this was like 100 dollars

Some Belated Valentines 2k17 Highlights from Flower Land

- The giant Russian man who stormed through the door while we were quite busy and shouted “Whoooo is helping me? I need BEST FLOWERS in the WORLD because I have BEST WIFE!!”
- The old man who picked up his roses at 8 AM and when I said “I hope she likes them!” giggled and said “These oughta keep me outta the dog house for at least a week!”
- At 3 PM: “I need a delivery of tulips to the south side today.” “We aren’t doing any more deliveries to the south side today.” “I should tell you that this is on behalf of my client {Redacted Football Player} of The Bears and he is willing to pay literally anything.”
- “Hey, boss, I have an order from FootballPlayer of The Bears and he is willing to pay literally anything.” “Don’t you mean FootballPlayer of The Bears FOR NOW?”
-“Okay tell him we’ll do it but he has to buy all our remaining tulips.”
- One guy wanted to buy a teddy bear holding a real rose so I made a teeny tiny rose bouquet for the bear to hold and it is easily the cutest thing I have ever made.
- This same guy grabbed a 55 dollar
arrangement from my table and brought it to me and said “Add flowers to this until it is 200 dollars.”
- Valentine’s Day makes some men crazy.
- When the last man came in to pick up his arrangement twenty minutes after we were supposed to close everyone who was working shouted his name in unison and it was Hilarious.
- All the parents sending flowers to their single professional daughters. Almost all of them made me teary. People from all over the country have daughters who live in Chicago and are single and they all wanted to send their single Chicago daughters flowers.
- “A man is calling and he says you are his best friend?” “What?” “He has an Eastern European accent?” “OH! It’s the man who has the best wife!”
- “I would like 100 roses.” “That will be 600 dollars.” “I would like 12 roses.”

They’re too nice to fight each other what are you even talking about.

i spent 4578 yen to celebrate valentine’s day reading nothing but manga…

i was cleaning my room at home and i found a box my mom kept full of all my school work from when i was little. one of the things in there was this list from kindergarten. on the 100th day of school we did all these “100” themed activities and one of them was finishing the sentence, “i wish i had 100…” let me tell you, a genie would have a field day with all the vague as shit wishes we came up with. like little kids probably wish the most as an age group and yet they all suck at it. like, okay, katie wished for 100 dollars, right? but then sam comes in and she wished for 100 toonies. that’s 200 dollars! katie looks like a god damn idiot! but hold on because then jonathan wished for 100 monies, like, plural of money. so he wished for 100 different kinds of currency in any amount. that could be one american penny and then 99 penny equivalents or millions of dollars in euros and pounds and stuff. still, strange wish to leave open to interpretation. 

keane, now keane had a more sensible take on the money wish. keane wished for 100 pieces of gold. a timeless metal coveted by ancient and modern cultures alike. clearly he knew something we didn’t.

what else did people wish for? ronald wished for 100 toys. shannon, i shit you not, shannon wished for 100 “boxes to put my toys in.” ronald was basically wishing just to get on shannon’s level while she was just like, “give me a gift card to the container store.” looking through the list there’s a lot of weird one upping. like a lot of weird passive aggressive stuff. katie b wished for 100 dresses, melanie countered with 100 fancy dresses. like she wanted dresses too, but had to clarify just to make katie b feel like she had shit taste. me, i wished for 100, get this, cats. you could not pay me to take a cat today, i want nothing to do with cats. apparently in kindergarten i wanted an insane, borderline illegal number of them. i have a feeling i was making this wish to impress someone else, like you know when you pretended to like a band in high school to have something in common with your crush? this was like that only magic and more…allergenic. my friend connor wished for 100 kitty cats. little baby cats. kind of a dick move, right? like you know i’d end up with 100 weird old cats, 179 eyes between them, all on their deathbeds. andre wanted 100 cars at what, age 5? he wanted to open a used dealership and needed inventory. joanne wanted 100 presents, which is different than wanting 100 of something more specific. like a present is a personal thing someone gives to someone else. she basically wanted people to think of her and get her something nice. i wish i could track everyone down and do an updated list. oh man, you know what i’d say if someone wished for 100 kitty cats? i’d wish for 100 pregnant cats. that’s like 200-700 cats or something. dammit connor where are you.

