this was the only thing going through my mind

-YJH and DK are roommates

-They wore couple sweater to airport today 

-YJH has stickers of dk on his phone

-Dk has selfie of him and YJH as a wallpaper on his phone

-DK said that “they are dating” on caratland concert…………..


i bet they are dating.

Take Me || Stiles S.

Word Count: 4,133ish

Warning: Rough smut,😉

Prompt: Hi! I was wondering if you could do a Stiles smut where the reader and Stiles are like, lab partners or something, and Stiles has been mumbling really dirty stuff to you for weeks, and you finally tell him to do something, and then it’s really hard and rough. Thanks so much!! 

You’re my first request and my love for you extends wayyyy past the galaxy. You are the best beautiful! I hope this is what you wanted and I didn’t know if you wanted to be tagged. If not, let me know:) @pick-the-petalst

A/N: Also, just wanted to thank everyone for 130 followers! It might not be much to anyone else, but I didn’t think I’d even have 1 so I am more than grateful! You all are magnificent beauties and I hope you all have an extraordinary day. Much love 💕

(Gifs are not mine)


Monday

“Those jeans are looking extra tight today.” His lips grazed the outer shell of your ear as his hand slid onto your thigh. “Definitely makes me wonder what they would look like on the floor of my bedroom.”

Your breath caught in your throat. Yes, this had been going on for weeks now but it always affected you. Stiles had become your lab partner at the beginning of the semester and at first, you thought that it might actually go well. He seemed like a smart kid and even though Harris liked to torment him about failing his class, Stiles didn’t seem to be having any trouble.

All that went downhill about two days into your partnership. 

You had just arrived into class wearing a new skirt that you had recently bought over the weekend. It was black and faux leather. You knew that it was a little short, but it wasn’t too bad that you thought people would notice.

Stiles did.

The second you sat down in your seat he was leaning over to you. “Damn, I didn’t know you could get any hotter babe.”

“Excuse me?” You questioned raising your eyebrow at him.

“Oh, Princess, we can excuse ourselves right now and I can show you just how a man treats a lady.” He whispered against the side of your cheek.

You had always thought that Stiles was hot. Hell, he was super sexy, especially when he would wear his baseball cap flipped backward and his unlimited amount of flannels. But, right now, you didn’t know whether to be turned on, flattered, or appalled.

You turned your face to glare at him, but he was already giving you the once-over with his eyes.

You didn’t want it to be, but unfortunately, your teenage hormones got the best of you and heat rose to your cheeks.

“We have never spoken one word to each other and that’s what you start with?” You questioned hoping that he wouldn’t notice the redness that was dawning on your face.

But he did. Of course, he did.

Slowly, a grin curled onto the side of his thin pink lips. His eyes raked the length of your body at an agonizingly sluggish pace causing you to squirm in your seat. He took notice in that too because as he met your eyes a smirk was slipped on his mouth.

“All those dirty little thoughts that are going through that pretty little head of yours could be a reality. Just say the word and I’ll take you on this desk right now.” His eyes shined with pure honesty in his words and suddenly the room was the temperature of the sun. Heat crawled down your neck, past your heavy breasts, through the tingling sensation in your belly, and made its home in your core. The wetness already seemed to be dampening your panties.

As if he would smell your arousal, he leaned in closer. “Say the word Babygirl.”

You couldn’t speak. You couldn’t even move afraid that a moan would slip from your lips. How did this man have so much power of you with just words?

“Stilinski! Attention to the front! Please don’t bother miss L/N.” Harris yelled breaking Stiles’s intense stare he had on you. 

As his eyes left you, you took in a deep breath.

“Yes sir, wouldn’t dream of bothering her.” 

But that is exactly what he had in mind. He wanted her all bothered. Hot and bothered and wriggling underneath him while moaning his name.

You tried not to look at him, but curiosity got the best of you and you peeked at him. He was already staring at you, but this gave him the chance to rile you up some more.

He sent you a wink right as the bell rang.

Now, weeks later it has been a constant one-sided flirtation with a huge dose of lust sprinkled in every sentence that flowed from his amazingly beautiful mouth.

Not that you thought his mouth was beautiful, or that it could do beautifully dirty things as it scrapped the inside of your thighs. No, you had never thought of that.

Let’s all be honest with each other, it wasn’t a normal Monday if that thought didn’t go through your head at least twice.

Today, was no different. 

“Those jeans are looking extra tight today.” His lips grazed the outer shell of your ear as his hand slid onto your thigh. “Definitely makes me wonder what they would look like on the floor of my bedroom.”

“It definitely makes me wonder when you’re going to shut your mouth.” You muttered knowing that he could hear you as you continued to finish your chemistry worksheet.

“Sweetheart, is that the only thing you want my mouth to do?” It was as if he had read your mind and your pencil halted in writing the sentence it was currently on.

Keep reading

Anastasia  {Sentence Starters}

  • “It’s a perfect ending.”
  • “Men are such babies.”
  • “We’re going to a party!”
  • “How will we get through this?”
  • “Don’t turn back now that we’re here.”
  • “Years of dreams just can’t be wrong!”
  • “And to think, that could have been you.”
  • “Say your prayers! No one can save you!”
  • “Stop it! From the very beginning, you lied!”
  • “Will you please remove him from my sight?”
  • “That, uh, that dress looks really good on you.”
  • “And the nightmare I had was as bad as can be.”
  • “If we live through this, remind me to thank you.”
  • “Change of mind? It was more a change of heart.”
  • “It’s just that you look an awful lot like… never mind.”
  • “Then I opened my eyes and the nightmare was me.”
  • “Please don’t talk anymore. It’s only going to upset me.”
  • “Thank goodness for the gossip that gets us through the day!”
  • “Things my heart used to know, things it yearns to remember…”
  • “Do you really think I’m royalty? Then stop bossing me around!”
  • “You’re a very good actress, best yet in fact. But I’ve had enough.”
  • “I’d give her a HA! And a HI-YA! And then a OOH-WAH! And I’d kick her.”
  • “Oh, sorry!! I thought you were someone el - oh, it’s you. Well, that’s okay, then.”
  • “What? Hey - why are you circling me? What, were you a vulture in another life?”
  • “Ooh, I could teach you the latest dance step. It starts with, like, a ‘whoa’. And then you get really crazy with the hips!”

I have just finished binge watching “13 Reasons Why” and if you have no idea what I am talking about, this post might not make much sense to you. So, if you have not, I highly recommend you stop everything that you are doing and go watch the series for yourself. 

