this was a hellish experiment


I KNOW I SAID I COULDN’T GO… But by some rushed and frantic stroke of luck @dyemelikeasunset and I ended up arranging fitting in sakuracon anyway?? apparently it wasn’t at the very beginning of april like i originally thought… so i whipped out some fabric like a wild reckless bee (don’t follow my example sdhsgsdfs)

anyway, it’ll be Naf’s first con and the first con we’ve gone to together so we’re definitely not boothing, just con-goers!!! we’re gonna debut the matching jacket we made in october 2016

And we’re mostly going for the sweet merch, so if you see us feel free to say hi!!! we’d love to take a photo with you!! ❤️❤️❤️  

and now it’s cosplay crunch time… bbs again 8)

i just. aggressively want victor to be cared for and cherished by everyone he crosses paths with. and not the “i’m a huge fan” and “can i get a picture?” kind of appreciation

i want him to be approached by a complete stranger when he’s dragging his feet through the supermarket aisles after a long day, “you seem a bit lost. can i help you?”

i want the clerk at the DMV to help him through a nasty red tape problem, and when he thanks them for making it go away, i want them to smile warmly and wish him a good week

i want someone at the airport to offer help carrying his 7 bags all the way to his uber

i just want victor to be showered with random acts of kindness from people who know him for shit beyond “the soft-looking guy who bothered to give me a heart-shaped smile/commiserate nod during the most hellish affairs of the human experience” 

bananannabeth  asked:

hey fee, what's going on?? i havent properly been on tumblr in like a week and a half or read tdp because uni is taking up all my time but i just saw your post and??? omg??? what??? im really sorry and i hope youre okay (i know that sounds shallow but like.. as okay as you can be when people are obviously being idiots)

usually i wouldn’t answer this publicly but like i am genuinely shocked by the vitriol being targeted at lesbians right now and like it’s the most thinly veiled attacks i’ve ever seen, people are barely even bothering to try and disguise what this is really about (read: “shut up you evil dykes we’re sick of listening to you complain about lesbian issues and we want to be left alone”). it’s gone like way beyond the realm of fandom discourse at this point.

an overview of what happened:

  • the dark prophecy was released a few weeks ago (so, spoilers for that, but it’s really not a big spoiler and i kept it quite vague and tbh y’all should probably read this anyway because like i said, it’s gone way beyond the realm of fandom discourse at this point).
  • it contains an older lesbian couple, who had to leave the hunters of artemis because they fell in love and wanted to be together. upon meeting them, one of the characters mentions that they thought it was only men the hunters of artemis swore off of, but the apollo corrects them and says it’s actually all romance.
  • (it’s worth mentioning that apollo says this bitterly. as in: he doesn’t approve or agree. and not for nothing, i might be projecting, but it sounds a lot less like “i’m a god with an overactive sex drive and my sister’s such a PRUDE” and a lot more like “i’m bisexual and i feel uncomfortable with this rule”)
  • this lesbian couple is upset about leaving the hunters. they wouldn’t have done so if they hadn’t had to, they say it was their family, but they had to leave because they loved each other more.
  • apollo mentions that they parted on good terms with artemis, because “she let you live” (good terms, those). the hunters visit them sometimes. artemis does not.
  • so, it is now canon that the hunters of artemis do not condone love between lesbian couples, and lesbian and bi girls who fall in love are no longer welcome in the hunt.
this doesn’t sit well with me, or several other lesbians and bi girls (or apollo, or the lesbian couple themselves, it seems like).
for several reasons:
  • grouping in heterosexual love in the exact same category as lesbian love is homophobic. it’s not a discussion of “equality” but rather an acknowledgement that lesbian love as it exists in the world today is socially taboo and forbidden, and thus banning lesbian love has the potential to do much, much more damage than banning heterosexual love.
  • implying that all romance, and in this case specifically lesbian romance, is against a code of honor, is homophobic. there’s just no way around this. actively being uncomfortable with lesbians in love for no other reason than the fact that they’re in love carries massively homophobic connotations with it. it just does. sneering at all romance doesn’t negate this problem. lesbians can be hurt in ways that straight girls cannot. sneering at their romance is homophobic, because as much as we all might hate it, the world is homophobic and banning lesbian romance absolutely does reinforce this system of homophobia. it does. (this is like, oppression basics, u guys. if u pretend oppression isn’t there, ur siding with the oppressor. “i don’t see differences in sexuality and hate all romance equally” = “i do not acknowledge that some of you need different precautions and protections because you are systematically oppressed in ways that others are not”). we are not all socially equal. we’re not starting on the same playing field. heterosexual love is not a social taboo, lesbian love is, case in point: it hurts lesbians much worse to ban their love than it does straight people. not to mention that it’s triggering for people who have been in spaces that actually did ban lesbianism (hi, me, it wasn’t a fun time, and i don’t appreciate the hunters having any resemblance to my hellish private school experience).
  • artemis is evidently quite hostile towards lesbians..for being lesbians. like, loving women is what makes you a lesbian, and if that bothers her so much that they can’t even be around her and be together…i mean, what can we conclude about her? shunning all love, in this case, specifically lesbian love, and apparently not even having it off the table that she might decide to kill them, is homophobic. it doesn’t work like “oh well she’s uncomfortable with all love in general.” you can’t hide bigotry by widening the radius of people you hate. you will never be able to disguise homophobia by also hating straight people. if anything, that’s even more homophobic, because it lumps us right in under a massive group of “people who fall in love” which…includes straight people, who systematically oppress us. not a fan of being compared to my oppressors. certainly not a fan of being banished alongside them.
  • it’s very important to note that plenty of lesbians feel this is a complete misrepresentation of artemis and the hunt, and are quite upset that someone they identified with apparently hates them. (and she does. artemis wants nothing to do with lesbians who are in love, refuses to allow them to be in love and also in her hunt, gave them an ultimatum between her and each other, would consider murdering them).
  • like, we’re not working off nothing, here. artemis has ABSOLUTELY historically been associated with lesbianism. i’m not pulling this out of my ass, okay. lesbian themes are present in tons of artemis’ myths, her “loving women” is mentioned in virtually everything ever written about her. granted, it’s never specified to be romantic or sexual, but keep in mind the time that these myths were being recorded and who was doing the recording (read: men who thought lesbianism wasn’t real). many hellenic wlw follow artemis today precisely for this reason. separating artemis from lesbianism is Not The Best Move rick’s ever had lmao.
  • the oath specifically says no men in titan’s curse. it absolutely does. if you assumed this also meant no romance at all, that’s on you and your heteronormative thinking, bud. but it reads “I, [name], pledge myself to the goddess Artemis. I turn my back on the company of men, accept eternal maidenhood, and join the hunt.”
  • pledging “eternal maidenhood” means “i’ll be a virgin” in children’s book speak. if you don’t believe me, notice how they refer to athena as a “maiden” goddess, but really mean “she can’t naturally conceive children [because she’s celibate].” they don’t mean “she’s single,” they mean “she doesn’t have sex.” maiden is a nicer term, but it means virgin: [adjective 1. (of a woman, especially an older one) unmarried. synonyms: unmarried, spinster, unwed, unwedded, single, husbandless, celibate.] we’re all familiar with the concept that you’re only allowed to have sex after you’re married to a man, right? well, that’s the assumptions this word was created under. don’t play dumb and try and say maidenhood means being eternally single; we all know what it really means and why the term exists. it doesn’t say wifeless, or even spouseless, it says husbandless. nobody was thinking about lesbians when they defined that word and rick wasn’t thinking about lesbians when he wrote the oath. thus: artemis is a virgin goddess who accepts virgins who pledge a vow of eternal virginity. that makes sense, because atemis is indeed a virgin goddess (literally the goddess of virginity) and some of her worst myths involve her kicking out hunters for “losing their virginity.” that’s got it’s own set of problems.
  • and yes, i am aware that artemis also explains the hunters “foreswear romantic love forever.” yeah, i got it. but she says this sentence in clarification to percy’s question—artemis says they’re immortal unless they break their oath. percy asks what oath. artemis says “to foreswear romantic love forever.” and as i just explained, the oath does not say that. she might’ve specified romantic love, but like, can we not play dumb here? it’s heteronormative. nuns also take a chastity pledge, but do we expect that this applies to gay nuns? no, we really don’t. like, don’t lie and say you were some enlightened ten year old being who read this line and thought “oh, thanks for clarifying artemis, i was wondering about lesbians.”
  • there’s like, an actual reason that artemis and her hunters swear off men: they’re dangerous. when she initially began her hunt, her mission was to rescue girls from being sold off to husbands they didn’t want to marry, or escaping abusive situations with their betrotheds and fathers (zoe nightshade, anyone?). i don’t see….when or why that turned into “all romance is distracting and inherently bad.” it’s not really very sensical. romance and sex were never the evils facing the hunt, it was the patriarchy.
  • in short: the hunt has become a hot fucking mess and lesbians (and bi girls but seeing as we’re specifically talking within the context of lesbian love it’s really implied that anyone who has the potential to experience that is part of the discussion) are upset. rick deserves a certain amount of blame for this.

now, see, the problem here that people can’t seem to get through their heads is that we’ve got a right to be upset about this. we are allowed to be upset about confronting homophobia in a character most of us liked and identified with.