okay bud look

i dont do undertale stuff as a hobby (occasionally i’ll be commissioned to do some undertale stuff, and that i have no problem with, but i just dont casually find a lot of joy in it anymore). that much has been established.

but i’ll be god damned if i ever deny that it’s where i got my start.

and for that reason, i feel like if i dont buy the undertale special edition, i’d be committing a crime.

I have no money, of course, but I’m not going to just ask for it or do random commissions for it.

I wanna do, like, a really brief campaign. I don’t know how much it’s going to be. If I were to guess, I’d say it’ll be in the range of $60-$100.

The campaign would be something like “For every 10 dollars accumulated, I will voice a popular requested comic” or something, but I don’t know for sure.

Maybe something like “donate however much you want, and when you donate you make a request, and then for every 10 dollars that I get, I put all of the donations that make up those 10 dollars into a random number picker, and whoever gets picked gets their request voiced”.

Can I get some ideas? I am not a creative man.

youtube

“I Don’t Even Smoke” by Stick and Poke (2016)

For this one, I flew out to Vancouver to hang with the wonderful people of Stick and Poke. I’d compare it very closely to the last Mischief Brew music video, with a much smoother execution. For that video, we didn’t rehearse the blocking as much as we made it up as we went. The actions in the background for that one were generally made up for each take. For this one, we actually spent an entire night rehearsing, running through several takes so we’d have it down pat when people showed up, and generally stuck to that pretty closely while shooting.

Originally our takes were coming in a bit fast, but once we really slowed down and paced ourselves through the house, we started nailing it. The Mischief Brew video took 14 complete takes, so the goal was to finish it in less than that. In the end we had 13 takes, 5 of which were passable as final cuts, and we narrowed it down to this one from there!

What would being Allura’s girlfriend be like?

Being Allura ’s girlfriend would mainly consist of:

-You both get dressed up in evening dresses and go to fancy dinners together often, though she’d think you looked elegant and beautiful in jeans.

-Being treated to random jewellery and clothes and whatever. You like that necklace? It’s yours now. It’s nearly 100 dollars? Doesn’t matter - you deserve it.

-She can get irritated when if she thinks you’re flirting with other people, but it’s just because she loves you so much and doesn’t want to share you.

-Loves going shopping with you, she’ll happily spend hours in Sephora with you, and will insist on paying. She will INSIST.

-Similarly, she’ll be happy to play Mario Kart with for a seemingly infinite amount of time. She’s always Princess Peach though - no arguments. Allura will also always let you win, though she’ll never admit it.

-Couples snapchats. Her camera roll with be filled with pictures of you and her with the dog filters, the butterfly filters, but also just pictures of you because she loves you so much.

-She adores watching the stars with you, often she’ll turn off the lights and systems in the castles and will sit with you hand in hand, gazing at the beautiful galaxies - though she’ll probably spend more time looking at you.

-Hates when you put yourself into danger, and can occasionally outburst that she doesn’t want to ever lose you if she gets especially upset or worried about you. Won’t mention it later on though, she’d pretend that it never happened.

-All in all though, lots of hugs, kisses, and hand holding. She loves snuggling up together with you and resting her chin on your head or running her fingers through your hair or braiding it into little plaits.

~ mod pidge 👽 (nice to meet you all btw!)

School!AU NCT Dream

Originally posted by pinkpopcorn99

Request(s): 

Anonymous said: Hello, this is probably a weird request ( you don’t have to do it) But being the only girl in dream would include??? If you do it thank you. Love your work

Anonymous said: Being the only girl in dream would include??? Thank you.

