this took some time but it's worth it

anonymous asked:

How realistic was Laura fighting in Logan? She's 11. Her bones would theoretically still be pretty soft, but she's also a mutant who heals almost instantly. While she does often lose to adults when they swarm her, she also kills a lot of people. In addition, she falls in a weird limbo between Child Solider and Child Raised for Combat because the people who trained her from birth treated her as disposable, and didn't try to brainwash her. As a result, she escapes ASAP. Thoughts?

Well, I haven’t seen Logan yet but the problem with the question is “realistic”. This is X-men, realism left the building ages ago. Nothing is realistic. If you’re asking about realism then you’re asking the wrong questions because superpowers change the rules. What you’re really asking is: should an eleven year old child be able to fight on the same level as an experienced warrior like Wolverine?

And the answer is, in the Marvel universe characters with healing factors (like Wolverine) have recovered from being burned into ash by the sun. So, in a setting where his healing factor is failing and he’s dying but she’s young, genetically/physically enhanced, and hers is working at full throttle then why not? She’s a tiny Logan. A rage-filled murder ball dedicated to death and destruction, created in a lab that turns human guinea pigs into ultimate weapons. So, I ask, why not? She’s doing exactly what she’s been designed to do, minus it being on the orders of someone else.

What stops children from competing with adults is three things.

1) Physical immaturity. Their bodies are still developing, and not on par with an adults.

2) Mental immaturity. Their brains are still developing, and don’t have the same basic understanding that adults do especially in regards to consequences. They don’t really grasp concepts like “death” and “gone forever” very well. Psychologically, these kids get pretty messed up.

3) Due to the above two problems, unless they have weapons, they can’t overcome the gap.

X-23 does all three. She has the healing factor, genetic enhancements, and blades coming out of her hands and front toe, all of which solve two of the above problems. They allow her to go toe to toe with adults because she can simply power or brute force her way through it. From a combat perspective, it doesn’t really matter if she gets hurt or go through serious body horror as her body will repair itself. So, someone without morals could put her through a meat grinder and still use her again. Plus, at least in X-men Evolution and the comics, she tends to be psychologically messed up. Someone who was treated as a weapon from the moment she was born, trained as a weapon, used as a weapon, and doesn’t really comprehend most “normal” human experiences. A clone with all Wolverine’s experiences, except she went through them as a child.

Laura Kinney, X-23 is by all standards a fairly new character in the Marvel universe. She was first introduced in the early 2000s through the WB cartoon X-Men: Evolution. Like Harely Quinn, she’s a canon immigrant. When she was introduced in the cartoon, she was a teenager.

In character, she was an angry violent rage-ball, a teenage version of Logan except more lost and unstable. However, the major difference between their experiences was that where Logan was an adult when he went through the Weapon X program, she was a child. She was the twenty-third test subject, and the only one who survived the experiments. X-23 was desperate to find out who she was and where she belonged; and, having been “raised” by Hydra, determined to find (and, possibly kill) Wolverine whom she viewed as responsible for everything that happened to her. That desire was mixed up in her desire to know who she was. Because she was a human weapon, she couldn’t distinguish between the two. Fighting was what she knew how to do, so that’s what she did. Her introduction was sneaking through the X-men mansion, disabling all the other mutant children and teachers in order to single Logan out to fight.

As a character, considering everything else, she was a fairly accurate representation of a child raised to be a human weapon. Psychologically traumatized, unstable, and unable to really comprehend her emotions or concepts like “friendship” and “family”. Deeply mistrustful of anyone and anything who got too close, unable to communicate her needs except through anger and violence. Any approach was likely to elicit an immediate, violent response. She doesn’t know how to be anything except a weapon.

Logan could reach her because Logan understood what she’d been through, but he also couldn’t really help her and it took a long time before she came to trust him (if she ever really did). That door didn’t open often for anyone else.

If you want to see her first appearances then the episodes to watch are “X23″ and “Target X”.  The name “Laura Kinney” comes (I think) from the comics as she originally did not have any name other than X-23.

In the comics, she’s another of the Weapon X subjects and the 23 refers to her gender rather than the number of times it took to create her. She escapes like she does in the movie, and eventually starts trying to figure out who she is.

It’s not really worth asking questions about realism when a setting has explicitly ejected realism. Have a good guffaw over anyone trying to argue about the “realism of Batman”. There isn’t any. The setting has defined its own definition of realism and that’s what it follows. Realism isn’t everything, and it doesn’t define what a good story is. Often, it’s not even the question you should be asking. Avatar: the Las Airbender has some awesome fighting for a children’s cartoon, fighting clearly drawn (ha!) from martial arts in the real world. However, it is by no means realistic. And, honestly, that doesn’t matter.

