this was so much sadder in my head

Turn About is Fair Play

“Jared stop!” I cry out, pleading with him. “I can’t laugh anymore!  Please!” I catch my breath and take a sip from my water bottle.

Jared turns to Shannon and continues talking in this ridiculous voice. “She thinks I’m gonna stop because she said please.” He looks at me, then back to his brother. “She doesn’t know me at all.” The uncontrollable laughter returns and I choke on my water, spitting it across the bar in their direction causing Shannon to bust out laughing. I cover my mouth with my hands and continue laughing, trying to apologize, but when Jared refuses to stop I pick up the sprayer from the faucet and point it in his direction.

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On OBSABH chapter 2- the angsty bits

Viktor, sweetheart, what have you done?  (AKA the drawbacks of being an optimist)- part 2

(Part 1 has the happy bits and part 3 has the rest of the angst)

So after my post about the happy, positive, optimistic bits of Viktor in chapter 2 of OBSABH I said I might try to post about the sadder bits.  The angsty bits, if you will.  The bits where you read it and wish Viktor had listened to the voice of reason inside his head and done something different, instead of listening to… other, less rational parts of his anatomy.  So here goes! (Turns out I do indeed ramble too much so this is going to be in 2 parts.)

I’m going to do bullet points because that might make me be more concise (hopefully)

After the Olympics

  • Viktor has the very sensible thought that ‘After getting yelled at for several minutes straight, regardless of whether he could understand the words or not, Viktor was pretty sure that the worst of Yuuri’s animosity towards him probably hadn’t died down like he had begun to think’.  Hold that thought, Viktor.  It’s correct.  Ignore it at your peril.
  • Yuuri was drunk and not in any state to be answering questions so Viktor resigned himself to living in confusion for a little while longer’.  Or to put it another way:  Viktor condemned himself to living in confusion, and also pain, for a few more years. Maybe Viktor should have just asked Yuuri why he hates him so much.  Once Yuuri had got back to speaking English, he may well actually have got some sort of a useful answer out of him.  He knows that Yuuri’s negative feelings towards him had been on his mind, because of the drunken Japanese yelling, so that could imply that Yuuri wants to talk about it.  But at the same time, would that have been a bit immoral?  I mean, Yuuri was drunk, so would asking him be taking advantage of his lowered inhibitions?

Cut here… it’s getting so long already

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Depression (MGG)

Request: 

Ok. Well the reader (you can name her or whatever) has depression issues and one day feels really down and suicidal calls Matthew while he’s filming and he doesn’t answer. They are just friends and he doesn’t know about the depression. Anyways when he doesn’t answer she desides to try and kill herself. She leaves him a voicemail saying she loves him and she’s gonna hurt herself  But he saves her just in time.

Warnings: depression, mentions of suicide (Not edited) 

A/N: If you ever feel depressed or are having suicidal thoughts I highly recommend confiding in someone and have someone help. I am also here to talk if you need it. 

your pov:

The walls were closing in around me. The sick feeling in my stomach became more prominent and deep. My heart was beating hard making it course throughout my body. I felt there was no way out. No way on how to ever deal with the deep pain. The chemically imbalance in my brain was getting too much. Making me feel like if I were gone, it’d be better. If i weren’t here to suffer anymore then it’d be better. As I sat at home I felt my heart breaking bit by bit making me sadder and sadder. Feeling the loneliness and the worthlessness my mind as possessed as normal. 

The hot tears rolled down my burning red face, “I-I know you’re filming today but um everything has gotten a bit too much. I don’t really know what to do anymore. I just feel like if I were gone it’d be better. I love you so much. I didn’t ever tell you before but I just uh I need to go I hope you can someday forgive me. I love you.” My body felt numb. I felt weak. My head pounded feeling the effects of the hard crying. I walked into the bathroom and looked at myself splashing the water on my face trying to debate about whether it was a good idea to do this or not. I opened the bottle of medicine downing all of them. I waited for the effects to take over my body laying on my bed. I continued to cry until I felt the high of all the drugs. I closed my eyes and drifted into the heavy sleep. 

his pov:

My body tensed up and my mind was clouded with confusion. Was she drunk? I didn’t understand her upset state of mind. She always had been so happy and never sad. I decided it’d be best if I had gone and checked on her. She wasn’t answering her phone and I’d be lying to say I wasn’t worried about her. The message pulled strings of my heart. To hear her crying made me upset. I drove as fast as I could to her apartment trying to make sense of what she was talking about. Could she be depressed? Why didn’t she tell me? I thought we were best friends? All the thoughts swirled in my mind. I loved her too but how was I supposed to tell her that now? 

I parked and quickly got out of the car not even caring if my car was locked or not. My heart pounded into my chest as I rode impatiently up the elevator. As I approached her apartment I felt something wrong. My stomach twisted. I pulled out the key she once gave me in case I ever needed a place to crash. She was so caring and thoughtful like that. I brought my shaky hands up the the key hole and unlocked the door. I slowly entered and walked into the eerie dark hallway. “Y/N? Are you here? I got your voicemail. I want to talk.” I said looking around her tidy apartment, switching on a light. I walked closer to her bedroom seeing her body laid on the bed. “Y/N? Wake up.” I said walking to her side, placing my hands on her shoulder. “Y/N come on this isn’t funny wake up.” I said louder shaking her shoulder. “No, no, no, no Y/N please wake up.” I said, my voice cracking. “Where’s my phone” I said sniffing searching my pockets and body. Fuck it. I went and I grabbed her apartment landline. “911 operator what’s the nature of your emergency?” The operator asked. “My girlfriend, my friend she’s trying to kill herself. She she isn’t moving or waking up please just hurry.” I said starting to cry. “Okay sir where is your address.” I wiped my nose on the back of my hand. “1201 Arrow Lane the Arrow Apartments. I’ll wait outside with her please hurry.” “Okay sir and what’s your name?” I groaned. “Why do you keep asking me questions just fucking get here her life is leaving her body and I will never fucking get to tell her that I love her so please just get here.” I said hanging up the phone, going back to her lifeless body. I lifted her body in my arms letting my tears free fall. I tucked her head into my neck patting her hair. “I’m so sorry Y/N. I should’ve know. Baby I’m so sorry.” I said through my sobs. I didn’t care about any of the stares people were giving me. I heard the faint sounds of the ambulance. “Are you the one who called about the suicide attempt?” I nodded my head letting them bring out the gurney placing her softly on the stretcher. The checked for a pulse in her neck telling me there is still a faint beat. I was hopeful. 

your pov:

My body felt heavy and numb. I tried to open my eyes but something weighed them down. I heard the faint beeping of the heart monitor. “Look who’s up.” The doctor said as I opened my eyes slightly. I coughed and squinted my eyes. “Can you turn the lights off my head is killing me.” He laughed softly. “I will when I leave. How are you feeling?” He asked me flashing a flashlight in my eyes. “I feel like I’ve been hit my a truck.” I said weakly. I tried to set myself up when I winced at the pain of my head. “Easy there. You are going to need to rest. I’ll go get your boyfriend.” He said walking towards the door. “Boyfriend?” I questioned him. “Yeah? The tall man with brown hair?” I blushed at the embarrassing message that I left him. “Oh, he’s not my boyfriend.” He nodded and walked out of the room shutting off the light. I laid back in bed and closed my eyes. “Are you okay?” I heard a timid voice from the door say. I opened my eyes and looked to see Matthew. I bit my lip and flushed in embarrassment. “Uh I guess?” I pondered. He sniffed and tucked his hair behind his ears walking slowly to my side. “Why didn’t you tell me Y/N?” He whispered. “Matthew you couldn’t have helped me. “No but I could’ve gotten you help.” He said sniffling. “Come on Matthew place don’t cry.” I said offering my hand out to him. He say down in the chair beside the bed and held my hand to his cheek. “I didn’t think I’d ever get to tell you.” He said letting the stray tears fall. I furrowed my eyebrows and tilted my head. “What do you mean?” I asked confused. He stared at my broken face making me feel vulnerable and shy. I turned away from his gaze, looking down at my lap. I felt his hands wrap around mine moving them to his lips letting them linger over the back of my hand. “I love you too.” My head turned to him shocked. “I love you. And I don’t care if you are mentally ill I’ll help you Y/N. I love you and I want to be with you. Just please let me get you help. I’ll work on it with you too.” He said pleading, holding my hand to his chest. I slowly nodded my head and let the few tears go myself. “Okay.” 

anyways whenever I see Content that assumes annamis Did Things more than just that one time in that nunnery i find myself incapable of fathoming it???

not bc I don’t want to but bc somehow in my head I cannot help but see them as so ironically and paradoxically goody two shoes???? probably bc their goody two shoes-ness makes the Dramatic Tragedy that much sadder and the Smouldering Gazes that much funnier, if only bc when tragedy strikes ur like THEY DIDNT EVEN DO THAT MUCH and when they give those ridiculous intense looks across rooms ur like yeah,,,,,, somehow they think that that’s really going the long mile,,,,,, someone help them,,,,

Joker Imagine - Line of life and death

Originally posted by harleyquinn-lovesherpuddin

Originally posted by sayitallsayitnow

Joker’s P.O.V.

I couldn’t believe what had happened because it just came so fast.

Y/N and I were walking a little in Gotham city because there had been a fight at the club and she wanted me to relax. For the girl she was she had a lot of guts. Yes even tho Y/N was my girlfriend, she seemed nervous sometimes. Anyway she practically dragged me out so we could walk. It sure helped. But then everything came crashing down.

We had crossed a road and she had dropped something. I felt how Y/N had let go of my hand as the lights turned green for cars. I tried to yell at her to stop, but she walked straight in front of a car, blinded by the night. Her body hit the red car forcefully and then flew many feet ahead of it, hitting the pavement harshly. The car stopped and I couldn’t even see the guy or girl because I ran to Y/N.

Her legs and arms were bleeding because the short dress didn’t offer any protection. Her body had gone numb and she could barely breathe. I was too scared to pick her up in case she had broken her spine. Fear took over me for the first time in years. ‘’Baby..’’ I breathed out and touched her cheek, having to see if she had any kind of a reaction. ‘’It..hurts..’’ She whimpered out weakly and looked at me. I bet she hadn’t seen the wounds and it should stay so.

The car driver knew who we were, yet he called an ambulance and shut the road with his own things. I grabbed Y/N’s small hand and then got down on the cold pavement. ‘’Keep your eyes on me, okay?’’ I asked her and fought against my own tears. I found out by one glance that her spine wasn’t broken, but her left leg was twisted unnaturally. ‘’J..’’ Y/N gasped and her hand started trembling while she held mine.

‘’It’s okay..You’ll be fine..Do you hear me? You’ll be fine doll’’ I reassured her, but I wasn’t believing myself. If she had an inner bleeding, she could die within an hour. Even the thought made my gut uneasy and I didn’t want to accept it. ‘’An ambulance is on the way’’ A random lady told us from the car. I didn’t even look at them, because I was focused on keeping my girlfriend alive. I didn’t care that it would be an ambulance. I’d force them to help her and give her the needed treatment or I’d shoot the doctors. Then I’d take her back home before they could send her to Arkham.

Tears gushed out of her pretty eyes and she found it hard not to look. ‘’Don’t dare to do that babe, it’ll make it worse. Just keep your eyes on me’’ I reminded her with a voice that cracked once. I was terrified to lose her, the only person I cared about outside work. ‘’I ..I want to sleep’’ She whispered weakly. ‘’No! Don’t..Y/N you can do it!’’ I got panicked. She couldn’t die now! Not like this, not so young..

‘’You’re a fighter baby..Do you hear me? You’re strong. You can get through this’’ I started to lose myself. My vision got blurry because tears were stinging my eyes. I bet the last time I cried was when I was a teenager. And hell it felt bad to nearly cry. ‘’Puddin..’’ Y/N said softly, but it was obvious she was in pain. ‘’I love you’’ She sobbed and nearly shut her eyes. Those three words were rarely shared between us even tho our love was obvious. Yes we were crazy and homicidal criminals, but we loved each other.

‘’I love you too’’ I let her know and then a weak tear rolled down my face, followed by more. Oh I’d kill whoever drove that car no matter what, but not right now. Suddenly Y/N shut her eyes, making my muscles tense. ‘’No..no no! No don’t! Open them!’’ I yelled at her, not allowing her to just die. I cupped her face and leaned closer. ‘’Baby! Don’t leave me’’ I pleaded and started to shake. Was this real? ‘’Don’t you dare to leave me..’’ I whispered and swallowed my tears.

Her eyes opened a little, but she seemed weaker. An ambulance was coming, but we were holding traffic back so it would take longer. ‘’Sing something’’ She told me quietly, but cracked a tiny smile in all that pain. I was so panicked, so scared and sad that I couldn’t think of a song at first. The only song that popped into my mind was stupid, but I had no other choice. I only knew the song because she had listened to it so much. I couldn’t even sing well, but it was okay for her.

‘’What would I do without your smart mouth? Drawing me in and then kicking me out. You got my head spinning..’’ I started quietly, so only she could hear. She opened her eyes a little more and forced herself to stay awake.

‘’..no kidding, I can’t pin you down’’ I mouthed the words of the song and it only made me sadder. The words seemed to fit us. Y/N looked at me closely as I tried to remember the words in this state of shock.

‘’’You’re crazy and I’m out of my mind..’’ 

