this was conceived at five in the morning

Holy sh*t life is cruel, but it is also so f*cking beautiful at the same damn time. Today the worst thing might have happened, but come five in the morning, the sky is twenty different shades of pink, orange, blue and you will lose yourself to the sight. We must submit to the fact that the world that endows heartbreak and anger is the exact same world that accords love and compassion. We deem our lives as unfair, but there is no conceivable way to comprehend one without the other. Be conscious of and accept the bad, but f*cking revel in the abundance of goodness life is conceived from the sunrise.
—  debbieb1rd 

Here you go, hope you enjoy! To check out some more if you feel like it, I have a masterlist here that has everything I’ve written for ACOTAR and TOG in it!

***

Having children was never something Amren was inclined to do. She found them irksome, and the way they couldn’t care for themselves and were so overly dependent was annoying. She had never truly loved a child until her family had started procreating. First was Cassian. She thought his son might be the true spawn of irritation like his father, but that feeling melted away the first time he clenched her finger in his fist, and she saw the dimples on his cheeks. Then Rhysand and Feyre popped out a little girl, and she had never felt the urge to protect as strongly as she had then. As more and more of them had children and her life was filled with calls of Aunty Amren and the sound of high-pitched laughter, her heart settled on the idea of kids – not her own, but loving someone else’s. No matter how much she loved her nieces and nephews, there was no way she would ever want to give birth. The problem? Her lover of centuries, Varian.

Amren couldn’t miss the way he stared longingly at families if she tried. It had started small at first: a lingering glance full of envy as he stared at Azriel and Mor with their son and daughter, being willing, even wanting to change shit filled diapers, holding babes close to his chest and just closing his eyes. But it became more than that. Tarquin gave him full reign of care over his children, and Varian took every opportunity he could to whisk them away and be the best uncle he could. Amren could admit that he would be a wonderful father. As for her? That just wasn’t something she’d ever considered or wanted. She’d seen women give birth, and there was no way in hell she was doing that. Amren knew this like she knew the sound of Varian’s breathing, like she knew the beating of her heart if he was near. So, as she looked at him now with Tarquin’s youngest giggling in his arms, she was afraid. Scared that this male she loved so much, who owned the key to her locked heart and soul, would leave her.

Varian threw his niece into the air and caught her, her little giggles echoing around the atrium.

“Thank you for bringing her back safely,” Tarquin said. His other children had been busy in tutoring today, but his little girl couldn’t read yet let alone learn history or languages. That meant that while Tarquin had a date with his mate, Varian got his daughter.

“Same time next week?” Varian kissed the toddler’s forehead.

Tarquin approached him while nodding before lifting his girl out of Varian’s arms. The High Lord cooed at her and cuddled her tight, the tot snuggling eagerly into her Papa’s chest, tiny hands clenching onto his jacket’s lapels.

“I’ll see you soon, take care.” Tarquin left, muttering things under his breath to his daughter about how much he loved her and how much her missed her during the day.

Amren would never be able to give Varian that. There was just no way she could ever carry a baby in her body.

That night as Varian released himself in her and groaned her name, a tear escaped her eye. Every time that she now made love to him might be the last. It was inevitable. Amren could not give him a child.

_____

It had started to happen.

Amren knew Varian too well for him to be able to hide his emotions from her. She could tell he was steeling himself to ask her if they could try to conceive a child. The first time she noticed was the morning after their five-hundredth and eighty-third anniversary, when she awoke to find him running his fingers over her bare abdomen. Then one day while they were walking down the Sidra he stopped to look at baby clothing, even though the clothes were too small for any child they knew. The week proceeding, she caught him reading a book of names, the fortnight after that he asked Azriel to teach him how to be a carpenter so he could build furniture for him and Amren. The piece he made? A crib. The first time something like this happened a seed of dread planted itself in Amren’s stomach, and every situation since had only watered it until it had grown to the size of her body, completely consuming her.

Amren could not give birth.

She sat across from Varian at their table, barely picking at the food while he enthusiastically ate. He kept giving her strange looks as she used her fork to push her peas into the shape of a dagger, but he didn’t comment. He did keep tapping his fingers on the hardwood table though, something he only did when he was nervous.

“There’s something I wanted to talk to you about,” he said as he laid down his cutlery.

Amren had dreaded this moment, but resigned herself to her fate. “Yes?”

“I’ve been thinking about us a lot lately. We’ve been together so long, and these years have given me nothing but joy when I’m with you. There hasn’t been a war in Prythian since the King of Hybern, and there are strong treaties between all the Courts. We’re perfectly safe, and I think that now would be the perfect time to maybe extend the little family we’ve made for ourselves.”

