,,Good Morning Josh.“ You mumble steel sleepy from just waking up. When you turn around you see that the other half of the bed is empty and furrow your eyebrows.
Where is josh?
You get up and put one of Josh’s oversized t-shirts on that’s laying on the ground and go to the bathroom.
Afterwards you walk down the stairs from your common house into the living room and find Josh sleeping on the couch.
The Tv is still running and you sigh, he probably slept on that couch the whole night.
,,Baby, wake up.” You sit right next to him and softly stroke his hair. He mumbles a simple ‘go away’ before he turns around.
It’s not the first time that Josh is grumpy in the morning, but the first time he didn’t come up upstairs to sleep in a bed with you.
You decide to give him some time to wake up since he just came home from tour and go to the kitchen to prepare some breakfast.
You lean against the kitchen counter and check your phone. Your twitter and Insta feed is full with tweets and pictures about Josh.
First you smile, but when you see what the Fans are writing your heart drops.
'Who else thinks Y/N is just waisting Josh’s time? He looks so exhausted from her’ or
'I hope Debby and Josh get back together, Josh’s relationship with Y/N is hopeless. I don’t even ship them.’
On Instagram are pictures with Josh and Debby. Fans offend you, call you dumb or bitchy and even more.
You blink fast to keep the tears from falling and let your phone slip out of your hand. You try not to sob too loud since Josh was still sleeping and hide your face in your hands.
The fans never accepted you, even after four years. You learned to ignore the tweets and hate messages, but this time you just couldn’t. What if Josh starts to believe in what the fans are saying and leaves you? You know he deserves better, at least you feel like it.
You never saw yourself as pretty as Debby or talented.
,,Y/N why are you crying?“ Josh asks. You jump at his voice and grab the edge from the kitchen counter.
,,I uh, just burned my arm on the Stove.” You lie.
,,The Stove isn’t even on.“ Josh sighs and walks closer to you but you hide your arm behind your back.
,,What’s really wrong?” He asks. He sounded a bit annoyed and you swallow hard.
,,I don’t want to talk about it.“ You mumble before turning around. You couldn’t face Josh.
,,Y/N talk to me.” This time his voice is more soft and he touches your shoulder but you shake it of. You love Josh, but you don’t want him to see you crying over his fan’s tweets.
,,Why are you like this?“ He asks slightly pissed and with a cold voice. His mood wasn’t the best, you could tell.
,,It’s nothing!” You Snap back. You want to grab your phone and leave but Josh is faster. Your phone screen lights up and he sees one of the tweets.
,,Y/N let me see it.“ He takes your phone out of your hands and scrolls threw your twitter feed.
,,You know that’s not true.” Is the only thing he says. You shake your head and let out a shaky breath.
,,But they’re right. You deserve someone better. You deserve someone who’s able to go on tour with you, someone the fans love, I mean I’m nothing compared to Debby. And one day you’re going to realise it and leave me.“ You look into Josh’s eyes and lower your gaze.
,, I feel like I’m not good enough.”
,,Don’t say that about yourself. You know I love you.“ He wants to hug you but you cross your arms upon your chest.
,,And why aren’t you sleeping in one bed with me? Why are you pissed or moody as soon as I enter the room? I get it that you’re stressed and everything, but you don’t have to let it out on me. I don’t want to bother you any longer.”
,,Any longer?“ Josh also steps a step back and has a hurt look on his face.
,,I think you’re better off without me.” You look at him one last time before walking past him and grabbing your keys.
,,I love you Josh.“ Is the last thing you whisper before leaving the house. You decide to drive to your sisters house and stay at hers until you know what to do. You never planned on braking up with Josh, cause you always thought he’s the one to do it, but you were waisting his time. You didn’t deserve him.
When you arrived at your sisters house, the first thing she did was pulling you into a tight hug.
,,Y/N why are you crying?” Is the first thing she asks.
,,I broke up with Josh.“ You whisper between sobs and heavy breaths. You’re a crying mess.
,,Wait what?” She guides you into her living room and hands you a tissue you take great full.
