this was my roommate's idea

5

I had wonderful intentions of sharing all kinds of book pics/posts/reblogs for World Book Day today but things got so manically busy that I didn’t even get home for supper till 10:30pm, so unfortunately a hasty post before midnight is the best I can do at present. :/ 

These pics were taken at the Maine apartment in September before Lucky and I came back to the Midwest and show maybe 60% of my personal library. (Somehow I never took a picture of the entire bookshelf of fairy tale books and of course, this doesn’t include any of my acquisitions of the past five months…) My roommate and I both loved the idea of having a proper library after living most of our lives in small houses with our precious books stacked and piled and boxed away, and several of the furnishings (including that fabulous window seat and that beautiful rocking chair) were adopted from the local Goodwill.

the signs as lyrics from “If I Had a Million Dollars”

Aries: I’d buy you a monkey / haven’t you always wanted a monkey?

Taurus: we wouldn’t have to eat Kraft Dinner / but we would eat Kraft Dinner / of course we would, we’d just eat more / and buy really expensive ketchup with it / that’s right, all the fanciest dijon ketchup

GeminiI’d buy you a green dress / but not a real green dress; that’s cruel

Cancer: I’d buy you a fur coat / but not a real fur coat; that’s cruel

Leo: we wouldn’t have to walk to the store / we’d take a limousine ‘cause it costs more

VirgoI’d buy you furniture for your house / maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman

LibraI’d buy you a K-Car / a nice Reliant automobile

Scorpio: I’d buy you John Merrick’s remains / all them crazy elephant bones

SagittariusI’d build a tree fort in our yard / you could help; it wouldn’t be that hard / maybe we could put put a little tiny fridge in there somewhere

Capricorn: if I had a million dollars / I’d be rich

AquariusI’d buy you an exotic pet / like a llama or an emu

PiscesI’d buy you some art / a Picasso or a Garfunkel

Masked Intruder

Summary: Dan is a robber who steals valuable objects nearly every night. When he goes into a flat decorated with plants and stuffed animals, he can’t seem to keep himself away. Dan’s not used to pretty boys stealing things of his own; especially when they steal his heart.
Word Count: 3590
Warnings: stealing, breaking/entering, cussing
A/N: I’d like to thank my roommate @sourmojo for giving me the idea to write this fic (based off of this song) and also @insanityplaysfics for being my lovely beta. That summary is the worst fucking summary I’ve ever written but I love this idea so much and I hope you do too! Please don’t ask me to write a sequel, i will write one if i end up feeling like it, but as of right now, it doesnt seem very likely.
Read it on AO3!

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It was something that Dan was proud of, as fucked up as it was. He just couldn’t get enough of everything about it; the thrill, the little prizes he got out of it, hell even the news broadcasters. No matter how hard he tried to get away from his lifestyle, he always ended up going back. His own addiction, his very own little secret. Besides, it’s not like anybody was getting hurt in his escapades. Just himself and his own conscious, but that he could deal with.

So what if he broke into houses and stole objects he found compelling? They were just objects and humans should be able to get over the loss of something so materialistic. Rings, money, antiques. Stealing those didn’t harm anybody. In fact, they should be grateful for Dan. He helped people realise that family was far more important than items.

Dan didn’t necessarily know how he got to this point in his life, where he just went to other people’s houses to steal meaningless crap, but he couldn’t be more thankful. One day he was just a silly little teenager trying to be edgy by sneaking into places he wasn’t supposed to be in, and the next moment he was a twenty-five year old man breaking and entering all to steal that new movie he’s been wanting for weeks. Some would say that he was stupid for risking going to jail just for a movie, but Dan didn’t give a single fuck.

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Hate to Love You (Snowbaz)

“Great,” I mutter as I walk into our room and see Simon on his bed, “You couldn’t have been out saving the world or getting killed or something?”

Simon barely even glances at me. But he whispers something that sounds strangely like “I wish” before rolling over on his bed, away from me. I pause. Simon is always up for a fight. Something’s got to be wrong. I’m tempted to ignore him and just go to my desk, enjoy some quiet and try to get homework done. I should be doing that. That’s what everyone would expect me to do. I walk towards my desk and sit down.

After ten minutes I can’t stand the silence. It’s growing bigger and bigger in the small room, a buzzing annoyance. Simon’s never this quiet. No matter what he’s doing, he does it loudly. Eating, sleeping, talking. Everything. But now he’s barely making any noise. Even his breathing seems quieter than usual.

