this was supposed to have a second part but tumblr is a piece of shit

Actually, I have a fairly good idea of exactly WHY tumblr ads suck so hard,

 and why they’re failing so badly at appealing to youth, and they never seem to be paying attention to the HEAPS OF CRITICISM, even when most all the notes on their sponsored posts are specifically telling them, in detail, why they suck. 

(sorry for the long post)

First of all, they are actually listening. 

My dad works in advertising and graphic design, he’s in this industry, and he certainly listens to me every single time I talk about the memes, the culture of the internet and today’s youth and all the hip things like that. He’s gotta. This is his job, his paycheck really depends on whether or not he knows exactly how to appeal to whatever target audience the company wants him to appeal to. He’s got to be hip on all the memes, internet slang, popular music and media, because if he doesn’t, he’s gonna get replaced by a younger guy fresh out of art school. So you bet your ass he’s gonna listen and pay attention and ask questions whenever his 19-year-old daughter’s talking about DWC, the new game that Blizzard just released, or Hillary Clinton’s pathetic attempts to get the youth vote. 

As you can imagine, everyone in marketing is trying their damned hardest to make sure their content appeals. By this point, they know exactly why content doesn’t appeal, because they’ve analyzed why things do and dont appeal from every possible angle. People literally go to school for this. They attend workshops. 

So if that’s the case, then wtf is happening? 

Why do we get shit like this

spammed all over our feeds? 

Well it’s a bunch of factors, and not all of it is the age of the people making this content. 

See, the internet and social media has actually brought a kind of mini-crisis upon the marketing industry. They have to constantly be appealing to kids these days, or they quickly become irrelevant, uncool. Every day, individual advertisers, and the industry as a whole, has to ask themselves what appeals to this generation, what can they offer that would appeal to the kids these days? 

They’ve got a crisis on their hands right now, because, to put it simply, we all hate advertisements. With a burning passion

And they’ve noticed this, they’ve noticed that internet youth as a whole will go to any possible lengths to avoid ads, that we’ll download extensions, avoid websites, even fucking pay money if it means we won’t have to deal with any goddamn ads, and then when we do see ads, we’ll relentlessly mock them on every possible flaw we can find. 

They had a whole decade to notice their audience’s overwhelmingly negative response to anything that’s trying to sell them shit. They are fully aware how annoying their very existence is to us. 

So right now, what they’re trying to do is make ads that don’t look like ads

The first thing they figured they should do, was that instead of doing banner ads and sidebar ads and video interruptions in your youtube and spotify, they should be doing sponsored posts: write up their ads in post form, put them up on a designated corporate account on a popular social media site, then pay the site to seed those posts on everyone’s feed. There you go. It’s an ad, but it doesn’t look like an ad. Maybe the internet people won’t be as annoyed now, because it’s just a post in their feed, it’s not disrupting their experience in any significant way like other ads do. 

Well, they tried that, and it didn’t work. It didn’t really matter that now it was all in accordance with the natural functions of the site, pretty much all of us could see that this, 

is a fucking ad. That’s a goddamn ad that’s being put on our feeds against our will. Nobody followed fucking Microsoft, why in fuck would we do that? there’s nothing but ads on that account, and who the fuck wants ads? 

So now they have to go back to the drawing board, and figure out another way to make these ads appealing, even though they’re ads and everyone hates ads. 

So the marketing guys noticed how a new meme causes everyone to suddenly gain interest in a new piece of media, and how quickly viral content will spread in general. How, say, all those Doritos and Mountain Dew in MLG montages are basically free advertising, or how the slew of viral videos featuring horse head masks caused the sale of those particular horse head masks to skyrocket, etc etc. 

In the memes, they found a possible solution to this near-impossible conundrum that the industry is trapped in.

Basically, the way to make your ads not look like ads, is to make them look like your average viral content. You have to turn your brand into a meme in order to appeal. 

It was actually probably Denny’s that figured out the formula first, and they’re probably still one of the most successful examples. 

Think about it. Did Denny’s even HAVE to sponsor their posts? Or did we just all willingly reblog them because they were so fuckin weird, and we couldn’t believe a corporation was doing this shit? 

But now here’s the problem, and this is why the ads are failing to appeal, even more than obvious reasons like “they’re all putting existing and outdated memes in their ads, and its really uncreative and out of touch”: 

The problem is there’s no direct interaction with the audience. 

You know how the Denny’s blog answers asks? That’s exactly the sort of thing that’s lacking from all these corporate blogs, that’s why they’re still really obvious adspewers, and thus, why they’re so damn annoying (other than all the piggybacking on outdated memes, ofc). 

Other than Denny’s, I’ve only seen two isolated situations where a corporate blog actually responded to feedback of any kind: 

  1. That one time that a visual novel app actually announced two lesbian love interests in response to someone demanding gay content.
  2. That one time Episode got self-aware and mentioned Tumblr in an ad

The first response garnered actual respect for the app, while Episode’s ad caused everyone to burst into mock panic (which was par for the course, given how their strategy seems to be “become infamous for our wild ads, and maybe someone will be curious to try out our app”). 

Given how most of us will accept ads in the form of “signal boosts” from fellow tumblr users, it’s basically a given that, as a whole, we respond much better once we’re assured there’s an actual genuine person behind the ad, who is sincerely trying to reach out to us. 

So you know, why the fuck do all these marketing blogs, Episode, Battlecamp, Funyuns, Game of War, etc. 

why do they

never

actually

talk to us? 

It’s simple:  

they can’t actually talk to us. 

Corporations have rules, regulations. These advertisers running the marketing accounts aren’t CEOs, they’re not even managers, they’re most likely low-level workers in the midst of the marketing branch of the company, a branch that, for the most part, has to follow the rules of the company, and are under extreme pressure (from company lawyers and the PR department) not to do anything out-of-line. 

Actually responding to asks or reblogs are a huge risk, and the people who command the guys who run these blogs have a bajillion reasons why they don’t want some bloody grunt to go saying whatever the hell they want on the official corporation’s tumblr blog.They could say something off-color and cause a scandal, or they could ruin the company’s professional reputation just by acting like a human being. When they log into that blog, the low-level grunt is supposed to be representing the entire corporation, a body made up of hundreds or thousands of people. You’d better damn well make sure they’re saying the right thing.

Running the official Denny’s blog probably takes a very organized and deliberate effort, along with a hella lot of risk, all to make those weird posts, reply to asks, even to figure out the perfect blend of surrealism and mundanity, while at the same time ensuring their product actually looks appealing. it probably takes a whole team to run that blog, if we’ll be honest. There’s probably 10 mods, who all have to be in close contact with not only each other, but with the boss. The boss has to trust them to not fuck up. It probably took a lot of careful planning and communication in order to figure out a stable system for all that. 

Episode couldn’t make a response to tumblr that wasn’t formatted like one of their usual ads, and they only made their (pseudo) response after a string of increasingly weirder ads convinced them that such a daring move like mentioning tumblr wouldn’t be a total disaster (well, more like convinced them that “total disaster” is something that should actually be their marketing ploy from now on).

Kisses and Curses (the aforementioned paranormal romance app) obviously was planning the female love interests already, and saw in that single comment a good opportunity to officially announce them. They also are most likely a smaller company, probably a single team that’s doing double duty on both content creation and marketing, giving them much less red tape if they wanted to answer a question like “but do the lesbians die,” or model future content after the desires of their target audience. They have a lot more freedom to be human, is what I’m trying to say. 

And while it’s fully possible that something can reach viral status and be beloved as a brand without having to respond directly to their audience, it’s pretty impossible to intentionally pull that sort of thing off, especially when you’re advertising a product or service. That kind of viral fame depends on being unexpected and unexplained, an enigma, really, and as a result, any strategy you find that actually works will only ever work the first time. The second person who tries the same thing will be labeled an obvious copycat.

TL;DR: the field of advertising is struggling to figure out how to adapt to an audience that hates the very existence of ads, and their only strategy is to make their ads less and less ad-like, and make their marketing accounts more like actual users and content creators. 

However, due to the structure and size of the companies themselves, they can’t actually do that. Fully committing to their emulation of content creators would mean they’d have to let the employees who run these blogs freely respond to their audience, and actively communicate with them. That’s a risk that no company is fully willing to take, and thus, all these advertisers are forced to make shitty content bandwagoning off the latest trends, and cross their fingers that someone finds the mess appealing on an ironic level. 

Everyone’s pretty much stuck between a rock and a hard place, and the only way out of the shitty ads is to literally redefine the whole concept of marketing, because we just flat-out hate all ads nowadays, no matter what they are or how they come to us.  

Being a top student at university

Originally posted by iwishihadametalheart

This post is based on my (and my friends) experience (second year student; sophomore).

I haven’t double-checked it, so I suppose there would be some mistakes. I miss articles all the time, sorry.

1. First year is the most important

Show your professors your capabilities. Let professors get to know you, their opinion will be significant later. Slog your guts out, get the best marks, show them you really care and you are intrigued in what they say. Later on if the next year/term is tougher or you are be able to fully focus on your education, professors will look kindly on you, they won’t be so strict, so your marks won’t be much lower.

2. Luck

Believe me, we are not always fully prepared. Sometimes our knowledge is incomplete because we don’t had enough time to learn, the topic XYZ is so shitty that we simply don’t get part of it. It happens that we have to count on our luck. The final test is coming in a few hours and you still know nothing about ABC or XYZ. You don’t have enough time and you know you won’t get it in half of an hour. Fuck this, fuck that – you hope you will be able to answer a questions. You’ve got nothing to lose, joke that it would be nice, if you got a question about QWE. If the professor knows you, remembers you and is aware of your knowledge, there is a huge possibility you’ll get this question.

3. Talk to people before your final exams

It’s partly connected with “Luck”. Talk to people who already had their finals (not only to your peers but also to older students). It’s not about questions, because you won’t get the same ones, that’s for sure. It’s more about getting to know the professor’s way of thinking, asking questions, choosing topics. Ask people how much you need to write/say in order to get a good mark. Ask people what topics are professor’s favourite, what do you need to know, how to impress them. Mark down what questions did your friends/other students get – learn them if you know that this professor likes to ask the same thing, pay less attention if you know they like to change them. But never left them aside, you have to know at least part of the answer to be save.

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On the Warring States Era, child soldiers and why the Hashirama's flashback was sentimental bullshit

Minibang day 03: war/peace

So i would like to talk to you about why the whole Hashirama’s flashback was the utter garbage. I know that this particular flashback is sort of a pinnacle of Kishi’s writing and it could have been - dear lord - so much worse than it is and the hashimada fandom decided to roll with the story it creates, but I’m rather disappointed with it and the overall theme it created for the Hashirama & Madara relationship. Yes, it had a couple of nice scenes and the dynamics between kid!Madara & kid!Hashirama were really good as for a Kishi’s standards. But as a piece of the world-building - I mean as a part of a answer for the question “what was the genesis and the purpose of Konoha (and the village system per se)” - it makes no fucking sense. Hear me out.

It’s my first written meta on tumblr. Actually it’s my first that long text written in english, so pls excuse my mistakes. I’ll do what I can to make myself as clear as possible.

