this was not a well thought out joke

Things I Didn’t Know Were Symptoms of C-PTSD
  • Getting overwhelmed in crowds
  • Getting upset or angry at a loud alarm
  • Ordinary nightmares (that have nothing to do with the circumstances, just stupid nightmares much more often than the average person)
  • Getting sharp pains in your back/neck/collarbones that make it hard to breathe (due to hypervigilance/constant high anxiety)
  • Learning that “high anxiety” does not mean “generalized anxiety” like other people have with panic attacks and not feeling that they can accomplish thing. PTSD anxiety just means this frenetic energy that makes you want to talk/think/do things (even as an introvert) to avoid stopping.
  • Feeling constantly bored like you have to chase after something, even if you’re just at home: I spend hours on tumblr, pinterest, watching tv, reading books, making art, never just laying there alone…because if you stop…the darkness is there
  • Thinking up stories before bed. This is a symptom of high anxiety because you’re trying to calm down and fall asleep in a “safe world” where people are looking out for you and caring for you.
  • Trouble falling asleep (which is distinct from insomnia) because turning off electronics etc. doesn’t help since your heartrate/fight or flight response is engaged
  • Periods of racing heart (mine has gotten to 120bpm for five hours) that make you feel like you’re waiting for something to happen
  • Exaggerated startle response. When I was a kid I used to hide behind corners to surprise my sisters. Two years ago my friend hid under my desk to scare me. I literally screamed, fell out of the chair, and started crying. She was laughing because she thought the joke went well, and then got concerned because I kept crying.
  • Purposefully “tanking” a bad day with sad music/tv/movies/books because it “was already ruined anyway”
words

Aries words are very rushed and quick. They are honest, blunt, and straight to the point.

Taurus words are slow and well thought out. They think about what they are saying before they say it, and their words are very deliberate.

Gemini words are quick and witty. They are personal and friendly, and their words definitely reflect that. They have a very fun, light way around their words.

Cancer words are full of care and love. They think of their words carefully and considerately.

Leo words are bold and dramatic. They are known to emphasize and dramatize. Their words are funny and entertaining, just like them.

Virgo words are subtle and intellectual. They have a large vocabulary and are careful with what words they choose.

Libra words are soothing and charming. They are full of compliments, and they like to mediate and keep the peace.

Scorpio words are full of passion and intensity. You can feel how much they care through their words alone.

Sagittarius words are honest and energetic. They have great jokes and stories, and they have a great energy behind their words.

Capricorn words are calculated and well thought out. Their words are carefully selected for the most amount of impact or for being just right in the moment.

Aquarius words are delightful and refreshing. Their thoughts are unique and so is the way they express them.

Pisces words are dreamy and compassionate. They prefer to listen rather than speak, but their words are comforting and sensitive.

*check Mercury

Q&A Transcript with Alex Hirsch at MomoCon 2017

Question: Before you decided to make Bill the main bad guy, did you have another character in mind that would have been the villain? 

Alex: Yeah, um that’s a good question. Uh, so, when we came up with the villain of the show, I knew that… I knew that Bill was involved. And I knew that Ford had disappeared due to some deal gone wrong with some villain next to the mystery of how Gravity Falls was all assembled. 

Um, but, I didn’t yet decide that Bill was that character in the very beginning, y'know? I had always imagined it was some sort of evil character somewhere kinda hidden in the woods. I wasn’t sure I could go with the Bill idea cuz I thought it would be too much like Twin Peaks, but as we got further along the series we discussed it among the repairs and we were like, ‘none of our other villain ideas were as good.’ Bill, Bill was weirder than anything else we thought of. Um, I remember there were other ideas. Strange monsters and government officials; some kind of cthulhu– some weird crazy old man. But nothing was ever better than Bill, so it ended up sticking. Probably somewhere around, y'know, season one– midway through season one, we started thinking we might be– might be on point.

Q: Was Grunkle Stan ever aware of McGucket’s connection to his brother? 

 A: Oh, oh that’s such a good question. Wait, let me think about that for a second… Uh… lemme see… I don’t think so. I don’t think Stan was ever aware of McGucket’s connection to his brother. Because, by the time Stan traded identities with Ford, uh… McGucket had already gone off the deep end– Was already y'know, had already created the Society of the Blind Eye; had already lost his own memory. So Stan would’ve really only known McGucket as a local obnoxious fisherman. 

And McGucket, probably somewhere deep in the back of his mind, was eerily just drawn to Stan in a way he just couldn’t put his finger on, because he thought maybe he knew him, but– I don’t– I think Stan was ignorant of that. Um, I think Stan… I think Stan looking through the journals probably should’ve put two and two together, but Stan’s not the best at book-learnin’. Uh, so… my guess is Stan wouldn’t have known despite that uh, that there’s a lot of tumblr art out there showing them as like the Scooby-Doo gang. I don’t think Stan ever really knew McGucket before.

Q: What episode do you believe came out the strongest and the most well rounded overall? And is it the same as your personal favorite episode?