If you have, then here we are. We have both witnessed what was waiting at the end of tape number thirteen. Some of you may not agree with or like the outcome that the show brought, and some of you will. I am not here to dispute any of your feelings.

I am here to say this: Hannah Baker is so important. Not because she is the main character of the show. No, it’s something much deeper than that. Unless you have been placed in the same pair of treacherous shoes that you are forced to walk day in and day out, you might not understand where I am coming from.

I am not here to talk about the tapes, and I am not here to discuss whether her actions were right or wrong. I am here to talk about Hannah Baker’s last day on earth. 

As I watched “Tape 7, Side A” I could feel my stomach churn with every flashback of her final moments in Crestmont. I could feel my heart break with her vocalized hope of “giving life one more chance,” even though it was still causing her pain on the inside.

When she sought out the one person who was supposed to be able to provide answers, pushing through the torture of speaking the honest truth and praying for that person to take the reins and bring everything to a pause only for them to make her feel worse than she did going into the conversation. How she stood outside the door, hoping that someone would come after her and take control of the situation but they never did.

How she straightens up her room so she is no longer an inconvenience to her family whom she does not want to upset anymore. When looking in the mirror for the last time and not being about to cry because her body is exhausted from fighting against the storm, having no reaction or attachment to the image staring back. Holding the razor blade in between her fingertips and knowing what she is doing is wrong, but having it be the only option left because every other cry for help has been silenced or overlooked.

And last but not least, the silence that she has been desperately longing for but hating at the same time, filling the room once she has made the deep cuts to her veins.

This episode isn’t fiction. You should consider it a biography. While the people go about their lives living just another day, I have experienced this side of Hannah’s tape far too many times to keep count. Feeling completely numb inside because you already prepared yourself for no one to do a goddamn thing to truly help you, all while mentally scolding yourself for even entertaining the idea of a “chance” in the first place.

Hannah Baker is important because she is just like me. She’s the girl who’s place I’ve stood several times in my life. She’s the girl that I identify with way too much still to this day. When I first watched this scene, I couldn’t breathe. I was nauseous and wanted to skip ahead, but something in my head told me no. That I couldn’t because this was what the twelve episodes before had led up to.

For someone who has previously attempted suicide, I think the show did an incredible job of capturing the final moments of someone’s life and bringing awareness. It’s almost refreshing because, for a very long time, there has been nothing that deals with suicide, rape, etc. blow up in such a “trending” way. The show does not make the situation more light-hearted by having the person be rescued five seconds after making their final decision.  

It was raw.  It was real.

I once publicly posted about my decision to check myself into a mental hospital to seek help for my high-depression after almost driving myself off the interstate and nearly slitting my wrist open all in one night. And I desperately wish I could say it was a success story and I’ve never thought about harming myself again. The truth is, the people who worked at the facility never followed up, and when I personally called seeking more information and help, they never returned my phone calls. The truth is there is not a day that goes by that I do not think about it once. I don’t think it’s something that ever really goes away. 

But I think the worst part about the situation was that many people in my close circle knew from gossiping lips and had the “bless her heart” effect. No one wanted to talk about it. No one asked questions. They just accepted the fact that I wanted to end my life and went on about their business. It seemed like these people in my circle truly believed that talking about suicide would make it happen. And that they were here for me, but only at arms’ length.

This post is not meant to scare you away from viewing the show. It’s not meant for you to have negative thoughts about it either. The show has many layers, Hannah’s suicide just being one of them. There are backstories and evolving characters that guide you through an eye-opening journey through discovering the truth. A real life look into some of the issues throughout schools across the world, and how little things can still have a tremendous effect on someone.

The show is meant to educate. To call for action before something like this happens again. To stop the only efforts for change being posters that say “don’t kill yourself” and start an actual and purposeful conversation. Suicide is such a taboo subject, yet it is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States. Every day, approximately 105 people take their own life. Every thirteen minutes, someone chooses Hannah Baker’s ending.

Over the past few days since the release of the series, there have been many posts in the media claiming that “13 Reasons Why” romanticized suicide and that Hannah Baker is a selfish, self-centered teenager. And sure, people have every right to think that. But through my countless hours scrolling through the tags on social media platforms, it’s comforting knowing that I am not the only mentally-ill person who gives this show a thumbs up.

I guess my plea here is simple. Do not go into the show with preconceived notions that this show is “messed up” and unrealistic. Be aware of trigger warnings at the beginning of episodes and make a judgment call on whether or not you personally can handle a scene. Please keep in mind this scene is how it sometimes goes for some people and is important to some. 

And the last thing on my soapbox, there are so many Hannah Baker’s in the world who need your compassion more than your urgency to get finished with the conversation so that you are able to move on. Don’t be afraid to talk about suicide. You never know who is needing you to speak up the most. 

The Letter

‘If your reading this I must be dead.
Sounds so real when I actually write it like that, it’s a possibility after all. I mean this is a war. People die all the time and I guess it was my time and I’m gone.
If I’m not and you guys find this then stop reading.
There’s some things that are just rude and you should know not to go through people’s stuff.
I’m talking about you Pidge.
So if your still reading this…
I’m dead or your an ass hole (Keith).
So let’s start I guess.
I lance McLain being of sound mind and body write my last will and testament.

