I am the anon who was requested to speak of their experience leaving Larrie fandom.
I meant it when I said I had a nervous breakdown when Briana got pregnant. It was a Tuesday and I spent the rest of the week sobbing and unable to function at work. I had to lie to my boss and say I was having personal issues with family. I deleted my blog the day Louis talked about the pregnancy on GMA and unfollowed the whole band and everyone connected to them on social media, deleted their music from my iTunes, cut off ties with all tumblr friends. I went into a depression, and a deep rage, against “management”, against Simon, against Briana, against The Enemy. I did my best to avoid all 1D news. But my mom told me when Freddie was born and when I saw the birth certificate, it’s almost like I snapped out of my fog and realized it was real. Freddie was a real baby and Louis was the father and Briana was the mother and everything I had thought for years was a lie.
I spent most of 2016 feeling so fucking stupid for having fallen for Larry. I never interacted with any of the family members or friends or girlfriends on social media, so I considered myself “a good Larrie”. But I also reblogged from Amy, Kati, Lisa, Verily, Emma. I told people about the Treatise and made people read it. I was complicit in the harassment, and did nothing to attempt to stop it. For me, I was more ashamed of my silence in the face of the harassment than the shame pf having been a Larrie. I considered myself a good person, but realizing I watched silently while these “saviors” destroyed these people’s lives, I wasn’t actually a good person at all.
I started getting back into fandom when the TV commercial for Harry’s single aired on television. I went to the blogs I used to follow and saw the hatred, the fear, the distrust, the suspicion. So I went to a few of the “anti” blogs I could remember, and saw excitement, and happiness and joy. I HATED antis as a Larrie. Loathed. But I knew if I got back into fandom, I could not be miserable. So a couple times a week, I would check in on anti blogs and see the happiness and excitement, and started enjoying 1D again.
I don’t have advice for ex-Larries. Leaving Larry is fucking scary. 2015 was such a terrible, horrible, miserable time in fandom. Seeing that so many of the main players in Larrie are still around does not surprise me. Their faux outrage to get notes, their drive for attention and validation. They do not believe a word they are spewing, I think. They are in too deep and have to keep up the facade of Good Larrie to keep the attention, the adoration, the love. The number of notes have decreased dramatically, but they are still getting the attention they want so they are still around.
Larry is not real life. I think if I had gone from Larrie to anti and continued blogging, I would still be emotionally connected to the band, just in a different way. Completing cutting myself off helped me remember there is life outside of fandom, outside of 1D. A complete detox is needed for Larries for them to a) reconcile their actions and b) be able to enjoy fandom in a healthy way. So much of the strong reaction being had by smaller Larries who still believe, is because they live eat breathe Larry. They have nothing else. When they discover other hobbies, activities, interests that are ENJOYABLE, letting go of Larry becomes infinitely easier.
Thank you for submitting your story anon.