I finally spin around, frustrated and fed up and stand up, “What in Crowley’s name is wrong with you?” I say. Simon looks up at me, his expression gloomy and his eyes dull.

“What do you care?” he asks with venom. Venom I know isn’t just aimed at me today. Simon’s mad at the whole world and I can’t help myself, I want to know why. I cautiously walk closer to him, making sure he’s not going to suddenly pull out his sword and attack me. I wouldn’t put it past him, even with the Roommate’s Anathema. If anyone could find a way around that it would be Simon, probably by sheer luck though. I sit at the edge of his bed and he glances at me, curiosity breaking through the fog of sheer misery in his eyes.

“No really,” I say, quieter, gentler, “what’s wrong?”

He pushes himself up, looking suspiciously at me and I realize how close we are. I can feel the heat from his skin and his arm brushes mine as he shifts over to sit next to me, his socked feet hanging off the bed next to mine. My breath quickens.

“I just-” he fiddles with the blanket between his fingers, “ I’m lonely I guess. I mean, no one wants to be friends with me. Sure I have Penny and Agatha, but Penny has Micah and she’s always busy with him and Agatha broke up with me, which you’ve probably heard by now. And I know I’m shitty at magic and probably a danger to be around most of the time. Maybe I shouldn’t be here, I shouldn’t be anywhere. I’m not safe for anyone and I’m alone and there’s nothing I can do about it. Hell, even my roommate hates me and I have no idea why.” His sad eyes lock with mine. “why do you hate me? Really, i want to know, am I that awful to be around?”

I open my mouth. Then close it again. I swallow. “Do you really want to know? Do you really want to know why I hate you so much?”

He nods and I shuffle closer, turning so I’m facing him, while he’s still gazing towards the window. “Well,” I whisper, “the first thing I hate about you is your eyes. They’re so blue, you see. There’s no possible way to describe them besides blue. Writing poetry about them is impossible.”

He turns to me in confusion but before he can interrupt I force myself to continue.

“And then there’s your hair. It’s always a mess, and it drives me insane because I just want to run my fingers through it. And that you smell like cinnamon and smoke. And your moles, Crowley I could spend days telling you how much I hate your moles. Simon, you’re covered in constellations and I want to trace them all. It drives me crazy.”

“Baz-” he starts, “If- if you’re joking this isn’t funny.”

I move my hand to his cheek and suppress a smile when he starts to lean into it.

“ And I hate your stubbornness.” I move my face closer to his, “and the way you fight for what you believe in, and how you talk with your hands more than your mouth, and the way you smile and how you can’t seem to do anything quietly. And Simon,” our noses brush and I press my forehead against his. “I hate that I’m not joking. I hate that-” I swallow and stare at his eyes. His blue eyes which are now shining bright like they should be.

“I hate that I love you Simon, so so much.”

His lips press against mine, gentle and unsure, and careful in a way I didn’t know Simon could be. And Crowley if it doesn’t make me love him more. He pulls away slowly, eyelashes fluttering. But he keeps his hand curled around my neck and I finally, finally allow myself to smile. He smiles back, maybe a little unsure, but he smiles. Crowley it’s beautiful. It’s like the sun coming out from behind clouds.

“I don’t hate you Simon,” I say, “I love you.”

The girls and glitter bombs

So in a few headcannons I mention glitter bombs, here’s sort of the story behind it. Thanks again to @atomicnightbear for the help with ideas over dinner. Also she’s my awesome roommate who likes to talk about the batgirls with me which is often.


- So the glitter bombs started off with Stephanie. She needed a way to express her anger when the boys are being stupid without actually hitting them. Now she just throws glitter bombs at them.

- Cass joined in on this idea. She prefers to use yellow glitter while Stephanie’s was purple.

- Barbara has a few she keeps too just in case. Most of hers are directed at Dick and Bruce though. There was a a few months where Dick couldn’t go a week without getting hit by one.

- Harper took claims on the blue glitter. She doesn’t use them as often but it’s still nice to have to let anger at.

- One of the boys claiming they are better then you, bomb covered in glitter. Just imagine trying to patrol when your costume as glitter on it. Yeah not very sneaky. The black surface of the costumes just lets the glitter reflect better.

- Tim is often the target of most of Stephanie’s. Jason usually gets hit by Cass’s when he kills someone.

-Damian gets hit by everyone’s. He wins for most about of glitter bombs. Once he was hit by all of them at once.

-Duke gets hit the less amount because he ain’t going to piss off the girls. Glitter takes forever to get out.