Well-told stories are defined by how well they tell their stories, and maintain their suspension of disbelief. Everything else after that is popcorn. Realism comes into play when we admire how well someone has done their research, how well that research supports and enhances our experience when consuming media. You don’t want to understand combat just for an added dose of realism, but also because knowledge gives us more options to work with. The more you know, the more detail you can add. All the better to create a more enjoyable experience, my dear.

Understanding the rules is the first step in figuring out how to break them, or just manipulate them to your advantage. Whatever works.

-Michi

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HIGH RESOLUTION COCKPIT(s*)

*soon

Spent a few days on this but I think the results doesn’t look too bad. It’s pretty basic in terms of functionality but atleast it looks acceptable (is it?). It’s based off the Su-27 cockpit but I took some liberties in modifying it because of reasons and make it look a bit different and unique. 

I’m going to try to keep the cockpit at this quality, depending on time constraints I might have to scale it down if its necessary but I hope it doesn’t come to that. Cockpits are hard to make, but when it’s at a somewhat acceptable state, it’s worth it.

Overall it was a good learning experience again tinkering with HR cockpits. I’ve learnt a lot of new techniques 

I’m going to shift my focus to the gameplay side of things again. Hopefully I”ll be able to post more often and show you more interesting things. 

I am aware that the sound design in the game is quite lacking. Sound design in the cockpit will be overhauled eventually, but you’re unlikely to see it for a while.


Expect another demo soon.


Questions and Answers

Keep reading

I know this isn’t the best i can do but i really wanted to draw somethiing with this little sunshine and this took so much time already x-x  ( drawing him is so hard for some reason ?? T-T)

His hair is living a life of its own. Also it’s not really smooth and all, might work on that somewhen else ( probably not though) so for now that’s all~~

2

“Can we have ice cream later?” 

“Oh Misty darling, you know that sweet stuff makes you fat and is terrible for your teeth. And you’re so pretty, just like me when I was your age, do you want to be fat and ugly?”

“N-no mumma.”

“That’s my favorite girl. Now, honey do you remember the dance routine we practiced with your sisters?” 

“Yes mumma.” 

“Good. Now there’s your cue, baby—go out there and do your best for me.

Little Misty Morgan was born into a family of showbiz, with a mother Mitzi Morgan who was a popular Kantonese daytime actress in her prime and three stepsisters (Violet, Lily and Daisy) said mother managed  as a troupe of child-to-teenage dancers. (Their mother slept around with producers sometimes for better roles, and neither of the sisters have the same father, and Misty has no idea nor care who hers is). 

Misty was a very precocious toddler; smart, talented and confident, every moment captured on film and she out of all her siblings showed the best promise as a dancer and a singer and by god, did her mother make the most out of it, more so because she out of all her sisters most resembled their mother and was thus, the golden child. 
She was entered into child beauty pageants and was a part of the Sensational Sisters since she was five, dancing and performing when she wasn’t doing schoolwork and while she enjoyed it initially and loved working with Pokemon which was something which came naturally to her, it began to wear on her as she grew older and Mitzi wanted her to take a starring role which put her at odds with two of her older sisters Violet and Lily (who already resented her for being the favorite) and the practice workload and neverending shows took a toll on her grades. 
Mitzi micromanaging every aspect of her life and being emotionally (and as time went by, physically) abusive didn’t make the situation better and she battled with self-esteem and image issues as a teenager until she was fifteen at which point she got into a massive row with her mother (after hacking off most of her well-cultivate long hair which Mitzi was proud of), which resulted in a physical scuffle that was brought up in family court. 
Through emancipation of a minor, Misty was able to remove herself from Mitzi’s care  and Daisy, the one sister who was supportive of her (and was already 18 at that point) vouched to be her guardian.

Taking a sabbatical from showbusiness, she decided to focus on her studies as well as Pokemon training and gained both a stellar CGPA and extracurricular record, enough for her to be chosen to further her studies for Marine Biology in Unova which was attempting to mend its ties with Kanto at that time through a student exchange program. 
There, she met up with Marlon, the son of Humilau’s chief who was studying in her line and whom she grew close to. He struck up her interest in owning a gym, a desire which she took back with her to Kanto and after proving her worth as one of the nation’s top Pokemon trainers, was given the gym lease for Cerulean City. She’s steadfastly held on to it through criticisms lobbed her way from some members of the public who believed a ‘spoiled showbiz brat’ had no right to own a gym and her own mother who expounded constantly how doomed her venture was. 