‘’ ‘Cause all of me loves all of you, love your curves and all your edges, love all your imperfections..’’ I kept going. The ambulance was closer and good for us the hospital was only a block away from here. It stopped a few feet away from us and the ambulance men got out, walking closer to us nervously. The other one of them kneeled next to Y/N and started doing his job. I was too shocked to focus on his words. I just kept my gaze on my princess who was on the line of life and death.

I couldn’t let her die..

I am a maladaptive daydreamer. 

I self-diagnosed myself about 2 years ago, when I was 14, but after having what I believe to have been a mental breakdown, only now am I sharing my story. And it is super long, I know it may not be read, but knowing it’s out there will make me feel better. 

Ever since I could remember, I’ve been infatuated with the idea of love. I’ve been daydreaming about it since I was a child. I know most people don’t think you can have crushes on people when you are so young, but I did. I was 4, and he was a boy in my class. I remember daydreaming that he and I accidentally got superglue on out lips and then walked into each other and had our lips stuck together for the whole day, and when we got unstuck he fell in love with me and yadayadayada.

And fantasizing about boys has not nearly stopped. In fact, it consumes most of my life. Everybody has their celebrity crushes, and many fantasize about being with them, but I have always gotten a bit too involved. 

I’ve always had a terrible body image. I hate the way I look, and so I imagine a world where I am beautiful. Beautiful enough for a handsome boy to fall in love with me. But not only am I beautiful, I am impossibly talented. I can sing, dance, act, draw, and play 5 instruments. I even imagine having superpowers. Everybody loves me in this made-up life. I have everything I could ever want, and more. 

Because in the real world I have nothing. I’m miserable. I hate myself, I hate life, and the only way I have ever coped is by imagining it all away. By daydreaming up a perfect life, where I am happy. And the sadder, and lonelier I got the more I found myself escaping to this other life. It was easier to live in this world, and so I would spend as much time daydreaming as I possibly could. 

I began isolating myself from others, cancelling plans, putting off work, never leaving my room just so I could sit there and daydream. This world in my head has become so elaborate and detailed that I’ve become extremely attached to it and especially the people in it.

Essentially,  I imagine my life the way it is now, and then the series of events that lead me to becoming beautiful, talented, rich, famous and powerful. 

My plot line basically goes as followed:  I finally confront my awful ‘best friend’ about how horrible she is too me, but she then tells me how I’m worthless and that she is all I have. I run off to the city where I sit to gather my thoughts, there I meet a guy who asks if I want to talk. I explain everything to him, and he tells me about his life. His parents are rich, and since their divorce, his mother has been bored. He tells me that his mother would be willing to give me a makeover since she loves makeover shows and again, is bored. I go and meet this woman, who then begins throwing her money at me, buying be new clothes and makeup, offering me dental surgery to fix my teeth and she helps me lose weight and she basically makes my beautiful. My new found beauty leads me to modeling, where I first strike fame. I also begin taking voice and dance lessons where I find I have a natural talent very quickly. Then a whole bunch of intricate things happen that lead to me becoming a super famous actress-singer-dancer-model who happens to inherit like 100 million dollars and a giant L.A mansion from a millionaire who was very fond of me. From there, the adventures are endless, I star in movies, and make music and fall in love numerous times. 

Music is the number 1 trigger for me, I always imagine I am the person singing the song or I am dancing to it, and often a song may be used as the background music for a montage of events that take place like a movie.

Here’s where the breakdown happens.

I was shopping alone at the nearby mall (I hate my friends so I like to go alone and spend the time daydreaming), and I’m listening to music and imaging a montage. I was listening to a sad song and for some reason, I imagined the guy I was in love with being killed in a car accident. I broke down in tears in the middle of the mall because the person I cared about most in the world had just died, so what other reaction was there?

It was at this moment that I realized I was crying over something that didn’t exist. I felt crazy. And after I picked myself up and stopped crying, I really began to think about what had just happened. Despite being a hardcore daydreamer for years, I had never experienced such pain from one of my fantasies. And then I remembered that I control what happens in my daydreams, and that I was the one who decided to kill off my love. I brought this pain upon myself. 

It was then that I realized that I just self-harmed. Sure, I didn’t slit my wrists or pull out my hair, I didn’t cause myself any physical pain like most do, I caused myself emotional pain. I harmed my emotional state and broke my own heart. And even thought I could just imagine that he is alive again, I refuse, because I feel as if he is actually dead, I feel as if a part of me is dead, because I lost the love of my life. 

And I feel completely insane, because I know that I did this to myself. 

If you read this through, thank you. I know it’s long and perhaps confusing, but I needed to get this off my chest. And maybe someone out there has been though a similar thing, and this has let them know that they’re not alone. 

for most of my day, I am sad.
but the saddest part? waking up in the morning.
opening my eyes and realising that I’m still here. I’m alive. and I have to go on.
the feeling of everything starting again, all the sadness and the anger.
the feeling of knowing that you have to get up and keeping moving, even though there is NOTHING in the world that sounds worse.
the fact that simply waking up causes me so much pain and that getting up takes so much effort and energy and strength.
because waking up is a reminder that you are alive and getting up is a reminder that you have to live. and to me, there is nothing sadder than that.
—  my head,
Lardo, Ransom, and Holster: A Guide to Senior Level Friendship

For sad anon who I unwittingly made sadder with sad holster shit. (MY BAD!)

  • So, let’s all turn our attention to Lardo, Samwell’s resident “I am better than you at literally everything” manager. While much attention has been given to Bitty and how he will handle Jack’s graduation, Lardo is also going to have to deal with a Shitty-less existence. (at least at Samwell)
  • Okay, in Lardo’s head, she has kept the balance between hockey-friends and art-friends pretty 50/50. Like, yes, she and Shitty hung out a lot last year but she is still really close to her art friends because they have three hour art classes together and the bonds between folks who stare at the same still life for three hours cannot be broken.
  • Neither can the bonds between those who scramble to actually finish pieces before the show opens in panic and– oh, wait… Shitty helped her with that. And all the hockey boys came to the art show and, no, they had no idea what was going on but they tried and they supported her and she didn’t realize it but she hasn’t quite forgiven her art friends for muttering about “the dumb jocks” that “only came for the free booze.”
  • (Seriously, when did the free spirited art crowd get so… judgmental? Senior year starts and suddenly no one wants to come visit her at the Haus and why is it that the hockey guys are always down to try new things but when she mentions that they should come get out and see a game, she gets sort of scoffed at.)
  • Okay, back to the point. The point is that Lardo finds the beginning of her senior year to be… strange. In her head she is an art-kid who happens to hang out with the hockey bros but she stops getting invited to everything and then when she does go she feels like she’s on the outskirts and–
  • Maybe it was a mistake to live in the Haus. It’s another degree of separation from her art friends (another thing she does that’s different) and Shitty isn’t even there. So it’s not like she pictured it. It’s not getting high with Shitty and talking shit on the roof. It’s… Shitty was her person. On the team. It was Ransom and Holster and Bitty and Jack and Nursey and Dex and Chowder was happy with everyone and now hangs out with Bitty a fair amount and she hangs out with Bitty too, she fucking loves Bitty but he is on his phone or skyping a lot these days (she’ll let him keep lying for as long as he wants but honestly)–
  • What I’m getting at here is that Lardo spends September awkwardly lonely. Trying to force friendships with art people she doesn’t really connect with anymore, missing Shitty, and feeling more morose than she should be. Of course, she assumes that no one notices because she is Lardo. Silent and surly and too-cool-for-you are her things. Everyone is too busy doing their own thing and she will balance this eventually and be fine, she just has to stop being so freakin’ melodramatic.
  • Enter Ransom and Holster.

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2

°You come home and find Jax having a panic attack because he feels there is nothing good left anymore and he doesn’t deserve you. You calm him down and tell him you’re pregnant.

When Jax found his father’s journal, he dedicate hisself to his memory, trying his very level best to turn the club around for the better.

Jax’s son, Abel, was still in the hospital, “cooking in the toaster” as he called it. That precious baby was certainly a fighter.

I’d been dating Jax for about 6 months now and he was really everything I needed and wanted in a man.

I recently found out that I was pregnant and I knew that I needed to tell him, but I just didn’t know how to tell him.

I was out shopping and fell in love when I saw the baby clothes. I decided to grab some items for Abel and that’s when it hit me. Now is the time that Jax needed to know.

On my way home, I had extra pep in my step. The giddyness had my tummy doing flips and made me fidgety.

I walked through the door carrying my purchases. Jax sat at the table, smoking a cigarette and reading the journal.

When he saw me, he kindly put the cigarette out, blowing his last hit in the other direction.

“Look at all the adorable clothes I found, Hun.”

He smirked, but I could tell that he didn’t put much effort into it. I let it slide and continued taking the clothes out.

About half way through, I couldn’t keep up the charade, “What’s going on Jax?” I asked, dropping the onesie in my lap.

He ran his fingers through his long hair, staring at the manuscript. “I don’t know if I can keep doing this,”

When he actually looked at me, I could see the panic rise.

“What do you mean?”

“The clubs not going in the right direction and I’m not taking care of you properly. Hell, you’re going out a buying clothes for my kid… I don’t deserve you.”

My chest tightened, “Woah, woah, woah. Babe, calm down.”

He shook his head and I was getting so scared, “I think-”

“Don’t you dare say it Teller.” I said, my voice catching as I teared up.

He sighed, “What can I honestly give you? I’m hardly ever here.”

I wiped a tear from my cheek, “I understand this life, Jackson. I get it,” I leaned forward and gripped his ring clad hands, “You’ve given me so much… you can’t just up and leave us. Not now.”

“Wait… what fo you mean ‘us’?”

“I’m pregnant.” I said, my tone so much sadder than what I wanted it to be.

I wanted this to be a joyus moment, but with everything falling on Jax, it just didn’t seem like it was going to happen.

He sat back in his chair, stunned.

When he didn’t say anything, I calmly put the onesie in my hand on top of the others and went to the bedroom.

All I wanted to do was crawl into bed to sleep and cry.

A few moments later, Jax crept into the room, looking ashamed. He climbed into bed with me, being the big spoon.

Kissing my neck, he ran his hand over my hip and onto my stomach, where he proceeded to caress the small bump.

“We’re gonna be parents, huh?”

I nodded, letting him take his time.

“I’m sorry for loosing my shit, baby.” He whispered.

I turned over as he stayed propped up on his elbow.

Taking my hand, I put some of his long hair behind his ear, “I know it’s alot to take in, but I’m here for the long haul, Jax. I know there’ll be nights when you don’t come home til morning. We’ll argue and most of it will be over stupid shit,”

He looked down at me, his blue eyes much more clear than when I first came home.

“What matters is that we fight for what we have; what we’ve created. I’m… We’re not going anywhere. I’ll be here to help with Abel and he’ll be the best big brother.”

At that, Jax gave me a sweet smile, then bit his bottom lip.

Cupping my cheek, he leaned down and kissed me soundly. When Jackson kissed, you knew it and you heard it.

“I love you, baby… both of you.” He said, as he pulled back.

“I love you too, Jax.”

“Thanks for keeping my head on straight. I have a funny feeling that you’ll be doing that alot more as we grow together.”

“Hmmm, ya don’t say?” I said, being playful.

He laughed, scooching down and pulling my shirt up slightly.

Resting his forehead above my belly button, watched as he kissed the bump and began talking lowly to it.

It was little things like this that gave me hope and a glimpse of what was to come later on in life.

Temptations and heartaches (f)(s)(a)(m)

Word count: 12.821
Genre: Fluff, smut, angst, mature (hence the length)
Summary: You’ve had feelings for Taehyung ever since you met him, however when he hurts you deeply your relationship change. During his absence you get close to Jungkook, however your feelings for Taehyung are undeniable when he returns. Who do you choose? The guy you’ve always loved or the guy you’ve grown to love?

