this weather makes me want to cry

What if Shiro could knit but all he can make are sweaters with a heart on them. He gives most of them to Keith since he’s the only one that wears them on more than one occasion and not just once to humor him.

Keith actually thinks sweaters like that are really cheesy but he’ll wear it regardless. If Shiro made a hat out of macaroni he would wear it. Shiro took time out of his day to make him a sweater, he’s gonna wear it.

Imagine Shiro stressing over always giving Keith sweaters so he tries to make something else. He figures a muffler should be easy enough but it turns to be total crap so he hides it. Keith ends up finding it anyway and wears it everyday until the weather gets too warm for it.

Every day Shiro comments on how bad it looks and how he promises to make a better. Keith thinks this one is more than fine, perfect even, it’s warm and anything Shiro makes for him is amazing.

PART ½


HARD TIMES

  • “ all that i want is to wake up fine ”
  • “ tell me that i’m alright ”
  • “ all that i want is a hole in the ground ”
  • “ you can tell me when it’s alright for me to come out ”
  • “ hard times are gonna make you wonder why you even try ”
  • “ hard times are gonna take you down and laugh when you cry ”
  • “ and i still don’t know how i even survive ”  
  • “ i gotta get to rock bottom ”
  • “ where do i go? ”
  • “ give me some sort of sign ”
  • “ if you hit me with lightning, maybe i’ll come alive ”
  • “ tell my friends i’m coming down ”
  • “ we’ll kick it when i hit the ground”

ROSE-COLORED BOY

  • “ low-key, no pressure ” 
  • “ just hang with me and my weather ”
  • “ i hear you making all that noise about the world you want to see ”
  • “ i’m so annoyed ” 
  • “ i just killed off what was left of the optimist in me ” 
  • “ hearts are breaking ” 
  • “ wars are raging on ” 
  • • “ i have taken my glasses off ” 
  • “ you got me nervous ” 
  • “ i’m right at the end of my rope ” 
  • “ don’t make me laugh, i’ll choke ” 
  • “ just let me cry a little bit longer ” 
  • “ i ain’t gonna smile if i don’t want to ” 
  • “ we all can’t be like you ” 
  • “ i wish we were all rose-colored too ” 
  • “ my rose-colored boy… ”   
  • “ i want you to stop insisting that i’m not a lost cause” 
  • “ ‘cause i’ve been through a lot ” 
  • “ really, all i’ve got is just to stay pissed off” 
  • “ if it’s alright by you… ” 
  • “ you’re turning it into a joke ”
  • “ leave me here a little bit longer ” 
  • “ i think i wanna stay in the car ” 
  • “ i don’t want anybody seeing me cry now ” 
  • “ we gotta look on the bright side ” 
  • “ well, maybe if you wanna go blind… ” 
  • “ you say my eyes are getting too dark now ” 
  • “ you ain’t ever seen my mind ” 

TOLD YOU SO

  • “ the best is over and the worst is yet to come ” 
  • “ is it enough to keep on hoping when the rest have given up? ” 
  • “ i hate to say i told you so ” 
  • “ they love to say they told me so ” 
  • “ i know you like when i admit that i was wrong and you were right ” 
  • “ at least i try to keep my cool when i am thrown into a fire ” 
  • “ throw me into the fire ” 
  • “ throw me in, pull me out again ”

FORGIVENESS

  • “ you hurt me bad this time 
  • “ no coming back ”
  • “ i cried ‘till i couldn’t cry ”
  • “ if i lay on the floor, maybe i’ll wake up ”
  • “ i don’t pick up when you call ”
  • “ your voice is a gun ”
  • “ every word is a bullet hole ”
  • “ if i never look up, maybe i’ll never notice ”
  • “ you want forgiveness ”
  • “ i just can’t do it yet ”
  • “ there’s still a thread that runs from your body to mine ”
  • “ you can’t break what you don’t see ”
  • “ will we just be alright? ”
  • “ it could take me all your life to learn to love ”
  • “ how i thought i could love someone, i haven’t even begun ”
  • “ if it’s all up to us, we might as well give up ”
  • “ i can barely hang on to myself ”
  • “ i’m afraid that i’ll have nothing left ”
  • “ don’t you go and get it twisted ”
  • “ forgiving is not forgetting ”
  • “ i’ll never forget it ”

