this video just makes me cry

anonymous asked:

i'm super stressed out and i started crying watching your speedpaint video it's so calming and soft? sorry if this is weird, i just wanted to say that your art is really, really good

oh dude, I hope it helped you calm down ^^’
sometimes even crying just helps with too much stress actually, so let it all out, buddy!

and thank you! It really makes me happy to see you like my art <3

Getting salt from gamer boys in my inbox.

Listen up turd turrets, I WANTED to just play video games, I WANTED to just have fun, I NEVER wanted my gaming to be political or a struggle, I just wanted to play.

But you wouldn’t fucking let me, you brought up my gender, you judged me based on it, YOU made it political.

So now I WILL wreck everything with my fucking feminism, I am the feminist nightmare you fucking created.

Witness me.

i say “i’m seeing a therapist” and he takes a step backwards. why he wants to know. what happened. what made me like this, basically. what was the final step that pushed me safely into the side of scary people like them.

there’s a lot i think about. like how my illnesses effect me outside of the actual symptoms. like beyond the weight there’s a second river to drown in.

i mean we don’t talk about having to stare at employment papers where they ask you to self-identify your problems. that little bead of sweat that forms when you worry - what if i don’t tell them and i need help? what if i tell them and they think i’m a risk factor? what if they won’t give me the job?

we don’t talk about the way some people act when they find out. the ones who are rude about it are one thing. but then there’s those people you thought were your friends who act like you just told them you’re infectious. who become weird and distant and suspicious like a switch flipped. like if they get to close to you, you’ll give it to them.

we learn to be okay with things we overhear on the bus but we never get used to it coming out of the mouth of the people we love. we carry this secret with us like a rotted fruit, clutching it to our bodies. we’re ashamed of our scars in front of our boss. we don’t talk about our panic attacks during lunch breaks. when the cop pulls you over “i’m disassociating” isn’t an excuse we can open the page on. when you watch people make these ranting posts about how real friends always text back, how if someone loves you, they’ll find the time to spend. success stories make other people cry with inspiration while some part of your brain is saying you can’t do that, you’re not like them. things are uglier at the bottom. you can’t explain why you can’t just make friends. you can’t write because you’re depressed but when you’re depressed you write best. you can’t eat today and no don’t ask why please. nevermind taking the train. never mind trying to be happy. never mind reading books and watching movies and wondering where exactly are people like you in hero stories. i watch a video where a man tells me that being depressed is just a mindset. when i wear all black someone remarks i look particularly emo today. it’s 2017 does anyone say emo anymore, i ask her, and she laughs, “you just look like one of those fake-depressed girls.” okay.  

i don’t tell him my therapist is actually why things don’t happen anymore. why i’m getting a handle on it. my tongue feels swollen. i feel embarrassed talking about it. in the highest twist of irony, i think of how many people know my problems anonymously on the internet. i almost spill out all my troubles onto him. instead i tell him it’s just a precaution. that i think everyone should really see a therapist, they’re brain mechanics and we all need a tune-up now and then. he relaxes.

okay. okay. i’m sorry i’m one of them.

2

when I started drawing I intend to have angst in it cuz If i have to watch this heartbreaking music video then so do you but here take my Ohmtoonz trash

2

ugh in the span of like 3 weeks I’ve progressed from listening to the full Hamilton soundtrack for the first time –> listening to the Hamilton soundtrack on repeat for 2 weeks straight and occasionally tearing up –> watching every video I can find on youtube of Leslie Odom Jr. singing and just full blown crying for a couple hours –> let’s just commit to the hamilton youtube rabbit hole and watch every clip I can find of the cast, doing literally anything

Daveed Diggs’s Tony acceptance speech is the latest thing to make me cry so I wanted to use him for some lineless digital painting practice

it looks way better zoomed in than as a whole, which is, like… literally the exact opposite…. of what you want…………………..