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Komahina Fanfiction Masterpost

I thought I’d make this masterpost for AO3 Komahina fics because I love all of these fanfictions, and they need more recognition! I’ve also included summaries and overviews so you’ll know what to expect. If there’s a fanfiction that isn’t included on here, it’s probably left out because this masterpost is really for fics that center on komahina - so there were a couple really really good fics in the komahina tag on AO3, but I left them out because komahina wasn’t the main or secondary idea of the story. Also, I’m including fics that have multiple chapters, so there won’t be any one-shots or super short fics. I really hope you’ll reblog this and check these fics out. If you read them, be sure to leave kudos and a comment letting the author know what you think! Also, if there is an author whose tumblr is not listed below, and you know what their tumblr is, please message me! I’ll edit this and put them in.

Takes place in canon/close to canon

  • Transversal It was always Hinata and Komaeda, Komaeda and Hinata, and it was pretty much strange to see one without the other. Among their circle of friends, there was no one who could have threatened the chance that Hinata had. This takes place during Hinata and Komaeda’s time at Hope’s Peak. It’s a very ingenious story, and creative (not to mention obviously well-written); it keeps you on your toes, desperate to find out what happens next! The characterization is very accurate (except for the characters that are SUPPOSED to be ooc, of course), and it’s very desriptive, attentive writing! Plus, there are certainly many surprising moments in the story. You won’t regret reading this! (It’s one of my all-time favorites and the author is a gem.)
  • Many Hinakoma Opportunities - “And, no offense, but I keep waiting for you to come to your senses and slam the door in my face!“ Komaeda kept smiling as he tapped his fingers on the mattress, watching the faint light from the window catch on his nails. "You’ve put up with my presence for so many nights, I’m starting to wonder about your state of mind, Hinata-kun.” Hinata stared at the ceiling, unsure how to respond. He’d had similar thoughts, truthfully, but it didn’t seem appropriate to agree. Komaeda didn’t let the silence sit for long.“Even for me, I’m probably pushing my luck,” He laughed a little at his own personal joke, “But may I ask for a special favor tonight, Hinata-kun?” (The summary from the third part.) This is a collection that includes a lot of smut - and some really good plot, too! It’s cool if you don’t enjoy reading smut, but if you do - this is some HIGH QUALITY shit right here. And it’s not repetitive at all! Anyway, the characterization is on. point. Plus, there’s fluff - so, overall, this is some really enjoyable writing. The author has made some fanart to go with it as well, be sure to check that out! It’s super cool! (I may be a huge fan… what can I say?)
  • Finally In LoveHe hates the way Chiaki always nods off when he talks to her. He hates Komaeda’s infatuation with hope even more.So, when he begins to find himself slowly falling in love with both of them, he figures he must be crazy. This is so, so, so adorable. Yes, it’s technically komahinami, but it’s just so adorable I had to add it to this list. The dialogue is really interesting… plus the characterization is pretty nice! Overall, it’s believable, which is really important to me personally - if you’re reading something that takes place in canon/close to canon, you want it to be believable, right? Because of that, it’s really easy to appreciate the work!

Post-SDR2

  • Equivalence Hinata watches him sometimes when he visits, the monitors beeping softly. Still, alive, and breathing. It gives him hope.Everyone wakes from the game, older, guilt-ridden, and determined to save the friends that died in the game. Wow, wow, wow. This is seriously some incredible writing! (This is actually the fanfiction that inspired me to start writing my own, so I can’t stress enough how much I love this!) First of all, it’s believable. Reading it makes you think ‘oh, this could DEFINITELY be what happens after the sdr2 kids wake up.’ Second of all, it’s beautiful - the writing is descriptive and there aren’t any glaring mistakes. Lastly, the characterization. Oh, man, you’d think the author was these kids’ psychiatrist or something. ….I’ll stop now before I get too rambly and make this already long post even longer.
  • Elevation Just thinking his name awakens so many memories and feelings within you that you can barely begin to make sense of them all. Bits and pieces begin to fall into place; but the more you remember, the less sense you can make of it all. This is actually my fic so I can’t really give you an objective perspective. I will say, however, that I have big plans for it, and I absolutely will not update it unless I am completely satisfied with the quality; so, I work hard on it. There’s going to be a slow build because I want to be true to how I really think things would go down after sdr2, but I can promise that komahina will be happening. And there will most likely be a ton of it (because it is my life and at this point I honestly cannot imagine a future after sdr2 where Hinata and Komaeda DON’T end up together).
  • The Mortal CityWaking up is never the hardest part. This is one of those “HOLY CRAP” stories. Basically, I can’t find a single thing that’s wrong with this entire work. Characterization, story, descriptiveness, mystery - all of it is on point. It can get a little gruesome, so check out the warnings in the tags. Also, it’s a darker interpretation of what happens after SDR2, but that doesn’t mean it’s without fluff or happy moments. Definitely, definitely, definitely worth checking out!

AUs

  • Impossibly (Un)LuckyIt shouldn’t be possible. And yet, here he is.But then, Komaeda had always been impossibly lucky. Or was it I who was impossibly unlucky? This was the first komahina fanfic I got really into - I ended up printing out the whole thing just so I could read it on the go! You’ll end up wanting to read it over and over again; It’s really, really nice writing, and it’s easy to get into the story. There are moments where it’s a little OOC, but it’s never bad as far as that aspect goes. Plus, it’s an interesting concept and AU. All in all, you’ll definitely enjoy yourself while reading! There are so many cute moments!
  • Long Road To NorthThere’s nothing as hopeless as a life being a regular salesman at a regular office. And after waiting for years for his life to change, he can’t contain his excitement as he finds himself threatened by a knife, held by a brown-haired stranger on the run. Where Hope’s Peak Doesn’t exist. Komaeda’s past and luck is the same as in the game, but Hinata’s past has been altered with canon. It’s pretty well-written and you can tell it’s been thoroughly planned out. Great characterization! …Also… I love works where you get to experience Komaeda slowly realizing how in love with Hinata he is…. 
    • Author: @urponators-gayo
  • The Bridge Of StarsIt’s funny how much things have changed over the years but I hope those feelings of yours are still the same Hinata-kun. I wish I could cheer you on from here but the way things are now, the only thing I can say is: best of luck. This takes place in the 1920′s, and there will be 33 chapters in all once it’s completed. There’s a lot of angst (but it’s not without fluff, don’t worry!) and reading it makes you reeeeeeally want to give Komaeda and Hinata giant hugs. It’s super super well-written! I haven’t noticed a single grammar or spelling issue throughout the whole thing. In all, the characterization is superb, it’s easy to become invested in the story, and utmost respect goes out to the author for writing a believable story that goes with the time period! 
  • The Weeping WisteriaEleven year old Hinata Hajime starts working at the castle not knowing what his true purpose is. He befriends the Crown Prince, Komaeda Nagito and vows to stay by his side. But as time goes on and Hinata realizes the painful truth about his ‘job’ and his friend’s true nature, things start to change. Amidst growing chaos and despair, the Kingdom is falling to ruin and Hinata struggles with being unable to do anything to make things better and not knowing what to do about the loyalty he had sworn to a boy he no longer knows. Mai is a goddess, I swear. This fanfiction should go down in history. It’s a very intricate story, and, as with The Bridge Of Stars, there doesn’t seem to be a single mistake in the whole 34-chapter fic. It’s heartwarming, saddening… It keeps you on your toes… The characterization is beautiful… Just please read this. I promise you’ll love it.
  • Love’s ScriptHajime Hinata and his classmate, Ibuki Mioda, are big fans of the Danganronpa series. When the audition for the live action adaptation of the second game is announced, Ibuki is determined to play her favorite character… and she expects the same from Hinata. At first reluctant, he agrees to go with her… But did he make the right choice? Is he even going to survive?! A non-despair AU where nobody dies and the nerds have fun playing in a TV show. I LOVE this AU. It’s just so much fun and so perfect for the cast. Plus this is very well written and has amazing characterization, I just can’t get enough of this! You’ll have a hard time putting this fic down, that’s for sure!
  • Words Will Be All That I KeepHe’s talking about me. Up there, clearly, to all of these people. He’s talking about me. Would he be as blunt if he knew that I was here? Probably. It’s Komaeda. If he knew where I was standing, he’d probably wink at me, and then blush profusely when he saw me later on. *** AU where Komaeda is a writer and Hinata is a trainee therapist. They dated in college and now Komaeda’s written a book. This is so good?? I feel like the plot really suits the both of them. The characterizations are great, the plot draws you in, and there aren’t any glaring errors! What more could you ask for from a fanfic, really?
  • Hajime’s Adventures A collection of stories of Hajime’s adventures throughout college centered on Komahina. All of the stories are in the same cohesive timeline and are in order (unless specified otherwise). Just fun exciting stories that the group goes through in college. No mental illnesses. This is SUCH a fun fic to read. Not only does the whole sdr2 gang get into some insane (and hilarious) adventures, but there is so much komahina content it’s crazy! And it’s certainly unique; I mean, in one chapter Komaeda comes home early from a school dance to slow dance with Hinata, and in another the two of them end up checking out a sex shop, where Komaeda persuades Hinata to try on some cuffs. Also the relationships Hinata has with everyone is so precious!! He’s close with everyone in some way and you can feel the whole gang looking out for him… And, of course, he and Komaeda are close. Anyway, it has cute moments, sad moments, infuriating moments, sensual moments… Personally, I couldn’t get enough; when I first started reading this I ended up pulling an all-nighter, it’s THAT kind of fic. A must-read! 
  • Fragile Hope - "Hinata-kun,“ Komaeda glanced up, struggling to keep his eyes open. "I’m happy you’re here with me,” he mumbled before falling into a much needed sleep. Hinata smiled and wrapped a blanket around Komaeda. “You’re welcome,” he whispered. Uh oh. This fic includes sick Komaeda! I know, I know; you want to forget about Komaeda’s dementia/cancer as much as I do. Even so, this fic is really, really good, and you shouldn’t let Komaeda’s sickness stop you from reading it! It’s adorable, really. Hinata and Komaeda are so close in this… And you can feel how worried Hinata is for him… Plus there’s some really adorable, heart-warming fluff…. Reading it kind of makes me want to cry… but in the best way. 
  • Lattes and Fluffy CloudsHinata Hajime isn’t really quite sure what draws him into Hope’s Coffee Shop every day. He tells himself it’s just the amazing drinks, but the other half of him insists it’s the barista with the fluffy, white hair that takes his order. This is SO CUTE you guys. Finally a coffee shop AU to add to this list lol. The plot, characterization, and style is all on point! Overall its just too goshdarn cute.
  • Detectives/Detectives: Rip Your Heart OutCrouching down behind large boxes of… well Hinata doesn’t know what’s inside them and, frankly, doesn’t want to find out, is himself and his new partner, Komaeda.“This is by far your worst idea yet!” Hinata whispers aggressively, clenching his teeth and glaring daggers towards the slightly taller albino, “'Let’s go in unarmed, we’ll be in and out, they won’t even know we were there’” Hinata murmurs, trying to do an impression of Komaeda’s voice, making large hand gestures as he does. This fic gives you the feeeeeeels. Seriously, the two of them are so cute, and you can really feel how much they care about each other! There are some sad/angsty moments, especially in the sequel; but that just makes the story better!
  • Love Is DangerousIt happens so quick my brain can’t even register it. But a car comes in the opposite direction, bibbing at the other driver. The guy in the large car panics and swerves to his left, hurtling at an unbelievable speed towards me.“HAJIME!” I hear Makoto yell on the top of his voice, almost screeching.I push myself off of Makoto’s car, but before I can even move, I’m pushed to the floor. I land on my back, hitting my head on the pavement. I slowly raise myself up on my elbows and look up to see Komaeda looming over me, his hand against the large car; a giant dent is encased on the metal. Yes, it is a Twilight Au, but listen - the author stated they were changing it to fit their idea, and it’s SO MUCH BETTER THAN TWILIGHT ANYWAY. (I mean, if you like twilight that’s fine, but in my oh-so-humble opinion, this is MUCH BETTER.) I especially like the different relationships included in this story; Hinata and Naegi’s close sibling bond, HInata and Kuwata’s friendship, and, OF COURSE, everything between Hinata and Komaeda. They’re just so cuuuuute. Can’t wait to see how this fic goes! 
  • For Your Entertainment It’s theatre season once again, and Hope’s Peak Academy has just announced their spring musical; The Drowsy Chaperone. And when the new kid, Hajime Hinata, wins a main role in the cast, he’s thrown together with a strange cast of characters, including Nidai, the overenthusiastic boy whom you might not expect to be as good as he is at directing, Kirigiri, the silent but skillful stage manager, Sayaka, the flirty girl who’s perfectly suited to the spotlight, Sonia, the student who arrived from Europe last summer and captured everyone’s hearts with her charm, Tanaka, the animal trainer and lover of the occult who displays an unexpected talent for the stage, Chiaki, the quiet and sleepy but dedicated gamer who runs the sound and lighting booth, Junko, the bubbly choreographer who scares the living hell out of everyone, and Ishimaru, the loud, uptight prefect who seems out of place onstage but has a neverending supply of enthusiasm to make up for it. Will the drama club of Hope’s Peak be able to pull together a completely student-run musical in just two months? (Probably.) Will everyone retain their sanity? (Probably not.) That was a long summary so I’ll keep this brief! This story is cute, funny, and it’s a unique AU. The characterization is nice, the writing is strong, and pretty much the whole gang is involved. It’s super fun!
  • You’re Live on Monomi Radio! - Hosting a late night radio show was the least of Hinata’s problems. In which two punks become local celebrities, Nanami plays the cupid and Hinata’s favorite caller hits on him. It’s awesome. This was so. Funny. OOC, but they’re supposed to be. The banter between Nanami and Hinata is hilarious! You’ll actually laugh out loud. Plus, the whole thing about how Hinata and Komaeda start talking to each other, and listeners start shipping them? Perfect. I can’t get enough of this!