To Hunk. What could I possibly leave you that could even come close to repaying all you’ve done for me over the years? For all those times you talked me down at the Garrison and made sure I didn’t spend too much time alone with only my thoughts. I love buddy so I leave you my family. If I’m gone I need them to know what happened. I need them to know I did something with my life, that I made a difference.
To Pidge you little gremlin, I leave you the tree house I built in my backyard. I know you pretend to hate outdoors, but I’ve seen how you love to watch the trees, figured you’d appreciate getting one of your own and being able to connect to the wifi.
To Shiro. You were my hero, when I wanted to apply to Garrison everyone told me I couldn’t do it. That I was too stupid or too much of a screw up to make anything of myself. Watching you on the news actually go against the odds and become the youngest graduate ever… well it kept the dream alive and got me through some pretty dark times. To you I leave my sketch book. It’s filled with drawings of earth. Drawing really helped ground me when I felt too anxious to sleep, I’m sure you know what that’s like. I’m pretty sure I’m the only one that actually hears you wandering the halls late at night. I hope that drawing can help you as much as it did me.
To Allura… look I know I flirted with you a lot, I’m sorry for that… I know I must sounded like such an idiot and a creep. I’m sorry I wasn’t a better paladin or friend. I leave you all my beauty products. That may sound like I only value your looks but I respect you so much for all you’ve done trying to fight this war with only the six of us as back up. I guess I’m trying to ask you to have a treat now and again, take as good a care of yourself as you do with us .
To Coran, your probably one of the biggest reasons I didn’t end up wallowing in self pity the whole time I was here. I don’t really remember my dad. He left when I was too young to remember him. But the time I spent with you made me feel like I knew what a dad was and I love you for that. I leave you the box under my bed. I filled it with memorabilia from all the good times we all spent together. Please keep adding to it and keep having good times without me.
Finally to Keith. Bet you thought I’d forgotten about you, hey Mullet? I’m not really sure what to write. We’ve been through so much together that I just don’t have the words to tell you how I feel. I just wish I had the courage to tell you that I really care about you while I was still around. Tell you that I love you. Wow that was scary to write. But getting it out and knowing that some point in the future you’ll know this is oddly liberating, like a weights been lifted off my shoulders. So yeah Mullet I love you. I love you so much that it hurts knowing that no matter what I do, I’ll never be good enough for you. You deserve the best, you deserve the universe… because that’s what you are to me. To you I leave you the most important thing to me. Blue. I love her dearly and I know she’s gonna be sad without me, so please keep her company. She likes songs from Mama Mia and having her claws painted, I know you know will get on great.
Wow I didn’t expect to start crying while I wrote this. Putting it all in words is hard. It’s beyond hard knowing that there’s a possibility that one day I’ll be gone and you’ll just move on. That someone else will pilot Blue and take over as a paladin for me.
I just wish that our time together would never end and I would never have to say goodbye to any of you.
But despite what you guys think, I’m not an idiot. I know I’m the weakest link and that if anyone’s gonna end up dying in the line the duty it will probably end up being me.
I suppose that doesn’t matter anymore.
What matters is that you all know that your like a second family to me and that I love you all so, so much.
Goodbye.
-Lance xxx’

—————————————-

Lance put down the pen wiping his teary eyes as he read through what he had written. He had just gotten out of the healing pod after being shot in the chest by a Glara guard during a mission gone bad.
Coming that close to death made him realise that he didn’t want to just go without knowing the people he loved knew how much he cared about.

There was a soft knocking at the door “hey Lance dinners ready” Hunk called.
“Be there in a minuet.” Lance replied folding the page and hiding the letter under his bed resting on top of his memory box. He opened the door and smiled at Hunk who took in his puffy red eyes and didn’t hesitate to give the smaller paladin a hug. “Homesick bud?”
Lance chuckled glancing back at the letter “yeah… something like that.”

Okay, so I wrote another thing (I’ve been writing things, guys) and I’m happy with how it came out. Granted, there are going to be mistakes but this is just something that I thought would help exit me from my bad mood. And it did!

We’ve been talking about Tony in yoga pants and crop tops because how can we not? And @thegoldenavenger drew this incredibly piece  and I’ve been screaming ever since. So please enjoy pining!Steve and him not handling how wonderful Tony looks in crop tops and yoga pants. 


If there could only be one thing said about Tony Stark, it would be that he was spontaneous. No one knew what was running through that mind of his and it was difficult to predict what he would do next.

Most people liked to think to Tony only enjoyed one thing and that was invent. It was easy to see why as he spent most of his time holed up in his workshop. It was easy to think that Tony was a person who only enjoyed inventing and creating, sketching out new ideas and bringing them to life.

But that wasn’t the case, it wasn’t the case at all.

Tony did enjoy more than one thing and the team knew most of them.

He was a fan of going paintballing, he loved playing the piano because it reminded him of wonderful times with his mother, and he enjoyed cooking and was really good at it. These were just to name a few but another one of Tony’s favourite past-times were revealed one early Thursday.

Steve had just came back from his usual early morning jog and he was busy guzzling down a big bottle of water. The sun had been ruthless today, its heat making him sweat more than he did and the inside of his mouth dry. He could hear Sam’s annoying voice telling him, “It’s important to bring a bottle of water with you at all times, man,” and there was the unmistakable urge to punch something followed by a gentle, “Don’t worry, he’s never going to find out,” and Steve didn’t know if he was going a little crazy or not.

No one else was awake as yesterday had been rather eventful due to a random villain that decided attacking New York would be great. The guy wasn’t all that experienced, called himself ‘The Maniac’ and had a laugh so high pitched that it could have rivalled an excited toddler’s. His plan for evil was to simply unleash a gas that would trigger a chemical imbalance within the brain. The explanation got a little more complicated for there and the weather was hot, the team was pissed and all they wanted to do was defeat this guy and go home.

Luckily enough, it was surprisingly quick but stressful and the guy was now locked up, leaving all the citizens to go about their daily lives.

So it had been a tiring day and once debriefing was over, dinner was eaten and goodnights were said before everyone headed off to bed.

Steve had almost finished his water when he heard the sounds of footsteps walking towards the kitchen. He turned to see who was entering the kitchen, lowering the bottle from his mouth to bid them a good morning, when his mouth suddenly went dry…again.

Tony waltzed into the kitchen, a towel wrapped around his neck, and headed towards the coffee machine. He was definitely awake which was a rare enough sight because Tony wasn’t usually up this early or he was but in the depths of his workshop. But that wasn’t what surprised Steve, seeing Tony in the morning was always a pleasant sight. It was how Tony was dressed that made words fail to come out from his mouth.

Tony was dressed in some of the tightest pair of pants that Steve had ever seen, the material hugging to every curve that it was torture. It also brought more emphasis to the already famous bubble butt and Steve found himself staring at it in all its round and plush glory. He had had thoughts about that butt before and what he would do to it if he ever got his hands on it.

But that wasn’t where it ended and Steve didn’t know who decided that today would be a good day to test Steve’s restraint.

Not only was Tony wearing the tightest pants that Steve had never seen but he was also wearing a crop top. A crop top that showed off a muscled stomach and strong arms that could surely hold their own in a fight. The crop top was the colour red with hints of gold and Steve’s lips quirked upwards at the sight of the familiar colour and the pants were black with the Stark Industries lettering on them. The arc reactor shone bright and blue from the middle of Tony’s chest and looking that somehow always made Steve feel like home.

He realized that he had been staring for too long and his gaze had come to land on Tony’s slightly worried face, Tony standing right in front of him. The two of them looked at each other for a moment, standing so close that Steve only had to reach out and his hands would meet warm and bare skin. It was tempting, especially with how Tony looked at him with those brown eyes, eyebrows furrowed as if he was trying to see what Steve was thinking.

