this turned out to be so ugly but i feel it so much

how i write
  • ‘okay so oh my god, i’ve literally got the best idea for this fic, it’s so unique and i bet no one ever thought about it’
  • writes like one paragraph
  • *forgets about it for 3 months*
  • opens it later with even more ideas
  • ‘oh my god i know the best way to follow up this fic ha ha i’m so smart’
  • writes like 5 lines
  • deletes like 855 lines
  • ‘i feel like i’ve used this word a lot’
  • rereads so many times that the text has lost all it’s meaning
  • ‘nope you used ‘said’ last time and ‘spoke’ before that. use a different word for said’
  • lines turn into complex statements
  • trying to figure out if the person who reads it can figure it out
  • breaks! 
  • blames writer’s block even though i got too much inspiration
  • trying to stop myself from indulging in too much fluff
  • more breaks!
  • ‘my fingers hurt’ word count - 67
  • ‘who set out the rules for upper case first letters after the full stops? that shit is stupid and tiring?’
  • sucks at describing the scene
  • ‘it was a warm and dark night, like black ink that’s been boiled on a low flame’
  • sucks more at adjectives and adverbs
  • ‘the pretty woman pretty much hated the pretty girl and her pretty sister’
  • really sucks at writing angst 
  • ‘tim loved tom but tom thought he liked jim because it was prophesied’
  • reads prompts for fics and is like
  • ‘i can work so much with this. i got it down. it’s good. i got the perfect idea’
  • repeat 

anonymous asked:

hey rina... you're amazing. i was wondering if you had any tips on drawing bakugou's hair? because i kinda unlearned how to do it? and you draw it so soft and nice aaaa, thank you either way,, sending smooches

thank you so much anon!!!!! ok so here it is:

since hair is usually soft, even when spiky, i try to make my lines curved and quick! don’t care about the shape, just do what feels right and it’ll turn out ok!!! it doesn’t have to be perfect, it’s hair after all ;v;

it’s good to avoid doing those stiff ugly manga spikes tho´´´

anonymous asked:

i always get very insecure when i see the beautiful female idols and girl group members because i know i can never look like them and idk. i'm too emotional tonight

awww love please don’t!!! trust me i felt like that too a couple months ago… it got so bad i started starving myself and my mom found out… and it turned into this really big thing… since then i have learned a lot :) 


YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND GORGEOUS IN YOUR OWN WAY! DON’T LET ANYONE MAKE YOU FEEL UGLY B/C YOU ARE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! Never think less of yourself. Don’t ever wish to be or look like someone else. Stop comparing yourself to others.Stop worrying so much about what other people think. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. One day you will realize how beautiful you are. Why not make that day today? It’s only when you accept yourself that you will truly be free.


Originally posted by queen-of-suburbiaa

last night i was drinking all kinds of alcohol with a group of my brothers friends in the basement of our place and we played monopoly until half the group was too drunk to calculate money

i’ve never been as drunk as they were, fumbling on the floor muttering incomplete sentences, for one drunken night all the sorry’s and i love you’s and every suppressed word of a human conscience spill out of candid mouths, no inhibitions, knocking over cups of water and ruining half of the monopoly money, singing along louder than the music when turned up all the way

blacking out, feeling sick, crawling because walking is no longer a thing, my body seems to refuse to get as drunk as that so i don’t quite know what it’s like but i’ve seen things, because i observe, and i listen, and i end up falling in love with the chaos of humanity, the ugliness as much as the beauty

i’m an optimistic realist, often high on fascination and realization

it was so enjoyable to be surrounded by these carefree beings, each with their own complex and equally as beautiful stories that hide within the caves of their hearts, words written and not often spoken but if you really just observe and listen you’ll realize people hand out puzzle pieces of their own story with the way they laugh, the way they can’t look you directly in the eye when they speak, the way they constantly bring up that one name when they’ve drank too much, the way they hate spiders, have obsessions for quirky things, chuckle when they’re nervous, a story is still a story when it’s in the form of shaking hands and shifty eyes, remember that and you’ll be able to read people much better
being around these drunk, some sad, crying through apologies, some happy, singing for the entire world to hear, being around these people was a high moment for me, i felt euphoric on the notion of existence
us, you, me

does actuality make sense?

not a bit, that’s the beauty of it

— optimistic realist (something between paralyzed and ‘i’m fine’)


“Some of them have already debut in the different groups”  HE SAYS








sooooooooo, I’ve been drifting in the robron fandom for a while, and haven’t properly watched anything since the wedding. I probably won’t watch the recent stuff for a while, if at all.

