparker

A/N: IF YOU WANT A PART 2 SEND ME AN ASK REQUESTING IT… IF I GET ENOUGH ILL WRITE IT.

________________________________________________________________I was super nervous. They gave me a huge assignment for my first video interview. I was supposed to sit down and interview Tom Holland. He was just a few months older than me but he was so famous…. As if I wasn’t already nervous about my first interview of course i got stuck with the most handsome, funny, british guy I have ever seen. Not that I was complaining. But what if I stutter? What if I embarrassed myself in front of him? What if- No. I need to stop and start writing questions. I stayed up til 3 am writing questions to ask him. I don’t like using the standard interview questions. They were so basic and they got annoying after a while. I liked to surprise people with interesting questions. I had a list of about 30 questions of when I decided to get some sleep. As soon as I woke up I drank three cups of coffee, grabbed my outfit, which consisted of black and white web leggings, a vintage Spiderman t shirt, and a denim vest with marvel patches on it. I threw my hair up in a bun, grabbed my purse, and drove over to the studio. After going through the fun process that was hair and makeup I was told that Tom was in the building. My heartbeat immediately picked up. I kept reading over my questions and trying to calm myself. Finally it was time. I walked onto the set and sat in the tall chair they provided for me. I had my note cards in hand. Suddenly I see a curly brown mop of hair and there he is, in all of his chocolate eyed glory. He came and shook my hand “Hello darling. You must be (Y/N).” He says with a blinding smile. “Tom hi! Wow you are gorgeous.” It takes me about 10 seconds to realize that I said that out loud. “Oh my god that is so embarrassing I am so sorry.” I say quickly, the tips of my ears and my cheeks turning pink. “You’re quite alright. I’m flattered that the beautiful woman I just met thinks I’m gorgeous.” He said with a chuckle and a dazzling grin. “We’re about to start. Tom could you take your seat?” The videographer said. Tom nodded and took his seat.  They signaled the count down and I try to breathe and smile. “Hi everyone! (Y/N) (L/N) here interviewing Tom Holland.” I say gesturing at Tom. “Hello everyone!” Tom says cheerily, waving at the camera. “So Tom, I’ve compiled a list of questions from our viewers and a few that i wrote myself.” I said, waving the cards in my hands. “Go for it, Love.” He says with a smile. “If you had to have a food for hands that you could eat and they would regenerate every night, what food would you pick?” I ask reading from the card and then looking up at him. “Hmmmmm…. I’m gonna have to say chocolate. Because it’s delicious.” He said looking at his hand, shrugging and looking up at me. “But what if they melt?” I say reasonably. “Shit you’re right. Then….. Rock candy.” He says. “That was my answer too!  Next question, What is the last picture you took on your phone?” I ask. “It’s actually a picture of Tessa. She’s such a little angel.” He says pulling out his phone and showing me the picture. “She’s adorable! I want one.” I say, cooing over the little fur baby. “Maybe you could come visit her one day.” He says with a wink. I blush and giggle. “Next question, What was the weirdest prank call you’ve ever made?” “Harrison and I once prank called Anthony Mackie…. He wasn’t too happy about it.” To says with a laugh. I laugh and smile imaging how he reacted. “ALRIGHT AND WE ARE BREAKING FOR LUNCH!” The cameraman says. Tom stands up and comes over to me. “I have a question for you now.” He says. I look at him with wide eyes. “All these questions and you still haven’t asked me out… I’m a little disappointed.” He says smoothly. My jaw drops. Did TOM FUCKING HOLLAND just hit on me? “Are you serious? You wanna go out with me?” I ask, my eyes wide. “You’re smart, funny, a little weird, and absolutely stunning, darling. Of course I want to take you out.” He says, brushing a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “Okay then. Thomas Stanley Holland, will you do me of the immense pleasure of going out with me?” I ask, very dramatically. “Why of course I will angel. And I will definitely show you immense pleasure…..eventually.” He says with a wink. I cannot believe this. I have a date with Tom Holland. Holy shit.   

