this was so much fun to make man

What is a story you have been dying to tell?

When I was 15 years old, I ran away from home because I was pissed off at my parents for a reason I cant remember. I didnt have much money, so I decided to hop onto the skytrain(public transport train in British Columbia) and ride it as far as it would go. I reached the end of the line in less then an hour, and decided I wanted to ride it all the way back again, while trying to formulate some kind of plan of how I wanted to live the rest of my life without my parents or anyone. At the last stop, or the first stop depending on your perspective of it, a girl came on and sat in the row right behind me. I didnt pay much attention to her at first, as I was busy writing my life plan on a napkin. It was a few minutes later that she got up and came sat next to me, curious as to what I was writing. I told her the story, and after a few laughs, we began talking about everything and anything. Her name was Amanda, 17 years old, and absolutely wonderful. She told me she was getting off at the last stop, which was also the first stop, depending on how you look at it. It was also the stop I had gotten on originally, and I told her we would ride to it together. The train ride took less then an hour, and what a wonderful hour indeed.

When the last stop did come, we both knew we probably wouldnt see each other ever again(this was before the days of cellphones, and I was a shy little kid afraid to make moves). As we got to the end of the sidewalk which split in two different directions, she went right and I went left. Before saying goodbye she turned to me and asked me a question that has become a wonderful part of my life; she asked me, “Tell me something you have done, or want to do, that you think I should do? It can be anything, as challenging as you want it to be, or as easy. As long as you give me the rest of my life to complete it, I promise I will do it..” I was confused as to why, but I thought about it, and told her, “Sing a song acapella in a room full of strangers.” She said perfect and asked me if I would like a challenge as well. I told her I did, and she told me, “read, from start to finish, “Ulysses” by James Joyce.” I had never heard of it at the time, but I agreed, and we said our goodbyes.

I have a awful memory, and cant remember most conversations I have with most people. But I remember all of that clearly. You know why? Because of the challenge she gave me. In the 12 years that have past since, I have tried to read that book in over 150 different sittings. Everytime I open my copy of the 780 page monster of a book, I always think of her, and I always think of that day. Ive never been sure if it was her intent or not, but she left her lasting memory on me with that challenge. I soon after learned what she did, was a completey wonderful and amazing thing for me. So I decided to keep it going. Ive met a lot of strangers in my life; some that have become friends, and some, due to living in different time zones and whatnot, didnt. I dont want to just have experiences and then let them go. I want to remember these meetings, and embrace the fact that they happened. So whenever I leave someone who has left an amazing impact of my life, I always make sure to add them to my Ulysses Bucket List. I ask them to give me a challenge, as difficult or as easy as they want it to be, and regardless of the fact that they have done it or not; simply something their heart has had wanted to do.

Some have been easy and fun; I met a man in India 9 years ago who told me to, for a week or a month, cook/buy twice as much food as I intend on eating, and give the other half to a stranger in need. I completed that mission 8 years ago, and thought about that man and the time we had all the way through. I met a girl on a cruise 6 years ago, who told me to jump into a body of water on a slightly cold day, without touching or feeling the temperature of the water first. I did that the very same year. I met a couple at an outdoor music festival a few years ago that told me to wear the most bizarre outfit imaginable and walk through a public place, completely oblivious to the fact that you arent looking normal. I did that task the very next day, at the same festival. Some have been difficult, to say the least: three guys I met in Amsterdam and smoked all night with, told me to go to a mall and give 10 strangers 10 presents. That one took a lot of courage, but I did it a year or so after I met them. It was nerve racking, but at the same time exhilerating leaving my comfort zone. A girl I met on a plane told me to sky dive; Im still in the process of getting that done. A couple I met in Cali on the beach told me to tell the 5 people I hated the most, that I love them and respect them. That one was very difficult because of my stubborness, but ive come close to completing that list many a times(still in the process, 2 more people to go).

And some things, have had an everlasting impact on my daily life. I met a girl at a music festival, who told me that whenever I get mad at someone, walk away, sing my happy song in my head for 5 minutes, go back to the person im mad at with a clam heart and mind, and work things out. Ive made this my way of life. I once met a man at a gym in a hotel I was staying at, that told me “whenever your body and brain tells your that you are exhausted and done…use your heart instead and push out 2 more reps.” Ive made this my motto when working out or working on any kind of extrenuating exercise in which my body demands me to quit. I also use it while working on anything, and while studying. One of the best pieces of advice ive ever received.

There are many others that each brought joy to my life. There are still many tasks I have yet to accomplish, and everytime I think of these tasks, I think of the people that gave them to me. It amazes me how well I remember all these people, while I cant remember so many aspects of even yesterday. These experiences, not only do I take from them a “mission” or a “challenge”, I also take from them a memory of them that never fails to appear inside of my mind. I opened my Ulysses book for probably the 300th time yesterday, and read a few pages, which prompted me to share this story with you today. Im in the final 30 pages of the book, also known as the most dreaded of the read(in the last 40 pages or so, James Joyce doesnt use a single punctuation mark; no periods, no commas, no nothing; a straight 50 page run-on sentence).

I never saw Amanda after that day, nor do I know if she ever did get a chance to sing a song to a room full of strangers. But what I do know, is that she gave me a gift that has never once stopped giving. So wherever you may be, thank you for giving me the Ulysses Bucket List. And I swear i’ll finish it one day. My life advice? Simple: Create your own Ulysses bucket list.

*SHOVES DRE INTO THE 1920′S*

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 4

It’s amazing to see how much we can create together, my amigos. Here’s part 4.

