this was funny in my head i swear

Nightblooms Wedding Starters - Pre-Ceremony!

“Do you think Lusamine is going to show up?”

“You come into my house on this, the day of my daughter’s wedding…”

“_______, please, stop saying that to everyone.”

“I heard that Cassie is from another dimension. Do you think she has something to do with those Ultra Beasts?”

“I forgot my sunscreen…”

“I heard that there’s a really powerful Pokemon here in Ten Carat Hill. Do you wanna try and find it?”


“I swear, if all these wild Pokemon end up eating our food, I’m leaving.”

“Wouldn’t it be funny if they both showed up in the same dress?”

“Hey Gladion, isn’t your wedding in about a month?”

“Why…why is there a Wimpod on your head?”

I have a head canon that Lance keeps pranking Keith by switching his Galra blade with a butter knife:

Keith: Lance, where the hell is my knife!

Lance: It’s in your hand. 

Keith: This is a fucking butter knife Lance.

Lance: Are you sure? Look closer. 

Keith: I’m seriously about to cut you.

Lance: You can’t, your knife’s too dull.


Dangerous Woman-Part 8

A/N: Buckle up fam! I normally do a lot of research for my stories but this was ridiculous!

Warnings: Fluff/Badass/Swearing/Blood/Wound

Summary: You’ve caught the eye of Tony Stark to become the head lawyer for the Avengers. You never expected your life to change but fate has a funny way of turning everything upside down. 

Bucky x Reader 

Part 7 / Masterlist

Originally posted by stuckwithbuck

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Loner 3.0

Post TLC.  There’s gonna be one more part. This is still fluff. I swear the last part will be smut. *ducks* I just needed some fluff after tonight.

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Little green monster - Request Sam x Reader

Request: Can u make plssss a imagine when the reader is talking to Charlie and Charlie flirt with her and Sammy gets jealousy? Make it funny and fluff Ps: i love your writing My englis suck sorry 🖖

A/N: Thank you for the request! Hope you like it :) There’s like one swear word in here just to warn you. 

“When’s Charlie getting here anyway?” Dean questioned, feet kicked up onto the chair next to him. Sam started to respond before you heard a small knock at the door. All three heads turned, and you stood up with a groan as your muscles remembered how to walk again. The boys followed, and when Dean opened the door, a petite redhead girl stood outside, holding so many bags and boxes that she bore resemblance to a pack horse. “You gonna help?” She exclaimed, and Sam reached out for her things. 

You had made your way back to the library now, and Sam had set down Charlie’s bags on the table. She breathed a sigh of relief and went to hug the boys, and you stepped back politely as they greeted each other. “Who is this beautiful woman you’re dragging through the mud with you?” Charlie asked, sending a flirty smirk your way. Sam coughed awkwardly and she turned to him. “Charlie, this is Y/N.” You learnt forward and shook her hand, gifting her a small smile. 

Dean chuckled, recognizing Sam’s jealously that you had not yet sensed. “This is going to be interesting.” Dean murmured under his breath and left the room for a beer.  

“You need to teach me how to do that!” You marvelled at Charlie’s laptop screen in awe as she leaned back in her chair, chuffed. “I’m sure we could arrange that.” She smiled, and you stood up from your chair. “Definitely.” You replied and watched as Charlie packed up all her belongings. Sam was seated across the room, eyes narrowed. You met his gaze and his face returned to it’s normal state of friendliness. With a confused frown, you looked back at Charlie, now standing in the doorway loaded up with all her things. 

You skipped down the step so you were level with her, and offered to help carry her things outside. “No, don’t worry I’ll be fine.” Charlie shook her head. “May I say, you totally wear plaid better than them.” Her eyes traveled over your body and you blushed. “Why thank you.” You accepted the compliment and did a little spin to display your outfit. 

Sam coughed indiscreetly, showing his obvious discomfort at the situation. You smirked, turned your head around to look at him, and then back to Charlie. Sam was now leaning up against the pillar in the library, arms folded. He avoided eye contact, instead opting for staring at his feet, jaw clenched. You couldn’t help but smile as you looked back at Charlie. “Anyways, thanks for all your help gorgeous!” You crooned and leaned forward to hug her. She grinned at you and you embraced her petite body for just a second longer than you normally would. When you broke apart, you stepped back, and Charlie waved to Sam. He responded with a tight lipped smile, and you brought a hand to your mouth to stifle laughter. “See ya round bitches!” Charlie called as she made her way up the stairs and out into the cool night air. 

Sam breathed a heavy sigh when the door shut behind her, and you finally addressed him. “What’s your problem?” 

Sam’s eyes flicked up to yours, and he straightened his posture. “My problem? My problem is whatever the hell that was.” He remarked, gesturing to the spot where Charlie had previously stood. 

You giggled and stepped up into the library and towards Sam. “Nothing. She was just being friendly, so I reciprocated!” You exclaimed, waiting for Sam’s response. 

“Yeah well, try being a little less friendly next time.” He murmured, and started down the steps and past you. 