No Happy Endings | Wonho [M]

Originally posted by wonhontology

Warnings: Strong language, sexual suggestiveness. (no actual smut scene yet)

word count: 2,489

 “I don’t think I have ever been so graphically threatened a day in my life,” Hoseok says clutching his heart.                                   

Part 2: Eating out, and eating out. Because apparently there’s a difference.


Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Do you have any Faberry or Bechloe fic recs? You write amazing fanfiction, so I imagine you probably also have good taste in them :D

aw thank you so much! as luck would have it… I do have fic recs for both of those ships! And, well, of course I think of myself as having good taste in fics ;)

I have made a few faberry fic recs in the past, and unfortunately, I haven’t found many more fics with them since then? Granted, I haven’t been as much in a faberry-heavy mood for a few months, so… yeah the fic rec lists are the same. You can find them  here and here.

As for bechloe… okay, well the majority of my favorite Bechloe fics are shorter stories/oneshots (which i believe is the majority of stories i’ve really seen) but granted, I haven’t gone through this entire fandom and scoured for fics like i have for faberry. 

Okay, so without farther adieu:

Bechloe Fic Recs

By Redlance

Experimentation - So, about that one little regret… (aka canon divergent from the second movie and Chloe’s tent confession also known as the slowest burn to ever burn)

this is like the classic quintessential bechloe fic, let’s be real. i’m sure you’ve already read it, but… the hands down best bechloe fic i’ve ever seen.

Exception - Chloe is Beca’s exception to most of the rules she’s set herself in life. Which isn’t anywhere near as difficult for Beca to accept as it should be.

Sure Would Be Prettier - There’s an entire world out there for Beca to see, and she does. It’s filled with beauty and music and wonder, and it’s all pretty breath-taking. But there’s always something missing.

By wherehopelies -

You Still Make Sense to Me (Your Mess Is Mine) - “Chloe fills up all of the spaces inside her that she didn’t even know existed until Chloe was there.“orrrrr the one where it takes a fake-engagement and being domestic as hell for these two idiots to realize they’re in love. Set two years after PP2 and mostly canon compliant. Title taken from Vance Joy’s "Mess is Mine”

By Care -

The Sexual Implications of Teleportation - The first time is a complete freak accident.

eliminate the distance between us - Senior year isn’t really going the way Beca thought it would.A Pitch Perfect 2 AU.

You Know Her Breath Will Catch And How Her Fingers Curl - If someone had asked Beca at the end of her freshman year whose idea it would be to do a Bellas reunion tour, she would have sworn up and down that it would be Aubrey’s.

By gilligankane -

reality is a sliding door - There is a theory: every person has a moment in their life where they make a choice to go left or right. From those possibilities, two parallel lines form, running alongside each other; two concurrent realities. Parallel lines never cross; they run forever next to each other without ever meeting.In one world, Beca Mitchell joins the Barden Bellas.In another world, she wasn’t supposed to.In every world, Beca Mitchell underestimates Chloe Beale.

when gravity’s pulling (you’re still holding my heart) - Beca isn’t sure how she got here.Well, she knows how she got here, in this house, with these girls. She knows all about the real estate process too. But she isn’t sure how she got here: Laying on her bed with her laptop in her lap and her legs bent at the knee, feet flat so Chloe can paint her toenails while she goes over the Bellas history with Legacy and answer every question about the Beca-and-Chloe (fake) dating thing.It’s this part of her life she isn’t so sure about.

Song Beneath the Song - Chloe has always followed the music, because music has given her the best, most important things in her life.  It’s never led her astray. Sometimes, though, she wishes it’d give her a little bit of warning about the roller coaster she’s in for.

By sexonastick -

The Party’s Crashing Us - Beca has never been big into high school activities, but sometimes desperate people do desperate things. Like show up for marching band and get stalked by the creepy redheaded cheerleader who won’t leave you alone.

Bulletproof Use of Bullet Points - Nobody values friendship more than Aubrey Posen. (Even her best friend, Chloe, can really only be said to consider friendship equally as important as Aubrey does.) The point is: it matters.But Beca Mitchell might just be the most annoying person at Barden University. (Important note: she most definitely is.) Tolerating smug shitheads for the sake of someone else is surely the True Meaning of friendship.

