this was so pretty in mah head

I was tagged by @shockerrbreakerr
Thanks bud!!

Nickname? Tea, T-Rex, Teapot, TikiTorch, Sassy, and various names of other family members (or, ya know, Taylor)
-Zodiac sign? Sagittarius
-Height? 5'6"

-Last thing you googled? Why do cats carry stuff around and meow =^..^=

-Favorite music artist? The Score, Imagine Dragons, PATD

-Song stuck in your head? Revolution by The Score (it’s mah fave right now)
-Last movie you watched? Lino and the Two Strings (SO pretty, and I cried a bit)

-What are you wearing right now? Jeans, tank top, fuzzy cardigan (because, work)

-Why did you choose your URL: Dipper Pines said good words, is my life.

-Do you have any other blogs? Yes- all are just basically for my reference on art tutorials, writing tips, recipes/inspiration, and life refs. This is the only trash blog I run tbh

-What did your last relationship teach you? That I’m not only ace, I’m HELLA aro, and that I express affection by giving people my time.

-Religious or spiritual? Unsure of anything at the moment :/

-Favorite color? Blue… or like that green that leaves turn when the suns shines through them

-Average hours of sleep? 7? 8? But like I’m constantly looking forward to going back to bed lol

-Lucky number? 2, 7, 14

-Favorite character? Uhhhh… at the moment? I’d say Rumarin from the Interesting NPCs mod for Skyrim. He’s a big dorky elf goober. -How many blankets do you sleep with: Two, but since it’s getting hot probably won’t be able to stand them any more 😩

-Dream job: No idea, whatever pays the bills, isn’t too soul-sucking, and allows enough time for me to sleep and a slacker XD

I’ll tag @k8katart, @ouroborosasunder, and @forever-scoutingforfood
If you guys want to, of course!!

Today, I fucked up... by feeling better after calling in sick

So I woke up around 6am feeling hungover as fuck, with a side order of dizziness. This is strange because I hadn’t drank in months and I drink enough water everyday to hydrate California for a decade. It certainly was not dehydration. So I get out of bed for my epic morning piss and I get that feeling that my stomach contents are working their way back up to the entrance. So, I hug the toilet for a few minutes before completely and violently emptying my tummy tum. All the senses were maxed out on the VomBomb that was erupting out of my face-hole. Sight: Vomit. Smell: Vomit. Taste: Vomit. Feels: Vomit? Whatever was happening in my guttywuts, it just wanted out. Should I call my mom? 8 pound, 6 ounce newborn infant Jesus, save me.

This is when I decided that I’m NOT going to work today. Fuck that. I call up one of my managers, the one that I report to directly. I told him that if I was feeling better I would come in. I really hate taking sick days, because there is nobody to fill in for me if I’m gone, and I’m pretty busy every day. So as such, I haven’t taken a sick day in a very long time. He wishes me well and tells me to feel better. Thanks bruh, you mah dawg. So I chill out at the toilet for a few more minutes and then head back to bed.

I wake up a few hours later and feel slightly better. I can stand, my face isn’t green, and my stomach isn’t trying to forcibly exit my body. Good! So I eat a single piece of bread and drink some water and wait… Nothing came back up. Sweet! Back to bed! 2 hours later, I wake up again, this time feeling like a new man. A million bucks. Strong enough to beat the world. It’s around 11:30am and I figure it’s time to go to work. But first, let’s get some real food into me. I’ll go snag some grub, bring it back home, let it settle in my tumtum so I know I’m good to go, then head in to work. Perfect.

So I’m trying to decide what to eat and then BAM! There’s this amaaaaazing chip truck on the other side of town that I haven’t had in years… I’m well overdue for a visit. Best poutine in the city. Fuck yes. It’s go time. So I make my way down there and I drool all over my beard, shirt, pants, steering wheel, etc and I’m stoked for this. I order a bacon poutine. Fuck yes. I’m shooting the shit with the folks inside because they are the nicest people ever, and the girl gives me my receipt and says “You’ll be order number 80.” Perfect, I’ll start sipping my Dr. Pepper and wait. On my way to the end of the queue I hear “Order number 80, huh?” In a very familiar voice…

It’s my fucking general manager. The underboss. The only guy above him is the owner of the company. And he’s looking at me with a big shit eating grin on face as if to say “Busted.” I realize how this looks, and my heart sinks in my chest. He asks “What are you doing here?” and I explain my situation and he just shakes his head with that smirk on his face. He doesn’t believe me. He tells me that he was at the hardware store across the street and he saw me all the way from the parking lot. That’s not that hard to believe, I’m 6'3" with a big beard and tattoos and a love for all things snapback. You can spot me in a crowd. Then we part ways and about 20 minutes later I start getting a bunch of texts from coworkers saying “Order #80? BUSSSTED” and “hahahahaha playing hooky huh?”

The poutine settled well, but I was far too embarrassed to go straight back to work. I eventually did, and did an entire shift on my own. To this day, people still don’t believe I was actually sick.

by vroflraptor

Check out more TIFUs: Internet`s best fuck ups are here.

3

I did it! My closest shave yet (1/8"). I’m feeling a little insecure and a lot badass. The shave goes all round my head btw, only the top is long. I had to prop a mirror up to reflect the bathroom mirror in order to see the back of my head to get it right since normally I blind shave the back on half an inch and it looks fine. But yeah, I’m really happy with it. Excited for when I don’t need the long part of my hair for a cosplay so I can shave my whole head but I’m content with this look for now.