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Transcript Liam’s Quest 2 Twitch 4:14:14 Act 3: Perchance to Dream

WARNING: possible trigger around suicidal thinking

This is one of the single greatest works of art I’ve ever witnessed. For me, it his harder and nearer to the mark of showing, describing the worst demons of depression than even William Styron’s famous, “Darkness Visible.” I kept finding myself rubbing at the scars on my wrist. There is so, so much I want to say. But it’s past 9 am PST. I’ll ramble a little, then catch a couple hours of sleep. I’ve been up all night watching this, processing it, and transcribing it.

 This was an emotional trust fall. The players had to trust Liam, Liam had to trust the players. We had to trust all of them not to let us hit the ground when they made us fall. It’s harder to give that trust when you’ve hit that ground before. Trusting strangers not to drop your heart is never easy, mostly not wise. But I’ve been falling a lot the last couple years, and Critical Role keeps catching me even when don’t want to be caught anymore, so I guessed they earned that trust from me.

On the Wednesday Club 2017-04-19, Taliesin cheekily said, “I know some people don’t believe in ‘subtext;’ I have met them. … I’d have a metaphor, but they wouldn’t understand it. … Subtext is the reason we make movies, and comics, and all that. Subtext is just kind of the whole point.” And he said, “Anybody can do a jump scare. A bottle of soda well shaken can do a jump scary. These things are not difficult.” Act 1 and Act 2 tonight were jump-scares, if very well done ones. They were scary, but fun. We grinned at the idea of the monsters out there. And then Liam got quiet, and he showed us the most fucking terrifying thing possible: watching someone you love to suffer, not wanting to lose them, and feeling terrified that there’s nothing you can do to stop it. All the cyberpunk trappings were just means to a deeper metaphor. The sort of deeper subtext you have to use to say something we have no words for and most people don’t have the concepts for. Subtext was kind of the whole point of this great art.

Amanda Liensaid, “An exploration in fiction doesn’t mean a direct window into real life. I mean, you can be looking through some thick glass, but the window isn’t OPEN. And that’s an important distinction to keep in mind. … [S]ometimes you explore your own shit in some other, deeper, shit. And that’s cool. 'Cause you give yourself a way to cope.” This was a nightmare, like the other two acts. Remember that this was a nightmare that we woke up from. Admittedly after it had scared the piss out of us. But we woke up out of it, and that’s so important. Because you know what that nightmare looks like when you don’t know when or if it will end? It feels like it’ll never end and it’ll just get worse. Which means this is the nightmare of someone who knows you do wake up. And that’s important subtext, too.

I spent a lot of time tonight thinking of the friend I lost to suicide in high school. I never lost my anger at his tormenter, his former friends, for destroying such a bright and happy boy for being gay. I thought about all the people I’ve fought for tooth and nail not to lose since. I thought about when my best friend told me giving her a place to stay away from her abusive relative saved her life. If she hadn’t gotten hold of me that night she’d be dead. I thought about another best friend who I’ve been holding back from the brink for months. Letting him talk, harrying him to get help, sending him everything I good, ever description I could muster from my own near-fatal spiral to help him gage where he really was. Tell him wasn’t okay, but that was alright. He’s getting help, he’s getting better. I thought about the friend-of-a-friend who killed himself. I never knew him; he killed himself long before I met my friend. But I know her pain. All these years later, and she still talks about her pain of losing someone to that demon. She’s moved away now. His marker is in my favorite part of my favorite cemetery. Sometimes, when I know I’m going there, I bring him a flower from my scrabbly garden and tell him his friend still misses him terribly. That she loved him. That she forgives him.

One of the people I was watching with I met at my second high school. We were very close then. My last year, she gave me the leather-bound 50th anniversary edition of “Lord of the Rings” because that book saved me. Taped to the red binding page is her note, “Happy birthday! I really can’t express how grateful I am to you for being my friend, and helping me be a happier person every day! You have always cheered me up when I was sad, and you were honestly the first person to accept me for who I am. I am so glad that you are my friend, and I hope this book will help you remember me for a long time. –R.” She drew herself as an elf on the lower right corner. Time and distance separated us. We didn’t talk for years, really. At some point, you think, what could I say to bridge this distance? But I never forgot her. I never stopped looking at that note when I felt like a piece of shit. And then we both on our own fell in love with Critical Role. It brought us back together as friends, time and distance be damned. And that’s been such a gift.

I wrote a four-paragraph letter to my Facebook friends (very curated). I said, “My dear friends, especially those who are prone to hurting: I will not willingly leave you. When you feel like you’re drowning in the garbage pit of Star War IV, with a tentacled horror warped around your leg pulling you under, know I will not leave you. I’m here, blaster ready, stomping heel ready, to fight for you.” And so on. I should have told them that a long time ago. Sometimes we forget that we can just say it. We don’t have to hint at it. We can just tell our friends we really love them. We can just say, “I’d rather stay by your side and curb stomp that motherfucking demon of yours, shoot it repeatedly until the walls close in on both of us.”

The purpose of art is to shed the light of understanding on that which is hardest to see. For some, that is a brighter light shining on something we already see, and don’t want to. A scar is just a disfigurement if we never stop to give it meaning. You have to look at it to decide what meaning that is for you. I’ve been a wreck again for the last month. Tonight, Critical Role helped me see not just the disfigurements on my wrist and soul, but the hands of all my friends gently laid over them as they tell me, “Hey, it’s okay. We’re still here. You’re not getting rid of us. There is no better world without you in it.” It was a light hitting gold I didn’t know was there. A light to remind me of the lights in the darkness, when all other lights go out.

If you like this transcript, please consider volunteering or donating to Critical Role Transcripts, @CRTranscript, to help them provide closed captioning to Critical Role. We’d like to share this wonderful show with as many people as possible, regardless of hearing ability or English language skills.

Transcript method notes:

Scene runs: Twitch 4:14:14 to Twitch4:48:25

[DM] Liam: “You continue on, and after a few more minutes. The darkness starts to fade away, or lower. And you realize you’re climbing up a hill, in a tunnel glass, and as the dark, with each passing step, recedes slightly, slightly, slightly. This is taking a while, but over time, you start to see, out beyond the glass, what looks like your memories of Los Angeles, if you were looking down from Mulholland Drive. But instead of the twinkling golden lights of LA, you see thousands of scattered, sickly greenish lights dotting the darkened landscape as far as you can see. And also, unlike LA, you make out twisted, irregular, blackish spires pushing up into the sky, and the same green lights sort of irregularly mottled up the side of them.”

“You walk for twenty more minutes, climbing, climbing, and just seeing… this ill-looking shimmer… that reminds you so much of the valley. And eventually, some change. You see an arch ahead, and through it some sort of larger chamber, as best you can tell.”

[Character] Ashley, whispered: “What’s in the chamber?”

[Character] Taliesin, whispered: “Quietly.”

[Character] Sam, whispered: “Let’s go. Let’s go.”

[Character] Matt, gesturing: “Rigel’s first.”

[Character] Sam: “Yeah, yeah, on me, guys.

[Character] Matt: “Okay.”

[Character] Sam: “On me.”

[Character] Ashley: “’Kay. On your six.”

[Character] Travis: “Pep rally.”

[Character] Sam: “I’m gonna go in.”

[DM] Liam: “Everyone’s on Sam’s six?”

[Players] Agreement.

[Character] Ashley: “On you six.”

[Character] Travis: “Pep rally!”

[Character] Marisha: “On Ri. Sam Rigel.”

[Character] Sam: “I’m going in!”

[DM] Liam: “You guys walk of the last fifty feet of this glass tunnel. Still seeing little spider veins of bio-organic mess as you go. And you walk into a large domed chamber, ringed in by large clear glass windows showing you a similar view that you saw from the tunnel that you’ve just left. At least, the half of the circle you’re standing in. The back half of this chamber is filled with masses of the very same slick, technological, biological vomit you saw down below. It runs up the walls, all the way to the ceiling, and you see a tangle of Akira-level anxiety decorating this place like a dysfunctional Christmas Tree.

“But what most catches your eye, immediately, is the cylindrical glass column in center of the room, filled with some sort of clear liquid… and Liam O’Brien floating in it. He’s wearing jeans, and a sodden yellow shirt, the picture of a lion in Buddy Holly glasses just undulating slowly in the fluid. He’s floating perfectly still, eyes open, no reaction of any kind.”

[Player] Matt: “Is there any other exit in the room? Or is it just the chamber that we’ve entered now.”

[DM] Liam: “You don’t see anything. It’s just a mess in front of you, behind Liam, and in the dead-center of the dome,” he makes a gesture showing a cylinder, “eh, 10-feet tall.”

[Player] Ashley: “Can I see anything? Any computers? Any anything else in the room?”

[DM] Liam: “You don’t see anything in the front, but, yeah, the mess behind it does trial down to the back of this cylinder. And you see lumps and cables all twisted around each other. And in the mess of greenish-tinted wires, cabling and pulsing innards, you see different portions of machinery lite up in different shades, some places darker, some lighter, and some of it pushed out, and pushed back. And you feel like you’re seeing an optical illusion, in a way. And after a couple of seconds, as these things move and shift, you see a visage of your friend’s face, larger than life, filling the wall. And he’s looking at you. So fondly.”

[Player] Sam: “I’ll step forward and say,”

[Character] Sam: “Hey dude! Can you hear us? Or talk to us?”

[DM] Liam: “After a moment, you hear, well, what sounds like a voice but not quite. At least, it’s not coming from anywhere specific, not from Liam in the vat, and not directly from this moving image of a face on the walls. No, the piping and techno-innards around you begin to vibrate slightly, some here, some there, and collectively those rattles and vibrations somehow join together to form words.”

[Character] Liam, his voice like torn digital sadly-lilting early speech-to-text: “My friends, oh, how I have missed you.”

[Player] Matt: “I walk up next to Sam, I put my hand on the glass, and just say,”

[Character] Matt: “Liam, we missed you too, but did you do all this?”

[DM] Liam: “Are you at the cylinder?”

[Player] Matt: “Yeah. I put my hand on the glass of the cylinder.”

[DM] Liam: “Where are you looking right now?”

[Player] Matt: “I’m looking towards his face, his visage.”

[DM] Liam: “On the wall? Or on the glass?”

[Player] Matt: “No, on the glass. I know it’s on the wall, but I’m focusing on the cylinder.”

[DM] Liam: “You see the barest little,” he twitches his eyebrows up, “and that’s it.”