Hey guys! This is my first scenario ever, evolving from a dream I had the other night. which may make the first bit of the story seem illogical (to all of you out there that - like myself - prefer scenarios to be realistic) but because it was taken from my dream, I tried to adapt it so it became more logical. I hope you all enjoy it, I’m sorry for any mistakes throughout the story, it’s my first time writing anything. Hope you enjoy
____________

You never really wanted to go on this trip, however Taehyung was going and that made you join in. You had the biggest crush on him, and you knew that he probably knew. Being close to BTS and admitting to having a crush on one of them also meant having them work together like ants to let the loved member know. You never figured out if he liked you back, but you were the only girl he ever seemed interested in. You were best friends on snapchat and he’d always snap you all these weird pictures of himself, whether it be a cute selfie, a new zit or his feet in a car. You loved all of them the same, though. Whenever you joined in on these school trips around Seoul you’d always share your headphones with him, listening to Big Bang’s “Let’s not fall in love”. Taehyung always chose that song and you’d always worry that he was trying to spew hints at you with it, but you’d always remember how big of a fan Taehyung was and calm yourself down. It was you, Taehyung and his class. You were excited to spend the day without the company of BTS, even though you were very close to all of them as well. However, Taehyung was distant all day. He didn’t sit next to you in the subway, nor did he say anything in particular other than the obligatory ‘Hello’ when you arrived. Before you knew it, Taehyung was gone. Taehyung and 3 other guy friends had taken a different train halfway through the day. You thought it was an accident. Laughing to yourself, you turned your head to the rest of the group.
“What a bunch of dorks, this is the right one!” you pointed to the train and entered with the rest of them.
Nobody really answered you, but went along with you anyway. You tried calling Taehyung a few times in the train, but he didn’t answer. He didn’t answer your snaps either, nor your texts. You were starting to worry, not understanding why he wasn’t answering. When you arrived at your destination, you asked the group if you should sit down and wait for the other boys to take the right train back here.
“We could just enter the museum down the block instead… If they want to come, they’ll come.” A tall guy shrugged.
If they want to come… what do you mean? This is your school trip! You hesitantly agreed and you went to the museum with them. Walking around there you realized how Taehyung’s absence made it all dull. You kept calling him and snapping him, but he’d never reply. Hours later, you saw that he had posted a public snap on his snapchat of him laughing with the three guys at a café. It felt as if someone had knocked the air out of you. He’d ignored you. He’d ignored you the entire time. You felt angered, however you didn’t want to lose it in front of his school mates and you knew that he’d have to be home before the curfew set by Big Hit, so you thought you’d deal with it later. You decided to try once more and called him, but as you expected; no reply.
As the day progressed, you grew sadder. Taehyung never came back and you kept wondering where he was. Your worry had turned to sadness the moment you saw him at the café, and you didn’t understand why he was ignoring you nor why he had left so suddenly.
When you realized Taehyung wasn’t coming back, you left the group to go home. Halfway there, you decided you’d stop by their dorm, hoping you’d see a recognizable face.
When you saw Jin standing against the wall outside, you couldn’t have let out a more relieved sigh.
“Jin, oh my God…” you ran over to him and hugged him, very close to tears.
“Y/N, hey, little one..” his tall figure wrapped around you as he rested his head on your head. Something in his voice sounded sad.
“I miss Taehyung and I don’t know where he went.” you murmured.
“Yeah, I get it…” he kissed the top of your head.
“When will he come back?” you asked.
No reply.
“I miss him so much.” you mumbled again against Jin’s shirt.
“Yeah, me too…”
The tone in his voice made you even sadder and the fact that he was dismissive when you asked about his return made you panic. You looked briefly to your right and saw Jungkook appearing.
“Kookie!!!” you almost screamed as you ran towards him and hugged him so tightly. Because the two of you were the same in age, you always felt very close to him. You’d always suspected that he had a crush on you, but neither of you acted on it because of Taehyung. His eyes lit up as he spread his arms to embrace you and hugged you so tightly.
As he let you go, you quickly grew sad again. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and asked you if you wanted to go to his room. You couldn’t shake the feeling that everyone knew your reason to be sad.
When you entered the room, he sat down on the edge of his bed; however you stayed by the door.
“Jungkook… I miss Taehyung…” you felt the tears pool up in your eyes from not knowing what was going on. You shifted your gaze from the bed to the floor.
“Jungkook.. When is he coming back?” a tear rolled down your cheek, not sure at what point in the day you realized that Taehyung leaving wasn’t normal.
Jungkook looked at you blankly, however the pain and discomfort was noticeable in his eyes.
“December… 6 months.” he murmured.
You felt time stop. You didn’t understand anything. How could he leave in the middle of a school trip, how could he leave without saying goodbye and how could all of this had been going on behind your back?
“It’s a really good opportunity, Y/N… The manager set him up, he’s going abroad to this singing school…It’ll really benefit him.” Jungkook continued, when he realized you hadn’t said anything.
Every word felt like a new punch to the stomach. Singing school? His voice already made flowers bloom, damn it.
“He didn’t say anything to me… He invited me to his stupid school trip and left with his friends that I barely know in the middle of the day as I saw him take a different train than the rest of us.” You felt your face getting warm and your shaky voice getting louder as you became angrier.
“I called him 38 times today, Jungkook. I snapped him. I waited for him. I saw him leaving, laughing like an idiot because I thought his confused soul had taken the wrong train – and all he could give me was a public snap of him at a café with friends.” The tears were now streaming down your face and you felt the skin underneath it tighten.
“You know how he is… He’s just scared. He invited you so that he could be with you before leaving, but as I suspected he didn’t gather the courage to properly tell you what would happen.” Jungkook murmured whilst keeping his eyes on the ground. He lifted his head to look at you and when he saw how little you looked, standing alone across the room with clenched fists and tears down your face, he removed a little of the duvet and patted the spot on the bed next to him.
“Come here, little one.”
He tried smiling, but, honestly, his feelings were a mixture of wanting to hold you so tightly you’d never cry again and wanting to punch Taehyung so hard he fell of the face of the earth.
You walked over to the bed and got underneath the duvet, pulling it up over your head so Jungkook wouldn’t see you sob. He sat next to you, looking over at the little ball of duvet that you were enveloped in and caressing your back through the covers. You wanted so bad for him to hold you. Your courage left your body and all you could get yourself to do was to text him, even though you were right underneath his touch.

Jungkook

He chuckled at the text and looked over to you, unsure if he should reply.

Can you hold me?

He put his phone down again and began sliding in under the duvet with you, holding your head down on his chest and pushing you closer at the small of your back. He pressed his lips to your forehead and kept them there forcefully as you cried. When you calmed down, you were still in the same position as before and nobody had spoken a word.
“December, huh…” you stared blankly at the wall next to him.
He answered by pressing another kiss on your head and pulling you a little closer before, eventually, the both of you fell asleep.
The beams of sun landing on your face woke you up, still closely intertwined with Jungkook. Across the room, you saw Namjoon still sleeping. You were wondering why he hadn’t woken you up or guided you to a different bed, but as you felt your skin tight and shiny from last night’s tears, you thought maybe he knew. You saw that Jungkook was still wearing both the makeup, tight leather jeans and t-shirt from last night, which indicated that neither of you had moved all night. As you slept your skirt had curled up to your waist, revealing both your thighs and ass as your leg was pushed over Jungkooks’ hip. His big hand was resting high up your thigh, but you didn’t seem to care. You looked at him peacefully sleeping, mouth slightly open and all his features perfect as ever. You couldn’t help but feel bad that you made him comfort you last night because of Taehyung, when you knew that Jungkook had had feelings for you ever since you met BTS. You noticed how beautiful his features was and as a sudden rush of gratitude filled your body, you put a kiss on his cheek before putting your head back on his chest and enjoying his embrace.
_____


It had been two weeks. Taehyung was still rejecting your calls and BTS became more and more protective by the hour. They had always been protective of you and they made it very clear to everyone around them that you were theirs and that anyone who would ever try to hurt you would have to get through them first. However, things were getting extreme. Every night was movie night and they’d never let you sleep alone. You wondered what they’d done to get this much spare time on their hands, but realizing that they’d all get up extra early in the morning to be able to finish practice in time for them to come home to you made you realize just how protective they were being. You sat down with them at dinner and gathered the courage to mention that you were fine.
“Guys… don’t you think it’s time I go home soon?”
Everyone’s eyes shot over to you and Jungkook dropped the food that was in his mouth back down to his place.
“Why? You like being here, right?” Yoongi asked, obviously concealing his genuine care with condescending logic.
“Yeah, but…” you stuttered.
“Well, we like having you here. So no reason to leave.” He said dismissively, continuing to eat his japchae. You pretended not to notice that it was Taehyung’s favorite meal, but when Jin saw how you looked at the food, he knew exactly what was on your mind. He straightened his back a little and coughed, trying to make you think of something else.
“Why would you want to leave, Y/N?” Jin asked gently but curiously.
“I love being here with you guys, but don’t think I don’t notice how you get up at 4AM to practice and how you desperately look for new movies every night and how you all curl up on the floor next to the bed when I’m sleeping…  I’m fine, you know.”
Your voice cracked on ‘fine’ and you felt the tears pooling in your eyes. You were crying partially because of Taehyung but also partially because their generosity overwhelmed you.
“You’re ours, little one. We want to take care of you. Waking up a little earlier is a small price to pay.” Namjoon added.
“Yeah, so shut up, pabo.” Jimin smiled at you.
You felt slightly ashamed, but smiled whilst your eyes stayed glued to the floor. You brushed a tear away from your cheek and as you let your wet hand fall down again, you felt Jungkook grab it. You looked at him through your locks and you saw him smile.
“So… how is he?” you asked the table, whilst still keeping your eyes on the floor.
“He’s okay.” Hoseok forcefully smiled, obviously not wanting to talk about Taehyung for long, scared that his words might hurt you. You looked up at them and waited for someone to elaborate.
“Uhh… Haha, well, you know him and his English. So I think… maybe… he feels a little lonely. But he’s okay.” Jin smiled, awkwardly trying to stretch out of his discomfort.
“Can you say I said hi? Next time you talk to him, that is…” you looked at Jin.
He looked at you with obvious sadness in his eyes, but sighed and smiled, breaking eye contact with you.
“Yeah, sure, Y/N…”
_____


The days continued to go by as usual and suddenly your daily attire had swapped from your own clothes to eternally walking around in Jungkook’s huge, boxy white t-shirts and panties. More and more of your own clothes were slowly being brought to the dorm and suddenly Jimin was washing your clothes along with the rest. Your felt guilty about being there, but you also had to admit that it felt good to be there with them. It felt like home. Nights were spent as you slept on Jungkook’s bed, whilst everyone else dragged their mattresses to the room to surround the bed and sleep with you. The days, however, were mostly spent with Jungkook. He’d take you everywhere with him, you even went with him when he got his hair cut. He’d do anything for you at this point. Whether it be bringing you to an amusement park, or simply bringing you down the block for some boba, you were always next to him and he was always next to you. The way his fingers intertwined with yours became very familiar to you. The feeling you’d get when he’d laugh against your skin when watching movies became recognizable. His comforting hugs when you’d cry became a shelter and you always knew exactly how his body curved and where your head rested the best.
“You know… You don’t have to sleep on the mattress. I’m in your bed after all…” you murmured whilst poking in your boba with your straw. He blushed a little, but assumed you’d said it out of politeness.
“Don’t worry about me, Y/N. My bed isn’t exactly fit for two people anyway…” he smiled but you could’ve been sure you saw the pink rush to his cheeks.
“I think it fits two people, I slept really good that one night.” You referred to the night Taehyung left, and if you didn’t see him blush before, he was definitely getting red now. God knows he slept well that night too. And God knows he’d do it again. A thousand times, if needed.
“Yeah, haha… but don’t you think it’d be weird sleeping with you whilst the rest of the guys are sleeping next to us on the floor?” the words left his mouth semi-stuttered and you could see him getting flustered. You didn’t even mean to flirt, but you felt the butterflies growing in your stomach throughout the conversation.
“I think it’s time for them to sleep in their own beds too anyway. It doesn’t feel fair to me that they have to be around me all the time.” Your expression grew a little serious and so did Jungkook’s.
“You know, they truly do it because they want to. You shouldn’t ever feel bad about it.” He grabbed your hand across the table.
“Yeah, well, I have to learn to sleep without the company 5 boys on mattresses sometime.” You laughed and he began caressing the back of your hand with his thumb.
“I’ll tell them.” He smiled at you, cheeks still flushed with color.
“It’ll be a little lonely not listening to Jimin sleeptalking though.” You joked.
“Right? He tells the best stories in his sleep, I swear.” He ironically joked along as you left the shop.
The guys were hesitant to start sleeping in their own beds again, but when you saw Jungkook lean in across the table and whisper something inaudible, you knew that he was probably twisting the truth a little to get them to leave. You saw them looking slightly impressed and began pushing their mattresses out of the room. Namjoon walked over to you and lifted his eyebrows.
“So, I guess I’ll be sleeping in Taehyung’s bed now, if sleeping with 6 boys really gets you so hot and bothered” He smiled at you and winked.
“What?” you asked curiously.
He didn’t bother replying and only chucked lightly as he moved his pillow and duvet.
You wanted to ask Jungkook why Namjoon was leaving, but you were too busy noticing how big and empty the room looked. A sudden loneliness struck you and you started doubting if it was the right choice to ask them to leave. Jungkook was looking nervous to say the least, shifting across the room wriggling his fingers and pretending to look for something.
“Can I borrow another t-shirt to sleep in?” you asked innocently.
“Yeah! Just… wait, I’ll get it for you. What color?” His voice was a little lighter than usual and his words were a cluttered mess. You didn’t understand why he was so nervous, but you decided not to comment on it.
“Just whatever.” You smiled and accepted yet another boxy, white t-shirt.
You pulled your shirt off, entirely dismissing that Jungkook was in the room until you were standing in front of him in your bra and skirt. When you saw how flustered he looked, you quickly and forcefully pushed the t-shirt over your head and removed your skirt underneath it. None of you commented on what had happened, you just went straight to bed.
“Are you going to come in?” you smiled, lifting the duvet as guidance. He was standing across the room staring blankly at you.
“Y-yeah.” He walked over slowly and slid his arm and one leg underneath you so that you were wrapped in his embrace once again. He hugged you tightly and placed his cheek on your head. You could hear his heartbeat and wondered how come he could’ve been so courageous the night Taehyung left, only to turn into this nervous mess now. You traced his chest with your fingers, feeling a rush of warmth flush through your body.
“I feel very safe with you.” You murmured against his skin.
You felt him exhale and tighten his grip on you. It’s as if you saying that worked some sort of magic on him and his anxiety left him entirely. He stopped holding his breath and his breathing became more and more normal by the second.
“Taehyung doesn’t know shit…” he mumbled angrily.
Your eyes popped open in confusion, lowering your brows as you lifted his head to look at him. His eyes were closed.
“What?” you tilted your head.
There was a brief pause as he composed himself.
“I’m not saying it’s wrong that he left. It’s a rare opportunity that presented itself to him, and he was pushed by our management to take it. So he did. But I don’t ever want you to think that the way he left you was okay. Nothing, and I mean nothing can justify him leaving you alone in Seoul and leaving for half a year without saying anything to you. Taehyung doesn’t know shit. He doesn’t know shit about how fucking amazing you are.” There was a sharpness to his voice. He looked at you intensely and a tension was growing in the room. Left dumbfounded, your lips parted but no words were coming out. Your eyes shifted from his eyes to his lips and back again. The room became so quiet all you could hear was his breath and how it always landed on your lips. You were closer to him now, taking in all his features. His smile lines had flattened out as his eyes shifted down to your lips the closer you got. You saw all the muscles in his face tense up as he slowly but surely tilted his head to meet your lips. You closed your eyes and met him gently. None of you dared to move as your lips slowly adapted to each other. You felt everything. His lips felt like cushions and every now and then, when your lips parted just enough, you were able to feel a dry spot on his lower lip. You wanted to take him in, all of him. You let your lips run along every crevice before you slowly pulled back, your lips sticking to each other as you did. The sticky sensation was still there after you’d retreated and it sent shivers down your spine. You looked up at him, confused about your own action. All you could hear was how you both breathed in harmony, but words weren’t necessary right now. He could tell everything he needed to know by your eyes. While he saw your love and lust for him, he also noticed your doubt, fear and confusion. You didn’t know what to tell him.
“I’m glad you feel safe with me.” He broke the silence, referring to your statement long ago. There was a certain hurt to his voice, but he pulled you in nonetheless and pushed your head down to his chest again.
You, remaining silent, went back to tracing his chest with your fingers.
“I hope you’ll be ready for me one day.” He mumbled as he ran his fingers through your hair one last time, kissing the top of your head and slowly dozing off.
You didn’t sleep much that night. Your head was going a thousand miles per hour and everything felt hazy. Your mind was wandering from Taehyung to Jungkook and you felt as if you knew nothing at all. You knew nothing, but that this felt right.
It just felt right.