The look of pure hope on his face made Amren want to throw up the small amount of food she had managed to eat through her anxiety. She didn’t reply, just turned her head to the side. Varian misread her distress as hesitancy so he got up from his chair and came around the table to kneel in front of her. He took her hands in his, the rough feel on his calluses from centuries of sailing on her skin was the most comforting feeling she could hope for at a time like this.

“I don’t know…”

“Amren, I love you. I have since the first time I say you in Adriata and you looked like you were going to murder me, but then stood and drank with me anyway when I was feeling lonely. You are everything to me, and I can’t imagine a life without you. It’s been nearly six-hundred years, Amren, and I think we’re ready to-”

“Don’t say it.” She hissed.

Varian’s face fell slightly, but he tried to hide it with a smile. “Amren?”

“I can’t,” she breathed.

“It doesn’t have to be now, for now we could just talk about the idea of a child.” He lifted his hands to caress her face but she grabbed his wrists to stop him.

“I’m never going to be able to give you what you want, Varian.” She stood up and stepped away from him, releasing his wrists and looking away.

“I… This – okay then.” Varian’s shoulders slumped. “I’m happy with just you Amren. I always have been and I always will be.”

When Amren finally looked up, she didn’t see a man content with his relationship staying the way it was. She saw a man with tears in his eyes and a hand on his forehead. She saw a man whose hands were shaking slightly and whose cheeks had reddened. Varian was no liar, he meant what he said about her, or at least he thought he did. Sometimes, the person who knows your emotions best isn’t yourself. Amren looked away, covering her mouth with her hand to supress her emotion. Amren could see the truth between them like shadows dancing – Varian was already a father. A father, who because of her, did not, and never would, have a child. The last six hundred years had been the best of her miserable existence. They had been a light, love and happiness that she did not know possible, and it was because of the male in front of her. If she did not let him go now, then she would destroy him. She would shatter him into a million bitter pieces where not even one was capable of a selfless love. She would make him like her.

“This is it,” she said.

“This is enough,” he genuinely believed.

“No, it’s not.” Amren turned her back to him, her face crumpling. Amren prided herself on her control, so as the tears fell down her face it was just another reason for her to feel ashamed of herself. “This has to stop.” She whispered.

Varian came behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his face in the crook of her neck. “I agree. I don’t want to fight with you. Let’s just go to bed, okay?” He kissed her neck, and it only made her cry harder. “You’re shaking,” he said with concern, tightening his arms.

This is over.”

“Amren?”

She turned and because she was selfish and she loved him she kissed him one more time. She breathed the last of her soul into that kiss, tasting him for long enough that she prayed his essence would stay on her lips forever.

When it was over, she put her cheek to his and pulverized her heart. “We can’t be together anymore.”

As he stood there in utter shock, his eyes wide and mouth unmoving, she left him.

It was for the best. That’s the only thing that made her capable of walking out that door.

____

Varian stumbled into the palace of Adriata, guards yelling in concern as he did. The way he was walking and breathing made them think that Varian had been attacked, that somehow he was injured, but the reality was much, much worse.

The red marks his tears had marred down his face were so raw it looked like he had been clawed at. His breathing was so shallow and inconsistent that his sobs were no longer possible. His chest hurt so much that he had a hand clutched to it at all times.

As Varian crossed the threshold to the opening atrium, his knees buckled and he fell to the floor. He could hear people calling his name and feel their touch as they tried to make him stand, but nothing could be done. His eyes were glazed and he could see nothing but the blurred ivory marble floor.

How could this be? How could she be gone? What could he do to get her back?

Eventually, it was Tarquin and Cresseida that picked him off the floor, his cousin carrying him over his shoulder and taking him to his room at the palace. A healer was called, but after confirming that there was actually nothing physically wrong with him, she left. His two closest family members sat with him, his sister in tears with worry and Tarquin begging him to tell him what’s wrong. Varian could not find the words to say what happened with Amren, so he simply closed his eyes and hoped when he woke up he would have a miraculous answer on how to fix this mess.

____

“I know what happened,” Tarquin said as he passed Varian a tray of breakfast.

“How?” he croaked.

“I contacted Amren and she told me that she ended the relationship. But why? Varian, I had no idea you two weren’t happy. I wish you had told me so I could’ve helped you.”

Varian sat up in his bed, a pile of cushions behind him so he could easily lean and be comfortable. His throat was so dry from the night before that when he saw the glass of water Tarquin had for him he greedily drank it. His throat was still burning though, his whole body was, and he doubted it would end soon.