A/N: ok so this is probably not what u guys meant but gjrhgjrhgjhzjg see me and my friend were discussing this and we thought ‘,,damn i dont think s.m would rlly have a reason to randomly put a girl in nct dream’ and this is actually a v weird request BUT there’s always smth for everything rite and so i decided to make this kind of a school au??agjrhgjh it’s going to be based on the anime ouran high school host club and i rlly rlly hope u enjoy this!!!!<3


  • ok so basically
  • ur a new girl at school and it’s not j u s t a school its a school for rlly rich kids
  • and honestly u have no idea how u got into that school but apparently one of ur aunts worked there and she thought that u would like to go to that school!!!
  • she’s a rlly cool and chill aunt
  • and she even showed u around the school and gave u ur uniform for FREE bc it actually cost like probs smth around 100 dollars but lol do u think i would pay that
  • anways
  • mind u it’s a school day
  • and there r students walking around and they’re all pretty much staring at u and ur like ‘,,,haha’ bc pls 
  • so ur aunt tells u to change ur clothes in the bathroom so u can try out a day at school and if u don’t like it u won’t have to go ahjfehjhe
  • ofc u change ur clothes quickly
  • but when u leave the bathroom u see that ur aunt isn’t there anymore and ur like “shit.”
  • obviously you’ll have to look for her and it’s :”)) bc u don’t KNOW where she could be
  • suddenly tho!!
  • ping ping
  • a message from ur aunt!!
  • she texted u saying that the principal called her and she had to go back to her office and if u were done that u could just go to her office
  • problem is
  • you don’t know where the office is
  • yikes
  • so you’re there, in a huge ass school that look like a castle and somehow you’re aunt expects you to find your way to her office 
  • gr8
  • u end up knocking on each door and opening them which is kind of embarrassing sometimes seeing that there are classes :))
  • okay but there was this one door that kind of gave u weird vibes???
  • but still u knocked lmao bc why not 
  • no one answered????
  • but for some reason the door opened???
  • ofc u open it a bit more and walk in
  • probably expecting to find ur aunt b u t
  • it’s not ur aunt
  • when u open the door, instead of finding ur lovely aunt u find 7 boys and literally you’re so confused like bois dont u have class
  • ok but lbr tho
  • you’d probably stare at them for a good minute bc like
  • shit they’re all so cute????what the???
  • obviously they’re staring at u too bc like ??what’s a girl doing here??
  • ajhjghjehg there r two bois tho, jeno and jaemin and they both walk over to u and they’re like “hello there~”
  • ur still a bit shook but u say hello too
  • still highkey confused as to what the fuck’s happening
  • and u ask them who they are and they’re like “we’re a music club!!we’re the dream team ^^“
  • and their leader mark lee, presents u to all of them 
  • afhjehrjgh and basically u end up staying w these 7 bois the whole day
  • and they’re like “y/n!!!!we’re ur friends now right??”
  • ofc ur like “yes??”
  • and that’s the start to ur friendship w the dream team
  • everyone at school refers to u as ‘the girl in the dream team’
  • ahfjrhg ur not actually in the team but ur a friend of them who just hangs out w them all the time??
  • like ur not in their music team but ur still one of their best friends
  • tbh they’d always go to u for advice w girls
  • or advice on their clothing
  • if ur on ur period tho
  • do not worry
  • bc they will be so careful ajfehjfh AND they’ll buy u every food u want
  • nana and jeno would call u princess afjhefjejf
  • ur donghyuck’s n.1 target tho for pranks rip
  • and jisung and chenle’s pranks
  • basically u always get pranked
  • its ok bc renjun will scold them 
  • also u can always go to renjun when you’ve got any problems w schoolwork
  • ajhefhef mark is also always taking care of u
  • basically ur like super loved within the whole group
  • but who knows
  • maybe one of them fell in love w u
  • ;)

singingartbird  asked:

within a DAY we have had: tumblr and twitter bios change, thumbnail changes and morse codes in tags, we've had an insta photo of schneeplestein WITH CREEPY ASS LIGHTING AND ZALGO TEXT and a post saying "do not hear his lies". Either Anti is on the BRINK of appearing or idfk anymore because Jack is literally turning us into PUPPETS (still love this tho)