(◞‸◟;)

FIRST LIVESHOW IN NEW APARTMENT 4.27.17

MAIN POINTS

• NEW WEIRD APARTMENT

• less stairs

• no dog :(( BUT MIGHT GET A FISH

• dan’s pink shirt

• phil’s pants falling down

• semitransparent/glass wall which is where dan will film, new aesthetic background (with bonsai plant!!)

• dan suggesting pastel outfits for easter baking

• phil with hood up

• DAN HAS CHANGED HIS WHOLE BEDROOM

• no real apartment tour :((

• same gaming channel/nerd den, but bigger and “less ugo”

• dan’s videos are gonna be filmed behind the glass wall

• dnp together awake on a plane for 14 hours

• rude airplane neighbour

• movies watched were; lion (phil cried), mythical beasts, hacksaw ridge (dan was shaking and cried 50% of it), nerve, & snowden

• phil scared by timmy the elephant

• dan having to see everything at the zoo

• bedroom, phil still filming in his bedroom

• DAN HAS A WHITE PIANO

• phil still trying to get revenge on dan by taking photos of him

• phil getting better at photography according to dan

• dan cried at a singapore light show

• phil possibly curling hair in a future video

• phil leaving dan for a bit in florida :((

• 1D poster gone

• dnp listened to harry styles’ new song

• favourite rooms are gaming room & their bedrooms

• dan uploading video on monday and liveshow on tuesday

• dan blow drying his hair

• dnp both not liking the feeling of nail polish

• dan painting his nails for the aesthetic

• caring about how we feel about them moving



QUOTES THAT’LL MAKE YOU CRY

phil: “can we get a fish?“ dan: “up to you mate.”

dan: “my new bedroom is moon themed. a floating white bed.”

phil: “its fashionable and snazzy.” dan: “being white?”

phil: “gaming lighting will be dank.”

dan to phil: “your ora is just radiating.”

• both: “we’ll get a dog when a house is bought.”

phil on bedrooms: “yours is very aesthetic mine is super cozy and quiet ”

dan: “i want to make the danisnotonfire videos more pretty ”

dan: “this year is for getting our lives back on track”

dan: “the ripped jeans, that was fun.”

dan: “someone gave me some glittery nail polish so i was like, ok ill do this. its a bit like a holiday so im like whatever”

phil: “this isnt a forever home we just wanted to get out”

phil on dan’s hair: “soft i think it suits him i think its a good look embrace the curls”

dan asking phil: "phil, why wont you paint your nails?“

dan: "prepare inspiration for me… make it more attractive.”

dan: “im quite excited to have a bedroom thats more reflective.”

dan on moving: “its a slow boxy process but we’ll get there.”



 both: “we hope we’ve been two virtual buddies for you." ♡

i really just kinda miss tøp

sister-whaleton  asked:

I watched your pride video last night, and let me tell you, at first I was just watching a bunch of cool people hanging out and answering questions, but then... that outtro. You have no idea how much I needed to hear that. Heck, I didn't even know how much I needed to hear it until I heard it. You made me cry in the best way! Happy Pride Month!

It’s incredibly true though. I say it allllll the flippin time, but hearing my friends talk about how much you guys support them, and make their days, it filled me with so much love and gratitude to you all. I am just so proud of the people you are and the actions you choose to make in this world.