 A: Oh gosh. Um. That’s a great question. Hmm… I probably feel, personally, that the strongest episode is uh, “Not What He Seems” just because it’s such a dramatic episode. Like, we know– We’ve never had an episode that dramatic. But, when we first pitched it to Disney executives… they thought it was bad. [laughs] Um, Because it didn’t have a lot of jokes in it? Like, I remember normally when we’re pitching our episode, executives can usually gauge how good they are by how much people laugh. People didn’t really laugh for that one, because it’s really tense. So we thought, maybe we’d screwed up. But, when the animation came back we were like, 'Oh! It’s GOOD that it’s tense. Like, it worked!’ Um, So, I dunno if that’s my favorite episode, but I think– that’s the episode we should’ve won an Emmy for, and I’m still pissed we didn’t. [laughs]

In terms of favorite episode, like… I dunno. I think the first episode that I really felt that the show was really starting to feel the way I wanted it to– “Time Traveler’s Pig” in season one. Like, that was an episode where Dipper had an interesting story, and Mabel had an interesting story, and uh, felt nostalgic, and based around the summer, and had a big secret callback to even previous episodes, so– I just remember when we first just got that episode back in color, I was like, 'hey I think maybe I like how I’m making this cartoon show,’ so I think that has a particularly fond place in my heart, y'know.

Q: Is Disney bringing you to SDCC or NYCC later this year to promote the journal and other books coming out? 

 A: Right, um, yeah, Disney– Disney… Disney-general and me, have like– we’re divorced. Like, they kept the house, and the pets. Y'know what I mean? It’s… we don’t like get dinner or anything. But, the Disney Publishing department, separate from Disney Television, they’re really cool, and enthusiastic, and energized. And they wanna make new cool stuff. Um, so I think it’s possible I might be at D23 this year, and it’s possible I might be at Comic Con, but I don’t have anything confirmed yet.

Q: In the scene where Bill is trying to convince Ford to join him in the Fearamid, were there any other jokes or story beats that were considered? 

 A: Which episode specifically are you talking about? [Q: The We’ll Meet Again scene.] Yea yea yea, We had a– Every scene that you’ve ever seen in the show has a ton of ton of stuff we’ve thought of and had to cut for time or other reasons. Um, I remember there was definitely a version of that where Bill was a lot trickier. Like, he sort of more successfully lied to Ford about like: 'We’re actually going to make the world a better place. Though I present myself as this chaos lunatic that’s just my personality.' Like, 'here’s ways in which we’ll IMPROVE the universe.' 

Um, but it felt out of character. We thought it was much more like Bill to just draw smiley faces in oceans and eat the sun and just– hope, that the force of his charisma could convince Ford that that was a good idea. But uh, I feel like– I feel like Bill can be really really tricky when he wants to, but by the time Weirdmageddon showed up he’s so impatient, and he’s so convinced that he won, that he was no longer like, this brilliant chess master he used to be. He’s like, 'alright let’s do it! Do what I want or I’ll eat your face.’ Like, no more– No more, like– He wasn’t as smart a tactician as he used to be, y'know?

Q: Was “We’ll Meet Again” always the song you were going to use? 

A: Oh yeah, it had to be that. It was like… I think I’d just seen Dr. Strangelove recently around that time and it stuck in my head. It seems to me, if Bill has a taste in music, it would be, like, old timey music that ranges from either weird to obnoxious to obscure. 

Uh, Disney wanted me to cut it cuz it cost them a bunch of money to get the rights, even though it’s so old, it still cost them money to get the rights. And I just… said, please. Over and over and over again. I would send an e-mail that just said, 'please.’ And send another e-mail that said, 'please.’ And I would send another e-mail that said– Yeah. [laughs] Eventually I wore them down that they’re like, 'alright we’ll spend thousands of dollars.’ [laughs]

Q: Are real comics coming? 

 A: You want comics? Would you read Gravity Falls comics?
[Audience screams]
[Alex leans his ear forward]
[AUDIENCE SCREAMS]

A: It’s a terrifying noise isn’t it, Michael? I was at a… Gravity Falls gallery, and like, they didn’t tell us how many people would show up, and it was like, THAT noise echoing from every corner. And uh like, I think I lost a year of my life. My hair started going gray, and it was like, 'oh my god, this is too much love! It’s terrifying.' 

Comics. I would love to do Gravity Falls comics. Um, I have so many… One of the tough things about a half hour show like Gravity Falls is every now and then we think of an idea that we really liked, but it was too short for a half hour; 'oh that’s only five minutes of story’– Or it’s too specific and weird. And so I have tons and tons of ideas of the show that y'know we’d like to explore this character, we’d like to show this secret, this storyline. So, I’d love to do comics. But, that’s up to Disney Publishing, and I’m trying to convince them. So, hopefully, I’ll have something exciting to announce in not too long.

Q&A with Stan and Soos

Q: Is Dipper adorable or manly?  

Stan: Dipper smells like baby wipes. Even if I cut off all my shoulder hair, and taped it to him, he wouldn’t be 1/10th as manly I am.

Q: What would you do if Mabel told you she had a date to prom? 

Stan: I would… invite the gentleman over, have some coffee, tie him to a chair and interrogate him for 10 hours, and maybe throw him in the pit. [shrug] Hands off my neice, kid!

Q: What would happen if Soos met Giffany again? 

Soos: Oh yea, I recently downloaded this couple’s therapy sim? Uh, I think she and I would have to talk about our issues and pass around a conversation pillow, and really work out these struggles. Cuz she’s got some problems, dude.

Q: Soos, why are you so perfect? 

Soos: Yeah, uh, my grandma said that a whole bunch of doves flew down and formed the shape of a perfect angel over my crib. I dunno, dude I guess I was just born that way.