FAKE HAPPY

  • “ i love making you believe what you get is what you see ”
  • “ i’m so fake happy ”
  • “ i feel so fake happy ”
  • “ i bet everybody here is just as insincere ”
  • “ we’re all so fake happy ”
  • “ i know fake happy ”
  • “ i’ve been doing a good job of making them think i’m quite alright ”
  • “ better hope i don’t blink ”
  • “ no one sees me when i crawl back underneath ”
  • “ if i smile with my teeth, bet you believe me ”
  • “ i think i believe me ”
  • “ please, don’t ask me how i’ve been ”
  • “ don’t make me play pretend ”
  • “ oh, what’s the use? ”
  • “ i bet everybody here is fake happy too ”
  • “ i’ll dress up my fears”
  • “ you think i look alright with these mascara tears? ”
  • “ i’m gonna draw my lipstick wider than my mouth ”
  • “ if the lights are low, they’ll never see me frown ”
  • “ i know I said that I was good and that i’m happy now ”
  • “ i should’ve known that when things are going good, that’s when i’d get knocked down ”

26

  • “ you really know how to get someone down”
  • “ everything was fine until you came around ”
  • “ i’ve been chasing after dreamers in the clouds ”
  • “ wasn’t i the one who said to keep your feet on the ground? ”
  • “ you really brought me back down ”
  • “ hold onto hope if you got it ”
  • “ don’t let it go for nobody ”
  • “ they say that dreaming is free ”
  • “ i wouldn’t care what it cost me ”
  • “ you got me tied up but i stay close to the window ”
  • “ i talk to myself about the places i used to go ”
  • “ i’m hoping someday maybe i’ll just float away ”
  • “ i’ll forget every cynical thing you said ”
  • “ when are you gonna hear me out? ”
  • “ you really bring me down ”
  • “ reality will break your heart ”
  • “ survival will not be the hardest part ”
  • “ keep all your hopes alive when all the rest of you has died ”
  • “ let it break your heart ”

I love you so, and I’ll always be here for you no matter what. Even though I am not the best comfort I will always comfort you. I will hold you for hours, no matter what time or weather. I will let you cry over my shoulder, I’ll bring you tissues and your favorite sad snack. I would do anything to make you feel better. I want to be there for you like you are for me.

Different Outfit Headcanons:

Yugi- Pastels. This Cute little bean would be so adorable in pastels and I would die. Like he can still have his bondage jewelry and leather, but it in pastels!!!! HIM AND RYOU COULD BE PASTEL BEST FRIENDS AND I WOULD DIE OF CUTENESS.  Also, I can see Yugi playing around with assorted styles in Japanese fashion. Not saying skirts or anything because I can’t see him wearing one cause of how bad he wants to be a man in the Manga, but I can see pumpkin pants and suspenders, or shirts with sayings on them that the sleeves cover his hands and lots of bangles and even pierces his ears on a dare from Joey, but likes it cause the Pharaoh had his ears pierced so why not?

Joey: See this boy I can see him wearing beach bum outfits, tank tops and shorts that are swim trunks, with flip flops and sunglasses. Him smelling like sunscreen and sweat cause he’s outside all the time walking everywhere or riding his bike along the beach. Or I imagine him in Leather jackets and tight jeans, calf tall boots and looking like a total punk, but being the sweetest guy you could possibly meet until you piss him off and he kicks your ass.

Atem: FASHION! If it’s in he is wearing it. He lets Yugi help pick out some stuff but mainly likes to try out current trends at least once before he decides if he is going to keep it but he knows for sure that one part of an outfit that he loves are the shoes and jackets. Not long and lengthy jackets, but mainly ones that stop right at the waist or ones that cut off right in the middle of the chest with just enough room for pockets. And in the winter, he has ever type and color of scarf imaginable and will also sport leather gloves to keep his hands warm so he can duel.