“We were happy. Or I was. I had no part in this decision.” If Varian closed his eyes, he could pretend that the night before had not happened. That he hadn’t been stupid enough to bring up the possibility of children when she was so obviously uncomfortable. He has such an ass, thinking that maybe if they talked it through she might be more open to the idea; instead, all he’d managed to do was push her away.

“What happened? You two have never seemed… I never thought you would end.” Tarquin asked hesitantly.  

“I want children and she does not.” Varian whispered. The image he’d been picturing for a hundred years now was disintegrating in his mind. An image where he walked along the shore of Adriata with his child in his arms and his wife at his side. An image where together he and Amren taught their boy or girl to sail and fight and lead.

“At all? She seems to enjoy spending time with children. Maybe that maternity doesn’t spread to her own offspring.”

Varian was no idiot; he knew exactly why Amren wouldn’t want kids, and he should’ve thought of that before broaching the subject. “I think the more likely problem is that she doesn’t want to be pregnant. When it comes to her body… It has always been purely her own. She doesn’t eat certain things because she doesn’t like the thought of it being inside her, will only let certain healers treat her if she’s injured, doesn’t like it if people touch her without her explicit permission. I think she sees growing a baby as a violation to herself. Or, not a violation, but an intrusion. She would never be the same after that – that’s where the problem lies. And Cauldron, I can’t blame her for feeling that way. Thousands of years and she’s finally proud of the skin she walks in, I could never insist on taking that away. I’m such an idiot.” Varian groaned and put his face in his hands. He was so ashamed for thinking about his wants and desires before considering the impact it would have on her.

“Varian, just as there is nothing wrong with her not wanting to be pregnant, there is nothing wrong at all with you wanting children. Have you considered other options?”

“Like what?” Varian unintentionally snapped. “We could adopt, but where the hell would we find an unwanted child? Not even the Illyrians abandon their bastards anymore. Or I could make her endure a surrogate, what women doesn’t want to watch her man fuck another female? Mother above, we were in our twenties when we went Under the Mountain. I don’t know how to actually live without her, Tarquin. What am I – what am I going to do? I – I-” Varian’s tangle of words ended in a shaking sob.

Tarquin, having raised five children at this point, knew how to be soothing. He sat next to his cousin and best friend and put his arm around his shoulder, letting him cry into his shoulder while he smoothed back his hair.

“Do you want to be a father, Varian?”

“Yes,” he hiccupped. “But only with her. I could never look at another woman.”

“I might have a solution for you,” Tarquin offered. “But first I want you to take some time to yourself first, just give me a week and I promise I can give you at least one thing you want. Do you agree?”

“I’ll do anything,” Varian resigned.

Tarquin nodded and then left Varian with his food and guilt.

____

Amren had not left their home in over a week. Or was it now just her home? Varian had not come anywhere near it, she would know if he had. She had spent the miserable days without him alone, the only interaction she’d had with another person was when Tarquin had messaged her frantically to say something was wrong with Varian and she must come. She replied saying in time Varian would heal, and explained in a single sentence that they were no longer together. All it took was a single sentence, and suddenly the past six hundred years of her life were exactly that – the past. She would no longer wake up to Varian at her side every morning, would no longer sail the world on a whim, would no longer feel like she belonged in this world dominated by High Fae.

Her friends and family had come by desperately wanting her to let them in so they could help her, but she sent them away. This was a problem she needed to deal with on her own. The only person who could get through the wards she had laid around her home were Varian, and hopefully he had embraced the fact that he was better off without her.

She sat at her bay window, clutching a pillow to her chest and gazing out into the rolling sea. The way the moon shimmered off the thrashing waves reminded her of sunlight glinting of Varian’s hair, and it made her smile. When she looked at the stars, she only saw the constellations Varian had taught her while they were on the sea so that no matter where she was, she’d never get lost.

But what if I lose you? she had joked. When she was with him was the only time she allowed herself to be vulnerable, and under her joke hid a serious question and insecurity.

He had kissed her until she had forgotten her words, and made love to her until she knew for sure that the only way they would be parted was through death, and maybe not even then.

Amren’s gaze jolted away from the window as she heard a faint but insistent knock on the door. Who the fuck broke her wards? She was fuming. She didn’t care that her hair was a gritty mess on her head and that all she was wearing was one of Varian’s old shirts, she was ready to murder.

She stormed to her door and picked up a dagger on her way, fully prepared to throw it in the face of whoever was disturbing her. She threw open the door snarling, but went silent as she saw Varian in front of her. The dagger dropped to the ground with a clang, and she lowered her arm.

“Varian? What are you doing here?” She had a lot of things to be embarrassed about, but she found herself not caring that he was seeing her in this state. He had seen her at all her best and worst moments, and been there for her through every one. Surely, he could handle seeing her break down like this too.

