this was the orginal

  • Jason: Talk to him, that's what friends do.
  • Nico: Nope. I'm gonna wait 'til I'm on my deathbed, get in the last word and then die immediately.
  • Jason: That's your plan for dealing with this?
  • Nico: That's my plan for dealing with everything. I have seventy-seven arguments I'm going to win that way.
If You're Hungry Shut up And Go Get Some Food

If you’re moody
Go on a walk
Listen to some music

If you’re tired
Scream at the top of your lungs
Rub the back of your head nervously

If you’re anxious
Hyperventilate until you collapse
Then take a nap

If you’re angry
Remember why you’re angry
And whose not responsible

If you’re cold
Put on a sweater on

If you’re hot
Take your clothes off

If you’re restless
Have a seizure
Write a symphony
Start a fire

If you’re sad
Write some poetry

If you’re bitter
Add skim milk and artificial sweetener

If you’re confused
Act cool
And just pretend you know what you’re talking about

If you’re dying in a hospital
Flip off the doctor
And smile

If you’re dying in the street
Crawl into the gutter

If you’re fading away
Become the dust
Whatever

If you’re frustrated
Break some glass
Pay for the damages

If you’re embarrassed
Laugh at yourself

If you’re pale
Own it

If you’re broken
We can talk all night