,,He deserves better. I’m not good enough.“ You shrug your shoulders and start to rip the tissue into small pieces. Your view is blurry from the tears and your eyes hurt from crying so much.
,,Y/N that’s bullshit. He loves you, and you know that.” She tries to comfort you but you ignore her. You don’t want to talk about it.
,,Can I just stay here for a week? Josh and Tyler are going on tour again next week.“ You ask her. She nods and shoots you a pitiful look.
,,Sure, you’re my sister.” She smiles which you weakly respond before rubbing your eyes.
,,Do you want some of my clothes? You’re still wearing your pyjamas.“
You blush by embarrassment and nod.
—- Time skip —–
Today was the Fifth day you haven’t seen Josh, and since he still had your phone you also didn’t heard anything from him.
Tired and heartbroken you get up from the couch you slept in the last days and take a shower.
Your sister is at work so you decide to do some grocery shopping to help her out.
,,Y/N is that you?” A known Voice asks behind you and you turn around, facing Tyler.
,,Oh hey.“ You grab your cereal and want to leave when Tyler grabs your arm.
,,Wait a minute. What’s going on between you and Josh?” He asks worried.
,,He doesn’t have to deal with me anymore.“ You manage a sad smile and turn back around.
,,It was nice to see you.” You pay your stuff and rush out of the store as fast as you can, not wanting to meet Tyler a second time.
,,Wait what? You saw her? “ I ask in disbelief.
,,Yeah, she didn’t looked very good tho.” Tyler says. I nod, relief washing over my body. The last 5 days have been terrible. It’s my fault that she left, I didn’t give her the attention she deserves. She thinks so bad about herself, Although I am the one who doesn’t deserve her.
I thought she flew to her parents, but knowing that she’s still in town gives me hope. I want to fight for her, since she’s the one I truly love.
All those tweets from our fans aren’t true, she isn’t waisting my time, and our relationship also isn’t hopeless. I have to show it to her, make her feel loved again.
,,Do you know where she might be? I mean, can you ask Jenna where she is?“ I lean my chin on my left hand and go threw my hair. I haven’t slept in days, and also feel like it. My eyes are red and puffy, and I think I have the worst headache I’ve ever had.
,,I don’t know, I can ask her but i don’t think Y/N told her where she is.” Tyler lays a hand on my shoulder and presses it gently.
,,Are you alright?“ He asks worried.
I just nod and take a deep breath.
,,I have to apologise. I was so stressed from tour and the management that I permanently snapped at her, for nothing. I think she thought I wouldn’t love her anymore.” I feel my voice cracking in the end and blink fast so Tyler wouldn’t see the upcoming tears.
He saw me crying before, but I still hate it when he does. He’s my best friend, more like a brother, but I hate it when people see me weak.
,,Don’t be so hard to yourself Josh. She still loves you, she’s just self doubting. She thinks you deserve better than her, and you have to show her that you don’t. Don’t get me wrong with that, I just think she’s perfect for you.“ Tyler laughs at his own words and I manage a small smile.
,,Yeah I know. I actually think she’s the one.” I look into his eyes, thinking about Y/N when Tyler’s eyes light up.
,,That’s it!“ He cheers happily and I shoot him a confused look.
,,Would you mind telling me why you’re smiling like a idiot?” I ask.
,,Marry her.“ Is all he says.
,,I said marry her, not now. But ask her if she wants to marry you, I think it’s the best way to show her how much you love her.“ Tyler looks at me and I let his idea rewind in my head.
I thought about marrying Y/N a few times, but I always thought it wasn’t the right time.
,,She’s going to be my wife.” I mumble, my smile growing even bigger.
,,I mean if she says yes.“ I add.
,,I’ll call Jenna to help her organise everything, we only have two days left.” Tyler gives me a high five and I get up from my chair.
,,No need to do that, I know how to do it. But thanks dude.“ I give him a tight hug before walking towards my door.
,,I don’t want to sound rude, but I need you to leave. I have to buy a ring.” I smile and Tyler makes an offended face.