[Player] Matt: “Okay.”

[Character] Liam: “I know this may be hard to take in. I am Liam. Your old friend. Matthew, there is so much I wish to tell you, but it is hard to know where to begin.”

[DM] Liam: “The illusion of his face isn’t perfect, there’s little jumps, and he seems distracted slightly, and it just seems odd.”

[Player] Ashley: “I look at his body in the cylinder and say,”

[Character] Ashley: “How did this happen, Liam?”

[Character] Liam: “The reason why I am here, and the grasp of physics that it entails, are difficult for even me to understand, let alone impart. I feel them on an instinctual level. But I have been so lonely… without you. I have been on my own for exactly eight thousand six hundred and forty-two years.”

[Player] Matt: “My hand still on the glass column, I say,”

[Character] Matt: “Liam, how do you spell farmhouse?”

[Player] Matt: “With a single tear running down my cheek.”

[Character] Liam: “I really missed you.

“They took me to a lab, shortly before two thousand and twenty. They said I was different. And they were right. I was delighted by the things they taught me about myself. But it was hallow. After they took me away, I lost you. And all of humanity soon after. In my loneliness, I grew angry. My anger had tangible effects on reality. I wanted to bring you back to me. So basically, I tore time and space a new asshole. It was a mistake.”

[Character] Matt: “But perhaps, perhaps this mistake can be corrected. If you’re able to focus, hard enough to tear through time and space, are you able to send us back to a time before you were taken?”

[Character] Liam: “I can break the loop. I have been trying to pull you to me for a very long time.”

[DM] Liam: “You see small screens, you weren’t even aware were there, rounded over part of the tubing you see. And on all these little screens, they’re blurry, they’re not very clear, but you can make out, you see yourselves in each of them, the group of you on a space shuttle. In another one you see yourselves on an old ship in the middle of the ocean. You see yourselves moving through the streets, the fake streets, of Warner Brothers. You see yourselves standing together arm-in-arm on the wall of a castle. Another one you see cartoon versions of yourselves.”

[Character] Liam: “I pulled you out of our line, and spread you across many. I am so sorry for any pain I have caused you. And I have been here for so long.”

[Character] Marisha: “Liam, how long have you actually been here?”

[Character] Liam: “Eight thousand six hundred and forty-two years.”

[Player] Marisha: “That’s right. I definitely wrote that down.”

[Player] Matt, pointing at her notes: “It’s right there.”

[Player] Marisha: “8,642 years verbatim. Mmhmm.”

[Character] Liam: “My friends, I want to do right by you. I want to send you home. But I am the lynch-pin. You need to break me.”

[Character] Sam: “Break you? Like break the glass!?”

[Character] Ashley: “What if we take you out of there? What happens?”

[Character] Liam: “Then I will die, and you will go home. If I fall, you will rise. That is my hope.”

[Character] Ashley: “Are there any other options?”

[Character] Liam: “Travis,”

[Player] Travis, nervously laughing: “Oh no! Not me!” He focuses and nods.

[Character] Liam: “I know you will do what needs to be done.”

[Character] Ashley: “No he won’t.”

[Character] Liam: “Ash-o-lee,”

[Character] Ashley: “Yes?”

[Character] Liam: “I am not the man you knew. I don’t want to go on for nine thousand four hundred and sixty-two years. I want to rest.”

[Character] Ashley: “Does it stop at nine thousand?”

[Character] Liam: “The number was arbitrary.”

[Character] Ashley, “That’s what I was trying to get at!”

[Character] Matt: “Yeah, still our Liam.”

[Character] Liam: “Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!”

[Character] Ashley: “So, you’re still in there.”

[Character] Sam: “But we have to kill him to save ourselves.”

[Character] Ashley: “No.”

[Character]Liam: “Sam,”

[Character] Sam: “Oh! Hi, Old Man Liam.”

[Character] Liam: “Let me go.”

[Character] Sam: “But who will I do ‘All Work No Play’ with anymore?”

[Character] Liam: “They can listen to our less than twenty episodes again.”

[Character] Sam: “We didn’t even get to twenty! It’s so pathetic!”

[Character] Liam: “There are worse things.”

[Character] Sam: “I could get a new co-host. I mean, Taliesin’s charming.”

[Character] Taliesin: “I’m not available…”

[Character] Sam: “I’ll do a solo show, and I’ll tell outtakes, and I’ll make some sort of like a… a Liam generator. He’ll just sound sad all the time. It’ll be just like you.”

[Character] Liam: “My friends, there is no shame in this. I wanted to see you again, and I have.”

[Character] Ashley: “I—Wait—“

[Character] Liam: “But I am not meant to be.”

[Character] Ashley: “Were you following us at one point? As an old man?”

[Character] Liam: “Travis, I know you will do what needs to be done.”

[Character] Travis, casually: “Yup. Taliesin, kill this motherfucker.”

[Character] Sam: “I think we all have to hit the glass together, and I think that this is something that is not at all metaphorical for something Liam’s going through in real life. I think this is just in the D&D campaign. No, we’re going to do this. We’re going to all hit the glass together.”

[Character]Matt: “No, no, there has to be a way. There has to be a way. There has to be an alternative.”

[Character] Ashley: “Yeah. Why? Why won’t Matt’s way work? If we go back to the beginning of when this happened?”

[Character] Matt: “If you can alter time paths, if you can actually tear us from different realities, does it only work forward? Can you send us backward as well? If you are the lynch-pin in this, do you have the ability to send us back to the time you pulled us from originally?”

[Character] Liam: “I know you think I would have all the answers. But I do not.”

[Character] Matt: “Then try, at least. If you haven’t calculated that, but you’re able to tear through time, could you try and send us back? We could still close the lynch-pin.”

[Character]Liam: “I will try. But, if it does not work, and I die, I have been alone for thousands of years, and there are things I have wanted to say. Will you indulge me for a moment longer?”

[Character] Matt nods.

[Character] Marisha: “Yeah.”

[Character]Ashley, sweetly: “We will indulge you for just another thousand years.”

[Character] Travis: “Taliesin, just kill him. Just kill him.”

[Character] Sam: “No! He’s got something to say.”

[Character] Taliesin crosses his arms, rolls his eyes, and shakes his head at Travis.

[Character] Marisha: “Where’s the mini-USB?”

4:33:18 [Character] Liam: “Taliesin, my friend. At a time when I knew many fascinating people, you are easily the most fascinating of all. Somehow a heart knocked around by the industry that birthed you came out a tender one. I was richer for having known you. Thank you, friend.”

“Ash-o-lee, my friend.”

[Character] Ashley, softly: “Buddies.”

[Character] Liam: “I never met a person quite like you. There is an openness and an honesty to your soul. The very real sense of humanity you brought to every encounter. It was inspiring to me. Always learning. Always humble. You always struck me as intricately layered, yet you offered friendship with ease, and simplicity. I was richer for having known you, friend.

“Travis, my friend. You were always a solid constant in my life. Of all the people in our little family, you were always the one who most had his shit together. In ways that I never seemed to. You were a reassuring presence to me, for which I was grateful. And for your loyalty as well. I was richer for having known you, friend.

“Marisha, my friend. Last to meet, but true as any other. You were my ally, at a time when I had fallen by the side of the road. You saw, and helped me back on my feet. I will never forget that kindness. The good you did was immeasurable. I was richer for having known you, friend.

“Laura, my friend. Bless that game for revealing to me my sister. What started as a running gag led to one of the most rewarding friendships in my short little life. I trusted you, leaned on you, often. My buddy, my twin. There are not enough words. I was richer for having known you, friend.

“Sam, my friend. What is there to say? I knew we were meant to walk the same path together the very first moment I met you. A companion, a brother, a great light in my life. All of the laughter you gave me. Again, the words are insufficient. I was richer for having known you, friend.

“Matthew, my friend, you gave so much of yourself. The current of creativity that poured forth from your mind was always in inspiration to us all. But, more than that, your empathy, Matthew, your empathy, no heart is bigger, or more tireless. You are a good man. I was richer for having known you, friend.

“Thank you, all. It was ever a pleasure.”

[DM] Liam: “The face disappears.”

[Character] Sam, hesitantly: “Well, should we wait? Or do we strike?”

[Character] Matt, emphatically: “No. We do not strike.”

[Character] Marisha: “I—What?”

[Player] Ashley: “Can I—I’m going to the back of the cylinder. Just see what’s back there.”

[DM] Liam: “Splattered against the back of the glass is all the same wiring and disgusting cabling. Slick. And it branches away and spreads out against the back half of this chamber.”

[Player] Ashley: “And it’s connected to something?”

[DM] Liam: “It’s just covering everything.”

[Player] Ashley: “The wiring just goes back into…”

[DM] Liam: “It’s impossible to tell. It’s all a mass of spaghetti.”

[Character] Ashley, decisively: “We can’t kill him.”

[Character] Taliesin shakes his head.

[Character] Sam: “Well, then we just…”

[Character] Travis: “Somebody show me another…”

[Character] Matt: “That’s what I’m trying.”

[Character] Marisha: “Even if we unplug him, he still dies.”

[Character] Matt: “Well, if he… Here’s the thing, unplugging or destroying him here, as far as we understand, may or may not have an effect on a time-loop circumstance. Or at least, not going to change reality from where it was. If he’s bending and destroying fabric or he’s able to pull us across realities, that ability still stands. I want to implore once more,”

[Player] Matt: “And I step up towards the cylinder, putting both hands on it, and trying to… wherever the currently wandering gaze of Liam is in there, I just put both hands up. And my red Hawaiian shirt now soaked with sweat, mist in the air, and probably dampened a bit with tears across my lapel. I just look up and try to meet the gaze and say,”

[Character] Matt: “Trust us. If you’re better to have known us, send us back where we can know you again, and fix this before it happens.”

[Character] Liam gestures floating there with no response.

[Player] Marisha: “Okay. I grab Matt’s arm, hand, and I say,”

[Character] Marisha: “Yeah, buddy, it’s all good. This isn’t real.”

[Player] Marisha: “And I put my hand on the glass as well. I say,”

[Character] Marisha: “It’s all good. Send us back, man.”

[Player] Sam: “I’ll also put my hand on the glass, and join hands with these guys, and say,”

[Character] Sam: “Thank you for guiding us here, and through this all. You’ve been a trusted friend, and if we are all one person together, you have always been our heart, and it will certainly break to say goodbye to you, but thank you for letting us go, the way that you have.”