_____

The room felt empty upon waking up. The guys were all sleeping in their own beds again, so the floor was entirely cleared. You were still in Jungkook’s embrace, which made you wonder what time it was. It was almost 4AM and you knew that the boys would be getting up soon. You wanted to get up and pee, but if they saw you up in the middle of the night, you knew they’d suspect you were feeling sad again. You forced your eyes shut and waited the last 12 minutes out until you heard Jimin silently whispering through the door for Jungkook to wake up. You felt his body tense up beneath you as he came to his senses. He patted your hair and slowly wriggled himself off the bed, thinking that you were asleep. You felt him stand by the bed for a few seconds, unsure if he was looking at you or not. He was. He got his clothes and went to the bathroom and as you heard the showerhead turn on, you exhaled. You laid there for a while just looking at the ceiling, listening to the boys get ready. You wondered how they could be so quiet, when they were usually so noisy around each other – however, it seemed logical when considering that they hadn’t ever woken you up before. As you heard them silently leave and the door close shut, you opened your eyes and sat up on the bed. The room was still dark and the dorm quieter than ever. You went out of Jungkook’s room and stood for the hallway for a little bit, noticing how empty it all felt. The door of Taehyung’s room wasn’t entirely shut and you felt your legs automatically guide you towards his room. Other than the bed with Namjoon’s sheets on it, the room both felt and smelled entirely of Taehyung. He hadn’t even cleaned it before leaving, so piles of his clothes were just lying there on the floor. You felt the tears pooling up in your eyes as you realized how desperate you were just to talk to him. Just to figure out what you could’ve possibly done for him to leave you like that. You felt hopeless. You sat on the floor leaning against his closet, picking up one of his Zootopia plushes and hugged it tight. You surely messed it up now. Realizing that not only had you kissed Jungkook, but also undeniably had grown to love him, your palms started sweating with rage towards yourself. Not only were you getting fed, housed and taken care of by the most amazing guys you’ve met, you were also meddling in their affairs, knowing that no matter what you did now, you’d upset someone. You looked at the plush and squeezed it as tears rolled down your face. You sat there for a good half an hour before throwing it away and leaving the room. You washed your face and went back to bed.
Jungkook woke you up when they had come home from practice.
“Goodmorning, Y/N… Don’t you think it’s time for you to wake up?” He smiled down at you, brushing your cheek with his thumb.
You lifted your arms in response, waiting for him to pick you up. He sighed laughingly as he lifted you and put you on the floor.
“Goodmorning.” You said sleepily as you stood in front of him, looking very small in his huge t-shirt.
He grabbed you by the hand and pulled you out of the room.
“Let’s eat together!” He smiled and you wondered how he could be so relaxed and joyous considering what had happened between the two of you last night.
You sat yourself down on the couch and pulled a blanket on top of you, barely noticing that Yoongi and Jimin were next to you.
“You look ready to take on the day.” Yoongi smiled.
You smiled with your eyes shut and they both considered it answer enough.
Jungkook entered the living room with two rolls of kimbap and sat down between you and Jimin, handing you one of the rolls.
“Eat up!”
At this point, you were slowly waking up and you pushed your hand through the blanket and grabbed the foiled roll.
“Thanks a lot, Kookie” You smiled at him through the blanket and he nudged himself a little closer. You scrolled through the tv-channels until you found an anime both you and Jungkook loved. You sat there for a few hours until you deemed it appropriate to go shower.
“I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet, Jungkook…”
“But there’s still like 3 episodes left!”
“We’ll watch them tonight then!”
You yelled lightheartedly at each other from across the room as you slowly left the room.
You noticed that Jimin had taken all of your clothes to wash them, so you gave yourself the freedom to pull one of Jungkook’s sweatshirts on. You threw yourself on the bed and started doodling in your notebook. You had put on your earphones and listened to EXO as you let yourself relax alone for a little while, when suddenly the door stormed open as Jimin entered the room.
“Y/N-ya!!!!! We’re making a video for Taehyung, say hi!!!” He smiled widely as his bubbly personality poured out of him.
Remembering that you were laying on Jungkook’s bed in his clothes without makeup and with wet hair, you panicked. You froze entirely and all you could get out of your mouth was a stuttered ‘H-h-hi’ whilst staring at Jimin.
He turned the camera towards himself, “Well, she’s obviously busy so you’ll talk to her some other time. Let’s go say hi to Jin.”
As he left the room, you felt the anxiety and sadness grow in your stomach. You pulled the pillow up to your face wanting to scream into it, but instead all that came out was a long exhale. After you had sat with your face in the pillow for some time, you went back to doodling and turned the music up so high you wouldn’t hear anything, not even if someone dropped a bomb in the dorm. About an hour had passed when your music was stopped by an incoming text message. 


So you and Jungkook are a thing now, huh? Since you’re halfnaked in his bed without makeup. That’s nice of you. 


It was from Taehyung. Your stomach began turning and you felt the rage bubble reaching the ends of your fingertips. How fucking dare he ask me that? How fucking dare he have that one message be the only thing he’s ever said to me in a month?
As your rage grew, you decided not to answer him, but instead you went out in the living room where you saw Yoongi and Jungkook still situated on the couch, playing video games.
“Let’s go out tonight.” You tried to hide your anger with a smile, but the tension in your face and your sudden request gave you away. However, none of them decided to comment on it, however Jungkook stayed quiet.
“I’m always up for it, we need to call Changwoo hyungnim though, so that we are reserved in the VIP.” Yoongi shrugged, eyes still glued to the screen.
“Uh, yeah, okay… We can go out, sure! Sure, let’s ask the other guys, Namjoon can call hyungnim and check the guest list and we can go out tonight, if that’s what you’d like, little one.” Jungkook nervously spewed, but not nervous because it was you asking, moreso nervous because he saw that your wish to go out didn’t come from a happy place. He didn’t dare ask, knowing that the guys had just filmed a greeting to Taehyung.
Seeing how Jungkook tried to please you calmed you down greatly and you fell on your knees next to him to hug him thanks. He shaked your hair with one arm around your waist and you got up and exhaled.
“This is great, let’s tell the others!”
_____


You had gone home to find something to wear, seeing as you couldn’t go to their A-list celebrity club wearing Jungkook’s sweatshirt. While you were out of the dorm, Jungkook took the time to talk to Namjoon.
“Hyung, do you have the time?”
“Hey, sure, I’ve called Changwoo hyungnim, he said there’d be no problems and the guestlist would be regulated so that we can enjoy the night peacefully. He’ll send a car for us when we’re ready.” Namjoon said, eyes stuck to his phone as Jungkook stood in the door.
“Oh, that’s not it… Actually, I wanted to talk about Y/N.” Jungkook’s palms were getting sweaty by the mention of your name.
“Y/N? Come in, man.” Namjoon pointed to the beanbag chair across his bed, guiding Jungkook towards it.
“So, what’s up?” he asked, noticing that Jungkook was being quiet.
“She kissed me last night. I mean, we kissed last night. Like, for a while.” Jungkook didn’t know what to expect as an answer. Either he’d be scolded for messing with you because of Taehyung or he’d be praised for finally kissing you.
“Did the two of you…?” Namjoon looked at Jungkook with his eyes squinted, hoping that he’d get the sexual hint.
“No, no, no, no! We just kissed. It was calm. And nice. We fell asleep after it.” Jungkook felt the heat rushing through his body as he remembered the previous night, but also felt ashamed for possibly using you during your vulnerable time.
“You two seemed so normal today though, it hasn’t been awkward at all. Have you talked to her about it?”
“I can’t waste time being awkward with her, hyung. She needs me, well, us, but she needs me right now and that’s more important than being awkward because we kissed. I don’t want her to think about it, I’m not going to mention it unless she does first. I just don’t want her to think that I’m taking advantage.”
There was a brief pause in the conversation. Jungkook couldn’t look Namjoon in the eye, but he also knew that Namjoon was the most mature in the house and that if he needed advice, he was the one to go to.
“Well, she initiated it, right?”
“Yeah…”
“Look, I don’t know what’s gonna happen when Taehyung comes home. I can’t tell you what to do, but if it were me, I wouldn’t tell him about the kiss until he’s here again. Taehyung and Y/N haven’t kissed and while I know that he liked her a lot, we don’t know what’s gonna happen in the next half year. But I can’t tell you to ignore your feelings. Nobody here is going to judge you, as long as you aren’t using her.”
Namjoon stood up and patted him on the back.
“Good job, though. Y/N’s hot.”
The last statement finally loosened Jungkook up and he smiled and exhaled in relief.
“Thanks, hyung. I just needed to know you wouldn’t hate me.”
Namjoon smiled at him and spread his arms, waiting for Jungkook to hug him.
“Disgusting.” Jungkook joked and left the room.
“Yah pabo!” Namjoon yelled, but quickly began laughing.
____


You were sure you were about to give up after trying on the 8th dress. Until you saw it. The red, tight, short dress that both enhanced your cleavage and your ass. You had never had the courage to wear it, always feeling too revealed and raunchy with it on. Until now. You pulled it out and on top of your head, slightly impressed with yourself when you saw how big and firm your boobs looked in it. When you turned around, the sight of your ass didn’t disappoint you either. You decided that this was it, pairing it with a pair of black stilettoes and your hair let down. After applying your makeup, you called a cab and drove to the dorm for pregaming.
You opened the door and saw that they were already sitting around the dinner table playing cards and drinking.
“The soju’s already out?” You asked as you appeared in the room.
They all looked stunned, really. Some of them were a bit better at hiding it, such as Namjoon, Hoseok and Yoongi, whereas Jimin and Jin were a little bit flustered. However, Jungkook was on a whole other level. Nonetheless, not even Yoongi could hide the blush that appeared on his face.
“I don’t know who you’ve dressed up for tonight, but if you’re expecting to bring a boy home tonight, you’re not sleeping here.” Yoongi remarked, as he stared you down for way longer than you’d expected him to do so.
“I’ll take that as a compliment that I look good, rather than you implying I’m easy.” You smiled, well-knowingly that none of them ever thought of you like that.
“You shouldn’t take it any other way.” He smiled as he got up to hug you.
You joined the table after you’d hugged everyone, placing yourself between Jungkook and Yoongi. Jungkook still hadn’t said a word, barely making eye contact with you.
You decided not to tease him too much, focusing more on having fun with Yoongi. He was always the one you’d go to when you needed to talk about anything deeper than the average, but also the one you’d go out with and drink with. You’d joined in on the game where the rules were simple: you pulled a black card, you drink. You pull a red card: you make someone else drink. It was Jungkook’s time and as he pulled a red card for the first time, his tipsy fingers pointed the cards towards you.
“Down a couple of shots for me, little one.” He smiled at you, the alcohol finally giving him courage to look at you without blushing.
“Alright, oppa.” You didn’t break eye contact as you took the shots, feeling how the flirtatious tension between the two of you grew.
As the night continued, you felt yourself getting more and more relaxed and gradually detaching yourself from the anger you’d held onto all day. When it became around 11pm, Namjoon got the driver to pick all of you up and drive you to the club.
You sat in the back with Jungkook, noticing how Namjoon would look back at the two of you and smile every now and then.
“What’s up, are you jealous you can’t join us back here?” You teased, bending over the seats in front of you.
He laughed and gently pushed your head back.
“Yeah, so jealous I can’t be with the two golden maknaes.”
You threw yourself back, partially landing on Jungkook, forcing him to put his arm around your shoulder. You were so close to each other, but the drunken state the two of you were in removed the tension entirely. You felt his breath on your neck and his lips would touch your shoulder every time the car bumped a little. He bit your shoulder teasingly when your hair ended up in his face. It all felt so comfortable. Both of you were laughing loudly, removing any worry either of you had had. When you finally made it to the club, you were guided to the back where 7 drinks were waiting for you.
“Alright, let’s get it!” Jin exclaimed drunkily, passing the drinks amongst you until you stood in a circle, preparing for Jin’s toast.
“To having fun! And to Y/N for initiating this amazing night, we love you and you are very cute.” The words spilled out of his mouth slurred, but everyone agreed and cheered.
As you stood there with the 6 boys, a flush of gratitude rushed through you. Tonight was not about escaping Taehyung. Tonight was about having fun with people whom you love.
The bass was pumping through the club, both English and Korean music being played and lots of both Korean celebrities and American celebrities emptying bottles of Grey Goose and grinding up and down each other on the dance floor.
“Do you wanna do shots?” You asked Yoongi and as usual, he was quick to agree. The two of you left the group to get to the bar, him ordering a round of Tequila shots for the two of you.
“I kissed Jungkook last night.” You yelled to overpower the music and you saw how his eyes widened.
“You’re kidding me, right?”
“Yeah, no, actually not kidding you at all. It was great.”
“What about Taehyung?”

