this was the first big brother that i have actually voted for

every big brother cast

in honor of the new season of big brother i decided to make this post detailing who is in the cast each season

Loud  ™

Average white guy. Louder than everyone else. Makes an all guys alliance on the first day but no one sees him as a threat. Everyone listens to him for some reason. He’ll be booted off in a few weeks but isn’t seen as a failure. Had a showmance with a girl he doesn’t respect

Old  ™

Old man or woman. Only on the show so it doesn’t look like a dating show. Booted off in the first few weeks and everyone who voted for him to go cries anyway because they were “best friends”. They’ll be missed. Not really.

Gay  ™

All he talks about is being gay. The straight guys are friends with him to look accepting but talk shit about him behind his back. He’s also friends with all the girls which is why he stays in the game for so long. Acts dumb but actually has a strategy, to the surprise of all the straight people. Kind of racist.

The Single Mom  ™

Hot. Won’t have a showmance but she’ll come close. Playing for her kids. Talks about them a lot but it never makes it into the show. Everyone will call her kids ugly behind her back. Makes it to jury even though she didn’t have a very good strategy. 

The Lesbian  ™

Has no strategy. Makes you wonder why she’s here. All the girls think she’s flirting with them even though she’s not. Tries to be one of the guys but they’re all uncomfortable around her. Doesn’t make it to jury and has no friends. She gained some twitter followers though and exposes all the houseguests after she leaves.

Country Bumpkins  ™

Really annoying but no one thinks so. Makes it into like 1000 alliances. Everyone finds out halfway through the season that they’re racist and is somehow surprised. The girl is always in a showmance and wins a lot of competitions. The guy is really close with all the other guys and he saves the girl he likes from eviction like once. That’s it. Also what is loyalty? They’ve never heard of it.

The Minorities  ™

Only on the show so Big Brother doesn’t seem racist. Really religious. Has a touching backstory. The girl is always Sassy and is seen as a threat though no one will admit why. Can’t catch a break. Have to fight their way to jury because they’re always on the block. 

Unemployed  ™

Kinda ugly. Easygoing. Just lost his job. Lives with his mom. In a lot of alliances. Everyone sees him as a threat for some reason (he’s really dumb but no one thinks so). Somehow lands a showmance with a cute girl. Doesn’t make it to the end but comes close.

The Superfan  ™

Youngest one in the cast. Seen as a threat the first week but then everyone forgets about him. One of the only people who knows what’s going on. Good at mental competitions/challenges. If he doesn’t win he comes really close. 

Girl With Makeup  ™

Everyone hates her because she’s pretty. None of her houseguests respect her. She’d have a good game if literally anyone would make an alliance with her. Gets pretty far because of a showmance. 

Mr. Exercise   ™

Works out. Really dumb. Flirts with everyone. Has zero strategy, his Boys carry him through the game. Has a showmance that no one cares about but the girl will make it further because of him. Talks to the cameras on the live feed. Loves his mom.

The Pawn  ™

Average guy. Does everything his boys asks him to. On the block every week but never goes home, at least until the end of the season. The other side of the house will tell him he’s being used to get his vote but he won’t believe them. Wins one HOH and his Boys make all the decisions anyway. Probably in a showmance but backstabs her without a second thought. Definitely not a fan favorite. 

Quirky  ™ (aka She Wears Glasses  ™)

Won’t stop following the guys around but constantly talks about Girl Power. Has two friends. She makes everyone uncomfortable but stays around because she wins a few competitions. Makes it to jury and the fans kind of like her even though she won’t win fan favorite. Her game is really messy which is why she doesn’t win. Can’t keep a secret. 

Bonus:

one of them is Very Italian and won’t stop talking about it. One of them is related to a past houseguest. One of the girls won’t stop crying. One of the guys call all the girls “too emotional” but has a literal mental breakdown.

Ong Seongwoo; brother’s best friend

Member: Seongwoo // Wanna One

Genre: Fluff

Request: Can I request scenario with Seongwoo where he’s your older brother’s best friend? Like he’s known you since you were in middle school so he’s like a second brother but now you’re going to start university and he starts to notice you’re not the same little girl anymore

A/N: tHANK YOU FOR REQUESTING THIS BC DAMN I’M SO HYPE TO WRECK LEAH’S WHOLE LIFE

Originally posted by 080717

  • damn that gif has my booty poppin
  • alright let’s do this shit
  • seongwoo is your older brother's handsome af best friend
  • so two have known each other since your cringy middle school years
  • yeah he even caught you dying your bangs with kool-aid one time
  • your life almost ended right then and there
  • it didn’t really matter though tbh because he just saw you as his best friend’s dorky kid sister
  • but you’d always had a giant crush on him
  • I mean look at him??? who wouldn’t
  • you turned down all your countless not really suitors because you KnEw deep down that oNe DaY seongwoo would fall madly in love with you
  • spoiler alert: it never happened
  • as you grew older, you matured and your crush subsided
  • not completely though
  • your heartbeat would still speed up every time he got a little too close, or playfully teased you
  • eventually you reach your second year of high school
  • seongwoo and your brother, daniel though you call him euigeon to piss him off, are long off to college
  • seongwoo still visits the house frequently, as daniel hasn’t moved out yet
  • you and seongwoo have gotten a little closer to the point where you consider him like family 
  • family that you have a huge crush on
  • but by now you know he doesn’t see you the way you see him
  • you get asked out by the cute guy in your chemistry class, bae jinyoung, and for the first time, you accept
  • he’s definitely handsome - he was voted most handsome for freshman superlatives until park jihoon transferred 
  • he’s also pretty popular with the girls
  • seongwoo finds out from your brother and teases you endlessly about your first boyfriend
  • but one time your friend describes how they feel about their boyfriend, and you realize something is wrong because
  • you don’t feel that way about jinyoung
  • you test it out, but he doesn’t give you the feeling he should
  • he doesn’t give you the feeling seongwoo did
  • when you break up with jinyoung, he’s surprisingly okay with it
  • you found out later this is because he had developed a crush on an older transfer student from china
  • fast forward two years later, and you haven’t seen seongwoo in at least a year, ever since daniel finally moved out
  • for your high school graduation, daniel, of course, comes to support his lil sis
  • and can you guess who he brings with him
  • that’s right
  • the pope
  • wait what,,, I mean seongwoo
  • and he’s definitely gotten more mature and handsome
  • what what you don’t realize is
  • so have you
  • when seongwoo spots you in your cap, gown, heels, and makeup, he does a double take
  • you look completely different from when he last saw you
  • and suddenly he realizes this little girl he’s always known??
  • she isn’t a little girl anymore
  • well he’s shook
  • and he’s wondering like,, why is he getting flustered over his best friend’s little sister??
  • the one who wore only boy’s clothes until 8th grade and dyed her hair with kool-aid in middle school???
  • no of course he couldn’t be attracted to you
  • but then he catches you laughing at something daniel says and his heart is all like “!!!”
  • and he’s like ‘maybe I’m sick??? yes!! that’s totally it I probably have a cold there is no other explanation’
  • after the summer, you end up going to the same college as the two of them
  • and you meet up with them on a regular basis
  • sometimes daniel can’t make it, so it’s just you and seongwoo
  • and you two get mistaken for a couple way too often
  • you’re always the one to deny it first, thinking it makes him uncomfortable when that happens
  • he doesn’t really know why, but he wishes you wouldn’t be so adamant about it
  • daniel starts disappearing more and more often with shady excuses, so you and seongwoo hang out alone more often than you do with daniel
  • one day, daniel slips away again and you’re getting really suspicious now because:
  • “did he just say,,, he had to wash his cats?”
  • “yeah,,,”
  • “didn’t he say he had to wash them last week??”
  • “he could be very conscious of his cats’ hygiene needs,”
  • “seongwoo,,, he washes his cats like every two months,,,”
  • “,,,that is suspicious indeed”
  • and so next time he flakes on meeting up, you two decide to secretly follow him
  • he’s pretty clueless, so he leads you right to where his destination is
  • and boy oh boy
  • your big brother seems to have a little crush
  • or a big crush
  • that happens to be mutual
  • basically, you catch him making out with one of your close friends on the campus lawn
  • both of their faces turn bright red when you step out from behind a tree and confront them
  • “so… secretly dating one of my friends huh?”
  • “y-y/n~ please don’t be mad~” 
  • “well, tbh,,, I don’t really have the right to be mad”
  • and they’re all like “??? what”
  • “actually,,, I’m dating jaehwan,”
  • daniel is shook
  • “jaehwan? kim jaehwan? from the soccer team?”
  • seongwoo is like 99.98% sure he’s sick again because like,,, his chest is tight all of a sudden??? and his throat feels like it’s closing
  • he’s like ‘why am I feeling sick so much recently I was always fine before’
  • later, back at their apartment, when daniel mentions jaehwan and you, seongwoo rolls his eyes like a 12 y/o boy
  • “they can date or whatever, I don’t care what she does or who she dates”
  • well that sounds an awful lot like he does care, daniel notices
  • and he smirks
  • “bro you jealous”
  • “whaT??? jealous?? of who??”
  • what, ong seoNGWOO?? jeaLOUS?? ofc not never
  • “of jaehwan, dumbass”
  • “why would I be jealous of jaehwan lmao”
  • “maybe because you like my sister”
  • “uM NO SHE DOESN’T MAKE ME BLUSH I’M JUST SICK”
  • “,,,, i never said she did”
  • #seongwoo #exposed
  • “so she makes you blush then huh”
  • “sHUt tHe F–”
  • surprisingly, daniel is actually hella chill about it
  • or maybe not surprisingly
  • daniel’s pretty chill tbh
  • so basically he becomes you and seongwoo’s biggest shipper and secret matchmaker
  • for instance seongwoo conveniently becomes your assigned tutor when you’re failing your math class
  • and wOW when you need a ride, daniel convEniENTLY can’t make it, but sEoNgwoO certainly can :))))
  • and cOnVEniENTLY you and seongwoo find yourself locked in a classroom one night, after you had to retrieve your misplaced textbook
  • certainly not the work of someone whose name starts with d and ends with aniel
  • you’re like “but the janitor knew we were gonna be in here??? how did we get locked in??”
  • and he’s like “,,,, dunno" 
  • cue awkward avoidance of eye contact
  • after many unanswered calls to daniel, seongwoo suggests you let it be
  • after all, it’s not like daniel will pick up
  • “,, what does that mean?”
  • “whAT I JUST MEANT HE’S PROBABLY WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND”
  • and after about ten minutes of occasional small talk (but mostly awkward silence), seongwoo decides to ask a question he really doesn’t want to know the answer to 
  • “so,,, how are you and ,,, jaehwan?”
  • “what about him??”
  • “isn’t he your boyfriend?
  • “oh hahaha,, I just said that to get back at daniel for lying to me”
  • “wait so,,, you guys aren’t actually together?”
  • you’re like: “nope”
  • and he’s like ‘this is my chance!!
  • “y/n?”
  • “hm?”
  • he waits until you look up from your phone
  • and then bOOM, he plants one right on your mouth
  • you almost die right then and there because !! ong seongwoo is kissing you !!
  • and you can feel the smile on his lips when you recover from the shock and start kissing him back
  •  and wow this is better than any kiss you’ve ever had before
  • seongwoo moves his hand to behind your neck, pulling you closer
  • when you finally break apart bc you need to breathe
  • though sacrificing air for kissing seongwoo is something you wouldn’t be against
  • seongwoo swallows and finally says: “I like you”
  • and you’re trying not to scREAM bc like
  • “I’ve waited way too long to hear that,”
  • like the dumbass seongwoo is i say, as I sigh over how dreamy he is, he’s clueless
  • “wait what??”
  • “I’ve had a crush on you since middle school, seongwoo”
  • and daniel chooses this moment to violently swing the door open and shout “i kNEW IT”
  • yeah he gets his ass beat
  • #worthit

anonymous asked:

If you don't mind me asking, how many versions of Jason out there?

Oh there are so many versions of Jason out there, my dear anon :)

But I will introduce you to the most important versions of him in this post. 

Pre-Crisis Jason (underappreciated gem):

“I’m Robin, and being Robin gives magic”

The First Jason, the one with acrobats parents who were killed by Killer Croc and then got adopted by Bruce Wayne. He was playful kid, kinda bratty, insecure and you can’t help but feel as proud as Bruce when you see him mature through the run. He had a better life than the other Jasons and better relationships. He also got the best Batdad ever (seriously, pre-crisis Bruce was the best batdad you will ever see). 

If you guys ever wondered what Jason would be like without all these tragedies, then just read Pre-Crisis Jason’s stories and you will find out.

Dark knight Returns Miller’Jason:

“But The Joker is out there….there’s no telling what he’ll do”

The first one who started the “Jason has to die in every universe” circle and his death pushed Bruce to retirement. We unfortunately don’t know much about his parents or how did he meet Batman. He was extremely brutal (There would be no criminals left in Gotham if this Jason got the chance to grow up) and protective of Batman. He was also trained to be the next Batman, but unfortunately died before he could take the mantle.

Post-Crisis Jason (the one tumblr is in love with):

”Try and catch me, you big boob”

The one who died by a vote and then returned as Red Hood. He was a street kid with a criminal father and addicted mother. He met Batman when he tried to steal the batmobile’s tires and become Robin later. He was killed by The Joker after his real mother betrayed him (and stayed died for almost 20 years) and then return later after digging himself out of his grave. 

Flashpoint Jason:

“Father Todd, but you can call me Jason”

Ever wondered what would have become of Jason if he never meet Batman? Well, we got the answer in Flashpoint, a world where Bruce died instead of his parents. Jason ended up falling in with the Church of Blood run by Brother Blood. He mysteriously still died and resurrected and his hair bore a white streak suggesting that he was brought back by a Lazarus Pit. After his resurrection, Jason was taken in by the church where he turned his life around and became a priest.

What interesting (and sad) about this take is it proves that Jason would have been better off if he never meet Bruce. That Bruce actually doomed him.

New 52 Jason (another underappreciated gem):

“You can’t tell, but I’m shedding a single tear underneath this hood”

The one with harsher home life and better relationship with the Batfamily. Like PC Jason, his father was criminal and his mother was addicted. But unlike the other versions, Jason’s father was abusive toward him and his mother. He trained under Batman, LoA and All Caste (he’s seriously strong). Teamed up with Kori and Roy for awhile (and become one of the top ten most wanted criminal in the world), Started a company with Roy and now he’s teaming up with Artemis and Bizarro.