  • and us complaining about that, explaining it, and pointing it out is…not “starting discourse”, however much you may think we’re crazy sjw dykes. i’m really not here in general for how any time someone is critical of a piece of media for valid reasons they’re immediately starting “wank” and “discourse.” it’s a misuse of the terms. discourse doesn’t mean “people have an opinion on why their marginalized group was represented badly” and wank doesn’t mean “we think this is homophobic” and you calling it that is a pathetic excuse to ignore what we’re saying. which is not to mention how incredibly transparent it is—discourse goes on in this fandom all the time. literally all the time. i’ve never seen anyone complain half as much about “fandom discourse” before as i have this past week.
  • and then there’s people derailing the conversation by making it about aroace erasure. first of all, it’s possible to like, talk about multiple things at the same time and there’s no reason why us discussing lesbians should have any bearing on aroace representation. second of all…. the hunters are like, not… technically even aroace? taking a vow of chastity and swearing off men is now equivalent to being aroace? does nobody see a problem with that? i’m stunned that people weren’t angry about that, to be honest, since it’s not exactly Controversial or New to say that asexuality does not equal celibacy and aromanticism does not equal an… eternal no romance pledge or whatever the fuck the oath even means anymore. like, cool, i understand you might be more inclined to take the oath if you didn’t experience sexual or romantic attraction, but that’s still a far cry from saying all of the hunters are aro and ace (and that’s. clearly not true. because some of them break their oaths. or join because they’ve been scorned by men they’ve fallen in love with).
  • which like, not to mention that they’re pretty hideous representation for you in general if they literally kill people who wind up falling in love? like, that’s your holy grail of representation? “you must have parted on good terms, she let you live” like okayyyy so you mean artemis’ typical course of action in dealing with girls who fall in love is to murder them? the fuck is wrong with yall 
  • people are actually offering this up as a benchmark for why artemis isn’t homophobic. she murders hunters who fall in love with men, but she let the lesbians live. like. this is the benchmark for lesbian allyship now, apparently. holy hell, people.
  • but sure, yeah, artemis, aroace patron goddess, who murders hunters that fall in love and refuses to offer protection to lesbians because they also fall in love, and calls love a “distraction” and thus pretends she’s the Enlightened One who isn’t sullied by romance. good one, guys. if that’s what you’re celebrating, and furthermore, if that’s the representation i’m “erasing” by talking about lesphobic issues, not only are you homophobic but like you’re just a plain old misogynist lmao. i don’t condone literally killing girls for falling in love and i certainly fucking thought it would go without saying that you people don’t condone that either, but apparently not! fucking hell.
  • which, anyway, even working under the assumption that it was good aroace representation, to accuse lesbians of erasure for being critical of how lesbianism is portrayed in a book? as if we were the ones who decided to include an ex-hunters lesbian couple? but we’re the ones who are guilty of the erasure for..what..talking about it? being angry? saying it’s homophobic? being upset that lesbians aren’t allowed in the hunt?
  • like, look, if artemis was presented in canon as someone who doesn’t experience attraction and started a convent for other girls who don’t, well that would be different, wouldn’t it? but she’s not presented that way. she’s apparently the patron to all women, so long as they don’t date men. zoe nightshade says she’ll accept anyone who takes the oath, no matter their species, and definitely regardless of their sexuality as well (because at the very least, zoe, the literal lieutenant, most definitely had other reasons for joining than being aroace, as did thalia, the current lieutenant, and emmie and jo are obviously not aroace yet still took the oath once, and annabeth even thought about taking the oath). it’s not, and never has been, about lack of romantic attraction. it’s about eternally swearing off all romance and banning love because love is bad.
  • i guess we all should’ve known this considering silena is all up in arms about the hunters telling her “love is worthless” in ttc, but damn call me stupid for daring to hope that as rick began to confront the rampant heteronormativity in his books we might have this patched up, too.
  • pro tip for like literally anything ever: if a marginalized group speaks up and says “hey that’s hurting us” you change your goddamn rules so it’s not anymore. like, for fucks sake, think about this in literally any other context but “lesbians are infiltrating artemis’ precious aroace safe space with their romance” and you’ll realize what condescending, homophobic fucks y’all are behaving like right now.
  • on another note: i have expressly explained this before, many times (there’s a link to one of them earlier in this post, and here’s another one), but it apparently bears repeating because nobody seems to understand: virginity is bullshit. it’s bullshit. it’s oppressive, invasive, creepy, misogynistic bullshit. will you stop pulling out this tired old argument that lesbians being allowed in the hunt somehow makes them invalidated? the idea that romance is distracting is stupid and ridiculous and condescending as fuck. the idea that your sexual history is anybody’s business but your own is disgusting. there’s no reason lesbians shouldn’t be able to be together in the hunters. there’s really not. there is a reason men are not allowed, and the reason is it’s a women’s space, to literally protect women from men.
  • this new information about the hunters cheapens the whole goddamn thing. like aside from being homophobic, it’s just plain sexist, now, too—we don’t swear off men because we’re making a statement about our lives in relation to the patriarchy, oh no!! we’re making a statement against romance. romance is bad. that’s the problem. who cares about protecting women from men? certainly not us, because we’ll kill you if you get abused by them! better keep your v card honey, or i’ll turn you into a bear!
  • and that brings me to the whole other subset of people trying to derail the conversation by making it about..rick hate? lol what? that rick is our ally and we should be grateful and he’s not perfect and he’s learning??? yeah, okay, i’m sure the answer to this is for all of us to just never talk about it at all? we’re not allowed to critique our own goddamn representation? how the fuck is he supposed to learn if you just try and smother everyone who tries to critique him by saying “HE’S A GOOD ALLY WHO IS STILL LEARNING!” like…cool? and i’m teaching him that i don’t approve of any of this, and i think it was a really underhanded way to represent us, not to mention still has gaping flaws in it?
  • like, yeah, whatever, i get it, artemis has her hideous flaws in greek myths as well. poseidon’s a rapist, hades’ is an abusive stalker, zeus is a megalomaniac serial rapist, but it’s not as though those were the characters rick chose to make look this bad, now was it? nope, it was artemis. he didn’t have to do that.
  • and even if he did, honestly, at the end of the day…who cares? it doesn’t matter who first created artemis this way. the fact of the matter is that in the series, she is, and that’s homophobic. it doesn’t negate the fact that we’re reeling from encountering homophobia from the hunters. it certainly doesn’t give anyone a license to tell us to shut up and get over it and stop talking and stop blaming rick. it’s homophobic. we’re allowed to talk about it, and be upset about it. let us fucking be.
  • of course the most hilarious thing is that this wouldn’t have even turned into “discourse” in the first place if y’all had just shut your fucking mouths and listened to us. instead, you started arguing, spreading around passive aggressive posts calling us too angry and telling us to chill out, sent us anon hate, blocked us, unfollowed us, and started complaining about all the other things i listed that are just fundamentally missing the point.