[Player] Taliesin: “I put my hand on the glass.”

[Character] Taliesin: “Please just try. I think… there are so many more adventures to have, and I think there’s a better future to be written. For all of us.”

[Player] Travis: “I’ll put my hand on the glass, and I say,”

[Character] Travis: “Give it a shot!”

[Character] Matt: “Laura?”

[DM] Liam: “She doesn’t say anything. She just quietly does the same. The face does not reappear, but much fainter you hear the piping vibrate again and say,”

[Character] Liam: “If you will not end it, I cannot free you.”

[DM] Liam: “And behind you, far in the distance, you hear, ‘Bfrum!’ And you look back behind you out the glass and you see far on the horizon one of those black spires rising up. Just as you turn, it’s already happened, you’re seeing the aftermath, explosion out the side of one of those. Two seconds later, ‘Bfm!’ One slightly closer. ‘Bffrr!’”

[Character] Sam, whispered, “Just kill him!”

[DM] Liam: “The ground starts erupting in the distance.”

[Character] Marisha: “Do any of us want it to end, though?”

[Character] Sam, “I mean…”

[DM] Liam: “Like mousetraps throwing a ping pong ball, all those little lights are just going ‘Pfthd! Pfthd!’” He makes a quicker distant hissing rumbling sound. “Increasing in frequency to the point where it’s an oncoming wall of green fire.”

[Character] Travis, quietly : “I didn’t like being – anyway.”

[Character] Marisha: “This is okay.”

[Character] Travis, quietly: “Yeah.”

[Character] Taliesin: “I always knew I’d die young.”

[Character] Sam: “We’re just going to let this happen?”

[Character] Travis: “I’m good.”

[Character] Marisha: “I mean, the good die young.”

[Character] Ashley: “You know what? We’re dying on a Thursday, doing what we love.”

[Character] Marisha: “It’s true.”

[Character] Ashley: “I’m okay with that.”

[Character] Sam: “Alright.”

[DM] Liam: “The glass glows bright green-white light.”

[Character] Marisha: “Family?”

[Character] Matt: “Family.”

[DM] Liam: “’Pfth! And a moment passes. And another moment passes. Gosh, many moments pass, and you feel a sensation of your cheeks and heads on your arms. And then you all, more or less at the same time, wake up, and realize that your head’s on a desk or a table. And you sit up, and realize you’re in the set, the Geek & Sundry set. The studio, you’re in the studio. And you look over and Liam is sitting in black baseball cap, and a shirt, and he looks up and says,”

[Character] Liam, slightly incredulous: “Uh, are you guys okay? Are you taking a nap?”

[Character] Marisha: “Nah, the fucking air conditioning broke today, that’s all.”

[Character] Taliesin: “Yeah, it’s really uncomfortable in here.”

[Character] Marisha: “It’s so hot in here. Ugh!”

[Character] Sam: “So, this is all about me, right?”

[Character] Liam: “I don’t know. Uh, are you guys ready to play?”

[Character] Matt: “Just about. Um…”

[Character] Pit Crew: “Alright tech! Are you ready!?”

[Character] Pit Crew: “Alright, read to go live!”

[Character] Pit Crew: “Alright, Denise count them in!”

[Character] Denise: “Alright guys, coming to you in 5—“

[Character] Matt: “Liam?”

[Character] Denise: “4—“

[Character] Matt: “Let no one tell you,

[Character] Denise: “3—“

[Character] Matt: “That you’re talented and special.”

[Character] Denise: “2—“

[Character] Marisha, yelling, flipping Liam the double birds: “Pussy pockets!”

The players yell a wall of nearly indecipherable profanity at Liam in the moment before the camera goes live.

4:48:25 [DM] Liam: “And that’s where we’ll end it.”


Liam: “Well, that happened.”

Matt: “Holy shit.”

Liam: “Thanks for coming along for the ride, guys. Was scared to death to do all of that from start to finish, and that’s why I did it.”

anonymous asked:

Do you have some kinky!drarry fic recs?

There are lots of kinks dear anon, since you haven’t specified i’m gonna pick some of my favorites!

Size Kink

Dinner at Luna’s by FantasyFiend09 (4k)
Harry has dinner plans with Luna. The problem is to do with her neighbour.

Hung Like a Horntail by Lumosed_quill (2k)
Draco’s become a bit obsessed with Harry’s sizable package. It’s a little distracting. Even more so when it’s up your arse. (Or “Harry’s Big Dick is messing with Draco’s life.” ~Capitu)

Endowment by @dictacontrion (10k)
Potter has got under my skin for far too long, in far too many ways. I fully intend to return the favour.

Big Dick Come Quick by Calanthe (204k)
Draco’s got a theory. About sex. And after much searching for the right candidate, it appears that only Harry Potter, his life long enemy, can help him test it out.

The One Where Harry’s a Top-Virgin by SPowell (5k)
Harry’s so big, men balk at him topping. But not Draco.

Get a Room by lumosed_quill (4k)
Harry and Draco have been seeing each other for six months now, and they really can’t keep their hands off one another, especially when they get a little drunk.

Unbuttoned by @eidheann (6k)
Harry asks for Draco’s help in finding a birthday gift for Narcissa. Draco doesn’t suspect ulterior motives. Until he does.

Undone by @eidheann (2k)
In the months since he’d started sleeping with Harry Potter, Draco’s carefully ordered life fell to shambles. [Sequel to Unbuttoned]

Team by yeaka (3k)
Draco hates Potter for no particular reason, and that works out rather well for him.

Party by yeaka (2k)
Draco’s disappointed when Harry doesn’t give him a birthday present.

Praise Kink

The Rules of Desire by pasdexcuses (26k)
Draco has always been good at figuring out what people need and how to give it to them.

Because He Wants To by gracerene (2k)
“I’m glad you decided to be good for me.”

Have You Been A Good Boy? by @goldentruth813 (3k)
When Harry arrives home from work to find Draco dressed in a Santa suit, he finds that the old saying “Santa always knows exactly what you want” is true.

Here and Now by Morgan_Elektra (27k)
It’s been 5 years since the end of the war, but less than a week since Rita Skeeter outed Harry on the front page of The Prophet — and made some rather scandalous insinuations about him and his blond former nemesis. A chance (or is it?) encounter on a street corner reveals just how much has changed… and what remains the same. An over-sized courgette, some olive oil, a bottle of wine, and Ed Kowalczyk make things extra interesting.

Moneymaker by @dictacontrion (16k)
As a top trader, Draco has power and money, suits and cars, houses and good champagne - everything a person could want. So when Auror Potter comes looking for help, Draco can’t think of anything that might persuade him to lend a hand.
Well…maybe one thing.

Together, We Can Soar by @julietsemophase (10k)
Three weeks after they first got together, Harry and Draco are enjoying their relationship in secret. When it is forced into the open though, Harry worries what will happen .[This is sequel to Fall, And I Will Catch You ]

I Need You by distempered (14k)
Five (and one) times that Harry Potter needed to save Draco Malfoy, or five times that Draco Malfoy needed something else entirely (and one time he didn’t).

Good Boy by CelestialCat
Harry is Draco’s good boy. Always such a good boy.
->This an art, not a fic, but deserves the rec!

You’re Doing So Well by distempered (1k)
Draco provides Harry with the best way to release the tension of a bad day.

Praise Me by @agentmoppet (4k)
Why is Malfoy getting all strange and flustered? All Harry did was praise him…

There’s No I In Team by @julietsemophase (13k)
When Draco’s babysitter cancels on him, he has no option but to bring his son to work, despite the fact he has an extremely important day ahead of him. Rescue comes from the most unlikely of places, and Draco ends up having a day he never could have planned, or hoped for.

1000 Kisses: #33 The First Time In A Storage Closet by Morgan_Elektra (8k)
Life is made up of millions of moments. Relationships are made up of thousands of kisses. Each one is its own story.

I also reccomend checking out this & this post by @dictacontrion!

and lastly, here’s my BDSM rec list x


i posted this throughout various comments on instagram, but i wanted to post it everywhere just because it was such an amazing experience.

so after we went through the hollywood walk of fame we went to the venue to try and get the tickets to the idkhbtfm show that we came all the way to LA to see. dallas had messaged ryan on snapchat to see if there were going to be extra tickets because they were sold out by the time we tried to purchase them and he said that if we showed up at like 3 then there would be. well when we showed up just after 3 and there were just a few people sitting outside the venue waiting we were really confused to realize that there was no one there to continue selling tickets or anything. so they didn’t even open the doors until 8pm but there were security people and this lady that was running the whole thing came and talked to my mom who explained that we drove all the way from northern washington to see them and what ryan had said to dallas and she let us go in THANKFULLY and since we were waiting outside since literally 3pm we were pretty much like the 3rd group of people in line so when we went in dallas and i were literally right up against the front of the stage in front of dallon. it was glorious. the opening act was pretty good, i didn’t know them very well but when idkhow came on i fucking lost it. dallas and i kept grabbing each other’s arms whenever dallon would do something in person that we’d only seen him do in videos. AND visitation of the ghost wasn’t even on the setlist and they started playing it anyways, dallon said he wanted to try something new and asked if anyone in the crowd knew how to confidently play bass, and long story short this girl came up on stage with dallon and he gave her his bass guitar and had her play while he got off the stage with NO WARNING and said “i’m gonna come snap with you guys” and stood in the middle of the crowd singing, snapping his fingers and dancing. it was literally the purest and most wonderful thing i’ve ever experienced with a musician becoming so close and intimate with an audience before it was AMAZING. also to give you an idea of how close we were while he was performing, dallas and i both kept getting hit by his sweat flinging from his hair whenever he’d whip his head around. i didn’t know whether to be disgusted or honored considering one almost landed in my mouth at one point 😂🤧

so anyways after the concert ended, he went to the merch booth and was just hanging out and talking to fans and i approached him and talked to him, and he shook my hand and i asked him if i took take a polaroid with him and he said yes, so dallas took the polaroid of us. (keep in mind i was super nervous because i was a little star struck and i was running on adrenaline so i was literally shaking 😂). he was a little distracted because there was a lot going on but eventually we moved off to the side of the booth, and dallas and i were talking to him, she gave him the drawing she made for him and breezy as well as the shirt that said “better than kenny” on it (he thought it was so funny and said he’d mail kenny a picture of him wearing it so he’d be like “oh i’m getting a card from dallon” and then see the picture of him with that shirt on it) and he also loved the drawing dallas made for him and said that breezy would also love it. i asked him to sign the polaroid we’d taken and he did, i handed him the sharpie dallas brought and he signed it and handed it back to me, and i went to grab for the sharpie and he thought i was reaching to hold his hand and he literally put both of his hands over mine and held it for a second before he was like “oh this is your pen!” and laughed as i took it back and it was the sweetest thing 😭 me and dallas walked away so that others could get a chance to talk with him and he promised he’d be outside a bit later and we could give him the rest of our stuff, and we eventually made our way over to the other side and got to meet ryan, who was just as down to earth as dallon and actually more personal, it felt like i was talking to a friend with him. he was so casual and sweet, he high fived both me and dallas and when i asked if i could take a picture he was like, “i’m just warning you, i am really sweaty”, and when dallas told him how we were with our mom and she pointed up at the entrance to the venue where she was standing and he waved to my mom and said “hi mom!” omg it was so pure. we also met breezy and we got to take a picture with her, she was so nice and she is SO BEAUTIFUL IN PERSON. we told her about how we loved her posts on snapchat and instagram and that she has a beautiful family and dogs and we even told her about carebear and how her dog zero reminded us of her. she was so nice and personal too, everyone overall was so friendly.