You grabbed your shots and as you clinked the glasses together and downed it, you popped the glass on the counter
“Fuck Taehyung.”
Yoongi knew that now wasn’t the time to talk about it and accepted your anger, laughing along and empowering you for the night. You went back to the group and immediately as you arrived, Snakehips’ ‘Cruel’ came on and Jungkook and you immediately made eye contact as both of your eyes widened. You both loved the song intensely and you had sung it to each other at the dorm.
“Dance with me, Kookie!” You grabbed his hand and pulled him out on the dance floor.
The dance started rather innocent and at one point, he lifted you up on a table where you’d dance whilst looking down at him and the two of you would sing the lyrics out to each other. However, eventually you’d get down and the space between the two of you would quite naturally grow very small. Both of you were too drunk to tense up about it, however it was noticeable that both your and his eyes grew dark with lust. You wondered if it’d be appropriate for you to kiss him right here and now, and you were almost ready to do it when he intertwined his fingers with yours, but if you were to be honest, you loved him too much. Even in your drunken state, you knew that you didn’t ever want him to think that you were just using him as a rebound for Taehyung, even if you weren’t sure of your feelings towards him just yet. The song eventually ended and was replaced by BigBang’s ‘Bang Bang Bang’ which luckily sent Jungkook rocketing through the roof, entirely evading a possibly awkward rejection on your part. Jimin joined the two of you on the floor voluntarily whilst you went up to drag the rest of the guys down with you.
A little bit of sadness grew inside you, knowing that Taehyung and Jungkook usually had their BigBang thing together, but you pushed it away when you saw how Jungkook’s eyes had turned into tiny moons and his smile was glowing up the entire club as he danced with Jimin. He kept pulling you in and it was as if every worry and sadness evaporated and you could think of nothing but how good it felt to be held by your one and only Jungkook.
The night continued with shots, dancing and laughing and at 4AM with Jin passed out under the table, you all thought it’d be a good idea to go home.
In your drunken state, you all somehow agreed that it would be best to just let Jin sleep in the bathtub and you went to fetch some blanket and pillows to put underneath him, all harmonically laughing together, thinking that you were absolute geniuses. Yoongi got a marker and handed it over to you and you both knew what time it was. You contemplated for a long time on whether or not you should go with the classic dick drawing, but seeing how peaceful and happy Jin looked as he slept, you just wrote “Bad eomma” on his forehead.
With the booze still very much rushing through your blood, you sat down on the floor hysterically laughing at the whole situation and both Yoongi and Jungkook joined you on the floor next to you.
“I’ll be going to bed.” Yoongi slurred as he lifted himself off the floor and tripped on his way out of the door in a proper drunken manner.
“Look, we’re not fucking practicing tomorrow; I don’t fucking care who our manager is or what show we’re doing! I’m not doing shit tomorrow other than eating anything deepfried. Do we have anything deepfried now actually?” Yoongi spoke to himself as he walked through the house and you heard him opening the fridge door in the distance.
You and Jungkook looked at each other and laughed at his speech to himself.
“Isn’t it funny our song played at the club tonight?” You asked while looking at the ceiling.
“Our song?” He asked curiously, looking at you.
“Well, it’s our song. Right? Who else?”
“Yeah, it’s our song. It was great. I had a lot of fun.”
“We’re still having fun!”

Both of you sighed and remembered that you were leaning against the bathtub with Jin’s head poking out and you both fell apart in laughter.
Jungkook got up and you spread your arms, letting him know to pick you up.
He lifted you and carried you to the room, letting you down by the closet. You had given up on asking him about borrowing clothes and you were practically using his closet as your own. You pulled the red dress over your head, revealing your lacy black lingerie to Jungkook.
“Don’t do that to me, Y/N.” He sighed and smiled at the floor as he took his shirt off and threw himself on the bed.
You just chuckled and dismissed his remark, pulling yet another oversized t-shirt over your head.
“You’re sleeping shirtless tonight?” You were surprised that you felt slightly flustered and tried to hide your blushing.
“Yeah, it’s hot. Get in!”
You both knew exactly how to lie in the small bed to both be comfortable and you slid into all his cracks and curves perfectly as the two of you enveloped each other. He held his hands on your thighs and your head was hidden in the crook of his neck.
You felt that your hair was in the way, so you sat up on his lap to tie it up, however the motion of you sitting perfectly aligned with his bulge looking down at him immediately turned on every sexual relation in Jungkook’s mind and his body responded to his thoughts instantaneously. You felt something poke your butt and you widened your eyes as you saw him blush.
“I’m really sorry, I’m drunk, could you just lift yourself so I can reposition? Don’t mind it at all, just… I’m drunk, I’m sorry.” He sloppily spilled his excuses, but you listened none the less and lifting your hips slightly as he readjusted himself. When you sat down again, you felt the outline of his cock perfectly aligned with your slit. Your eyes widened even more when you noticed his size and you felt your clit thump at the thought of what it must feel like. Both of you grew quiet and neither of you could evade the tension now. You put your hands on his chest and looking down on his fit body you began rocking yourself back and forth, slowly grinding him.
“Y/N…” He murmured whilst looking at you through his lashes.
You closed your eyes and threw your head back as you gradually picked up your pace and pushed yourself more downward the more heated you got. You didn’t know if it was the alcohol that gave you the courage, but you ignored every mumbled remark, well-knowingly that he could push you off any time. You needed him. Besides both of your heavy breaths, you both remained rather quiet. Not because you weren’t stimulated enough, but rather because the atmosphere and the shyness that comes along with discovering the unknown. However, when you felt him twitch his cock beneath you, making it punch against your clit, a moan slipped from your mouth. When he heard your moan he sharply inhaled as he dug his fingers down in your skin.
“Fuck, Y/N…” he mumbled.
You took your shirt off, still grinding on top of him and you felt him tense up as you revealed your bra. He had seen it just a few minutes ago as you were changing to his shirt, but the different atmosphere called for a different reaction. He loosened his grip on your thighs and slowly glided his hands upwards across your waist until his thumbs ran across the lacy fabric. His breathing got heavier and seeing how he silently praised you turned you on even more.
Even though the alcohol had given you courage to get this far, kissing Jungkook still made you nervous. There was something very intimate about intertwining your lips with his and feeling his soft lips like drizzle on your own. However, when you went in to kiss him, there was no drizzle this time. When he pushed his tongue towards your teeth and you obeyed, it was a hurricane. Your tongues were dancing to the same song and your hands were in his hair as you continued to rock on his bulge. With ease, he flipped you around so that you were on your back and sat on his knees between your legs. With his hands behind your back, he unclasped your bra and pulled away from the kiss to see your revealed and naked chest. To say that he was stunned would be an understatement. He slowly traced your boobs with his fingers as he mumbled a quiet “You’re perfect…”
He went down to place kisses along your neck as he whispered praises along the delicate of your skin.
“You’re so beautiful, Y/N”
“Oh my God…”
“You’re amazing.”

You heard the sincerity in your voice and hearing how he was genuinely overwhelmed with your beauty made your hunger for him grow even more.
He went down and kissed up your thigh until he reached the hem of your black lace panties. You had soaked them and when he removed them, your lips were glistening. He bit his lip in response before placing a peck on top of it, making eye contact with you. He then proceeded to lick up and down your slit, teasing you until he finally pushed his tongue to your clit. The anticipation made you twitch and you felt him smile against your skin as he realized how badly you wanted him. He continued to suck, lick and bite your clit and just when you thought you were getting close to the edge, he pushed a finger in there, perfectly hitting your spot.
“Jungkook…” You moaned out and you noticed how it turned him on to hear his own name.
As he tensed up, he pushed another finger in, now going harder with his fingers and faster with his tongue. He looked up at you, admiring how he was making your boobs bounce just with two of his fingers, not even daring to imagine what you’ll look like when his cock fills you up.
As his pace went up, you felt your core heating up and you were going to overflow soon.
“Jungkook, I want to cum with you inside me…” You oddly felt nervous saying it, not knowing how he’d react to your bluntness.
“I’ll make you cum again, baby.” Although there was something very erotic about that, you also noticed the tenderness in his voice, and how he just wanted to make you feel good.
You knew that if he didn’t stop, you’d cum even if you wanted to or not and as he sucked onto your clit, you let yourself go. Seeing you twitch underneath his touch made him groan against you skin as he let you ride it out on his fingers. He cleaned his face off in the sheets as he lifted himself to kiss you again. He flipped you over again, so that you were on top of him, guiding you on top of his cock. As you let it slip into you, feeling his girth fill you up, you let out a loud moan. He groaned at the sight, throwing his head back and closing his eyes before opening them up to watch you bounce on top of him. His hands were greedy, tracing up and down your body, unsure of which part to touch first.
“Fuck, baby…” He caressed your boobs while you moans slowly became louder.
He grabbed your hips and lifted you a few centimeters to make himself able to thrust in and out of you, taking control. Nothing was hotter to him than seeing you squirm as he thrusted himself deep into you, your pussy swallowing his dick whole. He picked up his pace as he lifted his legs and pushed you close to him and small whimpers escaped your mouth. He pushed his arm between your bodies to reach your clit and you could feel your orgasm nearing as he pressed his fingers onto it.
“Jungkook…” you stuttered and whined, as his pace became gradually more unsteady and his raspy groans filled the rooms. Your stomach knotted as you came, squirming beneath his touch. Almost a second later, you felt the warmth fill you up as he finished. Your moans were loud and in harmony as you finished off and he pulled out of you.
Neither of you were virgins, but something made both of you feel a little timid after that. It felt like the first time. Both of you became quiet after that, looking at each other in the darkness, still catching your breath.
“I love you.” Jungkook broke the silence with his hands on your hips. He didn’t smile and you could tell in his voice that he didn’t know how you’d reply.
“I love you, too.” You looked down at him, but neither of you were smiling.
You both knew what you were getting yourselves into.
__


The night had ended with the two of you finally loosening up and hitting the shower together, Jungkook still complimenting your body in the shower. Afterwards you pulled his t-shirt over you and the two of you fell asleep together. It wasn’t until the morning after you had remembered that the two of you weren’t alone in the dorm and hope that the rest were too drunk to notice or care. Entering the living room to see Yoongi passed out on the couch with empty food wrappers besides him and no smell of food wasn’t exactly typical, not even after a night out. Jin would usually be the first to wake up, clean the mess and make all of you hangover breakfast. In that moment, you remembered.
“Fuck, Jin…” You quietly whispered to yourself as you ran into the bathroom, seeing Jin still snoring away in the bathtub, the ‘Bad Eomma’ on his forehead slightly smudged.
You laughed at the sight, but thought it’d be a good idea to finally wake him up.
“Hey, eomma… Wake up.” You chuckled as you shook his shoulders.
When he realized he was in the bathroom, he shook himself awake.
“What the fuck happened last night? Why are you calling me eomma? Why am I in the tub?”
“You fell asleep under the table at the club, don’t you remember? Honestly, Jin oppa, you were wild last night.”
“Fuck… Ugh, my head. I need food. Something deepfried.”
He picked himself up and left the bathroom without paying extra thought to himself, leaving the marker on him.
You smiled and decided to wake up the rest of the boys, but when you went to wake up Namjoon, you stopped in your tracks remembering you were entering Taehyung’s room. A huge rush of guilt flushed through you, feeling terrible about last night. You decided not to enter, figuring one of the other guys would wake him up for you.
At last, all of you sat down and ate breakfast together, discussing the events of last night.
“Did you see Jimin trying to hit on that girl yesterday by introducing himself as ‘Hello we’re BTS!’?” Hoseok laughed, pointing to Jimin’s blushing cheeks.
“Yoongi introducing himself as Agust D to the group of American rappers was extra though…” You added, making everyone laugh and Yoongi blush.
“Nobody beats Jin though. Destroying the club with your moves, screaming ‘Evacuate the dancefloor’ as you shuffled onto the floor.” Namjoon laughed, and everyone agreed that Jin was the funniest last night.
The day slowly became more normal as everyone had showered and eaten, Jin slightly freaking out about his ‘Bad Eomma’, scared that it was in permanent marker, but other than that, everything was quite calm. You spent most of the day with Yoongi in his room, listening to some of his ideas for BTS’ future album. You always felt privileged when Yoongi opened up to you about his music. You always talked to him about deeprooted issues, but there was a certain fragileness to Yoongi when he talked about his music. He was very humble, which only made it more impressive when he finally showed you his ideas.
Jungkook asked you if you’d like to grab dinner with him, and the two of you went to a restaurant together. Again, neither of you mentioned what had happened last night and you were surprised at how relaxed and fun he was. How can he just ignore it? How can we spill love confessions and have sex and kiss in the night and still be perfectly fine and chill the next day? The two of you ate dinner, joking and talking about everything there was to talk about. After dinner, you went to the park to feed the ducks with some bread you had bought at a grocery store. The conversations were lighthearted and you continued to feel very comfortable in his company.
As it became dark, both of you agreed that you should go home. At home, you watched a bit of anime until everyone deemed it time to sleep.
You couldn’t sleep that night. You felt Jungkook’s sleeping breath beneath you, but no matter how much you tried, your inner doubt would always keep you up. You decided to give up, picking yourself up from the bed and going to the living room. As you entered the room, you saw Yoongi sitting on the balcony. Your brows furrowed, wondering what he must be doing there in the middle of the night.
“Yoongi-ah?” You opened the door.
“Y/N? Why aren’t you sleeping?”
“I can’t sleep…”