“I have only two questions, and it could change everything. All you have to say is yes or no.” Varian looked put together. He was clean shaven and bathed, the scent of salt and lavender that followed him everywhere invading her senses. He had on a Summer Court suit made of fine whites, golds and greens, and he was adorned with golden jewellery.

She had lost the ability to produce coherent words so she just nodded. She didn’t think for one second that Varian’s appearance meant he was taking this easier than she was, but she was intrigued about why he had put so much effort in his lookds when he was just seeing her.  

“Am I correct in saying that when it comes to us having a child, the obstacles have to do with pregnancy and birth more so than raising a child?” His eyes glimpsed up and down her. They were filled with longing and sorrow, likely mirrored in Amren’s.

“Yes.”

“If there was a way for us to have a child without having to conceive it, would you? With me?”

Amren had never considered this option. Adoption in Prythian was very uncommon. On the rare chance a child had no parents, someone else from the family would swoop in and take them to raise. After the war there had been a few children in need of homes, but that was quickly sorted. The Illyrians no longer abandoned bastard children, and even then Amren had no right as a fae to take one of them to raise for herself. Surrogacy, or a donor mother, was something that was beyond the bounds of possibility. For a fae to get pregnant was unlikely enough, let alone one who was willing to do so just to give the child away. And it also meant that Varian would have to intimate with another woman. Polyamory was something they had experimented with before, but only together. She didn’t think she could handle him being with someone else if she wasn’t there too. All it was, was another failed alternative.

“There’s no way-”

“Just answer yes or no. If we could have a child without you giving birth, would you do it?” His hands were the only part of him that betrayed how nervous he was about her answer. They were fiddling with his belt, and she wanted nothing more than to reach out her hand and stop his fretting with a kiss to his palm. But they couldn’t do that anymore. There was one thing she could do though.

“Yes,” she answered again.

His fingers stopped and a smile as wide as the Sidra graced his beautiful face. “I love you,” he breathed.

“That doesn’t change anything! I still can’t give you what you want. You have to have children, Varian. And when you find a female that you love and who can give you that you will be the best father in Prythian, but that woman can’t be me.” She stepped away from him and tried to close the door, but he stuck out his foot so it was in the way.

“If you come with me I can show you something that I swear you’ll want to see. You just have to keep an open mind.” He put his hand on the door frame and wedged himself further inside their home.

She rolled her eyes and put her hands on his cheeks. “I will never stop loving you, and I wish I was able to give you a child, wish I could watch you as a father to our baby but I cannot, and will never, get pregnant.”

He leaned forward and quickly kissed her. “You don’t need to.”

_____

Amren was led by Varian to Adriata’s palace. His steps were hurried and he never let go of her hand as he pulled her down the stone spiral staircase that led to the infirmary. She had no idea what was going on and knew that she should probably be nervous about whatever shenanigan he was going to lead her into, but his excitement made her slightly giddy.

Before she had left she had quickly thrown her hair into a bun and put on pants – the situation would probably require them. When they had made it to the infirmary, Varian bypassed the healer on shift and went straight to the room at the end of the hall. The stopped outside the door when he turned and kissed her again.

“I love you,” he reminded her.

He reached his hand out, it was trembling slightly, and opened the door.

The inside of the room was the nicest area Amren had ever seen in an infirmary. The navy drapes covering the walls made the room seem bigger and warmer, and the carpet was a bright red colour. There was a multitude of mahogany dressers lining the walls and in the exact centre of the room was a white cradle.

Amren stared at it, and Varian pulled her forward so she could see more.

Inside the cradle was a small infant, with white curls and lovely dark skin. The baby had pointy ears like the fae and tiny little hands and feet, which were kicking as the baby looked up at them. The baby’s eyes were the most precious green, like seafoam.

“She’s ours, if you want her.” Varian let go of Amren’s hand so he could pick up the little girl. She tucked into his chest, one of her hands making a fist as she grabbed onto his shirt. It was exactly how Tarquin’s daughter acted when held by her father.

“How?” Was all Amren could manage to say.

“One of our patrols found her near the border, completely and utterly alone. She couldn’t have been older than a few days and as hard as they tried to find her family they couldn’t. They waited to see if someone would come to claim her, and when no one did they informed Tarquin. Amren, don’t you see? We wanted a child, so the Mother gave us one.”

Amren’s breathing became unsteady as she looked at the small girl. “What if I’m a terrible mother?”

“You won’t be, I’m certain of it. Amren I’ve – I’ve already signed the certificates making her officially my daughter. We’ll wait for you, if you need some time.”