You jumped to the side, blocking his path at the last second, and placed your hands on his shoulders. “Are you jealous?” You queried, analyzing his frustrated facial expression. 

Sam scoffed flippantly, but you maintained eye contact and rose an eyebrow. 

He frowned instantly, and looked down at his feet sheepishly. “Yeah, I guess. You can’t blame me though! She was all over you. I understand why she would be.” Sam’s outburst died out with the last sentence and you smiled shyly. 

“Sorry. You know it didn’t mean anything.” You spoke delicately and your hands fell back down to your sides.

“Does this mean anything?” Sam mumbled and he leaned down to kiss you. You wrapped your arms around his tall frame and returned the favor. “Definitely” you whispered as you felt Sam’s chest expand with relief. 

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If there was a Game Grumps club there would have to be Starbomb and NSP stuff right? So Hana meets Danny and Arin and they’re all cool and stuff like they could be friends. So one day, Dan mentions that he’s part of Starbomb and NSP along with Arin and Brian and asks Hana if she wants to listen to their music. So Hana says sure because why not it couldn’t be that bad. So later she puts the CD into Mai’s laptop and clicks on the song ‘Turbie’s Adventures in Reamland’ because it’s Turbie and he’s cool. Smash cut to the next day when Hana gives them back the CD with a red face and she’s all flustered and Danny is laughing his ass off and Hana doesn’t talk to them for the rest of the week. 


Blizzard just released a new party skin for Zenyatta. It’s called Pinyatta. 

please don’t kill me I swear I couldn’t get it out of my head


When Kin-chan’s blush it’s so bright it could light up an entire city :3c

I swear this was funnier in my head orz

Mafia AU-Yoongi

I Need You Pt1

Info: Yoongi part for Mafia AU…not good at descriptions sorry.

WC:1000+ (short part)

Warnings: Slight Violence

Originally posted by yoonkooks

“Listen…you’re beautiful, smart, funny. Hell, you’re perfect and I cannot lose you. So promise me that…promise me that if anything happens you will not turn back, you will run. You will keep running until you can’t anymore because I swear to god if anything were to ever happen to you. I wouldn’t be able to live another day.” His words rang through my head, I had promised him that night and made a vow to run away when trouble ensued.

It was a lie though, I could never run from danger when it involved him, I could never leave him. I ran, but towards the danger, towards his bruised and bloody body as guns shot off around us in the small warehouse echoing an ear splitting bang that resounded inside my heart all the pain I felt at the sight of his broken body. He had screamed at me to run, to leave him and chanting over and over that he would be okay because god forbid I get hurt too.

He wasn’t okay though, he was slumped behind a large shipping container, out of the way of gun fire. Jin was stooped down by his side trying to stop the bleeding, hands pushing firmly into Yoongi’s side with a look of urgent serenity. I couldn’t see the blood against Yoongi’s black button down, but it was there and Jin’s bloody hands proved that. The red liquid straining out of his mouth as he coughed gave way to how much pain he was holding in. His eyes closed in agony and the string of curses spilling out were more proof that he was in a dreadful state. When his eyes open to find me crouching down to his side hesitantly he looked ready to strangle me, why did I never listen to him immediately.

“Y/N what are you doing here? I told you to run, jagi I need you to get out of here…” He started coughing at the strain of speaking,“Fuck! Get out of here please, I’ll be fine”.

“Yoongi shut up! Talking is only going to make it worse,” Jin growled at his friend who was trembling in discomfort of the wound under his hands.

“You’re not fine! Look at you…” I let out a shuddering breath accompanying my slightly raised words, my body quaking with silent tears. How could he ask me to leave him, how could I ever leave him. My beautiful celestial lover with his rough voice and soft eyes. The man who had carried me so delicately into this world and promised over and over again that he would never allow anything to happen to me. I didn’t want that promise though, I had always only wanted his safety. He is my everything, my breath of fresh air in such a cruel world.

“I won’t leave you ever!” I screamed at him now fully sobbing at the image of my ragged lover. On my knees and clutching to his jacket as though it were my lifeline I chocked out more tears. One of his hands lifted to cup my stained cheeks, hushing my loud sobs with soft strokes of his thumb.The bullets around us started to die down as did my tears and from the sound of voices I could tell our side was winning. Namjoons authoritative voice ringing out over every other sound.

“They only have three men left!” His deep baritone blazed loudly. Most may think this was him telling the others to go all out, but I knew just as the Bangtan Boys aware, he was warning them to be careful. Namjoon always repeated a single phrase when referencing these moments “trapped animals fight harder”. It was more dangerous for me now than it had been before and from the way Yoongi’s eyes sparked in panic I could tell that my choice was truly idiotic, why do I never listen the first time.

“Get the fuck out of here!” His brash raised voice sounded agitated, his big dark eyes hardening in that families dominance he always exhibited to get his way. Then he doubled over and gasped at the sharp pain pumping through his veins. I know he won’t forgive me if I stay, he would be furious with me and lecture me on how I could have gotten injured or killed. We would fight all night and the only way it would end is with me handcuffed to the bed.