By eliseboobman -

One touch and I was a believer (every kiss it gets a little sweeter) - “I wonder how many there are.” Chloe says, pointing up with her finger. She starts to count, moving her finger every time she does, and Beca smiles as she watches her. It’s impossible to count every star in the sky, but obviously Chloe tries. It’s such a Chloe thing to do.

You’re ripped at every edge but you’re a masterpiece - Beca is in love with Chloe. Chloe is in love with Stacie. Stacie is in love with Aubrey. Everything is messed up. (The unrequited love AU that nobody asked for.)

By obstinate_questionings -

This World Is Gonna Burn (Baby You Should Stick Around) - Beca really should have let Chloe know how much she hated ghost stories.[Halloween fic.]

By shitqueen -

Silhouettes -  It’s quite worrisome, how happy-go-lucky, doesn’t know the meaning of boundaries, across-neighbour Chloe Beale doesn’t bother her.  She doesn’t dwell on it though, she just continues on with life and focuses on what’s in front of her. Like, giving Jesse his Chinese food and pushing his legs off her sofa.(or: beca thinks everything is perfect, then chloe moves in across from her. being domestic as hell and secretly in love with each other for two years  come after.)

oh the habits of my heart - Listen, Beca’s not gay.She’s, like, only mildly attracted to German blondes. And, like, half-ish attracted to weirdo redheads with no knowledge on boundaries and how to respect them. So, yeah. Beca’s not gay.

By novel_concept26 -

Storytellers and Legends - Dr. Mitchell has the habit of kicking off his classes with personal stories: stories about a girl so outrageous, she couldn’t possibly be real. At least, that’s what Chloe always told herself. 

(Accidentally) Taking Aim - For Kay’s prompt: “At Barden, the acapella groups are naturally drawn to understanding the world through music. It’s the language they speak, from toners to aca-children, but most of all in the harmonies they make with their mouths. So is it really any wonder that Chloe is falling so hard when Beca is wooing her with her music, even if it’s completely by accident?”

Secrecy - Chloe and Aubrey are best friends; always have been, always will be. Which is what makes this whole thing so weird. Because, see, best friends don’t keep secrets from each other. Most of the time.

Some Kind of Home - Home is where the heart is; Chloe is just better at following hers than most people. Not that Beca gets that at all.

By reliquiaen -

I Am Not Worthy (Not Worthy of This) - Prompt: “I found your tumblr but you don’t know and urg now you’re posting about your crush on this cute person oh wait is that me.”  Got waaaay out of hand.

Jesse’s Girl - “It’s an inner monologue of curses and other assorted expletives coupled with self-derogatory slurs that’s been skipping scratchily through her head for the past ten minutes.” - AU

By lismicro -

this love ain’t enough to leave you - On a one-way trip to Los Angeles, aspiring DJ Beca Mitchell doesn’t expect her world to change. Enter Chloe Beale, photographer and journalist, who doesn’t know how to make hers stand still.

By mooosicaldreamz -

mix the bourgeoisie and the rebel (we got the gift of melody) - Beca is an up and coming producer, Chloe Beale is pop’s newest princess. This is the story of how they fall in love.

By echo_wolf -

Something You Want, Something You Need - Beca Mitchell’s not really sure how, but a copper-haired Cocker Spaniel (who walked into her bathroom while she was singing in the shower) managed to change her life and give her Chloe Beale.  Or the story of how DJ-just-moved-in-down-the-hall Beca and  travelling-private-music-instructor Chloe succeed to be disgustingly domestic with a dog and 5000 miles distance.

By galpalkru -

Don’t You (Forget About Me) - If you drunkenly sleep with your best friend, you’re both just supposed to pretend that you don’t remember, right? Even if you know that she knows that you know that she knows. Yeah.Or the one where Beca and Chloe sleep together and refuse to be the first to admit that they both remember everything.

By lamachine -

embrace the weirdness -  She was working for a sex line. Chloe was a phone sex operator.  Okay. That one, Beca needed time to process.