Due to her time as a child celebrity, she’s become extremely good at faking niceties without even realizing it and comes off as a Stepford Smiler; While she loves dancing and performing and still puts on special shows with her sisters, she dislikes being reminded of her time performing as a child due to her memories of it versus what most people saw. 
Without her mask or for those who manage to get beyond it, she’s a headstrong, tempestuous, impatient and hotheaded spitfire who would step across broken glass for her passions and the people she loves, has an opinion for everything and will probably discourse you to death at three in the morning AND ANOTHER THING ASSHOLE

She doesn’t even know why she has a Togepi; DC (Dumb Cutie) is pretty much a useless pile of fluff she rescued during her travels that can’t battle yet, needs a lot of care and poops on her shoulders during inopportune times, but she dgaf, he cute. 

Other notes:
She’s partially based off Trish Walker from Jessica Jones! Also look, I wanted her to have a proper wetsuit don’t judge me.
It should be said at this point, that all headcanons including Misty’s story here, Old Gods and New Worlds and the Oak Family Saga are how these characters exist in Sins of the Father’s timeline, because I’m a sucker for stories. 

Markings

Harley writes rules on her hand, or her arm, or sometimes even note cards she hides inside her hammer to remember small things. ‘Don’t plant nightshade in the garden.’ ‘No practicing knife tossing while Zoe is in the house’ , ‘Don’t stir up Floyd with compliments about Batsy, the makeup sex is not worth the pouting filled rage he wishes to unleash.’. All needed. Though a lot of the time its things she writes on her inside wrist that are more important. ‘Get macadamias for Zoe, the angel loves them.’ to ‘Your name was Harleen Quinzel’ or ‘I was born in fall, I think.’ to the always calming ‘Don’t run. This is real.’.’. When Shot found out about her habit, he took care to write on the back of her neck, scribbling little titles like ‘Nightshade Princess’, ‘Protected by Deadshot’,  ‘Crazy Momma Harls’. or some little saying she would giggle at the rest of the morning after Zoe told her what it was. ‘I show love by shouting S$&t and cooking.’, ‘My home is in a snipes nest.’ , ‘All my guys hold their arsenic’. Zoe drew little hearts and spades whenever she was done with her homework, it being more a absentminded activity for her. A habit that Harley was just a canvas for her to draw on sometimes.

She never mentioned how her memories played tricks on her some days, she woke up expecting to see J’s face only to have her shout die at seeing Floyd instead. That some days she remembered Duela, the others she was a distant memory. The only constant, was the pen marks reminding her of dates and titles. Of a life she had to stay in.

“Who-who knew dressing in a-a nice suit was all it took to let riffraff like you into a high class party like this, eh Pines?” 

“Heh, says the man who used my nieces’ craft scissors to turn his lab coat into a tailcoat last minute, and is drinking Zarkonian champagne from a red plastic cup.” 

“Hey! A-all-all have you know this cup is wor-worth at least five grapples.”

How I Got a 5 on the (hard) AP Euro Exam

One question ive been asked constantly since the 2015 AP Euro scores came out is “How did YOU come out with a 5?” Its not posed as a mean question, but theres this perception that if you are the type of person to get a 5 you have to be super studious, no fun, no boyfriend/girlfriend, loser, no life just hardcore study study study. And…i’m not that kinda student. In fact, i didnt even become a “good” student until maybe the beginning of junior year, to be honest. I had a very small AP Euro class (8 people i mean) and i was one of two people who had a five in the class. The other girl was…kinda what i described about. All her life was all about studying, she took all APs, didnt hang out with people, she even told me once she only went to after school clubs just enough to have them count on her common app for college, not for actual enjoyment… i’m not like that. not by a long shot- so in order to help others in prep for AP Euro, here’s my advice on how I got a 5. (and some advice on what not to do, based on the other people in my class)

Find a motivation

My teacher said he thought i could only score a 3, maybe a four. I wanted to prove him wrong.

Dont listen to haters

My biggest hater was my boyfriend, actually (just for reference we were in the same class). While i was working my ass off everyday, always reading my Crash Course or my Princeton all i would hear from him is “i dont know why you’re studying so hard” “you’re making yourself sick, you need to stop.” “It’s all pointless, its either you know it or you dont.” “Youre studying so much and getting so anxious, here i am playing video games and not giving a shit and im sure im gonna be fine on the test because im not stressed out like you are” Granted, at the time he was going through his parents divorce and i think he was partially taking it out on me- but thats hard to hear from anyone, especially your boyfriend you’ve been dating for years. I was working so hard and studying so hard because i wanted a good score, not even a 5, i just really wanted a 4, at least- and then you hear that discouragement and…it sucks. At the time while it hurt i didnt pay it anymind and still worked as hard as i did and then fast forward to result day… I got the 5. He got a 1. And he cried, i swear to you, he cried. I didnt play the “i told you so game, though i did think so.” To people who work hard, you’ll be rewarded. If you slack and think its all gonna come to you…its not.