Misc.

  • KomaHina Drabbles - You make me fall deeper into your spell. And then I’ll end up making a mistake. I’ll end up telling you how I really feel. That would only drive you away. That would make me predictable wouldn’t it? You would have calculated that our physical relationship is something that would nurture the fondness that I have for you. Then would you leave me? I would probably fall deeper into despair if you were to leave me. I would fall into a puddle of tears and grief. (Unfortunately, there wasn’t really a summary of this fic, so I picked out a bit of writing from the 1st chapter. I hope that’s okay.) A lot could be said about this fic, but I’ll keep it simple; it’s well-written, it’s entertaining; it can be serious AND extremely cute and fluffy. A lot of the chapters can be considered part of the same verse. Also, the chapters include very interesting interpretations of the character’s lives and relationships! It’s really enjoyable. It can also be considered kamukoma; both pairings are included. Oh, and it also contains a lot of smut.
  • All Manner Of Sins[30 Day OTP Challenge (NSFW version), chapters have individual summaries and content warnings.] This is HIGH. QUALITY. NSFW. There’s a bunch of different scenarios and ALL of it is super well-written and intricate! Honestly, it’s a must-read! 
  • unabashed debauchery - The scent of Komaeda’s soap clinging to his skin and the green jacket hanging off his shoulders might as well be an advertisement to the world: “I’m banging Nagito Komaeda”. What can I say? It’s super high-quality komahina smut. And you’ll love every word.

EDIT: Fics that have been crossed out are no longer on AO3. A few more fics have been added as well.

vibrate (m)

Title: vibrate

Genre(s): Fluffy things, sexy things, funny things. 

Pairing: Yoongi/Reader

Status: COMPLETE

Description: Your neighbour in apartment 4B has the annoying habit of having sex very loudly. Only, he’s not a gross, old man. He’s young, attractive, and for some inexplicable reason, he’s interested in you.

A/N: Quite a few people have asked me if I’m going to update this story. The updated version has been available to read on Ao3 for a couple of weeks, but I decided since more people are looking out for it on tumblr, I should post it here, too. Enjoy! 


Originally posted by holdmettightbts

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anonymous asked:

Tbh I'm reaching a point where I'm like, fuck the bioware fandom. They adore characters like Solas and Jaal but treat Liam and Vivienne like shit. Cora also gets a bunch of needless hate. They call Blackwall a rapist, which (as an assault victim) I find trivializing. Treat Sebastian Vale like a religious fanatic who wants to burn Hawke at the stake for being a mage. It's like they can't view anything in layers and if they don't like a character they will invent reasons to hate them.

Well, I’m not so sure about speaking in such general terms, but without a doubt, it is a difficult line on which most BioWare characters are dancing. 

If you’ll excuse me for a second, I’m going to get real preachy with you for a second. Please, just bear with me on this one. I’m not going to promise that there is gonna be a point, but if you don’t mind, I’m going to rant at you for a minute. :)

When one is creating any sort of media product intended for large audiences (such as a big budget, AAA video game such as Andromeda or Inquisition), simplicity and complexity are… pretty heavily weighed against each other.

I’m gonna try to explain that.

Since there is the obvious analogy about a proverbial chain being only as strong as its weakest link, most things designed for wide appeal tend to be simple, they tend to stick to convention, they tend to make use of one’s confirmation bias, and not require one to put their aforementioned English Major/English Class hats on, or stepping outside of one’s comfort zone.

And many studios and developers still think of their audience, of that “one”, as a homogeneous mass of 13-25 year old, straight, white guys. This sounds a bit like the anti-millenial bullshit old journalists tend to spew in their impotent hatred towards anyone younger than them, but…. as much as this hurts to admit, there is a kernel of truth in that contemporary media, especially video games, are still very often treated as frivolous, simple entertainment, even by their own audience. (Hence, “it’s just a game” arguments.)

On the other hand, we on tumblr -myself included- tend to have a real boner for analyzing every single line, every syllable of every word uttered in our entertainment. Not only do we have our English Major hats, but also Social- and Media Studies hats, we become a bunch of part-time literary analysts (which I think is SO COOL), and try to look into the media we consume…. potentially (or most likely) deeper than many developers and studios intend.

The thing about BioWare is that… there are very few people who bother to think about the games they produce and consume both as products of contemporary entertainment media, and art. As a piece of literature. As something to analyze and criticize without denying its merits completely.

There are few who stop to think about Blackwall’s obvious 10+ year struggle with immense guilt, self-loathing, and obvious depression which made him believe himself unworthy of friendly- or romantic affection. (Btw, I’m so sorry you were made to feel that way. You definitely did not deserve any of that, and frankly, I don’t even understand where that claim came from? This is a digression, but seriously, someone please point me to an instance in which Blackwall doesn’t ask, and then wait diligently for explicit permission, initiation for, or enthusiastic participation in any physical contact. I’ll wait.)

There are few who stop to consider that when he makes the Big Controversial Claim, Sebastian’s home of god knows how long had just gone up in flames in front of his very eyes, consuming the woman who was a mother in place of his own in a flame of -in his eyes- self-righteous fury.

There are few who stop to think about Vivienne long enough to see just how gentle and caring a soul she is, if only you bother to show her that you are deserving of her kindness, and that you aren’t holding a dagger behind your back, just waiting for her to turn around and let her guard down.

These characters are very nuanced, they are written with so much care by people who Know Their Shit, and I feel even their hearts must bleed when they see what oversimplified, generalized opinions make of their darlings.

Because it is human nature for us to seek what is simple and convenient, especially in our entertainment. It is human to seek what is black and white, and for us to look at shades of grey, and push it one way or the other depending on our preconceived notions. It’s just how our brains look to eliminate uncertainty.

Which is, of course, an explanation, and not an excuse.

I know it’s disheartening. I definitely understand that, and I know it is so much easier to just not bother to write thinkpieces, to think deeply about stories, and just in general participate. I wouldn’t want anyone to do anything in their free time that they find exhausting or annoying. I get it. But I implore you, and everyone reading this, to not give up.

How else am I supposed to rain my long and ranty pieces on just how amazingly strong and sweet Sera is and how hard she is trying to understand things that had been denied her, is or just how much I appreciated that Liam was allowed to be angry without him devolving into a gross stereotype.

And for real fuck Solas tho. Jaal is a sweetheart and I don’t want to drag him into this because he is a character with his own merits, wouldn’t even mention him on the same day as Solas if I could help it because I think they have absolutely zero things in common, but, y’know, fuck Solas.

Theory for Anti's Return

OK. Apologies for all the spamming with Anti shit. But this is so freaking fun. It’s awesome to see Jack working another storm. So I want to get my thoughts out and I’m not good at ‘splainin shit so this is most likely gonna be a big giant mess, but here we go.

Starting off with the beginning of all this shit. That was the collab with Mark in their video “Darkiplier vs. Antisepticeye”. By now, it should be relevant that it was a spoof. That was not the real Darkiplier and Antisepticeye and a spoof of them. Or at least I think. Keep in mind this is all my opinion. Anyways, after that video, that’s when all these Anti hints started. Now I don’t know the order of everything so let’s just throw everything into a shlbamble.

So his Twitter began changing. I don’t remember what it said first, but the second time it said “Imposter” and “Home” on his bio and location. His Tumblr at that time said “Return”. Someone put these together coming up with “Return home, imposter”. I believe this refers to Jack who was playing as Anti in the video. Note: “Anti” wasn’t wearing his gages and he wasn’t acting like himself. Now his Twitter bio is “Deceiver” and the location is “In your head”. I have no idea what to make of this.

Then we had the picture that had Jack and it said “Don’t believe his lies”. So, automatically thinking Anti wants us to not believe anything Jack says about Anti. It also had Morse code written in Zalgo. The first time, it was translated simply to “A”. Then it changed to “SOS”… In Zalgo. So, someone was calling for help. Many think it’s Chase, but to be honest, I haven’t caught up with the Chase thing. So, I don’t have any ideas there. While this Morse code thing was going on, Jack’s Tumblr kept changing. It said “need more” at one time and then apparently, we gave Anti more then his bio changed to “All as planned”. So basically, we just took the bait.