  1. “Look, I might be evil but even I have standards.”
  2. “Do your parents know you’re dating Death?” “No, I promised we wouldn’t get back together after he broke up with me the first time.”
  3. “Wait why am I naked and covered in cheese?”
  4. “Good god, that cake is fuckin stale and dry mate!!” “Just like how you are recently? Gee, thanks.”
  5. "There is always time for a high-five.”
  6. “Karen, what would ever posses you to find me here.”
  7. “Oh my god, put that man down! Come on, let’s go get you some REAL food.”
  8. “A demonic sugar glider?”
  9. “People always say they never thought they would be here but I absolutely did.”
  10. “And I thought I was a bit weird. But you! You are insane!”
  11. “So your hair knows kung-fu? Ha, that’s nothing! MY hair knows HAIR-ATE!” (You know, as in karate) (This used to be an insider between me and a friend…)
  12. “One day, darling, you and I are going to conquer the Universe not just our world.”
  13. “Did you seriously think they wouldn’t notice when their humans went missing?!”
  14. “Well, maybe next time you should consider that not everyone wants to be woken up at four in the morning by a- what IS that, anyway?!”
  15. “Now, how exactly did your foot get stuck in the barrel?”
  16. “I hope you realize what you’re doing. This forest never ends, you know that, right?”
  17. “You can’t just kill someone and then make it all better by saying sorry!”
  18. “Why the fuck is my cat levitating?!” “He said he wanted to feel what flying was”
  19. “You’re trying to tell me you killed three men…with a microphone?”
  20. “Hang on, are you a John Wick fan?”
  21. “IT’S TWO IN THE MORNING!” “And?” “ I have a strict no murder rule until eight. Call me then.”
  22. “I did realize you were going to be naked the whole time”
  23. “Ok, I understand you like animals, but you can’t just bring a tiger into the apparent without asking!”
  24. “I…I didn’t want you to find out like this. I’m so sorry.”
  25. “OH MY GOD CATHERINE! I JUST SAW A NARWHAL! I’M TELLING YOU, I SAW A FREAKIN’ WHALE UNICORN!”
  26. “I gotta go, I left my toaster in the oven!
  27. "Why is there a gaggle of fancy buisness men on my front lawn?”
  28. “Can you please stop referring to me as ____! That’s not my name!” “Then what is?” “I don’t know!”
  29. *Sarcastic* “Yeah, sure. I won’t at all mind being your footslave.” “Oh, goody! I knew you’d agree!” “Wait, what?”
  30. “When are you going to give up on this whole ‘evil’ thing?” “When it stops being so much fun!”
  31. “You didnt say to KILL the man!” “WELL I DIDNT SAY NOT TOO”
  32. “Mum, Dad… I’m gay.” “That’s nice, honey, but now is not the right time!”
  33. “Take a look at your soul and consider your life choices! Oh wait, that’s right! You don’t fucking have a soul!” “Oh, god, just go drown in a bathtub of syrup why don’t ya?”
  34. “I kindly ask you to please quit making your heart stop. It’s creeping me out!” “So… Y-You were sleeping in a coffin” “Yeah I’m used to it” “Are you a vampire or what?! How can someone get used to sleep in a coffin?” “No I’m used to sleep I never said that I’m used to sleep in a freaking coffin!”
  35. “Darling I love you, more than I can ever express in words…. But please stop teaching chickens necromancy.”
  36. “I wanted to know why you stole souls, not your melodramatic backstory…”
  37. “I really wish that old white man would stop rubbing his nipples at me”
  38. “You know it is written: Do not summon Satan, right ?”
  39. “Look around, what is this?” “My room?” “No, this is pathetic.”
  40. “I’ve been a professor for 20 years, and yet still my greatest secret hasn’t been revealed–I can’t read.”
  41. “Our souls don’t belong in these 'human’ bodies, every one of us is implanted here from another galaxy, and this has been the case for a thousand years. No one knows what 'actual humans’ are like without us inhabiting them.”
  42. “Did you just create a portal in time and space to pull another version of yourself into this world so I have to deal with another annoying idiot?” “No but thanks for the idea.”
  43. “You’re bleeding?!” “Nah, I’m frolicing in a field of flowers - yes I’m bleeding!”
  44. “Let me get this straight. I tell you that I make a decent omelette and you somehow equate that to qualification for piloting a spaceship?”
  45. “It’s the weekend! Let’s hit the town! See a concert, redo our wardrobes, get high, start a crime ring, I don’t know.”
  46. “Keep running, you’ve only got 4HP!”
  47. “This is clearly your first time. Stop screaming already, you’ll wake the neighbors!”
  48. “Has anyone seen the outdoors?” “What the fuck is an outdoors?”
  49. “Why do I feel like this again, I thought we were done with this?”
  50. “Look, as much as I like to hang out with you, I’ve gotta go and save the earth. Toodles!”
  51. “Have you seen?… oh shit”
  52. “Two questions: one, how many matches do you have, and two, where do you keep your socks?”
  53. “Because fuck surveys, that’s why!”
  54. “Stop yelling out the window or the koalas will rip your face off!”
  55. “I guess when I heard 'Night of Debauchery’… I didn’t picture muffins on your pajamas.”
  56. “Honey, you can’t keep throwing people to the pit of pain and despair just because they don’t like choc mint ice cream.”
  57. “Oh, no honey, put that back…”
  58. “It’s going to be too late, you know. It’s always too late.”
  59. “Hey, so, uh… I’m in trouble…” “What did you do this time?” “I got stranded in Wales….. again…”
  60. “OK, but… how do we get the dog out of a hole in space in time exactly?”
  61. “Aren’t people supposed to grow instead of shrink ?”
  62. “Wait. You’re aroused?” “Why would that surprise you?” “It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
  63. "I pay your taxes”
  64. “No, ____. We did not raise our hamster like this.”
  65. “You can’t run from your own shadow(s), what makes you think you can run from theirs?”
  66. “You adopted… a dog?” “Mate, that’s not a dog.”
  67. “And at this moment, he decided to punch himself in the face.” “Narrator, listen, I know you’ve been with me my whole life, but you’re a huge jerk.”
  68. “Why didn’t you tell me it was a portal BEFORE we ended up here?”
  69. “Is that…the Mona Lisa.” “…Yes…” “What did I say to you about stealing priceless artifacts!?” “…That I had to take you with me next time.” “Exactly!”
  70. “Yes, I agree, magic is pretty cool. But did you really have to use it for THIS?”
  71. “Despite the fact that was epic, you’re still suspended”
  72. “Chill, dad it’s not what you think it is!” “Well it looks like you’re making out with the demon your grandma banished to cellar…WHY IS HE IN YOUR ROOM?”
  73. “If you truly love me you’ll let me-OH FUCKING HELL DID YOU JUST STAB ME!?”
  74. “Spoon”
  75. “What began as a conflict over the transfer of consciousness from flesh to machines escalated into a war which has decimated a Million worlds.The ___ and the ___ have all but exhausted the the resources of a galaxy in their struggle for domination. Both sides, now crippled beyond repair, the remnants of their armies continue to battle on ravaged planets, their hatred fueled by over four thousand years of total war. This is a fight to the death. For each side, the only acceptable outcome is…“
  76. ”… I’m going back to bed. You brought it here, you can deal with the mammoth yourself.“
  77. "Is the food supposed to be moving?”
  78. “You mean to tell me that in the two minutes I was gone,  you bombed a minor country,  got married to a stripper,  and assassinated a world leader?!”
  79. “Is that a unicorn???? EATING MY BEEF JERKY?!”
  80. “Do I get to dream about you again tonight?”
  81. “Well now I have to change clothes AGAIN!”
  82. “All of this was because of a… OF A PLUSHIE?!” “Well…Yeah?” “Great, how are we going to get out of jail now?!”
  83. “So…you gonna tell me why my brother is upside down and why you’re wearing my purple thong?”
  84. “Did you really have to burn down another Cracker Barrel?”
  85. “Sir, that’s impossible, you can’t do that.” “IS THAT A FUCKING CHALLENGE?!?!”
  86. “We need to invade Portugal.” “…Sure, why not?”
  87. “Did you divide by zero?! YOU’RE GOING TO KILL US ALL”
  88. “Stand down, Milady, this is a matter between gentlemen with mustaches.”
  89. “Next time you get arrested I am NOT paying your bail” “That’s a lie and you know it.” “….”
  90. “I thought you were dead.” “So did I”
  91. “John dont flush the dog down the toilet”
  92. “What did I say again about resurrecting dictators??”
  93. “Cucumbers are NOT pets… what do you mean, you ate him??”
  94. “Are you and God seriously fighting right now? And what happened to Satan?”
  95. “Are ferrets supposed to be blue??”
  96. “I’m the protagonist? Well I guess that explains why I look like about a thousand other people.”
  97. “Why do I do this to myself?”
  98. “Stop eating your tortilla chips with ketchup. It’s unattractive.”
  99. “How do you eat an entire cheese wheel in one sitting?”
  100. “Why are God and Satan moving in with us?”

Let’s make one more ‘100 Dialogue Prompts’ list together. Leave a comment with your prompt below. Don’t forget the double quotes “”. And as always, only one prompt per amigo! Also, here is your random Dutch word of the day: pindakaas

GAME GRUMPS SENTENCE STARTERS. 

