i was going to submit this for the reverse bang but i didn’t finish it in time so! have a headcanon post
modern urban witch louis keeps old rum and whisky bottles when he’s done with them to store his herbs and keeps his new spell ideas in a note in his phone. he has to wear shoes around his flat because he’s always got lines of salt on the floor he forgot to sweep up, and more than once he’s done a one-handed tarot reading with his other hand stuck in a bag of crisps, TV playing loudly in the background. he has a shitty office job to pay the bills but on the side he sells potions and spells to a few trusted people – he can’t do anything major, just things like protection and safety sigils when lottie wants to go on holiday to majorca and pain relief solutions when his roommate niall has a headache, but it’s what makes him happiest.
when harry stumbles into his life, it’s because niall bragged about louis’ skills to his friend liam from work, who told his friend harry that there might actually be a solution to the insomnia that’s been plaguing him for months. harry’s tried everything – sleeping pills, therapy, home remedies, hypnotism, you name it – but nothing has worked. normally louis doesn’t do his magic for just anyone: it’s a secret for a reason, and he doesn’t want to be be bombarded by random distant acquaintances begging for magical relief to their own problems, and he’s debating sending harry away. but then harry shows up on louis and niall’s doorstep with deep dark circles under his eyes and the most pathetic look on his face louis has ever seen, and he folds like a stack of tarots.
louis brews up a quick sleep solution (ground smoky quartz crystal for stress, valerian root for a hypnotic, passionflower for anxiety, and 100 proof vodka to make it go down) and pretends he doesn’t notice the green of harry’s eyes or the wide set of his shoulders (all while harry is trying not to gape at this actual witch, who not only is not green-skinned and warty like he expected but actually, um, really fucking attractive). harry thanks louis profusely when he leaves, takes the solution when he gets home, and sleeps for almost fifteen hours.
he shows up again the next day to shower louis in more effusive thanks and to get more of the solution, and louis valiantly tries to control the blush that heats his cheeks when harry declares him “the greatest person on the planet in the history of ever, i’m pretty sure.”
then harry turns up the next day as well, this time on the excuse that he stubbed his toe and he was pretty sure he’d never be able to walk again. louis tucked his smile away, called harry a drama queen, and gave him a pain relief potion.
and then the next day he was back again, claiming he didn’t feel bad yet but he was pretty sure he was about to come down with something, like a cold or maybe ebola.
and then it’s like he’s there every day on flimsier and flimsier excuses. (”louis, i’m being serious, i think i have gout. or, like, scurvy.” “harry, you walked in eating an orange, i think you’re fine.”) harry’s favorite thing to do is to sit and watch louis as he goes about his normal business, brewing special teas for his sisters and reading tarot cards for niall, who likes to be prepared for the coming week. niall, who got used to the magic business a long time ago, sits and keeps harry from sticking his fingers into anything he shouldn’t, or from accidentally knocking over the bottle of home-grown nightshade.
luckily, louis doesn’t mind one bit.
eventually, harry adds louis-designed protection sigils to his already extensive tattoo collection, and has learned to avoid the strategic piles of salt scattered around louis’ flat. their first date is a midnight picnic on the roof of harry’s building, picking distant star patterns out of the sky and sharing tentative, sweet kisses.
for their first anniversary, louis carves the rune for true love into a jade pendant and blushes wildly when he tells harry what it means.
“it’s um. it means true love.”
harry pulls louis close, wide-eyed and starstruck, “aw, lou. i love you too.” and then he leans back, grinning wildly. “looks like you’ve got me under your spell.”
harry’s still laughing when louis pinches him in the side for the terrible pun, but he stops quick enough when louis gives him something else to do with his mouth instead.
here are some more trojan hcs that no one asked for
there are two dead ants in the corner of laila and alvarez’s dorm, which alvarez has named cabbage and theodore. laila insists they get rid of them. alvarez says she can’t just throw away her children like that
jeremy has a habit of walking into a room distracted by his phone (usually twitter or texts with kevin), and he’ll stop in the middle of the room and just sit on the floor, continuing to text
this leads jean to constantly trip over him because he’s not expecting jeremy to be sitting right inside the doorway when he comes back from class
laila could not for the life of her figure out how to double-knot her shoelaces until she was a junior in high school
jeremy has zero navigational sense. at all. jean has to do both the navigating and the driving when they’re in the car together. road trips are a nightmare
alvarez has a tattoo of a little astronaut on her arm, just because she thought it looked cool (it does)
jean and laila are always competing at something. sometimes they get identical puzzles and see who can put them together fastest, sometimes it’s shopping cart races at walmart at three in the morning. there’s a pair of freshman backliners that somehow always end up in the baskets of these shopping carts
laila is Terrible at math, and is very frequently getting basic equations wrong
the biggest argument laila and jean have ever had is over whether fruity pebbles or fruit loops were better. laila was all for fruit loops, and jean insisted fruity pebbles were superior. they didn’t talk for three days after
jean gets rid of all the black in his wardrobe now that he’s no longer with the ravens. everything is colorful and bright, socks and shoes included
alvarez’s favorite nail polish color is called “hush money” purely because it’s called “hush money”
jeremy is really good friends with a sophomore striker, and he’ll take her out for breakfast every few weeks, and they’ll talk about new episodes of whatever anime they’re both watching, or a recipe jeremy really wants to try, or how the sophomore’s girlfriend accidentally dyed her hair orange
laila loves strawberries. so much.
jeremy has, on several occasions, stopped the car because he saw a dog he wanted to pet
jean and laila have two fish that they take care of together, named butter and hargrove the eighth
alvarez used to figure skate. she takes laila on ice skating dates all the time partly because laila is terrible at ice skating and alvarez thinks this is adorable, but also partly because she really likes to show off
if she knows jean is having a hard time sleeping, alvarez will just send him a continuous stream of memes. most contain cats
jeremy has reading glasses
(jean Loves jeremy’s reading glasses)
laila is demiromantic
alvarez loves poetry, she has an entire shelf on her bookcase dedicated to her favorite collections, and has some of her favorite poems memorized. instead of singing/humming to herself when she’s spacing out, she’ll very quietly recite these poems
jean can do a perfect impersonation of lightning mcqueen, and very frequently uses it to make some of the freshmen laugh