Seto Kaiba: slim fit suits of his favorite colors and design. Also, very high fashion silk ties and shirts, always matching and normally in cool colors, nothing to loud or neon. Very nice shoes that are always shined and complete every outfit. Though he will never give up his normal attire of long coats and dramatic flair. (Kaiba is hard for me cause I love his long coats and very showy style.)

Ryou Bakura: Just throw pastels at this child and let him be happy please!!! And lots and lots of sweaters!! He wouldn’t care what the weather would be outside, they make thin fabric sweaters for crying out loud he’s still going to wear one, he will push up the sleeves if he must. While he’s at it he can also throw on a bow tie to make his outfit more unique and fun, having very creative and funny ones to wear with whatever outfit he has.

Tea: I kind of want to see Tea dress like a dancer would. Not short skirts or anything. I want to see her in dance sweats, and cute tank tops, ready to bust a move whenever she can. Always having a cute hair tie on her wrist. Also, I’d like to see her in some sun dresses as well. With her haircut, they would look adorable on her!! And cute as shit eye shadow and lipsticks!!!

Tristan: Classic Greaser is all I think when I see Tristan. Like white shirts, tight jeans, boots and a leather jacket. Maybe him and Joey could start their own Greasers gang lol Then at the same time when he is going somewhere nice and needs to dress up he throws on a nice sweater vest and tie, dress pants and looks very handsome.

Rex Raptor: Skater Boi hands down. Scrapped up knees and ripped jeans. Either a hoodie on with a random dinosaur on it or some band name. fingers and face normally having band-aids on them from falling off his skate board. Vans and Converse are his shoe choice but odd and neat patterned ones with neon colors that don’t match his pants or shirt.

Weevil Underwood: Button up short sleeve shirts and shorts or pants. Very neutral clean colors with no patterns, unless if it is a shade of green. He has several different pairs of glasses as well book bags. He also wears tall socks with dress shoes and looks adorable. Black or colored suspenders also come to mind with this bug lover.  

Maximilion Pegasus: Dresses like a business man or someones dad. Sometimes a well-dressed man with his hair pulled back and out of his face, and the suits are in blacks or dark grey with bright colored ties and shirts. Other times he is in tan shorts with a Hawaiian shirt and sandals with long socks when he wants to be lazy, knowing that when Kaiba comes and sees him about business he will bitch about how dumb he looks and he finds it endearing.

Weight of Living, Pt. I

Pairing: Sebastian X Reader

Words: 700

Warnings: ANGST!!

Anon asked “Can you write a Sebastian x reader imagine where the reader goes to surprise Seb in Atlanta for filming and she waits in his trailer and he walks into his trailer and is kissing his costar or something like that??? I don’t condone cheating and I think anybody who does it is so low but I’ve been having that in my head all day and I love your writing.”

A/N: Part 2 of So Far. I have to say, even I cried in this part and I never actually cried when I was writing. Sorry guys! Let me know if you want to be tagged. There are 2 parts left.

Tagging: @cathvenger @themistsofmyavalon @mizzzpink @theassetseyeliner @yesixoxo @hollycornish

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Aesthetic Blog Rates

Hey everybody! So I just hit my next hundred, and I wanted to celebrate by doing something I haven’t done before: aesthetic blog rates!

all you gotta do is:
- be following this weirdo
- reblog this post
- send me an ask with a song/book/movie rec (or you can tell me about your day!)
- don’t let this flop pls?
- blacklist “bri does br” if you don’t want this up on your dash

*if you want me to rate a sideblog tell me in the ask!