Actually read those study books (and heres what i read)

Who wants to hear you actually have to work? Yes..you do. Even if you have a great teacher, youre gonna need to supplement that class time with actual work. My school gave us 4 books in total: two textbooks- Mckay and Kagan, and two study guides- The Princeton Review (long) and the Crash Course book (short review) I read both of the guides…all the way through. Crazy right? I would just read them in my spare time- bus ride home? Lets read about the War of 1812 cause im kinda fuzzy on it. To me, i like history so it wasnt a complete chore, but if you want a good score its good to know your content. And after reading those two, i KNEW European History. If you arent so lucky to have access to review books, message me in my ask and i will give you my links to the pdf version.

…and watch those study videos

This one i dont think is so bad. Honestly you can just play them in the background while you do other things, and having things explained by a teacher online isnt so bad. I recommend

Tom Richey’s Videos (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIcmPM0zwQQ&list=PLfzs_X6OQBOxudw-bxvxBuTWvh6bwaVhQ)

annnd Crash Course’s select videos on euro history (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjEGncridoQ&list=PLO0R3oPRL55yxFBqtxvWyN0CQZ-iSre8m)

…and even sign up for those tumblr AP Euro guides.

does this seem excessive? maybe a bit, but its good to have people who are going or have gone through the same class- even my studyblr might help. Sometimes its easier to review when you have funny gifs or jokes in the middle of your review session,just to lighten the edge. Here’s a list of AP Euro blogs i followed

http://awyeahapeuro.tumblr.com/

http://easyeuro.tumblr.com/

http://thecrashcourse.tumblr.com/

http://apbymichelle.tumblr.com/

http://pbsthisdayinhistory.tumblr.com/ (not exactly AP euro, but you’ll find some interesting things that might help you on the test.

It helps if you’ve taken an AP before, not gonna lie

Its going to be a lot harder for you if youve never had an ap class before. Thats the hard truth about it, its not going to be easy, and some people cant deal with that. Theres a lot more work and a lot more pressure. Can you handle that? I want to warn you. AP teachers will be up your ass. They will give you huge packets of work and expect it done when they ask you for it. They will not accept regular essays, they will accept AP essays. They will give you twice the work of a regular class, and expect it due on the same time. You actually have to work hard if you want to get a 5. A lot of people get fustrated with the work and get angry, but thats the reality of AP work and also there is a reward at the end of the tunnel, trust me.

An interesting tidbit: during the essay portion of the test, me and alex (the only other girl who got a 5) were the last people to finish

little interesting thing. The essay portion of the test is about 120 minutes. The people who got failed were done the first, within about 40 minutes and were confident. The people that did okay were done at about an hour. But me and alex took the longest to finish (about 115 minutes) and wrote about 12 pages in total for the 3 essays. Coincedence? just take your time and reeaally plan out your essays. Here was my strategy: since for ⅔ essays youre allowed a choice of what to write, for any essay you think you can write about in the margins try to write about 3 examples for it, if you cant do it, find another essay to write.

Come into it with a good attitude….but be aware you’re gonna have some major anxiety

This is a stressful class, but its worth it. Trust me, you’ll learn a lot, i promise you.

I kept my AP schedule manageable

A lot of people i know who take APs go crazy and take a bunch. If you can, try to keep a somewhat managable schedule. For example, in sophmore year i took 1 AP, junior year: 2 APs, senior year: 3 APs. Also, they should be classes you have strength in, like if your good at history take history classes.

dont cheat.

you ever hear cheaters never prosper? Its true. You’re not gonna learn the material, and you’re teacher might find out. Which will make him a whole lot harder on you then others. Trust me. And you want your teacher to like you, he’ll let you off a lot easier when you fuck up.

relax and be a teenager for once

in the end, if you work your ass off for too long a period of time you will burn out. Burnouts not fun, ive seen my friends go through it. One time my friend was doing a presentation where she had a wrong fact that the teacher jokingly pointed out and she ran out of the class into the bathroom to vomit. When you pressure yourself so much you can really hurt yourself.

KNOW YOUR TREATIES. Know em’. Do it.