I just love how Hansol easily picked up Boo’s “discomfort” regarding the weight comment and immediately provided him with reassurance 😭💜
To me, he looked like he was worried, I bet he knows that Boo remembered the hellish experience he went through just to lose some weight… I was really livid before when I found out about him and Hosh going on a diet 😩
© verkwan_kr

cagedbirdsong  asked:

not really a question, but i always wondered about the significance of jamie telling randall "you owe me a debt," and claire shortly afterwards telling jamie "you owe me a life." xx

Remember that when Jamie wakes up in Wentworth Prison - in the first haunting, heart-crushing scene of 01x16 “To Ransom A Man’s Soul” - he croaks, “You owe me a debt.”

That’s because Randall had promised to kill Jamie when the night was over. Knowing that he wouldn’t have to live with the pain - and the shame - of what he had allowed Randall to do to him (even though he did it out of love for Claire) undoubtedly keeps Jamie going during that hellish experience.

So - because Randall does not kill him (though I’m certain he intended to - after all, we see him unsheath his sword right before the Great Highland Coo Charge), and because Randall is a man of honor (despite everything, he *did* let Claire go), Randall owes something to Jamie.

Jamie calls in that debt when he meets Randall in Paris. He can ask Randall to do something, and Randall (perversely) must acquiesce. So Jamie challenges him to a duel.

Now - there is a similar type of understanding between Jamie and Claire. Claire owes her life several times over to Jamie - and Jamie owes his life several times over to Claire. Because she saved Jamie’s life after Wentworth, he owes her a service. A favor, so to speak. So she calls in this favor by asking Jamie to spare Randall. And because Jamie is a man of honor (he even says so to Claire) who honors his debts, Jamie has no choice but to do what Claire asks.

It’s an odd turn of circumstances that Jamie is both the creditor and debtor of two very different - and yet hauntingly similar - oaths of honor. And in my opinion, he is a tad hypocritical - easily claiming a debt with Randall despite knowing that Claire will be angry with him, while becoming extremely angry and emotional when taking a debt with Claire.

They are both being selfish in how they claim their debts - and wound each other so deeply in doing so.

To me, this is the widest gulf we ever see between them. It’s even worse than when they weren’t fully communicating in 02x01-02x04 - because after enduring so much together, they know *exactly* how to hurt each other. Made even worse by the knowledge of cataclysmic events that are just around the corner.

In and Out- Newt Scamander x Reader

In and Out
Request: Hey, I was wondering if you could do an imagine where newt and the reader are in Hogwarts and she is being bullied by classmates and starts having a panic attack and after the bullies leave newt comes and comforts her? Could she please be in ravenclaw? Thanks

A/n: I am not in any way, shape or form romanticizing panic attacks. I’ve had them before and there is nothing good about them, this is simply a piece to help me cope with it AND possibly help others feel comfort.

Warnings: Panic attacks, angst, bullying in terms of physical and emotional harassment, also I would like to just say that the bullies’ names are purely fictional, and if your name is one of these, I apologize. They were just random names to go with the story, and I didn’t mean to offend anyone. Also, the characters who bully do not represent the house as a whole (as all houses are equally wonderful in their own ways).

