this week in town

Busybody stay-at-home mom neighbor harasses me until my restraining order kicks her out of her house.

I lived across the street from a very bored stay-at-home mom whose excess idle time turned her into an insufferable busybody.

Her husband backed out of the driveway and slammed into my roommate’s car parked on the curb. He apologized, gave us his insurance info, and took care of it. He was never a problem, because he accepted responsibility for what he did.

His wife, however, demanded that we never ever park any cars at the curb again, because “we can’t get out of our driveway otherwise”. The street was very wide - she was just completely unable to accept that the accident was her husband’s fault, and figured we were somehow responsible for it, ergo we were responsible for preventing it in the future.

We told her that we would avoid parking there whenever possible, but that we still had the legal right to park on the street, and that if necessary we would still do so, and that it was her and her husband’s responsibility to avoid hitting other people’s legally parked cars when backing out of the driveway. She wasn’t happy with that answer, but just told us we better stay out of her family’s way, and stormed off.

One day, she came storming over, banging on the front door, cussing us out. We got her on our security camera saying “If you don’t move that f*cking car in the next 10 minutes, I am going to f*cking total it with my truck. It’ll be your fault, and you’ll have to pay for the damage to my f*cking vehicle”. To this, I simply responded: “I don’t know whose car that is, but I didn’t park it there. I have you on camera, so if you do anything to that car, I’ll have to call the police and hand over this tape”. She then threatened to sue me for invasion of privacy for recording her, and still insisted that we move the car, even though it wasn’t our property. We just ignored her, and she did not do anything to the car - we did keep the recording though.

A few weeks later, I had a friend visit from out of town. He parked his car on the curb, and then started unloading some stuff from his trunk. She came storming out, screaming and cussing at him “I have told you repeatedly never park your f*cking car on this curb. If you don’t move it, I am going to f*cking total it, and you can f*cking pay for a new goddamn car, as well as the damage you do to mine!” He tried to calm her down, and asked if there was somewhere else he could park, and she replied “You can park it in Hell, because that’s where you’ll be after I f*cking kill you!”.

Unfortunately for her, he had his dashcam running the whole time, and it captured everything. He called the police, and she was arrested for threatening to commit vandalism and for threatening violence.

A few days later, she left a long-winded hate-letter in our mailbox. It was written as if it were an open letter from the entire neighborhood, and it basically said that “nobody knows who you are”, and “Everyone wishes you would move away”, and “Nobody wants you living in our neighborhood”.

Thing is, she forgot about the security cameras. I took the video of her opening my mailbox - which included her taking all our letters out of the mailbox and rifling through them - and I gave them to the post office. This led to her getting arrested for a second time that week.

After that, we used her two arrests, our collection of security and dashcam footage, and her letter to get a restraining order against her that actually prohibited her from entering her own home, and then we called the police every time we saw her because she was in violation of the order.

She ended up having to live in a hotel room, and her husband came over, apologized to us, and asked if we would drop the restraining order so his wife could come home. I told him I would do it, but only if she wrote me, my wife, our roommates, and the friend of mine she threatened a 1-page apology for her harassment - and that she would promise to never ever contact us again for any reason whatsoever moving forward.

I received no apology, and the house went on the market a week later.

Some f*cking people…

daddykaos563  asked:

Is there a step by step guide to build a village, town or city for a DND game? I have trouble getting my ideas down on paper. I feel a guide may help.

This is how I make mine:

  • Pick if I want it to be coastal, in a forest, desert, etc.
  • Pick a cool name.
  • Decide if this town is mostly for passing through, or if major things are happening here.
  • Decide if they’re cut off from other towns or near others.
  • Decide on population, race majorities and minorities.
  • Pick how the town makes money, what are its imports and exports if any.
  • Who is the leader? How do people like them?
  • What is the towns major problem? Starvation, rats, monsters, etc?
  • How strict are the guards? Do the villagers trust outsiders? Do they hate any race or class?
  • Come up with a bar, inn, weapon, and armor shop name and staff for each. If they’re known for anything, what are they known for?
  • How does this town get along with outsiders/other towns?
  • Any well known locals? What are their names, what are they known for?
  • If your players are good, evil, or neutral how would the townsfolk react? How would your players react here?