The thumbnail on Jack’s video “The Escapists” changed. He held a card with the date “03/07/17”. At first, I thought March 7 or something like that because I’m American and so I read it like an American date. Once it changed only did I realize that it was August because it was in UK format. It then changed to “03/08/17” which is August 8. Which… Is three days from now. Three days from now is supposed to be Jack uploading a video for the “Let’s Make Art” video. Now, I know I wasn’t the only one, but it seemed a little random at the time so of course there is something happening. Also, along with the Morse code that had the letter “A”. There’s three more letters to spell out Anti. Three more days, three more letters. Curious if he’s going to spell out his name to confirm that he’s coming.

I’m most likely forgetting something from all that, but I’m watching YouTube at the same time as I’m writing this, but now lemme get to the most recent. The good ol Doc. Or is he?

On Jack’s Instagram, we got a friendly visit from the Doc. The picture had some of Jack’s new lights (the blue/green and red ones) shining on Schneeplestein. The tag was “Ze good doctah” with the last part of doctah in Zalgo. But here’s the thing. One of his eyes was bleeding. Apparently, Chase was killed by Anti. Last Halloween, Jack was killed by Anti. Schneeplestein is possibly under attack now. The only other ego is Jackaboy Man, but there isn’t really any focus around him. So it seems that Anti is killing everyone. Schneeplestein seemed like the other evil ego, but apparently there’s only room for one. Or at least that’s what it seems. So…

It seems that on August 3, we will have answers, but until then, I’ll keep posting shit as I see it and stuff. So, I’m keeping on the prowl. Anyways, I most likely missed some things, but I am honestly super stoked to see what Jack and Robin have up their sleeves.(Becuase if Anti does return, Robin is gonna be doing hell of editing). I’m also working on a shitty art piece for the Septic Art event that involves Anti and everything that’s been going on recently so yay. Anyways, thanks for reading and sorry for the non organized throwing together of things. Feel free to tell me what you think. Can’t wait to see what happens next. Hopefully Jack is done for the day.

@therealjacksepticeye
Why Cullen Rutherford should be everyone’s favorite

So it has come to my attention that some people feel that Cullen in a boring character. That he’s too good, or too much of a boyscout. Even the people who played Origins and DA2 somehow feel he’s boring, or even worse somehow forget he’s even in the games to begin with. This cannot stand. 

So let me enlighten you on why Cullen Stanton Rutherford is one of the best goddamn characters in Dragon Age. Open your books to page 394, cause y’alls about to get schooled.

As a child, my sweet bb wanted to be a hero and help people. He saw the shiny armor and the awesome swords of the few templars in his podunk little town, and he heard the stories about how they saved lives and fought monsters, and the curly-haired little shit was all in. His siblings made fun of him at first, but he still went to train with the locate templars everyday to prove he could do it.

Time skip Shippuden-style. Cullen, at age 14, was recognized for his potential and sent off to the templar school for anti-witchcraft and wizardry. Even though most templars start their training much younger, my beautiful little hedgehog loved his training, and managed to catch up to, and eventually surpass, the other initiates. My boy probably hadn’t even kissed a girl before because he’s shy AF but he could take down a blood mage like nobodies business.

My sweet, sweet summer child happily took the lyrium and pledged himself to the Order when he was 18. Poor bb was so excited to finally go out and help people like he had dreamed of doing for so long. He was sent to the Fereldan circle tower.

He’s an idealistic youth, and he thinks the mages deserve more freedom than they get trapped in the circle. He believes the templars are there to protect people from magic, but also to protect the mages in the circle. He’s just a sweet bit of baklava who’s too good for Thedas.

After the circle is overrun with abominations and blood magic, Cullen is the only surviving templar, who’s not only had to endure days of torture, but also had to watch as his templar brothers fall one by one to the blood mages. By the time the hero finds him, he begs for death…my poor, sweet bb cuddlefish. 

(This part is made about 1000 times more painful if the hero of Fereldan is a lady mage, because Cullen had a mad crush on her )’: ) 

After surviving this horrible ordeal, Cullen is sent to the circle in Kirkwall, were he eventually becomes second-in-command(you go bb). Being a little older, and having suffered severe mental scars from his ordeal in Fereldan, my sweet, innocent little cinnamon roll has a harsher outlook on magic then before. While he still believes in protecting mages, he’s beliefs about having more freedom are just dust in the wind now. He even believes there’s merit in the argument for using the rite of tranquility more frequently. As the years go by, he starts to question Meredith’s extremes, but continues to follow her and be kind of an asshole.

After Meredith goes coco for red lyrium, Cullen takes command of the Kirkwall templars and helps Hawke after Meredith’s defeat. After trying to get the city back in order, Cullen takes Cassandra’s offer to join the inquisition, and leaves his templar life behind.

THINK ABOUT THAT THOUGH. Being a templar and helping people is all he ever wanted to do! He dedicated his whole life to it, and even after being TORTURED he still continues because he wants to do good in the world. His views about mages become more radical because of this, more hateful. But then he sees his knight-commander, a templar who’s supposed to be a hero, and guiding light of goodness and respectability, sink so far as to try and kill the cities savior. The templars aren’t perfect anymore, and the last bit of childhood innocence inside him finally dies as he tries to come to terms with that. He has to realize that mages aren’t the only ones doing horrible things, that maybe he’s been too harsh on them because of the actions of a few, and maybe he’s been too forgiving of the templars behaviors because he wanted to see them as just. His whole world view is fucked and he STILL KEEPS HELPING PEOPLE, because that’s what he does. He does his best to get Kirkwall as close to okay as he can, and even after leaving his childhood dream behind, he keeps fighting for good in the inquisition. (ah shit, I got legit there for a second; I’ll return to my bullshit tumblr speech now)

After joining the inquisition, sweet, pajama-wearing Cullen decides to break his addiction to lyrium, despite KNOWING it could kill his fine ass. He’s constantly in pain, and his nightmares about the Fereldan circle increase significantly, but he STILL wants to put the inquisition and helping people above his own needs. My sweet armadillo even admits that he’s ashamed of the person he was after he left Fereldan. He tells you he’s disgusted by how he used to think of mages(but only if you’re a mage, and you tappin’ that) 

So maybe you don’t want to romance this fine piece of man meat(even I support romancing the egg as the most canon option, even if he’s not half as fine), and maybe he still isn’t your favorite character, but don’t you ever suggest that he’s too good, or perfect, or one-dimensional; because he’s been through more than any character in the whole damn series and despite everything he still CHOOSES to believe that people are good and worth saving. 

An Unapologetic Ardyn Appreciation Post

****FFXV END GAME SPOILERS AHEAD****

So, let me start out by saying: I LOVE THE HELL OUT OF ARDYN IZUNIA

I’ve loved him since I first saw his character in Kingsglaive, and despite his slightly altered appearance in the game, loved him every step of the way there, too. He is a creepy motherfucker through and through, with a tragic backstory and an amazing voice actor (Note: I have only heard his English VA, Darin De Paul, who is brilliant imo). i

Ardyn gets a lot of hate on Tumblr, especially from Prompto fans - but I’m here to prove that YES! You CAN love them both! 

(This is pretty long…..)

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02. things you said through your teeth.

Roy leans back in his chair, wearing the laziest, most indulgent smirk he can manage, and steeples his fingers on top of his work desk. “Well, Fullmetal,” he says slowly.

Ed squirms and twitches on the couch in apparent discomfort, thin-lipped and angry-eyed, and Roy knows it’s only his own pride keeping him from springing and pouncing Roy like a wild animal. Such a wonderful concept.

“I’m waiting,” Roy says, smirking harder.

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Arima’s Vision at V14

This was going to be a post on Arima’s general fighting style but I’ll be focusing on just one thing this time.

Alright so I wrote this some time ago but tumblr deleted it when I clicked ‘post’ instead of … you know …actually fucking posting it.

So here I am, back to typing this out once again now that my bitterness is subsiding. It took me so long to get it all down too and now I’m doing it all over again :D


The main two points I want to focus on when talking about Arima’s fight vs Kaneki is that:

  • He couldn’t see Kaneki
  • He depends on his sense of hearing to be able to fight.

The signs start to point toward this in the first panel between Kaneki and Arima.

Arima already has problems with his vision and the dim environment of V14 (night vision being a serious weakness in people with Retinitis pigmentosa, something that Arima might have), along with the distance between him and Kaneki made it very unlikely that he’d be able to see him when he walked in. 

But he could hear Kaneki walking in (cue the creepy head turn).

Note the shading on Arima’s eyes. I’ll be pointing out the parts of chapters 137- 139 where there’s a lot of attention focused on how his eyes are presented.

At this point Arima is unaware of who Kaneki is and he’s just as disinterested in him as the ghouls littering the area. He’s running on autopilot when he starts walking towards the direction where he last heard footsteps.

The glare on his glasses shows his state of ‘blindness’.
In general this is something you’ll see a lot with Arima when he’s concentrating - in this case it means he’s not bothering with paying attention to his vision because it’s more efficient for him to focus on his other senses - specifically his hearing. Think of it as a state of hyper-awareness. Keeping his body physically neutral and mind focused are the two best options for a fighter with his disadvantage.

And again on the same page we see the panels focusing on Arima’s eyes.

Blank, unfocused, distant - still walking towards the place where he last heard the footsteps.

Throughout all this Kaneki is frozen in place since first stepping into V14. He’s panicking and unable to decide on his first move. 

His mistake?

Kaneki finally made a sound by stepping forward.

In that instant he’s impaled by Arima in the very next panel.

Note the position of Arima’s eyes. He’s not even sparing a glance in Kaneki’s direction. Still efficiently maintains his neutral stance.

Kaneki recovers but when he steps away in an attempt to flank Arima,

another immediate follow up to the sound.

The same pattern repeats itself above: eyes turned away from his opponent, never actually looking at Kaneki or where he’s hitting him. His face is turned downward in concentration.

You can also see that Arima has finally dropped his stance for something much more severe. When looking at the dramatic position of his left foot, it’s as if he’s a split second late in reacting to Kaneki’s movement and is catching up after having an “Ahha, found him!” moment.

At this point Kaneki completely freaks out and becomes an elephant in the room.

Swoosh swish indeed (no doubt Arima enjoys fighting).
Maybe if he was a bit more tactical with his kagune’s movements he may have gotten somewhere with this.

It’s only when Arima hears Kaneki reciting Hakushuu,

that he pauses to give us that famously out of the blue expression.

“That’s … not supposed to happen.”

No but really, hearing this poem was probably what snapped Arima out of his hyper-focused autopilot and made him want to at least attempt to see what was in front of him.

It didn’t take long after Kaneki telling him the author of the poem for Arima to finally put the pieces together and figure out who it is he’s fighting.

Then randomly, Arima starts telling Kaneki that if he pays close attention he can tell that it’s raining outside by the sound of the flowing sewer water.

This is relevant to one of the main points I’ve been mentioning: Arima is a person who’s dependent on his sense of hearing. 

The fact that he would point out something as obscure as this shows that he’s a person who pays attention to the sounds in his environment and has experience in using it to analyze his surroundings. 