I am willing to bet all of you guys 100 dollars that we see him like, tomorrow or something. He’s throwing a lot at us at once tho like Jesus boy, let us recover

cat hybrid!Joshua

okay but imagine cat hybrid joshua:

  • you found him on the streets (idk how, he’s so sweet)
  • he was a kitten at the time, couldn’t shapeshift into human form
  • and so you’re like “omgomgomg kitten leT’S ADOPT IT”
  • so you pick him up and he like immediately nuzzles up 2 you
  • and he’s so sweet at first
  • you’re melting
  • once you get to your apartment, you start taking care of him
  • and he just will not leave u alone
  • u are his favorite
  • and so timeskip a few months
  • he’s technically aged in the cat world
  • so one day ur out getting groceries and stuff
  • and then u come home
  • and u’re like “JOOOSH I GOT FOOD” bc he learned his name
  • and all of a sudden this lanky ass boy comes outta ur room and ur like
  • “what the everliving fuck”
  • and he just tiredly wipes his eyes like he woke up from a nap
  • before he realizes he shifted and is currently shirtless
  • and he’s like
  • “ooooopssss…. lmao”
  • and ur like
  • “…..who r u and where is my baby”
  • and he almost chokes like
  • “pls stop calling me that”
  • and ur like “………..JOS H IS THAT U”
  • and he just kinda smiles awkwardly and nods
  • and you almost die bc welp that’s why he always loved eating ur food and not the cat food
  • so like if he stays in human form we’ll pretend he ages like a human and he’s 21 rn
  • a few months later you’re just used to him being like this now
  • it’s like having a roommate but he doesn’t pay anything,,,
  • and he asks a lot of questions too like
  • “what’s that thing u’ve always called pizza”
  • and u’re just like “LMAO DO I HAVE A TREAT FOR YOU”
  • and that is the first day he tastes pizza and
  • let me just say, he looked like he was in absolute heaven
  • anyways
  • he pops into cat mode randomly and you’re like
  • “jesu s christ u scared me”
  • and he just chuckles
  • lots of purring even when in human form
  • if you take him out in public, he’s like a child
  • he runs around a lot
  • asks what things are
  • excitedly ask you to buy him something
  • and you’re like “that’s 100 dollars josh” and he’s like “but it’s shiny and i like it”
  • he quickly turns into your best friend
  • never leaves you alone
  • he even insists on sharing your room with you
  • of course, you dont care since he’s innocent and just likes sleep but
  • it’s a bit annoying if he’s in human form and rolls over and u wake up w/ his arm over u (not that u dont think it’s adorable)
  • you find yourself falling really hard for him
  • and he’s clueless
  • but one day he’s watching tv and there’s a kiss scene
  • and he’s like 
  • “do non-couples do that too?” and you’re like “sometimes yeah but they usually date afterwards
  • and he just tilts his head
  • “so that’d be okay for me to do to you?” so innocently
  • and you’re like “dsjagfgfldg what josh” and he just shrugs
  • b4 you can even say anything he just suddenly leans over and kisses you
  • and you freeze like
  • “this isnt okay he’s a cat” but secretly ur insides are like “you know u like it
  • so after that, josh becomes really clingy and he wont leave you alone
  • just like an overprotective boyfriend
  • and when you ignore him he’ll hug you from the back or he’ll switch to cat form and lay in ur lap
  • until finally one day he’s like
  • “you’ve been weird since monday. what’s wrong?”
  • and you’re like
  • not ready to confess AT ALL
  • but he needs truth
  • and you cave in
  • “bc i really like you and im afraid you did it just out of curiosity instead of geniune feeling”
  • and he pauses bc he doesn’t exactly know what you mean by genuine feeling
  • but he like feels his heartrate speed up when he’s around u so he presumes it’s that
  • and he’s like
  • “no, it was out of genuine feeling, i think”
  • and you’re like
  • “wdym you think”
  • and he goes
  • “i mean, i get all nervous and my heartbeat speeds up around you,,, is that genuine feeling?”
  • and you’re like “definitely”
  • and then he’s like “well, let this solidify that”
  • and he kisses u again
  • you know he means it that time
  • and he’s like
  • “can we become one of those couples on tv?” and you chuckle
  • but you nod
  • and happily ever after
  • -admin L
"You didn't go to college, you just went to beauty school."