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Paramore - Rose Colored Boy Lyrics

Low key, no pressure
Just hang with me and my weather
Low key, no pressure
Just hang with me and my weather

Rose colored boy
I hear you making all that noise about the world you want to see
And, oh, oh, I’m so annoyed
‘Cause I just killed off what was left of the optimist in me

And, ooh, ooh
I had to break it
The wars are raging on
And I have taken, ah, my glasses off
You got me nervous
I’m right at the end of my rope
A half empty girl
Don’t make me laugh, I’ll choke

Just let me cry a little bit longer
I ain’t gone smile if I don’t want to
Hey, man, we all can’t be like you
I wish we were all rose colored too
My rose colored boy

Low key, no pressure
Just hang with me and my weather

And I want you to stop insisting that I’m not a lost cause
'Cause I been through a lot
Really all I’ve got is just to stay pissed off
If it’s alright by you

(ooh)
I had to break it
(ooh)
The wars are raging on
(ooh)
And I have taken, ah, my glasses off
(ooh, ooh, ooh)
You got me nervous
(ooh)
And you’re turning it into a joke
A half empty girl
(ooh, ooh)
Don’t make me laugh, I’ll

Just let me cry a little bit longer
I ain’t gone smile if I don’t want to
Hey, man, we all can’t be like you
I wish we were all rose colored too
My rose colored boy

Hmm, ooh, ooh, ooh

Leave me here a little bit longer
I think I want to stay in the car
I don’t want anybody seeing me cry now
You say we gotta look on the bright side
I say, well, maybe if you want to go blind
You say my eyes are getting too dark now
Boy, you ain’t ever seen my mind

Just let me cry a little bit longer
I ain’t gone smile if I don’t want to
Hey, man, we all can’t be like you
I wish we were all rose colored too
My rose colored boy

Just let me cry a little bit longer
I ain’t gone smile if I don’t want to
I know we all can’t be like you
I wish we were all rose colored too
My rose colored boy

Low key, no pressure
Just hang with me and my weather
Low key, no pressure
Just hang with me and my weather

tania-grey  asked:

Do you or other aspies/autists ever get called/are considered pushy weather you/they realize it or not? If yes, do you ever try to explain yourself but realize they think you are just making excuses and you feel like you're making excuses when all you are trying to do is explain yourself? If yes to both, does it sometimes make you feel horrible, like you wanna cry cuz you wanna explain but you cant because they will think ur nothing but an excuse making idiot? Cuz thats me tonight & I hate it.

I have two sides. Completely passive and don’t want to say anything or need to control every single thing in my life and yours. There’s no in between. And yes this happens regularly. You are not alone. I watched a TV show the other night that explained this so well. “Why would I want to go to a concert? I can’t turn the music off when I’m done listening to, I don’t get to play the songs in the order I want and if the band HAPPENS to play the ONE song that I like, will they play if fifty more times after that? I think not.” It’s wanting to be able to plan and stick with routines and moreso for me, being able to mentally prepare for a task ahead. And yes, so much of the time people get angry or frustrated, but no matter how I try to explain it, they can’t see or feel what I do. I suppose I don’t articulate it well, but even when I feel like I am being very blunt and direct, they still don’t seem to get it. And tonight I’m kind of feeling the same way too so don’t worry you aren’t alone. 😑

“Admit it. You aren’t like them. You’re not even close. You may occasionally dress yourself up as one of them, watch the same mindless television shows as they do, maybe even eat the same fast food sometimes. But it seems that the more you try to fit in, the more you feel like an outsider, watching the “normal people” as they go about their automatic existences. For every time you say club passwords like “Have a nice day” and “Weather’s awful today, eh?”, you yearn inside to say forbidden things like “Tell me something that makes you cry” or “What do you think deja vu is for?”. Face it, you even want to talk to that girl in the elevator. But what if that girl in the elevator (and the balding man who walks past your cubicle at work) are thinking the same thing? Who knows what you might learn from taking a chance on conversation with a stranger? Everyone carries a piece of the puzzle. Nobody comes into your life by mere coincidence. Trust your instincts. Do the unexpected. Find the others…”

― Timothy Leary

[Photo ©: rustic-bones on Tumblr.]