But I don’t think this is the result of just practice. I think it’s also possible that Arima has a better than average sense of hearing due to genetics.

He’s 16 during JACK, an age where serious stages of vision loss are rare. I’ll assume that during that time Arima did not go out of his way to hone his sense of hearing because he could still depend on his eyes, yet…

he did something that made the fandom question the species he belonged to. How could he have pinpointed Yamori’s position so precisely? Most likely because genetically speaking, Arima was born with an impressive sense of hearing.

Whatever it is the Sunlit Garden does to their children, that trait may be the result of it.

Anyways, that’s mostly what I wanted to say. Also the post isn’t implying that Arima was literally blind during V14.

The dimly lit underground enclosure + Arima’s habit of shirking his deteriorating vision aside during battles was what resulted in him behaving as if he were.

That is all thanks, feel free to message me about this because I left out some explanations because I didn’t want the post to get any longer. Hopefully that didn’t lead to any confusion :(


Bonus: I only decide to rewrite this because the people in my TG chat were seriously having fun with this shit. 

I present to you: Arimasaurus-Rex

by @daedalushlp

Roommates

Summary: Jude and Connor are friends over the internet, and they’re both starting college. But surprisingly, it turns out that they’re roommates! As great as it sounds, both Jude and Connor are wrestling with developing feelings for each other, and close proximity may be the last thing they need. Will they fall in love? Or simply fall apart?

A/N: So this is an early/unexpected update, but as I was writing Chapter 13 I was struck with the thought that a backstory for Josh would be really interesting, and after an anon from Tumblr asked for a backstory as well, I decided to do it. I’ll be honest, the story sort of got away from me as it’s almost 7500 words but I really loved this backstory I created. This is also the first piece I’ve ever written in first person POV. This technically is a side story but I would not recommend skipping it as the other character I introduced here, Tyler, is going to become a big part of Roommates.

Chapter 14 - Josh’s Story

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millipop  asked:

sing to me, muse: clarke pov?

Original fic!


If you think about it, there’s nothing wrong with flirting with two people, especially when you don’t have a chance with either of them. It’s just–it’s fun. Because, okay, Clarke has had a thing for Bellamy for years, but she’s completely incapable of doing anything useful with it. Useful, in this case, meaning either making a move on him or moving on from him. She mostly just thinks he’s hot, likes arguing with him, and sometimes Octavia will really deliberately and unsubtlely leave them alone and Bellamy will completely fail to notice. It’s fun, but–it’s never going to turn into a relationship. He’s not interested in her like that.

So it’s fine, that she also kind of has a thing for Gen.

He’s far from her first fandom crush; Clarke’s been doing this for years, and it’s easy to develop things. There’s this weird sort of intimacy to fandom relationships, where you learn a lot about things people don’t usually talk about, but miss a lot of basics. Plenty of times, Clarke has wondered idly if something could happen between her and her favorite fanfic writer, only to be caught off guard when they mention that they’re straight or taken or live in another country.

The first time something happens like that with Gen, it’s when she sees he’s a guy, which–she doesn’t know a lot of men like Gen in fandom, guys who write shipfic and seem to enjoy romance, which is probably why it’s such a surprise. It takes a little getting used to, which bothers her in terms of her own internal prejudices, but once she has, she just likes him. He’s smart and funny and has good opinions on canon, and she looks forward to talking to him. It’s nothing serious–she knows even less about him than she does about most of her fandom friends–but it’s still a little bit exciting.

And it’s fine to flirt with him and Bellamy both. Even if Octavia keeps side-eyeing her.

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anonymous asked:

Hey it's the ACOTAR anon again, my friend brought up a good point that Tamlin was horrible from the start i.e. Rhys TAUGHT Feyre to write, Tamlin wanted to write for her

omGGGGGG don’t even get me started


Like, I read this post on tumblr somewhere that really resonated with me about the mindfuck that is Tamlin/abuse etc. I can’t find the post right now, but basically it was about how the OP didn’t really care for Tamlin in book 1, and as he did shit/chose things, the OP even REMEMBERED THINKING: That’s not right, that’s unhealthy, that’s weird, that’s problematic.

But the end of the book came and Feyre seemed to get her Happy Ever After with him, so the OP shrugged it all off and said, “welp good for her I guess.”

Then the second book comes out. And no, you can pretty clearly see the abuse that Feyre suffers with Tamlin because of his control issues and his obsession with keeping her safe and accessible at all times. And the OP had this moment of, “Oh my God, I watched an abusive relationship happen and then I totally GLOSSED OVER IT and accepted it because Feyre got her happy ending.” And it hit me hard because I did the same thing! I did the same exact damn thing.

I didn’t LIKE Tamlin in the first book. I thought he was passive and too willing to sit in his tower and let shit happen around him. While there was clearly a logic to how tight of a leash he kept on her in that first book, it still bothered me because it’s GROSS to mess with someone’s sense of autonomy even if it’s a dangerous world and you’re worried about them.

But in the first book, he did it with a very light touch. VERY light. He didn’t say, “I forbid you from doing xyz” (for the most part), he couched it in words like “It’s too dangerous,” “you could get hurt,” etc. He basically used his Concern as a prison, and on the surface it looks kind of sweet (and if you recall, Feyre had a very tough life up until then, and I’m sure she was aching for someone to step in and “take care of her” a bit, because it would be such a new and wondrous feeling).

So the insidious thing happens where book 2 rolls about. The Big Bad Bitch is six feet under, and now Tamlin has nothing to fear from no one.

So what does he do?

He starts whipping out the control-words. He won’t LET her do this. He FORBIDS her from that. He’s no longer worried about losing her and condemning his life to Amarantha’s toy, and he’s determined to never lose that kind of control again. So what looked kind of sweet in book 1 now becomes a terrifying NIGHTMARE for Feyre, where she’s basically trapped on all ends: She can’t say “fuck this” and go HOME. She’s a Fae now. She’ll never be accepted there. Someone will probably try to kill her. She can’t cross Tamlin because he’s basically her king. He keeps her separated from her peers and her entire social circle is Ianthe and Lucien (two Tamlin-Approved Friends ™). He essentially shrinks her entire world down to a nice little controllable area with the intent of controlling her life.

This is abuse. It happens every day IRL. To see it explored in a fantasy novel is somewhat amazing, especially because you can tell that the author KNOWS it’s happening, has always known it was happening, and specifically built it in that way so that the insidious nature of Tamlin’s obsession comes out in bits and pieces – it was hinted at in the first book, and then it unravels in the second.

Worst of all, Lucien, who is supposed to be a real friend of Feyre’s, basically fucks her over just to keep the peace. He is the epitome of every person that turns a blind eye to abuse because they don’t want to make waves. If I was in Feyre’s position by the end of book 2, I’d be perfectly willing to end all possibility of friendship with him forever on the basis that he is a cowardly little asshole who would rather watch his “friend” shrivel up and DIE from the abuse she’s suffering (to the point that he’s willing to basically gaslight her about it to make her think she’s the one being unreasonable) than suffer any sort of interpersonal issues with Tamlin. That’s beyond fucked up. I’m not sure I’m willing to accept him as redeemable tbh, he really pissed me off in this book. He is the perfect example of when male passivity (he’s not willing to step in and tell Tamlin he’s being a fuck) is actually VIOLENT towards women. Being a bystander doesn’t excuse him from the emotional and psychological violence he is inflicting on Feyre.

Then you have Rhys.

I won’t lie; I thought Rhys was a fucking tool in book 1. I didn’t like Tamlin, but I preferred Tamlin to Rhys (and Lucien to them both, although obviously that changed). Rhys’ motivation was purposefully hidden to make him seem like your typical Dark Sexy Edgelord, and I honestly thought his inclusion was for the purpose of playing out the Isn’t Rape/NonCon Kinda Sexy? trope.

Then book 2 happens, and I. Am. In. Love. With. This. Fucker.

Rhys’ act is a terrible one, but the important thing is that he makes sure Feyre is aware of the act and why it exists. He does have some issues with sharing and communication (I understand why, but I also understand why it would piss Feyre off so badly, it would upset me too), but you see development as the book goes on where he tries to be more upfront. He is ACTIVELY trying to improve himself, while understanding that for SOME ungodly reason, his mate is in love with Sir Fuckbutt of the Spring Court. He’s not biding his time and waiting for her to come to her senses and CHOOSE him. He was going to let the wedding to Tamlin happen. He respects Feyre’s decisions, even when they’re not fully informed, and doesn’t try to even drop the Mate thing on her in order to convince her to choose him, instead.

He doesn’t try and lock Feyre up for her own safety. He is nervous when she’s in danger (obviously), but not once does he try and tell her that she can’t do something or that he won’t let her do something. He will offer advice or a warning that she’s stepping into a dangerous situation, but he leaves the choice to her.

And that’s really important. Autonomy is one of the most important things a person can have, and trying to take that away from a person is dehumanizing and also TERRIFYING. Rhys understands that and even when his instincts tell him to protect her at all costs, he is actively working against his own inner nature in order to not infringe upon her autonomy at all. That is the big lesson, here: Not that Rhys is just naturally a better person, because he has the same dumbass instincts Tamlin does. But Rhys RECOGNIZES them, sees himself clearly for the flawed individual he is, and makes the conscious decision not to fall prey to his own instincts. He chooses Feyre’s psychological health over the possibility of him feeling slight discomfort or uncertainty, and Tamlin DOESN’T.

That’s the big difference between them. Tamlin has decided that he would sacrifice anything in order to make himself happy, to build a safe place for himself. Rhys has decided (multiple times and at great personal cost throughout the last few centuries) that he’d rather sacrifice himself for others. He put himself through torture of the worst kind for FIFTY YEARS to keep a city of his people safe.

He’s fucking magical and if something happens in book 3 that undoes everything good he did in book 2, I will be fucking devastated. I love him. He’s the best.

And fuck Tamlin.


this got really long I’m sorry

More than This-Stiles Stilinski/Theo Raeken {part 14}

*gif not mine - found through google image search*


[click here for part 1-13/masterlist]

A/N: First of all, happy new year! :) I hope you guys had a nice new year’s eve ( or depending on your time zone you will have a nice one). I’m actually really proud of myself, like, i’m updating again? who am i? is this real life? idk I’m just really motivated at the moment and also have a lot of free time because of winter break :) I think this chapter is one of my favorites, idk why, i put a lot of effort into it and it is really emotional. I hope you enjoy reading, have a box of tissues ready if you cry easily. (like me) Love you guys endlessly. xx


warnings: sexual content, swearing, kinda angsty


,,God, I missed you.”

,,I missed you too.” I mumbled while nuzzling my face in the crook of his neck.

I held onto him as long as I could, because I was sure the moment I looked him straight in the eyes, I would faint. Never in my life have I ever felt this bad.

Eventually he let go of me and motioned for me to sit down on my bed next to him.

,,So, how was the trip?” he asked and the way he said it made me feel even worse. Because it was obvious that he had no clue. He doesn’t even know Stiles went with us.

,,It was fine…I guess.” I shrugged, being really bad at hiding my uneasiness.