Theyre the hardest thing to remember so of course theyre tested the hardest. Look in the Crash course book for a helpful list.

Watch out for your physical and emotional health

really. Eat right, try to walk a little, stretch after a long studying session. try to meditate. relax. breathe. love yourself, dearies

And you better not stop after learning WWII history

the test makers know most AP classes will only get up to about post WWII history. Dont slack, read bout the Cold War, read bout the Euro law, dont stop, because they will expect you too.

AND ALWAYS STUDY RUSSIA AND WOMEN.

know about russia, know about women. Its the most frequently tested things on any test.

nokindofangel said: ok but does it make you super fucking tired. cause when i first started smoking i would get super fucking tired after taking a few hits. maybe i’m just a fucking lightweight but god damn i love how it makes me sleep so fucking good

YEAH HOLY SHIT…. IT MAKES ME SO FUCKING SLEEPY BUT IN THE NICEST MOST COZY WAY POSSIBLE OMG

the first time i ever smoked i had like 3 hits and immediately after it hit me i was feeling so good and relaxed that i just took my ass to bed LMAO

reichouclub said: i need me some of this shit wtf

its honestly so worth if u dont mind having to inhale the smoke (which i personally dont love but it doesnt burn or stink as bad as cigarette smoke) 

fatgirlfriend said: This is so funny and true also

thanks i love to be relatable and accessible to my followers

volyakazia said: oui’d,,,

tbh i definitely appropriated that from @babyfairy every time she says it i lose my shit 

4

Kit Harington, Peter Dinklage, Emilia Clarke, Richard Madden, Rose Leslie, John Bradley & Michelle Fairley by Michael Muller at San Diego Comic Con for Entertainment Weekly

5

Finally finished painting of the glittery high warlock of Brooklyn (+close ups of details).

Jack Gilinsky - It’s never too late

MASTERLIST

I guess you can say that I’m really good at shutting people out of my life. I’m all about the aggressive ignorance when it comes to something that is not good for me or my well-being. That bitch doesn’t like me? No problem, I’m even forgetting her ugly ass name! You unfollowed me on Twitter? I didn’t even know you had one! I had been doing this since middle school, because it seemed like the easiest way to deal with shit. But then, I had to realize in the hard way that it’s not the best in every occasion.

A messy breakup is more complicated than just fighting with one of my friends over something stupid, and I should have known that shutting Jack out in the minute we decided on finishing our relationship, but back than it seemed like the right decision. He and I had been dating for almost a year, I was by his side as their career took a huge turn and from uploading silly videos to websites to the point where they were planning their tour. I was madly in love with him, everyone knew it, and he felt the same way, but when we got into a huge fight over him, spending so much time with Madison, with who the media always brought him together despite the fact we were publicly admitting we were a couple, and we ended up breaking up, I didn’t care that I loved him, and just used my usual method. I shut him out.

I unfollowed him on every social media platform, deleted all of our conversations and told my friends to never bring his name up. I pretended like the boy I loved never even existed. I know, it’s a bit cold-hearted, because I even blocked his number so he couldn’t call me and I banned him out of the building I was living in, but I thought it would be the right thing for me to do. If he didn’t care about the whole Madison thing, then I chose not to care about his existence.

“Y/N, don’t you think it’s a bit hard?” my best friend asked as we were about to sort every picture of us out of my computer and phone. I wanted all of them gone.

“No. I don’t need him,” I simply said while it caused me physical pain to say those things out loud. I sighed trying to push my thoughts about missing Jack to the back of my mind as I deleted one more photo of us that was taken on his mom’s birthday.

Ignorance was harder when your ex was a star and his fans wanted to know everything about his life, including his relationship with me that was currently dying.

I wouldn’t say I was doing well, I cried at least once a day and if I didn’t delete his number I would have already called him, but at least I didn’t say his name out loud anymore. But I was deeply unhappy and I wanted my boyfriend back, but I thought it was already too late. I ignored him for too long to start over it again, so I just forced myself to accept it.

It was until about three weeks after our breakup when I was sitting in traffic and I was trying to find my chopstick somewhere in the car. I had so many things there, I could have just easily lived there, and needless to say it was always messy. But then I found something odd. It was a memory stick that definitely did not belong to me. I furrowed my eyebrows connecting it to my player and then the title “If you’re listening to it it’s never too late” appeared and the song started.

It was an ultimate mashup from all of our favorite songs with Jack. We loved to do these things, mixing some of the best songs, but it was bigger than that. 32 minutes of heaven and hell at the same time, because it recalled all of our best memories and then it made me realize what I lost because I thought it didn’t worth to give it another try and like an asshole, I just shut him out of my life completely.