He is the current version that being used in the main DC universe and honestly? I’m pretty fond of him :)

Arkhamverse Jason:

“It’s personal, very personal”

The one who never died, but you will wish that he did (seriously, his life freaking sucks in this universe). Jason was kidnapped by the Joker and tortured both physically and mentally for a year. The Joker brainwashed Jason to hate Bruce and even get close enough to telling him Batman’s identity before Joker shot Jason and send the video to Batman making him think that Jason was dead. After The Joker died, Jason become Arkham Knight and worked with Scarecrow to takeover Gotham and break & kill Batman. He formed a militia and had Deathstroke as his right hand.

At the end of the game and after Bruce defeated Jason and stopped his army, Bruce was kidnapped by Scarecrow which resulted in a broken Jason saving him.

Honorable mention: Bombshells’ Jason

“If all the good people left Spain, then who would be left to fight for her?”

In this version, Jason was taken under Kate and Renee care. He was born during a war and refused to leave when everyone did to protect his country. He was described as cunning and clever who helped out Kate and Renee a lot. He died later in Kate’s arms which affected her and Renee deeply.

Yay, another long post and I’m tagging this because I was planning to do a post about different versions of Jason anyway.

Full Script: History of Japan

 Japan is an island by the sea filled with volcanoes and it’s ♫beautiful♫

In the year -1,000,000,000, Japan might not have been here. In the year -40,000, it was here and you could walk to it; and some people walked to it. Then, it got warmer, some ice bergs melted, it became an island, and now there’s lots of trees because it’s warmer.

So now, there’s people on the island. They’re basically sort of hanging out (in between the mountains), eating nuts off trees, and using the latest technology like stones and bowls.

Ding dong. 

It’s the outside world and they have technology from the future like really good metal and crazy rice farms. Now you can make a lot of rice really really quickly. That means if you own a farm, you own a lot of food. Which is something everybody needs to survive. So that makes you king. 

Rice farming and rice kingdoms spread across the land all the way to here. The most important kingdoms were here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. But this one was the most most important. Ruled by a “heavenly superperson” or (emperor) for short. 

Knock knock. Get the door, it’s Religion.

The new prince wants everyone to try this hot new religion from baekje. 

“Please try this religion.” he said. 

“No.” said everybody. 

Try it” he said. 

No.” said everybody again, quieter this time. 

And so, the religion was put into place and all of the rules that came with it. 

Then, the government was taken over by another clique, and they made some reforms like making the government govern more, and making the government more like China’s government, which is a government that governs more.

“Hi, China.” They said.

“Hi, dipshitsaid China.

“Can you call us something else, other than ‘dipshit’?” said Japan.

“Like what?” said China. 

♫How about sunrise land?said Japan.

And they stole China’s alphabet and wrote a book. About themselves. And then they made lots of poetry and art and another book about themselves. Then, they stopped moving the capital every time the emperor died and kept it in one place for a while. Right here. And they conquered the north, finally. Get that squared away. 

A rich hipster named Kukai is bored with modern buddhism, visits China, and learns a better version which is more ♫spiritual♫, comes back, re-invents the alphabet, and causes art and literature to be ♫great for a long time. And the royal palace turned into such a dream world of art that they really didn’t give a shit about running the country. 

So if you live outside the palace, how are you supposed to protect your shit from criminals

♫Hire a samurai

Everyone started hiring samurai. 

  • *Rich important people hired samurai. 
  • *Poor people who could not afford to hire samurai did not hire samurai.

The samurai became organized and powerful; more powerful than the government. So they made their own military government here. They let the emperor still be “emperor”, but the shogun is actually in control. 

Breaking news. The Mongols have invaded China.

“W̖͖̣̬̰̮͐ͯͩ̔͊e̥̜͕̱̝̓ͅ'̇ͪͫͮ́̈́v̞̼͍̿̋͌ê͓̜͎̪̼̻̦̆ i͈̣̬̘n͖̹͈̫͚͎͇͊ͬv̮͈͕͚͔͆́̌͊̀a̦̓d͆̄̄͊̃ͦ͒ḛ̖̮̭̦̗̾̈́̃ͪ̈́d̐ͧ C̘͒͑̃͒ͥ̚h̻̖̯̝̠̩͎̎̉̓̿̂̈́i̫͎̬͈̎̿̈́̆̄ͭn͙̮͉̖̑͛̿͗̚a͙̼͆.͈͇̠͖̭͎͍ͧ̆̍̆̂̆”said the Mongols. 

“Please respect us, or else we might invade you as well.”

“Okay.” said Japan. 

So the Mongols came over, ready for war, and died in a tornado. But they tried again, and had a nice time fighting with the Japanese, but then died in a tornado. Then, the emperor overthrows the shogun. Then, the shogun overthrows them back, and moves to Kyoto and makes a new shogun. And the emperor can still dress like an emperor if he wants, that’s fine. 

♫Now there’s more art

Painting with less colors. Collaborative poetry. Plays. Monkey fun. Tea parties. Gardening. Architecture. Flowers. 

It’s time for who’s going to be the next shogun?

Usually, it’s the shoguns kid, but the shogun doesn’t have a kid. So he tries to get his brother to quit being a monk and be the next shogun. He says, “Okay.” But then the shogun has a kid. So now, who’s is going to be? Vote now on your phones. And everyone voted so hard that the palace caught on fire and burned down. The shogun actually didn’t care. He was off somewhere doing poetry. And the whole country broke into pieces.

Everyone is fighting with each other for local power, and it’s anybody’s game.  

Knock knock. It’s Europe.

No, they’re not here to take over. They just want to sell some shit like clocks and guns and ♫Jesus♫. So that’s cool, but everyone’s still fighting each other for control. Now with guns. And wouldn’t it be nice to control the capital? Which right now is puppets, with no one controlling them. 

This clan is ready to make a run for it. But first, they have to trample this smaller clan which is in the way. Surprise. The smaller clan wins, and the leader of that clan steals the idea of invading the capital, and invades the capital. And it goes very well. He’s about halfway through conquering Japan when someone who works for him kills him. And then someone else who works for him kills them. And that guy finishes conquering Japan. And then he confiscated everybody’s swords, and made some rules. 

“And now I’m going to invade Korea and then hopefully China.” he said. 

And failed.

And also died.

Before he died he told these five guys to take care of his five year old son until he’s old enough to be the next ruler of Japan. And the five guys said, “Yeah, right. It’s not gonna be this kid. It’s gonna be one of us because we’re grownups.” And it’s probably gonna be this guy, who happens to be way more rich and powerful than the others. A lot of people support him, but a lot of people support not supporting him. They have a fight and he wins and starts a new government right here. 

♫~Edo~

And he still lets the emperor dress like an emperor and have very nice things. But don’t get confused; this is the new government and they are (very strict). So strict, that they closed the country. No one can leave, and no one can come in, except for the Dutch, if they want to buy an sell shit. But they have to do it right here

Now that the entire country was not at war with itself, population increased a lot. Business increased. Schools were built. Roads were built. Everyone learned to read. Books were published. There was poetry, plays, sexy times, puppet shows, and Dutch studies. 

People started studying European science from books they bought from the Dutch. We’re talking geography, skeletons, physics, chemistry, astronomy, and maybe even electricity.

Over time, the economic and cultural prosperity began to gradually slow down. 

Knock knock. It’s the United States. 

With huge boats (with guns). Gunboats. 

Open. The country. Stop having it be closed.” said the United States.

There’s really nothing they could do, so they signed a contract that lets the United States, Britain, and Russia visit Japan anytime they want. Choshu and Satsuma hated this. 

“That sucks.” they said.

This sucks!”

And with almost very little outside help, they overthrew the shogun, and somehow, made the emperor, the emperor again, and moved him to Edo, which they renamed, “Eastern Capital.” They made a new government, which was a lot more western. They made a new constitution, that was pretty western. And a military that was… Pretty western. 

And do you know what else was western? That’s right, it’s conquering stuff. So, what can we conquer? Korea. They conquer Korea, taking it from its previous owner, China, and then go a little bit further, and Russia rushes in out of no where and says, “Stop. No, you can’t take that. We were gonna build a railroad through here to try to get some warm water.” 

And Russia builds their railroad, supervised by a shit ton of soldiers. And then, when the railroad was done, they downgraded to a fuck ton. Did I say “downgrade”? I meant “upgrade.” 

And Japan says:

Can you maybe chill?

And Russia says:

“How about maybe you chill?”

Japan is kind of scared of Russia. You’ll never guess who’s also kind of scared of Russia. Great Britain. So Japan and Great Britain make an alliance together so they can be a little less scared of Russia. Feeling confident, Japan goes to war against Russia, just for a moment, and then they both get tired and stop. 

♫~It’s time for World War 1~

The world is about to have a war. Because it’s the 1900s and weapons are getting crazy. And all these empires are excited to try them out on each other. Meanwhile, Japan has been enjoying conquering stuff and wants m̞͇̲̗̖̥͚̬o̬̹͖̜ͅr̞̫͚e̲̹͉̩ and the next thing on their list is this part of China and lots of tiny islands. 

All that stuff belongs to Germany, which just had war declared on by Britain, because Britain was friends with Belgium, which was being trespassed by Germany in order to get to France to kick France’s ass because France was friends with Russia, who was getting ready to kick Austria’s ass because Austria was getting ready to kick Seriba’s ass because someone from Serbia shot the leader of Austria’s ass. Or, actually, shot him in the head. And Britain was currently friends with Japan, so you know what that means. Duh.

♫Japan should take the islands♫

Which, they wanted to do anyways. So they called Britain on the tele to sort of let them know. And then they did it. And they also helped Britain a little here and there with some errands and stuff. 

Now the war is over and, congratulations, Japan. You technically fought in the war, which means you get to sit at the negotiating table with the big dudes, where they decided who owns what. And, yes, Japan gets to keep all that shit they stole from Germany. You also get to join the post-war mega alliance.

♫The League of Nations

Whose mission statement is to try not to take over the world. 

The Great Depression is bad, and Japan’s economy is now crappy. But the military is doing just fine, and it invades Manchuria, and the League of Nations is like:

No, don’t do that, if you’re in the League of Nations you’re not supposed to take over the world!”

And Japan is like:

♫~ How about I do, anyway?~

And Japan invaded more and more and more of China and was planning to invade the entire east.

You’ve got mail. 

It’s from Germany. The new leader of Germany. He has a cool mustache, and he’s trying to take over the world and needs friends. This also got forwarded to Italy. They all decided to be friends because they had so much in common. 

♫~It’s time for World War 2~

Germany is invading the neighbors, then they invade the neighbors neighbors, then the neighbors neighbors neighbors who happen to be Britain said, “Holy shit♫" And the United States started helping Britain because they are ♫Good friends♫. And started not helping Japan because their friends and our friends are not friends. Plus they’re planning on invading the entire ocean♫. The United States is also working on a large, very huge bomb, bigger than any other bomb, ever. Just in case. But they still haven’t joined the war. War looks bad on T.V., and the United States is really starting to care about their image. But then Japan spits on them in Hawaii, and challenges them to war. And they say, “Yes.” And then Germany, as a symbol of friendship, declares war on the Unites States also. 

So the United States goes to war in Europe and they help the gang chase Germany back into Germany and they also start chasing Japan back into Japan, and they haven’t used the bomb yet and are curious to see if it works. 

So they drop it on Japan. 

They actually drop two.

United States installed a new government inspired by the United States government, with just the right ingredients for a ♫post-war economic miracle♫. And Japan starts making T.Vs, V.C.R.s, automobiles, and camcorders, as fast as they can, and also better than everybody else. 

They get rich and the economy goes wild. And then the miracle wears off. But everything’s still pretty cool, I guess. 

♫Bye.

Constellations (M)

Summary: He was the president of one of the most notorious fraternities on campus. You had expected him to be the same as his other brothers – a sex-crazed, binge drinking maniac… But the truth ended up surprising you – in more ways than one.

Genre/Warnings: College!AU, Fratboy!Namjoon. It’s pretty much all fluff up until the smut part… Then my trash self happened and added some dirty talking and teasing, along with slightly rough sex. There’s also swearing.

Word Count: 10.7k. (is it too late now to say sorry?)

A/N: IT’S FINALLY DONE!!! I spent the whole fucking day writing this fic and it is now 2:30 A.M and I’m fucking exhausted. I love this fic so much, okay. It literally feels like I put my entire fucking soul into this (although that might just be the sleep talking lol) but I hope you guys like it!!!

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Okay. So I’ve been stiring on this for a while so I finally decided to take a really good look at what’s actually happening.

I’d like to start off by saying that Steve was pretty much a dick the entire film. I mean I get that he didn’t want to sign the accords but the way he went about it was just so completely wrong. Thing is I completely agree with Tony because he had it right because he knew what was going on. I mean, out of the two of them who actually knows the politics of the 21st century and has worked these sorts of things for decades? Tony.

Tony knew, as soon as the Sokovia Accords were made that he had to sign on. It wasn’t about guilt, although that was part of it. It was about the fact that if they didn’t do it now, it would be much worse later and or done to them and he knew that. (He actually says this in the film.) He also knew that the only way to have ammendments was to prove he was willing to cooperate. As with any new law and it’s affected parties.

Tony knew they needed oversight. Everything has some sort of chain of command. Military. Police. Business. Etc. And Tony knew the value of having that chain.

Steve Rogers on the other hand, doesn’t seem to understand the necessity. Need I remind you that he repeatedly went against that chain and was rewarded for it? Sure, he saved a bunch of people when he went to get Bucky, but that’s not the point. He ignored the chain and there could have been dire consequences (as we see in the future after S.H.I.E.L.D fell)

Another thing. He went after Bucky. Only Bucky. Noone else. It was pure chance that he let those guys out first, but they were used as a distraction so he could get to his main goal. Bucky. We see time and time again that Steve gets tunnel vision when it comes to Bucky.

And in Civil War it escalates to the point where he’s injuring and getting innocent people killed for Bucky. Only Bucky. When it comes to Bucky, everyone and everything else is inconsequential and unimportant as long as Bucky is fine.

Steve did not read the Accords. Fact. He left for Peggy’s funeral while he was skimming. Even if he did read it all, there is no possible way (and Tony Stark would bet his fortune on it) that he understood all of it enough to make an informed opinion. Laws use a lot of big words. Big words that would have been invented in the 70 years Cap was gone. So no, Steve didn’t actually know what the Accords were about.