Admit it. You aren’t like them. You’re not even close. You may occasionally dress yourself up as one of them, watch the same mindless television shows as they do, maybe even eat the same fast food sometimes. But it seems that the more you try to fit in, the more you feel like an outsider, watching the “normal people” as they go about their automatic existences. For every time you say club passwords like “Have a nice day” and “Weather’s awful today, eh?”, you yearn inside to say forbidden things like “Tell me something that makes you cry” or “What do you think deja vu is for?”. Face it, you even want to talk to that girl in the elevator. But what if that girl in the elevator (and the balding man who walks past your cubicle at work) are thinking the same thing? Who knows what you might learn from taking a chance on conversation with a stranger? Everyone carries a piece of the puzzle. Nobody comes into your life by mere coincidence. Trust your instincts. Do the unexpected. Find the others…
—  Timothy Leary
Big Brother Gyujin

Originally posted by sarangjaejoongfan

  • most caring brother ever
  • when you were a baby, he was basically like a dad. he always wants to carry you around and play with you
  • he’ll always play with you even when you get older
  • won’t judge you for anything because hey, he’s got some weird stuff going on too
  • when Pokemon Go came out, you bet your ass that he’ll drag you outside (no matter the weather)
  • when there’s that last piece of food that both of you wants, he’ll let you have it. (aww, sweet bro)
  • you can’t resist his pout so you end up sharing 
  • will be proud of you no matter what
  • head over heels for watching cartoons
  • he’ll make time to spend with you even though he’s really busy
  • “hey, can you pass me that?”
  • big bro… you can reach it if you stretch your arm…
  • who’s the older sibling again? right, i am.”
  • if you do something sweet just for him, he’ll cry
  • yup. he’ll cry, be giddy, hug you, and ruffle your hair
  • big brother everybody wants to have
friday friday friday friday

+I am going to go stand in line tomorrow at the Hirshhorn to try to get walk-up passes to see Infinity Mirrors

+No class/homework this weekend or next

-Every single goddamned time some motherfucker wants to do a driveby and I’m not here and either FUCKING WAITS or leaves word with a coworker that they need something, I want to email them a gif of Jerry Maguire screaming “SEND. ME. AN. EMAIL!” instead of “show me the money.”

-this weather is garbage

+I’ll be in San Diego in a little over two weeks, for one week, and I’ll make it back just in time for a Jennifer Knapp show at Jammin’ Java for which I already purchased tickets.

-I have not yet arranged a cat sitter

+Ichabod made it through his teeth cleaning (ie full anesthesia) just fine with no extractions

-if it really costs $600 I will cry

-/+ I haven’t done any work all day. I mean. I haven’t done MUCH work. I am not interested.

When you get this, share five little known facts about you and tag five people you want to get to know better! 

Tagged by: @burningxsage
Tagging: @psychetelos @xcosmicdiving @mudaimasque @shooting-star-bou @yuujibaba

1) The sound of rain makes me anxious in most cases. Somehow, the worst memories has always been connected to rain. it’s a perfect cry weather for me.
2) I have never cancelled any show by myself. I find it as a betrayal towards my fans, I would rather die on stage than let anyone cancel my show people waited so long for.
3) Sometimes I am very moody. It mostly affects people who work with me.
4) I can go on days without eating or being hungry. My stomach is also very sensitive.
5) I wanted to give up on music twice in my life.

HARD TIMES
GONNA MAKE YOU WONDER WHY YOU EVEN TRY
HARD TIMES
GONNA TAKE YOU DOWN AND LAUGH WHEN YOU CRY

LOW-KEY
NO PRESSURE
JUST HANG WITH ME AND MY WEATHER

JUST LET ME CRY
A LITTLE BIT LONGER
I AIN’T GON’ SMILE
IF I DON’T WANT TO

FOR ALL I KNOW
THE BEST IS OVER AND THE WORST IS YET TO COME

DON’T YOU GO AND GET IT TWISTED
FORGIVING IS NOT FORGETTING

OH PLEASE
JUST DON’T ASK ME HOW I’VE BEEN
DON’T MAKE ME PLAY PRETEND

HOLD ONTO HOPE
IF YOU GOT IT
DON’T LET IT GO
FOR NOBODY

NEVER FOUND THE DEEP END
OF OUR LITTLE OCEAN
DRAIN THE FANTASY OF YOU
HEADFIRST
INTO
SHALLOW
POOLS

ARE YOU RECOUNTING ALL MY FAULTS
AND ARE YOU RACKING YOUR BRAIN JUST TO FIND THEM ALL
COULD IT BE THAT I’VE CHANGED OR DID YOU