  • ❝ God, what if we just fucked one day? ❞
  • ❝ Don’t sass me in front of the internet. ❞
  • ❝ Follow your stupid fucking dreams. ❞
  • ❝ Come at me scrub lord, I’m ripped. ❞
  • ❝ I just wanna have sex with space. ❞
  • ❝ Get in the tub with me, daddy. ❞
  • ❝ Will you just relax and let me kill for money? ❞
  • ❝ That sounds like your problem. Fuck you. ❞
  • ❝ Stay in school. Don’t do drugs. Eat your teeth. ❞ 
  • ❝ Make like a tree and fucking die. ❞
  • ❝ Dude just…just pity laugh at least. ❞
  • ❝ Man, Club Penguin’s gotten weird. ❞
  • ❝ We are like the Stephen Kings of stupid. ❞
  • ❝ Why do you enjoy watching me suffer so? ❞
  • ❝ Do I have to jerk you off to blow your mind? ❞
  • ❝ I haven’t had so much fun since I killed my parents. ❞
  • ❝ Unfortunately I had sex with a guy/girl over the weekend. ❞
  • ❝ What’s a vegetarian zombie say? GRAAAAAAAINS.
  • ❝ Revenge is a best dish served fuck you. ❞
  • ❝ Who wears pants anymore? So 2015. ❞
  • ❝ I need an ice cream sandwich and a gentle blowjob. ❞
  • ❝ Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya. ❞
  • ❝ The bananas has gone bad! ❞
  • ❝ I cared for those bananas! I raised them with my own two feet! ❞
  • ❝ Did you know I’m a professional joke? My life is a joke. ❞
  • ❝ What if everyone just had constant helicopter dick? ❞
  • ❝ [ name ], does getting me wet fill you with determination? ❞
  • ❝ I can’t prove that someone ISN’T a reptilian. ❞
  • ❝ Wouldn’t it be funny if, like, you lost a family member? ❞
  • ❝ These balls are coming at me fast and furious. It’s like that movie, ‘Speed’. ❞ 
  • ❝ Call me One Direction ‘cause my relevancy is dropping by the day. ❞ 
  • ❝ One time I killed a person and I didn’t report it to the police. ❞
  • ❝ I wanna take a girl to the Grand Canyon, fuck her, and throw her in. ❞ 
  • ❝ Nothing like a gunshot wound to the face to really mellow someone out. ❞ 
  • ❝ If I can’t be the best, I sure as hell can be the worst! ❞ 
  • ❝ [ name ], I’m on a date with a guy/girl right now and you’re embarrassing me. ❞
  • ❝ I’ve made a decision. I’m gonna in the kitchen, gonna open the dishwasher, and I’m gonna climb inside. ❞
  • ❝ I do apologize for my actions, even though they were totally and completely justified. ❞
  • ❝ I could pee on this couch, right now, no problem, while looking you directly in the eyes.❞ 
  • ❝ Look, you tell a couple jokes as a dad and suddenly everyone’s like ‘you’re making dad jokes.’ ❞
  • ❝ All of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are blue, except for three of them. And there are four. ❞ 
  • ❝ And Abraham said unto Moses, ‘Bro, dude, aliens.’ ❞
  • ❝ I’m gonna throw you out the window. We don’t even have any windows in this room…I’m gonna carve out a window and throw you through it. ❞ 
  • ❝ DO IT YOU SACK OF SHIT! – Sorry. That didn’t come out as encouraging as I meant it to. ❞
  • ❝ [ name ], if there’s one thing I can be totally honest about, it’s that I would happily lie to your face.❞
  • ❝ If I took pole-dancing, I would be worried that it would be too erotic for everybody else. ❞
  • ❝ Next time we make love, [ name ], would you please refer to me as your sweet cakey treasure? ❞   
  • ❝ I try to show at least one other human-being my butt hole every single day. ❞
  • ❝ The only people who don’t like sluts are the people who don’t get any. ❞ 
  • ❝ Have you ever though of a career in driving people fucking insane? Because you are already a PRO at it. ❞ 
  • ❝ I am actively looking for ways to get you to shut the fuck up. ❞
  • ❝ First of all, you have to stop calling it ‘Mary Jane.’ That’s the first rule of stonerdom. People will think you’re a fucking narc. ❞
  • ❝ First of all, no one says ‘pot-eyes’, you fuckin’ narc. ❞
  • ❝ If by OK you mean like on the inside I’m just going ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!’ then yes, I’m quite OK ❞
  • ❝ When you walk outside there are three elements of nature that you must avoid: snow, wind, and bees. ❞ 
  • ❝ Could you imagine if you unlocked outfits in real life? Like, “Congratulations you wiped your ass, here’s a new shirt.” ❞

y'all beronica at hogwarts will kill me tho like

  • baby slyth!veronica meeting huff!betty and immediately deciding she’s her person and fuck what the dumb talking hat says
  • ronnie getting sat down by her parents in her first year bc ‘u can’t just hex anyone who doesn’t like betty, honey’
  • veronica crying on betty’s shoulder and sleeping in the hufflepuff common room with her when her father gets sent to azkaban
  • ronnie getting upset bc she’s spent so much time with huffs that betty’s housemates aren’t even intimidated by her anymore
  • betty getting her first detention because she hexed a gryff who called ronnie’s father a criminal
  • alice cooper, poster woman for the slyth charity ball, hating that betty is a huff
  • veronica being forbidden from the cooper household bc of that one time she gave alice severe facial warts for calling betty a disappointment
  • betty staying with veronica’s family over summer break to avoid her mom
  • ronnie wearing a huff scarf to betty’s quidditch games and her housemates barely even caring bc they’ve come to just expect this shit from her now
  • slyth!ronnie and huff!betty basically just being such obnoxious ride or dies that no one is surprised when they finally start dating in their sixth year
~Masterlist~

Donate 
[To Do List]

Originally posted by t-yong

→ NCT as Horror Movie Character Stereotypes 

→ NCT as Teen Movie Characters

→ NCT as Mythical Creatures

NCT Patronus…Kind Of

→ NCT Drabble Game Masterlist

→ A-Z: NSFW | M | Series

• [Taeil] [Hansol] [Johnny] [Taeyong] [Yuta] [Doyoung] [Ten] [Jaehyun] [WinWin

→ A-Z: Daddy | Series

• [Taeil] [Hansol] [Johnny] [Taeyong] [Yuta] [Doyoung] [Ten] [Jaehyun] [WinWin]

→  The Virgins | M | Series
• so im sick of fake af smut in fanfics so heres some realistic sex stuff
→ [Taeil] [Johnny] [Taeyong] [Yuta] [Doyoung] [Ten] [Jaehyun] [WinWin]

► Reactions

  1. You cover their cherry bomb choreography
  2. Your gg covers their song (+ you’re the rapper)
  3. They’re in love w/ you; their best friend + Dreamies ver.

► Taeyong

Downtown Girl | bf!taeyong
•  dating rumors really suck

Bubble Bubble | hp!au
•  cuddles with hufflepuff!taeyong

Welcome Home | bf!taeyong
•  tired cuddles with tae

Will You? | we got married!au | Series
•  youre participating in wgm with taeyong, enjoy
→ [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

A New Day | vampire!au | M | Series
•  this happened because i saw the queen of the damned for the first time in years at 2am while i was drinking
→ [1]

Butterfly Effect | Series
•  every choice you make matters so…what do you choose?
→ [Prologue]

Don’t Think Twice | 60′s AU
•   diner workers dont get much more fun that strangers with stories

► Ten

Just One Drop | vampire!au
•  ten really needs to eat even if you have to force him 

Fallen | angel!au | M | Series
•  when you have a mangled and bloodied man on your porch what more can you do that…let him in the house?
→ [1]

► Johnny

There’s Something in the Water | water nymph!au
•  summer break + babysitting + strange dude what could go wrong  

Thieves In The Night | goblin!au
•  stuff just keeps going missing ft. taeyong

Two Sides Of The Same Coin | psychiatrist!au | M |Series
•  i call this the ‘liz cant stop reading dr. crane fanfic’ fanfic
→ [1]

Not All Can See | imaginary friend!au
•  what kid doesn’t conjure up an imaginary friend?