I nodded finally giving in, giving in to him as I had so many times before when he was right. He would be okay and Jin would take care of him, neither of them had ever let me down before. I helped guide him back into a sitting position and pressed my lips to his tearfully, ignoring the copper of blood as he pressed back with a passionate force. His breath staggered and urgent, pushing all of his unspoken love into the tender kiss.

“Go” They were the last words he spoke before lightly pushing me away, was he crying too? Yoongi had such emotional eyes, they always spoke for him when he couldn’t place his words and right now he looked so tired and so desperate. Desperate for me to leave him there, for me to get somewhere safe so there was zero chance of me being injured. I hesitated for a moment, not wanting to leave him when he was so weak.

“Don’t worry Y/N I’ll take care of him,” I looked to Jin who had silently watched or exchange, more focused on stopping Yoongi’s bleeding. I nodded and let out a shaky breath finally standing and making my way quickly from the scene.

I just managed to reach the stairs when a hand shot out, roughly gripping my arm with a bruising force. The large hand yanked me away from my escape route causing my head to snap back. A cry of shock and pain escaped from my mouth in a pathetic, high pitched noise.

“Lay your weapons down or I shoot her!” I looked to the man holding me, my eyes wide and fearful, was he going to kill me anyways. Yoongi always said men like this usually killed regardless of their words and the cold barrel of his gun pressed to my temple wasn’t convincing me otherwise.

“Stop shooting! He’s got Y/N” It was Jimin shouting, of course the Yoongi’s best friend would be the one calling for the ceasefire. Everyone froze in place on both sides, baited breath and hesitant trigger fingers. Jimin was stock still, but his gun was still raised and finger poised. Hoseok too, his eyes full of worry for me. We were very close friends, both teachers at the arts college and he happened to be my ex before Yoongi. Taehyung and Namjoon were the only ones who had downcast their guns, but their bodies were still poised with anticipation.

“I said put your guns down!” The burly man holding me yelled again, he looked panicked with mussed hair and crazy eyes, probably due to the lack of men he had left. They had lost most of the ten who had originally attacked the small warehouse and now only two were left standing, him being one of the two. The third from earlier had been shot not too long before I was grabbed. The second was now standing up from his hiding spot with a raised weapon, but his hands shook violently. He looked absolutely terrified as though he did not want this shoot out to continue. His feverish eyes flicked over the bodies of his companions.

“Let her go,” It was Yoongi, the idiot stood up and was ripping a gun from Jimins hand as he passed. He staggered forward with killers intent holding the weapon out towards the coward holding me, his hand was pressed roughly into the wound on his side in order to keep the blood flow to a minimum. His face was screwed up into a scowl, the look of pure rage present in those deep eyes.

“Hyung don’t be stupid!” Jimin shouted at him grabbing his shoulder and pulling him back before quickly ripping the gun from Yoongi’s weak grip. Jimin and Yoongi were very close and no one else would ever dare to so boldly take a weapon from Yoongi let alone yell at him. Jimin looked a little disappointed at his superior’s actions and was speaking to Yoongi in a hushed whisper. Yoongi seemed to want none of it though and started shaking his head rapidly, looking close to terrified.

“He’s going to kill her!” I had never heard Yoongi’s voice break like this, his body shook and he fell heavily to his knees. I hope he isn’t about to beg, that isn’t Min Yoongi’s style, he does not beg. I would not let him beg for me, my Min Yoongi was not this weak man before me. Tired dark eyes trained on me with a plead hanging silently in the air. He had never gone this far in all the years we’ve been together. He has never come across as so weak.

“Don’t you dare Min Yoongi,” I warned him, I was not about to let him shame himself for my well being. His heavy eyes were still locked on mine, blood staining his lovely pink lips and pale skin as it had run down his throat from earlier. He’s the picture of beauty and pain as he silently pleaded with me, wishing, begging for me to be safe. He looked so pitiful and all I wanted was to run to his arms and let him know everything was alright. That he didn’t have to be on his knees for me, that his pride was not worth giving up for me.

“It’ll be alright,” I cooed to him in hopes to ease his heart.

“Shut up bitch” The brute holding me jerked roughly and brought the blunt end of his gun down onto my temple hard. My vision flickered, black, white, red, is that blood I feel by my ear. I saw Yoongi hollering something, Jimin quickly bringing his gun up and Hoseok bounding over the nearest shipping container. Then, with a few loud bangs, everything went silent, black, empty.

I hope it’s okay! I would appreciate feedback and don’t worry, if you like it I have more coming. PS: I’m really not he best at punctuation so I apologize.

anonymous asked:

How many llamas do you think are born each year?

My guess? Llamas are probably too busy spitting at each other to do the do.

Funny story; when I was about 5 and my sister was like 2, we went to a safari park and they had llamas in a pen, but the fence was low enough that you could pet them. But since I was just a kid I couldn’t reach its head, so I was petting the llama’s butt and it got really mad, turned around, and spat at the first person it saw, which was my sister. And the force of it knocked her over and I swear I was crying so hard in laughter holy shit.