By theamberissubtle -

Aca-awkward - Chloe gets caught sexting in class by a lecturer who also happens to be the unsuspecting father of her girlfriend.

By chloebeale -

All Apologies - Beca can’t believe it when her gorgeous redheaded neighbor shows up on her doorstep. When she starts crying, admitting that she’s run over what she thinks is Beca’s cat, she doesn’t have the heart to tell her that the feline belongs to the old man next door. And when Chloe locks her keys in her car, she can’t help but invite her in. But even Beca doesn’t expect what happens next.

OH MY GOD I COULD KEEP GOING WHY DO I READ SO MUCH FANFIC
I’ll stop there for now… I hope you enjoy!

Stay Professional! Pt. 12

Work AU! Fluff, Angst and smut: Jungkook x Reader

Part 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 (Part 13 will be a continuation!)

Summary: You realise that you still have feelings for Jungkook despite his actions. You can’t help but melt and swoon under his charms- but you were still acting stubborn. When will you finally admit that you’re under his spell?

A/N: Honestly had a rough time writing this chapter- had to squeeze out the limited inspo I seemed to have so forgive me if it took long but regardless, enjoy the story! As always, responses would be appreciated! 

The blinding sunlight seeped through the white mesh curtains and you grumbled at the realisation of having to wake up. You turned around so that your back was facing the bright light and cuddled your blanket closer to your chest. You didn’t want to wake up to another day. You didn’t want to face your current problems of… Jungkook

Your eyes shot open and you sat up immediately, reminded of last night’s affectionate cuddles you knew you shouldn’t have enjoyed so much. You looked over your shoulder and to your surprise, he was nowhere to be seen. Instead, your eyes rested on the sight of neatly folded blankets on the floor mattress he supposedly ‘slept’ on last night. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion as you rubbed your eyes to wake yourself up. 

You carelessly threw on a bathrobe for extra warmth during the chilly morning and shuffled towards the kitchen to get yourself a glass of water. 

“Thank you for letting me stay the night. I can’t thank you enough for giving me a chance to express my apologies.” You stopped your shuffled footsteps and shifted your ear closer to the doorframe. It was childish to eavesdrop, but you physically couldn’t stop yourself from doing so. 

“It’s fine dear. I just hope I made the right choice.” Your mother’s quiet giggle sounded mute as you were listening through the door that connected the hallway to the kitchen. 

“I guarantee you that you did. I will take care of Y/N no matter what. I can give you my word, ma’am. I know that to you that might not sound convincing because I know I’ve made some pretty dumb and selfish decisions but… would you allow me to be selfish once more and let me love Y/N?” Jungkook’s soft morning voice sent chills down your spine. Was it the way that his voice sounded so irresistibly sultry in the mornings? Or his sweet words that had you practically melting by the doorframe. 

“I’ll do it right this time.” Jungkook chuckled and you couldn’t help but smile at the sweet sound. 

“Jungkook dear, I don’t know much about you at all. And for a fact, I can’t make any reliable judgements about you from just what she’s told me and from what I’ve seen from you. But I have a good feeling that what you’re proposing to me is sincere. I’m deciding to trust my instincts so please don’t let me down. Don’t let her down.” 

“You have my word, ma’am.” 



“Good morning.” You walked in on their quite intimate conversation about you with a straight face, although you were full of glee inside from Jungkook’s charming words. 

“Morning” Jungkook smiled radiantly as his small dimple made an appearance. You had to pretend as though he didn’t just give you a small heart attack from that unexpected cuteness so early in the morning so you managed to maintain that straight face, just barely

“What’s for breakfast?” You rummaged through the shelves in search of a cup and your mother immediately got up from her seat. 

“Oh I haven’t thought about that yet. What would you like?” She asked and you replied a little late from drinking water. 

“Anything, mum. Is there anything you want to eat, Jungkook?” You casually murmured as you put the cup in the sink and Jungkook’s eyes lit up at your sudden acknowledgment of his existence. He looked a little taken aback but you could tell that he could hardly contain his glee. 

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