- It is well known now that if someone is covered in glitter they it means they have pissed off one of the girls.Usually you can tell which one by the color. Alfred makes the person cover in glitter clean up any that gets on his rugs.

- Katie Kane totally joins it as well. Her’s are red. She prefers to use them when everyone is getting all glumly.

- Selina totally joined in. It all started when Bruce was ignoring her for awhile. She took one of Cass’s and just threw it straight for his face. He was not impress. She couldn’t stop laughing.

- One time when fighting Harley and Ivy Stephanie accidentally threw a glitter bomb instead of smoke pellets. Harley was in love with it and figured out how to make some at home. Ivy was not impressed.

- Glitter bombs are suppose to be banned from the batcave. Yeah they ignore that rule.

When Bucky’s sentence appeared on his wrist, his aunt washed his mouth out with soap and the fourteen year old grumbled for ages about how it wasn’t his fault. His ma found him makeup that fit his skin and checked his forearm every morning to make sure that the offensive word was cleaned up before he left for school. Buck thought it was cool, though. Would show the last word of the sentence his soulmate would say, and it always impressed his friends.

…he thought it was less cool when he got older and ended up perking up every time he was challenged to a fight. Which was more often than he wanted, especially after he joined up. They never used quite the right expletive, though, at the end, and he’d loosen up and punch their lights out, glad that this asshole wasn’t his soulmate.

When he got back he didn’t go out too much, didn’t get challenged to fights. Wasn’t worth it, not when he didn’t want to be around people and when it just didn’t seem fair anymore. The other guy would end up on the floor and he’d be flexing his metal hand as he sprinted away, running the words over in his mind. He hadn’t just broken the nose of his soulmate, thank god. 

“Fight me, ass-spelunking fuckboy.”

Bucky hadn’t planned to do more than glance at the guy who was limping out of the alley, clearly not the winner of whatever fight had happened by the bar. But he froze on the spot, his gloved hand going to grab at his forearm, covered by the hoodie. He waited a breath to go over the words in his mind, make sure he’d heard them right.

“Come on,  I was just trying to get a beer..” he muttered, turning a little more. The small blond was glaring up at him, daring him to make a move, but at the words he froze as well and his expression managed to harden.

“This a fucking joke?” He spat, rushing forwards and grabbing Bucky his hoodie. The man was a decent amount shorter than him, already hurting from his last fight, but Bucky couldn’t help but be impressed. “Who put you up to this, huh? Brock? Tony?” Bucky couldn’t tell if he was shaking with fear or rage or just shivering, but he pushed the man off, stepping back to give him enough space to push his sleeve up and show the messy script that had been with him nearly two decades. 

“No joke,” he said, his eyes locked on the tattoo and not the other man. He didn’t want to see the guy’s reaction when he realized that his soulmate was… well, him. “But I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”

The man’s laughter made him want to bolt, but after a second he realized it didn’t sound malicious, just amused. “I bet your parents were happy to see my foul mouth on their boy,” he teased. “You gonna look at me?” Bucky glanced up as the other man pulled his shirt up to show his own phrase inked on his ribs in Bucky’s scrawled cursive. “You gonna let me buy you that beer, uh… what’s your name?” The little smirk on the blond’s face was gorgeous, Bucky realized, and smiled back tentatively.

“Bucky. And sure, you can get the first round. And you are?”

“First round? Sounds like you expect more. Smart. I’m Steve.”

mom: so how’s college going?
me:
me:
me: great

Actual Things that have Happened to Me in College

aka, why I used to say I lived in a sitcom

1. Forgot to go to the caf and eat so many times during college (they kept oddly specific hours, which didn’t match my body clock’s idea of when dinnertime was) that my roommate once conspired with my sister to physically drag me out of my room and lock the door. She didn’t let me back in until she knew I’d eaten something

2. Woke up in the middle of the night my freshman year. Four boys (undoubtedly from the dorm hall known for its pranks) were marching in single file around the entire campus, with penny whistles and banging garbage can lids together shouting “The British Are Coming! The British Are Coming! One if by land and two if by sea!” while they played “Concerning Hobbits”.

3. Sunday nights me, my sister, and one other girl used to just show up in one of the guys’ dorms and be like “Hey guys, let’s play Sardines”, because most of our friends were guys. We found out that you can fit like six people underneath the stairwell. Seven if you’re not claustrophobic. And nobody can see you at all unless you actually go under there. The downside is that there are Spiders.