A lot of times some of this info is never asked about from my players. I recycle and use that info for other towns if need be. Half the time no one asks about the armor shop, or the potions shop. But its nice info to have on hand.

I also sometimes make mini flash cards detailing the important bits like:

Inn: Sleepy Fellow. Run by Ma. 5 copper a night. Worlds best pillows, they’re always stolen. Ma is sick n tired of it and will gut any thieves.


Here are some little extra tips and tools, too.

  • Plan your city around your landscape. If its a thin and spindly island, you’re not going to have a ton of open space. If the city is in a desert, there are probably very tall walls to keep the sand from blowing in, or the houses might be below ground, etc.
  • Here is a cool map maker to help visualize things.
  • Think about what you’d typically find in a town. Inn, bar, and leather working shops will be basically anywhere. Larger towns will for sure have armor, weapons, potions, etc. Farmer’s markets, hospitals, etc. are also usually present.
  • What kind of town is it? Is it peaceful, do they forage and lack trade routes? Is the town large, have a large guard presence?
  • How does the town make their money? Hunting, gathering, self sustaining, making crafts?
  • I use this sometimes to give me town ideas. I don’t really hit generate tbh, just the options alone help me out a lot.
  • How can your town serve the quest[s] and your players? Is it the main place where quests are given/done? If so, it might need to be more fleshed out. If they’re just passing by you don’t need a lot of detail. Maybe just one quirk or two to make each town unique. e.g. “Every Thursday is bring your pet to work day” for the local guards.
A Yuuri Katsuki #Relatable Anxiety Feel:

Viktor, as they’re loading the groceries into the trunk, says, “Oh, we forgot sour cream.”

“Oh well,” says Yuuri, who is already planning how to work around the absence of sour cream in their fridge for the next week.

“Let’s go back in and get it,” says Viktor, closing the trunk with a decisive bang. 

“Um…no, that’s okay,” Yuuri says. “We don’t–do we need sour cream? I don’t think we need sour cream.” Half of Viktor’s recipes require sour cream. It’s a Russian thing. Yuuri has a What I don’t know can’t hurt me policy with regards to how much sour cream the typical Russian consumes in a week.

“Yuuri,” Viktor laughs, taking Yuuri’s hand, “Come on. The store is right there–it’ll take two minutes. It’s not like we’re in a hurry.”

“We’ve left the store,” Yuuri says. “We have to live with the purchase we’ve made. At least until another shift. We can come back in a few hours?”

“But we’re here now,” Viktor says, utterly perplexed.

“But the same person who just checked us out will probably check us out again,” says Yuuri, “and the only thing we’ll have to buy is two family-sized cartons of sour cream. They’ll know that we were just in there. And that we forgot something. And that our family eats a ridiculous amount of sour cream. Viktor, they’ll want to ask us about it.”

“Okay,” Viktor says. “Would it be better if…I went in and got it myself?”

“No. We go to this store every week. They know we’re married. The next time I’m here they’ll ask me Why did your husband buy all that sour cream.”

Viktor, gently, laughs and says, “Darling, I really don’t think cashiers pay that much attention to what people buy.”

“I know,” Yuuri groans. “But what if they do?”

“It’ll be fine,” Viktor says, and starts towards the store. “I’ll buy something other than the sour cream. I’ll be back in two minutes.”