“Are you okay there, Cap?” Tony asked, and Steve was quick to nod. “You sure?” he asked again before pointing to the bottle in Steve’s hand.

Steve glanced down and his cheeks heated up so fast at the sight of the bottle crushed in his hand. Tony seemed quite amused, lips pursed as if he was trying to contain his laughter, in a way of allowing Steve to keep some of his dignity.

“I’m fine,” he replied, his voice sounding rough and dry to his ears, and he mentally face-palmed. “I guess I’m just tired for the morning run.”

“You, tired from running?” Tony questioned, an eyebrow raised in disbelief as he leaned against the counter with his coffee in hand. Steve took a deep breath as he nodded, trying to his eyes ahead of him instead of the sight that Tony made.

“Yeah, it was hot outside today and I forget my water so,” Steve trailed off, now trying to figure out an escape route of some sort.

Tony eyed him for a second before softly going, “Uh huh,”, and took a sip from his mug before his lips curved into a smile. “You know, you can join me for yoga if you want.” He offered and Steve’s brain almost short circuited.

“Yo-yoga?” He stuttered, thanking Thor that Tony didn’t notice as he nodded enthusiastically.

“Yeah, Nat introduced it to me and it’s so relaxing,” Tony said, placing the mug in the sink next to him. “It just makes you feel so loose and pliant, just so releases all tension from your muscles.” He made a show to roll his shoulders back, expression going blissful at the thought. “Yeah, you should try it with us sometime.”

Steve only caught about half of what Tony told him because his imagination was already running wild. Tony doing yoga meant that Tony was relatively flexible, bending over with that ass in the air, lifting his legs over shoulders and all that muscle straining-

Coolly, he shifted until the bulge in his pants wasn’t as noticeable.

“Yeah, I’ll join you guys sometime.” Steve said, his smile slightly strained and Tony was pleased with his answer, sporting a huge grin which was always a beautiful sight to behold.

“Awesome,” he replied happily before looking down at his clock and giving a slight grimace. “It’s almost time for today’s session but I’ll talk to you later,” Tony said, still grinning as he ran a hand down Steve’s arm before making his way towards the door.

Steve didn’t know why but he had to look and when he did, he was greeted by the sight of Tony’s gently swaying hips and once again, that ass in those pants.

It was then that Tony turned back to look at him, his lips curved into a sly smile before he gave a knowing wink.

Steve’s brain blue screened and he finally crashed.

Nightmares // Julian Albert x Reader

Summary: You had noticed Julian’s recent nightmares and were attempting to wait for him to come to you to talk about it. Though, when he refuses to tell you what’s going on you mind tells you what must’ve happened and your reaction puts you in grave danger.

Word count: 2,038

Warnings: mentions of cheating and sex, implied sexual harassment

Julian just wanted to leave everything that happened with Alchemy in the past. He didn’t want to think about it anymore. He thought when the Philosopher’s Stone was gone he could just move on. Except it wasn’t that easy. Every night he had nightmares of all the people he hurt, of savitar’s voice inside his head.

You had been noticing he was acting strange but he never told you what was troubling him. It was unlike him to not tell you what was wrong, for the past two years you’d been together he told you everything. You knew that it must be something he’s not ready to discuss if he hasn’t told you yet. You wanted to know but you didn’t want to pry. You made sure to constantly tell him that you’d be there to listen as soon as he is ready to talk about it. It pained you to see him hurting and to know that he was bottling up all of his emotions.

You felt him jolt awake and could hear his heavy breathing. You turn on your side to face him and see him sitting up, elbows to his knees, and head in his hands. You hear light, quiet sobs escaping from his mouth and your heart breaks to see him like this.

You sit up and run a hand up and down his bare back, not saying anything and just letting him calm down. He begins to relax at your touch but you can still feel the tension in his muscles. You place a hand on his forearm and he pulls his head from his hands to look at you.

“Do you want to talk about it,” you ask lightly while sliding your hand down his arm to intertwine your fingers.

“No,” he chokes out, fiddling with your fingers. “I just want to forget about it.”

“You can’t forget about it by keeping everything in,” the hand you hand on his back moves to his cheek, he melts into your palm and looks into your eyes.

“I don’t want things between us to be ruined,” he says just above a whisper.

Your heart sinks, you don’t know what he did but by the sounds of that it’s not good. There are few things that could jeopardize the relationship you two have and your face falls when you think about what he could’ve done.

When the thought crosses your mind you remove your hands from him and place them in your lap. You just stare at them and try to fight the urge to cry, even though tears are filling your eyes.

At first he is confused at your change in demeanor, then he realizes the only thing that could be going through your head.

“No, no, no,” he quickly grabs your hands. “It’s not that, I didn’t cheat on you. I swear on my life.”

“You have been gone a lot of nights recently,” you say. “How can you explain that?”

He sighs, “I can’t.”

The first tear falls from your eye. “Okay,” you choke before getting up and out of bed.

“Where are you going?” Julian asks, concerned, as you put on a shirt and some leggings.

“To clear my head,” you say while putting on a cardigan and boots.

“Y/N, listen, you have to believe that it wasn’t that.”

“I can’t Julian,” you snap and you can see him tense up. “You haven’t been around most nights, you won’t tell me what’s going on with you, when was the last time we even had dinner together? And I can’t even recall the last time we had sex so it wouldn’t surprise me that your getting it from someone else,” all your sadness had turned to rage, you cross your arms and lean onto your hip.

“Please, just believe me,” he looks up at you with his bright blue, puppy eyes. A look that use to make you do anything, but not now.

“I’ll believe it when you prove it,” you go to walk out the bedroom door.

“Y/N it’s 3 a.m. It’s not safe to be walking around the city.”

You ignore him and just keep walking, you make sure to slam the door of your apartment shut. You stand in the hallway for a moment. Waiting to hear Julian’s footsteps coming after you but they never come. You shake your head and head for the stairs, that’s enough for you to prove you’re right.

Julian wakes up the next morning and sees you’re still not home. He wanted to go after you when you left but seeing you walk away broke him. He couldn’t move or speak, all he could do was sob and sob. He cried himself to sleep and woke up to his pillowcase still damp from his tears.

He did his best to pull himself together and get ready for work. He couldn’t hide that his eyes were red, puffy, and bloodshot and he didn’t even have the energy to fix his hair. He just put on some clothes and left for the precinct.

When he got to the lab he was surprised to see Barry already there. He would’ve made a snarky remark about Barry being early for once in his life but he couldn’t even muster up enough energy for that. He just went straight to his desk, saying nothing.