He patted the spot on the bench next to him.
“Yeah? Let’s talk.”
You sat down and he threw half of the blanket on top of your legs so that you were both covered.
“I had sex with Jungkook last night.”
He almost choked as you said it, his eyes widening in shock. You figured you were right when you thought that they were all too drunk to notice.
“What? Y/N, oh my God… What will Taehyung say? Do you still like Taehyung? Fuck, what the hell?” He whispered, but not in a judgmental way. He was genuinely worried, exactly as you were. You felt your skin tighten and your eyes water as your worries were confirmed.
“I don’t know how I feel! I’ve liked Taehyung for so long now, I still get the exact same feeling when I look at him as I did the first time I saw him. I’m so mad at him though, whenever I picture him inside my head my fists clench up and I want to punch him for leaving me and for texting me asking me if I was with Jungkook. That’s the only thing he’s texted me, you know? It’s been over a month, oppa. A month and he hasn’t talked to me or responded to my calls or texts, but as soon as he saw me wearing Jungkook’s sweater, he texted me within minutes asking me if Jungkook and I were a thing. But he wasn’t even just curious, he was jealous! How do you get jealous of someone if you can deal with not talking to them for over a month? If he can just leave me alone in Seoul with people I barely know, how can he possibly earn the right to be jealous? And I love his stupid face and if he came back now, I’d still be unsure of what to do.
Then there’s Kookie, the guy who’s always been there for me, who took me in the night of Taehyung’s leaving. Who’s slept on the floor because of me, who’s cuddled me and brought me everywhere with him during this time. It’s like, when I’m with him, all my worries evaporate. When I’m with Jungkook, there’s nobody in the world but Jungkook. His body is familiar to me, his laugh is familiar to me, I swear if I was standing with 1000 people, I could still pick out his breath. But if I truly, wholeheartedly loved one of them, I would forget the other, right? I mean, it’s like that quote, if you love two people, choose the second one, ‘cause if you truly loved the first one, you wouldn’t have liked number two – or whatever. You know, Johnny Depp. But I haven’t forgotten Taehyung. I haven’t even kissed Taehyung yet. And even if, by some chance, Taehyung came home with a grand love confession, I couldn’t just choose him now. Surely, I’d be able to excuse my kiss. But I’ve had sex with Jungkook. I’ve done the one, most intimate thing with Jungkook. He probably wouldn’t even take me.”

You sobbed as you looked over the Seoul skyline, leaving Yoongi speechless. After a silent pause, he grabbed your hand and held it on his lap.
“You can’t sit around and wait for Taehyung to gather up the courage to ask you out forever, little one. I’ve known Taehyung for very long now, and he’s not a bad person. He’s an idiot at times and too shy about his emotions for his own good, but he’d never purposely hurt you. Neither would Kookie. Either way, there’s no need to rush into any pain now. What you have currently is Jungkook and as long as you are honest with him about your doubt and as long as you aren’t using him, you shouldn’t feel bad for having fun with him. And if it so happens that your feelings for Jungkook grow deeper and you wish to be with him, I’m sure Taehyung will understand. And vice-versa. Even though the three of you have a fucking weird love-triangle going on right now, we are all first and foremost your family. And you don’t ever back out on family. Does this make sense?”
You sniffled and dried your eyes with the free hand. Despite his cluttered words, you knew what he meant and you knew he was right and that made it all so much worse. You didn’t deserve these people at all.
____


The next week or so went by smoothly. Jungkook and you hadn’t talked about having sex, however the occasional intimate kiss in the middle of the night would still occur. He continued to buy you boba and take you to amusement parks and museums, and you still had the often-occurring movie night with the rest of the boys. You didn’t know if Jungkook considered the two of you to be dating, but you knew that he felt that you hadn’t forgotten Taehyung. He didn’t want to push you into anything, so he thought it’d be best if he remained quiet and let you figure it out yourself. Almost two months had passed since Taehyung left, and you still thought of him. Even if you were just sitting in the kitchen with the other boys, your eyes would travel down to hallway to his door. You didn’t cry as much, though. You had let all the overwhelming feelings out and now you just felt empty. Like a part of you was simply missing. Until Jungkook would look at you or drag you closer to him or grab your hand. Then the whole world would stop and the only two people in that world would be you and Jungkook.
You were playing Mario Kart with Jimin when you heard someone enter through the main door. You didn’t pay it much attention, but when you realized all the boys were home a panic grew in your stomach. You paused the game and the two of you turned around. It was Taehyung. 4 months early.
“Tae!!!” Jimin screamed as he got up from the couch and jumped on him. Taehyung’s laughter filled the room and his boxy smile blinded you. Though he was hugging Jimin, he was looking at you. Neither of you knew how to act around each other. Last time he wrote you, he was mad. However, he left you first, so you were mad. And he had ignored you. How do you react to this?
“You’re home?” were all the words you could form.
He sighed in relief and smiled shyly as he put his bags down. “Yeah, it wasn’t for me.”
You nodded, still sitting across the room in the couch. Luckily, both of you were saved by the undeniable awkwardness when Jin and Namjoon overheard Taehyung’s laughter and entered the room.
“Taehyungie!” they both exclaimed, running towards him to hug him. Yoongi followed shortly after, then Jungkook. You remained seated in the couch, eyes glued to the floor. Through your lashes, you could see Jungkook standing in the doorway, looking at you to check if you’re okay. You watched them all greet each other as Taehyung explained why he didn’t like the school and why he was home early. After a good half hour, he excused himself by picking up his bags and telling the others he was going to unpack.
“Oh, yeah – I’ve been sleeping in your bed, Taehyung, I’ll just get my sheets off.” Namjoon picked himself up from the chair.
“What? Why? Were you missing me that much?” He jokingly replied.
“No, but Y/N’s been sleeping with Jungkook, so I just slept in your room instead.”
The tension grew and silence emerged. You could feel Taehyung stopping in his steps and furrowing his brows. He didn’t reply after that, and the anxiety in your stomach grew as you looked towards Yoongi. He looked equally as worried as the corners of his mouth lowered and face tightened.
It had been hours and you hadn’t moved from the couch. The whole group was situated next to you and around you, while Taehyung talked about the states and what the school was like. You didn’t say anything and he tried not to look at you, however you’d catch him staring every now and then. You didn’t know what to do. Telling them you’d be going home after 2 months of living with them as soon as Taehyung came would indicate that you were there because he was gone. Staying there however, would mean sleeping in Jungkook’s bed with an angry Taehyung in the next room. You felt horrible.
You left the room and sunk into the pile of pillows on Jungkook’s bed.
“Are you going to apologize to Y/N?” Yoongi asked Taehyung, when your sudden exit left the room quiet.
“For what? She was clearly fine.”
“She’s been a mess since you left, hyung…” Jungkook mumbled, looking at the floor.
“She was sleeping in your bed, wearing your clothes. The two of you seemed great to me.” Taehyung’s voice got sharp and it cut through the tension like a knife.
“Tae. We invited her in and have been taking care of her for two months now, we all slept in their room for the first month or so, so she wouldn’t feel sad.” Jin tried to calm him down, speaking in a relaxed manner.
“The fuck do you have to be mad about anyway? You left her alone in Seoul with people she didn’t know in the middle of the day, ignored all of her calls for two months. You never called her, you never texted her. You never even told her you were leaving in the first place.” Yoongi spewed, clearly aggravated by Taehyung’s attitude.
Taehyung, unable to reply, stood up and left to go to his room. He slammed the door and threw himself on the bed, noticing how his Nick from Zootophia plushie was on the floor, squeezed disproportionate with leftover makeup on his face. He knew that it must’ve been you.
A guilt flushed over him, realizing how sad you must’ve been during those two months. He wanted to talk to you so bad and apologize, but it was as if the cat got his tongue. He just lied on the bed for hours and hours, trying to pick up the courage to talk to you.
You came out your room when Jin called for dinner, noticing that they had only made room for 7.
“How about Taehyung?” you asked, scanning the room for him.
“He won’t be eating tonight, it seems. Sit down.” Jimin patted the seat next to him.
You sat beside him and ate with the rest, knowing that Taehyung was alone in his room. You barely ate and you were quick to go back to the room. Nobody really dared bothering you today, knowing how hard this must be on you. Relatively late in the evening, someone knocked on the door of the room. You figured it must’ve been Jungkook wanting to go to bed.
“Come in!” you shouted through the door.
“Hey.” Taehyung stood in the door, looking down on you sitting on the floor with your notepad. You looked at him in response, not being able to say anything. He was shifting in his place, clearing his throat numerous times before stuttering
“Do you want to go for a walk and talk things through with me?”
He sounded timid and despite his tall figure, he looked so small standing there.
“Yeah… give me 5 minutes.” You mumbled.
You changed into your own clothes, putting on your coat and boots, putting your phone in your pocket. On the way out, you saw Jungkook looking at the two of you from the couch.
“Where are you going?” he asked curiously, a sadness growing in his eyes.
“Just to talk, I guess.” You looked at him, trying to send him a reassuring smile.
You left the dorm and walked through the dark to the nearest playground, where you found a swing set that you both sat on, each on your own swing.
“I’m sorry, Y/N… I know I’ve messed up.” Taehyung mumbled as he nervously shifted in his seat.
You didn’t reply nor look at him, waiting for him to elaborate.
“I wanted to tell you, you know? I wanted to let you know that I was leaving and that I’d be gone, but mostly I wanted to let you know that I was falling for you… And because I was so fixated on this grand love confession, I didn’t gather the courage to say anything at all. The school was fine. It was great. But every night I’d lay in bed and I couldn’t live with myself knowing that you were here, not knowing how I felt about you. So I had to come home.”
While you felt the butterflies grow in your stomach, you also felt the tears pooling in your eyes.
“If that’s how you felt, why did you ignore me? Why didn’t you pick up a single call in two months?”
He sighed.
“I was ashamed. I was a coward, I know. Fuck, I messed up Y/N… and getting mad at you for wearing Jungkook’s shirt, fuck I’m horrible. I’ll understand if you do-“
You felt a sob nearing, interrupting him before you broke down.
“I didn’t just wear Jungkook’s shirt…”
The tears were rolling down your face now, feeling every pain you had felt the last two months at once.
“What?”
You could hear his voice getting timid.
You didn’t reply, your breath interrupted by sobs and whimpers of apologies.
“Y/N, what did you do?” He tried to sound sturdy, but his voice was shaky and you could feel him choking up as he realized what must’ve happened while he was gone.
“I didn’t know how you felt, Tae…” You played with the sleeves of your jacket as they caught all of your falling tears.
“Did you kiss him?” he whispered shakily, making you sink into your knees as you realized that what you had done was much worse. If he began crying knowing you had kissed someone else, you didn’t want to think about how he’d feel when he knew you had had sex with Jungkook.
When he noticed your head falling to your knees and your sobs getting louder, he wasn’t sure if you were confirming a kiss or if it was worse.
“You didn’t… sleep with him, did you?” he tried to sharpen his voice.
A pause.
A nod.
“You slept with him!?” he yelled as he got up from the swing.
Your sobs got louder and you didn’t dare to look at him. His breathing became unsteady as he choked and began crying.
“How could you do this to me? I’m gone for two months and you have sex with someone else? What, if you can’t have one BTS member, you’ll just take the other?!” his voice was loud and angry, and he yelled through his sobs.
And then you switched. Having him imply that this had happened because you wanted someone from BTS or implying that you were easy turned your sadness to anger. You felt the same rage you felt when you received his text message spread through your fingertips and you stood up.
“You left me! You left me alone with strangers, you left me for what I thought was gonna be six months, Taehyung! You ignored me, I tried so hard to reach out to you! If you would’ve just told me, I would’ve waited for you, I would’ve waited forever had I just known that you liked me! But you didn’t. You didn’t tell me anything. You just left. And I stayed here and loved you. I still love you. So much, Taehyung. So much that having sex with Jungkook still couldn’t take my mind off of you. But you have no right to be mad.”
He didn’t have the courage to talk through his sobs, he just sat down on the swing again as he buried his face in his hands. You stood in front of him, your sobs turning into quiet whimpers.
“I’m gonna go home, Taehyung. I’m sorry.”
And so you left.
Home.
___


A week had passed since you last spoke to anyone from BTS. A lot of your clothes were still at their place, along with some books, your computer and your notepad. None of the members had left you alone besides Taehyung, all continuously calling and texting, especially Jungkook. He would text you in the middle of the night as well, letting you know that he had trouble sleeping without you. You didn’t want to ignore him. Or any of them for that matter, you just felt ashamed. Ashamed that you had dragged 6 amazing boys into your own drama. The days were dull and you didn’t do much else but watch Korean dramas on TV all day, barely eating or getting out of the house. Was this the end of your friendship with BTS? Had you ruined it all forever?
A knock on your door made you jump out of your seat as you picked yourself up to answer it.
It was Yoongi, carrying food and a bottle of Soju.
“You’re awful for ignoring me, you know that, right?” he smiled, handing you the food and booze.
You smiled sadly and apologized.
“I’m sorry, Yoongi-ah…”
“We need to talk.”
Since it was summer, you decided to eat on your balcony, enjoying the sunset view whilst downing the Soju and devouring the food.
“Jungkook and Taehyung haven’t spoken in a week. They fought so much when Tae came home that night and since then, they barely look at each other. Practice has been so fucking awkward, dude. The worst part isn’t even that they’re mad, the worst part is when our crew turns on the camera, they are so quick to turn into the best friends for the fans. Then the cameras turn off, and they squirm off each other and go back to ignoring each other. It’s scary.”
You looked at him and took a big sip from the bottle as you heard about them.
“I don’t know what to do.”
He took the bottle from your hand, taking a sip as well.
“You need to choose. You can choose neither, if you want. But you need to choose. And you need to come back to the dorm, the house is really empty without you…”
You poked at your food in response.
“And hey… don’t ignore Jungkook. I understand that it’s hard, but he has been the only one in this love triangle that never wronged you. He doesn’t deserve it.”
You knew that he was right, and reached out for the bottle again.
“I’m awful.” You said, as you took another sip.
He smiled at you and patted your knee.
“You’re fine.”
“Do the guys hate me?”

