what were the norse gods like when drunk, you ask?
Odin: *steals Frigg’s wallet and dumps out a bunch of money* I️ GOT COINS FOR MY BITCHESSSSSSSS
Frigg: *loUD SOBBING* SOMETIMES PEOPLE JUST DON’T APPRECIATE HOW MUCH I️ DO FOR ALL OF MY HUSBAND’S CHILDREN—
Loki: look, dude, i can’t explain what happened. i ordered a drink, his finger touched mine accidentally and suddenly i was riding him. that’s just how life is.
Heimdallr: *chugs alcohol through Gjallrhorn*
Skadi: did??? did i not say vodka on the ROCKS? *stabs bartender* what’d we learn?
Njord: bitCH GON STEP ON MY FOOT,, MY P E R F E C T L Y P E R F E C T FOOT,, *pulls out axe* HOE BETTER WATCH YOURSELF
Thor: *singing a duet with Loki on karaoke* I️ *hiC* bLESS THE RAINS DOWN IN *inhales* AAAAAFFFFRRRIICAAAAAAA
Sigyn: *listening to Frigg ramble about her kids and Odin* ur too good for him, boo, dump him hon
Freyja: *rides chariot of cats into building* I️ HEARD WHAT YOU CALLED ME LAST WEEK, SQUARE UP J A N I C E
Freyr: I’m the god of peace… peas…. pees…. bees… I’m the god of bees guys
Hel: *drinks alcohol* *half of it falls through* well fuck this
Balder: oh no, i don’t drink. *loki throws shotglass at forehead*
Ran: if these bitches think they can touch my purse, just because i’m as turnt as Sif’s wig,,, y’all’re surely mistaken
Tyr: dude………………….. when did i like………… lose my hand………. weird brah
Sif: *steals microphone from Thor* BALDER’S HOTTER THAN YOU AND WE ALL KNOW IT *headbangs*
Bragi: CYNTHIA. CYN-THI-UUUH. JESUS DIED FOR OUR CYN-THI-UHS— ((bonus if you get the reference))
Forseti: I️ OBJECT *someone yells ‘it’s not even a courtroom’* I OBJECT