Forgive Me Father |  M |  roleplay!au 
•  halloween got a lil kinky oops

► Yuta

Just A Myth | merman!au
•  discover creatures of the deep blue sea

Why You Little… | bf!yuta
• yuta sucks at video games lol

In The Daylight | hybrid!au | M | Series
•  i watched the film theory  on the blair witch project and this happened. srry
→ [1]

Eyes On You |  M |  gang!yuta ft. 127
•  yuta has an interesting kink…

Call You | brother’s best friend!au
•  it happens to everyone dont lie

Snakes of a Scale Slither Together | hp!au
•  idk man. yuta x doyoung kinda sorta not really

Pretty Kitty |  M |  roleplay!au
•   i should just deactivate

Wet |  M |  domestic!au
•  i wanna play a game. it’s called ‘try not to slip and die in the shower’

► WinWin

Fresh Air Helps | bf!sicheng
•  summer night drives

A Helping Hand | afterlife guide!au
• death isnt the end and youre certainly not alone in it

► Doyoung

Knock Knock | creepypasta!inspired        
•  i ever mentioned i hate mirrors

Final Moments | reaper!au        
•  the only constant was him

► Mark

Found You | hybrid!au
•  happy hunting guys  

Hushed Whispers | shadow people!au
• sometimes stories you tell your kids kinda are true ??

Sweet As Sugar |  hp!au
•  last minute birthday fluff thingie

► Jaehyun

Protection | demon!au
•  sometimes a savior isnt on the side of the angels    

► Taeil

Sweetest Scent | hybrid!au
•  some scents just…sooth the senses  

I’m The One | psychiatrsit!au
• doctors come and doctors go, maybe you can get him to speak

► Haechan

Hands to Myself | idol!au
•  dancing is always easier with a partner

Far Far Away | bf!haechan
•  long distance relationship + skyping  

Those Who Watch | angel!au
• your only job is to watch and protect

Originally posted by blondejongin

► A-Z: NSFW

→ A-Z: NSFW | M | Series

• [Xiumin] [Luhan] [Kris] [Suho] [Lay] [Chen] [Chanyeol] [Baekhyun] [D.O.] [Kai] [Sehun]

Originally posted by soohuis

► A-Z: NSFW

→ A-Z: NSFW | M | Series

•    [S.Coups] [Jeonghan] [Joshua] [Jun] [Hoshi] [Wonwoo] [Woozi] [DK] [Mingyu] [The8] [Seungkwan] [Vernon] [Dino]

Originally posted by narinxexo

► A-Z: NSFW

→ A-Z: NSFW | M | Series

•  [Hyorin] [Bora] [Soyou] [Dasom]

► Hyorin

Lick The Icing Off | M | gf!au
•  birthday smut for my friend <3

Originally posted by hostoria

► A-Z: NSFW

→ A-Z: NSFW | M | Series

•  [Kyungil] [Dokyun] [Sihyoung] [Jaeho] [Yijeong]

Originally posted by monstaxmemes

► A-Z: NSFW

→ A-Z: NSFW | M | Series

•  [Shownu] [Wonho] [Minhyuk] [Kihyun] [Hyungwon] [Jooheon] [I.M]

Originally posted by stanbap

► A-Z: NSFW

→ A-Z: NSFW | M | Series

•  [Yongguk] [Himchan] [Daehyun] [Youngjae] [Jongup] [Zelo]

► A-Z: NSFW

→ A-Z: NSFW | M | Series

•  [EXY] [Seola] [Xuan Yi] [Bona] [Soobin] [Luda] [Dawon] [Eunseo] [Cheng Xiao] [Mei Qi]

► Soobin

Sunday Mornings | M | domestic!au
•   wjsn make me gay. lesbians. strap on. enjoy. 

Originally posted by shineemoon

► A-Z: NSFW

→ A-Z: NSFW | M | Series

•  [Onew] [Jonghyun] [Key] [Minho] [Taemin]

Originally posted by iljaes

► A-Z: NSFW

→ A-Z: NSFW | M | Series

•  [Eunkwang] [Minhyuk] [Changsub] [Hyunsik] [Peniel] [Ilhoon] [Sungjae]

Underrated animes I think the signs would love

I love every one of these animes tbh


Aries: Kekkai Sensen - 12 Episodes (2nd season of same length coming out Oct 2017)

Supersonic monkeys, vampires, talking fishmen, and all sorts of different supernatural monsters living alongside humans—this has been part of daily life in Hellsalem’s Lot, formerly known as New York City, for some time now. When a gateway between Earth and the Beyond opened three years ago, New Yorkers and creatures from the other dimension alike were trapped in an impenetrable bubble and were forced to live together. Libra is a secret organization composed of eccentrics and superhumans, tasked with keeping order in the city and making sure that chaos doesn’t spread to the rest of the world.

Pursuing photography as a hobby, Leonardo Watch is living a normal life with his parents and sister. But when he obtains the “All-seeing Eyes of the Gods” at the expense of his sister’s eyesight, he goes to Hellsalem’s Lot in order to help her by finding answers about the mysterious powers he received. He soon runs into Libra, and when Leo unexpectedly joins their ranks, he gets more than what he bargained for. Kekkai Sensen follows Leo’s misadventures in the strangest place on Earth with his equally strange comrades—as the ordinary boy unwittingly sees his life take a turn for the extraordinary.

Originally posted by pinkishrabbit


Taurus: Mushishi - 46 Episodes (2 seasons)

“Mushi”: the most basic forms of life in the world. They exist without any goals or purposes aside from simply “being.” They are beyond the shackles of the words “good” and “evil.” Mushi can exist in countless forms and are capable of mimicking things from the natural world such as plants, diseases, and even phenomena like rainbows.

This is, however, just a vague definition of these entities that inhabit the vibrant world of Mushishi, as to even call them a form of life would be an oversimplification. Detailed information on Mushi is scarce because the majority of humans are unaware of their existence.

So what are Mushi and why do they exist? This is the question that a “Mushishi,” Ginko, ponders constantly. Mushishi are those who research Mushi in hopes of understanding their place in the world’s hierarchy of life.

Ginko chases rumors of occurrences that could be tied to Mushi, all for the sake of finding an answer.

It could, after all, lead to the meaning of life itself.

Originally posted by macross


Gemini: Psychic Detective Yakumo - 11 Episodes

Haruka Ozawa’s sophomore year is getting seriously scary. One of her friends is possessed, another has committed suicide and Haruka could be the next one to flunk the still-breathing test. Her only way out of this potentially lethal dead end? Yakumo Saito, an enigmatic student born with a mysterious red eye that allows him to see and communicate with the dead. But the deceased don’t always desist and some killers are more than ready to kill again to keep dead men from telling any more tales. That doesn’t stop Haruka’s knack for digging up buried secrets, and there’s even more evidence of bodies being exhumed by both Yakumo’s police contact and an investigative journalist with a newly made corpse in her closet! Can this pair of anything but normal paranormal detectives solve the ultimate dead case files or will they end up in cold storage themselves? 

Originally posted by fl-uttershy


Cancer: Is this a Zombie? - 22 Total Episodes (2 Seasons)

Not every zombie is the monstrous, brain-eating type.