Amren knew from that statement that Varian was one-hundred percent in this, and his confidence in himself made her feel better about her being a parent too. Even if she did everything wrong, if she was absolutely terrible at being a mother, Varian would be good enough of a father to make up for it.

Amren walked forward and peered at the tiny baby, her green eyes staring curiously back. Amren put out a hand and ran a finger down her soft cheek, and in response the baby closed her eyes. And just like that, she was asleep.

Amren looked up at Varian and held out her arms. With a smile on his face, he handed the baby to her to hold. Amren shuddered a breath with the baby in her arms, and she knew the truth. This baby was her daughter, and she would try to be the best mother she could be.

“Our baby,” Amren sniffled.

“I love you.”

“I will never be able to thank you enough, my love.”

Be Lonely With Me - Chapter Three (Bughead AU)

Summary: A young single mother and a successful author meet at a creative writing class in New York. Betty is trying to get the education that she had to sacrifice to bring up her daughter and Jughead has run out of inspiration for his new novel. Can they help each other?

A/N:Thank you to everyone who gave me such amazing feedback on my previous chapter!! I wonder how the Betty and Jughead/’James’ interaction is going to go here… I hope it lives up to expectations! Thank you to my amazing beta @allthingsbughead​ (I don’t know what I would do without you)!! AO3 is down at the moment so I’ll update that in the morning.

Approx. 2450 words

chapter list here 
read on AO3 here

“You don’t have to organise the whole bookstore you know” Kevin teased from his seat on the counter as he watched his best friend manically reorganise one of the bookshelves alphabetically by author and title. Betty poked her head around the precarious stack of books that she was balancing in her arms and glared at him, Kevin just laughed.

“You can always help me Kev” she muttered, gesturing to a further five piles of books on the floor and raising her eyebrows expectantly.

“Nope” Kevin smirked, “That’s what I pay you for. Besides, I quite like the random and disorganised shelves, it adds character to the old place” he said, looking around the shop proudly.

Bookshelves of all different colours and sizes lined the walls of the store and zigzagged across the room in no particular formation, like a multi-coloured labyrinth. Potted plants sprang from corners, flowery vines snaking up the shelves and walls, and classical music played with the quiet buzz of interference from ancient speakers that needed replacing years ago. Since Betty had started working there, she had set up a small café in the corner of the store - just a couple of sofas with coffee tables - where she served tea, coffee, and homemade cakes. Customers often nestled down in the comfortable sofas and lost themselves in the books they had just bought. Within the café, Betty had also placed a small bookshelf of second-hand books that customers were welcome to read for free with their cup of tea. It added a homely feel to the place that encouraged customers to stay and browse.

Kevin had inherited the bookstore from his grandmother a few years ago and, even though he had little interest in reading, he had wanted to continue the business in her memory. He had met Betty soon after when he was advertising for a store manager but couldn’t afford to pay someone professional. Betty had turned up to the interview, having burnt through her savings, with a six-month old baby in her arms and Kevin had fallen for the little girl almost immediately, insisting it wouldn’t be a problem for Betty to bring Josie with her on her shifts and had even built the children’s section of the store specifically for her. Together, him and Betty had painted a corner of the shop with brightly-coloured jungle animals, fairies, and dragons, as well as furnish it with bean-bags and tiny chairs for kids to lounge around on while their parents shopped. As it turned out, Josie was brilliant for business as she sat in her high-chair and gurgled at customers, sending them into a baby-obsessed daze and encouraging them to come back and play with the gorgeous green-eyed toddler. Sales had increased enormously. Betty was convinced that, even now, some of the regular customers still visited the store specifically to see Josie as she frequently joined Betty on her Saturday shift. Mrs Everstone - one of the store’s regular customers - always brought lollipops for Josie on a Saturday, even if she didn’t have the time to browse.

“Betty, can you please stop organising the shelves? Mr Jones is going to be here any minute and I don’t want you knee-deep in a stack of books when he arrives.” Kevin reasoned.

“Fine” Betty muttered, carefully placing the remaining books back on the shelf and brushing herself off as she stood up. Her dark-green skater dress reached her mid-thigh and was pulled in at her slim waist by a thick brown belt, matched with a loosely knitted black cardigan, black tights, and black ankle boots with a small heel. Betty had also worn her hair down so loose blonde curls brushed her shoulders and Kevin could faintly smell the expensive perfume that Veronica Lodge - Betty’s only other friend in New York - had bought for her the previous Christmas. Kevin smirked at her knowingly.

“What?” Betty demanded.

“Oh nothing, you’ve just made quite an effort today I noticed” Kevin said, still smirking.