I CAN’T THINK OF GETTING OLD
IT ONLY MAKES ME WANT TO DIE
AND I CAN’T THINK OF WHO I WAS
‘CAUSE IT JUST MAKES ME WANT TO CRY CRY CRY

NO I DON’T NEED NO HELP
I CAN SABOTAGE ME BY MYSELF
DON’T NEED NO ONE ELSE
I CAN SABOTAGE ME BY MYSELF

REMEMBER HOW WE USED TO LIKE OURSELVES

I SEE MYSELF IN THE REFLECTION OF PEOPLE’S EYES
REALIZING WHAT THEY SEE MAY NOT BE EVEN CLOSE TO THE IMAGE I SEE IN MYSELF

TELL ME HOW TO FEEL ABOUT YOU NOW
TELL ME HOW TO FEEL ABOUT YOU NOW
OH LET ME KNOW
DO I SUFFOCATE OR LET GO

Warriors of Hope Diaries (transcript)

For characterization purposes, I transcribed the childrens’ diaries from the English version of Another Episode. Under the read more, are the following files, found in the game in Chapter 5:

“It’s my fault” - Masaru Daimon

“My Invention” - Jataro(u) Kemuri

“What Makes Me Cry The Most” - Kotoko Utsugi

“There’s no way I can let him be disappointed” - Nagisa Shingetsu

“Not A Fairy Tale” - Monaka/Monaca Towa

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My Whole World

Can you do one where you’re dating Oli Sykes and it’s you’re birthday and you’re at your parents house and he proposes to you?  

//
 
“Um no, that’s alright baby, you tried.” I said into the phone while I fought back the tears. “I’m so sorry, love. I’m so upset, I just can’t get the ticket.” Oli said sadly, I could hear the disappointment in his voice. So, here is the problem, Oliver is Miami and I am in California with my parents. It’s my birthday tomorrow, he promise he would be here but the weather up North is too horrible for any planes to come in.  "I’ll be there as soon as I can love, I’m trying so hard. I’m so sorry. I love you.“ "I-I love you too.” My voice cracked as I quickly hung up the phone, It wasn’t his fault and I didn’t want him feeling bad. I just haven’t seen him in so months because of his tour and I missed him terribly. “Sweetie, what’s wrong?” My mom asked as she pulled me into a hug. “Oli.. he can’t make it. The w-weather..” I cried. “He’ll be here soon pretty girl. Don’t cry!” She assured as she squeezed me. “I’m going to bed.” I whispered as I trudged down the hall to my old bedroom. 
 
A few hours later I felt the bed dip causing me to jump off the bed in seconds and scream. “DAD!” I yelled for help. “Baby! Shhh..” Oli’s sweet voice calmed me as he jumped up and wrapped his arms around me. “Oli!” I squealed pulling him closer like he would disappear if I didn’t. He took a deep breath breathing me in,  "I missed you so much.“ "I missed you too. I thought you weren’t coming!” I whisper yelled hoping that my parents wouldn’t barge in from my screaming. “The airport got clearing a few hours ago.” He smiled but when he took my face in, his smile fell. “You’ve been crying..” He whispered, cupping my cheek. “I was really disappointed, I wanted you here so bad..” I sniffled. “Baby, I’m here, you’re okay and your birthday is in a few hours. Tomorrow will be amazing, I have so much planned for us.” He whispered pulling me closer to him. He picked me up in his arms and layed us gently on the bed, warm under the covers. I fell asleep quickly, feeling safe and happy in his arms once again.  
 