When people say, “You didn’t go to college. You went to beauty school.”
Yes, I went to “beauty school”. But it is considered a secondary education. Which is more than most people a around here do. What I do is a trade/skill you learn. But if it’s “just beauty school” then why don’t more people go and learn that trade. I think it’s unfair and belittling to me to say I “just went to beauty school.” Because what you don’t know about beauty school at least in West Virginia is; I had to pay for school out of pocket (10,500) over the corse of my time there. So on top of the fact beauty school is a 40 hour a week program I had to work another 20 hours waiting tables to get my school payment. And beauty school isn’t like, “oh I don’t feel like going today.” Because if you miss one day guess what you’re behind on hours. Oh you didn’t know that, yes beauty school is based on an 1,800 hour schedule. Which also means, no winter break or summer break. So for over a year of my life, I “just went to beauty school.” Then after that year was done I had to dish out another 100 dollars to take a test to become a cosmetologist. (Yes that’s right I have a proper title, I’m not a hair stylist, I’m a licensed Cosmetologist.) I had to drive almost two hours away from home to spend all day proving I learned the safety and sanitation and proper application method of my skill which takes every bit of 4-5 hours and there is no sitting. Then after that I had to then take two comprehensive tests. One was general knowledge of cosmetology, the other was state law. (Another fun fact, every state has different laws.) Once you are finished with your tests you are allowed to leave. Only to find out you have to wait to get your test scores. And if you fail, depending on what you fail, you have to pay to retake that test again. And it’s not like five dollars either it’s another 50-100 dollars, again depending on what you failed.
So it’s “just beauty school” you say. If it’s “just beauty school” why don’t you do it and stop mocking me for me. And I’m a cosmetologist, not a hair stylist.

anonymous asked:

I. Am. Not. A. Bank. For the love of god. I don't know what it is about a movie theater that screams "break all your big bills here!" but like clockwork every week around payday people bring these 100 dollar bills and completely wipe out my register within four transactions. Your ticket is 6.50. You sir, are an asshole. And I can't even turn them away because management has a stupid rule about always accepting cash, even when it empties my register and I need change six times in one shift.

I was doodling Le Chiffre stuff maybe a couple weeks back and completely forgot what I originally planned to do with them. I found this one and honestly it just seems funnier if I leave the second part blank.
It looks like Le Chiffre probably just makes a “myeh” sound everytime someone talks to him.
Like imagine…

“Le Chiffre,you’ve lost over 100 million dollars”
“Myeh”
“Le Chiffre,you’re bleeding from your eye again”
“Myeh”
“Le Chiffre,Bond has escaped”
“Myeh”
“Le Chiffre, you’re so hot. I wanna sleep with you”
“…..Myeh”

i forgot to tell you about the guy with the yale credit card last night & he said ‘you need to take the tax off our tab, we’re tax exempt’ (note the rude as fuck wording)

like, first off, be fucking polite
second, nah, you haven’t worked out the whole tax ID/cleared it with our management ahead of time
billiondy-eleventh, you took up one out of eight of our tables for six hours & ordered four appetizers, one burger, four beers & one soda, all basically one at a time, & your tab is $100 dollars, so

like, pay the state some fucking taxes you cheapskate, entitled shithead, you drove on state roads to get here (parks n rec craig yelly voice)

also, sidenote, fuck you/pay me, cause guess who definitely pays taxes on her tips? & you prevented me from seating what could have been two or three more parties during our dinner rush at your table while you pretended to be interested in the conversation & they fake laughed at all your jokes cause you paid