“I make an effort every day” Betty protested, a faint blush spreading across her cheeks.

“I know, I just haven’t seen you in a dress since last Christmas” Kevin remarked smugly, winking at Betty as he gracefully hopped off the counter and headed to the shop’s tiny kitchen to refill his mug of coffee. “I hope you haven’t written a list of questions to ask James Jones” Kevin called from the kitchen, “We won’t be very popular if we don’t let our customers speak to him.”

“No, of course not” Betty replied as she nervously pushed the sheet of paper further into her pocket to hide it from Kevin. She wandered over to the middle of the shop where she had set up a desk and a pile of new copies of ‘Sweetwater’ ready for the author to sign, she straightened the table cloth for what seemed like the one-hundredth time and plumped the cushion on the chair gently. Just at that moment, her phone buzzed in her pocket. It was a text from Veronica.

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Distance (C.H.)

Background: Calum is a professional football player, assistant captain to be exact, and goes away for three months for tournaments around Europe. However, you don’t get the chance to tell him some vital piece of information before he leaves and he’s in for a surprise when he gets back.

A/N: I will actually write this imagine in first person just to see how it goes. Also, THIS GIF IS NOT MINE.

Masterlist || Ask

*****

(First Person POV)

I hunched over the toilet once again as I emptied the contents of my stomach once more. I felt my hair being secured into a makeshift ponytail behind my head in one hand while another rubbed soothing circles onto my back.
“Babe, that’s the third time today that you’ve been sick. You were also sick a few times yesterday too. I think you should go to the doctors and get yourself checked out,” Calum told me worriedly.
I sat back onto my heels as I spit into the toilet. “Yeah, I’ll schedule an appointment for tomorrow,” I reassured him and stood up to go brush my teeth.
He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist as he nuzzled his face into my neck as I brushed my teeth. “I’m just worried about you, babe. You don’t get sick often.”
I spit the toothpaste out into the sink, rinsed my mouth, and dried myself off. I spin around in his arms and loop mine loosely around his neck. “You always worry, Calum, but it’s okay because that only means that you care. I feel fine, aside from the sickness. I’m sure it’s just some food poisoning from the food we ate yesterday.”
He still frowned at me. “Still get yourself checked out, okay?”
I rolled my eyes. “I will, Mr. Worrypants. I’ll try to get one around the same time as your meeting tomorrow.”
He nodded, satisfied with my answer. “Just to put my mind at ease.”

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Natasha finds out she's pregnant

Natasha stared down at the pregnancy stick she had in her hand in disbelief - two pink lines. She tossed it on the bathroom counter along with the other five pregnancy tests she had taken that day. How could this have happened? It didn’t make sense. The red room had made sure that she couldn’t conceive - at least she thought so. At first, she was in denial. She ignored all the signs - blaming the morning sickness and nausea on eating the wrong foods until it had gotten worse and worse. Now here she was, sitting in the bathroom alone - scared shitless. So many emotions were taking over her. Fear, anger, confusion, and even a little excitement. She wanted so much to be angry at herself for even being in this situation but anger was pointless. It is what it is. There wasn’t anything she could do now.

She stared at all of the tests once again - somehow hoping her eyes were playing tricks on her but of course they weren’t. She was definitely pregnant. She hasn’t even told Steve yet. God, she knew that being with a super soldier would change her life but she hadn’t expected this. They never used protection mainly because they never thought they needed to. What would she tell him? Did she even want this baby? The more she thought about the other options, the more she realized there was only one option. Adoption seemed so unrealistic. If she were to carry a baby for 9 months, she sure as hell was gonna keep it. Abortion was also out of the question. It wasn’t until now that she realized how much she wanted this baby - Steve’s baby. The thought of killing the innocent child inside her just didn’t sit well with her even though she knew it would be the smarter choice especially since their jobs weren’t exactly the most stable or safe.

She mindless placed her hand over her belly and smiled softly. Steve’s child was in her. Their baby. She wasn’t far along - maybe a few weeks, a month at most but she loved the life inside her already. A love she never knew she was capable of. The front door opened pulling her away from her thoughts and she hurried up and threw all the pregnancy tests in the trash - careful to make sure Steve wouldn’t see them. She wanted to tell him on her own terms. She washed her hands and walked out the bathroom to go greet her boyfriend.

“Hey baby” she smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck before kissing him.

“Hey.” Steve responded with a dopey smile on his face. “What was that for?”

“What?” She kinked her eyebrow at him. “I can’t kiss my boyfriend. Fine.” She smirked and turned to leave but he caught her arm pulling her back in.