ANYWAY, I just wanted to say, I’m sorry. sure, so much of their past has been ugly - no one is denying that - but after sticking with them through the worst of it and supporting the show through their journey to turn it around. this whole thing just feels yuck.

robert accepted who he was, rebuilt his relationship with his family, worked hard, fell in love, found purpose, found happiness

and this, this is just lazy. and weak. I’m sorry to add to the pain, I’m not about to disappear from the fandom, I just felt the need to let it out.

there is so much beauty in that relationship, and in the people who portray it, and they will always be meaningful in the simplest ways. the show, the fans, and robron, didn’t need fabricated drama untrue to its characters to draw an audience.

so yeah, I’m sorry. sorry it happened and sorry you’re hurting. you’re a beautiful bunch x

“I learned how to be big by accident.
I was 10 and I didn’t look like the other girls.
I was 10 and it was too late to turn
the kids had already learned how to wield the knives under their tongues
so I kept quiet when they spat.
I stayed soft and I forgave.
the first few popped up on my inner
thigh when I turned fourteen,
splayed out like white trees on smooth skin.
when I told my friends, they did not look proud.
I learned how to be big by accident.
a patch reached across my hips when I turned 16 and
the white rivers opened up into a delta
on my calves.
I was a landscape.
I was art.
I kept growing and they kept coming
like refugees from some falling country.
“give me your tired, your poor”
I am a city of sounds.
I will keep you safe.
I know I am supposed to feel ugly.
they all tell me that no woman should
look so well-travelled,
but they don’t know.
I am earth. I am sun and skies.
I am the high road, the low road.
I am every poem about skin.
I am a world that cannot be explored
in one day.
I am not a place for cowards.”

a love letter to my stretch marks | Caitlyn Siehl

anonymous asked:

sorry if this comes out random but i just Feel so ugly and i'm tired of going to my friends about my self esteem issues bc i feel like i'm annoying them & honestly it's probably true that i'm an ugly piece of shit bc my friend told me when i felt like crap "ugly ppl turn pretty their senior year" idk lmao i just wish i looked better. i'm sorry i just needed to let this out lmao

its okay dont worry im glad you were comfortable enough to send me this ! i think that no matter what i say or how much people praise or comfort you it wont change your view of yourself. you have to let yourself become confident enough to pay attention to yourself and begin to love yourself. it all has to come from you. i bet youve heard it all before so i wont repeat what everyone says, but if it means anything, i bet you’re absolutely adorable

“i’m beautiful.”

this scene though. chato was all but completely broken down and choking back tears, floyd and boomer were almost paralyzed in their horrified anguish, and harley just turned all the anger she had at chato’s confession back at him (was she reminded of her own murder of jason, another child himself?)

and i know that harley didn’t mean it and then again when she lashed out at boomer and dragged waylon into it by saying that he’s just ugly all around

but he just took all that viciousness and misplaced fury and and self-loathing and helplessness that were suffocating everyone in that room and just… waylon responded to harley so simply, with so much respect and love and kindness for oneself.

when my theater audience broke into laughter and harley smiled back and said, “yes you are” it’s so honest and true, it feels like an immediate balm to the heart.

To the people who don’t like their laugh: I do.

I love the way your breath will hitch and falter after each intake of air,

How your cheeks will turn rosy, shoulders bouncing in mirth,

How your nose and eyes crinkle up, teeth poking out against your bottom lip.

I love the snorts that come out every now and again and the wheezing intakes of air when you are done,

Your hands cover your mouth trying to hide the smile makes its way to your face,

Your stomach hurts, tears rolling down your face, a bubbly feeling in your chest.

So, please, don’t stop. Don’t stop laughing because you don’t think it sounds good, because it is ugly. It isn’t. Your laughter is beautiful and expresses just how happy you feel. I love your laughter and so will everyone else, so smile and let it out. Your happiness doesn’t need to be hidden.

Lady Caitlyn, a character I’m gonna add to my story at some point … a long way down the road…

After several attempts and about a year and six months of owning a graphic tablet, I finally finished something. I’m still incredibly awkward with this thing though, I feel like my lines are very wobbly and ugly, ugh. But I guess I just need practise, right? Anyway, I do like how the colours turned out for the most part :D Thanks a lot to Juliajm15, for she’s the one who inspired me and whom I got most of the digital drawing and colouring technique from for this piece! Am still going to try and find my own style, but at least I’ve found a starting point, so thank you so much :D