,,After everything I’ve done for you, your throw me out like trash?“ Tyler hold his chest and I roll my eyes.
,,Stop being so dramatic, you have Jenna.” I laugh and he just shakes his head, also smiling before leaving the house with me.
After I bought the perfect ring and some other stuff, I went back home, more nervous than I ever was before a show.
I still need to know where Y/N was, so I decided to call her parents, in hope to get any information.
Her parents where surprised when I called, and couldn’t tell me where she is, but she said I should call her sister.
First she didn’t picked up, but when she did I couldn’t believe my ears.
,,Josh?” She asks back. I hear cracking and voices on the ether end of the line.
,,Please don’t hang up.“ Is the first thing I say to her.
,,Why shouldn’t I?” She asks, sadness in her voice.
,,I need to talk to you, please.“ I beg.
,,Josh it’s hopeless, you deserve better than me.” She mumbles and my heart brakes at her Voice. I haven’t heard it for so long.
,,I don’t, give me a chance to explain myself.“
She doesn’t respond.
,,Y/N?” I ask again. I feel my stomach tightening and hold my breath.
,,Okay.“ Is all she says.
,,Okay?” I repeat, a big smile on my face.
,,Yeah, okay.“ She says.
,,Are you free tomorrow?” I look at the black ring box in my hand and start to play with it.
,,Yeah.“ I can practically imagine her, chewing on her lip while playing with the fabric of her shirt.
,,Can you come home? So we Can, uh, talk?” I scratch my neck and wait for her answer.
,,I’ll be there at two.“ She hangs up before I could respond, but knowing that I’ll see her tomorrow is all I could ask for.
After the call I start cleaning the house and decorate it a bit so it’s a romantic affair.
I take a shower and go to our bedroom, thinking about tomorrow.
,,I can’t sleep.” You mumble to your sister, who was sitting next to you watching a movie.
,,Well, its way to early for sleeping.“ She laughs and you sigh.
,,I mean I’m nervous for tomorrow.” You play with Josh’s shirt that you wore when you left the house and think about him. You miss him like crazy.
,,Y/N, don’t worry. As long as you stop being stubborn and saying you’re not enough, you and Josh are going to get back together. He loves you.“ Your sisters turns the volume from the tv more silent and you change your seat to face her.
,,But I want him to be happy.”
,,Who says he can’t be happy with you?“ She asks back.
I just look at her for a moment before I concentrate on my fingers. She’s right, I have to stop to think so bad about my self.
You went upstairs to take a shower and shave unwanted hair, you haven’t took care of your body since you broke up with Josh.
After letting your hair air-dry you go back to your sister and play with your hands.
,,Mind if I borrow one of your sweaters and Jeans for tomorrow?” You smile and she just shakes her head.
You search something to wear in her wardrobe and decide to try to sleep.
When you wake up, it’s almost half past eleven and you get dressed before applying some make up. You’re lucky that your Sister and you are only one year apart and some of her clothes have the same size as yours.
You decide to meet Josh earlier than you said and make your way to your house.
The lights are on so you expect Josh to be home. Your hands are sweaty and you feel your heart beating against your chest. You use your key and open the front door, just to be greeted by Josh with flowers and candles in his arms.
,,Y/N you are here.” He says, a smile on his face.
,,What are the flowers for?“ You ask, feeling a warmth in your while body.
,,They are for you, but you’re too early.” He gently drops them to the floor and walks into your direction.
,,But that’s okay, I don’t think I need flowers to ask you something.“ He seems nervous and you feel the need to hug him.
,,What do you want to ask?” You ask a bit scared.
,,You have to listen first.“ He takes your hand and presses it slightly, as if he’s afraid you pull back. You follow him to the kitchen where you see your favourite meal.
,,Josh.” You mumble surprised but he just moves a chair back to you and takes the seat to your opposite.
,,I thought a lot about my behaviour towards you in the last weeks, and I’m sorry. I snapped on you for things that weren’t your fault. I was moody and grumpy. I wasn’t the boyfriend you deserve, and I’m sorry if I made you feel worthless. I love you, you know that, don’t you?“ He meets your eyes and you smile.