I got out of traffic as the song came to its end and I was totally in tears. I was sobbing like a little girl and instead of going home I took a turn and headed to Jack’s place. He put the stick there for me to find it and the title said it all. I may have had another chance I just had to push my ignorance out of the way.

I was speeding down the streets of LA just to get to his place as fast as I could and when I got there I just jumped out of the car and run up to his apartment. I rang the bell and as I heard him shuffle around on the inside I rang it again to rush him.

“Alright, I’m coming!” he shouted and I knew he was rolling his eyes. Then the door opened and when he saw me, he was more than surprised. Probably I looked like a total mess, my makeup made me look like a panda, but I couldn’t care less. I held up the stick and he let me inside.

“Um, I found the mashup,” I said hesitantly, not really knowing what to say. I whipped a few tears away from my cheeks and stared at him.

“So you are talking to me now?” he asked raising his eyebrows. He had every right to be like that, I deserved it for what I did. I was pretty hard on this breakup while we could have just solve it with talking about it.

“Jack, I’m so sorry,” I burst out in tears again, my shoulders shaking uncontrollably. “I was so stupid for ignoring you just because we had a fight, I just.”

“Thought it would help? I’m glad you realized it didn’t,” he said finishing my sentence. He was so calm and his face was blank, I was afraid it was yet too late.

“I’m sorry. That’s what I do, and I was mad and… I don’t know.” My voice was not more than just a whisper and I kept my glaze fixed on the floor. He stepped closer and pulled me into his arms. I hugged his body immediately as tight as I could. I missed him so much and I was ashamed of myself, I needed his forgiveness.

“I know, but this is not something you can do in a relationship,” he said gently stroking my hair with his hand.

“I’m sorry,” I sniffed hiding my face in his neck.

“It’s okay baby. It’s okay.”

Hearing his word made me relieved more than ever, it really wasn’t too late. This taught me for sure that I can’t just ignore my problems, it might have worked in middle school, but I was twenty, I had a boyfriend and he did not deserve to be treated like this no matter what.

I’m not sure how long we had been standing there hugging, but he was the first one to speak up.

“Baby?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah?”

“Will you please unblock my number and do something about the banning? I feel like I’m a murderer or something.”

I laughed leaning back. Hearing what I did from him was funnier than I thought, it was like I was treating him like a criminal.

“Yes, I’ll take care of it,” I grinned up at him whipping my tears away. He nodded smiling before pressing his lips to mine finally.

caeillian  asked:

Hey! There's one thing I wanted to ask you about Misha's statement that Cas doesn't feel loved and that he's about to do a very bad decision, deal with the devil, etc. I can't quite grasp why Cas doesn't feel loved, at least by Sam and Dean - I mean with the Darkness on the run and his PTSD-like behavior, clearly everything isn't at it's best now. But just at the end of season 10 he said that both boys are like a family to him, and after he was cursed, they did everything to cure him (especially

Dean with his hands-on approach, if you know what I mean!). Okay, they had that argument at the end of 11x06, but all of that together, I don’t really see why Cas should feel so unloved in this situation right now. Or am I missing something important here? - Greetings!

Hello! And thank you for asking! I mean, thanks for asking me anything at all, because I don’t know how relevant my answer is going to be, but I’ll do my best. I like answering questions. I’m the nerd whose favorite part of school was taking tests. :D

As far as Castiel’s current mental status, and why he’s possibly feeling uncertain about his standing with the Winchesters, I think a lot of that comes back around to his PTSD. And I’m not even calling it PTSD-like. It’s PTSD.

Not that Sam and Dean don’t deal with it themselves on a constant basis, but learning to cope with this sort of trauma is relatively new for Cas. He may have suffered with it in the past, but he’d always been sent back for the sort of “reprogramming” we saw Naomi administering back in s8. His eons of awful memories were wiped away in the past. Naomi implied that he’d done many horrible things (like slaughtering the first born sons of Egypt), that he had no memory of due to his constant need for reprogramming.

Even when he was human in s9, and had suffered greatly, he was able to eventually pull himself out of his funk and get back up on his own feet (and then got some of his mojo back by stealing another angel’s grace). I think he was hoping that getting his own grace back would’ve helped that same way, but as all the angels have been telling him for more than a year now, when they look at him they don’t see an angel anymore. I think his own grace is fundamentally changed from what it was when we first met him back in s4. It’s not just the “human” part of Cas that’s grown, but the part of him that is his grace has also been changed by his experiences and emotions. And no one’s around to reprogram him anymore, which I’m glad about at any rate.