I Broke Down Tonight

So tonight something very strange happened. Something that has never happened to me before. I had a panic attack. My day was going normally and I was at work. 10 minutes before my shift, I started to feel a little bit weird. I was uncomfortable. I felt disconnected from the world around me. My hands started shaking and I started shivering and twitching. I clocked out at work and quickly went downstairs and just sat there, thinking about a ton of things all at once. Next thing I knew, I was outside on the sidewalk with two of my co workers beside me trying to calm me down. I was curled up in a ball, breathing heavily with tears running down my face. At first, I couldn’t pin point why this was happening. But then it hit me. Lately, I had been thinking a lot about some people from the start of my channel. People that used to support every video I did and would always interact with me. Flashes of these people flew into my memory. These people were people who I talked to on a regular basis and people I was getting to know fairly well. One of them in particular (who will go nameless) messaged me first because of my videos. She had said that she was very very depressed and cut herself on a regular basis, And at one point had contemplated suicide. At the time, I was making videos on a very regular basis. She said that my videos brought her so much joy and put a smile on her face. My videos were the reason that she had stopped cutting. Months went by and my videos got more and more infrequent. And then I never heard from that girl again. Then, a few months after, I found out that the amazing, strong, and wonderful girl who had sent me those messages months before, had ended her own life. This hit me harder than ever tonight. After conjuring up this memory of her in my mind, I just couldn’t pull myself together. I was crying as my dad held me in his arms asking me what was wrong. And for the first time, I was completely honest with him. I told him that I don’t want to go to college. I told him how much I absolutely adore YouTube, and I told him how incredibly terrified I am of not reaching my dreams as a yputuber. At first, he didn’t understand. He thought my dream was to get famous and be able to make a lot of money. But then I explained my real dream to him. My dream as a YouTuber is to make as many people as I can happy. I want to be there for you all every single day and bring a smile to your faces. I want to make you laugh when you feel like crying. I want to make you smile when you feel like breaking down. I want to make you happy even when you are at your lowest. The thought of that amazing girl ending her own life crushed me. I almost felt responsible for her death. I wish that I had done more. I wish that I had talked to her more. I wish that I could have made more videos for when she felt down. I don’t just want to entertain people. I want to give them hope. I want to make people smile and I want to show people that they truly matter. I don’t do YouTube because I want to get famous. I do YouTube because I want to make people’s lives better. I do it because I want to inspire people and make them feel happy on their saddest days. I do YouTube because I don’t want anyone to feel alone. I want to be there for you guys. I want to be the person you can look to when you are at your lowest and I want to help you in your time of need. I cannot even begin to examine how absolutely in love with YouTube I am. I love it more than anything. I can’t live without it and for this next year, I am going to try as hard as I can to make my dreams come true and I will not stop until it does. You all mean the world to me. I wouldn’t be the happy person I am today without you. Thank you all so much for all of your amazing support. Your comments and tweets and edits and fanarts and everything you do makes me so happy. I love you guys so much. Thank you. Let’s make this year amazing and let’s grow this community into something incredible. A community where everyone respects each other and helps each other out. A community where everyone is close and friendly. A community where no one will ever feel alone. I know we can do this. I love you all so much.

You Will Never Not Matter

ciuucalata’s klance fic rec list

part 1

Right To The Core by BleuSarcelle

(The one that it’s based on a short cute angsty video from tumblr and I couldn’t help myself to make my space gay suffer.)

listen here. this fic! this fic!!! it destroyed me but i love it so damn much. the angst is amazing and… god i am crying just thinking about it now. please read it and i promise you won’t regret it.

Dancing With Bluenette by BleuSarcelle

(The one where Keith wants to propose to his boyfriend and almost has a heart attack.) (Then the other one where Lance proposes back and Keith cries.) (The following one where they both cry because wedding make you cry.) (And that last one where they adopt.)

if you’ve read that angsty af fic and you need something to heal your heart and soul please read this because it’s so damn fluffy and domestic it’ll make you tear up. and when you finish this please read the whole series bc it’s so fluufy and good!!!!

Kiss by coralreefskim

“Keith,” Lance slurred, so it sounded more like he was saying Keef instead.

“What,” Keith said flatly, not really asking, as he jogged over to Red, eyes glowing yellow into life.

“You have stars in your eyes.”

Keith choked. “What?”

“Why do you have stars in your eyes?” Lance murmured.

ft low key mutual pining and bad pick up lines

i loove the way the author wrote keith and all the other characters. it felt so in character to me and the dialogue is soo good!! the fic is really cute and it made me smile so much

Please Don’t Go by Lxie

“Please don’t go.”