Barry looked at him for a second, awaiting the snarky remark he undoubtedly deserved. It never came, Julian immediately pulled out some files and got to work. Barry tilted his head in confusion, that’s when he noticed it. He could tell Julian had been up all night, he could see he’d been crying and that his normal scowl was more of a saddened pout.

“Hey, Julian are you okay?” Barry asks.

“I’m fine, Allen,” he replied, except Barry could tell by his tone he was indeed not fine.

Before Barry could say anything Joe runs into the room. “Barry we need you to head down to a crime scene and Julian I need you to come with me.”

Barry knowing Julian was having a rough day thought maybe solving a case would lighten him up. “I think Julian should head down to the scene,” he says. “He’s a better CSI.”

“No, I need him to head over to the hospital with me.”

“Hospital?” Julian stands up. “Why?” Worry starts to fill his voice, the only thing running through his head is you.

Joe lets out a sigh, “It’s Y/N, she got hurt last night. She was found just a little over an hour ago, it was bad. Barry needs to go look at the crime scene and Julian you should see Y/N. I can explain more to you on the way.”

Julian feels sick to his stomach as Joe told him the whole story during the car ride to the Central City Hospital. It happened barely two blocks from your apartment building. All the police knew so far was that you had been pulled into a back alley and were stabbed. The only thing keeping her from bleeding out was the switchblade remaining lodged in her stomach. That was all the knew, they hadn’t gotten a statement from you yet. When you were found you were out cold and all the anesthetics are continuing to keep you that way.

Julian feels the air knocked out from his lungs when he steps into your hospital room. The sight of your weak, limp body would surely be enough to cause him to break down again, but there were no tears left in him.

“I’ll give you two your space,” Joe rests a hand on Julian’s shoulder before exiting the room.

Julian stands in the doorway, mouth hanging a gap for a few moments before walking towards you. He sits in a chair next to your hospital bed and takes your normally warm hand in his, shivers go up his spine when he feels how cold you are. He sighs running his free hand through his hair.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he breathes out. “This is all my fault,” he shakes his head before taking your hand in both of his. “I swear as soon as your up I’ll explain everything,” he rests his head on your hand. “I’ll make this better, I promise,” a tear slips down his cheek. “I’m so sorry,” he repeats over and over again.

An hour passes, Julian’s head still rests on your hand.

“So, this is Y/N?” He hears a voice in the doorway ask. He looks up to see Barry leaning on the door frame. He nods before turning back to her. “You’ve never mentioned her.”

“In case you haven’t noticed I don’t consider you a close friend, do I, Allen?” He remarks, eyes fixated on your features. “What did you learn from the scene?”

“Well, she was found around six, from the looks of the scene and the wound she must’ve been stabbed around five,” Barry explains.

“That makes no sense,” Julian shakes her head. “She left at three, the scene was only two blocks from our apartment it wouldn’t take her two hours to get there.”

“Maybe she was walking back,” Barry suggest.

“No, I know where she was going and she wouldn’t go by the alley where she was found.”

“I guess we just have to wait until she wakes up to know what happened in that time gap. I’ll leave you two alone until then,” he says before leaving the room.

Julian caresses your face, “What happened to you?” He whispers.

He studies your face. He notices your eyes rapidly moving while shut, just as they would if you were having a nightmare. Your breathing picks up, your chest moving up and down frantically. Your heart rate steadily goes up and sweat begins to trickle down your face. Julian grows worried at the sight, not knowing what to do, if he should wake you up or not.

You start to mumble something, “Don’t touch, don’t touch me,” you repeat, getting louder. You jolt awake panting.

“Y/N,” Julian places a hand on the small of your back.

“No!” You shout causes him to back off. “Don’t touch me,” you bury your head in your hands, starting to cry.

“Love, what happened,” he quietly asks.

“He was so scary,” you choke out.

“Who?” He asks but you stay silent. “Baby, who was it?”

“I don’t know,” your voice is a whisper, you hug your knees into your chest. “It was dark and I was blindfolded,” the tears stream down your face. “And then-then-” you couldn’t finish the sentence.

Julian can already put two and two together. “Y/N, I’m so sorry this happened,” he says, ashamed of himself. He knows this is all his fault, he should’ve just told you the truth from the start. “This is all my fault,” he hesitantly places a hand on you back. He can feel your body shake as you cry. “I should’ve told you what was going on.”

“Julian, I don’t care to think about that right now,” your voice is muffled due to the fact your head is still buried in your knees. You turn your head so your cheek is resting on your knee and your facing him, except you can’t make eye contact. You take one of his hands in yours, your grip weak. “Can you just lay with me?” Your voice is almost as weak as your grip.

“Anything, love,” he says before crawling next to you on your small hospital bed.

You rest your head and a hand on his chest. You sigh as you grasp and release the material of his shirt. Your mind is filled with the memories that will forever be embedded in your brain. You screaming and fighting, trying to escape but nothing worked. Then, Julian’s arms wrap around you and suddenly you feel safe again.

“I’ll never let anything like this happen again,” he speaks, softly. “I promise,” he whispers before kissing the top of your head.

“I love you.”

Julian smiles at your words, glad that even though there’s some damage you’re here. You’re safe in his arms.

“I love you, too.”

anonymous asked:

Do tend to be more vocal during sex/orgasm or are you quiet the whole time? Just curious 🤔

Back when I was first coming up as a Dom I was also studying religion and philosophy. Matter of fact, I have a minor in religious study. 

One of the things that came out of all that was looking into the ways of transcendental meditation, the tantra, and other various forms of spiritual pleasures mixed in with the physical. 

So… whats a man to do? but lock himself inside of an empty room for 4 days and stare at the walls while crawling into the deep crevices of his mind and his soul. 

What emerged from that experience was something so incredibly fascinating that its hard to understand for many.

When I engage in intimacy… its not just a touch and go, kiss and lick and sweat it out kind of thing. Its a full body, emotional, physical and spiritual experience. One in which I become completely immersed not only with my entire body but also with my soul.

A soul that seeks to fully devour and consume what its after.. and translates such through my hands.. my mouth.. my hips… my muscles.. my everything. Words spew like a fountain… grunts.. and moans… deep laughs and growls.. all surface to create an environment within the environment that not only captures the physicality of the experience, but the mind and the emotions as well.