I don’t play by the rules

Pairing: Peter parker x Stark! reader

Summary: Peter Parker falls hard for the new girl, and while he can’t do anything about it a certain masked hero might.

 word count: 2135

y/bf/n= Your best friend’s name

warnings: slight makeout? 

PART 2   PART 3

sorry in advance for any grammar mistakes, hope you enjoy it! Please tell me what you thought about it! :) 

ALSO! I! AM! TAKING! REQUESTS! SO! SEND! THOSE! IN! :)

Originally posted by tomshollandss

It happened on a Tuesday. A regular day you might say, however it was the day everything changed for Peter Parker. There he was on his chemistry class thinking it was just another boring class, another wasted hour, at least he thought that until the door opened, revealing the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

Standing in front of the class was Y/n Stark. Everybody knew who you were, your dad was Iron man, for God sake! You came in the classroom with a designer outfit and bag that was probably more expensive than Peter’s whole wardrobe.

Peter continued to watch you as the teacher told you to seat right at the front of the class. Not only were you a really pretty girl, with the brightest smile and the kindest eyes, but you also had to be very intelligent, since this was the Chemistry AP class. Well of course she is intelligent dumbass! Her father is Tony Stark! She has obviously been in his labs before!

After that first time he saw you everything went downhill. He could never gather the courage to talk to you, let alone ask you out, so he settled for watching you from afar. She probably thinks I’m a creeper, Peter thought, however he couldn’t bring himself to care. He could watch as your smile got bigger when someone told you a joke, and how your eyes will get particularly bright whenever you got a good grade at math. He didn’t care about anything else.

Not long after your arrival to the school he got his so-called “stark internship”,  or his role as Spiderman. This didn’t change much for him. He was still a nerd loser and you were still  a popular girl that was way out of his league.

“Seriously dude! how come you’ve never even said a word to her?” Ned asked Peter as they made their way into the gym.

“Is not that easy Ned! She doesn’t even know I exist!”

“But you are like, totally in love with Y/!” Peter quickly muffled Ned’s mouth, stopping the boy from saying anything else.

“Geez Ned! Don’t you want to shout it to the world?!” Peter started lowering his hand and headed towards the group of people exercising. “You can’t just go around saying that! Someone might hear you!”

“I’m sorry but, like, I still can’t believe it! Don’t you see her everyday? in the, you know, Stark Internship?”

Since Ned found out about Peter being Spider Man he had made questions non-stop, pretty ridiculous questions, if you asked Peter.

“Ned I don’t just hang out at the Avenger’s tower you know? I have to be on the streets! Besides, she is totally off limits I mean! She is Mr. Stark’s daughter! He would kill me if-”

“Shhh- SHhhhhh! Peter listen!”

This time he was the one to shut up as both boys listened to a conversation happening at the bleachers across them. It was Y/n, looking as beautiful as she always did, surrounded by her usual crowd.

“Sooo Y/n, you must be surrounded by all those superheroes at your house right? You know, because of your dad?

“Well not all the time, but yeah, they hang out pretty often” She responded, trying to sound chill about the topic. Not everybody noticed, but Peter knew just how tired she felt about having to talk about his dad and the avengers all the time. None of the people that followed her around really knew her. Yes they knew about her life and her family, but besides that no one seemed to take interest in getting to know her for real.

That was kind of the reason why he prefered to hide his identity. Well, that and the possibility of being kidnapped and killed.

“Are you friends with them?”  “Are they nice?” “Are they hot?” “Is Captain America a real blonde?”

A load of questions were asked at you, however one catched Peter’s attention again.

“Are you friends with spiderman? Do you know who he is?”

“I’ve actually never talked to him, he’s never at the tower when I’m there” she replied shrugging her shoulders. She really was clueless to the hero’s identity.

“Seriously Y/n? Weren’t you supposed to be Spiderman #1 fan?” Y/bf/n asked, as she wiggled her eyebrows at Y/n.

A blush spread to the girl’s cheeks as she smiled shyly. Of course she had a tiny crush with Spider Man (even though she didn’t have a clue of who he was), however he never seemed to hang around the tower as the other Avengers. Maybe he liked being alone.

The conversation was quickly dropped after the coach told them all to get back to work, however Ned was not done.

“Dude! She likes you!” You have to talk to her tonight!”

“She doesn’t like me! She likes Spider Man, not Peter, besides-”

“I swear to God that if you don’t make a move on her tonight I will stop being friends with you! You have to promise me you will try! Deal?

“Deal”

Could it be possible that the most beautiful girl he had ever laid his eyes on had a thing for him? Even if it was the suit she was in love with Peter couldn’t stop the smile that crept through his face all day and the knot he felt on his stomach every time he looked at Y/n.

And that is exactly why he found himself later that night ready to go talk to the girl of his dreams. He already knew the crew will be out with Mr Stark in some mission he was not allowed, so that cleared the way for him. And anyways he was always welcomed in the tower, at least that what they always told him.

“You can do this Peter, you got this”

Peter tried to give himself a little of motivation before knocking on your door,however he couldn’t find the strength to raise his hand and knock on it, he felt like a bundle of nerves! None of his previous fights or encounters had him feeling this way, he seriously needed to control himself! Peter tried once again to knock on the door only to be stopped when the door opened completely, revealing Y/n in her pj’s and her glasses, apparently ready to go to bed.