“Sorry, Lance." 

okay i know this is angst too but i promise you it’s really good. i loved the writing so much! like the biginning hit me hard and i fell in love with it instantly. and there’s also a second part!!! and lxie promised me a happy ending so there’s also that

Hello Meithman by archaicsextoy

Red escapes from Keith’s apartment only for his super unfairly attractive neighbor to bring her back. 

this was so cute!!! keith worrying about his cat was adorable and there were parts that made me laugh out loud tbh. this fic made me smile so much and i just love it!!

high tide, incoming by kojondo

It starts like this:

They’re sitting across from each other at a table in the local burger joint, tossing casual banter and the occasional insult back and forth. It’s familiar and comfortable, reminiscent of every other conversation they’ve ever had, until out of nowhere Lance leans forward and says with a mouth full of fries, “Let’s date.”

okaty okay okay the beginning of this fic is really really good. and pining keith is always a good thing. and the ending was just so damn soft. and the comparisons to the ocean were so well done. I LOVE COMPARISONS

Butterfly Kisses? by waffle_walks

"Butterfly kisses?" 

this is so damn soft and fluffy. *soflty* what the heckie? it had me squeeling so much and smiling so hard. please please read it. i promise you you’ll be smiling so hard your cheeks will hurt

You’ve Been Added To Space Nerds by bespectacledoikawa

Space Daddy™: Children,
Space Daddy™: please.

( or that one fic where voltron meme squad is formed by various college kids all over japan and keith is slowly falling head over heels in love with the kid with freckles on his face and stars in his eyes )

listen here. this fic is everything, it’s one of the firsts group chat fics that i ever read and i absolutely fell in love with it. i loved the ending and the pining was soo good. but mostly the interactions between everyone were the best. and coran is also present here which is always a bonus

Barbie Girl by shipstiel

Soulmate AU—Everyone hears the occasional stray thought from their soulmate—more of a glimpse into their mind than anything else. Unfortunately for him, Keith seems to have gotten the strangest, most irritating soulmate ever and seriously who the hell sings Barbie Girl at three in the morning, what are you twelve? Get some fucking sleep. 

soulmates aus are always the best thing ever no mater what. and this one is too. it was so funny and i loved it so much!! the ending was the best. and there’s also a second part from lance’s pov so make sure to read that too

Must Have Done Something Right by DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee

“So that was…”
“If you say painless I’m shoving you into another snowdrift.”
“Okay, that’s fair.  But you got a lollipop!”  
“That you stole from pediatrics.”  
“I’m a very good date.”

Lance accidentally crashes into his new neighbor in front of their mailboxes and somehow ends the night with a very attractive (and slightly concussed) date.

this is the first part of True Love or Something and i just started reading it but i am in love with it. cneiurnhcr wish i could talk more about this but i am only at the seventh part but i promise you this is an amazing series and you should read it

Keep reading

my thoughts on dodie’s ep “you” after listening to it a couple of times

in the middle: damn starting the ep with a fucking bop. this makes me want to dance around and sing it as loud as possible. i looove the lyric “you have so much in common, talk about your taste in women” it’s soo good. go you dodie for singing about something like that.

6/10: okay when this started playing, i started crying. it’s such a beautiful song and it sounds so incredible with the strings. i love that she got viewers to sing with her in it, it just fits the song so well (and definitely doesn’t make me cry harder)

instrumental:  wow this is beautiful. this is the perfect interlude for the ep (although it will never be able to beat i have a hole in my tooth (and my dentist is shut))

you:  ahhh i love this so much. it definitely deserves to be the song that named the ep. i totally get why they filmed the music video in paris. when you listen to it you can just imagine it as part of the soundtrack for a romance set in paris. i love it sooo much.

secret for the mad: this was the one i was slightly anxious to hear. this song is one of my all time favourite dodie songs. i love the simplicity of it, it doesn’t need anything other than her voice and that one note on the piano. i still haven’t quite made up my mind about it, but i do think it’s a great song.

would you be so kind: this makes me so happy when i listen to it. the video of her and the rest of the tour gang playing it together is one of my favourite videos of hers. it sounds so optimistic and excited and it’s just such a cute song. perfect ending to the ep.

in conclusion, the ep is great and i’ll be listening to it over and over and over again.

