this was from a few months ago and i decided to finish it today

Today, I fucked up... by eating my roommate’s donuts

So my roommate and I were playing video games together, and I decided I wanted something to snack on. I got up and looked through all our cupboards, and found a half-eaten bag of mini powdered donuts. After bringing them over to the table we were playing on, my roommate said something like “Oh hey, I forgot about those.”

Apparently he had bought them a few months ago and never finished them. That should’ve been enough to make us throw them away, but we were hungry, so we thoughtlessly started eating them. The second thing that should’ve stopped us from eating the donuts was that they tasted funny. But we figured it was just from being a few months old, so we shrugged it off and kept eating them. About half an hour later, when we got to the bottom of the bag, there were only a few donuts left. My roommate looked in the bag to make sure he knew where to grab a donut from, when he stopped in his tracks and had this “Oh shit” look on his face.

He passed the bag over to me, and I looked in. In the bottom of the bag was a dead spider. And it wasn’t your average tiny house spider, it was a pretty decent size. That’s when it hit me: The donuts tasted funny because they were all COVERED in spider webs, and because the donuts were also covered in powdered sugar, we didn’t even notice. Seeing the spider in the bottom might have made me gag a little, but when I realized I had just eaten a bunch of spider web, I nearly vomited.

We immediately chucked the bag away, and I spent the next few minutes retching in the bathroom, hoping to puke up the donuts from hell, but to no avail. I am now scarred for life, and it’s safe to say I’m never going to eat powdered donuts ever again.

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