Both teenagers looked at each other with complete shook in the faces, one behind his mask of course. The girl was completely speechless, she couldn’t believe the Spider Man was in front of her! And had seen her in just some sweats! She blushed deeply as she realised her appearance.

Peter tried to think of something, anything to say to her, however he couldn’t seem to find the words. After a long silence Y/n finally broke the silence as she leaned against the door.

“I can’t believe Spider Man is at my door! To what do I owe the pleasure?”

The girl was trying to keep it together, however she was still freaking out, but she couldn’t let her stupid crush affect her! This was her chance to get to know him! She could feel her flirtier side creeping up, trying to smile wider and lean closer to the boy.

“Well- I umhh- I just wanted to- you know- visit my favorite Stark” Peter said as he tried to recover from his initial shook.

“Then I guess you are looking for my dad, however he is not around”

“I actually meant you, I’ve been waiting to meet you for a long time now”

The girl was surprised by what the boy had just said. Did he know her? How come they had never met before?

Y/n started moving inside her bedroom once again, looking over her shoulder to continue “Since I’ve got no plans for tonight you might want to hang for a while, you know, to get to know each other and stuff”

Peter did not need to be told twice before he followed her around and into her room. Well, bedroom was an understatement to what her place really looked liked. It seemed more like a apartment of her own, with a big tv are, followed by what appeared to be her studio with a shit ton of books and finally her actual bed. She went into the couch in front the TV as Peter followed her close behind. She finally seated down facing the boy.

“Why are you here with me right now and not saving the world as usual?”

“Can’t a man take a break every once in awhile? Besides, I’m pretty sure your dad is taking care of that at the moment”

“You are probably right, sooo anyways..You said you had wanted to meet me for a long time, so here I am, what is it that you wanna know?”

“Well nothing in particular- it’s just that- you are- you are a really beautiful girl”

The girl felt herself blush at the words of the boy behind the mask. He probably did have a thing for her then? There was only one way to find out the truth.

Y/n leaned closer to Peter, looking into what she supposed were his eyes and took him by the shoulder as she played with the curls in the back of his head.

“So you think I’m a beautiful girl?” She said with a teasing voice, trying to make the boy a little nervous, obviously succeeding.

“The most gorgeous I’ve meet”

Peter could say this without any hesitation. Right in front of him was the most beautiful girl on earth. Her big eyes were looking at him and she was even closer than before, he was getting kind of nervous, but her fingers in his hair kept him just in place, right where she wanted him.

“So if I’m so beautiful, how come you’ve never paid me a visit before?”

She had started talking in mere whispers, now moving her other hand into his chest, playing with the material of his suit.

“I wanted to!- I totally wanted to but- you know your dad’s rules right? I’m not really allowed to”

She started to lift his mask, revealing only his mouth before saying.

“Well Spider-boy, you should already know I don’t play by my father’s rules”

Right after she finished she crashed her lips into Peter’s making the boy let out a surprised gasp. He was kissing her! They were kissing! He couldn’t believe it!

Meanwhile the girl was feeling exactly the same. She didn’t knew where she got the guts to do it, but she was glad she did.

His fingers sanked  into her hair as they continued kissing, Peter finally out of his trance brought his other hand to the girl’s face and cupped it, deepening the kiss further.

He felt himself biting into the girl’s lips, as a quiet moan escaped her lips. Y/n pulled apart only to straddle his hips with her thighs and roll her hips along the way, giving them both a little of the friction they needed, but not enough.

Peter grabbed her waist trying to pull her closer to him, his hand making their way to her legs, touching and stroking her thighs. They were heavy breathing, kissing longer, harder, rougher. Both teenagers tried to take and taste as much as possible, urgent and desperately, fighting for dominance.

He pulled apart and went straight for her neck, sucking and biting, leaving what would sure become hickeys by the morning. His morning somewhat bored with her long legs moved to her hips once again, before sliding under her t-shirt and holding her closer, moving his hand right under her bra.

The soft whimpers that would leave her mouth every time he bite a specific part kept him going. Another movement yet another time they would feel that friction and that need to pull harder at the other.

Y/n as getting pretty tired of that stupid mask getting in the way, so she pulled apart ready to get it off him, however a noise down the kitchen distracted her. She heard her dad’s voice calling for her! The whole team was there already? How had they missed it?

Peter realised the situation as well  as he quickly pull stood up and headed towards the window.

“I really have to get going, I’m sorry!”

“Will I see you again?”

Peter pulled the girl close to him for one last kiss, a long lingering one. A kiss he had dreamed over and over again.

“Sooner than you think”

With this last words the boy pulled his mask down and disappeared through the window, swinging his way from building to building.

Man! He could not wait to tell Ned the good news!

I’ve seen some stuff about this before but I just wanna bring it back… yknow, that one time Taako accidentally calls Merle “dad”, and he’s not about to live that down, ever, so after a couple weeks of relentless teasing he decides to just make it a fucking thing. Merle? Merle who? That’s my dad right there dunno what you’re talking about, I’m respectful enough that I don’t call my dad by his first name c’mon. 

The thing is, it eventually catches on. First with Lup, because they’re twins so obviously they share a father, then Magnus because he thinks it’s funny as fuck. Barry says “well I guess you being Lup’s dad makes you my dad-in-law and I’m just gonna simplify it by calling you dad, too. Or maybe pops.” And Lucretia comes in with “if Merle is our dad what does that make Davenport?” and everyone instantly agrees he’s the Other Dad but he’s the Cool Dad who goes by his own damn name, actually. 