Now, he’s not only cut off from all his “family” in Heaven, he’s also feeling the crushing weight of what he’d done while under the attack dog spell, he’s been called useless by angels, told YET AGAIN that he’s not one of them, watched his only ally and friend left in Heaven die trying to help him the only way they could (rip Hannah we will miss you), and then killed three other angels to save himself. And nearly killed an innocent human woman, before then nearly killing Dean. Again.

On top of that, add the layer of guilt for lying to and essentially betraying Dean all last season while they were looking for a cure for the Mark. When he found out his actions helped release the Darkness, I can only imagine that took away 90% of the joy out of having learned that Dean was “cured.”

There were a nice couple of episodes in there where Dean and Sam actually seemed to be trying to help him recover. They tucked him into the bunker, helped him try to locate his car, involved him in hunts however indirectly (over the phone in 11.04), and introduced him to the joy of Netflix and cozy blankets.

The Winchesters have been dealing with mental and emotional trauma their whole lives. And yeah, they fit a lot of the classic signs of PTSD (nightmares, sleep disturbances, depression, self-destructive behavior, anger, emotional detachment, etc.), but that’s any given Tuesday for them. They may not be shining beacons of mental health, but they’re numb to it enough to keep on soldiering on. For Cas? This isn’t supposed to be happening to him. He’s supposed to be an angel of the Lord. He’s floundering.

While it’s great that Dean and Sam have been trying to encourage him to rest, recuperate, and heal back at the bunker, Cas has sort of taken that too far. It was cute when he was watching OITNB and The Wire, but now he’s watching infomercials and Jenny Jones reruns… and I’m scared for him. He looks like me at the depths of a bad depression. It’s not cute anymore.

And then he goes to try to help Sam and Dean when they call for him in 11.06, when just reaching for the doorknob out of the bunker gives him such a severe flashback that he’s paralyzed with fear and self-doubt. The only thing that gets him moving is a lead on Metatron’s whereabouts. Metatron being one of the only possible beings that can help him, both with the Darkness and the angels’ problems in Heaven.

What Metatron tells him, essentially, feeds right back in to all of his doubts. He’s not welcome in Heaven anymore. He’s only with the Winchesters as long as he’s useful to them. They’ll kick him to the curb again just as soon as he fails them, like he always fails. Sure he puts on a front for Metatron, claiming that his words don’t have any power over him, but in that weird way Metraton seems to have, we know his words hit right at the heart of Castiel’s doubts and fears. And then he leaves Metatron “in traction,” so he obviously beat him to within an inch of his life. Yikes.

So even if Sam, and especially Dean, are showing as much care for him as they know how to in the midst of an all-hands-on-deck crisis situation, there’s still a lot of unresolved tension going back to before Dean was cured of the Mark (oh my heart do I even need to mention what?), everything that Cas has been through this season, and the fact that he now seems to have been sidelined to sifting through ancient libraries looking for lore on the Darkness.

For reasons obvious to us, Dean’s not going to want to let Cas get within ten miles of Amara after watching her dissolve three angels without blinking. Dean’s also suffering his own dissociative issues about the effect Amara seems to have on him, as well as his apparent inability to hurt her (at least she doesn’t seem to be able to hurt him, either, which yay, I guess?).

Cas was not consulted about following up on Sam’s visions about having a chat with Lucifer. I think he’s going to be incredibly disappointed in both Sam and Dean about that. Not only wasn’t he consulted, but he was very conspicuously not even MENTIONED in the episode, despite the fact we know he’s one of the few beings on the planet who’s ever even SEEN the cage in person, and might’ve been able to find something out about Sam’s visions without putting Sam directly at risk. Who knows? But I feel his complete absence in the episode was deliberate. It’s going to be important when he meets up with Dean again.

While I was hoping all of this would come to a head and Dean and Cas would get a five minute break to hash out their crap, this is Supernatural, so I imagine they’ll only have enough time to do a basic, “You okay?” “Yeah, fine.” kind of exchange that they’ve been settling for in the last little while. I think Dean’s going to catch Cas up on the situation with Amara, and then the potential situation with Sam.

According to the plot synopsis that just came out for 11.10, Sam’s going to be busy trying to avoid paying a “steep price” for Lucifer’s aid, while Dean and Cas are trying to figure out if that laser beam from Heaven could’ve killed Amara. Being that this is a synopsis, I’m assuming that’ll cover about half of the first segment of the episode.