,,I love you too. But I still think I’m not enough, what if you wake up one day and realise you just waisted your time? Plus the fans will never accept me and I know how much you love them.” You say with pure honestly in your voice.
,,I love you more. I don’t care what they say, and you shouldn’t care either. I mean, you know that I can’t live without you. Remember all those times where only you could calm down my anxiety?“
You nod and smile when you think about the nights where Josh and you would just talk for hours.
,,I want you Y/N, I always will.” He stands up just to kneel down in front of you.
,,And that’s why I want you to be my wife someday.“ He puts a black box out of his pocket and you put your hands in front of your mouth.
,,Josh.” You mumble, close to tears.
,,Will you marry me?“ He opens the box and reveals a small gold ring with a tiny diamond on top.
You stand up and pull him up with you to give him a tight hug.
,,Yes. Thousand times yes.” You muffle against his chest before sobbing into it. Josh just smiles and takes your hand. Slowly and with care he puts the ring on your finger before kissing you. You missed his lips so much. You melt under his touch and feel your muscles relax when he lays a hand on your lower back while the other one is tangled in your hair.
,,I love you.“ He whispers into your hear, holding you close to him.
,,I love you too.”
,,I feel like an idiot.“ You mumble after dinner.
,,why?” Josh looks down to you, happy to have you in his arms again.
,,Instead of spending your week off with you, I slept at my sisters house.“ You blush and Josh grins.
,,Well, I think I have something that could make up or loss time.”
,,What?“ You ask exited.
,,Come with me on tour.” You study his face to see if he’s serious.
,,Really?“ You ask smiling.
,,Yeah, I talked to your boss and he said you could have unpaid vacation for three months.” Josh plays with your hair and your smile grows even bigger.
,,I can travel all those places you told me about with you.“ You whisper happily.
,,Yes babe.” He kisses you and you look at your ring.
,,I can’t believe I’m going to be your wife.“
fyi: I’m sick of this website, I’ve been considering leaving for a while and I think I’ve finally had enough
you’re all a bunch of whiny babies who need to grow the fuck up. bandmembers don’t owe you shit. Tyler and Josh literally NEVER tweet about social issues/politics/whatever and lmao I’d be so surprised if they did. “waah I’m scared and I feel unsafe cause my fav hates my sexuality!!” are you even aware how stupid that sentence sounds…. same with fans feeling scared because Tyler Joseph prefers his own (transphobic, true) BROTHER over them. like. his brother. one of the closest people to him. dear children, please leave the internet and come back when you grow up……… thats my contribution as a very gay person goodnight
Ok, so, this is my opinion, I’m not saying this is true, this is what happened or is going to happen. I’m 100% convinced Zouis are still friends BTS, why?
First of all, as soon as Zayn quit I read this, point 3 seemed actually possibile and made me think. They could have handled this split up a lot better then this, if they only WANTED.
But they didn’t:
1st - Make Zayn leave during the middle of the tour
2nd - Make him leave with a facebook post, not a word from him
3rd - Tell the fans he’s leaving because of the stress, then call paps to show him in the studio the day AFTER (seriously? Try harder), so the fans feel betrayed “He lied to us all I hate him” (I’m reporting my friend’s words more or less)
So, my point is that they are trying to cut Zayn’s ties with the fandom to make him start a totally new career. (I don’t think Zayn actually cares about the number of fans he’ll have, he knows he won’t probabily be as great as 1D, but I think he didn’t enjoy being in the band and maybe his image anymore, just my thought)
Second - Naughty Boy
NB is having a huge role in this (idk how much of the hate he throws to 1D fans is staged and how much is real, I dislike him A LOT and I really hope Zayn doesn’t associate with him other than for work/change his image.)
But anyway, he tweeted a lot of stuff that made us know that Zayn leaving was planned from a lot of time. Some fans that met him were told Zayn and NB have been working on his new album for months (not sure if this is true tho).