He probably had no idea what the UN was either. Did you see his notebook in CAWS? Pop culture. 7 decades worth of world history? No, Moon landing, that’s it. Politics? Nope. New laws or government organizations (like the UN)? Nada. I think it’s safe to say that Steve wasn’t really caught up if pop culture is the sort of thing he’s catching up on.

Steve had made his mind up already. And he can’t use the Bucky excuse because by then Bucky wasn’t in the picture yet. Steve never gave a thought to the Accords and then Bucky fueled that fire and made him stubborn to a point beyond stupidity.

So, to sum up here. Tony knew that the Accords were going to happen no matter what and was willing to help make ammendments to suit everyone affected by the law. Steve went “Fuck you, I know better that 117 countries” and got a lot of people hurt and or killed.

Here’s another kicker. Tony convinced Steve to sign the Accords. He was literally about to and then Wanda was brought up, which is another thing.

Okay, a) why the fuck is she an Avenger? She was a HYDRA agent. A willing one, might I add. She and her brother volunteered to be experimented on and then work for them. She was the cause of Ultron.

She did mess with his head, and arguably, because it probably was, it was worse for him. He was alone. He didn’t know she was there, then suddenly he’s shown his worst fears mingled with a shit tonn of major PTSD triggers. He probably didn’t even know Wanda gave him the vision. He has PTSD, he’s probably used to attacks where he sees things.

I mean seriously, Tony has made AI’S before and none of them went bad. (DUM-E, U, JARVIS, then FRIDAY) They (Bruce & Tony) even say in AOU “We’re not even close to an interface yet” which means something jumped the mind stone to hijack the incomplete program.

Then you’ve got to think, an AI is made, with incomplete programming and whatever the mind stone did, and then was instantly thrust into the Internet. No wonder he wanted to kill everything. Information overload much, then attempting to make something of it all.

She had(/has) an illogical and unreasonable hatred for Tony Stark. Sure, the bomb thing was probably traumatizing, but she’s like ~23 now. That’s over a decade since it happened and you’ve got to think, why didn’t the bomb go off?

Stark weapons were brilliant. Top of the line never failing basically. So. Two bombs are dropped, and from the sounds of it, there was no explosion or if there was it was really small. Otherwise how could they be so close to her parents without dying too?

So, this leaves two possibilities. First, was the bomb actually Stark tech? Her home was war torn at the time. I’m sure some sides would like to intimidate their enemies with the idea they have Stark weapons. OR, the bomb was never armed. Again, war torn country. It’s entirely possible the plane carrying it was shot down.

So, unreasonable and illogical. If someone stabs you, who do you blame? The knife, the manufacturer/designer of the knife, or the person who stabbed you? The third one, obviously. So why was Tony Stark to blame? We’ve also got to remember Obadiah was dealing under the table.

b) She is NOT a kid, and I don’t understand why pretty much everyone thinks she is. She’s ~23. She can drink. She can vote. She can drive. She’s killed people. She became HYDRA. In what way is she a child? The way I see it she hadn’t been one in a very long time.

c) back to CW. Steve got all pissy because Tony kept Wanda in the compound (the lap of luxury need I remind you) for her own safety and the safety of those around her. It wasn’t a matter of her starting a fight. If she’d gone out and been attacked and defended herself, the situation would be made so much worse for her. Especially if someone got hurt or dead when she did so.

Now we get to the airport. Tony tries to talk. Steve is dismissive and unwilling to listen. Steve refuses to share vital information that would have helped the situation and the threat they had every reason to believe exists.

Steve starts the fight. His team doesn’t hold back like Tony’s does. They destroy a lot of property and nearly killed T'Challa and Spiderman several times. I mean, fuck you Steve, who just drops a huge heavy walkway create thing on someone who is obviously a teen? And then WALK AWAY while they struggle to hold it up. What if you had overestimated Spiderman’s strength? Congrats, you just killed a kid because once again you show no regard for anyone else besides Bucky.

He leaves his team. They probably knew even less about the situation than he did, because he knew fuck all about the Accords so I can’t imagine the bullshit Scott and Clint were told.

Then fucking Natasha. Ffs, she could have easily either disabled/sabotaged the quinjet or delayed them from leaving. But she didn’t. Then she has the nerve to tell Tony to watch his back after she betrayed him.

Also, Rhodey. Oh my god. Everyone gives Tony shit for point blank shooting Sam, but think about it. If Sam had taken the hit and turned into a glider, Rhodey would be fine. It doesn’t completely make sense, but there was a long moment where Tony was watching Rhodey fall to his death. Sam was a quick way to lash out. He also didn’t hit him that hard, just enough to knock him down.

Zoom ahead, Tony gets evidence that prove Bucky is innocent and admits he was wrong. (About what though I’m not sure, because all he wanted to do was give Bucky mental help and a fair trial but whatever. It’s not like Steve told him about the threat or anything. Because that would have been helpful.)

Clint makes a crack at Rhodey’s condition which is such a dick move. Sam then tells Tony the information he should have been given from the beginning by Mr ‘I-Dont-like-my-team-keeping-things-from-me’ Rogers. Tony heads to Siberia as a friend.

Steve gets a little arrogant cause he’s got this attitude of ‘I knew I was right the whole time and I’m glad you’ve finally seen sense’.

Then the video. This pissed me off the most I think.

You’ve just witnessed your parents brutally murdered by the person standing not 10 feet away from you. This reopens unprocessed greif and causes emotional backlash. Then you find out someone you thought of as a friend had known. Known for years. Since CAWS. And never said a thing in an environment where it would have been okay, instead of watching the murder and then being told someone close to you knew the whole time who had done it. (Again because it was Bucky. Bucky is more important than the world, remember?)

And his face. It’s so broken and betrayed. (I’d add a picture of Tumblr would let me) and he attacks, because who wouldn’t?

And then Steve does the worst possible thing he could in that situation. Fight back. When someone is having an emotional breakdown like that, you hold them until they calm down and Steve was well within his power to do so. If he’d tried he probably could have talked Tony down.

Fighting more fighting. Steve starts disabling the suit. To you can no longer fly properly. Then he proceeds to continue to be violent and make it worse and acts like it’s not a justifiable or reasonable reaction for a human to have (especially one with PTSD and a past of horrible things happening when he’s betrayed by someone close to him)

They gang up on him. Then Bucky had him pinned and is trying to rip out the Arc Reactor. Once again, PTSD. Also, need I remind you that he’s only recently had it removed from his chest. That was the only thing keeping him alive for a long time. In the state of mind he was in, he wouldn’t have remembered he no longer needed it to survive, hence blasting off his metal arm.

By this point he seems to have calmed down a bit and isn’t actively going for the kill, he’s just defending himself at this point.

He tells Cap to stay down, because he doesn’t want to fight him, and when he’s momentarily distracted Cap jumps on him and slams him to the ground. Tony barely does anything and then Steve is punching the faceplate. Then he’s smashing it with the sheild.

There’s this moment, you can kinda see it in the 3 secs of gif tumblr would let me use. There’s this moment where Steve is seriously considering decapitation. Tony sees this, is terrified and emotionally unbalanced and covers his face.

Steve slams the sheild into the reactor and leaves it there. Tony goes wide eyed with terror and let’s out a very not good sounding breath. He’s looking at Cap with such fear because he saw what Steve was about to do. Saw him stab him in the back and literally break his heart. (Kept him alive for years, remember?)

There is so much fear and Steve looks at him with no regret for what he just did and twists the sheild out of Tony’s chest and walks away.

When he drops it, his expression is like indulging a child in something stupid.

Then he leaves him there to die basically. Tony can’t fly, the suit is dead. Can’t contact anyone. The suit is dead. Noone knows where he is and T'Challa took Steve and Bucky with him when he left.

Steve Rogers beat Tony to a pulp after he witnessed something truly traumatizing and then left him to die in the middle of nowhere in an old HYDRA base.

They act like it was Tony’s fault for the Raft as well. I mean, they’re powered and dangerous and also criminals. The Raft was a bit much though, I’ll admit. But Tony didn’t put them there. He brought them in because he was following the law like everyone else on the planet should. Because he didn’t think himself above the law the Steve did. (Aka flipping the bird at 117 countries whose people say they’re scared and what someone to oversee the Avengers) and the jacket and collar on Wanda was unethical. I think the collar on its own would have been fine but wearing a straitjacket for too long is really bad for your health.

And then just to put the icing on the cake. The letter. The damn fucking letter. It’s mocking. It’s arrogant. Not once is there an apology or true regret. Other than regretting that they’re now criminals who hurt so many people that is. But mostly just the fact they have to hide when 'they did nothing wrong’. No remorse for anything. Not for Tony, defiantly not. That would be decent. Not for anyone else either.

“I know I hurt you”. That’s not an apology. There was no mention of the destruction he left behind in his quest for saving a single man, who has killed people. A lot of people. By choice or not, it was still his body. His life was not worth the loss of so many innocent lives. There was no acknowledgement of how deeply you hurt Tony. How much you damaged him.

Steve basically says. “I forgive you for being wrong and because I’m such a nice and just person when you see I’m right I’ll be here for you and all will be forgiven. Because we’re still friends/family. Even if you fucked up.”

Argh. Angry ranting at 2am. I’ve probably missed points I wanted to make but my wrists are cramping and I’m tired.

I just… I used to like Steve, but Tony a little more because he always seemed more relatable to me. (And had a more interesting backstory.) And then this movie just made me hate Cap so much. He was such a dick in it and it annoys me that the movie was obviously trying to get you to side with him. Feel free to add anything to this.

nurseydex royalty au
  • instead of being from Maine, Dex’s family is actually royalty from a small country just outside of America’s east coast with about a million citizens.
  • Dex is born Fitzwilliam Jacob Poindexter II after his mother’s father and is third to the throne after his mother and brother.
  • being the third in line comes with responsibilities much like his brother, but without all of the public recognition, and he has to go through the same kind of grueling education of political wits, charming diplomacy, and easy-going social skills.
  • Dex never did well with the latter. he knew how to talk about his passions and what interested him, how to talk with people he cared for and if they had something important to say. but he hated small talk, never understood why he had to stand around in a room full of people he wasn’t going to see again talking about the weather when he could literally be doing anything else.
  • but he managed, and his advisers all agreed he would make a fine king if tragedy would succumb his brother.
  • so Dex gets that the crown prince’s primary goal is to marry and somehow produce an heir who can further the republic.
  • which is why he politely waits until his brother’s engaged and well on his way of becoming the next regent before he tells his parents that he’s gay.

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why a sana season will be AMAZING

sana bakkoush was my first favourite character on the show, as it was the iconic first bus meeting in ep3 of s1 that really sold me on this show! this post is really just all my positive thoughts and feels about my girl sana possibly getting a season and it is waaay too long, but it turns out i love sana a lot ok?? ok:

  • probably most important: a muslim hijabi girl as a main character. 
    • amazing representation that young hijabi girls deserve. 
    • also in the current political climate in europe and the us, this is so important
    • the show is and should be targeted at norwegian teens, and muslim girls are a group of norwegian teens that are rarely represented in our media
    • i want to know more about sanas relationship with islam, what does it mean to her? we know a bit and i would love to know more
    • also related to that, how does islam fit into norwegian cultures and traditions and how sana interacts with that?
    • im a culture nerd, literally that is what i study atm, so: culture in our global multicultural society is ever-changing and closely related to our identities and how chose to take part in different communities. sana is a perfect character to explore this: 
      • obviously, she choses to wear the hijab which right away signals to others her faith
      • she doesnt want to drink or hook up, her faith is more important
      • but she actively wants to take part in a russebuss, a tradition very closely related to some of those things she isnt interested in
      • she also wears the traditional costume of norway, either bunad or festdrakt
      • basically, sana is representative of so many people in our society today, who challenge the outdated way many people think about culture as something static and clearly defined (looking directly at some right wing politicians in norway, who talk like they only know the 1960s definitions of culture)
    • the show smacking down on islamophobia - i am READY to see that on my screen and on the most popular show in norway atm
    • the lovely @imansmeskinis​ wrote a very good post about things she wants to see explored wrt sana and islam, if you haven’t: read it!!
  • and obviously: more sana - who is undeniably a Badass character who has had some of the best moments of this show tbh
    • when she took over that first bus meeting, with a “well-functioning plan”, leaving all the girls shook and very ????? and sana goes: “i think this well good..” with that knowing look. ICONIC SCENE imo
    • that time she apparently asked one of the penetrator guys if his nose was bigger than his dick!!???”!?
    • actually got at least vilde and eva to believe that her hijab was magical, that she was psychic and that she could see the ghost of kasper lol
    • getting the guys’ weed out of evas house while the police was there, then use it to blackmail isak into going to kosegruppa while still keeping 10% of the drugs, because it’s “good to have”
    • wrapping said 10% as a christmas gift for isak
    • what a legend!!
    • imagine a season where every clip has the potential for this level of greatness!

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SnK Chapter 98 Poll Results

The chapter 98 poll closed with a record 1,771 responses. Thank you to everyone for participating. 

 
RATE THE CHAPTER

(1,711 RESPONSES)

If you disliked this chapter, you were very much in the minority. Only 1% of respondents rated it poorly. Satisfaction with recent Marley chapters have been generally positive, but this is the highest rating since we started the poll.

This chapter was so fire I had to call 911 after I read it

Goddamned life ruining basements.

Sadly, SNK is eventually going to end, and having taken the time to properly explain its unique universe and its characters will that day leave to this world the completed masterpiece it has the potential to be

I gasped during the “I’m Dr. Yeagar’” scene, but I almost threw my phone from excitement from the “Hey, it’s been 4 years huh Reiner.” I was one of the people that thought I wouldn’t care for the young Warriors, but damn, this chapter won me over. Especially Falco. The awesome character building scenes, the mystery behind Tybur & Magath, the attitude’s of the vet Warriors, and Eren’s new shred of awesomeness made this one of my favorite chapters.

Magath is still making me wet with his humanity, Willy needs a hug and some Hellos D, I can’t believe the East Sea Clan is actually a thing (eeeek) and if Falco gets hurt I will die. Also where’s Annie.

I think the entire chapter could be my favorite moment.

Willy and Magath vs Levi for clean house?