“I didn’t say that.” He kissed her passionately - lifting her off the ground as she instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist. Natasha wasn’t sure if it was the pregnancy hormones but she was horny. She needed him right then and there. Steve gently laid her down on the bed and took his shirt off. She could feel the growing bulge against her core and it drove her crazy.

“Clothes off. Now” she demanded as she stripped the clothes off of her body. She stared at his body as he took off the rest of his clothes and smirked to herself as her eyes landed on the “prize”. Yup, that was definitely the reason she was pregnant. It didn’t take long before his mouth was between her legs - sending her into pure ecstasy. God. To think she ever told him that he needed practice. He definitely didn’t need practice. From where she was he was an expert.

“Steve. I need you in me now” she hissed impatiently. She could feel her orgasm almost peak. Luckily he wasn’t in a teasing mood like he normally was and happy obliged to her request. The feeling of him inside her made her feel complete. She used to think it was cliche and stupid but being with him made her realize how much she needed him. He complimented her life in ways she didn’t even know she needed and now that she knew what life was with him - there was no way in hell she would want to go back to a life without him. Once they reached their orgasm together, Steve laid down beside her and held her in his arms.

“That was amazing” he breathed out still trying to calm down his heart rate. “Not that we ever have bad sex” he added once he realized she could take what he said out of context.

“You’re welcome” she chuckled into his chest. There was a moment of silence - both trying to enjoy the moment. “Steve” she whispered.

“Hmm”

“I need to tell you something” she propped herself on her elbow to look at him as she spoke. His eyes opened up and he was alert. “What is it?” She could see him furrow his eyebrows in seriousness. He was always such a worrier. She leaned in and gave him a soft peck of the lips before giving him a reassuring smile. “It’s not bad”

His face softened slightly but she could still see the worry. “I know it’s hard for you but I need you to try to not get yourself killed anymore.” She smirked at him as she saw the confusion growing on his face. “You’re so reckless sometimes and it scares the shit out of me. I know you can’t help but be an idiot in the heat of the moment but we need you”

“I’m not reckless Nat. Sometimes it just takes impulse to get the job done. You know that.” He started to defend himself but stopped once he saw the smirk on her face. “Why are you smirking at me?” She chuckled at his confusion which only caused him to be even more lost.

“You’re so clueless sometimes Rogers.” She shook her head and laughed at how cute he was when he was confused. “I don’t get why you men only listen to a part of what us women say and run with it.”

Steve furrowed his brows and started to replay what she had said but couldn’t find the hidden meaning in what she said. “I’m sorry, I honestly don’t know what I’m supposed to know. Could you help me out?” He gave her a small sheepish smile and the puppy dog eyes (which he only gave her when he thinks he’s about to be in trouble - knowing she could never resist).

She rolled her eyes and smiled at him. “I said don’t be stupid because we’re gonna need you” she emphasized her words, hoping he would catch on.

“The avengers don’t need me. They are perfectly capable of…” he stopped himself from continuing when Natasha laughed out loud again at his ignorance.

“I didn’t mean the avengers.” She shook her head and grabbed his hand and placed it on her belly. “I meant we”

Steve’s eyes flickered down to her belly. It took a few minutes for him to catch on but once he pieced everything together, his eyes grew in shock. “Natasha are you…” his words trailed not sure if he was correct. She nodded her head quickly. “Looks like you’re gonna be a babydaddy Rogers” she smirked teasingly at him.

“But I thought you couldn’t-”

“I guess that super serum is strong isn’t it” she rolled her eyes playfully. She watched as a huge kool aid smile plastered on his face. His eyes glued to her belly. “We’re gonna be parents” he said out loud. “We’re gonna have a baby”

“Yes we are.” She pulled him in for a kiss. When they broke apart, he immediately lowered his head to her belly and kissed it. “Hey. I’m your daddy” he spoke to the belly happily which only caused her to laugh more. “You’re such a dork babe” she shook her head teasingly at him. He looked back up at her and saw her smiling down at him. The happiness radiating off of Steve made Natasha realize how badly she wanted this family - a family she never wanted until Steve - until now. This was her life now - him and their baby. Their little family.