A deep spiritual animal comes out… prowling for satisfaction. It hungers to taste and feel… to examine… to touch.. grab.. pinch.. grope… it seeks to completely become enveloped in the soul of which is receiving its pleasure, and intertwine itself as though it were merging into one flesh. 

The animal takes over and soon reality seems to fade and depart from the scene. What was once simple kissing… light touching.. becomes a complete immersion of ecstasy and absolute bliss. 

I talk… a lot. I tell you every single thing that I am going to do, am doing, and I also make sure you know how much you love it. I growl and grunt… and hum… and make you know how much I love it. I take my time, I do it right… and my main goal is making sure that you walk away from the experience forever changed. My hands dont stop until every inch of you has been touched.. my mouth doesnt stop until youve told me you cant give any more.. and then I make you give again. And when i take over with my waist… my hands, mouth, words, sounds, and entire body dont stop.

And when I am ready.. my entire being is expressed into my release and it becomes uncontrollable. Like a wild beast finally let out of its cage…. 

Hours go by… and your left laying there wondering what just happened, and how. Because it usually becomes one of the most intense highs you’ve ever had. Its a full body experience… its an amazing experience. 

I take intimacy incredibly serious.

and its always more for her… than it is for me.

About Time // Part 6

| Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

Type/Genre: Angst, Alternate Universe (Time Travel!au, Soulmate!au)

Character: Jungkook x reader / Jimin x reader (feat. BTS)

Word count: 11,666 words

Prompts: “What if you find your soulmate… at the wrong time?” - Lauren Kate, Passion

Summary: Be careful for what you wish for, because you may never know how to deal with them once it comes true. What would you do when your wish for a second chance actually came true? But was it really a fulfilled wish? Too many questions lie when it actually happened. Were they real memories? Or perhaps a part of a past life? Was it only a dream all along? Will everything be different this time?

Warning: Mentions of cancer/character death

Originally posted by won-der-land89


Keep reading

Building Social Encounters

By Cenycal:

I’m a dungeon master and I don’t want all my sessions to be endless combat encounters. 

When the players and I started this campaign a year ago I made a decision that I don’t regret. I sent them into the woods with no one to talk to but each other (with only a few exceptions). This worked well because I have a player that is a little afraid of RPing, a newb, a murderhobo, and a hardcore. Sending them into the woods allowed them to get familiar with the game (and me as a first time DM) and not feel overwhelmed by interacting with the world.

But now we have reached the end of that journey and they are settled into their new and growing home city. In our most recent session I introduced the city governor and a random caravan merchant. I realized a couple of things after this session. First, as local heroes the party should only occassionally travel through the streets unnoticed. Second, even when not recognized for who they are, plenty of people should interact with them anyway.

So what am I going to do about that? And how do I make even random conversations meaningful for the players so it doesn’t feel like I’m just trying to fill time or force the dreaded “Social Encounter”.

Keep reading

Writer’s Block, the Third

I know it’s been a while, but man, oh man, don’t EVER title your story the worst thing that could happen to a writer. With that being said, thanks to @burkygirl and @xerxia31 for general hand-holding, butt-kicking, and very frank discussions about where this fic is headed. And thanks to @katnissdoesnotfollowback for having a birthday and giving me a reason to write this. Hope you like it! You can read the whole thing here. Don’t forget to talk to me. ;) Pbg 


Originally posted by sensualkisses

The walk to work is short, but I’m no less exhausted after my sleepless night than if I’d had to run miles to get there. All night long, my mind was wrestling with mortification mixed with a little self-loathing - while my body was on a whole other track. It doesn’t care that I lost control in the arms of my nemesis, moving in a single night from my first kiss to… whatever the hell that was. Nope, my body finally knows what it was missing all these years and it  wants more. More kissing. More touching. More stubble under my fingers. I actually imagined what it would be like to lick him in forbidden places, like his nipples, or… lower. Much lower.

I spent the night at war with myself – blushing at my thoughts one second, berating myself the next – until I finally caved into fatigue. I woke up three hours later to find my alarm had been going off for twenty minutes. Sleep, however little, did nothing to dispel the embarrassment. It clings to me like aggressive static electricity. This must be what the walk of shame feels like. Maybe I should read that book again.

The mid-morning sun blinds me when I turn the corner of the building, or I would have seen him, jumped behind a tree or hid in the alley until he left, but the sun is part of the universe after all. And I’ve already gotten the message that we are not friends.

Keep reading

Tips for being a morning person and not wanting to go back to bed again

Okay, we’ve all been there. Somedays you hear your alarm go off and the first thought that comes through your mind is “I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight” I mean, sleeping is probably one of my favourite things to do, though I really wish it wasn’t. I truly envy morning people, or the people that only need 6 h of sleep. Like, wtf? How do you do that? I need at least 9 h of sleep in order to feel functional, and being in uni living in student halls in practically impossible.

Anyways, here are some tips for all my sleepy heads that wish to be *cough* aliensfromanotherplanetbecausesrslyhowcanyouwakeupeverydayat5 *cough* morning people. I’m not a morning person by any means, but sometimes I feel like the best advice comes from people that struggle as much as you do:

  • Routine. Routine. Routine. I cannot stress this enough. Having a routine very morning makes you feel so put together. Waking up to go into your bathroom. Doing your makeup. Murdering the flatmate that wouldn’t turn down their music until 4 AM. Just small things you do every morning to give you a sense of order. I personally like to meditate for five minutes everyday. It also works for me to imagine myself in one of those Morning Routine videos, so I start talking like a beauty guru in my head (you do it too, and you know it)
  • Look forward to something. But something that you are doing as part of your morning routine. Maybe is watching a show while you have breakfast. Maybe is talking to your S.O. But make it part of your routine, because if you have a 9 AM lecture the next day that you really don’t like, it’s going to be harder to want to get out of bed. If it’s something small that you do while getting ready, you’ll feel more inclined to stop hitting the snooze button, even if you’re not really looking forward for what you have to do next.
  • Leave something to do for the next day, in the morning. If I want to get to bed early, but I still have to do something first, sometimes I’ll leave it for the morning after. That way I’ll have to force myself to get out of bed in order to have time to do it. This works really good on Mondays, for example.
  • Set goals. Okay, let’s be honest. You’re not going to wake up tomorrow at 5 AM, workout, meditate, shower, have a healthy breakfast, do some readings, clean your bathroom and then head to your lecture. You may be able to do it for a couple days, but you will quickly loose motivation. I find that the best thing to do is to set goals. Start by waking up everyday at the same time ( would be better if you did it on the weekends too, but everyone knows they are cheat days) and do one thing of all the things you want to do. My personal goal atm is to wake up at 8 and in my morning routine meditate some. I will continue to do it until it becomes a habit. Then, maybe I’ll continue by doing some workout, and so forth. See what I mean?
  • Forgive yourself. Nobody’s perfect! If you went to bed last night at 2 because you were studying (or maybe you just went out, couldn’t sleep) it’s okay to sleep in sometimes. Somedays we are just more tired and our body needs that extra half and hour. But forgive yourself, and try again the next day. Being a morning person takes time and will, but it is possible! (Or so I’ve been told…) Let me know how it goes!! We can do this guys!
Secret of These Hands Ch. 1 (Bucky Barnes x reader)