When Jaegerbowl became SUPER JAEGER BROTHERS, GET HYPE EVERYBODY

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psychic: reads my mind
me: japan is an island by the sea filled with volcanoes and it’s ♫ beautiful ♫ in the year negative a billion japan might not’ve been here. in the year negative 40,000 it was here. and you could walk to it. and some people walked to it. then it got warmer, some icebergs melted, it became an island and now there’s lots of ~trees~ (because it’s warmer.) so now there’s people on  the island, they’re basically sort of hanging out in between the mountains eating nuts off trees and using the latest technology. like stones. and bowls. ding dong, it’s the outside world and they have technology from the future. like really good metal. and crazy rice farms. now you can make a lot of rice really really quickly. that means if you own the farm, you own a lot of food, which is something everybody needs to /survive/. so that makes you king. rice farming and rice kingdoms spread across the land, all the way to here. the most important kingdoms were here, here, here, here, here, here and here. but this one was the most most important, ruled by a “heavenly superperson”, called emperor for short. knock knock. get the door, it’s religion. the new prince wants everyone to try this hot new religion from baekje. “please try this religion,” he said. “no,” said everybody. “try it,” he said. “no,” said everybody again, quieter this time. and so the religion was put into place, and all the rules that came with it. then the government was taken over by another clique, and they made some reforms, like making the government govern more, and making the government more like china’s government, which is a government that governs more. “hi china,” they said. “hi dipshit,” said china. “can you call us something else, other than dipshit?” said japan. “like what?” said china. “♫ how about sunrise land? ♫” said japan. and they stole china’s alphabet and wrote a book. about themselves. and then they made lots of poetry and art and another book about themselves. then they stopped moving the capital every time the emperor died and kept it in one place for a while. right here. and they conquered the north finally, get that squared away. a rich hipster named kukai is bored with modern buddhism, visits china and learns a better version which is more ~spiritual~ comes back, reinvents the alphabet and causes art and literature to be ~great~ for a long time. and the royal palace turned into such a dream world of art that they really didn’t give a shit about running the country. so if you live outside the palace, how are you supposed to protect your shit from criminals? ♫ hire a samurai ♫ everyone started hiring samurai. (correction: rich important people hired samurai. poor people who could not afford to hire samurai did not hire samurai.) the samurai became organized and powerful, more powerful than the government. so they made their own military government, here. they let the emperor still be “emperor”, but the shogun is actually in control. BREAKING NEWS the Mongols have invaded China. “we’ve invaded china,” said the mongols. “please respect us, or else we might invade you as well.” “okay,” said japan. so the mongols came over, ready for war, and died in a tornado. but they tried again, and had a nice time fighting with the japanese but then died in a tornado. then the emperor overthrows the shogunate, then the shogunate overthrows him back and moves to kyoto and makes a new shogunate. and the emperor can still dress like an emperor if he wants, that’s fine. ♫ now there’s more art ♫ like painting with less colors, collaborative poetry, plays, monkey fun, tea parties, gardening, architecture, flowers. it’s time for who’s going to be the next shogun? usually it’s the shogun’s kid. but the shogun doesn’t have a kid, so he tries to get his brother to quit being a monk and be the next shogun. he says ok. but then the shogun has a kid. so now who’s it gonna be? vote now on your phones. and everyone voted so hard that the palace caught on fire and burned down. the shogun actually didn’t care, he was off somewhere doing poetry. and the whole country broke into pieces. everyone is fighting with each other for local power, and it’s anybody’s game. knock knock. it’s europe. no, they’re not here to take over (yet) they just wanna sell some shit. like clocks. and guns. and ~jesus~. so that’s cool, but everyone’s still fighting with each other for control. now with guns!! and wouldn’t it be nice to control the capital, which right now is puppets, with no one controlling them? this clan is ready to make a run for it, but first they have to trample this smaller clan which is in the way. surprise, the smaller clan wins, and the leader of that clan steals the idea of invading the capital, and invades the capital, and it goes very well. he’s about halfway through conquering japan when someone who works for him kills him, and then someone else who works for him kills them. and that guy finishes conquering japan. and then he confiscated everybody’s swords and made some rules. “and now i’m going to invade korea, and then hopefully china,” he said and failed, and also died. but before he died, he told these five guys to take care of his 5 year old son until he’s old enough to be the next ruler of japan. and the five guys said “Yeah, Right. it’s not gonna be this kid. it’s gonna be one of Us. cuz we’re /grownups/.” and it’s probably gonna be this guy who happens to be way more rich and powerful than the others. a lot of people support him, but a lot of people support not supporting him. they have a fight, and he wins, and starts a new government, right here ~Edo~ and he still lets the emperor dress like an emperor and have very nice things. but don’t get confused. this is the new government, and they are very strict. so strict they closed the country. no one can leave, and no one can come in. except for the dutch, if they want to buy and sell shit, but they have to do it right here. now that the entire country was not at war with itself the population increased a lot. business increased, schools were built, roads were built, everyone learned to read, books were published, there was poetry, plays, sexy times, puppet shows, and dutch studies. people started to study european science from books they bought from the dutch. we’re talking geography, skeletons, physics, chemistry, astronomy, maybe even electricity. over time, the economic and cultural prosperity began to gradually slow down- knock knock. it’s the United States. with huge boats. (with guns) (gunboats) “open the country. stop having it be closed.” said the united states. there’s really nothing they could do, so they signed a contract that lets united states, britain and russia visit japan anytime they want. choshu and satsuma hated this. “that sucks.” they said. “this sucks!!!!” and with almost very little outside help, they overthrew the shogunate, and somehow made the emperor the emperor again, and moved him to edo which they renamed eastern capital. they made a new government which was “a lot more western”. they made a new constitution that was pretty western and a military that was pretty western. and do you know what else is western? that’s right, it’s conquering stuff. so what can we conquer? korea. they conquer korea, taking it from its previous owner china, and then go a little bit further. and russia rushes in out of nowhere and says “stop, no, you can’t take that. we were gonna build a railroad through here to try to get some warm water.” and russia builds their railroad, supervised by a shit ton of soldiers. and then when the railroad was done they downgraded to a fuck ton. (did i say downgrade? i meant upgrade.) and japan says “can you maybe chill?” and russia says “How About Maybe You Chill?” japan’s kinda scared of russia. you’ll never guess who’s also kinda scared of russia. great britain. so japan and great britain make an alliance together so they can be “a little less scared of Russia”. feeling confident, japan goes to war against russia, just for a moment, and then they both get tired and stop. ♫ it’s time for World War 1 ♫ The World is about to Have A War because it’s the 1900’s and weapons are getting crazy, and all these empires are excited to try them out on each other. meanwhile japan has been enjoying conquering stuff and wants m o r e and the next thing on our list is this part of china and lots of tiny islands. all that stuff belongs to germany, which has just had war declared on them by britain, because britain was friends with belgium, which is being trespassed by germany in order to get to france to kick france’s ass because france is friends with russia who is getting ready to kick austria’s ass because austria is getting ready to kick serbia’s ass because someone from serbia shot the leader of austria’s ass. (er, actually shot him in the head.) and britain is currently friends with japan, so you know what that means? duh. ♫ japan should take the islands ♫ which they wanted to do anyway. so they called britain on the tele to sort of let them know. and then they did it. and they also helped britain a little here and there with some errands and stuff. now the war is over and congratulations japan you technically fought in the war which means you get to sit at the negotiating table with the big dudes where they decided who owns what. and yes, japan gets to keep all that shit they stole from germany. you also get to join the post-war mega alliance ♫ the League of Nations ♫ whose mission statement is to try not to take over the world. the great depression is bad and japan’s economy is now crappy. but the military is doing just fine and it invades manchuria. and the League of Nations is like “no, don’t do that, if you’re in the league of nations you’re not supposed to take over the world!” but japan said ♫ how bout i do anyway? ♫ and japan invaded more and more and more and more of china and was planning to invade the entire east. You’ve Got Mail it’s from germany. the new leader of germany. he has a cool moustache and is trying to take over the world and needs friends. this also got forwarded to italy, and they all decided to be friends because they have so much in common. ♫ it’s time for World War 2 ♫ (the sequel) germany is invading the neighbors. then they invade the neighbor’s neighbors. then the neighbor’s neighbor’s neighbors, who happened to be britain said “holy shit” and the united states started helping britain because they are ♫ good friends ♫ and started not helping japan because ♫ their friends and our friends are not friends ♫ ♫ plus they’re planning on invading the entire ocean ♫ the united states is also working on a large very huge bomb, bigger than any other bomb, ever™, just in case. but they still haven’t joined the war. war looks bad on tv, and the united states is really starting to care about their image. but then japan spits on them in hawaii and challenges them to war, and they say yes. and then germany, as a symbol of friendship, declares war on the united states also, and so the united states goes to war in europe. and they help the gang chase germany back in to germany, and they also start chasing japan back into japan. and they haven’t used the bomb yet, and are curious to see if it works, so they drop it on japan. they actually drop two. united states installed a new government inspired by the united states government with just the right ingredients for a ♫ post-war economic miracle ♫ and japan starts making tvs, vcrs automobiles and camcorders as fast as they can and also better than everybody else. they get rich and the economy goes wild and then the miracle wears off but everything’s still pretty cool i guess ♫ bye ♫
psychic: what the fuck

Transcription of “history of japan”

welcome to my night, where i basically sat down for a whole hour typing this entire thing down. wtf am i even doing. 

———

Japan is an island by the sea, filled with volcanos and its 

♪ beautiful 

In the year negative a billion; Japan might not have been here.

In the year negative forty thousand; it was here and you could walk to it, and some people walked to it.
Then it got warmer some icebergs melted and it became an island, and now theres lots of 

♪ trees ♪

because its warmer. 

So now there’s people on the island that’s basically just hanging out in between the mountains, eating nuts off trees and using the latest technology like 

stones and bowls.

Ding dong ♪

It’s the outside world and they have technology from the future like, really good metal and crazy rice farms. 

Now you can make a lot of rice, really, really quickly. 

That means if you own a farm

you own a lot of food,

which is something everybody needs to 

SURVIVE. 

So that makes you king. 

Rice farming and rice kingdoms spread across the land all the way to here.

The most important kingdoms were,

  • here
  • here
  • here
  • here
  • here, 
  • here 
  • and here.

But this one was the most, most important.

Ruled by a heavenly superperson 

or Emperor for short. 

knock knock.  

get the door,  its 

♪ religion

The new prince wants everyone to try this hot new religion from

Baekje.

Please try this religion.” he said. 

No” said everybody.

♪ Try it ♪”  he said.

“No” said everybody again, quieter this time. 

And so, the religion was put into place and all the rules that came with it. 

Then the government was taken over by another clique and they made some reforms like,

  • making the Government govern more. 
  • And making the Government more like China’s Government, which is a Government that governs more. 

“Hi China.” they said.

”Hi dipshit.” said China.

can you call us something else other than dipshit?” said Japan. 

Like what?” said China.

♪How about sunrise land ♪” said Japan. 

And they stole China’s alphabet and wrote a book. 

‘bout themselves. 

And then they made lots of poetry and art and another book about themselves.

Then they stopped moving the capital every time the emperor died and kept it in one place for awhile. 

~right here~

and they conquered the north, finally. 

Get that squared away.

A rich hipster named Kukai is bored with modern buddhism, visits China and learns a better version which is more  

♪Spiritual

comes back, reinvents the alphabet and causes art and literature to be  

♪great

for a long time.  

And the royal palace turned into such a dream world of art that they really didn’t give a shit about running the country.  

So if you lived outside the palace how are you supposed to protect your shit, from criminals

♪ h i r e   a   s a m u r a i  ♪

Everyone started hiring Samurai. 

  • rich, important people hired samurai.
  • poor people who could not afford to hire samurai did not hire samurai

The samurai became organised and powerful. 

More powerful than the government. 

So they made their own military government 

~here~ 

They let the “Emperor” still be “Emperor” but the Shogun is actually in control. 

Breaking news! 

The Mongols have invaded China!

We’ve invaded China.” said the Mongols. “Please respect us or else we might invade you as well.

okay.” said Japan. 

So the Mongols came over, ready for war and– 

died in a tornado(typhoon). 

But they tried again, and had a nice time fighting with the Japanese but then– 

died in a tornado(typhoon). 

Then the Emperor overthrows the Shogunate and Shogunate overthrows them back and moves to Kyoto and makes a new Shogunate. 

And the “Emperor” can still dress like an Emperor if he wants. 

That’s fine. 

♪ now there’s more art  

  • like painting with less colours 
  • collaborative poetry
  • plays
  • monkey fun
  • tea parties 
  • gardening 
  • architecture
  • FLOWERS.

its time for– 

~who’s going to be the next shogun?~

Usually its the Shogun’s kid.
But the Shogun doesn’t have a kid so he tries to get his brother to quit being a Monk and be the next Shogun.  

He says “ok"

But then shogun has a kid. 

So now who’s it gonna be?

~vote now on your phones!~

And everyone voted so hard that the palace caught on fire and burned down. 

The Shogun actually didn’t care

he was off somewhere doing poetry. 

And the whole country broke into pieces.
Everyone is fighting with each other for local power and 

its anybody’s game.

knock knock. 

its Europe. 

No, they’re not here to take over (yet)
They just wanna sell some shit, like clocks and guns

and ♪ Jesus

so thats cool.  

but everyone’s still fighting each other for control. 

~now with guns~

and wouldn’t it be nice to control the capital?  
Which right now is puppets with no one controlling them

This clan is ready to make a run for it.
But first, they have to trample this smaller clan which is in the way.  

~surprise~

smaller clan wins and the leader of that clan steals the idea of invading the capital and invades the capital and it goes very well.  

He’s about halfway through conquering Japan when someone who works for him, kills him and then someone else who works for him, kills them 

and that guy finishes conquering Japan.  

and then he confiscated everybody’s swords, and made some rules.  

“and now I’m going to invade Korea, and then hopefully China” 

he said and failed and also died.  

But before he died he told these five guys to take care of his five year old son until he’s old enough to be the next ruler of japan

And the five guys said,  

“yeah, right. its not gonna be this kid, its gonna be one of us, cuz we’re grown ups.“ 

And it’s probably gonna be this guy who happens to be way more rich and powerful than the others. 

A lot of people support him but a lot of people support not supporting him. They have a fight, and he wins and starts a new Government

right here. 

♪ Edo

and he still lets the Emperor dress like an “Emperor” and have very nice things. But don’t get confused, this is the new government and they’re very strict. 