Angus starts to call him “Granddad”, much to Merle’s annoyance, though Taako finds it hilarious. Merle tries to deter it by pointing out the implication that one of them must be Ango’s parent to make him the grandfather, but both Magnus and Taako proudly claim the title as their own but insist that they, like Davenport, are cool dads who go by their first names (lbh Angus probably ‘accidentally’ calls one or both of them dad as well, just not in front of people usually). Merle complains a little more because his own actual kids are closer to Ango’s age than anything, but when it gets down to it he really doesn’t mind that much. 

It gets so pervasive that they even do it in public. One time at a bar Merle is drinking with Lucretia and picking on her, teasing good-naturedly of course, but before they know it, some young fella next to them asks Lucretia if everything is okay, if she’s being bothered or whatever, and she just looks at him and says “Um, no, I’m fine, he’s my dad.” and the guy looks between them, confused, but nods and walks away. 

Merle’s biological children think it’s kind of weird, at first. After the initial reaction, though, Mookie is actually more excited than anything to have all these cool older siblings around, and after a while Mavis learns to appreciate it too (she’s very partial to Lucretia and Barry, the tamer and nerdier of the bunch, but she eventually gets along well with all of them).

One time, someone eventually asks them if they mean it like Merle is a “father” because he’s a cleric, and they’re all stopped dead in their tracks because none of them had ever thought of it that way, but they agree that that could be one interpretation of it. More than anything, though, they just all know they’re family in some way, so why not make a sort-of joke out of what is basically true? 

There are roses on Derek’s doorstep.

No note. No scent trail. After determining that there is nothing inherently magical or deadly about them, he spends the entire rest of the day researching symbolism and archaic demon customs, trying to figure out what kind of death threat he’s just been handed.

It doesn’t occur to him until nightfall, when the neighbors start discussing their romantic dinner plans at a decibel he has trouble tuning out, that he realizes the flowers might not have been delivered with malicious intent.

Because, apparently, today is Valentine’s Day. And apparently someone decided that Derek should receive flowers to celebrate the occasion.

Derek Hale has a secret admirer.

He honestly would have preferred the death threat.

Keep reading

→ nudes, not flowers | 02

Originally posted by bangtannoonas

☆ pairing → Hoseok x Reader x Jungkook

genre → smut, fuckboi!au

warnings → … voyeurism + exhibitionism, dom!junghope, power play?, dirty talk!!!, jealousy, demeaning names during sex, the threesome, & probably other warnings byE 

word count   → 10.4k 

You’re not supposed to fall for Jung Hoseok and his repertoire of awful pick-up lines—but you do. The problem is: he’s afraid of commitment, and bolts at the idea of settling down. After that, you decide to stay far away from fuckboys, but his friend decides to test your new found resolutions.

or : Jungkook wants to see how far he can push Hoseok until he snaps

  ↣  01 | 02 (final)

a/n; okay…so… this is just porn, but if you squint, there’s kind of a plot. you should probably start with pt 1 if you haven’t already!! 
+ shout out to the mutuals who encouraged the filth fest in this part esp @gxtsmxt @itsrainingmin !! we can have a prayer circle later to cleanse our souls
+ also tomorrow is my one month anniversary on tumblr :’)) thank you so much for all the love i’ve received this past month  ♡

Keep reading

27 Dress Code Violations

@jilychallenge 04/2017 | @bantasticbeasts vs @anxiouspotter

Muggle AUs | “i get dress coded so you give me your jacket and we protest unfair regulations for girls together/you sass the teacher about how distracted you are by my shoulders”

Word Count: 2500

special shoutout to @jiilys. solidarity, sister

AO3


i.

She walks into English fifteen minutes late, wearing both a deeply unflattering smock and a scowl. Neither are an especially new look on her.

“Vector,” she says under her breath, as an answer to Mary McDonald’s unspoken question. It’s the answer to every question in the room. Ms Vector is notorious among them all for her very strict adherence to the school’s dress code.

“Yes, Miss Evans’ entrance was very exciting, but I’ll have your attention back to the lesson now, please,” says Ms McGonagall. James snaps back to attention. It’s for the best.

ii.

“Here,” James says, shrugging off his jacket and thrusting it toward Lily. She gives him this look like, fuck off, and James has to bite his tongue to stop from aggravating her. “They’re doing uniform checks up the hall. Just put it on.”

Evans gives him a very strange look, and it takes him a second to realise that it’s neutral.

She looks good in his jacket.

iii. 

Every third dress code violation results in a lunch time detention. It’s only October, and Lily’s already had six. She doesn’t look at James as she takes the seat three ahead and one to the left of him.

iv.

There’s a thump from somewhere in the back of the classroom, and McGonagall isn’t planning on looking up - it sounds like it came from the general vicinity of Potter and Black, and that’s certainly not a situation she wants to engage with - but the entire class is already turned around to see what the fuss is.

She strides down the aisle between the desks, and is about three years past surprised to find James Potter lying on the floor, gazing at the ceiling, glasses knocked aside.