Lazy Afternoon is probably in my top three of my favorite video game soundtracks. Purely because it captures that nostalgia feeling perfectly. And it has sounds that feel so familiar from something you’ve seen or heard and it’s on the tip or your tongue but not quite there. I know that’s the point of Twilight Town but just wow, the music really makes it real.

Oh hey @taylorswift! 💛
I’m Christian, I have 13 years 🌟
(yes, you’re lucky number) 😏
I just want to tell you that it makes me incredible happy that you’re back in tumblr! 😇 I made my account in the correct time! 😉 This is my 1st selfie that I post here on tumblr, holding my favorite Christmas presents that my parents gave me this year! 🎄 I WAS CRYING WHEN I OPEN THE GIFT, IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER! 😊😭 I already watched all the videos of the album, and it makes me so so so SO proud because you have gone so far, making your dreams more bigger than you did when you were 13! 🌞 Thank you, thank you for always make me feel special, loved and important! 😚 I love you so much, never forget that my love! ☺ With love Christian! 🇲🇽💚

EXO Reaction To You Crying From Missing Them

You scroll through the twitter post as many fans praise EXO on their overseas concert, photos and small video clips fill your feed as you’re caught between smiling and crying at them. You look at the clock 1:00am. Right on time you hear your phone ring, you try and steady your feeling as you pick up.

“Y/N!” the scream into the phone. You try swallowing back a cry and say a weak rough “Hey” back -

XUIMIN

“Are you okay”
“Yeah, I’m just a little sad” you admit, knowing you can’t hide anything from him
“Did something happen?”
“You left” you say feeling a tear escape down your cheek. He smiles at your cute response and tries to remain strong for the both of you
“I miss you too” he says “I’ll be back before you know it and after that you’re going to wish I was away for tour”

Originally posted by kamikoy

SUHO

"Everything’s alright. We just got to the hotel room” He sits on his bed and starts kicking off his shoes “I miss you”
That was enough to break your wall and you start crying and catching your breath. Throughout the whole thing, Suho remains silent, just listening to you cry and waiting for you to calm down
“Im sorry” you manage to get out
“Why are you apologizing?” he says “My baby is crying all alone, I should be saying sorry”
“But you’re busy, and the fans -”
“Yeah, I know” he sighs “How about I buy you a plane ticket”
“No - why are you spending money on-”
“Im not speeding it for you! Im spending it on myself, I want my baby right next to me next time I’m on backstage getting ready.”

Originally posted by irpsychotic

LAY

“Did you catch a cold? You know I hear oranges really help - next time we go out -” you can’t help but break down into tears right there and then. It wasnt just the sound of his voice, but everything about him.
“Hey” he comforts “did i say something wrong? are you allergic to oranges?” he tries to tease. A small laugh escapes you lips as you blink back tears.
“Why’re you crying, y/n?”
“I miss you”
“I miss you” he says back “Baby, I promise we’ll be back to our mid-day cuddles and nap in no time”

Originally posted by glorious-soobooty

BAEKHYUN

“I woke you up again, right?” he says “Next week is a more doable time zone - so don’t worry”
“Baek -” you manage to say out but it gets caught in your throat as the tears start to flow
“Oh..no,no stop crying” he mini panics “Y/n, I’m sorry i disrupted your beauty sleep - I’m a monster”
“Yah!” you say between the tears “I miss you”
“Oh” he sighs in relief “I thought you were angry crying”
Your eyebrow raises already feeling the tears dry up “Yah, when have I -”
“You miss me, remember, You can’t be mad at me when I’m away, right?” he says trying to save himself, “I miss you more though.”