“What? No, they understand you perfectly. They talk about you all the time, teasingly scolding Taehyung and Jungkook for being the reason ‘they can’t have nice things’. Especially Hoseok is really going at them. Jimin has been a little quiet since you left, feeling stuck between the two youngsters. Jin and Namjoon are trying to hold it all together for the group, but especially Jin is being super melancholic everytime he cooks a meal he knows you like.”
You smiled and felt the tears pooling, realizing how much you missed them.
“I have to choose then, huh…”
He looked at you and let out a sigh.
“Yeah. You really do.”
You took the last sip before getting up.
“So I will.”

____

Wow, you made it!! My plan for this is to make two alternative ending, one in which the reader chooses Jungkook and one in which the reader chooses Taehyung  - since I don’t know who I’d choose myself. Send me your feedback and tell me who you’d choose in this scenario!

- little sister

Supergirl Merch

Drabble gift for @supercorpppp


Kara sighs.

Lena looks up at Kara questioningly but doesn’t say anything quite yet.

Kara’s next sigh is longer and sadder.

“Kara, honey,” Lena murmurs, “is something wrong?”

“It’s just,” Kara pauses before mumbling, “there’s not much Supergirl merchandise.”

Lena has to stifle a laugh, “So that’s it, huh?”

Kara narrows her eyes, “Lena, it means something to me.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry…Kara!” Lena doesn’t finish as Kara stalks off in anger.

Lena shakes her head at herself before getting an idea.

The next day, Kara can’t help but smile at the sight of the new SupergirlPhone being sold by L Corp.

When you are hurting, there will always be people who find a way to make it about themselves. If you break your wrist, they’ll complain about a sprained ankle. If you are sad, they’re sadder. If you’re asking for help, they’ll demand more attention.
Here is a fact: I was in a hospital and sobbing into my palms when a woman approached me and asked why I was making so much noise and I managed to stutter that my best friend shot himself in the head and now he was 100% certified dead and she made this little grunt and had the nerve to tell me, “Well now you made me sad.”
When you get angry, there are going to be people who ask you to shut up and sit down, and they’re not going to do it nicely. Theirs are the faces that turn bright red before you have a chance to finish your sentence. They won’t ask you to explain yourself. They’ll be mad that you’re mad and that will be their whole reason alone.
—  My favorite part of inkskinned new poem. :)

spiraju  asked:

Fever

NaruHina



“Is Himawari going to die, Dad?” Boruto asked, leaning in a bit too close to his sister. 

Naruto pulled at his arm, and moved him off to the side. “No, she’s not going to die. She’s just got a fever. And I would stay away from her until she’s better, you don’t want to get sick do you?” He raised a brow, cocking a smirk at his son while he shook his head furiously as he backed away until he eventually left the room.

From the bed a throat aching cough came, followed by a strained small voice. “So does this mean I can’t go outside and play?” She was frowning now, a deep pout that lowered her lip and made her eyes big. 

Naruto knew this look, it was the same one she used to get him to give into her. She may look innocent, but he knew, as well as Hinata, that she was a devious little girl who used her cuteness to get what she wanted. They suspected Hanabi to be behind this. 

As much as Naruto wanted to say yes, he couldn’t. Hinata would kill him if she found her outside in this condition. So he shook his head, tucking the blanket up to her chin. “I’m sorry, but there will be no playing until my sunflower is one hundred percent better.”

“Not even if I’m ninety-nine percent better?” She gripped the sheets, pulling it up closer, hiding her mouth, which made her eyes look even sadder and his heart ache. 

“Not even then.” He kissed her forehead, chuckling. 

Himawari sighed, closing her eyes and wrinkling her nose at him. “I’ll get better really, really fast! And then I’ll be able to play with brother and everyone else again!” She was getting excited now, and a fit of coughs erupted from her mouth. 

He waited for her to be done coughing before he spoke, his words gentle. “You’ll definitely be able to play with everyone when you’re better. But you got to promise me something.”

“What?” She asked, eager to know. 

“You have to promise you’ll take your medicine when Mom gets home from the store. You have to be a big girl and do it, can you do that, for me?” Himawari didn’t like taking medicine, she hated anything that had to do with health, like check-ups and shots. It was something she got from him.

She didn’t say anything for a few minutes while she rocked it around in her head for a little bit. Then she held out her fist weakly, a thumb going up. “I promise!” 

He gave her his best “dad” smile while placing a hand on her forehead. “Good! Oh, I think you’re fever’s going down, I bet if you go to sleep, it’ll be gone by the time you wake up.”

“Really?” There was excitement in her voice, and the reality of playing outside not to far off. 

“Really, really. So you’d better get some sleep then.” He started tucking her in while she settled into the sheets.

“Yeah, I’ll be better…when I–I wake up.” The excitement and fever were taking over now, making her eyes close and her breathing deepen. And just like that she was sleeping soundly. 

Naruto leaned down, pressing his lips to her hot forehead again. “Goodnight my sick little girl.”

If you come into a movie having heard too much about how “it’ll make you cry” or “it’s heartbreaking,” it seems likely that your judgement will be reduced to a dichotomy of “did it make me cry or not?” And there’s nothing sadder than that for both a creator and a viewer. So I’d like to have some way of blanking out my head before watching a movie.
—  Fafoo
THE ROOMMATE (CHAPTER 5)

Oh my gosh just over 100 followers!!! You guys are amazing :) here’s chapter 5 of The Roommate for you, i hope you like it as much as I loved writing it up.

*1184 words

————————————————————-

“Floppy? What you doing here?” Caspar asked once he had brought his bottom jaw to line up with his top. He slightly ran and walked up to me with a massive grin on his face, I opened my arms and he grabbed my waist slightly picking me up and bringing me into a giant hug.

“I came earlier to surprise you” I answered by whispering into his ear.

“I missed you so much Floppy, you don’t know how much I’ve wanted you to be here with me the past few days” he whispered back in my ear. As he said those words I could hear from his voice that he was becoming sadder with every word. We finally pulled apart and looked at each other, he wore a massive warming smile and I’m sure that my face mirrored his. He looked behind me and waved, turning my head I found Zoe and Joe looking at the both of us, Zoe with a smile and Joe with a sad face and red puffy eyes.

“Casp? Can you help me with getting my bags out from the back of Zoe’s car?” I asked turning my head back towards Caspar. He nodded his head enthusiastically and walked towards the front door, on his way he walked up to Joe and gave him a hug of comfort ‘maybe they’ve talked it out?’ I thought. I then followed behind Caspar waiting for them to finish their hug.

Once Caspar had moved out of the way and Joe was free I walked up to him an placed my hand on his shoulder giving him an understanding look and trying to comfort him, he looked at me and I tear escaped from his eye I moved my hand to wipe it away from his cheek and gave him a sad smile. Joe returned the smile and I turned to walk away but I felt a hand grab my wrist and pull me towards its culprit, I then found myself wrapped up in muscular arms and my arms immediately wrapped around the strong frame of Joe.

“If you ever need to talk to someone I’m here” I whispered in his ear.

“Thank you Y/N” a small voice replied quietly. “I know that we don’t know each other that well but I feel that in the time you’re here we should try harder in getting to know each other. I’ve wanted to get to know you for a long time but we’ve never had the time whenever you’ve been here.” Joe explained. I pulled away from him slightly to look into his once blue eyes that are now red and puffy.

“I know exactly how you feel Joe I’ve wanted to get to know you better too” I told him. I pulled out of his grasp completely and turned towards a shocked looking Zoe and Caspar. “What?” I asked the both of them. Zoe shook her head slightly and gave me a small smile making me frown slightly. Caspar opened the front door and signaled for me to walk out first.

I walked out the door and Caspar came out after me closing the door behind him. I started to walk down the stairs towards the front of the apartment complex when I heard a slight cough, I looked behind me and found Caspar standing there with a look asking ‘what was that all about?’

“Look Caspar I have no idea what that was about, honestly there is nothing between us. I know that you would kill me if anything happened between the both of us, thinking that we would both just leave you.” I explained.

“You know and he knows that fact. Why do you think that whenever your left alone together I quickly grab you or him to do something, it’s because I don’t want you two together.” He told me with a slight harshness to it.

“Caspar can we please not talk about this right now, I just got here and I don’t want to start off with a fight about myself and your roommate.” I stated with a sad tone.

“Your right, I want to catch up with you and spend some time with you, once we get your luggage from the back of Zoe’s car.” He replied. We walked out the front of the apartment complex and I walked straight past Zoe’s car. I looked behind me and found that Caspar had stopped at Zoe’s car and was looking at the car and then at me with curiosity on his face, I smiled at him with a cheeky grin.

“I want to go do something first!” I yelled slightly because of the distance between the two of us, he turned and started to walk towards me still with a face full of curiosity. Zoe and I had the thought of me taking Caspar out for Pizza as a surprise and not telling him where we were going, so far its working but I just need to keep my lips sealed.

“Floppy where are we going?” Caspar asked after walking for about 3 minutes. This was the 10th time that Caspar had asked where we were going and I replied with the same response as I had the past 9 times.

“I’m not telling you Caspar” we turned around the corner and I saw the sign of one of Caspar’s favorite Pizza places. I walked forwards towards the crossing lights and pressed the button to tell the machine I wanted to cross over the road, Caspar came up beside me and looked over to me asking with his eyes ‘where are we going?’ I just stood there and shook my head looking at him, the lights then started to beep fast and we were able to cross the road. Once over I turned towards the pizza shop and walked towards the front door opening it to let Caspar in first and then me, when I turned to look at Caspar’s face I found that his eyes had grown bigger and he was jumping excitedly like little boy that had just been given a new toy.

We walked in and stood in line looking up at the board to find a pizza each. Caspar turned towards me and gave me a side hug saying thank you for bringing him to get a pizza for lunch, I laughed and moved towards the cashier who was taking orders. I told her Caspar’s order and my own order I pulled out my purse to pay and handed over the money needed, Caspar and I then found a spot to sit down and started catching up on what we had missed about each other’s lives. We had a great time having a laugh about something one of us had said, it was wonderful to be able to catch up with Caspar, but I couldn’t help but think of how Joe was feeling at the moment and if he was alright. I mean that’s why Zoe was there so he could talk to Zoe about what he wanted to, but is he really feeling OK?

Live Show Music - Dan Howell

Requested by @weaknessmgc

“Hello internet!”

You sat outside your boyfriend Dan’s bedroom door as he started his liveshow, speaking to his millions of fans. You rested your head against the door and smiled to yourself as Dan spoke to his large audience, occasionally talking about you. All of Dan’s fans knew who you were as you had done a few videos with him for his YouTube channel, but you rarely went on his liveshows. You would sit outside his bedroom and just listen, because Dan comforted you even when he wasn’t speaking directly to you.

Dan read through all the comments people were saying, and answered questions one by one. You giggled at his jokes, as you shared the same sense of humor. Suddenly one comment caught your attention as Dan read it out.

“Can you please play the piano?” he read out. Your ears perked up, because you knew that lots of people asked this but Dan never played for them. He was amazing at the piano, and you told him constantly. However Dan didn’t play songs for anyone, only you on rare occasions.

“Haha, okay then,” you heard Dan say, and you were shocked. Was he really going to play? He was live to the world, and he’s just said yes. You sat up and pressed your ear against the door so you could hear clearer. 

“I’ve just learnt how to play a new song, because it is actually my girlfriend’s favorite song,” he said. You gasped. You could hear him making his way over from his desk to the piano. You heard him place his laptop down on the top of piano and then sit himself down in his ‘butt chair’, which was exactly what it sounded like.

He pressed a few keys to get ready and warm up, before he spoke again. “You know what? I might get Y/n in here to help me,” he said. You froze, as Dan called out your name for you to come. You sat there, not knowing whether or not you should go in or not. Finally you decided that what did you have to lose, and you got up and opened Dan’s bedroom door.

Dan turned his head to look at you and smiled. You nervously smiled back as you grabbed a chair from the other side of the room and pulled it up next to his in front of the piano. “Hi guys,” you said, awkwardly waving. The comments started exploding with excitement, everyone happy to see you again. You looked at Dan and blushed.