One night while walking home from the convenience store, regular high school boy Ayumu Aikawa is killed by a serial killer, and is just as suddenly brought back to life by a necromancer named Eucliwood Hellscythe. One small caveat: he’s now a zombie. Things get even weirder for him when he accidentally steals a magical girl’s uniform, and thus her powers! Haruna, the ex-magical girl, orders him to fight evil creatures known as Megalo in her place until they can figure out a way to get her powers back to her.

Originally posted by koritsu-shita-mura


Leo: Parasyte - 24 Episodes

All of a sudden, they arrived: parasitic aliens that descended upon Earth and quickly infiltrated humanity by burrowing into the brains of vulnerable targets. These insatiable beings acquire full control of their host and are able to morph into a variety of forms in order to feed on unsuspecting prey.

Sixteen-year-old high school student Shinichi Izumi falls victim to one of these parasites, but it fails to take over his brain, ending up in his right hand instead. Unable to relocate, the parasite, now named Migi, has no choice but to rely on Shinichi in order to stay alive. Thus, the pair is forced into an uneasy coexistence and must defend themselves from hostile parasites that hope to eradicate this new threat to their species.

Originally posted by 97mika


Virgo: Terror in Resonance - 11 Episodes

Painted in red, the word “VON” is all that is left behind after a terrorist attack on a nuclear facility in Japan. The government is shattered by their inability to act, and the police are left frantically searching for ways to crack down the perpetrators. The public are clueless—until, six months later, a strange video makes its way onto the internet. In it, two teenage boys who identify themselves only as “Sphinx” directly challenge the police, threatening to cause destruction and mayhem across Tokyo. Unable to stop the mass panic quickly spreading through the city and desperate for any leads in their investigation, the police struggle to act effectively against these terrorists, with Detective Kenjirou Shibazaki caught in the middle of it all.

Zankyou no Terror tells the story of Nine and Twelve, the two boys behind the masked figures of Sphinx. They should not exist, yet they stand strong in a world of deception and secrets while they make the city fall around them, all in the hopes of burying their own tragic truth.

Originally posted by nekoksyo


Libra: No Game No Life - 12 Episodes

No Game No Life is a surreal comedy that follows Sora and Shiro, shut-in NEET siblings and the online gamer duo behind the legendary username “Kuuhaku.” They view the real world as just another lousy game; however, a strange e-mail challenging them to a chess match changes everything—the brother and sister are plunged into an otherworldly realm where they meet Tet, the God of Games.

The mysterious god welcomes Sora and Shiro to Disboard, a world where all forms of conflict—from petty squabbles to the fate of whole countries—are settled not through war, but by way of high-stake games. This system works thanks to a fundamental rule wherein each party must wager something they deem to be of equal value to the other party’s wager. In this strange land where the very idea of humanity is reduced to child’s play, the indifferent genius gamer duo of Sora and Shiro have finally found a real reason to keep playing games: to unite the sixteen races of Disboard, defeat Tet, and become the gods of this new, gaming-is-everything world.

Originally posted by medusalily


Scorpio: Rurouni Kenshin - 95 Episodes 

In the final years of the Bakumatsu era lived a legendary assassin known as Hitokiri Battousai. Feared as a merciless killer, he was unmatched throughout the country, but mysteriously disappeared at the peak of the Japanese Revolution. It has been ten peaceful years since then, but the very mention of Battousai still strikes terror into the hearts of war veterans.

Unbeknownst to them, Battousai has abandoned his bloodstained lifestyle in an effort to repent for his sins, now living as Kenshin Himura, a wandering swordsman with a cheerful attitude and a strong will. Vowing never to kill again, Kenshin dedicates himself to protecting the weak. One day, he stumbles across Kaoru Kamiya at her kendo dojo, which is being threatened by an impostor claiming to be Battousai. After receiving help from Kenshin, Kaoru allows him to stay at the dojo, and so the former assassin temporarily ceases his travels.

Rurouni Kenshin: Meiji Kenkaku Romantan tells the story of Kenshin as he strives to save those in need of saving. However, as enemies from both past and present begin to emerge, will the reformed killer be able to uphold his new ideals?

Originally posted by nenecchi

+ 3 of the most badass live action movie adaptations

Originally posted by takeruandcaterpillars


Sagittarius: Nurarihyon no Mago - 48 Total Episodes (2 Seasons)

Rikuo Nura doesn’t want anything to do with evil youkai, and just wants a normal life. Too bad he’s a quarter youkai, and Nurarihyon, his grandfather, is insistent that he takes over as head of the Nura Clan. He’s able to keep his supernatural secret life hidden from his classmates, as he can only transform into a youkai at night, for six hours at a time.

Unfortunately for him, various youkai factions are out to target both his youkai and human friends, and like it or not, he needs to embrace his youkai side. Life is not easy when you’re Nurarihyon’s grandson

Originally posted by bambina97


Capricorn: Hamatora - 24 Total Episodes (2 Seasons)

The ability to create miracles is not just a supernatural phenomenon; it is a gift which manifests in a limited number of human beings. “Minimum,” or small miracles, are special powers that only selected people called “Minimum Holders” possess. The detective agency Yokohama Troubleshooting, or Hamatora for short, is composed of the “Minimum Holder PI Duo,” Nice and Murasaki. Their office is a lone table at Cafe Nowhere, where the pair and their coworkers await new clients.

Suddenly, the jobs that they begin to receive seem to have strange connections to the serial killer whom their friend Art, a police officer, is searching for. The murder victims share a single similarity: they are all Minimum Holders. Nice and Murasaki, as holders themselves, are drawn to the case—but what exactly is the link between Nice and the one who orchestrates it all?

Originally posted by hentaikohai


Aquarius: Trigun - 26 Episodes

Vash the Stampede is the man with a $$60,000,000,000 bounty on his head. The reason: he’s a merciless villain who lays waste to all those that oppose him and flattens entire cities for fun, garnering him the title “The Humanoid Typhoon.” He leaves a trail of death and destruction wherever he goes, and anyone can count themselves dead if they so much as make eye contact—or so the rumors say. In actuality, Vash is a huge softie who claims to have never taken a life and avoids violence at all costs.

With his crazy doughnut obsession and buffoonish attitude in tow, Vash traverses the wasteland of the planet Gunsmoke, all the while followed by two insurance agents, Meryl Stryfe and Milly Thompson, who attempt to minimize his impact on the public. But soon, their misadventures evolve into life-or-death situations as a group of legendary assassins are summoned to bring about suffering to the trio. Vash’s agonizing past will be unraveled and his morality and principles pushed to the breaking point.

Originally posted by heavycrumplt


Pisces: Gangsta. - 12 Episodes

Nicholas Brown and Worick Arcangelo, known in the city of Ergastalum as the “Handymen,” are mercenaries for hire who take on jobs no one else can handle. Contracted by powerful mob syndicates and police alike, the Handymen have to be ready and willing for anything. After completing the order of killing a local pimp, the Handymen add Alex Benedetto—a prostitute also designated for elimination—to their ranks to protect her from forces that want her gone from the decrepit hellhole of a city she has come to call home. However, this criminal’s paradise is undergoing a profound period of change that threatens to corrode the delicate balance of power.

Ergastalum was once a safe haven for “Twilights,” super-human beings born as the result of a special drug but are now being hunted down by a fierce underground organization. This new threat is rising up to challenge everything the city stands for, and the Handymen will not be able to avoid this coming war.

Originally posted by chunli

7

A Tennant/Tate Celebration 

Interviewer:  “You can’t stay apart.”
David:  “We can’t, no.”
Catherine:  “No, we tried.”