“Princess.. wake up.” A voice whispered as soft kisses were trailed up my neck. I snuggled up closer to Oliver not wanting to ever move from my spot. “Happy birthday!” He chuckled as I groaned, I’ve never been fond of birthdays. “Come on, it’s time to get up.” He said lifting me off the bed in his arms. I giggled as he spun us around and kissed my forehead. He walked toward the bathroom and shut and  locked the door once we were inside. “What are you doing?” I laughed as he sat me on my feet. “Giving you your first present of the day.” He smirked and turned on the shower before quickly getting me out of my clothes. “You’re so beautiful.” He whispered as he locked his lips with mine.  
 
Once we finally made it out of the shower and got dressed we went downstairs to my parents who were so excited to see Oliver by my side, holding my hand. As soon as my mom saw him she was on her feet and squeezing him in a hug. “OLI! You made it!” She smiled and turned to me. “Happy birthday, sweetheart!” She said engulfing me in a hug.  "Thank you, mom.“ I giggled as my dad wished me the same. "You guys need to hurry! You’re going to be late!” My mom said pushing us towards the door. “Late for what?” I questioned, looking up at Oli. “It’s a surprise!” He chuckled as we walked down the driveway to his rental car.  
 
“Be careful!” Oli laughed as I stumbled getting into the small boat. “Where at we gooooing?” I pressed. “It’s a surprise, just enjoy the ride!” He winked and I sat down behind him and watched him start the small boat and guide it through the clear blue water. I took in the beautiful and perfect day as we sped through the water. Then I took in the perfect man that was sitting in front of me, Oli has always been there for me, through the best and the worst moments of our relationship. He always tried his hardest and I loved him more than I could ever begin to describe. “Hello? Earth to Y/N.” Oli chucked as he waved his hand in front of my face. As I snapped back to reality I blushed quickly before I saw the beautiful island in front of me. My jaw all but hit the floor as my eyes grew wide. “It’s prettier when you actually go into it.” Oli teased as he took my hand helping me out onto the soft sand. I followed him into the tree’s before we got to a big open clearing with a cute little house in the middle. “So this is all ours for the next 2 days.” He said smiling at me before leading me up the stairs and through the door. “Woah..” I said in awe as I looked around the house. It wasn’t too small but it wasn’t too big. The furniture was almost all white and a soft cream color but the color in the decorations made it feel like a beach house. I was lost in the beauty of the house before Oli picked me up in his arms quickly and whispered in my ear, “You haven’t seen the best part yet.” He lead us out the back door to where we had a perfect view of the water and a large area was layed out with blankets and pillows. “I have a lot planned for us.” He smiled. “I can see that. I can’t believe you went to all this trouble for me. This is amazing.” I said locking my lips with his, sharing a sweet and passionate kiss. “I love you so much.” I whispered, resting my forehead on his. “I love you too, my angel." 
 
Our day was beyond amazing. Filled with swimming in the perfect water, eating lunch on the beach, cuddling and watching a movie, a romantic dinner on the end of the pier, and now we lay in each others arms on the blankets and watched the sunset. "Take a walk with me?” Oli said softly. I nodded my head and smiled, standing up with him. We walked around the island while watching the beautiful pink and orange sky before he stopped and stood in front of me, cupping my cheeks in his hands. “I’ve never felt like this about anyone. I never thought that I was even capable of feeling love like this until I met you. You are my whole entire world and I don’t ever want to be without you. I can’t imagine my life without you and I don’t want to. You are the most amazing and the most beautiful person in the world. You are the light of my life and my motivation to wake up every morning and my motivation to be a better person. You’ve changed my life for the better and I could never thank you enough for that. But I promise that I’ll always be here to take care of you and give you all the love you deserve.” He said so tenderly, I could see through my tears that he meant every word. He slowly got down on one knee and pulled out a box from his pocket. He opened the dark grey box and revealed the most beautiful diamond ring I had ever seen, the large square diamond in the middle was lined with black diamonds that shined even in the dim sunset. “Will you please do me the honor and marry me?” He said as a tear went down his cheek. “Yes..” I said crying softly. He slid the ring on my finger and pulled me into a tight hug before kissing me so passionately that I would’ve fallen if he hadn’t been holding me up. “Forever, baby.” He whispered.  