“I just learned how to play Trouble Stripped by Halsey, and I thought maybe you’d like to come in and sing?” he said. You looked at him with worry, because you had never sung in front of a big audience before and you were filled with dread. Dan always told you that you were an amazing singer, but you always kind of brushed him off. You could sing okay, but you would only do it in the shower or just around the house. Not professionally.

For some reason you nodded, and a big grin spread across Dan’s face. “Let’s go,” he said, placing his fingers on the piano keys. He played the first notes, and you began to sing the first verse.

Would you bleed for me?

Lick it off my lips like you needed me?

You finished the first words and glanced up at the laptop, where comments were already flooding in about how good you were, and how amazing Dan was. You smiled to yourself as your eyes drifted back down to the piano keys.

Would you sit me on a couch with your fingers in my mouth?

You look so cool when you’re reading me.

You couldn’t help the large smile that was spreading over your face as you sang your favorite song with your boyfriend, who played it so well. He was such an amazing musician, and you loved him so much.

Let’s cause a little trouble.

Oh, you make me feel so weak.

I bet you kiss your knuckles,

right before they touch my cheek.

As Dan started to play the chorus, you felt overwhelmingly happy, even though this song was a sadder song. You loved Dan so much, and you couldn’t believe you’d found someone so amazing like him. You understood each other so well, and you just couldn’t ever hate each other. Not even when you had your small fights would you feel hatred towards him.

But I’ve got my mind, made up this time.

Cause there’s a menace in my bed,

Can you see his silhouette?

Can you see his silhouette?

Can you see his silhouette?

And I’ve got my mind, made up this time.

Go on and light a cigarette,

Set a fire in my head,

Set a fire in my head, tonight.

Suddenly Dan turns his head to you and stares at you. You mumble over the song lyrics as he slows down his playing, and you stare at each other for a short few seconds before he leans his head forward and kisses you. He attaches his lips to yours and he slowly lifts up his hand to hold your cheek. You stay like this for a while, falling in love even more before Dan pulls away. His lips hover only millimeters away from yours as he smiles. Then he looks up towards his liveshow and smiles. The comment section is exploding as people freak out about the kiss and music. You blush as Dan brings you onto his lap, and you spend the rest of the liveshow answering questions together, the whole time holding tightly onto Dan’s hand, you fingers intertwined… 

Click on my Heart - Chapter 57

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [38.5] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [43.5] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [50.5] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [Chapter 56] [Chapter 57] [Chapter 58 - Final]


A lot can happen and lives will change.

Keep reading

Preference #3 - You have stretch marks and he finds out you're insecure. (Malum)

Warning: This contains a sensitive topic about insecurity, so if you’re not comfortable with reading these type of things then i suggest you not continue reading.

Requested? yes.

A/N: I just want to let everyone know that you are beautiful, If you are unhappy with yourself, just stop. Be confident with who you are, smile, and just be happy. You are the way you are for a reason, and you should not depend your happiness on others. Be happy and love yourself, love your flaws and your imperfections because they are what make you up and all of you are amazing. Remember that I love you and if you ever need anything my inbox is open, I’m here.

Michael: You and your boyfriend were having a lazy day, it was just you and him in your apartment. Michael was sitting down in the couch watching TV and you were laying down with your head on his lap just on Twitter.

“Hey baby we should go to the beach tomorrow or something.” he told you.

You never enjoyed going to the beach because that meant you were going to have to wear a bikini, and you were extremely insecure of a couple of stretch marks you had on the side of your tummy.

“No, i’m good Michael. But if you want you can go.”

”Really?” he said sarcastically.

“Yeah i’ll just go hang out with Y/F/N or something.”

“No seriously. I meant really as in why don’t you ever want to go to the beach with me? Literally every time I ask you, you always say no and it gets me mad.”

You picked your head up away from Michael’s lap and looked at him.

“I don’t know, ok? I just don’t feel comfortable Michael, I’m sorry.”

You stood up from the couch and walked over to the restroom, you suddenly felt so terrible that you couldn’t hold in the tears, and you certainly did not want Michael to see you cry. You got to the restroom and closed the door and you made your way towards the mirror. You looked at yourself for a couple of seconds and then pulled your shirt up to where you could see your stretch marks. You felt disgusting, and tears started rolling down your face.

“Baby” you heard Michael’s voice. You looked over at him and felt so stupid.

‘Fuck, I forgot to lock the door.’ you thought to yourself. You quickly put your shirt back down and looked at Michael.

“What” you said.

“Baby” he said once again, but this time he made his way towards you. He held your face and wiped the tears that were rolling down your eyes.

“You’re perfect, Y/N. You really are babe. You are literally the most beautiful, sweet, and intelligent girl i have ever known. You know what else I think is beautiful?  Those little stretch marks in your tummy. You want to know why? Because I am in love with everything that makes you, i love everything about you, I hate knowing you feel uncomfortable about your body because in my eyes it’s perfect. If only you saw yourself the way I did baby. Now stop crying, because when you’re sad I feel even sadder. I love you so much ”

At that moment you realized how you had found the most perfect and amazing guy. You felt so amazingly joyous and lucky. You placed your head against Michael’s chest and said “I love you more babe. He grabbed your face once again and kissed your lips. “No, that’s impossible.”


Calum: You were at home laying down in your bed while scrolling through Tumblr on your laptop. Suddenly you hear the front door open and you hear footsteps make their way upstairs to where you were. You knew it was your boyfriend, Calum, so you really didn’t make a big deal about it.

“Babeeee.” Calum said while storming into your bedroom.

“Hi Calum.”

“Guess what?” he laid down beside you.

“What?” you looked over at him.

“I bought you something while me and the guys were at the mall.”

“Really? Let me see?”

He stood up and grabbed a bag he had put down on the floor when he went into your room. He took out some mini little shorts and showed them to you.

“Look baby I bought you these because you usually never wear shorts and I bet you look so hot! So yeah, here go put them on and see if they fit.” he handed them to you.

“Oh no Calum i’m not wearing these, they’re too short!”

“But I spent $25 on them baby”

“I don’t care, they’re too small and they will most likely show my-” you quickly stopped before finishing your sentence.

“Show your what? Y/N?”

You didn’t answer Calum, instead you just started thinking about the scars you had on your thighs that you were always insecure about so you just continued scrolling through your tumblr.

“I asked you a question.” he said.

“Ok.”

“So that means I need an answer.”

Without thinking you just said “I’m insecure, Ok Calum? I’m insecure about my legs, I have a lot of scars and I hate them so much, that is why I never wear shorts or anything that will show them. There, I said it. Now leave me alone.”

Calum didn’t leave you alone though, instead he laid beside you once again and wrapped his arms around you while placing his head on top of yours.  

“ Y/N. Your perfect baby. I don’t give a fuck about these scars, you’re perfect to me. You don’t have to wear those shorts if you feel uncomfortable, in fact I’ll go return them If you want, but I don’t want you feeling down please baby.” He held you even closer and kissed your head. “I love you.” he said.

You looked up to him and placed a tender kiss on his lips, “I love you too Cal, thanks for understanding.

I made Malum for this, but i will most certainly create Lashton and i will post it as soon as I’m done. Thank you for reading and I’m so sorry if this is long. If you would like me to create anything specific or if you have any questions just go here. 

anonymous asked:

prompt (if you're taking them): mickey interacts with the gallaghers while ian is depressed.

I made his a lot sadder than you probably intended me to.

We’re His Family

“Mickey?…Mickey,” Fiona tries to get the dark haired boy’s attention. Mickey zoned out a few minutes ago. Not intentionally.

“Mickey.” Fiona is saying again more firmly. 

Mickey shakes  his head and looks at her. 

“It’s been 10 days… We have to do something.”

Mickey is breathing heavily. Fiona searches Mickey’s eyes. 

“Has he eaten anything at all?”

Mickey looks up at her briefly then back at the floor. “No…not really.” Mickeys eyes are red rimmed maybe for lack of sleep, maybe from tears, but probably a little of both.  “This will help him,” Fiona grabs the tired boy by the shoulder to keep his attention on her. It’s just them. She thought of bringing Lip too but felt Mickey might’ve believed they were teaming up on him or something. “I mean has he spoken to your at all? Said anything?” Mickey snivels and wipes at is eyes quickly. He shakes his head no. Fiona nods. “This isn’t helping him at all. I promise you they can.” Mickey is still trying to look anywhere but Fiona’s face. “I tried-” he cuts himself off and then turns to his bedroom.  “Some things we can’t control or help. As much as we want to"  Mickey is still looking in his darkened bedroom. “Okay,” he says quietly turning back and looking up at Fiona. “Okay.” he barely gets out again. He walks over to the couch and sits on the edge of it. Folding his hands together and staring at the floor.  Fiona smiles at him sympathetically and dials a number on her phone.  She talks into it a few minutes. Mickey siting still, idly biting his dried lips as he shakes his head in disbelief at the situation and thinking that he’s failed Ian.  "They’ll be here in a few minutes,” Fiona says putting her phone away. “This is the best thing for him. I promise.” Mickey nods. “Can I-,” Mickey points to his room. “I probably won’t get to see him. Not family.”  Fiona opens her mouth to correct him but instead smiles back at him “Of course.”  Mickey walks slowly to his room. Ian was sleeping…sort of. Mickey moves his hand through Ian’s hair like he did the day this depressive shit started. There was so much Mickey wanted to say in the few minutes they had.

I miss you. Get better. I love you. But all he could say was “I’m sorry.”  Mickey pulls his hand away and walks over to sit with his back against the wall. He watches Ian, eyes slowly opening but still distant, blankly staring, avoiding Mickey. “I wish,” Mickey starts. I wish you could get up. I wish you could say something. I wish this was just some fucked up dream. I wish you could just fucking look at me. He doesn’t say any of that. “This is so fucked up.” He says instead, hiding his face in his folded arms.  Eventually he hears a knocking on his front door and Fiona opening it. He hears some hushed whispers and Fiona appears in his door frame. Mickey gets up from his spot against the wall and walks over to Fiona who goes over to Ian.  “Hey. It’s Fiona. Ian?"  Ian’s eyes slowly shift to her, taking her in.  "Hey,” she starts again slowly, “There’s some umm nice guys here. They’re gonna take you to a good place."  Ian weakly shakes his head, “What…” "They’re going to take you to a place that will help you.” Ian buries his head further into his pillow “N-no” Fiona looks up at Mickey who quickly looks away. “It’s okay. It’s a nice place. I promise.” “Don’t wanna go.” “Ian…” Ian wraps the covers around him tighter and looks away from Fiona. Fiona looks up at Mickey again and gives him a look asking him to signal the guys in his living room.  Mickey clears his throat looking out at them. That doesn’t get their attention too well. “Hey,” Mickey says to one of them a little out of his room. He gets the other guy and the both approach Mickey’s room slowly.  “Ian, come on.” Fiona tries to pull the sheets away from her brother.  “Not going"  "You have to.”  The men walk closer around to Fiona’s side but still not in Ian’s eye-shot.  “I wanna stay,” Ian says causing Mickey to look up at Fiona desperately. “You can’t stay.” Fiona tries to say softly.  “I want to stay here,” Ian sobs.  Mickey is about to try to reason with Fiona who shakes her head at him sadly. Mickey looks so distraught Fiona wants to wrap her arms around the both of them to comfort them but she can’t. It wont do any good anyway.  One of the men clears their throat, “Ma’am?” Fiona nods and breathes in. She stands up and leans over Ian, kissing him softly on the head. She walks away to stand by Mickey and the two men take her place.  They talk to Ian quietly, who starts crying, begging them not to take him.  “Mickey? Where’s Mickey?” Ian asks. When there’s no answer Ian starts to panic. “I need to see him,” he says desperately.  “I’m-,” Mickey’s voice cracks. “I’m right here,Ian.” Mickey moves closer to the bed. Ian turns to him, seeing him for the first time in a little over a week. “Please? Mickey, Please.” "…I…,” he looks behind him at Fiona and turns back to Ian “I can’t.” .  Ian looks up at him and swallows hard. He looks down closing his eyes, squeezing them tightly as tears steam down his face.  “I"m sorry,” Mickey kisses his forehead, “I’m so sorry.” He moves away from Ian slowly, pulling Ian’s arms away from him as Ian grabs him in a desperate attempt to get him to stay.  Mickey stays there momentarily watching the guys gather Ian up to get him to come with them,knowing they’d get him to come willingly or not since he was deemed  a danger to himself. “I can’t fucking do this,” he says before he leaves his room.  Wailing is heard out of his room for awhile. Mickey lost track of the clock by the time he saw the two guys supporting Ian and leading him to the door. Fiona thanked them and stayed back. She closed the door softly and turned to Mickey whose face was hidden from her view but she could tell by the way his shoulders were shaking how he was dealing.  She walks over to him.  “You did the right thing” she says sitting by him. “Yeah? Doesn’t fucking feel like it.” “It will.” She says warmly. “When he gets better. You’ll know.” Mickey rubs his temples. “He’s gonna hate me.”
“No… He’ll understand.” Fiona wipes away at her eyes and gets up quickly. “Should probably let the others know."  Mickey dips his head understanding.  "Hey. I’ll uhh let them know of Ian’s distant cousin that may want to visiting him when he’s allowed visitors.” She hopes Mickey understood what she was getting at. "Yeah? That’s good. Fiona shakes her head. “Yeah. His name’s Mickey.”  He looks up at her confused.  "We’re his family, right?” She smiles at him and then he understood.