Theo looked concerned, he gently caressed my cheek before asking me if everything was okay.

,,Yeah I’m just tired, the car drive was kind of exhausting and I had….an emotional talk with Kira today.” I tried my best to avoid his gaze, fearing he would see right through my lie.

,,Oh well, if you want you could talk to me about it. You know you can always come to me right?”

,,Maybe another time yeah?” i took his hand in mine, squeezing it lightly.

He opened his mouth and then closed it again, deciding to let the subject untouched for now, which I was grateful for.

Right know all I wanted was to be close to him. As close as possible. Seeing him now, sitting on my bed with his puppy eyes, being so worried about me, I realized that I did in fact miss him. And maybe if I would let myself get lost in him, it would ease the pain I felt inside, the growing pit in my stomach because of what had happened.

There was a little voice inside my head that kept reminding me that I need to tell him the truth, because that’s what he deserves. But I shut that voice up with all I had, because the thought of losing him was too much to bare.

So instead, I pulled Theo to me, lacing my hands behind his neck and press a gentle kiss on his lips, which soon got deeper and more passionate. Sliding my tongue in his mouth, I was met with his familiar minty taste again. His hand glided down my body, resting on my hips while I straddled him. His lips moved passed my jawline up to my ear, where he gently bit my earlobe, making me moan.

A low chuckle came from him ,,Shh (y/n), your parents are home.” He warned, looking at my bedroom door.

,,I don’t care.”  I responded, rubbing against him with more pressure to get his full attention again, whereupon he groaned.  

I was already starting to undress myself, when he grabbed my wrist to stop me.

,,(y/n), as much as I like to do this right now, we can’t. Not with your parents downstairs. You haven’t even introduced me to them yet, I don’t want their first impression of me being fucking her daughter senseless while they’re in the living room watching national geographic.”

Pushing myself off of him and flopping down on my mattress, I let out an exaggerated  groan of frustration.

,,First of all, talking about ‘fucking me senseless’ does not help the whole not having sex right now thing at all. And second of all I’m not going to introduce you to them. In fact, I’m not going to talk to them at all.”

Laying down beside me, obviously confused he asked me to explain.

,,Why don’t you want to talk to them?”

Fiddling with my hands – a habit I must have picked up from Stiles…god don’t think about Stiles right now you idiot – I told him that I had a fight with them and that they ‘were not worthy of knowing him’.

Theo grinned widely, a sight that made my stomach flutter but also made me sad.

,,You are such a child.” He nudged my shoulder and I pouted.

,,No I’m not! They don’t deserve getting to know you okay?”

For a while he just smiled at me, before he placed his lips on my forehead, then kissing me sweetly.

,,What was that for?” I asked, grinning back at him.

There was a moment of silence, followed by him gently pushing a strand of hair behind my ear.

Looking me in the eyes he mumbled.

,,Because I love you.”

It was like a million emotions at once. My room started spinning and I felt like throwing up. Did he really just confessed that he was in love with me? I wasn’t sure what I felt. There was a side of me that wanted to reciprocate those three words so badly. Because when I’m with him I’m happy. And he makes me laugh and feel beautiful and appreciated. And he is caring, funny, gorgeous, selfless and just perfect in any way.

There was really no reason for me to not love him.

Expect, there was. Stiles. That stupid pale, mole-covered sarcastic piece of shit that I know my whole life and that has crept his way inside my heart. Claiming it. Making it impossible for me to let him go.

So instead of telling him I loved him back, I blurted out the worst thing that someone in this situation could possibly say.

,,I slept with Stiles.”

His face fell and in an instant I regretted my words, but I couldn’t take them back. He jumped off the bed and turned away from me, hectically running his hands through his hair.

I sat up, my head hung low.

,,Theo I-“

,,Just be honest with me was what I asked you to do. All I ever wanted you to be was honest (y/n)! Goddammit.” His voice cracked and when I looked up for a second, I saw him tearing up.

,,I know and i..i…” I stuttered, trying to find the right words.

,,No you don’t. I told you over and over again, that if you don’t want to be with me, you could tell me and I would leave you alone. And then you fucking have sex with Stilinski?!” his jaw clenched and he was getting louder. I knew his anger was growing but I didn’t know how to stop it.

I quickly stood up and started walking towards him, but he backed off immediately.

,,I know I fucked up badly! I didn’t want this to happen Theo I swear!” my throat tightened and I could feel myself beginning to cry. This time I didn’t try to prevent it. I wanted to let all my emotions out, for him to see. So he would see that I do care.

,,Yes you did (y/n). And that’s the point. I should have known all along..god I’m such a fucking idiot! I knew that you had feelings for Stilinski and I still chose to ignore it because I thought if I prove to you that I can treat you better than he can, you would realize you don’t need him. He doesn’t fucking deserve you (y/n)!”

,,What am I supposed to do Theo?” I asked in almost a whisper. My face damp, covered in tears.

,,Tell me how to fix this.”

He shook his head, looking away from me before saying ,,I don’t think you can.”

Theo grabbed his jacket he had hung over the back of my chair and excited my room without another word, leaving me crying into my pillow for the rest of the night.

[Click here for part 15]


Tagged: There was this really sweet girl who messaged me and asked me if i coud tag her in my story. @ladylizzieofdarbyshire thank you for your kind words and explaining tumblr to me lol :D

Someone else i’d like to tag is @sassysweetstories bevause they’ve been here to read MTT since day one, and i’m so thankful for that. You’re messages always make my day, so thank you :)

And last but not least, @sweetvengeancee so adorable, made me tear up. we chatted for a while about MTT and i loved reading your opinions on it :)

Chapter 3 of Thor 3: Destruction of Ovaries

FANDOM: Tom Hiddleston RPF

CHARACTERS: Tom Hiddleston and Faith (Original Female Character)

SUMMARY: Faith has an impossible mission to fulfill: Go through the whole production of Thor: Ragnarok without letting Tom know she is one of his crazy fangirls. A task of Herculean proportions, because she is the set costumer for this fic.

RATING: Explicit

TYPE: Multichapter (Work in Progress)

Find everything I have written here. Find other chapters of this fic here.

Chapter Notes: Since we are going to be dealing with Loki’s trousers today (O_O), here is a high definition photo of what I will be talking about:


Chapter 3: Of Broken Costumes and Awkwardness

I hate closed sets.

Here I am, sitting on the set of  one of the most anticipated superhero movies of all time, and I cannot even enter the building where they are shooting it. So I am left to go through all the costumes, the ones that are made and the ones that are not, nagging the accountants for a bit more money and threatening errant workers.

I hate it.

I mean, it is not as if someone is getting naked in there. No, it’s just that one of us might blab the crucial plot points out into the blogosphere. Can’t have that!

“Faith!”

I turned around to see one of the ADs running towards me, his eyes stormy. Uh oh. When an AD looks troubled, shit’s about to happen. He came to a stop in front of my desk, slammed his hand against it, and said, “You are needed.” I immediately started to move while he explained. “Tom’s costume ripped–or broke, the thing is more metal than not. It’s those things on his thigh… They were doing this pretty tame sequence, and one of the stunt guys got to excited and got too close with the sword–”

I stopped abruptly on my hurried way to Sound Stage 3. “Is he alright?”

“Yeah, he’s fine. The things on his thigh though…” He trailed off, making a vague gesture by his outer thigh.

“Scales,” I supplied as we entered the live set. “We call them scales.”

It was a mess, like any production is. Most of the big sound stage was dark, though an area somewhere in the middle was brightly lit, green CGI drape looming in the background. There were cables everywhere, lying coiled in places, ready like snakes to trap you and cause you to fall. I maneouvered through them by keeping my eyes peeled, then looked around for familiar green and gold.

Tom was seated on a chair guzzling down a bottle of water. He smiled sheepishly at me as I approached, surveying the damage to the outside of the stretched thigh. The scales were intact, thank God, even though the fabric they had been attached to was ripped in a cut going from high on the inside of his right thigh to low on the outside. The double leather straps that went over that side were cut too.

I sighed and turned to Jason, who had followed me to the set. “The spare double strap belt, and my repair kit. Don’t forget the thimble, and add one of the super glue tubes in case something does decide to fall out.”

He hurried out without a word.

“Sorry,” Tom said softly. “I should have been more careful.”

I smiled and shook my head. This man! “Don’t apologise, Mr. Hiddleston. Happens all the time.”

Kenneth Branagh was hurrying up to me. “Can you replace it?”


“No sir,” I replied quickly. “Both the spare trousers are out of commision. We can hurry along the one that went to laundry, but still… I can fix this one in about ten-twenty minutes. It is the quickest way.”

“Twenty minutes?”

“Tops.”

“Does he need to get out and then back into the costume?”

We all knew how much precious time that would take. “Nope.”

“Okay, then.” He turned to watch Jason run up with the requested stuff, and said distractedly, “Thank you.” He hurried away.

I smiled at Tom as I started to kneel next to the plastic chair he sat in. “Bet I can do it in five.”

“Oh no, please, don’t kneel.” At my raised eyebrows, he colored up a bit. “It will be uncomfortable on the floor. Please, I will stand for you. Here, take my chair.”

I smiled at him as I sat and opened my kit on the floor. I had a moment of pure fangirl panicgasm as I realised that Tom Hiddleston’s tight black boxers were a foot from my face. I stared at that black cloth for a couple of seconds, wondering about the fact that I was going to touch Tom Hiddleston’s underwear. Apparently he had no problems with that. Or with shoving his crotch in my face. I stifled an inappropriate giggle. “I hope Loki is fine. I have only seen bits of the script that are relevant to the department. Can you tell me who he is fighting?”

“No,” he said as he watched me thread a needle with twinkling eyes. “But I can tell you he is enormous and gold.”

“Everyone is in Asgard,” I said. When I touched his thigh, he jumped a bit. I smiled and went to work, trying to realign the pieces of leather and sew them together again.

“Yes, well, this one even has eyes of gold,” Tom said mischievously.

My hands stilled on the leather. I looked up into his eyes and saw that he wasn’t joking. Shit, shit, SHIT! “H-Heimdall? He’s fighting Heimdall?”

Tom looked confused by my fearful expression. “Yes, he is. But don’t tell anyone I told you.”

I gulped. “I hope he survives. Please, God, let him survive. Please.” My hands started moving again, golden thread entering at uniform intervals and tying the gash together. None of the scales felt lose to the touch, and I was glad.

“Do you know a lot of Norse mythology, Faith?”

“Nope,” I said, raising my eyes for a second to make eye contact. “But I know almost every story of the poetic Edda with Loki in it. Prose too. The others? Not so much.”

“So you know all the weird stories. That’s why you are scared of Heimdall.”

“My whole Tumblr and Twitter family is. He is a threat we do not take lightly.”

“You are on Twitter?”

“Everyone is, Mr. Hiddleston.”

“Right,” he ehehehed awkwardly. “What’s your… uh, the name you use?”

“My username?” I looked up at him, looking down at me like a colossus. I thought briefly about my fanfiction and the direct posts from my Tumblr account to my Twitter one. “Not if you gave me a thousand hugs.”

