Taurus- Zoey 101
Gemini- The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Cancer- Wizards of Waverly Place
Leo- Totally Spies
Virgo- The Amanda Show
Libra- Phil of the Future
Scorpio- Drake and Josh
Sagittarius- That’s So Raven
Capricorn- Avatar: the Last Airbender
Aquarius- Fairly Odd Parents
Pisces- Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends
Okay, so the whole humans are space orcs/earth is space Australia thing has me thinking: what about grooming/pampering?
Like, a lot of us go to spas/salons (or do the cheaper at home versions) to literally get hair ripped from our bodies using a large variety of different methods, to obtain our own personal desired levels of body hair. And we call it pampering. What if humans are the only ones who do that? Aliens that cut/dye hair, comb/style it in totally unique ways to suit themselves, but pull it out completely? What kind of creature tortures itself like that?
And we have so many ways of doing it. Tweezing, waxing, threading, hair removal creams that can burn your skin to name a few.
Plus there are facials that leave your face red and splotchy for hours afterward because they pick at your skin to remove gunk.
Massages, where in order to feel good they have to hurt you to remove the tension from your muscles, so while eventually it feels good, it hurts first.
We twist ourselves into weird positions to paint our toenails because our knees get in the way (not so painful, but reasonably uncomfortable).
We are willing to sit still for obscene amounts of time to get our hair/nails/make up done, even though humans are notoriously fidgety.
So some aliens at first would probably think we’re super vain (and some humans are), but more experienced aliens would be like:
“no, that’s just something the humans enjoy. It’s how they ‘treat themselves.’”
“But, Skrill, she’s literally ripping hair out of her face?”
“It’s how she gets her eyebrows - how did she put it? - ‘on fleek.’ Compliment them, humans are thrilled when you compliment them when they spend a lot of time on face hair removal.”
Do you know what I will always be bitter about from the waste that was TW?
That in order to give us cheap escalating horror and tragedy, they never let us saw the smallest things about the day to day life in the Pack.
Like what waitresses think when they see this mismatch group of beautiful people cram into the booth of their dinner at 3AM, clothes half torn up and smiling like crazy people. Do they think they are a kinky sex club? Do they think they are actors in a horror movie on a break? Do they just don’t bat an eye because they have seen so much worse (and they are polite and give good tips?)
Or what shopping is life as a werewolf. Are you able to smell if a fruit is ripe? are there security footage of Derek helping an old lady chose the right watermelon somewhere?
Where is my boy scout type moment, with Derek trying to teach as many things as he can about surviving into the woods? Where is my “don’t fuck with boar. Seriously don’t do it. You are a werewolf but they are boars, if you see one just climb a tree for fuck sake, don’t be a hero”. Where is my Scott and Jackson fighting about a type a moss and what it means.
Where are my “craming for exams” night, with lot of junk food, Lydia looking vaguely condescendant, and Derek not understanding why they are highschoolers spilled all over his floor? (but looking secretly pleased about it)
Or the pack reaction the first time they saw Derek hale in a suit (because damn). Lydia would sigh happily (because she totally chose the suit and she’s the best), Erica would stay silent and poker face and take so much pictures with her phone it’s basically a movie, Jackson would grumble something, kira would be all excited, etc…
(Stiles would totally screech and nope right out of the door in self defense, let’s be honest)
I just… I miss the little things that would have been (even if it made me love the fandom that much more)