When Viktor settles into the car, passing the single shopping bag with two huge containers of sour cream and one singular pack of gum in it, Yuuri releases a mournful bleat and says with the gravity normally reserved for funerals, “We can never come back to this store”

firesolvesallproblems  asked:

An entire forest and everything in it have been frozen in time since long ago. No one has memory of a time where it moved. There is a legend of a treasure hidden in its center. When the party reaches the center, there is a magical sword stuck to a rock on the ground. Once they pull it out, a gigantic roar is heard as the entire forest starts to move as a single being. It's the biggest Mimic they have ever seen.

the gym I’ve been going to for like the past four years has closed and I’m super bummed about that so here’s another self-indulgent TPoH/Duckverse crossover doodle because drawing is better than moping >:T

[suddenly sits up straight on this train] OH MY GOD

So I’ve had a lot of friends who went to teach English in rural Japan and have been the only foreigner for miles, and they tend to become local celebrities. Like, they essentially get paparazzi following their errands. Right after the new train station on local news is “Rachel went to the store today and bought natto. Did she like it?? More after the break”

THAT IS VICTOR

HOW DID I NOT SEE THIS EARLIER

Imagine Victor showing up to this dying tourist town and everyone learning his name within the week. Does anyone know who he is? Idk, he looks kind of familiar - Sato-san swears he recognizes him from one of Yuuri’s competitions, but Yuuri competes against a lot of handsome foreigners so one can never be sure. He was probably in the audience. He’s definitely a Yuuri fan, but isn’t everyone.

MORE IMPORTANTLY, Victor went to the fish market this morning! Did he like it? Did he buy anything? More after the break!

August is almost here! I am SO excited…my grandfather turns 90 this week and I am heading down to my home town to see him and have a big family celebration! 😁💕 Plus the weekend after is my birthday (I’m getting SO old) 🥂

What are you looking forward to in August?🌿

drunk boys

Abandoned

“No, sorry Lance I can’t hang. I’m out of town for the week. Sorry dude.” Pidge sounded far away on the phone. That was alright, she was always busy anyway. He’d called Shiro then.

“Nope. Sorry Lance. Keith and I are out of town.”

“For how long?”

“About a week?” That was cool. They were probably sucking face anyway, he didn’t need to be there for that.

“Allura do you wanna go to-”

“Lance, stop calling everyone. They told you, we’re out of town.” She cut him off rather harshly. Lance could hear someone say her name in the background to which she responded with a “what?”

“Wait, where are you guys?”

Allura came back to the phone and answered him as if he should have already known. “On a cruise. We’ll be back in a week. Lance we’ve been planning this for a month so if you could–”

“WAIT YOU LEFT ME OUT OF A CRUISE?! WHAT THE HELL ALLURA?!” Lance yelled into his phone. “Put me on speaker.” His mind ran in circles over all the reasons they left him out of a trip.

“Lance, can you chill? We didn’t think you’d want to come.” He could practically hear Keith roll his eyes.

“What gave you that impression?” Lance caught his voice wavering with each word he spoke. He was upset they left him out of a cruise and didn’t even tell him they were going in the first place. They purposely did this to him.

“Well we’re going to Cuba and we know how much you complain about the heat and bugs so we just thought you wouldn’t want to go.” Keith answered.

Lance nearly dropped the phone. He was in complete and utter shock.

He put the phone back to his ear and started cursing them out in Spanish feeling his fingers cramp from clutching the phone so hard now.

“Woah- Lance slow down what are you saying?!” Shiro’s voice was clear.

“I WAS BORN IN CUBA YOU DICKS.” He finally said with the tears choking him. He wheezed and coughed. “I have family in Cuba! And you’re going on a fucking cruise?! You didn’t ask me!”

“Lance we didn’t know-”

“BECAUSE YOU NEVER ASKED. Hunk knew– Wait where’s Hunk?” Lance had realized Hunk was the only one who hadn’t spoken to him.

“I’m right here Lance. I asked them why you weren’t coming and they told me you didn’t want to. It was odd but I didn’t call you. I’m sorry.” Hunk tried to explain but everyone knew he was just as guilty as the rest of them.

“Some fucking friends you are.” He almost hung up before he heard Keith one last time.

“Why the fuck are you so upset? Look, we’re sorry, we didn’t know. You can’t blame us–.” Lance never hung up the phone so fast before in his life.

He was angry, he was sad, and most of all he felt abandoned. They didn’t know where he was from despite him always talking about it, they didn’t think he’d want to come because he’d complain?

It doesn’t matter. He’s got other friends he doesn’t need them anyway. He doesn’t…