So strict they closed the country

No one can leave and no one can come in

Except for the dutch because they wanna buy and sell shit but they have to do it right here

Now that the entire country is not at war with itself,
the population increased a lot. 

  • business increased 
  • schools were built
  • roads were built 
  • everyone learnt to read
  • books were published 
  • there was poetry
  • plays
  • sexy times
  • puppet shows 

and dutch studies.

People started to study European science from books they bought from the Dutch

we’re talking– 

  • geography, 
  • skeletons, 
  • physics, 
  • chemistry, 
  • astronomy,  
  • and maybe even electricity. 

Over time the economic and cultural prosperity began to gradually slow do–

knock knock. 

its the united states.
with huge boats with guns, 

gunboats. 

“open the country. Stop having it be closed.”
said the United States. 

Theres really nothing they could do so they signed a contract that lets United States, Britain and Russia visit Japan anytime they want. 

Chōshū and Satsuma hated this. 

“that sucks.” they said. 

“this sucks!!!!” 

And with almost very little outside help, they overthrew the shogunate and somehow made the emperor the emperor again and moved him to Edo which they renamed, Eastern Capital

they made a new government which was a lot more western. 

they made a new constitution that was pretty western. 

and a military that was pretty western. 

And did you know what else was western?
Thats right, its conquering stuff. 

So what can we conquer?
Korea, they conquered Korea. 

Taking it from its previous owner, China.
and then go a little bit further and Russia rushes in out of nowhere and says, 

“stop, no, you can’t take that.
We were gonna build a railroad through here to try to get some warm water.” 

and Russia builds their railroad supervised by a shit ton of soldiers. 

and then when the railroad was done they downgraded to a fuck ton. 

Did i say downgrade?

I meant upgrade. 

And Japan says, 

“can you maybe chill?”

and russia says, 

“How About Maybe You Chill?” 

Japan is kinda scared of Russia.
You’ll never guess who’s also kinda scared of Russia. 

Great Britain. 

So Japan and Great Britain make an alliance together so they can be 

a little less scared of Russia. 

Feeling confident, Japan goes to war against Russia.
Just for a moment.
and then they both get tired and stop. 

♪ it’s time for World War 1 

The World is about to -Have A War-

Because its the nineteen hundreds and weapons are getting crazy.
and all these Empires are excited to try them out on each other. 

Meanwhile Japan has been enjoying conquering stuff and wants– 

more. 

and the next thing on their list is this part of China and lots of tiny islands

And all of that stuff belongs to Germany which just had war declared on by Britain because Britain is friends with Belgium which is being trespassed by Germany in order to get to France to kick France’s ass because France is friends with Russia who is getting ready to kick Austria’s ass because Austria is getting ready to kick Serbia’s ass because someone from Serbia shot the leader of Austria’s ass or– 

actually shot on the head. 

and Britain is currently friends with Japan so you know what that means. 

Duh, ♪ Japan should take the islands 

which they wanted to do anyway. 

So they called Britain on the tele(gram) to sort of let them know.
and then they did it, and they also helped Britain a little here and there with some errands and stuff. 

Now the war is over. 

Congratulations japan!

You technically fought in the war, which means you get to sit at the negotiating table with the big dudes where they decided who owns what. 

And yes, Japan gets to keep all that shit they stole from Germany, you also get to join the, Post-War Mega alliance– 

♪ the League of Nations 

Whose mission statement is to try not to take over the world. 

The great depression is bad and Japan’s economy is now crappy.  
But the military is doing just fine and it invades Manchuria and the league of nation’s just like– 

“No don’t do that, if you’re in the league of nations you’re not supposed to take over the world.”  

and Japan said “♪ How bout I do anyway? ” 

And Japan invaded more and more and more and, more of China.  

and was planning to invade the entire east!

~You got mail~

Its from Germany.
the new leader of Germany,
he has a cool moustache
and he’s trying to take over the world

and needs friends. 

This also got forwarded to Italy, 

they all decided to be friends because they had so much in common. 

♪ it’s time for World War 2 

Germany is invading the neighbours.
Then they invade the neighbour’s neighbours.
Then the neighbour’s neighbour’s neighbours who happened to be Britain said, “holy shiit”
and United States started helping Britain because they are  

♪ good friends 

and started not helping Japan because  

♪ their friends and our friends are not friends 

plus they’re planning on invading the entire ocean 

The united states is also working on a large very huge bomb.

bigger than any other bomb, ever™.  

Just in case.  

But they still haven’t joined the war.  
War looks bad on TV and united states has really started to care about their image. 

But then Japan spits on them in Hawaii,

and challenges them to war. 

and they say yes, and then Germany

as a symbol of friendship, 

declares war on the United States also.  

So the United States goes to war in Europe.
and they help the gang chase Germany back into Germany.  
and they also start chasing Japan back into Japan.
And they haven’t used the bomb yet and are curious to see if it works.  

So they dropped it on japan.  

they actually dropped two. 

United States installed a new Government, inspired by the United States Government.  
with just the right ingredients for a 

♪ post-war economic miracle 

And Japan starts making  

  • TVs  
  • VCRs
  • automobiles 
  • and camcorders 

as fast as they can and also better than everybody else.

they get rich and the economy goes wild and then the miracle wears off.

But everything’s still pretty cool i guess. 

♪ bye 

——–

i did it. Thank you Bill Wurtz for this wonderful masterpiece. 

BECAUSE–

also p.s.: i sincerely apologise if someone has already made a whole transcript of this. pls u can hire a samurai against me if u wan 2 ;A;

lee daehwi first meeting! AU

summary: in which you are somi’s best friend and you find out that she has a hidden twin brother who you are a fan of 

length: 1.3k

a/n: HIHI so i decided to start a new series which is gonna be a sweet and short one called first meeting! AU with the wanna one members. since it’s really only going to cover your first meeting with the particular member, it’s up to you whether you want to interpret it as romantically or platonic friendship, maybe if the context suits and i get enough requests i could do a part 2 for some in the future? we’ll see but i will be prioritising getting each member done first. but anyways i hope you guys enjoy this first one of my precious baby lee daehwi and look forward to the rest of the members :) 

Originally posted by hitoritabi

  • so you’re in high school 
  • and ever since high school started you became best friends with a girl called somi 
  • you guys had different personalities, you were more on the shy side and she was more outgoing 
  • but somehow you guys clicked and found that you guys had a lot of things to talk about and common interests 
  • also during this time produce 101 is airing and you’re absolutely addicted to the show 
  • and lee daehwi, the first centre literally swooped you off your feet 
  • he was no doubt your bias and you’d been voting for him like crazy everyday 
  • and ofc since somi was your best friend you’d always rant about how cute and talented lee daehwi was and somi would just sigh and roll her eyes sometimes 
  • well one day at school your class is given a project to be completed in pairs and obviously you and somi are a pair 
  • usually you two would complete your work at the library but since the weather was really horrible 
  • you guys decided to head to your place over the weekend 
  • and you guys do that except you dont get the work done 
  • so you guys decide to go to somi’s place sometime after school next week to finish it 
  • and tbh you’ve been very curious about where somi lives
  • even though you guys are best friends you guys always met either in public or at your place
  • you were just super curious as to what her house was like and why she was lowkey secretive about where she lived
  • hMMMMMM
  • so the day before going to somi’s place
  • you guys are having lunch at school and somi is suddenly like: “oh y/n when you come tomorrow, my twin brother will most likely be home visiting” 
  • and u r like
  • “WAIT HANG ON A SECNOD U HAVE A TWIN BROTHER?? SINCE WHEN???” you semi yell when you stand up from your seat 
  • you are surprised and shocked bc ur friend has a twin brother and she never told you 
  • “ssHHHHH be quiet” says somi gesturing you to sit back down 
  • and so you do and say
  • “how come you didnt tell me somi?” while pouting 
  • “well…i guess you never asked whether i had siblings or not” replies somi nervously 
  • “hmm yeah fair enough, well what its like having a twin brother? what’s he like” you ask excitedly
  • you’d  never met anyone that had a twin before and u suddenly find out that your best friend in fact has a twin brother which makes you feel kinda weird and excited 
  • “it’s alright, we’re just like any other sibling pair, he can be slightly annoying sometimes but he’s a good brother overall. i miss him” replies somi looking down 
  • “ohhhhh where is he? does he go to high school here?” you asked wondering if somi’s twin was actually at your school and completely hidden from u 
  • “no he doesn’t”
  • “where does he go then? and what’s his name? what does he look like?” you asked bombarding somi with questions as you were super curious now
  • since somi was one of the prettiest girls in the school you were lowkey thinking maybe somi’s twin is really hot HAHA
  • “i actually can’t say his name but he’s really ugly” says somi laughing
  • “why not????” you ask somi, “is he a spy or something?? with a hidden identity???” 
  • somi shook her head laughing at you as you continued to pester her about her twin 
  • “you’ll see tomorrow when you come over” says somi “i think things might change when you see who it is” as she sighs
  • now you were C U R I O U S as to why somi kept it so secret 
  • and for some odd reason, who somi’s twin brother was was all you thought about for the rest of the day 
  • your thoughts went wild as you thought, what if he’s actually a spy? or illegal? a criminal? someone dangerous? what if he’s the youngest ceo in our country?
  • and for some seriously odd reason you were excited to meet somi’s twin brother 
  • the next day you head to somi’s house with the address typed in google maps 
  • you rang the doorbell and somi opened the door
  • as you stepped in you saw how the house wasn’t too big nor was it too small it was quite spacious and clean and very cozy 
  • you saw some baby pictures placed up on a shelf of somi and her twin; you recognised somi easily and the twin brother was really cute too 
  • you guys take a seat on the big couch and start working on the project when suddenly you hear footsteps come down the stairs 
  • you were super focused on your work tbh so you didn’t look up 
  • until a voice says 
  • “hey sis is this your friend that always talks about me?” 
  • and the voice is SO FAMILIAR 
  • and you’re suddenly afraid to look up 
  • you do recognise that voice but no way it just couldn’t be 
  • silence 
  • “yep it is” says somi, “look at the state she is in now” 
  • your entire body was frozen and wouldn’t react and you were looking at the ground
  • “she’s so cute like that” says the voice
  • you feel your cheeks go bright red and your heart suddenly beating extraordinarily fast 
  • you close your eyes and tell yourself you are dreaming 
  • you take a deep breath and look up 
  • and you are met with a pair of the most gorgeous eyes you have ever seen; one eye was monolid and the other was double lidded but honestly that was what was attractive about him 
  • it was truly lee daehwi lmao sorry i made it so so dramatic haha
  • he was smiling down at your with the sweetest and cutest smile 
  • “hello y/n! it’s nice to finally meet you!” says daehwi cheerfully 
  • “u-h-h hello– daehwi-ssi” you stutter nervously as you die internally 
  • daehwi laughed and his laughter was like a beautiful melody
  • “no need to be formal y/n, we’re the same age! you don’t look great right now, i’ll grab a glass of water for you” says daehwi as he heads to the kitchen 
  • when he’s gone you turn to somi straight away 
  • “DUDE WHY DIDNT U TELL ME DAEHWI WAS UR BROTHER?? i wouldn’t have fangirled over him to you and its sooooo embarrassing” 
  • “chill y/n it was actually pretty funny, you totally have a crush on my twin, look at ur face” says somi laughing 
  • “sTOP omg this is all ur fault im so embarrassed, i embarrassed myself in front of my bias” you say as your bury your face in your hands
  • “seriously y/n this is your chance to talk to him and i don’t usually say this about that idiot but he’s actually a very nice guy, so don’t be nervous anymore” 
  • you take deep breaths and try to collect yourself before daehwi comes back 
  • when he does you’re much calmer even though you still feel like you are living in a dream 
  • “here’s your water” says daehwi as he hands over the glass of water
  • both your finger trips lightly made contact and you felt your heart racing again 
  • “thanks daehwi” you say giving him a shy smile 
  • he asks what the project is about and starts helping you guys and in no time you guys are done 
  • and daehwi is super friendly and outgoing so in no time you get really comfortable around him
  • and realise that HES JUST A REALLY NICE AND KIND HUMAN like any human and not some “far unreachable star that’s like a god” 
  • you find out he has cute habits and loves cleaning and fashion and wants to make people happier through his music
  • you guys talk for the next two hours getting to know each other and you tell him that you’ll continue to support him on produce 101 and he’s super thankful 
  • at this rate somi had literally fallen asleep and is taking a nap on the sofa 
  • he opens up about how it’s hard to meet people’s expectations and that he doesn’t want to disappoint others and you guys have really deep conversations 
  • and in no time it’s already dark outside 
  • and daehwi even offers to walk you to the bus stop 
  • and he puts on a black hoodie with the hood up just in case ppl recognise him anyone watching school 2017 bc i love x’s outfit hehe
  • you guys reach the bus stop
  • “y/n it was nice meeting you and i was able to get my mind off things thanks to you” 
  • “no worries daehwi, i’m so glad to have met you and you’re just as wonderful and kind as i’d imagined you to be” you reply cringing at your own cheesiness
  • daehwi laughs again as he ruffles your hair “you’re so kind too” 
  • “anyways y/n will you do me a favour and not tell anyone that i am somi’s twin? i dont want things to get hard for her if people know about our sibling relationship” 
  • you swoon, he was even so nice to his sister 
  • you nod “of course”
  • the bus comes and you guys wave goodbye 
  • you couldn’t believe that you met daehwi and got so close to him 
  • he was so nice and down to earth 
  • you lowkey wondered if you’d ever be able to see him again since he was already famous and busy with filming 
  • you convinced yourself that he was probably this nice to everyone and you were really lucky because you were his sister’s best friend 
  • suddenly your phone buzzed and you received a message from an unknown number 
  • “hello y/n, it’s daehwi - i got your number from somi. that’s okay right? next week i’ll be back in town again, so do you wanna hang out? just the two of us this time ;)”

efgqkejfhfjhjf i hope you guys liked this?? i have no idea what the response is gonna be like and lmao i made somi and daehwi twins bc they could totally be siblings :) i realised i probably rant too much lmaooo so let me know what you guys think as i’m always open to feedback and thoughts about my work :) please also look forward to my next one in this series! 

fashi0nmistake  asked:

The writing prompt meme- #50 "I’m starting an idiot jar. Any time you do or say anything idiotic, you have to put at least a dollar in it—more depending on how stupid the thing that you said or did was.” The Starklings. It's such a sibling prompt!

“What? It’s a great idea!”