David:  “We’ve always enjoyed working together… specifically working together as well as hanging out.”

A gif-tastic update of this old post o’ mine

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happy 100th birthday, ella fitzgerald // april 25, 1917 - june 15, 1996 // “just don’t give up trying to do what you really want to do. where there is love and inspiration, I don’t think you can go wrong”

“The best way to start any musical evening is with [Ella]. It don’t get better than this.” Frank Sinatra

“Man, woman or child, Ella is the greatest of them all.” Bing Crosby

“Ella’s amazing! My daughter says that every time she makes a mistake, it becomes a hit record.” Lucille Ball

“It is so much fun to sing with Ella. It is so nice to sing with someone who does more than make a pretty noise.” Jo Stafford

“If you want to learn how to sing, listen to Ella Fitzgerald.” Vincent Minnelli

“The one radio voice that I listened to above others belonged to Ella Fitzgerald. There was a quality to her voice that fascinated me, and I’d sing along with her, trying to catch the subtle ways she shaded her voice, the casual yet clean way she sang the words.” Doris Day

‘Shiro ships are power imbalanced!’

You mean…

Shallura - In which Allura who smashed down a metal door with brute strength alone, and literally threw the man like a piece of meat? Both are young and forced into situations where they had to grow up before their time which is something they can sympathize and relate to with. Not to mention there’s a lot of things both us and Allura herself have yet to discover about her.
Fly Shiro, fly!

Shunk - They’re EQUALLY intelligent and Hunk is confirmed PHYSICALLY STRONGER and if he was more battle smart/fit, could actually wreck Shiro. Hunk would probably be the castle’s reigning arm wrestling champion! People seem to also forget Hunk isn’t a pushover, if something doesn’t seem right to him, he’s going to call shit out on it and would make sure something is done about it.

Shidge - Definitely has a power imbalance, look at this take-no-shit tiny nerd own Shiro on sheer intelligence alone. Pidge made a freaking functional satellite on her own out of random metal scraps just floating in space, and has killed a man Galra. No one is safe, not even Shiro.
I think it’s also good to point out that pretty much the majority of Shidge shipper DO NOT ship them at 14 and 25, so don’t give me any of that age shit. If you argue about why people make Pidge so small, fun fact: small people exist!

Sheith - Keith is a one man army, even when he got his arse handed to him by fucking spies with god only knows how much more battle experience under their belts, he’d keep going and fought on sheer tenacity alone and eventually figured his way out. Keith ain’t no delicate flower who’d bend over backwards just because he loves Shiro, the man has proven he’s willing to make sacrifices for the greater good, even if it’s going to hurt.

Shance - Granted it’s a bit hard to find evidence for (we’re only 2 seasons in, there’ll hopefully be more material for it in the future) but Lance has already proven to be very good at improvising and think quick in stressful situations, not to mention he ain’t their sharpshooter for nothing. Plus Lance is known for being a very social creature; he’d be insanely switched on when it comes to relationships, platonic, familial, romantic, or otherwise, and he clearly knows about self care especially from an emotional standpoint.

Can we please stop dismissing these characters quality traits just to shit on ships and treating them as if they were infants? And can we please stop slandering Shiro, the man has never done any abusive thing towards any of his teammates and would never do it willingly *coughcoughKurocoughcough*, and there’s more statements confirming he’s a teen than the supposed 25 so don’t even start. As I said, we’re only 2/8 seasons into the story, which means everyone on team Voltron is going to get development and grow in both their skills and as people; 6 more seasons of watching this group become terrifying forces of nature.

And if anything, if you want to protect anyone it should be this poor 4/5 year old. Baby’s been though enough already.

Being Tony Stark’s Daughter would include...

So this is my first kind of “would include” headcanon so let’s see if I do this right…it’s kinda long and i have no idea id this is what it woild be like so I just went for it xD

Tony Stark / Headcanon Masterlists


  • Actually turning out okay
  • Being the result of an old girlfriend– not really sure what happened to her. Tony never talked about her, you’re his main priority now. 
  • Not many people thought Tony would be able to handle a child, let alone one of the opposite sex
  • But he can actually be really chill
  • As a child he spoiled you so much, but he’s learned to calm down over the years
  • But when you want something you ask for it and he does the “on a scale of one to this will kill you if i don’t buy it” how badly do you need it?” but he usually almost always buys what you want. because stark.
  • You were exposed to the party scene very early on. The press was always interested in hearing from the perspective of Tony’s daughter
  • Pepper being your mother figure and her loving you even if you aren’t her own
  • You and Pepper hanging out when Tony is busy
  • She loves you so much
  • Tony calls a press conference? Pepper is there to watch after you. Tony has to save the world with the Avengers? Pepper keeps you in her sight to make sure you are okay
  • Oh man when he went missing in 2008, Pepper took you in because you felt safest with her without your father around
  • You were the most worried when he went missingIt was the worst time of your life, hearing your father was missing and presumed dead
  • Pepper came into the house one day “(Y/N)! HE’S BEEN FOUND! TONY IS ALIVE!”
  • Bursting into tears so quickly
  • Going with Pepper to see him when he arrived back and losing it even more when you actually got to hug your dad for what felt like the first time in forever
  • Tony being so relieved he got to hold you again, he didn’t know if it would ever happen
  • You basically forced him to tell you how he escaped meaning you learned so quickly about the Iron Man project
  • Spending so much time in the labs either just keeping company or helping
  • Trying to make your own AI since Tony has JARVIS why not try to make one yourself
  • Not actually doing too bad
  • Vacations were the shit because you could just hop on a private plane with your father and go wherever was decided
  • You basically forced him to tell you how he escaped meaning you learned so quickly about the Iron Man project
  • You wanting to build your own Iron Daughter suit but Tony freaking out that it’s too dangerous for you
  • “Then why do you do it? You’re my dad! It looks like so much fun!”
  • “It comes with a lot of responsibility, (Y/N), it’s not a toy.”
  • “So? I want to be like you! I look up to you and I want to do the things you do. I want to protect the world too, I can take care of myself.”
  • “I know you can…but I can’t risk it. I can’t risk losing you.”
  • And then you realize how much your father actually cares for you and you dropped the whole suit thing
  • [after the avengers becomes a thing] Having many ideas that you share with the science bros™
  • Bruce loves you because you can annoy Tony to death
  • Always pulling the “Steve would let me do that…” card to get Tony to let you do things
  • Meeting Peter and tony either loving him or “don’t touch my daughter, Peter Parker.”
  • The Avengers really is just one big family and they love you too
  • Never wanting the Accords to become a thing. Luckily, your young mind was able to talk sense into everyone and help them realize they’re being stupid the avengers can’t split up. someone go save the old russian soldier and everyone hug it out.
  • Tony and Steve still argue about everything, though, there is no getting out of that
  • “How do you deal with him?” Natasha asks you almost daily about your father
  • But there will always be the kind of sarcastic-loving-family relationship. 
  • Basically you are the glue for Pepper and Tony’s relationship and even though they took a break when the Accords stuff was happening, they got back together and you couldn’t be more happy
  • thats all ive got right now so xD
good kravitz quotes

aka: someone teach this man how to talk

  • “okay. okay. okay. listen. ……..okay.”
  • “you all…………….saved my bacon.”
  • “yeah. sup.”
  • [in a dracula voice] “I’VE GOT TO SWITCH MY ACCENTS TO TRICK MY PREY”
  • “i’m not so much interested in you just- murdering a bunch of fools”
  • “put somethin’ in ol’ kravitz’s pocket!”
  • “let me switch to my cockney card playing voice.”
  • “funsy-fun make believe!”