After a few days from Zayn’s departure, Louis tweeted NB the first time, apparently out from nothing, getting his name out there. Shahid, immediatly after that, posted a demo of Zayn’s single (weird he was so ready to post it innit?).
Suddendly everyone knew about Zayn going solo, zaughty got that promo, everyone that NEVER KNEW ZAYN EXISTED, heard that song. In italy everyone was suddendly talking about Zayn (here you NEVER hear about the boys on tv, but back then every single tv program said Zayn’s name, weird af, if i have to be honest). So Louis helped (i think it was staged tbh) Zaughty to get their name and single’s demo out there.
From those tweets I previously posted I think the boys knew about Zayn leaving since a lot of time (Simon Cowell said that was no news), they had time to digest the thing, and we know how Zouis were close lately, so I think they are ok with that (:
Third - Zayn is still under contract with Syco/whoever controls his image
“That’s why Malik’s label management team has already positioned him for a future as a solo act: Malik is signed to Syco as a group member and individually. A “leaving member clause” in the band’s deal allows the act to continue as a foursome, and it also offers the label the option to pick up Malik’s contract as a solo artist.”
So apparently Zayn didn’t break his contract, and I think he’s still under Syco/
whoever controls his media image, because a person that breaks all ties with the previous ‘life’ doesn’t go to The Sun, number one Management’s voice, that have always talked shit about him, releasing an exclusive interview that thay could cut and manipulate how they want (thing they have done).
Last: breaking a contract in the middle of it, out from nothing, always lead to the management company to sue the artists (it already happened with modest!), so it unlikely what happened.
So, Zayn’s image is still controlled, we still can’t ‘trust’ everything he tweets as real.
I want to make clear I don’t like how this situation was handled at all, I hate they make us see Zayn and the boys hating eachother, but I honestly think that all the last tweets were planned and Zouis is going just fine (:
To me this looks like a HUGE promo move for 1D, Zayn, Naughty Boy, and Little Mix, and they are trying to definitely cut Zayn’s ties with the boys.
CASUALLY this twitter drama happened exactly after the first tv appearence of the boys has been announced yesterday, so everyone will know from the articles about the twitter drama that they’ll appear soon at the late night show.
On a personal level, I can say I have more faith in Zouis than all this shit, and i think they are smarter than to throw their personal problems out for the World to see (Louis didn’t even mention or indirected Zayn in his tweets? LMAO).
What is going to happen? I think we’ll have a Zerrie break up when Zayn will be finally ready to lauch his solo career (i’m just guessing, but it’s likely to happen, like the Zouis twitter fight)
Please don’t forget that the only actual words we had from Zayn were about him trying to force himself in doing something he didn’t like anymore, just to not let down the fans.
I’m sorry if this is confusing, english is not my first language, I tried my best (:
Michi, is that true that Ishida has been receiving hate in his twitter for the end of the anime? And he is actually apologizing for that? Can you please translate one? This man is a blessing for the world ;w;
I’m not so sure about this but I guess some people tweeted their disappointment with regards to the anime to Ishida-sensei tho I haven’t really seen Ishida apologize for that.
I think what people need to understand that yes, the original story draft for the anime was based on the draft Ishida-sensei submitted to Studio Pierrot but if you look at the drafts that were shown in the PVs and in the official twitter page, you’ll notice that they took out A LOT of the scenes that could’ve been included (probably because they couldn’t fit it all in 12 episodes). And we don’t know just how much Pierrot altered from the original draft.
I’ve seen some posts here on tumblr that people are hating on Ishida because of the anime BUT PLEASE LOOK AT THINGS PROPERLY BEFORE JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS BECAUSE HE DOES NOT DESERVE THIS KIND OF TREATMENT FROM HIS FANS.
I made someone mad by tweeting black men claim they were prevented from protecting black women from rape because they were scared but risked their lives to be with the slave master’s daughter. A lot of that is true, and if you can’t handle the truth, then by all means, say so. But don’t deny it and claim I just “hate black men” because this is new, gross information to you. And I clearly did not mean literally when I said “slave master’s daughter.” But go awf tho.