“Robb, it’s a terrible idea! Mom doesn’t even like hockey,” Sansa protested.

Her older brother looked at her as if she’d lost her mind. “Of course she likes hockey! She has never missed a single game any one of us has played in unless two of us were playing at the same time in different rinks! She’s been to more games than Dad, Sansa!”

Sansa rolled her eyes. “OK. She doesn’t like hockey unless one or more of you idiots are playing. This isn’t just Dad’s anniversary! Stanley Cup playoff tickets are a terrible anniversary gift.”

“You’re just saying that because you’re the only person in this family who never played, Sansa! You probably want to send them to the dumb old ballet!” nine year old Rickon protested.

“No, I don’t,” Sansa said, in a voice alarmingly like their mother’s when her patience was nearly at an end. “I’m perfectly well aware that Dad has no interest in the ballet unless I’m dancing.”

“Well, ballet’s boring,” Rickon pronounced, making a face that had Robb, Jon, and Bran all laughing in spite of Sansa’s glaring at them.

“I hate all of you!” Sansa exclaimed as she dramatically turned causing her hair to swish around her shoulders and flounce out of the room. 

From her perch on the back of the couch by the window, Arya sighed. She’d never admit it to a living soul, but she did envy her sister’s ability to do that kind of stuff with her hair, even if Sansa was acting like a baby.

They were all acting like babies. Stupid babies.

Before she could mention that to them, however, Robb turned on Rickon. “Nice going, kid!” he said sarcastically. “Now she’d bailed on us!”

“You laughed!” Rickon protested, throwing his empty Coke can at Robb’s head.

Robb ducked of course, and the can, which apparently wasn’t entirely empty, hit the wall behind him, splattering Coke on a portrait of their family taken on a vacation to the beach about seven years ago. Their mother loved that picture.

“Nice,” Arya said, swinging her legs over the back of the couch and standing up. “You all are just brilliant. We’ve all been saving money for a damn year, and now that it’s time to actually plan this thing, we’ve talked for an hour, decided nothing, chased off Sansa, and gotten coke all over Mom’s favorite picture.

As Robb and Rickon both started to protest, Arya spoke over them. “Robb, go get Sansa back here. I know she’s bossy, but she listens to you more than the rest of us, and does anybody think we can actually plan this without her?”

She looked around the room at her siblings and cousin. Nobody actually disputed that statement. “Go on, Robb!” she said when he didn’t move. “Grovel if you have to, but get her back here.”

“Rickon’s the one who pissed her off!” Robb protested. 

Arya loved her oldest brother, she truly did. He was a wonderful guy. But sometimes when he felt angry or unjustly accused, he could be the biggest baby of all of them. “Yeah. And he’s NINE. Your twenty. Suck it up, Robb. You all laughed, and it was your dumb suggestion that we send Mom and Dad to the playoffs as our gift which got Sansa riled up in the first place. Besides,” she turned to glare at her youngest brother, and the smirk he’d been directing at Robb disappeared immediately. “Rickon has to go get a rag and clean his damn mess. None of us will be alive to give Mom and Dad anything if Mom sees that picture that like that!”

Rickon, fully aware that he couldn’t escape responsibility for the Coke can incident and with no desire to end up on the receiving end of the wrath of Catelyn Stark (in spite of the fact that Mom tended to let him skate more often than anyone because he was the BABY), scampered toward the kitchen in search of cleaning supplies immediately. 

Robb made a face at her that caused him to look alarmingly like Rickon, but he then agreed to go in search of their sister, muttering under his breath as he went. “And she calls SANSA bossy!”

“Well?” Arya asked as Bran and Jon stared at her in silence. 

“Well what?” Bran asked.

“Well where do you two think we should send them?” she asked in exasperation. These two had contributed very little to the discussion so far, although to be fair, neither had she–except to give them an update on their general budget. 

Even the older kids agreed that fifteen year old Arya was the best of all of them at math, so while Robb had opened the bank account last year because only he and Jon were over eighteen and could do it without their parents’ knowledge, Arya had managed it. The others had given her their contributions and she’d made deposits with Robb’s permission and kept track of the balance. Considering that only Jon, Robb, and Sansa had jobs–and they weren’t exactly full time or well-paying, they’d managed to collect quite a sum over the past year. Arya herself had done some math tutoring to raise money. She’d even babysat a few times, which was torture. Of course, she’d never tell the others that the primary way she’d managed to make her contributions almost as big as those of the older three was by giving Gendry money to bet on various sports events. First of all, she wasn’t supposed to still be seeing him and she didn’t want Dad to murder him, and second of all, Dad would likely murder HER if he found out she was gambling. Even for a good cause.

“They’re not really my parents, Arya,” Jon mumbled. “I really think you five should …”

“And THAT has got to be the stupidest thing of all the stupid things said in here so far today!” she exclaimed, rolling her eyes. “You’ve practically lived here your whole life, Jon, and you gave the most money out of anybody! You get a vote!”

“I didn’t put money in to get a vote,” Jon said almost sullenly. “I did it because Uncle Ned and Aunt Cat have given me pretty much everything I have.”

“They love you, Jon,” Bran insisted. “You’re as much their kid as any of us.”

Jon nodded a bit, but he didn’t smile, and under his breath he muttered something like “But they never had to do that” which caused Arya to roll her eyes again.

She adored Jon. It was almost funny because even though he wasn’t technically her brother, his was the face that came first to her mind if anyone asked if she had a favorite sibling. After all, he’d been the one who convinced her mother to not only allow her to play hockey, but to let her play on the boys’ team. But if Robb could drive her crazy sometimes with his belief that things were always supposed to go his way, Jon could make her equally nuts with his insistence on martyrdom at times.

“Seriously, boys, we’ve got enough to give them a really nice vacation somewhere. Not airfare, but Grandpa Hoster said he’d kick that in so we need to come up with something great.”

“What about Disney World?” Bran asked. “They both said that was a great trip when we all went three years ago.”

“Because we were all there,” Jon said. “It was a great family trip, but neither of your parents cared much about most of the rides. I think for just the two of them, maybe someplace else will be better.”

Bran frowned. “But what will they do anywhere without all of us there? I mean … they never go anywhere without us–except for Dad’s work trips. Won’t they get bored?”

Arya met Jon’s eyes and both of them tried mightily not to laugh. Bran was thirteen, old enough and smart enough to understand what went on between men and women, but still young enough to be completely oblivious to the idea of their parents as anything other than just their parents. Heck, she was fifteen and had a not-so-secret much older not-a-boyfriend and still didn’t like to think too closely about what went on in Mom’s and Dad’s bedroom when the door was locked, but she had no doubts they wouldn’t get bored on a kid-free vacation!

“They won’t get bored, Bran,” Jon said. “They do like each other, you know.” He laughed just a bit and reached over to ruffle Bran’s hair. 

Bran blushed then. “I know that!” he sputtered. “I just meant … I just …”

“Don’t worry, Bran,” Arya laughed. “It wasn’t even close to the stupidest suggestion we’ve had.”

“What about you, Bossy?” Robb asked as he came back into the family room, followed by a still pouting Sansa. “What brilliant ideas do you have?”

“I don’t know,” Arya said. “But it should be someplace they would both like. So no hockey. And no ballet.”

“I never said …” Sansa started.

“I know you never said ballet,” Arya interrupted quickly. “I’m just trying to make a point. Nothing that just Dad loves or just Mom loves. It has to be something they love together. What do they both love?”

“Me!” Rickon offered with a grin as he walked back in with glass cleaner and a rag. 

Everyone laughed. “Well, yes, Rickon,” Bran said. “We’ve already established that Mom and Dad love all of us, but this trip is just for the two of them.”

Before Arya and Jon could even cover their smiles at Bran’s about-face on couples trips, Rickon grinned more widely. “I didn’t say us,” he said, sticking a tongue out at Bran. “I said me. They only had all you losers trying to get a kid as awesome as me! That’s why they stopped once they got perfection!”

“You wish!” Bran told him, pulling the little cushion he kept behind his back in his wheelchair out and flinging at at the youngest Stark. Of course, he hit a vase which fell to the floor and broke instead.

“I’m not cleaning that!” Rickon announced.

“Could everyone refrain from doing anything stupid for longer than five minutes?” Arya asked in frustration.

Jon, who’d been standing closest to the vase, bent to start picking up the pieces.

“They both like the country as opposed to big cities,” Sansa said. “I mean, Mom likes the city, but Dad hates it. And even Mom is happier surrounded by green.”

That was actually a useful observation. Sansa really was good at this stuff. Even if she was constantly in other people’s business and wasn’t as perfect as everybody thought. “That’s good, Sans,” Arya said. “What else?”

“Water,” Robb offered. “Mom loves being on the water. And Dad does, too, as long as it’s not too hot. No place tropical.” 

“But warm enough to swim,” Jon put in, having somehow dispatched Rickon to fetch a broom and dustpan without making a fuss or raising a protest from the kid. “Aunt Cat loves to swim, and Uncle Ned loves watching her do it.”

“Eww!” Robb protested. “That’s my mother you’re talking about Jon.”

“Yeah, I know. And it’s obvious your dad thinks she’s the hottest woman around every time he looks at her, and this IS an anniversary trip.”

“Just shut up already, Jon,” Robb said, getting a bit red in the face.

One look at Jon told Arya that wasn’t going to happen. Jon and Robb were almost exactly the same age and had been closer than any real twins their whole lives, but they did love to aggravate each other. With a wicked gleam in his grey eyes, he said, “We definitely need to make sure the hotel room is really nice–in case they never leave it.”

Robb flew at Jon and tackled him. Thankfully, nothing fell to the floor except the two of them, and neither of them was truly angry so they just wrestled for a moment with Jon laughing so hard the whole time that Robb finally couldn’t help laughing as well. “Idiot,” he muttered, as he stood up to let Jon off the floor. “Just shut up about my parents’ sex lives, okay? Five times. That’s all I’ve got to acknowledge, man. Five times.”

Of course, that comment caused Sansa, Arya, and even Bran to dissolve into laughter until Rickon finally asked, “Five times what? And you’re not supposed to talk about sex. Big Walder Frey got sent to the principal’s office for talking about sex to some girl on the playground. She called him a dirty liar and told the teacher!”

That stopped the laughter pretty quickly. 

“Hey, bud,” Robb said, going to put an arm around Rickon. “Whatever that Frey kid says about anything is probably wrong.” Arya was honestly quite impressed at how quickly he’d gone from total dork into mature responsible big brother mode.

Rickon looked up at Robb a moment, as if considering his words. “Yeah. He lies a lot,” he said finally. “Is it true that …”

“Later, Rickon,” Robb interrupted with only the slightest hint of red returning to his cheeks. “Ask me later. Or better yet, ask Dad.”

“Please,” Arya said. “We need to stick to the topic at hand. Mom and Dad will be home soon, and who knows when we’ll get everybody here at once and them gone again. So no more acting like idiots. Are we all good with finding someplace in the country–on a lake maybe?”

“With a great big bed …” Jon mumbled, before bursting into laughter again.

Normally, Arya loved seeing Jon’s playful, teasing side, but as Robb punched him hard in the arm, and Rickon looked as if he were trying very hard to puzzle something out, she’d had enough. “That’s it! I’m starting an idiot jar. Any time you do or say anything idiotic, you have to put at least a dollar in it—more depending on how stupid the thing that you said or did was.”

“Hear, hear!” said Sansa. She turned and pulled a little basket down off one of the shelves. “This will do for now,” she said. “We can get an official jar later. Now, let’s get this trip planned.”

All the boys adopted serious expressions, and everyone who’d been standing found places to sit. Arya looked gratefully at her sister. She couldn’t even remember the last time she’d wanted so much to just hug Sansa.

“The mountains,” Robb said. “Dad likes mountains, and it doesn’t get too warm there ever. But as long as it gets sunny and warm at all during the day, Mom will swim. You know her.”

“Yes!” Sansa nearly squealed. “And there are places with warm springs. I bet I could find someplace like that! And they could take long walks and go hiking and watch sunsets and have breakfast in bed and …”

Arya smiled as Sansa waxed poetic about the ideal vacation spot for Mom and Dad. The others actually all looked pretty excited now as she talked about it, and Arya had every confidence that their sister would get on-line and find a real-life place that wasn’t too far from the image in her head now that it seemed they’d agreed on a general idea. 

Maybe she’d keep the idiot jar (or basket), though. With this bunch, she could likely raise enough to do a vacation for the entire family next in no time at all. 

clodiuspulcher  asked:

I have a confession: I followed your blog because I liked the URL ciceroprofacto. I soon realized your blog was about Alexander Hamilton and Not Cicero but your content is so good I couldn't unfollow... ANYWAY, I know Hamilton associated himself with Cicero- he called Burr the American Catiline at some point, right?- but there's some other parallels between them and I was wondering if you have any other stories/anecdotes/info about Hamilton's feelings on Cicero. Thanks, and I love your blog!

I also have a confession: I made up this username after questions about Cicero helped me qualify for the state certamen bowl as a team of myself.  the username is a lie about the content here but I really am tight with Cicero as far as interests go.

But yes!  Hamilton and Marcus Tullius Cicero: the comparison is striking.

Both were born in January, and despite having well-to-do fathers with good family names, were held back by their circumstances as youths.  Cicero was born in Arpinum, a little over sixty miles south of Rome, Hamilton in Charleston, Nevis, separated from major hubs of the British empire.  Both had one brother (though Cicero was the elder brother and Hamilton the younger), and both of their mothers were described as intelligent and thrifty.  Both men were described as sickly boys, Cicero was semi-invalid and Hamilton frequently ill.  In order to enter ‘cultured’ society, both men had to self-fashion themselves through studies of Latin and Greek, history, poetry, and philosophy.

For both Cicero and Hamilton, it was their talent as students and their ability to use rhetoric effectively that caught the attention of sponsors who facilitated their education.  While they studied, both men met two friends they would keep lifelong correspondence with, Hamilton with Robert Troup and Hercules Mulligan and Cicero with Servius Sulpicius Rufus and Titus Pomponius.

Both men used military service (and public offices cursus honorum) to distinguish themselves and earn the connections and experience that would help them get careers in civil service.  During their military service, both distinguished themselves as intellectuals, both credited as one of the most versatile minds of their generation.