*If you or someone else is being bullied or harassed, do not be afraid to speak up or seek help from an adult or trusted peer. Also, panic or anxiety attacks do not at all make you a freak, I am here if you need to ever talk about something*

You once again quietly meandered the halls, taking the longer route back to your dormitory. The air was crisp and fresh as it was hinted with the scent of clipped grass and flowers of a springtime meadow as you entered the stony exterior hallway, however, this was not the reason as to why you chose to take such an elaborate route. This choice was more for your own safety as opposed to enjoying simple leisure or taking a stroll throughout the outdoor courtyards. You felt safe, content, and secure in your surroundings. With your books pressed tightly into your chest and a quill tucked to where it peeped slightly out of your bag, you continued walking, escaping to your own thoughts. However, your imaginary world in your head was shattered with the thundering footsteps that were now rapidly trailing behind you. Your heartrate increased, and your self-esteem plummeted for the third time that day.

“Oi Y/n, thought you could slip past us? Well nice attempt there. You’d think for a Ravenclaw you’d be less of an idiot but then again, when have you ever proven that you actually own a brain?” spat Victoria, the sixth year girl that had been choosing you as her target for the past few months. Unfortunately, she was not alone, as her small posse consisted of Ernest the hulking Slytherin notorious for sabotaging other people’s projects and Corra the not-so-sweet Ravenclaw whom you had the pleasure of seeing every day in your very own common room, along with Victoria herself.

Victoria and her group often liked to tease you or harass you in the hallways, and you had many scars, both physical and emotional, to show for it. Every time it happened, it was when you least expected it. Your emotions were toyed with and abused, rattled and bruised. Words came out like a dragons fire, as her insults were harsh and enough to burn and violate you to your core. Each was a horrid blade dripping with her seething rage, and each brought decay to your self-esteem and composure.

You were distracted by Victoria’s ghostly white sneer and piercing eyes scanning your soul, and you didn’t notice Ernest swooping in behind you to restrain your arms, causing your books to scatter. You felt like bird strangled in a net with nowhere to go but to accept your deathly fate. Your arms were pinned, your heart was bursting with fear, and your eyes threatened to release a flow of tears. Your breathing shifted, becoming more hesitant and irregular as if you were choking on air as the walls closed around behind you. This feeling of increased fear was all too familiar to you. Everything from the state of sudden discomfort of panic to the loss of breath and grasp of air was a hellish experience that you have often had to endure countless times.

Shaking, you tried to stand as your knees were close to buckling. Words were lost and scattered in your brain while Corra laughed manically with Victoria.

“Aw, scared little girl? It must me a touch, tragic world out there for a freak of nature,” mocked Corra as her tone was laced with toxic attitude. You looked for an escape to anywhere but your current situation. You wanted to kick and scream, but your brain wasn’t cooperating with your desired actions.

“S-S-Stop,” you tried to desperately whisper out, but this only tightened the grip on your arms, giving Ernest a sense of delight at your torture.

“Y/n, Y/n, Y/n. It’s foolish of you to even bother. No one likes you here, you should honestly give up. No one would, miss you if you never showed your face here again. Everybody hates you. We do, your so-called “friends” do. But then again, why would anyone want to waste their time with you? You’re nothing but a filthy and pathetic excuse for a person anyways,” Victoria spoke with her toxic tongue, only pausing to drag her manicured nails across your face, creating faint scratches reddened with irritation and blood to arise. You whimpered slightly, though it sounded more like a worried yelp instead.

Ernest kicked you from behind while still clutching you, however this action caused you to sink to the floor in pain, as the impact from his bulky and forceful strength sucked whatever strength you had left. Victoria and Corra swarmed around you, like rabid dogs preparing to devour their kill. Their shadows drowned you, and your breathing hitched as you felt a wave of heated sweat start to form in a layer across your skin. By now their insults became blurred in your mind, as your thumping heart rang in your ears whilst heaving your chest erratically. Though surrounded, you felt alone. You wanted to run and to scream and to disappear but you couldn’t. You couldn’t breathe properly as each time you tried, you only found yourself trapped more in an endless cycle of suffocation.

“Well this has been fun, but I am famished, we’ll continue this little session later. Don’t you forget this Y/n, you filthy, worthless, horrendous tramp. I’m ashamed to be in a house with someone as disappointing as you. Enjoy the dirty floor, it’s where you belong anyways,” Victoria angrily seethed, however, most of her speech was only registered as a few words, as your mind was still clogged with negative thoughts, swirling around in your head like a storm in the middle of the ocean on high tide. Victoria gave a slight nod and Ernest released you, snickering and cackling off with the two female devils.

You dragged your convulsing body towards the wall, struggling to even make the slight trip of movement. Trembling, you brought your hand to your chest as if trying to contain the empty black hole that was swelling in your heart. Words like this were spoken frequently, and you would have thought that you would have been used to it by now. The world melted and swirled around as you began to become detached from it. Your mind screamed and plagued you with panic as your throat tightened and your skin became clammy again. Down the rabbit hole you fell, but into a deep, darkened hole that didn’t allow you to escape the perils of your mind.

“Y/n?” spoke a muffled and distant voice. Tears spiked at your eyes like silver daggers while this ghostly voice floated towards you.