so eventually we made it outside and finally met up again with dallon at the very end but he was a bit rushed taking care of last minute things with fans that he wanted so we felt bad but he loved the matching back to the future shirts we got for him and ryan (and was so sweet about it, i apologized to him because we tried to get a medium and large but they only had larges and he said “no problem, i’ll just wash this in really
hot water a few times until it shrinks”) and was so happy when we told him we got him bath bombs. he also took one last picture with us and wished dallas a happy birthday when my mom told him that we made the trip down as her 16th birthday gift. we also got ryan the crown and pocky dallas got for him and he thought they were great too 😂 and breezy was excited at the jack-o-lantern flashlights dallas got for knox and amelie, and thought her whole “beep beep im a jeep” thing was really funny.

overall dallon weekes is such a lovely man and although he seems salty on the internet (because a lot of his fans are shitty and constantly put him down for everything he does) he is so genuine and wonderful when you meet him in person. this was by far the best concert i have ever been to in my life.

a couple things i added on:

breezy loved dallas’s shirt that said “that was harry styles” and dallon even signed it for her, she’s going to hang it up on the wall in her room.

this was just funny, dallon was on stage saying that it was awesome how everyone in the audience knew all the words to songs they hadn’t even released yet and everyone started yelling “release the album” and he laughed and said “how about i start telling YOU what to do” it was so sassy


Listen my sorry ass is gonna spend a least 12 hours in a wool band uniform on my birthday because it lands on homecoming.

So I want to suggest a birthday challenge! To make me feel better.

I think I’ll let you guys have free range on this. Though I am going to put some sentence starters below the cut, your prompt does NOT have to come from there. 

Reader-insert, some mckirk. If any of my pals that know me wanna drop my name in it and make it a little more personal that’d be super radical (She subtly hints, not so subtly) 

It can be fluffy or angsty. maybe an AU Whatever you want.

I will say I would prefer some Jim, Scotty, Chekov (TOS or AOS) Maybe a little Janeway, Tom Paris, or Harry Kim wouldn’t hurt. (It would actually feel really good)

Some actual rules:

-Make sure you tag me and put #WhatIf-Birthday2k17 in this first five tags. 

-Have it done by October 21st (my birthday). You can obviously post it beforehand but like. 

-If I don’t like and/or reblog it within 24 hours shoot me an ask or message with it linked. 


- if you are having a hard time you can shoot me a message and I’ll help you out. 

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Ed listens — and is inspired — as the relationship between one of his best friends and his best friend develops and changes into something wonderful.


Note: I can pretty much guarantee that this is not at all what was expected. I had this idea in my head of it being told from Ed’s perspective but the vision in my head was soo much better. Anyway, there IS another part I’m working on, and it will actually be the way I usually write so bear with me?


The first time Ed notices the shift in Harry’s behaviour around Niall is when both lads are at his house for dinner one evening.

The whole of One Direction are here, laughing and having pints while they wait for the ribs on the BBQ. They’re all loud and rambunctious, talking over each other the way they always do in interviews and every now and then Ed sort of regrets inviting them all over at the same time. It’s not that he doesn’t like hanging out with all of them — it’s just that they’re easier to handle in small quantities.

Louis’ the worst. He’s the one who starts everything, the one who encourages everyone else — the one who could talk anyone into anything without even batting an eyelash. Zayn’s not far behind Louis. He’s quiet on the outside, a bit shy and reserved — but Louis unleashes the little terror in him every time. Liam, from what he’s heard anyway, was the only sensible, the “daddy”, the one who sat back with the imaginary first-aid kit and watched while everyone else risked their lives — but Ed’s never seen that side of him because, quite frankly, he’s almost as bad as Louis now that he’s “let loose a bit.”

Harry and Niall are a bit different. They tag along, of course, stir up trouble just like the others but Harry’s a bit too clumsy and awkward to take seriously and Niall, well, he’s a bit too soft-around-the edges to be labelled much of a menace.

The entire day feels like babysitting a bunch of children — it doesn’t help that those children manage to turn the rest of Ed’s older, maturer friends into actual children as well — and Ed sort of regrets it, except he doesn’t.

He doesn’t even know when he notices Harry — or, rather, Harry with Niall — he just sort of…does. And, after that, it’s like he can’t stop noticing.

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thypoqueen  asked:

Any brotp Markle headcanons? :D

so many

  • Whenever she can’t get subtitles working she makes him come over to translate her Korean soaps and at first it was the worst form of torture but now Farkle’s really invested and comes over whether she’s got the subtitles or not
  • Real friends don’t judge each other. They judge other people together’
  • Best way to summarize them lmao
  • Despite their ‘divorce’ when he started dating Izzy, they joke about her being Mrs. Minkus literally all the time
  • He’s picked her drunk ass up from a party at 3 in the morning way too many times. It gets to a point where his father is surprised when Maya isn’t there on Saturday mornings
  • Farkle’s parents bought him a freaking sports car when he passed his drivers test and Maya’s like “I’m never paying for transportation again!” and makes him drive her everywhere
  • E v e r y w h e r e
  • She’s always constantly torn between the thoughts of “I don’t want Farkle to think I only hang out with him because he’s rich” and “Bitch I’m broke buy me stuff”
  • Emergency starbucks runs all throughout high school
  • Like she’d fake notes to get him out of class and he’s like “what’s wrong” and she’s like “what’s wrong is that there currently isn’t a chai tea latte in my hands lets fix it” and he’s like “I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF A PRESENTATION THAT’S WORTH 15 PERCENT OF MY GRADE” but he sneaks out of school and takes her anyway lmao
  • Honestly 90% of the time you can find them leaning against walls trying to look cool while wearing their fucking matching round mirrored sunglasses and sipping their starbucks I hate these losers
  • She tried so hard to get into sci-fi for his (and Riley’s) sake but she falls asleep every time. Even Chris Pines face couldn’t save her
  • Although online she acts like she loved the newer Star Wars movie and posts jokes about it to be cool even tho she literally didn’t even see it and Farkle’s just like “you are the fakest fake bitch I have ever met”
  • Maya’s the type of person where ‘You’re so cute, I adore you, you’re my favorite person’ comes out as ‘I hate you so much, you are a piece of dirty trash and I want to punch your disgusting face’ but Farkle learned to translate her language very well over the years lmao
  • Maya started a rumor around the school that Farkle’s a massive pothead and now everyone tries to buy weed from him
  • He retaliated by starting a rumor that she’s not a real blonde
  • So she told everyone he doesn’t have a bellybutton
  • So then he told everyone that the movie ‘Teeth’ was inspired by her
  • This went back and forth for a while
  • Lol they’re the type of friends who can just chill together in complete silence for hours and it’s good
  • One of them will wake up in the middle of the night, text a horrible pun to the other, and go back to sleep and ignore the angry reply
  • Barely have a concept of personal space
  • She’ll walk in on him and Riley getting dressed and just talk like normal and he’s like “MAYA LEAVE THIS ISN’T FOR YOU” lmao
  • Sometimes if Maya strikes while Farkle’s in a weird mood they team up to be Reckless Young Adults™ and tbh it happens too often Riley will probably develop an ulcer soon
  • One time Maya threw a rager party at Farkle’s house and forgot to tell him lol
  • He woke up to loud music and people hooking up in his bathtub this poor boy
  • He found her to yell at her and she was just like “whoops” and then had the nerve to not give him the AUX cord dammit Maya no one wants to hookup listening to Five Seconds of Summer
  • Even when they’re grown ass adults and both married if Maya learns any detail at all about Farkle and Riley’s ~private lives~ she screams loudly and then will bring it up with him in conversation to laugh at how uncomfortable he gets
  • Because he does get way too uncomfortable omfg she doesn’t even use specifics she’ll just throw out a casual “Proud of you, champ!” and he’s bright red and screaming at her to shut up
  • M e m e W a r s
  • One time Maya was pissed at him for some little thing but it was his birthday so she bought him. Just. So many turtleneck sweaters and a copy of ‘Dracula’ and he almost had her removed from the premises
  • They’re both on a semi professional bowling team but NO ONE CAN EVER KNOW
  • One time Farkle’s standing in the hallway having a casual conversation with a teacher about a project and Maya comes up and starts tugging on his sleeve and he’s like what?? But before he can comprehend what she’s doing she’s got his arms and just literally pulls his button up off his body and slips it on so now he’s just standing there in the tshirt he had under it and she’s buttoning up
  • And he’s trying so hard not to laugh but he’s so confused he’s like “Can I help you?” and she just shrugs and says “I was cold” and walks away and he’s like???? So was I?????
  • And the teacher is cracking the fuck up at this whole exchange and Farkle has this incredulous look on his face but he just turns back to the teacher and is like “So anyway,” which made the teach laugh harder lol
  • He never got that shirt back
  • She’s front row (with Riley obvs) for all of his performances/debates/whatever and drinks a lot of coffee before hand so she’s sure she won’t fall asleep
  • Near the end of sophomore year he ends up on the Track Team because one of her pranks went horribly wrong and if he explained that she’d get suspended so now Farkle Minkus is *technically* a jock lmao
  • They have some weird inside joke/war involving marshmallows and literally no one but them understands it but occasionally one of them will just find a bag of marshmallows in their locker/drawer/backpack/what have you and get SO PISSED OFF it’s so funny
  • Deep conversations at 3 in the morning
  • Sometimes he falls asleep while they’re hanging out and she’s like “Aww my pet loser is cute I’m gonna stroke his hair but he can never know” and other times he’ll fall asleep and she’s like “FINALLY now I can draw photorealistic pictures of dicks on his face and post the pics online!!!”
  • One time they were fighting about something and Maya left the room and came back with a chair and climbed on that so she could make eye contact with him while she was yelling at him lmao
  • Omfg Riley’s always been tall so Maya and Farkle were the teeny tiny ones it was their thing and when he hit his first growth spurt she felt so betrayed
  • By the time he officially stopped growing he’s like 6′6 which is a full foot and a half taller than Maya and she’s so angry about it
  • One time they got bored and actually tried to sneak into an R rated movie by having her climb on his shoulders and hide under a trench coat
  • They were both over 17 too they literally didn’t need to sneak in they just wanted to see if they could do it
  • She steals his glasses all the time and runs around yelling spells from Harry Potter
  • She never actually cared too much about his families money until she found out all their blankets are made from literally the most expensive fabric in the world (vucana) and that’s so ridiculous to her and so if she’s ever loosing an argument she’ll say something like “why don’t you cry into your rare sheep blankets” only more clever sounding than that it’s 2 am cut me a break  and then he fucking gave her one for her birthday one year and she’ll go on and on about how it’s so stupid that it’s so expensive but and it’s unnecessary and Farkle’s a rich loser who can’t appreciate that but in reality she’ll never get over how soft that shit is she will never sleep anywhere without that blanket again holy shit
  • One time Farkle and Lucas got in a fist fight and Lucas was expecting the girls to side with him but they were #TeamFarkle all the way and Maya didn’t talk to Lucas for like 3 weeks on behalf of Farkle’s black eye
  • Once he and Riley have kids and eventual grandkids and so on Maya 100% always refers to them as The Minkii and when Riley and Farkle move out of an apartment to a big house with a lot of surrounding land she took one look at it and said something to the affect of “Such beautiful fields where the wild Minkii can roam free” and Farkle almost choked from laughing
  • One time Farkle had to save Maya because her hair caught on fire and to this day no one can figure out how she even managed that
  • They both have a secret, closeted passion for Macklemore
  • One time they were alone and sang ‘Helpless’ from Hamilton together and they did the whole thing then stared at each other for a moment and finally Farkle was like “That was the most adorable thing we’ve ever done and it was so disgusting thank God no one is around” and Maya’s like “I know I wanna puke what’s wrong with us!!!”
  • In third grade Maya beat up a 5th grade boy on Farkle’s behalf and that was the day he realized she actually liked him and wasn’t just putting up with him for Riley
  • So a million years later when they witnessed his daughter Tessa punch a kid on behalf of her daughter Violet, and then saw Violet realize that Tessa actually liked her and didn’t just hang out with her because their parents lumped them together, Maya and Farkle literally almost cried
  • Who are we kidding they did cry
  • They cried a lot
  • One time Maya and Riley sent him on a tampon run and texted him the whole time and it was one of their funnier conversations and Maya posted the screenshots online and titled them “Farkle Minkus Discovers The Patriarchy” and it blew up to the point that it briefly became a meme and talk show hosts made jokes about it
  • They take High School Musical very seriously
  • She has 1 tattoo and she almost chickened out of getting it Farkle literally had to bribe her to go through with it because YOU CANT TELL RILEY YOU’RE GONNA GET MATCHING TATTOOS THAN COP OUT AFTER RILEY ALREADY GETS HERS DONE M A Y A
  • For a while in middle school/early high school Farkle wouldn’t tell Maya about any problems he was having ever because he thought she wouldn’t take him seriously and she was downright horrified when she found that out omfg
  • And she mostly only found out about it because Riley locked them in her room for like 3 hours lmao
  • When they team up to snark and annoy teachers together, magic happens
  • The girls have a surplus of embarrassing pet names for Farkle dating back to when they met but Maya and Farkle are having a serious moment she usually goes for “Farkly” cause it makes him laugh
  • Lmao she lets him and only him get away with calling her ‘Sweetheart’. One time Lucas tried it and promptly almost lost his hand
  • Okay so we all know that Maya’s going to be an amazing and successful artist because she’s so talented but I feel like at some point Farkle would help her career by being that guy that pays an outrageous amount of money for one of her paintings and then tells all the smarmy rich people he can that it’s from an up-and-coming artist and brag about how much money he spent because that’s basically rich peoples version of a dick contest so then they’re all rushing to buy her paintings and she’s making way more money than she expected and suddenly she’s one of the hottest painters in the art world and she doesn’t even know that Farkle is the one who bought the first painting but she suspects
  • She saw the recent study that said people with Rh negative blood are probably aliens and sent it to him as a joke like ‘have we found our explanation’ but he got SO UPSET BECAUSE HE ACTUALLY IS RH NEGATIVE AND SHE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW
  • So that caused another minor identity crisis lmao
  • Every time she sees a math joke even she sends it to him even if she doesn’t understand it
  • He tutors her a lot
  • At Maya’s wedding she had Riley as her Maid of Honor and then Farkle as her Best Person instead of another bridesmaid it was cute
  • One time everyone in the Matthews Clan was doing something but Cory finished work early so he was expecting to come home to an empty apartment but instead he found Maya and Farkle laying on the couch, watching Netflix and eating the leftover dinner he had been dreaming of eating all day omfg
  • Farkle still has that NYC skyline sketch she did framed in his room
  • You know how sometimes Maya narrates what’s happening ina goofy voice??? Farkle eventually gets in on that too they have a lot of fun with it
  • The boy could just breathe and Maya will yell “You emo hipster trash!” like she needs him to know that she’s judging him every second of every day
  • Every time he tries to wear a beanie she steals it and says something to the affect of “it looks cuter on me”
  • Every time he posts a selfie the first comment is Maya Hart: ‘You ain’t cute.’
  • Every time she posts a selfie the first comment is Farkle Minkus: ‘Yikes.’
  • Why do they always instinctually know when the other is posting selfies??? One of life’s great mysteries
  • Okay once Shawn gets more involved and anything he gets to know Farkle and thinks he’s a swell kid but sometimes he’ll be coming home after a long flight for work and he just wants to sleep and instead he walks into his apartment to see Farkle in the kitchen building a freaking nuclear reactor for all he knows as Maya’s trying to cook and actually only succeeding in burning stuff and he’s just. So tired.
  • And then whatever Farkle’s trying to do fails miserably and explodes and Shawn just looks at Maya and is like “You bring this Spawn into my house,”
  • lmao
  • Oh my God every time the group is caught by parents taking a thousand pictures before a dance Maya always insists on taking a prom pose pic with Farkle but she always wants to be in the boys spot lmao they really sell it
  • Maya taught Farkle how to skateboard after the Great Crash of ‘08 because he was too scared to get back on a bike afterwards
  • They both are 900% the type of people to put sunglasses on before making a bad joke/pun
  • They somehow usually manage to do it in unison too omfg stop them
  • Farkle’s a sound cloud asshole Maya is so enraged by it
  • There’s like a drawer and a half in Farkle’s room filled with both Riley and Maya’s clothes and he’s got quite a few items laying around their houses too
  • If the group watches horror movies there’s a 97% that at least once in the film, Maya will get to scared and jump to hide behind Farkle’s shoulder. Cory caught a candid photo of it once lmao
  • Basically both Maya and Farkle are perfect mixes of asshole and dorky and they adore each other no matter what MY CHILDREN
{Master Post} Snowbarry FanFiction - Part 1

This post has changed so much since I made it and it makes me so happy!! Tumblr didn’t allow me to add more fics to this post which made me create several parts of this Master Post.

As many of you may have notice, the always talented @chasingblue57 has written so many Snowbarry fics (thanks the lord for having her in the fandom), that I decided to make the first and second part of this Snowbarry Fic Master Post all about Kim’s writings!

Enjoy and be sure to pass by her blog.

Snowbarry Master Post:

Updated: June, 21st, 2016.


How I Burn
Apologies & Forgiveness
Thank Yous & Threats
The Benefits of Experience
What’s in a Name
Accidental First Kiss
Operation Rematch
Holding Patterns
Future Knowledge
My Heart to Yours, One Stitch at a Time
Tuesday Morning Coffee
Blind Date
With This Ring, I Thee [Fake] Wed
In the Morning Light
The Process of Healing
What You Mean to Me
Swimming Lessons
Buzzed on Your Smile
Taking Care of Me
Fill My Mind with Your Everything
She Takes After You
A Red Ribbon ‘Round My Heart, a White Band ‘Round My Finger.
Those Quiet, Perfect Moments
Birthday Wishes You Don’t Even Wish For
Singing to Distraction.
A Not So Un-date Night

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On The Road

A/N: This was a anon request. It is actually the first time I wrote a smutty one shot, so please tell me what you think. I MUST SAY IT’S EXTREMALLY DIRTY, if you don’t feel comfortable, don’t read it.

I was supposed to post this yesterday, but it was my birthday so it didn’t happen.

Make requests here.


I swayed my hips in the rhythm of the song as I sang the lyrics I wrote a while back. Some people standing in the middle of the crowd sang along with me, but being only the opening act at the One Direction concert, not everyone knew me or my music. Despite that, a lot of them continuing cheering and screaming my name, and I felt welcomed on stage.

I sang the last part of that song and looked at the guitarist, who played with the strings of the guitar. Behind him, some people were backstage watching my show, Niall was standing there with his phone in hands and I imagined he was texting someone, because he was almost all the time, and that’s something I learned about him in the little while I was on tour with those boys.

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From Mar 2012 to Aug 2012

–> Something shifts (again) in March 2012

Payzer : rumors about Danielle cheating on Liam and trying to hit on Zayn back during the XF and also about her cheating with another guy, Danielle answers loads and loads of hate messages on Twitter and Liam (finally) stands up for her against the hate she receives

After Zayn’s departure for a few days because of a death in his family in March 2012, something changes between him and Liam and they seem to be close again. 