Originally posted by sefuns

CHEN

“Aigo, were we sleeping instead of waiting for your boyfriends call?” he teases. He puts the phone on speaker on the way back to the hotel, so the others can say hi.
“Y/n!” Chanyeol yelled
“Is she on the phone?” Baekhyun asks
“Ask her to send her ramen recipe” D.O whines “I’m hungry”
“Y/n?” Chen hears you sniffle a couple of times
“Nice going, guys - you made y/n cry” He takes you off of speaker, “Are you alright? I didn’t know you were that sensitive to giving away your ramen recipe.” He lets you steady your breathing “Do you miss me that much? I shouldn’t be making you cry”
“I’m just being hormonal or something”
“I’ll video call you as soon as i get the wifi password of the hotel”

Originally posted by dayafterdae

CHANYEOL

He called you straight after the concert as the others were changing into their normal clothing
“How was the concert, tell me all about it” you say trying to sound cheerful
“Hang on a bit, I have to change” he quickly leaves his phone and changes, almost running back to the phone to pick it up and find you crying.
“Did you not want me to know you were crying?” he says into the phone “Don’t hide from me like that, love”
“It’s just silly, I don’t want to make you feel sad or guilty for doing your job” you admit
“You wont” he half smiles at your selfishness, but feels a mixture of anger and sadness at your urge to hide your feelings, “Tell me these things, alright? I’ll stay on the line until you fall asleep”

Originally posted by porkdo-bi

D.O

“What’s wrong?” he said immediately afte hearing your voice. He lets you get a chance to cool down, you give a loud sigh letting out a shaky breath
“I know it’s dumb to cry” you begin saying, “but I miss you”
“I miss you too” he scoffs “Are you calling me dumb?”
“You don’t cry” You clarify slightly smiling at the idea
“Ah right” he states “My heart hurts when you’re not around”
“What script is that line from?”
“I’ll be back soon, don’t cry anymore. Lay down on your bed, I’ll sing tonight”

Originally posted by sooweetlies

KAI

“How’re the kids?” he asks refering to his dogs that he left to your care.
“They miss you” You say while trying to keep back a sob
“Well tell them” he says learning knowing you were referring to yourself “I miss them very much and I hope they understand how much I love them, so they shouldn’t be crying”
“I’ll tell them” you sniffle
“I’ll take them out to the park when i get back”
“I don’t like going out to the park” you whine
“I thought we were talking about my babies, y/n” he teases
“We are, baby” you insist smiling immediately when you hear his light laugh.
“God I miss you.”

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

SEHUN

“Stop that” he says immediately “Don’t cry, your nose will get all stuffy in the morning” He smiles into the phone, knowing fully well how you feel, “Plus if you start crying, then I’ll start crying and then you’ll be to blame.”
“Alright” you wipe your tears and try to breath away the sadness “I-”
“I know” he interrupts “Get up, wash your face, and answer my video call. It’s not enough for me to just hear your voice, so stop crying - unless you want to stare at each other as we cry.”

Originally posted by chanyoelpark


Masterlist

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Thank You

@crankgameplays it is currently 12:49 in the morning and i just really want to fucking say thank you. I came across your channel a little less then a year ago. When i cam across you i was really shy, never talked to anyone, scared to make new friends, and very very self conscious. Then one night at like 3 in the morning i said to my self, “I want to get into a new gamer on youtube” so i grabbed my laptop and went to youtube and searched Gamers. Your channel was the 5th one to show up. I clicked on it and watched your newest video at the time. The static speaks your name. I had no idea what this game was but i said fuck it and watched it. The game was so emotional i started to tear up. When you finished it, you gave a little speech like you always do in more serious videos. What you said moved me so much i started crying. I wasn’t in the best place when i discovered your channel. I was really depressed and just wasn’t happy with anything i did. Then i found you and fell in love with your videos. They always make me smile and laugh my ass off. Now today, i am really hyper and energetic and i’m always happy. Ethan, just thank you so much for everything you have done not only for me, but everyone in th community. Stay Cranky for as long as you can because that is what makes Ethan Nestor…well Ethan Nestor. You are so amazing Ethan please don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I love you so much, the community loves you so much. Keep up the amazing work on your videos. Stay Cranky! <3