After their stints in the military, both men immediately began careers as lawyers and statesmen in the public eye.  Both were infamously effective orators.  Cicero’s use of Latin rhetoric was so distinguished he changed the way people used the language.  I don’t remember the exact quote, but it was said that prose in Latin and the romance languages up through the 19th century was either a return to his style and syntax or a reaction against it.

Both men were also inflammatory speakers.  Cicero’s first major (and most famous) trial as a lawyer was in defense of a man named Sextus Roscius, and in the defense he presented, he challenged the dictator Sulla (whose army he had served in) by accusing some of Sulla’s political allies of having actually committed the crime.  After that case, Cicero left Rome and spent some time in Greece studying philosophy and oratory (and I would liken this to Hamilton’s break with Washington, retirement from the military and study of law).  Some historians speculate he had fled Rome because of the political threat, but that’s not proven. 

Ironically, both men married up in their mid-twenties.  Hamilton to Elizbeth Schuyler and Cicero to Terentia, of a plebeian noble house of Terenti Varrones.  Both Eliza and Terentia were actively interested in their husbands political careers and sometimes helped them in their work.  In both cases, there are traditional rumors that the men married for convenience and political ambitions, but both marriages lasted around 30 years through marital turbulence.  The Reynolds affair in 1791 mirrors a stint in the 50s BCE where Cicero claimed Terentia had betrayed him and they briefly divorced and remarried (though I’m not sure about the reasons behind it).

Cicero returned to Rome shortly after completing that ‘higher education’ in Greece.  And, like Hamilton, he entered politics and quickly rose through the ranks.  Both men entered civil service posts that centered on the financial stability of their countries.  Hamilton’s post as Secretary Treasury somewhat mirrors Cicero’s work as a Quaestor in Sicily though Hamilton’s work focused more on establishing the system of finance and Cicero’s focused more on rejuvenating and legitimizing a broken system.  In Rome, 20 ‘Quaestors’ were elected each year to maintain the finances of a province with the Consul or Proconsul of that area.  It was a big deal among the men on the cursus honorum to move along the ranks quickly, at the youngest age possible, and many tried to do so by bribing the electors and speculating from taxes.  Cicero effectively did so by publicly ousting the other statesmen who did so with sharp oratory and accusations, thereby earning the trust and admiration of the voting male citizens, then canvassing and campaigning for his position.

Like Hamilton, Cicero was constantly shadowed by his lack of reputable ancestry, wealth, and birth.  He was neither a noble nor a patrician and, having moved through the ranks by canvassing rather than consular ancestry, he was labeled a novus homo or “new man”.  The last novus homo who had been elected consulate was a distant relative, Gaius Marius, who was politically radical and unpopular after Sulla’s ascension in the Roman civil war.  Sulla’s reforms had strengthened the upper-class equestrian class, the optimates, and Cicero was an eques. More importantly, he was a constitutionalist, unable to side politically with the populares faction.  Despite this, in each election, Cicero was voted first of all the candidates he stood against, most popular among all Romans except those of the poorest classes.  Like Hamilton, Cicero held the strong centralized republican ideals of a gentry class that would never truly accept him despite his intellectual talents and personal charisma.

Hamilton did liken his feud with Burr to Cicero’s campaign against Catiline, though I would say Cicero’s conflict became much more serious while Hamilton’s was cut short by their duel and Burr’s public defamation.  
In 63 BCE, Cicero was elected Consul over Catiline, creating personal animosity between the two.  In previous years, Catiline had sullied his own name with a series of crimes that took him to trial, between murder, speculation, and proscription. In a last-ditch effort to attain the consulship, he promoted universal cancellation of debts to draw the support of the lower classes and began talking his way into the support of men in the senatorial and equestrian rank who, after a political purge, had also become inviable candidates to public office for their own crimes (and men with good reason to dislike Cicero).  
After Cicero took office, he spent his time preventing Catiline’s conspiracy to overthrow him and the Roman Republic as a whole.  He delivered four famous speeches, the Catiline Orations, that listed Catiline and his supporters’ crimes, and denounced his supporters as debtors.  Catiline fled to Etruria after the first speech but Cicero delivered three more to prepare the Senate for a counterattack.
Catiline planned to return with an army of veterans from Sulla’s military, peasant farmers and debtors.  The supporters he’d left behind in the Senate worked to gain the support of the Allobgroges, a tribe of Gauls, but the Gauls delivered their letters to Cicero and the senate and Cicero was able to force the conspirators to confess their crimes.  He had them taken to the Tullianum, the most notorious Roman prison, and strangled without formal trial.

We all know how Hamilton’s feud ended, and it’s hard to say what would’ve happened in his public life had he lived longer.  Given how similarly Hamilton’s life seemed to match-step with Cicero’s, I imagine he would’ve managed to stir political conflict and eventually actuate his own death or ejection from the political field.

After his orations against Catiline, Cicero went on in his political career.  He refused an offer of partnership with Julius Caesar, Pompey and Crassus, fearing it would undermine the Republic.  After this Triumvirate rose to power, he was exiled by a law against anyone who executed Roman citizens without trial.
He returned to Rome and resumed his involvement in politics about a year later, avoided supporting Caesar by leaving Rome with Pompey’s staff when Caesar invaded Italy in 49 BCE and tried to get his endorsement.
He caught beef with Pompey as well and Cato, arguing with his commanders for their incompetence, returned to Rome and received a pardon from Caesar (fully planning to politically undermine his dictatorship with constitutional law whenever possible).
He wasn’t involved in Caesar’s assignation but was supportive of it and became a popular leader afterwards.  As Mark Antony carried out Caesar’s public will after his death, Cicero countered him politically and attacked him in public speeches, “the Phillipics”, calling the Senate against him.  Cicero was wildly powerful with the public will and his supporters volunteered to take arms against Antony and his supporters.  But, matters escalated, Antony continued military conquest and defied the senate, after he refused to lift the siege of Mutina, he was declared an enemy of the state.  Cicero began a campaign to try and drive Antony out, even contacted Cassius, one of Caesars assassins, and alluded that Antony was a greater threat.  But, it didn’t work and soon after Antony and Octavian allied with Lepidus, formed the second triumvirate, and began hunting their political rivals.
Cicero, so publicly loved, was able to hide for some time, but he was caught in December 43 BCE in Formiae, trying to leave in a litter.  He leaned his head out in surrender, decapitated in a gladiatorial gesture that bares the neck and makes the task easier.  In the Roman tradition of oratory, hand motions are emphasized and characteristic.  So, Cicero’s hands and (I’ve heard rumors of his tongue) were cut off and nailed on display on the Rostra in the Forum along with his head, the only victim of the Triumvirate to be displayed like that.

I don’t personally know of any anecdotes of Hamilton comparing himself to Cicero, but I do know he would’ve read and translated Cicero’s speeches and philosophies, and I can definitely see why he would feel a kinship with his life story.  Here’s an article that discusses the allusion to Catiline.

tldr; Marcus Tullius Cicero and Alexander Hamilton were self-made men, “homines novi”, born in obscurity and rising quickly through the ranks of civil service positions through the merit of hard work, military service, and emergence into law.  Despite this, and even as effective supporters of centralized constitutional power, they were both shadowed by their inability to completely fit in with the upper-class aristocrats.  Both were gifted orators, political philosophers, and financial planners.  Characteristically self-righteous, they both refused to back down from their core political beliefs, even when that placed their own lives at risk, leading to both their unparalleled political rise as well as their ultimate downfall.

Pietro Maximoff Imagine-Requested

 Requested by Anon: AU where the reader is Pietro’s girlfriend and wanda’s bff? And if you could involve the avengers in the story it would be perfect.

A/N: I hope you like it! Requests are closed until next Sunday I have to catch up with all the asks. Thank you guys for requesting it means a lot to me. You are all beautiful human beings and even though I can’t tell you personally and even some of you virtually because you’re anonymous so I just hope you all know that. Thank you so much amores xox

Everyone was lounging in the living room. Steve was flipping through the channels so everyone can vote on what to watch even though the only ones paying attention were Steve, you, Wanda, Pietro, and Clint. Tony and Bruce were looking at some nerdy science thing on the computer and commenting on how wrong the information was and laughed at how bad it was, Bruce was reading some book and listening to opera music quite loudly. Nat was trying to show Vision and Thor how to play poker and how important it was to keep a straight face. You were sitting on the couch facing the television, leaning on Pietro and resting your head on his shoulder. He had his arm around you and held you closely. Wanda was on the other couch sitting with Vision. Her cheeks were tinted pink due to the close proximity to Vision. You smiled  at Wanda. You wished that Vision would just make a move on Wanda. It was obvious that the both of them liked each other.

“It’s getting late.” Clint spoke up, mainly looking at you, Pietro, and Wanda.

“Why do we always have to be the ones to go to bed early?” You huffed as you and the twins stood up.

“Because you guys are our babies. You need the most sleep and knowing you guys, you won’t actually fall asleep until like an hour from now. Besides we start training tomorrow again.” Nat backed Clint up. You rolled your eyes playfully and said goodnight to everyone as you interlaced your hands with Pietro’s. He brought the interlaced hand up to press a gentle kiss on the back of your palm. You walked towards your room before you stopped in front of your bedroom door.

“You go ahead to bed, I want to talk to your sister.” You said looking up at him. He looked confused.

“Don’t ask.” You added before kissing his jaw and walking to the stairs to go up another level to Wanda’s room.

“That’s going to be my goodnight kiss?” He called out after you. You turned around with a coy smile.

“If you’re a good boy maybe you’ll get a reward.” You winked at him before jogging up the stairs, leaving your boyfriend, open mouthed in disbelief down there. You walked past some guests doors, Visions room, and finally made it to Wanda’s room. You gave a gentle knock.

“Come in.” You heard her call from inside. You opened the door and saw her writing in what seemed to be a diary. You went to go sit down on the bed.

“So when are you going to admit it?” You said as you crossed your legs on the bed and looked at her with a smirk.

“Admit what?” She asked, continuing to write in her journal, not turning around.

“That you like Vision.” She stopped writing and turned around in her chair.

“Is it that obvious?” She whispered at you, her eyes wide.

“Only to me. Both Vision and your brother is completely oblivious. I think Nat knows but I’m not sure…she may have suspicions but if she does she hasn’t mentioned anything.” You explained to the blushing twin in front of you. She let out a giant sigh.

“Thanks, Y/N for not telling anyone. I don’t know what I like about him exactly. I mean he saved me from my falling city and he’s always been such a gentlemen and has just been so sweet to me. But I don’t think that I could ever date him. I don’t deserve him.” Wanda got up from her desk and plopped down on the bed next to you.

“I thought the same thing about Pietro.” You admitted.

“But honestly Wanda it’s clear that you both like each other. I mean he’s come up to me and asked me about you and-”

“What has he said?” Wanda asked me, getting really excited, crossing her own legs.

“I can’t tell you! I have been sworn to secrecy!” You exclaimed dramatically. You both giggled.

“C'mon Y/N! We’re best friends! You were sworn to secrecy to me first!” Wanda smiled at me and gave her best big sad eyes.

“You and you’re brother have a talent for having big sad eyes. And pouting.” You commented leaving Wanda in a fit of giggles.

“Okay so he asked me a couple of things over time. The first thing was if you have ever talked about him before and-”

“What did you say?!” Wanda asked worried again.

“Let me finish talking and maybe you’ll know.” You told her. She closed her mouth and motioned with her hands to get you to keep talking.

“I told him that even if you did I wouldn’t be able to tell him. The second time was to ask the things that you liked. I told him to ask you and he said that he was too shy.” You told her. She squealed in excitement. You have never seen her like this before.

“I can’t believe you two still haven’t actually even flirted.” You chuckled in disbelief. Wanda looked at you with a raised eyebrow.

“That reminds me of a certain someone with my brother.” She defended herself.

“Well to be fair, Pietro was flirting with everyone but me so I had no way of knowing.” You claimed. Wanda was going to prove you wrong until you heard Pietro at the door.

“What are my two favorite girls talking about?” Pietro asked, walking in the room and sitting on the corner of the bed, looking at you and Wanda expectantly. Wanda shook her head and Pietro turned his gaze on you with a smirk.

“Well? Are you going to tell your boyfriend what you two were gossiping and giggling about?” When you didn’t respond he grabbed both of your legs and pulled you so your legs were resting on either side of him, straddling him. You had some height so you were looking slightly down at him. You just shrugged your shoulders.

“Sorry babe but I promised.” You smiled down at him.

“Well fine then. I guess I’ll go back to our room. But I’m taking you with me because like Barton said, we have training tomorrow..and I want to cuddle.” He admitted standing up, carrying you with him. You looked at Wanda over his shoulder and blew her a friendly kiss goodbye with your hand and she did the same.

“Night Wanda!” Pietro said before closing the door with his foot. Pietro set you down and pinned you against the wall.

“Now how about that treat?” He asked before attaching his lips to yours.

I hope you guys enjoyed it! A few more stories coming out this week before my main one this weekend! Much love! xox

A Family Of Your Own (Jason Todd x Reader)

Request: “I really love your blog and your writing! Would you be able to do a Jason Todd x reader where the reader is pregnant and they tell the batfam (bonus: grandpa Bruce)”- anon


Y/N- Your Name

Y/N/N- Your Nick Name


Warnings: None? Maybe swearing?


A/N: This took longer to write than I originally hoped, but its also a lot lengthier than I was meaning for it to be.. lol. I hope you enjoy, anon!


*********************************************************************************************

“Jay?? Are you ready?” you shout as you rush around your apartment looking for your keys. You were supposed to be at the manor 30 minutes ago, but as always, you were running late. You sit down on the couch and go through your purse one more time just to make sure you didn’t miss them in there when you first checked. You only stop looking when you hear the sound of them jingling, and look up to see your husband dangling the keys in front of your face.



“Looking for these?” he asks with a mischievous smile.

“You had them the whole time, didn’t you?” you grumble as you grab the keys from his hand.

He flops down onto the couch just as you’re starting to stand up.

“Jason… come on, we gotta go!” you say, tugging on his arm, trying to pull him up into a standing position.



You had big news to share with everyone… you were pregnant. And now that you were in your second trimester, it was time to tell your little secret. You didn’t have a family of your own, so getting to tell Jason’s was just as important to you. Bruce had been the dad you never got to have, meaning you were the most nervous and excited to tell him. You weren’t exactly sure how he’d react, raising a child in a city like Gotham was risky, and to add to that this baby was being born into a family of vigilante’s.



You’re pulled out of your thoughts though by Jason’s voice.