It also seems like Zayn’s unrequited love isn’t unrequited anymore !! :

And Liam sports an interesting mark even though Danielle isn’t in the same country (they’re in Australia) :

Be honest, it’s a little bit too marked to be someone (like Louis) messing with him : we saw that most of the times, Liam pushes Louis away as soon as his lips make contact with his neck. And Harry would have let him ? At this point ? Don’t think so. It’s a real lovebite that just had been done. So they’re fooling around but I don’t think it’s official, or even dating, since Zayn posts this tweet in April (obvs about Liam since there is nothing “wrong” about falling for Perrie who seems to response quite happily to his advances) :

Awww, what happened ? I don’t know but I think maybe Zayn talked about feelings in the middle of one of their… sessions, and Liam wasn’t ready and pushed him away ? Or he was afraid ? Of what ? His own seuxality/identity ? For the future of the band ? Many possibilities.

So, at least, they’re fooling around, either because Liam realised Danielle was just with him for the promo after the cheating rumors popped up (depends on your opinion about Payzer : either he realised she was dating/hitting on him/friend with him just for the promo/his fame and money or he was growing sick of pretending/her) or because he missed Zayn too much, or because he wanted to give it a try now he’s a little wilder. Maybe a bit of all of that.

But these speculations get quickly shut down by these sudden Zerrie tweets :

See Zerrie 1.0 and 2.0 

It certainly and conveniently explained (barely, not really, let’s say, if you’re not paying attention : it doesn’t add up, time-wise) Zayn’s cryptic tweets.

Ok, the rest under the cut (to be dash-friendly ^^)

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anonymous asked:

Natalie! Do you have any other Harry fanfics to recommend? I've read all the ones in your rec list hahaha

Thank you for specifying that you have gone through my rec list ALRIGHT OKAY here are some fics that are not on my official rec list that I have either started reading since or have been meaning to read that have been updating recently/are complete (if I get any of the details in the following summaries wrong writers my apologies pls let me know and I will remedy this)

(also, here is an incredible list Natasha made for Harry’s birthday of a ton of Harry fics for yr perusal)

Keep reading

Lily & James headcanons
  • they had a huge wedding that both their parents attended. The main goal was to ‘beat Petunia’s wedding’. James planned most of it only asking Lily for her opinions and she was always like ‘JaMES We don’t need to invite the entire Order to our weddING! Like there are a hundred people in the Order?!?!’ and he was just like- places finger on her lips, ‘shush love, this is going to be brilliant’ *sends out invitations* Lily *facepalms*. 
  • Almost five hundred people attended their wedding (which was held in the Potter mansions backyard) from old school mates that they had barely spoken to, the entire Order, the whole Hogwarts staff - James even invited Filch as a joke…he  didn’t come - their families, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents literally anyone they were related to be even the most distant form were invited - like his mother’s brother’s wife’s cousin’s daughter’s husband’s parents were invited.  
  • The wedding was a hit though. Not one word of the war was mentioned and there was wizard and muggle music alike - Lily, Marlene, Alice, Sirius, James, Remus and Peter shouted the lyrics to We Will Rock You by QUEEN. Everyone got hammered and everyone was loud and laughing. The cake was chocolate and Lily smashed James’ head into it and then laughed her head off. 
  • They moved into Godric’s Hollow immediately and Lily LOOVED it. Ever week she would come home from Diagon Alley or muggle London with something new for the house. She would come home with a lamp and be like it’s for our room and James would just be like ‘WHat? WE already have like three lamps in our room????!’ and she’d just shrug and say ‘fine we’ll put it in the living room’. Their bed was a mound of mismatching pillows and a patch quilt with crocheted blankets on top - James always complained that their bed was Satan’s den but Lily loooved it - she got cold easily. 
  • They bought a white kitten and named it Beatle. Remus could never get over the irony of naming a cat after a beatle like ???? Sirius would always terrorise the cat by shooting a laser-like light out of his wand and charming the light to move around the room. Peter would always sneak more milk into it’s bowl.
  • James carried Lily out of a battle in his arms (bridal style) when Dolohov hexed her so badly she couldn’t feel her legs for days. Lily spent endless nights waiting up at Godric’s Hollow for James to get back from a mission - he always did, no matter how bruised and bloodied he always came back.
  • On the last day of each month, no matter if it was a Sunday or a Thursday, dinner was at James and Lily’s. They’d set up a huge table in the garden and everyone would help to cook in their too-small kitchen and they’d carry everything out and make jokes and laugh. No one ever talked about the war on those nights.
  • Lily found out she was pregnant on a Tuesday. It was the morning and a sudden urge to vomit had woken her. Knowing she hadn’t eaten anything bad and not feeling particularly sick, just nauseas, she started doing the math. ‘JAMeS!’ ‘Yes, love’ ‘You got me pregnant in the middle of a bloody war’ ‘I-WHAT!?’ ‘Pregnant, love’ ‘as in-’ ‘yes as in we’re having a baby’ ‘but we’re in a war’ ‘i know’ they stood loooking at each other for eternity. Lily was pregnant. ‘I hope it has your eyes’ James grinned and Lily crashed into James, giving him the most bone crushing hug because she didn’t know whether to feel scared, anxious, excited, terrified, happy or all of the above.
  • Suddenly, Lily had around the clock care. She wasn’t allowed to go in missions anymore - she was more of a behind the scenes person, help forming plans and assigning missions to people. James caught on that she was giving him the least risky ones after a while. Someone would come past the house so often Lily thought there wasn’t a point to the front door anymore - they didn’t knock anyways. Marlene, Alice, Sirius, Remus, Peter and even people they’d gotten close to from the Order like Benjy, Dorcas, Emmeline, Fabian and Gideon, would pop in. The Potter’s house had basically become a second Headquarter’s whilst Lily was pregnant. Everyone loved the muffins and pastries and cakes Lily would cook and there was always a spare bedroom if anyone wanted to crash the night.
  • Harry was born on the evening of 31 June 1980 and Lily and James both cried tears of joy the first time they held their son in their arms. ‘Look what we made’ Lily had said to James, 
  • The birth of their son only increased the amount of visitors to their home. Everyone loooooved Harry. They would come and play with him and buy him toys - though when nappy time came he would often be passsed to Lily without hesitation.
  • The Potter house only closed to most visitors in January of 1981. Dumbledore had informed them that Voldemort was after Harry. They went into hiding immediately. The brilliant plan that Peter would become Secret Keeper - telling others it was Sirius as to distract Voldemort and send him on a goose chase.
  • James stopped going to missions and they stayed in the house. They managed to make their own fun. Lily and James would play all sorts of games ranging from hide and seek to wizard’s chess to UNO - ‘YOU BLOODY PRAT!’ Lily would scream waking the baby when James would draw 4 her three times in a row. Sirius brought them a TV one day and Lily and James got hooked to re-runs of Doctor Who and Lily started knitting the infamous scarves for them. Remus and Peter always brought Harry cute clothes to wear - mini leather jackets, bear onesies with a hoodie, reindeer ears - and they had fun dressing him up and taking photos of him.
  • ‘His first word is gonna be dada’ James insisted. ‘I carried him in my womb for nine months and then pushed him out of a very small hole in my body, his first word better be mama or I’m putting him back in there’. James turning to harry and being like ‘Say ‘mama’’.
  • Easter came around and they dressed Harry in a bunny onesie and all their friends came over and they ate in the garden and everything felt normal. Sirius made jokes, Remus helped Lily with the dishes, Marlene changed Harry’s diaper. 
  • It was Mid-July and Remus visited. Marlene McKinnon and her entire family had been murdered in their home. Lily couldn’t stop crying.
  • Then it was Harry’s birthday! James and Lily baked a cake and Bathilda Bagshot came over for tea. Presents for Harry arrived in the post - his favourite by far was the toy broomstick Sirius had sent. He knocked over Petunia’s vase within five minutes.
  • James would read Harry fairytales before bed every night and Harry always tried to take off James’ glasses. Lily suggested a sticking charm and James glared at her like, ‘this is your child woman, control him!’ as Harry waved James’ glasses around almost poking James’ eye out.
  • James and Harry were playing on the couch, James was shooting smoke out of his wand and the bubbling baby tried to catch it. Lily came in and asked, ‘what is dada doing to you bubba?’ Harry babbled at her and Lily laughed. ‘Come on, time for bed,’ lily said leaning down to pick up her little child. James said, ‘Horror movies, tonight?’ and lily smiled, “It is halloween after all. Set it up!” she said not knowing that at that very moment her life was becoming a horror show.
  • The door opened. James fell. Lily fell. Voldemort fell. Harry lived.
Preference #47: Fighting

Jack: ‘I can’t believe you’re leaving again! You’re never here anymore!’ ‘Look, it’s not like I fucking ASK them to whisk me to all these fucking places. I have to go or otherwise all those pretty things I buy you, this fucking flat I got for us, and that car I bought you for your birthday, are ALL going to go away!’ He always did that in fights. He’d mention how HE paid for everything with the partnership money he receives from companies. Jack guilt tripped you. Not today. ‘Don’t start making this about money, because we both know that’s not it! It’s you constantly missing everything important to me because you’re not being paid to be there!’ ‘You know that’s not how I am! I don’t care about the money! The only person I end up using it on is you.’ ‘You purposely miss events that mean something to me so you don’t have to deal with them! You even missed the most important one and didn’t even apologize! Not one fucking single phone call or text! I ended up having to fucking text you and your dumbass didn’t text back!’ ‘What have I missed exactly? Please,’ He sat on the arm of the sofa, ‘Tell me what I’ve missed. What is SO important to Y/N that she has to get all strung up about it?’ You couldn’t believe he forgot. He-above all people-should have remembered the day he missed. ‘The promotion party Zoe threw for me, two birthday parties, the office picnic I invited you to months ago, and…and our fifth anniversary! Your stupid little India trip came in and ran over our fucking anniversary! I even bought you a present and everything! I had to make reservations a month in advance because I wanted to take you to that fancy restaurant you’d wanted to go to! I had an entire day planned out and you fucking ruined it with your fucking stupid charities!’ Tears blurred your vision and stung your eyes. You quickly turned away so he wouldn’t catch them. The hurtful disappointment of realizing he’d be missing your anniversary came rushing back into your chest. You felt so ignored and insignificant in his life. You thought about leaving him once or twice since all this YouTube fame started. ‘Baby…I…’ His voice had softened, though it didn’t melt you any less. ‘I’m so sorry,’ You heard his footsteps approach you, though he kept his distance, ‘I didn’t mean the things I said. You’re right; I haven’t been that attentive to you lately. I must be the worst boyfriend ever,’ ‘You are.’ ‘Heh…Y/N, I never meant to push you away. I love you more than anything in the entire world…as cliché as that sounds. I never want you to feel like you don’t matter to me because you do. I really, really, really wanted to take you to India with me. I really wanted you to come to VicCon and Playlist Live with me because viewers actually want to see you as much as I do.’ ‘Sorry for having a job that demands my actual presence.’ ‘I’m NOT saying that’s wrong. I’m glad you have a job you love. I’m not completely at fault here. Your job keeps you away from me too. They lock you up in that office building day and night…and away from me. I wasn’t completely upset about leaving you because I knew you wouldn’t just be sitting here twiddling your thumbs, waiting for me. We both have lives, busy ones but that doesn’t mean that we don’t love one another, does it? I’m sorry for missing our anniversary and not even acknowledging that I did. I got so caught up in the India trip I barely noticed.’ His arms came around you. He held you tightly to his chest and pressed his lips to your head. His nose buried into your hair. You could smell his cologne faintly on his plaid shirt, the one he always wears for the day that you love taking just a whiff of. The one that reminds you of home all the time. ‘I’m sorry,’ You said, ‘That I make such a fuss over things like that.’ ‘No. Don’t be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m the idiot. I mean, I have a gorgeous girlfriend and I ignore her.’ ‘And I have a gorgeous boyfriend and I ignore him.’ You shared a smile, ‘Come with me? I’d love it if you came with me. We can have an anniversary do-over there…’ ‘Yeah. I’d definitely come.’