“Y/n? Why…on…floor…doing…Y/n?” you tried to make out, but your head was wallowing too far into the murky depths of despair to the point of being unable to understand what was going on. You couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, and couldn’t take it anymore. Your lungs and chest constricted as your body rattled with quakes and sobs, and a dark shadow casted over your form.

You tore your eyes from being frozen on the ground to be met with piercing eyes and constellations of freckles. You hadn’t noticed when Newt Scamander had walked into the hallway, but that didn’t mean you were going to push him away.

His eyes were wide with concern and a hint of fear, as he had just walked upon your broken state. The two of you had been with one another for years, and by now, Newt was very aware of incidents like this. When Victoria and her posse had tormented you by stealing your notebook and reading aloud from it in the great hall, Newt rushed to your side after and simply held your hand while whispering to you. You weren’t even friends at the time, which would be hard to believe since the two of you are incredibly close now, often seen in the library in deep conversation or holding one another under the trees by the lake, hands intertwined and his lips pressed into your hair. The beautiful person he had his heart stolen by now laid in a pool of tears like a broken porcelain doll in the rain.

However, he knew what was happening. While others viewed you as some sort of “mental nutcase” at times like this, he looked at you with gentle compassion and gentleness. You were like some of his beasts, sent into a state of tightened panic when frightened or under mass amounts of stress. He saw you now, slumped against the wall of the corridor hall, and he slowly crouched down to his knees.

“Y/n, darling, I need you to look at me okay. I need you to look at me and breathe with me. I’m right here, and I’m not leaving. Breathe with me love, I know you can do it. Ready darling, in and out, in and out, in and out.” He spoke with a hushed voice while his hands found yours and clasped them soothingly. His thumbs ran over your knuckles, gently massaging reassurance through them. He wanted you to feel safe. He needed you to feel safe.

“N-Newt I-I-I can’t do i-it…” you tried to say, but you were silenced once again by shaking and unsteady breaths. You ran your hands throughout your locks of hair rapidly.

“Darling, it’s okay. Remember love, in and out, with me darling.”

His tone was nowhere near angry or frustrated, but was instead saturated with love and care. Your breathing slowed slightly as you began to follow his rhythm.

In and out, in and out. One, two three, and in and out.

Newt kept his gaze on you as your breathing and posture slowly returned back to its usual state. Your panic faded away for now, and Newt cautiously looked over you to make sure that you were comfortable. By now he had you cradled in his arms, and neither of you cared that you were both out in the open hallway.

“I-I’m sorry I couldn’t come in time to p-protect you from Victoria, darling. I’m so sorry, and now you’re hurt,” he murmured as tears tried to form once again in his eyes.

“Newt, it’s not your fault, I’ll talk to one of the professors again to get them to stop, but I don’t know what would have happened if you didn’t come when you did. Thank you,” you whispered back, being entirely honest. He pressed a sweet kiss to your cheek while slipping in a small, ‘I love you’

He helped you and loved you when you needed it. He didn’t yell at you or try and fix you for being destroyed. Newt cared about you and would do anything and everything to make sure that you were anything but uncomfortable.

You reached up and kissed him once more, thanking the lovely boy for being so gentle and caring, and for viewing you as the person you are, and not as someone different. He loved and respected you for who you were, and he would always be there to hold and help you when you needed it most.


anonymous asked:

Yo I'm writing a story that contains a Native American character and I'm not really sure if I should have her live off of or on a reserve. Bcus one of my intentions is that she goes to school where she meets the other characters (who aren't native). And if I have her live on a reserve I feel like I won't portray the experience well since I've heard they're mostly hellish. Ahhh I'm at a crossroads

I’d suggest you learn everything you can about reservations and about Native American cultures. First off, decide which tribe your character is from and who they are and do not rely on vague stories, stereotypes, or incomplete narratives to form their past. Do your research. Ask people who have lived on reservations, read books, look into reservations in your state, and gather as much knowledge as you possibly can. Even if you decide not to put your character in a reservation, the more you know, the more authentic your character will become. 

If a reservation is important to the character’s life whom you are trying to tell and would be part of her authentic experience, do not skip it simply because you are scared of messing it up. Do the work. Put in the time. Take this research seriously. If it’s not, then maybe don’t include it, but this will all depend on the character and the story you are trying to tell. Make sure to also ask yourself why you want to include this character: if it’s just to check off a diversity box and claim representation, this may not be the best idea for you or your story or your readers. But if it’s to tell the character truly and because they belong in this story, then write them and do them justice. 

Here are some other resources that may help. 

And if you go through with it and are still unsure of your portrayal, it may help to enlist a sensitivity reader

UGANDA. Near Gulu. September 23, 2016. At the Pagarinya refugee camp in Adjumani District, Jeffrey Michael, a severely disabled boy crawls in the dirt near his tent. 