“Am I boring you so much that you decided to take a nap?” she asks, and James gives this wicked smile, and here we go–

“Sorry, Miss, I can’t get up. It’s Evans’ shoulders - they’re overwhelming me. I simply can’t do anything until she covers them up. Sirius, tell me when it’s safe.”

He’s a funny boy, she’ll give him that. “Potter, get up. This is hardly the time for foolishness.”

Keep reading

3

I have been wanting to make this joke since I started reading @wilyart‘s Insomnia comic, so I finally did it.

No regrets.

Now go read Insomnia, it’s an amazing comic with beautiful art and an incredibly well written and thought out story.

youtube

TRANSLATING FAIRY TALES CHALLENGE
YOUSEF: What’s up, man? Ok, ok, ok, stop, stop, stop.

[HEY BRISKEBY]

ELIAS: What’s up, people?

YOUSEF: Are you doing well?

ELIAS: Welcome back!

YOUSEF: Hi, hi.

ELIAS: Hope you’ve had a nice day so far and don’t forget that even though you’re in your PJs, without makeup, without anything, you still look good.

YOUSEF: But what are we doing today?

ELIAS: Today, we’re just going to joke around a bit. I found an old book, so I thought we’d read it in different languages. Adam! Pass me the book. The red one, down there.

MUTASIM: That book.

MIKAEL: Get the book, man.

ELIAS: The red one that sticks out.. Yeah, that’s the one.

YOUSEF: Hush.. The book is by Asbjørnsen & Moe*.

ADAM: The big children’s fairy tale book.

YOUSEF: We’re looking forward to it.

ELIAS: This is the book. I don’t know if you can see it, but here it is.

MUTASIM: Hold it straight, boys. Like that.

ELIAS: So we’ll start.. Just say stop. I’ll start and you just say stop.

MIKAEL & MUTASIM: Stop!

YOUSEF: Are we going to translate too?

THE BOYS: Yes! That’s the point.

ELIAS: Once upon a time there was a house mouse and a mountain mouse who met in the forest.

MUTASIM: Give it here.

ELIAS: Once upon a time there was a house mouse and a mountain mouse who met in the forest.

ELIAS: In British. Mikael, just take over. Once upon a time there was a house mouse and a mountain mouse who met in the forest.

MIKAEL: What the hell is a house mouse?

MUTASIM: Are you stupid?

MIKAEL: Am I going to do it like.. really posh?

ELIAS: Ok, do it in Turkish. “Blessed be the work”, said the house mouse. “Will I meet family here, so far out in the country?” she said.

YOUSEF: *Translates to Turkish*

ADAM: What are you doing, man? Come on.

MUTASIM: It’s good, though.

ELIAS: Take another story and I’ll translate it into Arabic.

YOUSEF: Mutta got a 6 in Norwegian.

ELIAS: Come on.

ADAM: Mutta.

MUTASIM: Once upon a time, there was a queen who was out driving.

ELIAS: Ok. *Translates into arabic*

MUTASIM: It was during winter.

ADAM: Let me do one in French. Let me just check if I can do it.

ELIAS: French?

MIKAEL: When she was on her way, she started bleeding from her nose and had to get out of the sled.

ADAM: *Names French footballers*

ADAM & ELIAS: *Speak French to each other*

ADAM: You don’t know French!!

ELIAS: Let’s wrap it up?

YOUSEF: Yeah.

ELIAS: Let’s be serious. Do you have anything to add?

YOUSEF: Me? I have nothing to add.

ELIAS: Thanks for watching, don’t forget to like and subscribe. Talk to you later!

[HEY BRISKEBY]

YOUSEF: Did you turn on the camera?

[Norwegian men who gathered fairy tales from all over Norway and wrote them down.]

the bayard is the paladin is the lion: a season 3 prediction

Alternatively titled: Watch This Child Jeopardize Her GPA in Real Time As She Ignores Her Midterms to Write Yet Another Fucking Meta

The lovely @littleblackchats already wrote an awesome post about the symbolism of the bayards for each of the characters in Voltron. But I was wondering: could we take it a step further and use the weapons - and what they say symbolically about the paladins wielding them - to make an informed guess about who’s going to end up in what lion next season?

(even if the answer to that question is no, i’m already writing this so whatever)

Since Allura, Keith, and Lance are the most likely to be swapped into new lions (or, in Allura’s case, to be put into a lion for the first time), I thought it’d be cool to take a look at what the weapons each of them wields says about their personalities, and whether that can give us hints as to who’s gonna be the Black Paladin next season while Shiro’s gone.

Alright, so in episode 1, Allura tells us that a lion’s quintessence is mirrored in its paladin, and that the paladin shapes the bayard. So lion = paladin = bayard. The lion and paladin should be similar in personalty, and the bayard should be compatible to the paladin’s style of fighting and personality as well. This is shown really well in Hunk and Pidge: Pidge’s weapon is small (like her), electric (reflecting her interest in computers), and made for precision (Pidge is more interested in finding clever solutions than just brute-forcing problems), while Hunk’s is big (just like him), long-range (reflecting his wish to stay distanced from conflict), and packs a punch (Hunk is the strongest character on the team, after all).

So the weapons tell us something about the personalities of the ones using them. But what can their respective weapons tell us about Keith, Lance, and Allura?

Keep reading

Otp moments to think about

~ A jumping onto the sleeping form of B and screaming ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY’ before showering them with kisses and presents

~ A taking the hand of nervous B to calm them in public and whispering encouraging words

~ A taking care of B when B has been working too hard and neglecting their basic human needs

~ Adopting a pet!