College Fraternity AU | BTS

Originally posted by bangtannoonas

  • a.complete.mess
  • wHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA ??? 
  • the house with the least members, but the biggest parties 
  • you think they’re drunk, but they’re like that naturally 
  • seokjin ended up being jungkook’s big 
  • “hyung what’s this” 
  • “that’s the alcohol cabinet” 
  • “why is it filled with apple juice?” 
  • “kIM TAEHYUNG” 
  • “HE’S A CHILD HE CAN’T HAVE ALCOHOL” 
  • all of them are friends from the music or dance club
  • tae & seokjin are the only ones in the drama club 
  • which explains the monologues being read at two in the morning
  • “oh by the light of my heart to the bottom of the red sea-” 
  • “hyung it’s two thirty in the morning” 
  •  “poor boy; conceived by women, trapped in this time of war and conflict-” 
  • “hyung I have an exam in three hours-”
  • “leT ME TALK” 
  • all of them have call names for each other 
  • jungkook is fetus 
  • hoseok is hoe-suck 
  • yoongi is MIA 
  • group study sessions until five in the morning 
  • the day of the exam 
  • and they all wake up late for the exam because gdi kim namjoon you broke the alarm
  • yoongi finishes his exam first and takes the long way to pick up the others so they can finish mY HEART 
  • and when one of them gets a girlfriend/boyfriend, they all get a girlfriend/boyfriend 
  • and at one AM, they’re all gathered in one room of the entire house listening to each other’s problems 
  • but they never tell anyone they do that because they.are.mEN
  • the last day of the semester is always a mess 
  • bottles. bottles everywhere. 
  • people. people every.where
  • “hOSEOK THAT’S THE FISHTANK” 
  • “jimin hyung come down from the table”
  • “will you love me???” 
  • “no” 
  • “LovE Me JeOn JUnGkooK” 
  • seokjin logic: cook for twenty people, buy alcohol for sixty 
  • “Y’nOw I pLAyed a tREe in MY SecoND gRaDE pLay” 
  • “tae no one cares” 
  • “sWAY SWAY EXIT OFF STAGE TWO” 
  • “hOSEOK STOP SCREAMING”
  • yoongi: “they’re gonna be so shitfaced tomorrow” 
  • also yoongi: ends up the most drunk
  • “i love you guys” 
  • “shut up Jimin you’re making my head hurt” 
  • “i’M TRYING TO BE SENTIMENTAL” 

:’’’’’’’) this just popped into my head goodness

-M

anonymous asked:

What are your favorite Hunger Games headcanons? *blows kisses* I love you.

Hi anon! These are just a couple of headcanons that I’ve slowly gotten attached to over the last couple of years. I’ve just kept it to during or post-MJ :)

  • Peeta spent his entire time during Katniss’ trial trying to work out everything, as to what was real and not real. He also knew she would never be convicted.
  • Dr Aurelius was originally from Thirteen, and after spending time with Peeta there, and with both Katniss and Peeta in the Capitol, realised what we all knew anyway. He also knew that they didn’t need him to get better, they just needed each other. He knew Katniss didn’t need him to talk to her during their sessions, and he knew that by asking Peeta to tell her to answer her phone, it was a guaranteed conversation between them.
  • Everlark woke up the morning after ‘Real’, and did nothing but stare at each other for a full five minutes before they both grinned like absolute idiots. It was the best smile Peeta had ever seen on Katniss’ face in his life.
  • Peeta never raised the question of children, until the day Katniss told him she wanted to have them. Spending those afternoons in the bakery after a long morning hunting, and watching him with the kids that came in left her with a weird ache in her heart that both terrified and thrilled her.
  • Toastbaby!girl was conceived out by the lake, while toastbaby!boy was conceived in the back room of the bakery.
  • After so many years of watching tribute after tribute be lost to the Games, Haymitch finally got a sense of peace the first moment he saw toastbaby!girl - because he knew she would never be at risk of being a tribute. He loved that kid hardcore, but if you asked him, he’d purposely avoid the question.

Thanks for the question! 😘😘

Stray: Part III

Prompt: [This is part 3 of a series] Reader’s parents were killed when she was little. She loses all love in her life. She makes a deal with a demon to have anything she wants, but the deal ends if she finds love. She has demons, hellhounds, reapers, hell maybe even low class angels wrapped around her little finger. Then something IDK what happens, and TFW comes after her, but she gets one glimpse at Cas and is in love but then the deal ends.

Word count: 2,385

Warnings: None.

Author’s Note:  Shout-out to Gen Y (to those who don’t recognize the song, it’s here).

Also, this is the last part (unless you guys want more, in which case, click on the button at the end!)

Part 1, Part 2

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

What percentage of your writing time is spent conceiving weird Stark nicknames? I'm asking this because I just saw him call Steve 'Capple Pie' and I was just thinking 'shit, that's great'

Oh man. Probably a good five to ten minutes of thought for every nickname :D

When I read this, early this morning, all I could think of was Mr. Collins from Pride and Prejudice:

They arise chiefly from what is passing at the time, and though I sometimes amuse myself with suggesting and arranging such little elegant compliments as may be adapted to ordinary occasions, I always wish to give them as unstudied an air as possible.