Hello babes! Ahhhh I’m almost at my first thousand followers and I’m literally about to freak out because I never thought I would ever get here. This is insane!! I just want to thank you all for getting me here because without an amazing audience like you, I honestly don’t know what I’d be doing with my life. Anyways, here’s the first official chapter of “Secret of These Hands”. Enjoy! xx

Description:You were born enhanced. Ever since you were a child, you had the capability to reach into people’s memories by the mere touch of your hand. Even the slightest brush of fingers, or a polite handshake could send you years back into their life without your control. To prevent any sort of incident, you always wore gloves on your hands, no matter what the weather would be. 

One day, you wander into a French farmer’s market, bumping into a man at a fruit stand who, oddly enough, fashions a glove like yourself in the summer heat. You step into his life, hiding secrets, and finding that he has some of his own. Will you ever come clean? And even then, will he?

Warnings: None

Intro

MASTERLIST


You stared at the departure board, your eyes scanning over each destination. There were endless possibilities of where you could go, but all you knew was that you wanted to get away from this place. The Seattle was bustling with people and every once in a while someone would brush past you, knocking you in the shoulder or getting you off balance. The close proximity of the people around you made you antsy about your hands, even though they were gloved. Knowing that you could accidentally go through someone’s lifetime always put you on edge, even with the gloves on. 

As you scanned the board, you eyes landed on a particular city. New Orleans. It was all the way across the country, it was culturally enriching, and it would be hard for anybody to track you down. Well, at least you hoped. You shoved your hand into your back pocket, feeling the wad of cash that was supposed to take you wherever you wanted to go. Ever since you were thirteen, you had been stashing away your allowance for this. That had been the year you decided that you were going to get the hell out of your life. That life was your old life now; you were about to begin a new one. One where nobody knew who you were, knew what you could do. You could start fresh. 

The lady at the airline reception desk eyed you suspiciously when you asked for one ticket to New Orleans in the middle of the night, all by yourself, with a whole stack of bills. She had good reason to be, but you were honest. 

“I hate to bug you hun, but this doesn’t seem too right. It’s two o’clock in the morning, you’re alone, you got a whole lot of cash, and you want a one way ticket to Louisiana. I don’t have to call security, do I?” She was trying to be sincere, but she couldn’t help raising her eyebrow at you. 

“Oh no, you don’t have to do that. I’m going to be honest with you. I literally just turned eighteen two hours ago, and my family basically wants to disown me, so for the past five years I’ve been saving up money to leave. This is my way out. I’m totally legal and I didn’t acquire this money illegally.” You chuckled nervously. You literally just confessed your life story to a complete stranger. “The only thing I am doing is running away from this life, so that’s what I’d like to do, if you don’t mind.” You gave her a small smile, and she responded with a slow nod, letting her fingers type furiously on her computer. You heard the sound of a printer, and she handed you your ticket. 

“Try the beignets at City House Square on 5th, you’ll fall in love.” She smiled sweetly at you, and giving you a wink. 

“I will, and thank you.” You turned away towards the terminal, shifting your bag on your shoulder. You whispered to yourself. “A new beginning is just what I need.” 

The hallways were packed with people surprisingly and you weaved in out and of them, trying to find your gate. Of course, it was the last one all the way at the other end of the airport. When you finally saw the screen with your departure information, you plopped yourself down on a chair, and pulled out your headphones. Suddenly, all the outside noise was droned out by one of your favorite songs on a playlist of yours. You checked the time. You still had forty-five more minutes till boarding.

The time seemed to whiz by. The plane parked, the people got off, you got in line, and now you were giving the man your ticket. 

“Thank you.” You gave him a slight nod and made your way down the ramp to the plane. The deep sigh that came out of you relaxed your muscles and you felt like the world had just been lifted off of your shoulders. You found your seat in the middle of the plane, next to the window. A small smile came across your face as you looked up out the window, watching the stars. 

The plane wasn’t nearly filled to capacity. You guessed that not many people took spontaneous trips to New Orleans at three in the morning. The pilot spoke over the intercom, telling you the flying the conditions and the estimated time of arrival. As the lights inside the cabin dimmed, the hum of the engine began to lull you to sleep. The soft music in your ears drowned out the violent take off, letting you relax in your seat, and lean your head against the window. 

All you could think about was that there was nobody binding you anymore, no old life you had to hold onto anymore. You were free, you could explore, and there was nobody around you that had anything against you. 

The last thought that ran through your mind before you fell asleep was echoed softly through your head. 

It’s only me and a new life ahead of me. 


I know it’s short, but I’m trying to get it to build. I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your day! I’ll have two new chapter tomorrow, and maybe a one shot depending on how things go when I write tonight. I love you all, xoxo

TAGLIST IS OPEN FOR THIS SERIES. 

Taglist:

@theriotsquad @pascalisonecoolchameleon @usernamesarebitches @purplekitten30 @only-little-glances @cassandras-musings @abbyg723 @barely-emily @ekinsyikin @queenvulca @ok-ladies-lets-get-in-formation @dont-rain-on-my-fandom @aqxa @red-bandana-girl @spiderlingy @itsemmyb @skeletoresinthebasement @nikolanna @angry-but-smol @chaoticlogics @aknerdchick @38leticia @axelinchen @xxblackteabinchxx @table-108 @brookenoonie @cakeisforchumps @kellieabro @peachbucky @magellan-88 @mcfuccfairy @fandomlover2001 @elegantnightmareshiro @buckysplumfondler @arabellaaurorabarnes @imgettingmarriedtobuckybarnes @badassbaker @life-is-fuucked @elwenia @justmasblack @addictionmarvel

I Can’t Love Her, She’s Not Mine to Love Anymore - Calum  Imagine

request; Could you do an imagine where Calums falling in love another band members girlfrend (or the girl who he wants back)?

sorry for the wait, anon. enjoy! :) oh and i also wrote it in his p.o.v. hope that’s okay. x


Tonight was the band’s last show of the year. We were all excited. The energy was out the roof. Everyone backstage was buzzing. I was sad that we were going to end the year already, but I was happy at the same time.