~ Sharing their favorite music with each other

~ Introducing each other to movies and TV shows that mean a lot to them!

~ Babysitting

~ Playing video games

~ Reuniting after a long time away from each other

~ Coming up with and discussing theories at 2 AM

~ Knowing each others triggers and having well thought out plans for when those moments happen

~ Helping each other get over bad habits

~ Helping each other maintain good habits

~ Having inside jokes in public and sharing looks and smothered laughs

~ Laying on the hood of a car, looking up at the stars and talking about childhood memories

~ The calm before the storm, a small, precious moment that they have, not knowing if they’ll see each other alive again

~ A admitting a hard-hitting truth to B

~ Shopping!

~ Reading and cuddling on a sunny day

~ Trying out glasses

~ Whispering sassy comments to each other and ‘staring into the camera like their in the office’ looks but their each others cameras

~ Trying to outsmart each other in front of a teacher / boss / high rank

~ you say TWISTER and I raise with MESSY TWISTER (paint!)

~ Finals week and coping mechanisms

~ A lost their baggage and needs to borrow basically everything from B

~ Late night phone calls

~ Napping

~ Jamming in the car

~ Introducing each other to their families

~ Tired monday mornings

~ Stealing food and hauling ass from a party neither of them want to be at

~ Reenacting the Dirty Dancing dance move and messing up

~ Lost in the woods 

Wish You Were Here (Tom Holland Smut)

request: i think it was kinda? someone wanted phone sex w tom so here we are i’m too lazy to find it but anon one’s for u babe <3

short summary: tom was a little shit this whole week about the fresh cut and it got u all hot and bothered when he finally posted a pic so u know seeing as u can’t see him phone sex will have to do

length: 1.6k words

warnings: smut

A/N: i’m sorry i know i said i was working on 2 angsty peter fics but i knew i needed to write this as soon as he finally stopped being a snake and showed us that dope cut bc goddamn it looks fucking NICE i’m so s o r r y 
pls forgive me


You toyed with yourself as you paced around your bedroom. Not knowing what exactly to do, you were at a loss. You didn’t want to cave, but at the same time you were beyond caring. The reward would be too great if you would just succumb to your wants.

Tom hadn’t only been messing with his fans all week, but you too. What started as a simple joke tweet had amassed into hysteria in his fandom. He’d initially planned on only waiting a day before showing the world a simple selfie of his new hair cut, but after seeing everyone freak out he decided to take it a step further and mess with everyone for a few days.

Keep reading

5 Things to know about the Danny Phantom Phandom

1. They are absolutely insane. The show has been cancelled for 10 years and the fandom is still very active and engaged. They just don’t know what to give up the ghost (pun COMPLETELY intended because, this phandom lives on dead puns)

2. A good 50% of Phandom headcanons and materials are better, more interesting and more well thought out than canon. About 30% is the most heartbreaking, disturbing, horrifying angst you never imagined could exist. The remaining 20% is the weirdest, most bizarre crack that become phandom inside jokes.

3. We talk about a reboot a lot but Hartman recently put up some new material speculating on what happened to the characters and most of the Phandom huddled in a corner around their beautiful fics and headcanons and hissed. Most Phans live for the fanon and have no interest in adhering to proper canon.

4. The shipnames are weird af and you have to squint your eyes and turn your head to make sense of half of them. Like??? Timely Intelligence? Makeup Honor?? Psycho Cereal??? What kind of names are these (you don’t even want to know what these ships are for because some of them are wiggity wiggity whack yo)

5. Everyone fandom has their dark spots but I can truly say that after 4 years very active in the Phandom and 8 years on and off, this is one of the nicest, most open and welcomes fandoms I’ve ever been in. There are problems sure but I met some amazing, kind and talented people in this fandom.

3

Don’t worry. No one’s going under the ship today. Though, the thought had crossed my mind. No, I’m quite certain I can do better than that.

Langst i thought about late at night im sorry

ok so i don’t have a lot of evidence on this considering i don’t have screenshots and i really need to binge voltron again but im making this off of pure memory so hear me out ok? im porbably looking way too deep into this lmao

I think Lance feeling like he’s a seventh wheel is completely justified. 

Alright so everyone has had that moment where you make a joke and everybody just stay silent like it isnt funny, right? Well if you think about it, Lance has those moments every time he makes a joke or tries to lighten the mood, all of the time. Nobody really laughs at his comments or even pays much attention to them in the first place, only gets glares in return.

Now clearly, Lance usually cracks a joke for comic relief, but apparently no one else finds it funny. For example, he comes out of the pod after healing and everyone is happy to see him.  But as soon as he starts talking, people just groan and act like, “Oh, it’s that Lance, he hasn’t changed one bit,” and act clearly annoyed. Even his idol, Shiro, acts fed up with his shit- which in some cases is justified, but most times, it shouldnt matter, he’s just trying to be funny lmao.  Lance probably feels, unwanted, out of place, like he is the fifth wheel because no one really accepts him, and everyone finds him annoying.

Its not even just with Lance’s sense of humor, too.

People always think his ideas are stupid.

For example, the iconic scene where he keeps Keith from running straight into the danger that could get both of them killed, he suggests his alternate idea. Keith- who usually thinks Lance’s ideas are dumb, automatically jumps to the conclusion that his idea is going to be. Before he can argue, though, he works it out and sees that maybe Lance’s alternate route is a good idea. 