For the mentally handicapped living in the refugee camp is a constant struggle to get proper medication, and wheelchair access. The outbreak of violence in the capital Juba last July created a humanitarian crisis in northern Uganda as thousands of South Sudanese sought refugee there. The country is hosting the lion’s share of South Sudanese refugees, with 373,626, more than a third of them arriving since early July. The fighting was a major setback to peace efforts in South Sudan, coming as the troubled new nation prepared to celebrate its fifth anniversary, amid a short lived peace deal between supporters of President Salva Kiir and former First Vice President Riek Machar.

South Sudan now joins Syria, Afghanistan and Somalia as countries which have produced more than a million refugees. While some South Sudanese may attempt to head for Europe, the numbers within east Africa are comparable in scale to recent refugee flows to Europe from the Middle East, and their traumatic experiences due to war are often just as hellish. More than 85 percent of the refugees in this recent influx are women and children. Many children have lost one or both of their parents, some forced to become primary caregivers to siblings. With the large influx of refugees in July 2015, relief agencies had to implement stringent food rationing in the refugee settlements. Currently the international humanitarian organisations lack the necessary funds to meet the needs of the more than 200,000 refugees. 

Photograph: Paula Bronstein

reasons why eleven from stranger things is a trans girl:

  • everyone mistakes her for a boy. “you think you can steal from me, boy?” “she didn’t even look like a girl” etc.
  • the emphasis on her being a girl. if you made a drinking game out of how many times someone refers to eleven as “that girl” or “some girl” or w/e, you’d be under the table by episode 2 
  • her looking at pictures of nancy and saying “pretty.” the way she says it and in context, she’s not just complimenting her. either eleven is gay af (which i’m not ruling out) or she’s jealous, or maybe wistful is a better word. she sees something she wants to be but doesn’t perceive herself as. 
  • a similar incident: when she looks in the mirror after being conventional-girl-ified and just that look on her face. she’s finally seeing herself as she wants to look and be. then there’s the nice moment when she learns to find herself pretty without that classic girl look, which i think goes even further into the trans narrative, esp in a time before hormones n such were readily accessible, bc she’s learning to love the body she’s got
  • her hair, dear god, her hair. it’s a point of struggle for her, and it’s what makes everyone see her as a boy. i’ve said it before, but hair can be v important to trans people bc to the majority of society, it’s a visual identifier of gender. she holds onto that wig for a v long time bc it marks her as a girl. again, she learns to like herself without it, but we can’t forget her original feelings
  • and i know what you’re gonna say: “but what about brenner?? he’s a terrible person so wouldn’t he be transphobic as hell and refer to eleven as a boy?” well you see. it was important to him that she comply and be a willing participant in his hellish experiments, and there’s no more sure fire way to get trans people to do the exact opposite of that than to refer to them as their birth gender. he probably figured it would make things easier if he gave her what she wanted. BAM. 

ok that’s all i got for now but feel free to add any examples i missed!!



“Alright everyone, hands on the planchette.” You said. Chris placed his fingertips on it, clearing his throat, “Dear Satan-”

“Chris!” You scolded. “Oh, I apologize, Sir Lucifer-”

“Dude… This is serious.” Sebastian said with a chuckle. “Speaking of serious where’s the holy water and bible verses in case this really does get serious?” Chris asked, earning a laugh from you. “I got it, any bad or negative energies around, we do not wish to contact you, only good energies.” You said.

“… That’s it? No amen or anything?” Chris asked. Sebastian chuckled as he placed his fingertips on the plastic triangle. “Are there any spirits around?” You asked. Everything was silent, before you felt the planchette moving across the board. Your eyes widened, watching it move to yes.

“Who is it?” Sebastian asked, interested. The planchette moved to it’s desired letters, “D.” He began to spell out. “E.” You began spelling along with him. “E,Z,N,U,T,S.”

“DEEZ NUTS, HA! GOT EEM.” Chris yelled, flipping the board. You jumped at the sudden sound, Sebastian wrapped his arms around you, holding back a chuckle. “Fuck you! That’s not funny!” You exclaimed, not able to hold the smile growing on your face.

Your laughs were cut short by a bang that came from the back room. “… The hell?” Sebastian asked, standing up. You and Chris followed, you squinted in the darkness, grabbing Sebastian’s hand tightly.

“Chris I swear if this is one of your stupid pranks.” You whispered to him. “It’s not.” He said in a tone that made you believe him. As you peaked around the corner into the bedroom that you and Sebastian shared, you noticed the closet door was open.

“I didn’t leave it open.” Sebastian said before you could even ask. Your fingers found the light switch, flicking it on in a matter of seconds. You made your way over to the closet shutting the door immediately, “Back to the board.” You commanded, making Chris chuckle.

As you all made your way down the hall, Chris turned to Sebastian, “That little statue or doll thing you’ve got in your office made that experience a whole lot more hellish.” He said.

You furrowed your brows, “What?” You asked, stopping in your tracks. Chris raised an eyebrow, “The statue.. In your office?” He asked. You throat tightened, turning to Sebastian. “We don’t have a statue in our office.”