“I say we revisit my idea of just sending them a friendly group text… you know, just say ‘I knocked Y/N up! Surprise!’ and be done with it!” he says with a goofy look on his face.

“Jason Peter Todd… No. This isn’t something you just tell someone over the phone. This is your family we’re talking about here… and they’re my family too.” you pout.

You knew exactly what you were doing, and so did Jason. But he didn’t care, and even if he did, he always had a problem with telling you ‘no’.



“Fiiiiiiiiine” he groans out, and leans forward to put his hands on your stomach.

“Let it be known that your mother fights dirty.” he says, talking to your unborn baby.

You laugh and roll your eyes.

“You think she can hear me in there?” he asks, looking up at you.

“At 24 weeks babies have been known to turn their heads in response to noises and voices.” you say, quoting an article you had read earlier that day.  



“Someone’s been doing their research.” he says with his brows raised.

“Hey! I just wanna know whats going on in there! I know next to nothing about babies. Hell, I didn’t even know I wanted one till this little dork came along.” you say, defending yourself.

Jason stands up, pulling you into his arms.

“You’re cute, you know that?” he smiles.

“Of course… my cuteness is my most redeeming quality.” you joke.



“Wait a minute. Did you just call our future daughter a dork?” he asks, trying not to laugh.

“I mean, if shes anything like you she will be…” you fire back.

His mouth drops open as he pretends to be insulted.

“I am not a dork!” he says, holding back a laugh.

“ Sureeeee.” you smirk, as you tug him along towards the door.




Once you arrive at the manor you’re greeted at the door by Alfred. As soon as you saw him you smiled… Alfred had always been like a grandfather to you, not to mention he was the only one who rivaled you in sarcasm.

“You’re an hour late… I’m shocked.” he says, causing you to snicker.

“You can thank Jay for that one… he decided he wanted to play hide and seek with the car keys today.” you say as you step inside.

“Way to throw me under the bus, Y/N/N.” Jason mumbles.

“Don’t you worry, Master Jason… I had no doubts that you were to blame.” he replies.

Jason huff’s at this, and you laugh… It was good to be back at the manor.



As the three of you walked through the house you could feel the anxiety bubbling up inside you, you reach out and grab Jason’s hands, intertwining your fingers. When you walk into the living room you see everyone is there, the room is loud but it always is when the family is gathered around. Dick is the first to notice you.



“Y/N!” Dick shouts, getting up to hug you.

Dick was your best friend, in fact, you knew him before you even knew Jason. He had been your partner in crime all throughout your childhood and your time as a vigilante, he also played a part in what brought you and your now husband together. Which was why you felt so guilty about not telling Dick about the pregnancy sooner, but you knew at the end of the day he’d never hold it against you.



After you finished greeting everyone, you and Jason took a seat on the couch with the others. It was time to share your news, but for some reason you just couldn’t get the words to come out. You looked over at Jason only to find him already looking at you, his warm smile giving you the courage to say what you need to. But just as you’re about to speak, you’re interrupted by Jason’s youngest brother.



“Are you two getting a divorce or something? I can only imagine that’s why you asked us all to be here today. You can just tell us… I mean, it is Todd we’re talking about here.” Damian smirks.

“Nice vote of confidence there, Damian.” Jason says in a flat tone, causing you to laugh.

“Seriously though… Whats up? Are you guys okay?” a very worried Barbara asks.

“Everything is fine! Its nothing like that…” you reassure.

“Everything is more than fine actually.” Jason says as he smiles at you.



Now that you officially have everyone’s attention, you stand up. You can see they’re confused, so with that you unzip your jacket revealing a tiny baby bump, not big enough for them to have noticed over layers of clothing, but prominent enough for them to know exactly what you’re getting at. As soon as they realize what they’re seeing, the living room breaks out into excited shouting and everyone gets up to congratulate you. Jason stands up and pulls you into his arms. The reaction from your family was everything you hoped it would be. Everything is happening so fast though that it feels like a blur. Its not until your standing in front of your father in law that you snap out of it.



The always stoic batman smiles down at you, and you cant help but pull him into a hug. Bruce was often a man of few words, but that never bothered you. His smile was enough for you to know that he was happy for you. Finally you release him from the hug, and look back up at him.

“So..” you say through tears. “How does 'Grandpa Bruce’ sound to you?” you ask.

“It sounds perfect, Y/N.” he replies

“She’s gonna love you..” you say softly.

“She??” his smile grows bigger at that.

“Yeah, its a little girl.” you say.

This time Bruce is the one to pull you into the hug.

“Congratulations, sweetheart.” he says, kissing the top of your head.




BONUS: (3 YEARS LATER)


Today was your daughters 3rd birthday and everyone was gathered at the manor again. As your family and friends all squeezed themselves into the kitchen , you and Jason brought in the birthday cake, setting it down at the table in front of her. She was sitting on Bruce’s lap, clapping wildly as you all sang her happy birthday. Bruce smiled bright, holding your little girl close to him.



When the singing finished, he leaned forward and helped your daughter blow out her candles. After they were out, the room erupted into cheers. The scene was picturesque, and you were so happy you thought you might cry. Jason wraps his arms around your waist, and pulls you into a kiss. You pull away and smile, pressing your forehead against his. You finally had a family to call your own, never in your life did you imagine you’d get this lucky. But, boy were you glad you did…

Sasuke  and Naruto High School Relationship Headcanons

I had so much fun writing this, that Tumblr decided to delete them so I could write them again :) 

The second part is sarcasm, but I actually loved these two headcanons

Originally posted by ashiros

Naruto Uzumaki

SFW

• He is an awful student. Most of the time, he doesn’t care about it, but after he fails every exam possible, Naruto wishes he could put all the books on his head and learn by osmosis -at least he knows that concept-. So most of your dates before Exam Week are study sessions. Despite all your efforts, they aren’t very efficient: the first hour, Naruto calls you sensei and laughs after every word you pronounce; after that, he gets tired and protests until you take a break.

• Loves when you bring him lunch. Although it is not ramen, Naruto thinks your bentos are the most delicious thing ever. He especially likes when you decorate them and make small bears with the rice, or when you put ‘Naruto’ on his plate. You’ll eat the food together, with Naruto trying to steal your part in not very stealthy attempts.

• Takes you to Ichiraku very often after school. There you two eat lots of ramen and blurt bad puns and laugh at your own silliness. Naruto finds incredibly cute when you get some food on your cheeks; he’ll only tell you at the end of the date and smile at your embarrassment, depending on his mood, he’ll either help you to clean with a napkin or lick it clean. After you leave the restaurant, he always kisses you.

• After he realized his feelings, he immediately confessed. Naruto was very surprised when you returned his feelings, as he told you with the certainty of failure. How would someone as beautiful, intelligent and gentle as you care for someone like him? He was on cloud nine. That day Naruto told everyone you were together, interrupted with his laughs several classes and gave you countless kisses.

• Tried to be the class president to impress you. The school was full of Vote for Naruto posters, he even made a list of campaign promises. He was desolated when Sasuke won. His friend didn’t even try, Sakura – to Sasuke’s chagrin – proposed him and all the class, except for you, voted for him. You spent several days cheering Naruto up and stopping him from fighting with Sasuke.

• You have lots of couple stuff. Almost every week Naruto appears at your desk with a big grin and a gift. You have couple rings, bracelets, phone decorations and shirts. Those little trinkets enthusiasm him a lot, for Naruto, it is a reminder of your love.

Originally posted by narutokunaii

Sasuke Uchiha

SFW

• He confessed to you in an attack of jealousy. Sasuke already knew he liked you, but he didn’t have the time to care about it then: exams were coming, and he had to get a higher note than his brother had five years ago. However, when the rumor that you were in love with Naruto Uzumaki starting traversing the corridors, he couldn’t stop himself. After classes, Sasuke dragged you to the back of the main building and kissed you, he kissed you until his lips were sore and his lungs stung. You didn’t need another word to understand: “I like you too, Sasuke.”

• Sasuke is a busy student. He is the captain of the judo club, goes daily to cram school and then studies until midnight. If you were in a relationship, Sasuke wouldn’t be around you all the time. Actually, your dates would be really scarce. He is not going to throw away all that he has worked for his father’s recognition, and he needs you to understand.  But, every minute you spend together is precious to him.

• He will religiously walk you home every day, even if that means returning to school afterward. It’s the only regular time you can spend together, and he loves the closeness that you have then. He’ll invariably wait for you outside the classroom, leaning against the wall like he doesn’t care about anything. His eyes light up when you appear, but he dissimulates it with a commentary of how tired you look, which also serves him as a reason to carry your bag. He’ll wait until you are out of the school grounds to take your hand, but Sasuke isn’t going to let it go until your doorway: he likes the warmth and the soft texture of your skin and the small tugs when you get a little bit behind.

• Sometimes, you find small gifts in your desk. No name. They are Sasuke’s. They are usually small things you find cute in the walks back home. When you thank Sasuke for them he denies their true value: “that trash? Isn’t important.” You know he’s happy you liked him for the smirk that creeps to his face abruptly in class.

• There is no PDA at school. Sasuke has some rabid fangirls and he is afraid they are going to harass you. All your contact in classes is reduced to slight touches of hands and short glances. Sometimes, in the middle of an exam, you can feel his eyes in your neck. However, he takes you to the roof for lunch every day.

• Sasuke hates school festivals. It’s a day less for studying and the whole celebration is useless. The worst part is that his class always votes for some kind of performance that includes him with his torso naked. He always manages to escape in the middle of the event, though. He usually spends the rest of the day in the roof, eating onigiri and listening to your impressions of the festival.

Best I Have

Fandom: WWE

Pairing: Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: Another AU, for the Thirsty Crew! Tagging @toxiicpop, @oraclegazes  and OF COURSE @hardcorewwetrash! Enjoy!


Keep reading

Invader ZIM Episodes in a Nutshell:

The Nightmare Begins: Alien goes to Earth and discovers a seething hatred for big-head-boy. Naturally, shipping ensues.

Bestest Friend: Zim discovers his first fanboy. The call was coming from inside the house.

NanoZIM: Zim puts himself inside Dib. Vore happens.

Parent Teacher Night: Zim’s robo father gets horrid flashbacks from his time in the war and no one does anything to help him.

Walk of Doom: Cameos. Cameos everywhere.

Germs: Zim apparently suffers from mania and goes into an obsessive cleaning episode. No one helps him or calls an ambulance when he terrorizes patrons of a MacMeaties.

Dark Harvest: This episode will fuck you up. Some strange level of vore happens I don’t even know.

Attack of the Saucer Morons: Zim discovers his fanbase and promptly does nothing to take advantage of it.

The Wettening: Dib jumps in a puddle and it all goes to shit.

Career Day: Molt; /mōlt/ (of an animal) shed old feathers, hair, or skin, or an old shell, to make way for a new growth.

Battle Dib: Dib steals Gaz’s pizza like a dick and gets what he deserves.

Planet Jackers: The entire planet gets kidnapped and Dib is too stupid to notice even after being told.

Rise of the Zitboy: All glory to the hypno-pimple.

Invasion of the Idiot Dog Brain: Gir goes to great lengths to acquire tacos, causing the great adolescent taco desire of 2007.

Bad, Bad Rubber Piggy: Grandfather paradox. Gir explodes.

A Room With A Moose: Zim literally could have hurled the bus into a black hole or just opened the windows to suck all oxygen and life from his enemies, but no, he chooses a moose room. He fails.

Hamstergeddon: Zim creates his own hamster son. He kills it like a good father.

Plauge of Babies: Earth babies come from space. Confirmed space is a big vagina.

Bloaty’s Pizza Hog: Gaz has daddy issues.

Door to Door: Zim hallucinates a childhood mascot and is tortured by him for the rest of his life. On the plus side, he gets tuna.

FBI Warning of Doom: Mall Cop; Origins.

Bolognius Maximus: The sad truth is that right now, someone somewhere is writing a vore slashfic about Bologna!Zim and Bologna!Dib eating each other.

Game Slave 2: You know E3 it’s pretty much that with the same amount of manslaughter.

Battle of the Planets: Everything aside, Zim’s plan would’ve worked when you consider gravity and shit. Also, Dib gets himself into a rock hard ass.

Halloween Spectacular of Spooky Doom: Dib really has some fucking issues he needs to work out.

Mysterious Mysteries: Nothing matters anymore. Everyone is crazy.

Future Dib: Gaz was going to kill her own brother like she was really going to fucking do it. She was not afraid to taste blood.

Hobo 13: R. Lee Ermey/Richard Horvitz cage match.

Walk For Your Lives: (Slo Mo Guys background music intensifies)

Megadoomer: They see him rollin’. They hatin’.

Lice: Dib makes an asshole of himself. It’s hard to watch.

Abducted: You’ll wait for probes to happen. Probes do not happen.

The Sad, Sad Tale of Chickenfoot: Dib goes on an adventure to learn about otherkin and does not like what he finds.

GIR Goes Crazy and Stuff: No one suffered more than Squid Man.

Dib’s Wonderful Life of Doom: Directed by M. Night Shyamalan.

Tak the Hideous New Girl: Alien who happens to be female comes to earth to fuck up Zim’s shit. Naturally, everyone supports what would be a hate-fueled abusive relationship.

Backseat Drivers From Beyond the Stars: This is, in fact, the last you will ever see of the Resisty. Yes, that is their name.

Mortos Der Soulstealer: You’re pretty sure this is a documentary on the life of your roommate.

Zim Eats Waffles: This could have been a set up for hidden camera porn but thankfully Gir had more taste than that.

The Girl Who Cried Gnome: Zim leaps behind a girl, grabs her by the waist, and yanks her out of a hole. You may or may not get a boner, but either way you’ll feel like a sick person for watching it.

Dibship Rising: Tak’s ship discovers it is Dibkin. It realizes how stupid that actually sounds and kills itself.

Vindicated!: Mr. Dwicky didn’t mean anything to you until you got old and realized you’re just like him. Only in your version you won’t get abducted by Plookesians.

The Voting of the Doomed: Illuminati confirmed.

Gaz, Taster of Pork: Dib lays a nastyass curse on his sister’s mouth.

The Frycook What Came from All That Space: This is the umpteenth time Zim uses vore to favor him. It even works this time. You’ll be left wondering just how many times Zim plans on being swallowed.

The Most Horrible X-Mas Ever: Everyone dies alone and jolly under the Santa Dome before the Simpsons did it.