People disagree with the way he wants to complete something, in season 2, Lance comes up with the idea to form Voltron in a situation and everyone vouches against it, however 30 seconds later, they end up forming Voltron, like he said, anyway. 

Another reason, people also think little of him, they underestimate him, and that all starts with the Garisson. He was told that the only reason he ever got at his fighter pilot class was because his rival was kicked out of school, and without that he shouldnt have even been there. Again, he feels out of place, and like he doesnt belong. Then, his idol, his hero, Shiro, shows up, and when he finally feels like he has a purpose, like he could accomplish something amazing, but then Keith shows up. Even then, he doesnt give up, he is like “um excUSE ME BITCH I CALLED SAVING SHIRO FIRST” And once again, he doesnt want his rival that always beat him to do that once again. 

And again in season two, there’s clearly favoritism happening between Keith and Shiro, and Lance is jealous of course. Like, he finally gets to meet and work with his idol, and when he wants to go with Shiro on a mission, SHiro chooses Keith over him. Man, I wonder why he’s so overdramatic about it. Its not like he was treated the same damn way at the gaRISSON OR ANYTHING NAHH

No, but clearly, he has an inferiority complex, especially when it comes to keith, because he knows hes better than him in every way.

People in the show also deny that he has any good skills, and even he himself starts to believe it, when sorta venting to the yupper. (i die a little inside whenever i see it)

I loved it when shiro gave him praise for once because it was specifically for him and not directed at the whole time. It was good job LANCE

And honestly the pride on his face was so heartwarming like omg thank you shiro for ackowledging him

im probably going way off track but anyway 

daily dose of what its like in my mind 24/7 lmao

I hope in season 3 they kinda bring his insecurities up again as a sort of conflict i mean- with Keith possibly becoming Black Paladin, Lance is probably gonna be hella jealous and im sure thats gonna instigate a fight between them, and now theres not really a mediator. So. Fantastic…..

Guys i feel like a lot fo stuff goes right back to shiro, how lance probably aspires to be like him, or be good in his eyes and therefore be good for the rest of the team but hes having this inferiority complex because he feels unappreciated. Like hes just that annoying guy they dont really need and they could replace him if they wanted to, and keeping all of those thoughts hidden or masked by this confident facade is like

lance youre gonna break at some point 

I hope lance gets the recognition and the acknowledgement he deserves in season 3 i swear he better not be tossed under the rug.

John and Sherlock decide to take Rosie on a trip to the Holmes parents’ cottage and John is privately nervous at Rosie’s reaction.

But when they arrive, it’s clear there was nothing to worry about. Rosie is in raptures from the first moment, running about the garden while Sherlock’s father chases after her.

And then they all head inside, and Sherlock’s mother explains that they brought all of Mycroft and Sherlock’s old toys out of the loft, all spruced up and ready for Rosie to play with.

And it’s so wonderful to watch as John realises how loved Sherlock was as a child, and now, as Sherlock leans against the kitchen counter top, as relaxed as he’s ever been, pinching biscuits from a jar until his mother notices and jokingly swats him with a tea towel.

It’s all so beautifully natural and John’s heart aches with it. He hears Rosie giggling as Sherlock’s father shows her how to play Mouse Trap; Sherlock and his mother’s easy conversation:

“Is Myc not coming round, Sherlock?”

“Are you deliberately calling him that now just to piss h-um-annoy him? Think he’s with the foreign secretary, I don’t know.”

“Excellent, I can Skype call him again, he never answers his phone.”

“Oh my god, I thought he was joking when he said you-”

And all of a sudden the ache in John’s heart tightens and he slips out for some fresh air. He thought he had been practically silent but Sherlock is soon right behind him.

“Are you alright? Is there-did I do something wrong?”

And John’s eyes well up at the thought that Sherlock could even think that, and he shakes his head, voice choked: “No, I-of course not, it’s just I’ve-I never had-”

He gestures back inside, where Sherlock’s parents are chatting away to Rosie.

“I never had that,” John finally admits.

And the line of Sherlock’s mouth wavers, and he’s hugging John like his life depends on it.

“You have it here,” Sherlock tells him, soft yet fierce. “You have it now. Always.”

Storage Room (M)

Originally posted by seagulljjk

╳ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

╳ Genre: (one shot) smut 

╳ Summary: You didn’t know that accidentally being locked in a storage room with Jungkook could turn out to be so fun.


All you wanted to do was go to the mall by yourself and have a relaxing day but no, of course that can’t happen. You were just walking by a store, glancing at a display window, admiring a cute outfit until you heard screams. You quickly whipped your head around to see a swarm of girls coming at you. You had no time to think before you got pushed into the store, the employees freaking out trying to shut the door, and a guy in all black pacing back and forth.

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Road Trip || c.h

tbfh i was writing car sex w/ cal but i deleted it bc i thought it was trash omg (i dont think this was amazingly written, pls forgive me ;[)

Warning: this is fucking l o n g. 

I M A G I N E [SMUT]

“Baby.” You heard a soft voice call to you in your head. You were sleeping soundly, until this voice kept sounding in your head. Your eyes fluttered open slowly, introducing you to the dimly lit car. The car stumbled upon a bump, allowing you to float in air for just a moment. 

Keep reading