Marisol Coxi

It was a real hellish experience buying this doll. I got her from an ebay seller who shipped her missing a hand. She was supposed to mail me the hand, instead she mailed me a bunch of random spare arms she had and an extra stand, but forgot to include Marisol’s hand. Then she ghosted me. About 2 weeks later the hand came in the mail after I threatened negative feedback. This kind of stuff can make you resent a doll! She is also missing a shoe. It’s a bummer because it’s not like she can share shoes. And it’s the same case with her hand, it’s not like a Lala hand, that are a dime a dozen.

Anyway I am happy I have her and I am hunting for her shoe at a decent price.
She is really cool because of her large size and giant hands and feet. She has molded hair on her ankles, wrists and hands too that I really like. Her body is grayish purple. As you can see in some comparison pictures with Kitty her feet are huge!

Her hair is pink on top, a dark pink/purple below that and has green streaks on the sides. She has no part in her hair, so there are only certain hair styles that would suit her. I’m thinking of making a half pony with those green streaks. I think her face mold is very cute and has a calm expression. Her lips are dark pink. Her eyes and eyebrows are purple. I like that she has large eyebrows and the extra little hairs towards the middle. Her eye shadow is pink, she has green eyeliner to match her hair. She can take earrings but mine is lacking those also.

I’m not too keen on her clothes. They just look like a mishmash. She has an orange sweater with a big foot print. Her dress has a pink tube top attached to a ruffled skirt. The skirt is plain green on the bottom and a black floral print on top. I like that the flowers on her skirt have little evil faces on them! Her shoes are pink with green tassels. something cute about the shoes is they have a foot print on the bottom similar to the one on her sweater. She comes with a green coffin shaped purse and a green top hat. The top hat could have been great but it’s really plain unfortunately. One thing I love about her is her squishy head; not a hint of glue head in this girl!  I love the Monster Exchange and Brand Boo Students lines. I’m kind of a “one of every character” collector so new ghouls are awesome to me. 

anonymous asked:

Top Three UA teachers?

Oh, this was really hard and there are so many teachers I love who didn’t make the top three.

Nedzu, the principal, is actually one of my all-time favourite BNHA characters because he’s just so interesting in terms of design and a very mysterious character. There’s so much you have to wonder about him - I’ve always figured that animals displaying Quirks is incredibly rare in universe and headcanoned that his manifesting a Quirk led to him being targeted for hellish experiments by greedy humans that left him with his commented on hatred for humans. But even so, if he hates humans so much, why start a school for aspiring, mostly human, heroes? Why surround himself with mostly human teachers, who he at least seems to respect? He’s just very interesting, at least to me.

I love Aizawa. Though he’s a strict teacher and he doesn’t hold back, he genuinely cares so much for his students and he tries his best to teach them and help them advance.

I hate the fact I’m leaving All Might out of this but honestly, Blood King deserves so much more screen-time. Class 1-B deserves so much more screen-time. I’d be perfectly okay with several chapters dedicated to a special ‘day in the life of’ situation with Class 1-B because I want to see more how they interact as a Class. Blood King seems like he has his hands full but he also seems so proud of his class and like he dotes so much on his students.

Happy national coming of day :) love who you are, Vader loves you too. And to those still struggling with their identity, whether it be gender or sexuality, know that I am always here and happy to listen. I may only be in my mid-20s, but i had hellish experiences with my coming out in the past, so I’d be glad to listen, share, etc.

The focus of the mental and nervous ailments afflicting me is a condition labelled ‘depersonalisation.’ I feel as if I am in a place where pleated, striped curtains completely enclose me, and finally my soul separates from my body. Once that happens, I can take hold of a flower in the garden, for example, without being able to feel it. Walking, it is as if I am in a cloud; I have no sense of my body as something real.

…'Depersonalisation’ refers to the phenomenon of experiencing a loss of personality. I am told that when reality is too agonising, human biology has ways to turn it off, and this innate defense system is what triggers the condition. But the horrible suffering of depersonalisation is much greater than the pain of any reality: a hellish reality is still better than the experience of losing yourself, the world, and time. It is terrible seeing existence annihilated. At least in reality you get a solid sense of the self that is suffering.

—  Yayoi Kusama in her autobiography Infinity Net

anonymous asked:

Is there anyway you can get MT a break from these hellish things she experiences like at least for a while she doesnt need to suffer every day ;-;

“I’m not sure how I could help someone with an issue as big as hers. But….But that does not mean I can’t help her reach her goal. The spells she wants to try could be potentially life threatening, but if I were to step in as a test subject. Ah, that could happen is I turn into dust. Knowing the extreme power of the elixir of life, I’ll just magically come back….Brilliant! Thank you, anon…I’m going to try this out!” 

Time Of The Month- Remus Lupin

Originally posted by stagdogwolfandrat

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Reader

Characters: Remus Lupin, James Potter , Sirius Black

Warnings: Discussion of Periods (Does that need a warning?)

Request: N/A

Word Count: 419

Author: Charlotte

Keep reading