He laughed again. “Why? It is a very sincere question. I am serious.”

“I am serious as a heart attack too. You do not want to see what a fangirl’s mind looks like. You think Loki’s mind is a bag full of cats? We are worse. Much worse.” Having appropriately warned him, I returned to the task at hand.

“So, can I be sneaky about it and find your Twitter, or will that be too forward of me?”

“He asks the woman who is so forward she knows the answer to boxers or briefs,” I said without thinking. Then I gave myself a mental slap for saying it, even as he laughed. “Sorry. I would much rather you didn’t.”

He just smiled.

I was almost done repatching the outermost edge of the torn material, so I focused on the part higher up on his thigh. With a sigh, I tried to calm my shaking fingers. He noticed. “Don’t worry, you won’t hurt me.” Someone came up to him and handed him a piece of paper to read. I guessed they were the lines he had to read.

Yeah, that’s the reason why I am shaking. Fear. You keep thinking that, you clueless baby. “I am just going to do this bit here now. Please don’t move, or I might nick you.”

He nodded, and I slipped the index and middle fingers of my right hand between the leather and the soft cotton underneath. It was going to be tricky. With my left hand, I started to sew. The skin of his upper thighs was warm–he must be ridiculously hot in the costume–and hard. I could feel the muscles beneath my fingers, the strength they exerted to keep him still. Runner’s legs. God, he had really beautiful legs. It also didn’t hurt his looks any that he has thighs as long as my entire leg.

The crisp smell of him, combined with the leather, was intoxicating. I leaned forward, unconsciously wanting to get closer. He smelled clean–soap and man–underneath the leather. When I realised I was taking a big sniff, I stopped and looked back up, wondering if he noticed.

He had.

The lines he was supposed to be memorizing were dangling from limp hands as he stared intensely at me, his blazing eyes leaving no question in my mind that he had noticed my sniffing him like a bitch in heat. I wanted to apologize, but suddenly I was too aware of how close we were, of how his hand was twitching right next to my shoulder, and how I was almost leaning into him. Scared by the intent way he looked at me, aroused by his licking of his lower lip, I shifted my torso back.

And nicked myself with the damn needle.

“Ah, fuck me,” I muttered furiously, immediately letting go of the needle and pressing my thumb into the injured finger. Above me, Tom deflated, going from sexy eye-fuck to bewildered panic in less than a second.

“Are you okay? Would you like me to call for a first-aid kit? I should–sorry. I–”

It was as far as he got before I started laughing. “Tom. Stop. I am fine, see?” I held up my finger. “It’s fine. Take a deep breath.”

He laughed awkwardly. “You sure?”

“Yes,” I said as I looped a knot into the thread. “I am all done, too. There. Like it never happened.” I stroked the leather a couple of times, smoothing it out, checking for any non-conformity or uneven stitches in the pattern. His thigh twitched. I removed my hand and started packing up my things.

“I still owe you dinner,” he said suddenly.

“Pardon me?”

“Dinner,” he repeated. “I still owe you dinner for that sub you bought me.”

“Oh please,” I laughed. “You can buy me a sub any time you want. I am perpetually hungry.”

“Tell you what,” he said. “Chris just told me about a great little place that has great smoked eel. I was hoping to try it out. How about Saturday?”

“…Huh? You wanna take me out? To eat? Like, sit and eat?” Yeah, me? The ape making guttural noises at you? “You don’t have to, Mr. Hiddleston. I mean it.”

“I know I don’t have to,” he replied. “But I want to. Are you busy Saturday night?”

I thought briefly about my plans to eat a ton of ice-cream and rewatch OLLA. “Nope. None at all. And thank you. I would love to have dinner with you.”

“Then I should probably take your phone number.” As I dumbly passed over my phone, he continued. “I will pick you up around seven?”

I really needed to find a bathroom to scream hysterically in.


I was awoken from my sleep at 12:05 PM by my phone’s insistent chirping. I groped for it groggily, still half-asleep. There were incoming notifications from Twitter. A lot of them. Confused, I opened the app.

I sat up in bed, unable to make sense of 59 followers in the five minutes this day had lasted. Then it clicked. Tom. He was following me. Tom was following me. Oh fuck. Oh wow.

I opened his profile, knowing he must be online. And found the culprit.

Oh, fuck me! That little shit, he really did find my Twitter. Turning the notifications off, I lay down in bed, grinning.

Until I realised my Tumblr was connected to my Twitter. My fanfics… Hurrying to get my laptop, I began to look for a way to purge my account of any more than the normal amount of drooling people do over amazing actors. I stared at my account, paralyzed with the weight of the problem. I sighed. It was going to be a long night.


I found this gif, where someone else is being almost as lucky as Faith in this fic.

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Keep reading

Calum Hood Imagine

Requested: Indeed

Warnings: nothing that I can really think of. Mentions social anxiety briefly and is in no way meant to trivialize something that so many people, including myself, have suffered with or are still suffering with, basically I hit writers block and had to kinda write about what I would do in that situation just to get through that part.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I Never Said Hate

Thinking back to about a year ago, memories of meeting 5sos flooded your mind. They had played a show in your city that night that was absolutely amazing and then afterwards they coincidentally ended up at the same restaurant that you and your friends were supposed to meet at. Unfortunately your friends had bailed on you again, managing to get in to the new club down the street and apparently having too much fun to care about you sitting alone in a Mexican restaurant slowly sipping your glass of water and looking completely awkward. Your waiter had been around several times, refilling your water and asking if you were ready to order. Of course you hadn’t wanted to eat alone, but your social anxiety had gotten the best of you and before you knew it you were slowly devouring an entire plate of enchiladas, still alone. As you were eating, you noticed the atmosphere of the restaurant became thick with whispers causing you to momentarily glance up from your plate to see a group of guys walk in to the restaurant. You immediately recognized the 4 Aussie boys and normally would have been all over them, but at this point the last thing you wanted was hot guys seeing you do some serious damage to a plate of enchiladas meant for 3. You quickly brought your eyes back down not wanting to make eye contact as they took the table next to yours. You pushed the left overs around the plate trying to devise a plan to escape the restaurant with out too much damage. Suddenly you heard man’s voice from in front of you.

“Um, excuse me miss?” Said a tall blonde boy, you knew him as Luke.

“Are you using this chair?” He said nodding at the chair across from you. You immediately felt your cheeks flush and tried to calm yourself down.

“Oh… umno…you cantakeit"you mumbled. You went to motion for him to take the chair, but felt the sleeve of your sweater catch on your straw and before you knew it, there went your newly refilled glass of water, all over you and all over the chair he was going to take.

"Oh shit. I can’t…dammit …” you trailed off trying to use your cloth napkin to soak up the freezing ice water. Luke quickly grabbed his own napkin from their table and tried to help, while  the other boys sprang in to action, Ashton running to grab paper towel from the bathroom and Michael going to find someone to get the mop. You could’t help, but feel a little relieved that they were so helpful towards some clumsy girl sitting next to them in a restaurant. You glanced up trying to look for another napkin so that you could get to work on drying yourself off. You noticed Calum laughing at you as he looked you up and down, taking in your current state in all of it’s soaked glory. You knew you looked a little flustered at the moment, but was the laughing necessary. ‘Why was he acting like such a dick?’ you thought to yourself as you felt your self-confidence plummet, watching your previous fave crack up over your embarrassment. After you and the boys, minus Calum who seemed to think that he was too good to help other than tossing you his napkin to clean yourself up with, had resolved the whole water incident, you went through the introductions. 

“I’m (Y/N)… Thanks for helping me clean this up. And sorry about the chair,” you said thinking about the now drenched upholstery of the chair that had started it all.

“Hey it’s fine,” Luke said with a smile that made your stomach flip. “I’m Luke by the way. And this is Ashton and Michael. And over there, being extremely anti-social, is Calum.” You looked over at the bass player, his entire aura was one of cockiness and you could’t help, but be a little turned on by it, although you were still extremely offended about earlier. They offered to let you sit with them, probably feeling a little secondhand embarrassment for you, but you declined, wanting nothing more than to escape the entire situation and change out of your freezing cold attire. Saying your goodbye’s you left the restaurant as quickly as possible, apologizing to your waiter once again on the way out and handing him his tip and a little extra seeing as you had just eliminated one of the tables in his section in a matter of seconds. You were standing on the sidewalk in the freezing cold air, trying to regain your composure and remember where you parked, you felt a hand on your shoulder. Your heart jumped against your rib cage, you had read enough 5sos imagines on tumblr to know where this was going. You turned around ready to see a sad puppy-eyed Calum, wanting to apologize for his previous actions, but there, in front of you, was your waiter. Your stomach drop and your throat clenched slightly, feeling extremely foolish.

“Ma'am, I can’t take your extra money. You did’t do anything wrong.” He said smiling at you.He handed you the money before you could protest, giving you a sympathetic smile. He turned to walk away, but stopped, “Oh, and this is from the sexy Australian boy inside.” He handed you a slip of paper with a wink. 

“Oh, thank you… I think. And again, I really am sorry about your table.” You said with a giggle, finally relaxing. The waiter gave your shoulder a pat before heading back inside. You opened up the piece of paper and read:

“Sorry for the whole water mess. Maybe we can get a coffee sometime?   - Luke”

Scribbled across the bottom was a phone number. You grinned like an idiot suddenly not minding the cold wind stinging you through your wet clothes. Needless to say, you took him up on that coffee date, and many more. You became extremely close with band and whenever they came around you would go out with them. And each time Calum seemed to be even more of a jerk than before. Always giving sly comments about you and laughing at your mistakes. You couldn’t figure out why exactly he was such a jerk to you, but you were willing to put it aside considering how close you and Luke were, and how caring the other guys were. 

Fast forward and now here you were, sitting alone in your living room with Calum. The other boys had all managed to find excuses to leave the room as soon as Calum entered.They didn’t want to hurt your feelings, but you knew exactly why. Whenever you and Calum were in a room together it was like the next world war. Your anger would bubble up inside with each one of his digs. Every one of them seemed to hit a little deeper as he slowly tore away at you. Finally you would reach your limit and end up yelling at him and leaving the room in a huff, saying something along the lines of how much of a jerk he was and that if he wasn’t such good friends with the other boys you would have kicked him out already. But this time was different. He came in the room and just looked at you. You tried to focus on the book you were reading, but you could feel his stare on you.

“What do you want?!” You spat at him. “Do you need my full and undivided attention so you can make fun of my decorating, or no, my outfit choice today. Or maybe you would like to go with the ever so lovely hit at my personality?!” He stayed silent, breaking eye contact. You rolled your eyes and got up to leave, knowing that if you stayed any longer he would end up making you feel even worse than you already did. As you passed by him, you felt a warm hand grasp your wrist. You instinctively swat him away and turned to glare daggers at him. 

“What??! You know you can make your own sandwiches right??” You said knowing what usually followed these situations.

“No… I mean yes I know, but no. I wanted to say I am sorry for everything…” he trailed off. You paused, taking in what he was saying and suddenly feeling extremely pissed.