anonymous asked:

what apps would the losers have on their phones if they were in 2017 (besides instagram i think they would all have insta)

stan

- out of all the losers, stan would be the one to not care about the follower count on his insta. he just uses it to keep a record of all their great memories and put nice photos, and wouldn’t really care about keeping a consistent aesthetic.
- the others think he doesn’t have twitter because he “doesn’t want an app to tell him all the bullshit richie’s thinking 24/7”
- but he totally runs a shitpost spam account with like,, a lot of followers. makes his own memes for sure.
- probably has reddit and gets into debates with neckbeards
- one of those expensive tracking apps that acts as a planner and habit checker and reminder so he keeps his anxiety in check

ben

- definitely runs a poetry tumblr using a fake name and actually has a lot of notes on a handful of his writings. he doesn’t mind specifically about follower numbers because he started the blog as a journal for himself, but getting constructive criticism from other writers and positive feedback from his followers becomes super important to him! sweet boy!
- the most wholesome snapchat stories u ever seen… like just so cute and loving
- p i n t e r e s t ! making boards for saving recipes and poetry and nice pics to use as writing inspo
- insta that isn’t meant to be aes but lowkey is
- probably thinks twitter is a birdwatching app

bill

- definitely had a deviant art account with some … pretty cringey stuff on it from his preteen years, is probably still floating around the web to haunt him later. same with his old myspace
- he loves insta, and actually has a pretty good follow count and is lowkey an insta blogger. would die for his aes
- has a quiet tumblr with little diary entries and a handful of his fave calming pics to read through on sad days!
- has snapchat but 80% of the time only sends black screens with text on them
- lurks on twitter but rarely posts

mike

- FOLLOWS WERATEDOGS ON SNAPCHAT
- one of those workout apps that gives you healthy recipes and motivational reminders every day
- uses insta rarely but all his posts are 10/10 and so soft that he starts to enjoy posting a lot more
- that study app that locks down your phone and rewards every productive hour by planting a tree 
- “mike why didn’t you answer my texts for three days?”
- “I ACCIDENTALLY SET THE TIMER TO MAXIMUM AND I COULDN’T CANCEL IT OR MY SHRUB WOULD DIE”
- “mike we thought you were dead”
- “IT WOULD D I E, BEN”
- always sends cute little morning snapchat selfies of him trying out the new filters
- like videos of him looking confused with dog ears and when he opens his mouth to speak and the tongue comes out and he giggles and is like “oh!”

richie

- still has flappy bird because he believes the story that a phone with it installed is worth millions
- so many of those shitty free game apps that just spam you with ads and make you wait five hours between plays before you can progress
- one of those stimming apps! with colours and tapping exercises to fiddle with when his adhd acts up
- runs a twitter meme page for sure
- also had a personal twitter that’s literally filled with bullshit, as stan expected. those 3am posts like “every book is a remix of the dictionary” are plentiful, and a couple of them went viral when someone posted a screenshot on insta
- hates facebook a lot, but loves messenger and spams the gc by changing everyone’s display name every three seconds
- spotify on his bottom utility bar!! mixtape!au reddie is still in full force in playlist form ok
- s n a p c h a t ! ! !
- literally always updating his story to way more than the socially acceptable level but no one minds because it’s hilarious

eddie

- ada: your virtual doctor
- often typing in minor symptoms and scrolling to the bottom of the list to see the WORST CASE SCENARIO and freaking out. gets frustrated and deletes the app, and then re-downloads it. this happens at least once a week
- sleep tracker he uses religiously
- didn’t think he’d like insta but found it nice and relaxing to edit pics and as he gained followers he was! so happy?! my boy felt validated and put in so much effort for his aes my sweetie
- cute morning snapchats to richie (they have like a three year long streak)
- but richie refuses to accept lazy streak snaps that just are of his ceiling and have an “s” typed on them so eddie’s always taking “selfies” that are just his head under a pillow with his hair sticking up all over the place
- “eds thats cheating i want to see you properly”
- eddie sends a v v sleepy soft pic with his messy hair and half closed eyes and pouty face
- richie Thrives™️

bev

- def runs a notorious dark aes tumblr blog
- but also has one that she keeps more lowkey that has a really calm and soft aes where she posts little inspirational quotes and doodles and shares survivor stories and gives advice to sad anons
- one of those super popular pics of a girl smoking wearing an edgy hat or some shit floating around pinterest that are used in so many moodboards is probably of her tbh
- insta insta insta ! her feed is 10/10 goals but its really just lots of selfies and pics of her fucking around at night with richie
- lots of online shopping apps this girl has an addiction
- FUCKING ETSY MAN
- makes skirts and sometimes runs commissions for custom jewellery and stuff as a fun little side project


ty so much for requesting i honestly… had too much of a good time with this 

Where Every Brown Sugar Baby Should Look for Her Next Sugar Daddy and Why

The more the game changes, the more it stays the same.

     Best friend, my first disappointment with sugaring came when I realized that sugaring sites were not for me. When I joined Tumblr, I was surrounded by stories of women who signed up for Seeking Arrangement and within an hour found their inbox full of messages from men willing to hand them the world or at least a pair of So Kate’s on the first date. When I joined Tumblr, I thought that I was going to command large allowances just because I existed, not because I did any work. I learned otherwise.

     My successes with sugaring came when I got very clear about what exactly it was that I was sugaring for. I realized that I couldn’t make myself care about designer goods. They’re pretty, and I loved looking at them on Instagram but dating a man so he could buy me luxury goods just did not seem like a lot of fun. But art supplies? Everything I needed to write a novel and maintain my blog? That sounded much more feasible. As soon as I committed to it, it happened. As soon as I got off the sugaring sites, it happened.  

     As an introvert, I did get off the sugaring sites, but it took me quite a while to get off the internet. I used Tinder to find the three gift daddies that I had. Last month, I went free styling for the first time.   

     There is a general horror around free styling that, trust me, I understand. If I didn’t have to leave my house, I wouldn’t. But I realized a few things. The sugar sites are not set up for you to succeed. We, as sugar babies, are the draw that is used to attract men with money and unrealistic dreams.  

     Do you want to have the perfect relationship? A young, beautiful, smart woman who will hang off your every word and, unlike escorts, will be with you and you alone for a fraction of the price that escorts are demanding? Sign up for a membership with our site at the low price of $39.99/month and become a sugar daddy tonight!

     While this might not be the exact language the sites are using, I guarantee if you go on any of the sugar sites you will see something similar being touted to men.  I also promise that the men that have the real potential to be amazing sugar daddies and give you things you didn’t believe that you could get aren’t on these sites.
     

     And, honey, maybe you haven’t noticed but online dating-sugar or vanilla- is not set up for black women to succeed. I’ll say it once more. You’re far more likely to find the man you’re looking for when you let go of the sugar sites.
So what happens next? Next, you change your mindset. There is one thing that needs adjustment, your attitude, in two different areas. The first is what a sugar daddy looks like. Maybe you don’t have this problem. But I do. I tend to find myself thinking that sugar daddies look a certain way. They’re white and in their 40’s-50’s. Most of them are married. But this isn’t what sugar daddies look like. They can be any age. They can be any race. They can be anywhere. When it’s time to free style, don’t think that if a Black man, an Asian man, a Martian, whatever, approaches you that because they don’t fit in with the idea of what you think an SD looks like you can’t pay any attention to them.