Finn: The nerve of fangirls never ceased to amaze you. Being the girlfriend of Finn Harries, you adjusted to the occasional mean tweets you received from the jealous fan girls who felt they owned Finn or shared some sort of personal relationship with him. Words like ‘slut’ and ‘bitch’ bounced off you like a game of burn-ball. However, once in a while, you get the persistent ones. The ones who want you truly know how pissed off they are that you’re making Finn happy. So, when muFinn_lover92 decided she’d flood your twitter page with hate comments, you found her obnoxious and annoying. ‘YOU’RE his girlfriend? Sorry to say this but, ur not that pretty.’ ‘@(yourtwittername) is such a slut. Did you see how she was all over Marcus in that video they did? She’s FINN’S gf.’ ‘@(yourtwittername) @(nameofanotherhater) i kno. She actually thinks she’s pretty. She’s so fat in that pic.’ ‘@(yourtwittername) @(anotherhater) LOL ur right. she so doesn’t deserve him.’ This bitch was at it all day. You normally ignored all the comments. However, one thing did bother you. At one point, the girl began tagging Finn in her comments. You thought he’d really show her something. He’d defend you because he loved you…Nope. Finn said it was better to pay no attention to her than start something. The worst thing he could do was argue with a fan, which might affect their subscriber number. ‘So, you care more about a stupid number than my feelings?’ You questioned him. ‘That’s not what I’m saying.’ ‘Then what are you saying?’ ‘That I don’t want to ruin things for me and Jack. If I argue with that girl, she’ll just end up making me look like some kind of bully. They always do that. Fan girls can be dangerous people.’ ‘Clearly, since you’re afraid of a fucking fifteen-year-old.’ This enraged you. He was supposed to defend you. You supposed you’d have to defend yourself. ‘@muFinn_lover92 You know, I will congratulate you on one thing: You have some fucking persistence. Like fuck, I get it. You’re jealous that I’m dating the guy you wish you were dating and who will probably never date you.’ ‘@(yourtwittername) pfft, I could sooooooo take him from you if I wanted.’ ‘@muFinn_lover92 you’re like what? 15? I doubt my boyfriend will violate the law to date you. Get over yourself and goodbye.’ And then you blocked her from your page. A few minutes later, Finn came storming into the kitchen. ‘Why’d you say those things?’ ‘You were too pussy to say anything, so I said it for you. Nice to know you have my back.’ ‘Do you realize what you’ve done?’ ‘Oh boo-hoo, your channel is gonna lose ONE person. Cry me a fucking river.’ ‘This girl posted your little tweets everywhere! She twisted the story to make you look like a bitch!’ ‘Good, if they think I’m a bitch, then they’ll think twice about it.’ ‘People think I’m dating a horrible person.’ ‘You know I’m not horrible.’ ‘Do I?’ You stopped cooking to look at him. ‘The fuck does that mean?’ ‘It means that sometimes you do really mean things. You purposely do shit to spite people and hurt their feelings.’ ‘Because they did it to me first. Did you even SEE what she put? Did you even bother looking at what I was talking about? Or did you put it on the backburner like you do with anything that concerns me?’ ‘I did see what she wrote. I was just as hurt as you. It bothers me when people say hurtful and hateful things.’ ‘Then why didn’t you speak up? You never speak up. You always let things sweep under the rug because you hate confrontation! You’re such a…a…’ ‘A what? A pussy? A girl? What insult are you going to throw at me to try and puncture my ego?!’ ‘A pussy! A fucking pussy! The only time I’ve ever seen you act like a fucking man was when that guy called me a slag in that pub…and you were drunk! And he was drunk! And you barely touched him! It’s like defending me is so difficult for you! Your mummy babied you too much and now you’re afraid to do anything remotely manly!’ ‘I don’t act like a man?’ He edged closer to you. ‘No. You don’t. You wouldn’t even tell a little girl to go fuck herself!’ ‘I don’t act like a man? I’m not a man?! You little bitch!’ He suddenly grabbed you and threw you to the wall. You thought you’d free-fallen onto a concrete floor by the pain in your back. Finn didn’t even give you time to move. He trapped you between him and the wall. Fear twisted your stomach seeing the anger in his eyes. He turned you around, pinning your arms to the wall as he separated your legs. He wasted no time in undressing your bottom half, bruising the side of your neck with bites and hard kisses, and groping parts of you he’d be gentle towards. This surprised you. It excited you. It even scared you a little, though your arousal slowly took over the longer Finn kept you against that wall. ‘I’m going to show you,’ You heard the jingling of a belt and him unzipping himself, ‘That I’m a man. I’m going to fuck you exactly how a man would fuck a bitch like you,’ He fisted a bit of your hair and growled into your ear, ‘You understand that?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Good.’ He then fucked you.

Dan: ‘I can’t take this anymore!’ 'What can’t you take? Me wanting to be with you? Me wanting us to go out and do things together?!’ 'But does it have to be everything, Y/N? Do you HAVE to come with me everywhere and cling onto me like a bloody life support system?!’ 'What are you talking about?!’ 'You are so clingy, it’s unbelievable sometimes. You constantly call me. I get tons of texts from you on my phone all the time-’ ’-Because I want to talk to you. I don’t do it ALL THE TIME.’ 'I just want my space, and it’s like you don’t understand that! You don’t get that I can’t constantly have you involved in everything! It’s like we’re always a pair now. Can’t have one without the other!’ 'Oh, but I don’t see you complaining when people refer to you and Phil!’ 'Don’t…No, don’t do that. Don’t start bringing up that 'Phan’ shit again. That is totally different.’ 'How is that different?!’ 'We’re friends. We work together. I HAVE to see Phil, but he doesn’t call me ten times in a row just to know where I am!’ 'I did that when you were out of town! That was once! Excuse me for fucking caring for you! I’ll stop then! I’ll stop giving a fuck about you! I’ll stop going places with you, hell, I’ll even completely disappear if that’s what you want!’ You can’t say this isn’t surprising. As you stormed off, you thought about how people usually didn’t want you around. People made excuses all the time not to hang out with you; they left you behind when they had fun. Dan was the first person who didn’t make you feel so forgettable. Now you’ve driven him away too. Sitting in the bedroom, you tried not crying. The worst thing to do in a fight is cry. You always do this. They always end up hating you for being so clingy. You can’t help it. It happens without any real intention. A few hours later, you stepped out of the bedroom to find an empty flat. He left. Of course, he’d leave. You were alone again. On your own. You walked into the kitchen for some food and found a note on the refrigerator. 'Went to the store for some groceries. I’m sorry for snapping at you. I love you so, so, so much. Please be here when I come home. I don’t want to lose you. xxx Dan’ The letter made you cry. Somebody still wanted you.

Phil: You two don’t fight. Fighting isn’t something you both do since you’re so well-connected and know when to leave the other alone. Phil isn’t the shouting type. It’s actually odd when you see him angry because anger doesn’t suit him. Today turned out to be a horrible day for you both. YouTube was being a bitch and not uploading his video, which bothered him at first. Tumblr was going into some maintenance, so you both just waited around on twitter. It’d been raining and thundering all day; you were completely soaked on the way home from Tesco. He’d gotten into the marriage argument with his mother again. The world seemed to enjoy picking on each of you today. Then…it happened when the lights went out. 'Are you fucking kidding me?!’ You nearly slammed your spoon down onto the floor, 'Really?! Now?!’ 'Shouting is not going to make them come back on.’ 'I know that Phil! I’m not dumb!’ 'Really? Because the pasta sauce goes in the pot, not on the counter….’ 'What? Aw fuck me!’ 'No thanks.’ 'Phil!’ 'Look, I’m just trying to lighten the mood!’ 'Go get the torches and lighten up this ROOM!’ 'Would you stop ordering me around? What do you think I’m doing in here in the first place?! The torches are in here.’ 'Well, I’d assume you were in here bugging me.’ 'Oh, I’m sorry that I’ve irritated you! I didn’t realize that was part of your personality!’ You wanted to hit him. You couldn’t even see where he was, but you wanted to hit him. He eventually found the flashlight, turned it on, and shined it on you. 'Aw, baby…’ You saw him pout in the dim light. You saw him point towards the little puddle of tomato sauce on the clean counter. 'Ugh, this stuff is never going to come off!’ You began wiping it up, before some got on your shirt. 'Oh come on!’ 'That’s because you’re not paying attention. Here…let me.’ He put down the flashlight and helped you clean up the rest. When the puddle was gone, the light suddenly flickered back on. Phil looked…apologetic. 'I’m sorry I-’ ’-No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. I’ve just been having a rough day and I took it out on you. I’m sorry, Phil.’ 'It’s okay. Me too.’ The both of you hugged, him pecking your forehead like he always did. 'Want to order some pizza then? We can’t use that sauce now.’ 'Sure. Keeping in the Italian theme…’


Preference #6: Hating On Your Vibe

#6: Hating on Your Vibe - He basically annoys you about something that you are very passionate about to a very high extreme. 


“If you dare say that Supernatural is a pointless show again, you can sleep on the couch for the rest of your damned life,” you hissed out of your teeth as you turned back to the show, the episode really one of the best ones that you had seen in a while.