“You’re sorry? YOU’RE SORRY?!?! All the crap you put me through and the shit you say to me and all you have to say for yourself is 'Sorry’?! I have known you for more than a year and not one, ONCE, have you ever said something nice for me, or held the door for me, or even genuinely smiled at me! You even manage to scare away every guy that I have talked to in this period of time I have know you, because you are just so intent on making me feel like shit about myself, and all I get is a SORRY?!?! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SORRY FOR?! YOU’RE NOT EVEN SORRY ARE YOU?!?!” You were now screaming at the top of your lungs, he flinched with each sentence as if every word was a punch. Suddenly he stood up towering above you. His eyes were flushed with anger and something else that you couldn’t quite perceive.

“Yes I am sorry! I am sorry because I judged you too quickly at the restaurant! I am sorry for not once treating you with the respect that every person deserves. I am sorry for saying things about you that weren’t even remotely true because I knew they would piss you off! I am sorry the tears I have made you cry and the hurt I have made you feel! I am sorry for not showing how much I cared!” He was screaming back, tears forming in his eyes. You did’t know what to say, you were angry, but you couldn’t think of anything to retaliate with. He had never apologized before and it stunned you.

“I am sorry (Y/N). I am sorry for being toxic to you. But you know what I am not sorry for?” 'Oh here it comes’ you thought to yourself. “I am not sorry for loving you. I am not sorry for scaring away the douche bag guys that tried to hook up with you. I am sorry though. For not expressing myself properly or treating you even half decent and I completely understand if you’re pissed at me, but I just wanted to tell you. I know an apology can never negate the pain I caused you, but I hope it can at least be a start.” he trailed off. You felt uncomfortable inside, like you had been betrayed, but you also felt strangely protected. You reached up wiping a tear from his cheek.

“Why did you treat me like shit if you loved me?You don’t treat the ones you love, like shit. I loved you from the very start and it was sick and twisted because I would make excuses for you. Try to reason that it was ok what you were doing, but it wasn’t. And yet I still did it. I put up with al-” Suddenly his lips were pressed against yours. Attacking them with passion and hunger, and yet so gentle and loving. You let yourself slip in to the power he always had over you, moving your lips in sync with his, deepening the kiss and bringing your hands up to his hair. All the thoughts running through your head told you it as wrong. This was toxic and dangerous. You pulled away. Staring in to his warm brown eyes, you saw the old image you had of him slip away. His lips swollen from the kiss and cheeks flushed from excitement.

“This can’t happen like it does in the books, Calum.” you stated, his face dropped. “You can’t just kiss me and expect it to be ok. You have to prove to me that you mean what you say. You have to build back the trust that you lost. You have to show me that it’s worth putting my heart on the line for someone who less than ten minutes ago I thought took pleasure from making me feel worthless. You have to show me that you want to give me butterflies and that you will protect me from the world. Show me that you care.”

He smiled at you, wrapping his arms around your waist. The movement felt so right and you couldn’t help cuddling closer in to his warmth. The scent of his cologne and shampoo filled your nose and made you feel safe, and you stored away the sensory details in your brain, subconsciously placing them with all the other things that made you feel happy.

“I will show you every day how much I care. I will show you that your happiness means more to me than my own. I will wake you up with kisses and cuddle with you until our bodies are numb. I will walk to the ends of the Earth to protect you from anything that could hurt you, to protect you from what I did before. (Y/N) I will show you that you can trust me.” his voice was sincere and you heard the urgency in his tone. You finally relaxed your body, and smiled at him for the first time since you met. And he smiled back, a genuine smile. One that brought butterflies to your tummy and a blush to your cheeks.You kissed, but this time you felt it for what it was. A spark, a beginning. He lifted you in to his arms supporting your body with one hand, the other running through your hair. His lips pressed against yours as if the second they lost contact you would no longer exist. You felt safe as his hands explored your body, after safely placing you on the ground again. Every movement sent fire through your entire body and you wanted nothing more than him. 

It took him a while, but eventually he gained your trust back. He protected you from even the smallest of things, like the spiders in your house that you were too afraid to kill yourself. He woke you up with kisses and would cuddle with you until you no longer had feeling in your legs, but you didn’t care. No amount of pins and needles could drag you away from the boy next to you. The boy with goofy smile and the heart of gold. Your protector from scary movies and scary bugs, the one who would sing away your sadness, the boy who said he would show you he loved you, the boy who did.

REQUESTS???????

COSBY, HULK, FLEX AND THE GREATEST LIE EVER TOLD…

Your childhood is a lie.

I want to get that out of the way before we go any further so we’re clear that I’m not going to sugar coat shit. Bill Cosby is likely an arrogant, philandering, rapist who administered pills to vulnerable women. Hulk Hogan is an admitted racist who prefers his niggers to be tall and rich, brother. And Meek Mill isn’t the Drake fan we all thought he was. Pop culture seems to be building to an inevitable boiling point. And while – Lord knows – I didn’t want to add to the seemingly endless think pieces, I couldn’t not say something… 

Let’s begin with a series of questions. If you come across a wad of $100 bills - $10,000 in total – laying in the gutter, would you pick it up? Assuming that answer is hell fucking yes, would you begin an exhaustive search to find its original owner? If your answer is yes, then good for you. You’re probably lying, but whatever. If you’re keeping the money, let’s talk about what you’re going to do with your come up. Pay some bills, please. Put at least 1/3 of the money to work for you. And of course, treat yourself. Buy something that you wouldn’t be able to otherwise. That’s important. But if while balling out at the Leica store or Louboutin, you discover that the money originally belonged to a rapist, or a racist or someone whose creative process differs from yours, do you put that new camera down and light the remaining hundreds up in flames? Or do you keep your new camera and create something in line with a vision you do support? 

Learn to separate the artist from the art because the messenger is not the message.

I’m an 80’s baby. I watched The Cosby Show religiously, learning a little more about my culture and myself in each episode. It widened what I believed to be possible. I was a Cosby Kid.

When the allegations against the Cos first broke (the second time), I was all, “man they’re trying to smear my guy.” As the number of women grew, I tuned it out. I didn’t want to deal with what it might mean for my childhood if this was really happening. Then Beverly Johnson penned her essay and I cried. How could he do that to Bev, equally as important to my identity as a black child in this country? Then I hated him. I wanted nothing to do with him. I was all fuck Bill Cosby, his sweaters, pudding pops and everybody who loves him. Until I was on a red-eye and I caught the episode of A Different World where Freddie discovered a part of the Underground Railroad in the Hillman laundry room. Although I’d been taught about Harriet Tubman and our origins in this country, that episode was the first time the Underground Railroad felt tangible to me. I was 9 years old and Bill Cosby, Executive Producer and co-creator of the series helped do that. I cried again. I had been lied to.

The lie we were told was that Bill Cosby mattered as much as, if not more, than what Bill Cosby created. The purpose of art is that it might reach you, connect with you and inspire you. If the art makes you feel any different about the artist, it is a bonus but not a requirement.

But lets keep it all the way funky. Separating the art from the artist will now and forever be a difficult thing to do. This is coming from someone who’s deleted entire catalogs off my iTunes because of personal beefs. But the more comfortable I became with myself, so came the separation. ‘Know Yourself. ’As I accepted my own level of ‘ain’t shit-ness’, I realized that my connection and interpretation of art said more about me than the person that created it. That episode of A Different World is mine. The Cosby Show is mine. And no one, not even Bill ‘here take this’ Cosby has the right to snatch that back from me. 

Once an artist puts something out into the world, it belongs to the people. And what the people do with it, how we allow it to inspire us, is now out of the creators control. Of course there are the curators, there to preserve the original piece. But the freedom to interpret that art and incorporate it into our own, is ours.

So, speaking of curators, let’s talk about Drake.

Friday night I argued with a Hip Hop legend over where to place Drake within the landscape of rap history. I am a huge Drake fan. I don’t hide that. I’ve connected to his music since Comeback Season and the current speculation about possible ghostwriters or collaborators doesn’t change that. He’s an important artist and one of the best. Still. My friend felt differently. “That’s just not how it’s done,” was at the crux of his informed and popular opinion. “There are certain rules to the genre and culture of rap music,” he said. “And now I look at son (Drake) differently.”

You know what? Good. Existing standards matter in that they give everyone a clear starting point. But existing standards should not be everyone’s end goal.

If we all only followed the rules of what something is ‘supposed to be,’ it’d be impossible for you to read this right now because Tumblr wouldn’t exist because the internet wouldn’t exist because computers wouldn’t exist because the engineering capabilities wouldn’t exist because education wouldn’t exist…Let’s cut to a cave man knocking a sharp rock out of a cave kid’s hand because writing on the cave walls just “isn’t what we do.”

“We need a board,” Jay Z famously said. Years later he declared, “there are no rules.” Life, and the art it inspires, will (and should) continue to evolve because without that evolution we are nothing. My rap legend friend then asked, “what if you don’t like the direction we’re evolving?” My answer was, “what if you do?”

If you’d told me in 2001 that one day my phone would replace my computer, my camera, my palm pilot and my watch, I would’ve told you I didn’t want that. I liked each one of those things. I respected all of them and wanted to keep them. But these days, I love my iPhone. Its existence has simplified my life. Thank God someone challenged how we look at cellphones. Our greatest innovations have all come from someone saying, “No, that’s how you do it. But I’m going to do it this way.”

This is where the cultural purists are getting ready to cock back and come for me. You’ll be alright. But know that I am writing in the spirit of what’s good for the culture that birthed me. I share Steve Job’s belief that pushing back pushes us forward. What our pioneers did was important but even they don’t get to confine what we do next. And it’s important that we empower ourselves to stand up and say, “this is how I am going to do it.” That’s the only way we survive.

Someone told me last night, “This generation is weird. They root for the drug addict, instead of the drug dealer,” as if we should’ve ever been rooting for the person poisoning the public in the first place. Again, whatever. But here’s why that is, technology transferred power back to the people. You know why Drake has the public’s benefit of the doubt? Yes, hits. But also, we watched Drake build his movement from the ground up. From MySpace to Young Money to the top of the charts, that’s inspiring. And inspiration is more addictive than someone just trying to get you hooked on what they’re selling. But this isn’t actually about Drake. It’s not even about Meek. It’s more about Flex and his insistence of keeping a tight hold on something that belongs to all of us. It has to be about the music.  And if the music’s found, connected and inspired you, isn’t that what matters? Are you any less happy to hear the song because it’s creative process went against pre-existing rules? Or are we more focused on the artist and the egos of the curators than the art itself? In 2015, there are many old guards still blocking the gates to pastures that have no fences.

Should there be no atonement for personal sins? Of course not. Pay for what you did. Whatever that is. I’m not giving back what came from it because I, the fan, didn’t do shit.

Let’s go back to the original lie, that the artist is as important as the art. Fuck that. The communal spirit between art and childhood is the belief that we can do anything. @DulceRuby tweeted, “Remember who you were before they told you who to be.” You can still do anything. I can keep The Cosby Show; and you can fondly remember old wrestling matches, and Drake can keep making hits because it’s not about them. It’s about what they create and how we use it to inspire us to create something that pushes us forward.

@JasFly