“Do it so the boys notice.”

Yesterday, my boyfriend and best friend of four years broke up with me because he cannot stand to watch me destroy myself and abuse my body any longer.  The man who wanted to marry me weathered four years of crying, fighting, and apologies.  He held me when I cried, held my hair while I purged, held my hand while I writhed on the ground from the pain of laxative abuse, held himself together while I binged and starved and fainted and struggled.  There is nothing left between us but sadness over things that cannot change.  My sickness beat the shit out of both of us.

An eating disorder won’t just make boys notice you.  It will make them run from you to save themselves in whatever way they can, because you reek of death and poison.  It will terrify, enrage, and bring them to their knees.  It will inflict the heaviest despair and evoke the sharpest pain they have ever experienced as it desecrates what was once a beautiful, perfect relationship.

My boyfriend was attracted to my laughter, not my ribcage.  He cherished my smile, not my trembling hands and brittle hair.  He loved me because I was Emily, not because I was sick, and don’t you dare try and tell me that the boy you want to notice you would be any different.

4

i’ve spent the last two hours or so perusing the internet for apartment inspo. i even gave pinterest a look which i never do. i find it to be unorganized and frustrating but it did give me a few ideas in the five minutes i was able to bring myself to tolerate it. we’ve been in our new place for a few months now and i’ve gotten a few decorative things here and there but for the most part our place is pretty bare. i’d like for every room to be mostly white and black which hints of blue. i purchased a cool little burlap rug with a navy yarn pattern for the kitchen when we first moved in which my kitten cat and i really like so i’ve kind of used that as a starting point. of course my cat really only likes it to lay but i find it aesthetically pleasing and i think that it has just enough of a bohemian feel to keep a mostly white heavy space from becoming to modern and futuristic. i collected a few photos (that are not mine) for some bedroom inspo because this is where i intend to start most of the decorating. which is a bit selfish on my part because the bedroom is where i spend almost all my time when i am home so i want for it to be complete first. its ok to be a little selfish sometimes. number one on my list is a white linen duvet set which i conveniently have ready and waiting in my online shopping cart for when pay day rolls around. i feel like a couple of metallic silver faux leather and white faux fur cushions are in order to bulk things up and make it feel extra cozy. i also just want to surround myself with leather and fur. i’m lusting after a clear chair for my desk. i like clear furniture pieces because they give the illusion of more space which is crucial in my small(ish) apartment. i have a diy project in my head to revamp my vintage dresser but this weather has me crying so that might just have to wait. an abundance of glass and paper lanterns and baby plant friends would finish everything off so nicely. i think i’m drooling.

hot date

Anon: Dan Howell smut where you are coming home from being out with friends and Dan has been teasing you all night :) and you finally make him “pay”. Thanks :)

Might make a part two, but for now, here you go! -Miranda

Oh and outfit <——-

“Dan, come on we’re late!” I yell up the stairs to my always late, procrastinating boyfriend. I loved him to death, but he could not be on time to save his life.

Dan invited me to some fancy restaurant somewhere in downtown to meet some of his YouTube friends. The only one I’ve met before was Phil, and to be quiet honest, I was scared shitless. I wanted to impress them in anyway possible, and already being late didn’t help my case.

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I woke up at 6am, laid in bed for a while and thought about things. It’s been raining all morning which is so nice, the rain makes me miss winter, my mood definitely depends on the weather. I made coffee and spilt it all over the kitchen bench and floor twice, I get so angry when things don’t work out in the morning and I cried whilst cleaning it up (I’m such a cry baby, especially if my morning goes wrong). We ran out of almond milk and I burnt my foot. Now I’m reading my book and wishing I was where I want to be