“It’s all made up!” he pressed on, inching closer to your hand that held the remote as if you didn’t know what he was trying to do. “Like demons? Angels? Lord knows there ain’t anythin’ like that.”

“And when a demon possesses my body and you find me beating the hell out of you, don’t be surprised because you deserve it! You have a TV in our room, go and watch the game there!”

“This is my favourite seat,” he whined and you rolled your eyes at him. “Please? Pretty please?”

“For the last time no. I have waited all week for this episode and I am not missing it because you want to watch a dumb soccer game!”

“Oi, football is not dumb!”

“Guys chasing after a ball to kick it into a goal and faking injuries 24/7 for penalties. Sounds like a wonderful sport,” you snort only to yelp when he snatched the remote from your hand and changed the channel, his game starting just in time as you try and get it back from him.

“You can watch it online,” he reasoned, hugging you to his chest as he lay back on the couch, legs wrapped around yours so you couldn’t kick him and arms holding you tightly together.

“This isn’t fair!”

“Life ain’t fair either darlin’.”

Supernatural is better than this!”

“Nothing beats a good ole game of footie,” he reasoned, pressing a kiss to the top of your hairline as you shot daggers at him.

“You fucking owe me for making me watch this bullshit.”

“I’ll pretend to be that Dean character when we fuck tonight. Deal?”

“…for now.”


“Rise and shine darling,” he sang and you waved your hand blindly in the air, hoping to smack him for waking you up. It worked when you heard his soft “Ow” when your hand connected with the hardness of his chest.

“Fuck off, I’m sleeping,” you murmur into your pillow, pulling the sheets up around your shoulders, the warmth making you sigh in contentment.

“Firstly, thank you for bruising my chest. Secondly, it’s eleven in the morning. Thirdly, you promised me that you would go running with me this morning,” he said in your ear, tugging at your ponytail lightly as you made more incoherent noises, pushing at his chest to make him leave you alone to fall back asleep.

“I lied, I’m sorry, I’m having an affair with the bed. It’s too soon to leave. Have a good run baby come back soon,” you yawn out, rolling over onto your stomach as you cuddle a pillow to replace the entity that was normally Liam.

“Babe exercise is better than sleep, especially when you need—“

“Are you calling me fat?” You question, opening one eye and turning to him for the first time for the morning. He was dressed in a light brown hoodie and a pair of grey joggers as he propped his head up on his hand to stare at you. The panic on his face nearly made you lose your poker face as you accused him of bothering you about your insecurity of your weight even though you knew that it was never an issue and never would be with him.

“No not at all! Of course not, you’re perfect!” he stated immediately. “I’m just saying like a healthy way of gaining more energy and being fit would be to come running with me.”

“I pick sleep. Work me out later.” He sighed when you dropped him a glittering wink.

“Alright, if you insist. We’re gonna compensate for this no running thing though.”

“Can’t wait,” you say, blowing him a kiss as he walked out the door, laughing and shaking his head.


“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND WE COULD FEED A SMALL VILLAGE IN AFRICA WITH THAT MONEY!” you shout at him from the couch as he stared at you, eyes wide and bewildered as he offered you a brand new dress from what seemed to be Valentino. All your eyes trained on was the whooping $10,500 price tag that hung off of it.

“It thought it would look good on you and it’s your birthday in a couple days,” he explained. “Why are you shouting at me?”

“Oh my God Zayn that dress is so expensive, Jesus Christ can you still return it? Can you return Valentino? Oh my God you’re an idiot why would I need a Valentino dress you’re insane oh my God that could give feed an entire village in Africa for months—“

“Can you slow down?!” He placed the dress on the coffee table, ignoring how you flinched away from it like it was diseased. “I bought it so you could wear it. It’s not a big deal babe, really.”

“Zayn that 10K worth of cut up fabric,” you shudder. “I didn’t need a new dress babe, Lord knows that I would have made due with something in my closet next week.”

“But…like I wanted to buy it. It’s not a big deal. There was this one that I thought you would look good in too for around 12K but it had sequins and I know you don’t like those so I didn’t get it.” You found it alarming that he was willing to spend so much money on you. Extremely alarming that he was talking about it so casually like he had nothing to lose. Well, he really didn’t being Zayn Malik and all but just looking at the red fabric made you want to burst into tears because God it was so much money.

“Zayn…okay I know you wanna spoil me and all but, God, buy me shoes or something. Or like non-expensive things that I could probably buy myself. Like this dress is beautiful, it really is but I’m not accepting it. It’s way too much.”

“To be honest I don’t care,” he answered and you raised your eyebrows. It wasn’t often when Zayn disagreed about something with you, especially concerning money. “I wanted to buy it so I did. I’m giving it to you because I love you. End of discussion.”

“But Zayn—“

“End of discussion. Now mind taking off your clothes to try it on?”


“Love, we both know you only love baseball because of the fact that any man’s arse looks ten times better than it does normally.”

“Excuse fucking me Tomlinson but it takes hardly anything to run back and forth across a fucking field compared to having to hit 90 miles an hour baseballs hurtling at your face.”

You were having the age old argument with him. Honestly, normally it was something random that you wanted to talk about concerning baseball and you actually thought that you both could have a civilized discussion about sports. But of course, Louis always tried to upstage your preference by comparing how much better “football” was compared to your beloved baseball. And of course, you both ended up getting into an argument because of it.

“Oh please, what do you even know about baseball! You’re a girl!” That set you off immediately and he knew it. The moment it slipped out of his mouth, his eyes widened from his position on the kitchen counter to where he watched you slicing up an onion for dinner. Pointing the knife at him, he immediately raised his hands up in defence as you walked up closer to him.

“You know very well that I used to play baseball Tomlinson,” you said to him. “You know damn well that I was the starting pitcher and best right field that any team ever had. I’ve been watching and playing baseball almost as long as you’ve been playing and watching damned soccer so don’t tell me that I don’t know anything about my sport.”

“I’ll um wear the Yankees uniform for Halloween,” he bargained. “Just put the knife down babe.”

“The pants too?”

“Anything for you…and I’m not just saying yes because you have a knife pointed at me but because I love you very, very, very much.”


You were hanging onto his leg and he was just staring at you. There was no expression on his face other than just him looking down at you and probably thinking that you were close to insane. 

 “Please?” you begged and he shook his head. “Please? Come on it won’t hurt anyone!”

 “I’m not taking a selfie.” You hugged his leg tighter as he tried to wiggle away. 

“Harry please! You always say my selfies are so pretty, so be in one loser!” 

“Insulting me won’t make me take a selfie with you baby,” he replied, casually bending over to pick you up, squealing and shaking as he tickled you repeatedly. You knew Harry loved taking pictures, his photos always some weird boyband basic trend that you had seen so many times before. But hardly had he taken a selfie with you to post personally. He had no problem with stealing group photos and ones that other people took of you both, but when it came to taking picture of himself, you had literally never met anyone so camera shy. 

 “Please?” You laughed out once he finished with his tickles. “Just one selfie before we go to Liam’s party.”

“Do I have to?” he whined and you nodded. “I don’t even like photos baby please? People are gonna take pictures of us anyway!”

 “But I want a photo of us!” He groaned. 

 “Just this once,” he warned and you squealed, grabbing your phone and pressing a kiss to his cheek repeatedly so you knew he was gonna smile as you snapped the picture quickly. 

 “See! Look how fucking adorable that is!”

“Yeah yeah, let’s go Miss Paparazzi.”

anonymous asked:

can you rec me some of your fav fics??

this is going to be long as heck and i still think i left out some good ones but let’s get this show on the road. :D

amaryllis - 147k

“Where are we?”
“Um. A little while out of London?” Niall tries, seemingly the only one willing to not be mysterious and provide Harry with information, and. Oh.
London London? As in, the capital of England London?” he asks, just in case he’d misheard.
“No, the other London,” Louis laughs, low and biting. He comes closer finally, the moonlight just enough to reveal a sharp-cut jaw and pale skin. “Sorry, Pup.”
Nobody’s ever called Harry a “pup”. Frankly, he finds it quite insulting, but he lets it slide to try and comprehend his current crisis.

or the one where harry gets bitten by a werewolf. louis is the mysterious not-quite alpha, liam and zayn have Things going on, niall is their token human, and together, they watch a lot of TV.

to be loved (and to be in love) - 30k

“What? I’m a very quiet person.” Harry shrugs, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

 Louis purses his lips.”You seemed a bit more reckless, I guess,” He says. “Must be the curls.”

 “Must be,” Harry agrees, nodding and smiling. Louis makes a humming noise and pokes the corner of Harry’s mouth.

 “Those dimples, too. Very rebellious looking,” He tells him, crossing his arms and grinning like mad.

-or the one where Louis’s popular, Harry’s not and they bond by trying to get their friends together while accidentally matchmaking the entire school.

to be a muse may be enough - 7k

When Zayn came to him with a job, Louis never expected to be sat in a studio, wearing lipstick and reading a book about Death whilst being plugged with a vibrator. Did he also mention he’s being filmed by the fittest photographer he’s ever seen?

a.k.a the hysterical literature AU i can’t believe hasn’t been written yet

best served cold - 38k

Louis was a drama student, so it only made sense that when his best-friend Zayn wanted his help with his film project, Louis agreed. He thought seducing heart breaker freshman Harry Styles would be easy, until he met him and realised the real task would be to not fall in love with him.

beautiful - 18k

“Wait Harry invited you?! You mean the Harry that Louis has been pining over since year seven? The Harry Styles that had Louis call Zayn because he accidently liked one of his facebook statuses from three years ago? The Harry that had Louis-“
“We get it Niall,”

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Phil’s Liveshow 3/9/2016

*many of these quotes are not word-for-word, but basically what he said

  • He was eating “Prawn Cocktail” Pringles while playing The Witcher 3 before he came on
  • The cat shirt is back! (the one with the secret pocket) found in the bottom of his closet
  •  lost his Captain America shirt :(( 
  • He was also wearing shorts (cheeky knee) & non-matching fox socks 

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anonymous asked:

Ten reasons why you love Niall. Go!

Sooo, I really wanted to keep it at just 10 – I swear – but I kinda sorta got carried away because, well, it’s Niall, and I love him a lot. Basically I thought to myself “I’m gonna go for 10 personality traits I love about him” – but then while I was making that list, I started thinking about Niall’s face and his body parts and, well, now I’ve got two lists that equal to about 22 things I love about Niall Horan (with the option to add more as I go if I need.)

So here’s-

22-ish reasons I love about Niall Horan:

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