     There will be three types of men that you’ll meet when you go out: cheap men that would like your time and attention for free, men that will simply ask how much you want or make it known that they have no problem paying you, and men that are willing to spend money on you but need some type of connection with you first. Ugh, connection. Don’t you hate that word? Men should just hand us money because we asked for it right? We’re young, we’re beautiful, we’re smart. Just fork over the coins.

     But consider this. How often do you give money to complete strangers because they asked for it? How often have you walked up to an attractive or interesting looking person with $5 that you know you don’t need and said: “here this is for you just because you look cool or like you needed a little help”? Never right? If we were a society where that was the norm homelessness would not be an issue. No, we give our money to people we like, to people that have bettered our lives in some way, to people we trust. But, still. That word-connection. Months and months of dates. Maybe even putting out. That must be what I mean, right? Nope. Not what I mean at all. A connection can be made in 15 minutes or 15 months. It really just depends on how well your personality meshes with his.

     How do you tell these men apart? Let’s build a scenario, shall we? Let’s say you meet a man at a bar. You each talk a bit about who you are and what you do for a living. His job sounds promising. You don’t know exactly how much he makes but when you google it in the bathroom after touching up your lipstick you see that it’s an acceptable amount. He buys you a drink to continue the conversation you’ve already started, but when the night ends, he doesn’t pick up the tab you had started before he sat down. Splenda! Salt! That’s what Tumblr will tell you. I say wait. You spend some time texting. He says he wants to take you out. This is when we find out what kind of man he is by analyzing a few things:


  • Where does he want to meet? TGIFridays or one of the best restaurants/bars in the city. Look at where he wants to take you and why. If he asks you where you want to eat and then shoots it down because it’s overpriced or “just not his scene” you have two options: dig your heels in or run. My first meeting with Bentley took some time to plan because he shot down the restaurants that I chose as not being good enough for a first date. It was a good first sign. 
  • How and what do they order? We know what a man who doesn’t want to spend a lot of money looks like when he orders at a restaurant or bar. He asks if there are any discounts or deals. Asks what’s the best and cheapest drink or food item on the menu. Makes “jokes” about how expensive everything is. 
  • How do they look when you order? A man that asks if you want anything else after you’ve decided what you want is a keeper. A man that asks what you want scans the menu and then asks if you’re sure you want those things or if you’d be happy with something cheaper presents you with two options: to dig your heels in or run.
  • What are they talking to you about? A man that talks about sex as soon as he meets you only wants you for one thing and it ain’t playing cards. Now, if he’s willing to compensate you for that time in a way that you find acceptable, fine. Get your money girl. If you want a man that cares about you as an individual but he can’t stop talking about how well he’s doing on Viagra, you have two options. Dig in or run. I suggest you run, but this is your life, not mine
  • Do they listen when you speak? Do they remember what you said? I got my first laptop from a man who listened when I talked about wanting to write. I got my second laptop and art supplies from a man who listened to my business plan. If they can’t hear you, they can’t help you. 

     When the date is over, look at this man’s behavior. You’ll know if he’s the type of man that you can keep in your life. If he isn’t, let him go. LET HIM GO! Don’t, please friend, don’t hang on to a man because you don’t think that you’ll be able to get another. This game isn’t for the desperate that need quick cash because their life is falling apart. This is going to take time. You’ll find yourself getting dressed up and going out quite a few times before you find a man that you’re willing to stick with. If you understand this from the beginning, that reaching any goal is going to take time, you’ll be far less likely to fail.

     I’d like to give one piece of controversial advice. Do not ask for a gift or token or whatever you want to call it on the first date. Remember what we talked about earlier? About how we don’t give away our hard earned money to strangers or the undeserving? This applies here. And I know, I know. The posts of girls that say they asked for a gift and got one is so much more fun to read than what I’m saying, but here we are best friend, here we are.

     You do have one thing on your side. Men know that it is their responsibility to take care of the women in their lives. Vanilla men know this. They know. I’m going to say it one more time, best friend so it really sinks in. All men know that it is their responsibility to take care of the women in their lives. What’s more, they know that the younger and better looking a woman is, the more they will have to spend. Your job is not to convince a man to spend money on you. He already knows he should. Your job is to separate the men willing to spend from the men not willing to spend by opening up your mouth and talking about what you want. Talk about college and the class that you’re going to be taking, but god isn’t it crazy how expensive books are? Talk about how much you love to write, but your laptop broke. Talk about how you want to get into digital photography but don’t know what camera to get or if you can afford to buy one. Give it a couple weeks. The right man will show up with a laptop, or an iPad, or a book, or a camera or whatever it is you say you need. The wrong man won’t have made it past the first date.

Happy hunting, best friend.

Best friend, be honest, what did you think? Do you think you could ever get off the sugar sites? Go free styling? Do you think my approach makes any sense or is something that could work for you? Leave me a comment and let me know so we can talk about it.

Guys My Age (3)

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Words: 4k

Warnings: Lap dance to rough Smut. NSFW gifs.

Anon asked “Can you please do a part 3 to ‘guys my age’ were Bucky asks reader for another lap dance”

A/N: The fic that started it all. I’m so glad people liked it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Let me know if you want to be tagged. Also, dominant/jealous Bucky is just wow. Let me know if you want to be tagged HERE or HERE. Go away kids! And please use protection y’all.

Part 1 Part 2

Keep reading

It’s done! It’s finished!

I had so much fun making this one!

I removed the background melodies with Audition, that’s why the sound is a little weird at some parts but I tried my best


Some people have asked me where some of the clips are taken from so here are the links to all of them:

Jack: Reading your comments #100 plus a short clip from I’m sick
Le Jack Septic 
Dr. Schneeplestein 
Chase Brody
Ą̷̛̰͇̜͕͙͔͕̤̦͚̞̈́͊̌́͌͊̎̐̇̈̌͆N̵̢̫̖͚͎̙̹̈̇̇T̷̛̛̞̲̼͓̩̳̯͌̒͗̉͒̓̋̕͘͜͠I̸̟̿̏̈́͘ͅ: Kill Jacksepticeye, and I’m sick (Pax intro) again
Marvin the magnificent
Jackieboy man

MBTI and an Escape Room

ISFJ: “No, no, no, no”

ESFJ: *crying and furious* “This is tearing us apart! Get it together people!”

ISTJ: *Says everyone is an idiot for trying the wrong thing- never offers his own solution*

ESTJ: “I would take over, but I like watching ENFJ fail at it.”

ESTP: “Wait guys, I got this” *does something stupid* *fails*

ISTP: “If you guys would just listen to me then I could get us out of here- ok no one is listening to me, that’s fine too, whatever”

ESFP: *completely oblivious to everyone’s stress* “This is so fun!”

ISFP: *mopping in the corner* “I’m just really tired, I don’t want to do this.”

ENFP: *simply talking and rabbit trailing about random possibilities* “Hey look at this! This is so cool! Oh that’s kinda creepy…what if-”

INFP: *super chill and relaxed* “Man, this is so much fun. Hey guys- we should try and scare ISTJ”

INFJ: *Thinks he knows how to get out but can’t talk because all the tension in the room is about to make him cry*

ENFJ: *Keeps trying to create order amongst the group, but gets too emotional to handle the responsibility* 

ENTJ: *Has already planned out which one of his friends he will have to sacrifice first*

INTJ: *Knows how to get out after discussing with INFJ* *Doesn’t tell anyone because ESTJ said some rude and they want to watch ESTJ fail* 

ENTP: “Hey guys, I know what will work!” *tries something complicated and stupid* *fails* 

INTP: “My goodness, I can’t believe you guys haven’t figured it out yet, it’s so obvious” *doesn’t actually know how to get out*