It was a few more minutes until we had to go on stage. The boys and I were getting ready, warming up a little before going on stage. I was more than excited. Nothing could make this night go wrong. At least that’s what I thought. That was before she came backstage to surprise Ashton, her boyfriend. Y/N didn’t just surprise Ashton, though. She surprised me as well.

“Y/N! Babe, what a great surprise!” Ashton says with such happiness as she walks to him.

“Hey! I thought I’d come surprise you on your guy’s last show.” Y/N explains. Then Ashton gives her a big hug.

After the hug they share a kiss. I couldn’t see them show that much affection so I turned around immediately. My happiness was slowly fading away.

“SHOW TIME BOYS!” One of the crew members yell with a big thumbs up.

Thank goodness it was time to play the show. I don’t think I’ll be able to handle seeing Y/N and Ashton together. I need my space from them. More from Y/N than anyone. What I’m feeling for her has to go away. The feelings that I feel once again should not be allowed. They aren’t allowed, but I feel something for her. She has a boyfriend now and it’s Ashton who is my best friend. I had to stop thinking about her. About my feelings. About the past. About everything. I have to admit that it is hard. This was a situation I didn’t want to be in. It’s horrible knowing that I’m in love with Y/N even if she’s dating Ash. What would happen to my friendship with him if he were to find out I was in love with his girlfriend? That’s terrifying to think about. I really need to stop thinking about all of this.

Tonight’s show was supposed to be the best night this year. This was our last concert of the year. The end of our tour. But I couldn’t enjoy it. My mind was on her. How could I ignore the thoughts of her if she was dancing and singing along to the songs we were playing in the front row. No matter how many times I looked away my eyes would wander back. I needed to stop looking her way. I needed to focus on playing instead. My mind needs to stay focused on playing and not on Y/N.

Half an hour later we end the last concert. The guys ran backstage still excited about the night. I, on the other hand, decided to walk as slowly as I could backstage for obvious reasons. Once I finally joined the rest of everybody I saw Ashton and Y/N together. They seemed so happy being together. The sight made me feel worse. I needed to get away so I walked passed everyone in the room and went out to the alley. As soon as I opened the door I let out a big sigh as I ran my fingers through my hair. How in the hell am I supposed to get over her? Why did I have to fall in love with her out of all the girls in the world, it had to be Y/N again. And now that she’s dating my best friend. This is just a disaster.

My phone was buzzing in my pants. I took it out to see what it was. There were messages from Luke, Michael, and Ashton asking where I had disappeared to. All I replied back with was ‘I’ll be there in a few minutes.’ I needed a few more minutes to clear m head even though I know that when I see her all the thoughts are going to rush back in.

“I thought I’d find you here.”

You know that phrase speaking of the devil? Well in my case it’s thinking if the devil.

“Hey.” Is the only thing I can think of saying.

“What are you doing back here?” Y/N asks walking closer to me.

I leaned against the rail and looked down, fumbling with my thumbs. It took me a while to answer her.

“I needed to clear my head. There’s a lot going on.”

I know she’s going to ask what it was that I had on my mind. But it was the truth. I felt like I could talk to her like we used to before. Even though everything running through my head involves her. She doesn’t know that though. And I hope she doesn’t find out.

“What could you possibly be thinking about to have you thinking so much on such a great night like tonight?”

She’s now standing next to me, but I keep my eyes down because I know that if I look into her eyes I might just tell her how I feel. That can’t happen. I had the chance to before and I didn’t take it. So now I’m fucked.

“A whole lot of things. I don’t know myself.”

“You’re lying to me, Hood. I know you know what you’re thinking about.” She pauses for a little then lowers her voice, “I saw you looking at me almost the entire concert..”

That got me to look at her. My eyes were wide. I didn’t know what to say. She caught me staring at her. This is bad.

There was a long pause between us. I was still nervous as fuck. Who knew what she was going to say.

“The way you were looking at me, it’s not okay.. You can’t loot at me like that anymore.”

I know I can’t look at her that way. I know that. But I can’t help myself from doing so. These feelings for Y/N are real. They always have been real. I was just stupid to let her go. That’s the stupidest thing I could have ever done yet I did it and now I’m here looking at her and regretting the day I let her go and didn’t tell her what I felt for her. What I still feel for her.


To be continued..?

Conversation prompt #4

Requested by @m-alycin  “You forgot me…”    “It was an accident”

Post IWTB drabble


I was halfway home when I realised.  Realised why I had been plagued with a niggling feeling ever since exiting the grocery store that there was something I had forgotten.  Mentally I had re-run the list of things I needed to pick up from town, checking and double checking before I finally just shrugged it off as being the product of a week of twelve hour nights at the hospital where I was the primary physician on call.  Twelve hour shifts that had, more often than not, morphed into fourteen before I was able to drag myself home and collapse into bed after forcing down the breakfast Mulder insisted I eat to at least replenish some of the energy I was expending on a nightly basis.

He would then wake me up a couple of hours before I needed to be back at work, to give me time to shower and to give him time to force feed me some more.  

It is a pattern that has repeated often during the five years or so since we finally deemed it safe enough to stop running, to find a way to exist in the constricted universe we had found ourselves in.  It’s fair to say though that the transition was easier for me than it was for Mulder because as much as we both hated our transient lifestyle, at least back then he had a sense of purpose - to keep running; to keep us safe.  That purpose was pretty much bled from him the moment we stopped and no matter how much we tried to dress it up, the house and grounds for Mulder became just another prison from which there was no escape.

It was just too much of a risk for him to be seen and so, during the hours of daylight he remained indoors, venturing out only when darkness had fallen to cloak the surrounding area, to take a run, to breathe in the fresh air or just to lay back in the long grasses that surrounded the farmhouse and find solace in the stars that twinkled to infinity above him.

Sometimes I would join him, but mostly I would simply allow him this time, to clear his mind and to feel, just for an hour or two that he was free.  This complex man with his incredible mind who had been reduced to a common fugitive, denied a fair trial and forced to put on hold everything he had fought for over the previous decade to live a strange kind of half life where his old adage of trust no one took on a whole new level of terrifying; and despite everything I had sacrificed, there was never a moment where I regretted my decision to be with him because so much had been lost to me already that to lose him too was simply unimaginable.

Keep reading