4. A ten year old Japanese boy solemnly told me that if I were a Pokemon, I’d be Squirtle. Squirtle is, in fact, my favorite starter Pokemon, so I was rather flattered.

5. That One Time I Did Something Stupid And Almost Met A Bobcat

6. Looked out my window one night sophomore year with a crowd of baffled girls to discover a guy in a penguin costume and a guy in a Jar Jar Binks mask staging a mock fight on our front lawn.

7. Went on a walk with a friend in the woods, accidentally saved the life of a small fish that had gotten stuck. Proceeded to have a half-serious discussion with said friend over whether or not the fish would return someday to pay back a debt.

8. Snuck into classes before the teachers so I could draw on the chalkboard/write weird parodies of poems. Eventually the Lit Teacher figured out it was me. I don’t remember if he recognized my handwriting or if someone ratted me out.

Update

So I know I kinda ended all of a sudden a long time ago, but I’m sorry the whole roommate problem was kinda a problem. So she got me to go into trance, and I guess she had me under for several weeks, because I just had that waking up feeling about 12 hours ago, and couldn’t remember anything. Apparently she made me regain my old intelligence, and also caused the file I was using to not work for me anymore. I still feel dumb and horny, but not as much anymore and I can think kinda clear now, and when I tried listening to the file I didn’t go blank like before and didn’t feel any dumber. But spirals still work so that’s good. And remember when I put the bimbo file on my roommates phone? Well its definitely been working, because shes wearing stuff a prostitute would wear and shes getting giggly and starting to sound like a valley girl, but I guess because she doesnt know the file is playing and because she doesnt want any of it to happen it’s taking longer to work.

So I need your guys help, because my old file doesn’t work anymore and I’m too smart. So please send me any spirals or files or anything because I don’t wanna be stuck between smart and dumb forever. And if anyone has any ideas about my roommate then let me know too because I need to get her to where I was before.

I’m so sorry for the big wait but now that I’m back I’ll post more, and you guys can ask me questions or anything so I’ll answer anything you guys send me!!!

STUDY BUDDY // masterlist


Request: Could you maybe write a little short one shot of Kylo helping you, his study buddy, with homework? And he is actually just doing it to spend time with you and legit has no clue how to do the work 😂 thanks I love you and I’m on part 27 of soul mate RN and I’m dying

A/N: Sorry this one took so long! I jump around from requests and don’t do them in order….I really want them to come out good and write them when an idea hits. Thanks for the request anon and I hope you survived Soul Mate!

Warning: None

Word Count: 1.3K+


College was possibly the only schooling you looked forward to most of your life. It wasn’t like you hated school, you just weren’t a big fan of the long and early hours and daily homework’s along with the scheduling. Possibly why college wasn’t so bad on you. Although many people scared you about how tough it’d be throughout your high school years, it ended up not being as bad.

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An entire frozen chicken has appeared in this apartment’s freezer and neither me nor my roommate have any idea how it got in there. The eat-by date on the package is some time in 2018. I didn’t know frozen chicken kept that long…

So let me preface this by saying that my roommate is a really cool dude with lots of progressive ideas. But we had a conversation the other day that really pissed me off. I just got into The Walking Dead (I know, I’m super late) and we were talking about how I’m not a fan of Rick. I mentioned that I found him bland and that I’ve grown pretty sick of the straight white dude protector character.
My straight, white, male roommate goes “Well things like that don’t bother me because I don’t classify characters by race and gender.”
“Well,” I responded, “that’s easy to do when you’re the one represented in everything”
“Oh I forgot, I’m a straight white male, so like Tumblr says, my opinion doesn’t matter.”
“That’s not what I was saying. I just mean when did you see a [insert my personal identity labels here] save their family or the group or whatever in a post apocalyptic setting? Give me a show with a woman saving her husband and sons. Give me a POC scientist saving the world. I’m sick of seeing stories where I know if I flipped the race or gender they would never be made.”
“Hmm well I need some time but I can find a few examples. Just not off the top of my head”
“That’s the problem though -because if I asked you for straight white dude saves everyone stories you wouldn’t need to do research to name them. You have representation.”
“Well then why don’t you stop complaining and make some yourself. Create something.”
“I’m an anthropologist, not a screenwriter. I shouldn’t have to change professions to see myself represented in media”

I didn’t bring it up at the time, but I also just want to add that there are lots of independent creators making amazing, unique, and inclusive content. I’m more concerned with that fact that this representation never makes it into the mainstream media. Hollywood won’t fund stories of they don’t center around white heteronormative people.