So, yes, Dean and Cas will be working together, which means that, yes, Cas knows Dean trusts and cares for him. BUT! With Sam trapped in the cage with Lucifer AGAIN, I think Dean’s gonna flip out. Again. and Cas is gonna do the sad nod lip pout and volunteer to throw himself on the pyre in order to save Sam. AGAIN. Even if that’s not what Dean would want (I’ll say it again: the doofuses REALLY need to talk to each other). Cas is at such a low point, and he KNOWS how much Sam means to Dean.

I don’t think he feels entirely unloved, but depression lies, and he is clearly and unequivocally depressed right now. He needs Dean to spell it out for him, that yes, he’d do practically anything to save Sam, but he’d also do practically anything to save Cas. And Dean’s proved it to US several times already this season (how much of his argument with Sam in 11.01 was about getting out of that hospital because they needed to save Cas? How many other times has Dean gone to extraordinary lengths to make sure Cas was safe?) He just needs to prove it to CAS.

Sadly, I think Cas’s actions over the next couple of episodes might very well give Dean that chance.

On the up side, that’s probably give us another opportunity for these idjits to actually talk to each other honestly, and hopefully just freaking kiss already dammit.

And yeah, he really does believe that Sam and Dean are like family to him, but he’s also given up armies for them, made deals with Crowley for them, taken on the souls of Purgatory for them, fallen from Heaven for them, etc. etc. etc. In the state of mind he’s in right now, It’s not a stretch to think he’d be willing to throw himself on yet another grenade for them, no matter how loved he feels. He might understand that they care for him, but I don’t think he realizes how much his loss would wreck the both of them. Especially Dean.

I hope he’s about to find out. And that everyone doesn’t suffer too much in the mean time. :/

So, thank you for asking me a question! As much as it hurts to think about Cas in this state, there is a tiny silver lining around this whole cloud of Darkness. I hope this actually addressed your question in some way. I think I may have rambled just a bit. Sorry it took so long to answer, and greetings to you, too! :)

What You’re Prepared To Do

AO3

I have to admit, I never expected this weird little idea would grow to 10 chapters. With plenty of ideas for more. So yeah… This got away from me.

This was a difficult chapter to write.


What You’re Prepared To Do

(for good grades)

(for family)

(for friends)

Thomas put on the coffee machine. His first exam was in two days and he was looking forward to a quiet evening. Some light reading perhaps. He deserved a moment to relax after all that studying.

The banging on his door was not very relaxing.

He sighed and went to open it. It was Brad, with bags under his eyes and looking more disheveled than usual.

“I’ve done something horrible,” he said. “I need your help. Please.”

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This is the state of our entertainment industry.

Justin Bieber’s music video for “What Do You Mean” has nearly 1.2 billion views. BILLION. WITH A ‘B’. It’s basically a soft core porn. Here are the lyrics for what must certainly be a musical masterpiece to warrant that kind of attention.

Lyrics:
What do you mean?
When you nod your head yes
But you wanna say no
What do you mean?
When you don’t want me to move
But you tell me to go
What do you mean?
Said we’re running out of time
Trying to catch the beat make up your mind
What do you mean?
Better make up your mind
What do you mean?
You’re so indecisive of what I’m saying
Don’t want us to end where do I start
First you wanna go left and you want to turn right
First you up and you’re down and then between

Ohh I really want to know…

When you nod your head yes
But you wanna say no
What do you mean?
What do you mean?
But you tell me to go
Said we’re running out of time
What do you mean?
Better make up your mind
What do you mean?
You’re overprotective when I’m leaving
Trying to compromise but I can’t win
You wanna make a point but you keep preaching
You had me from the start won’t let this end
First you wanna go left and you want to turn right
Wanna argue all day make love all night
First you up and you’re down and then between
Ohh I really want to know…
What do you mean?
When you nod your head yes
What do you mean?
When you don’t want me to move
But you tell me to go
What do you mean?
Said we’re running out of time
What do you mean?
Better make up your mind
What do you mean?


Take a minute to digest these cryptic words. I know this level of art can be tough to swallow sometimes.

This is the same pop star that has every news station scrambling because he deleted his Instagram account because his fans didn’t like his new girlfriend. Who is 17. 

Ill note that when I typed in “Justin Bieber” on youtube, I didn’t actually find any music until I got to the second page. It was all news stories and fan stories about his relationships and public drama.

I guess it’s been a while since i’ve taken a peak and the mega pop world. It’s scary that our culture buys into this kind of stuff. I fear this kind of celebrity will (if it hasn’t already) ruin future generations. He and others like him are setting a standard. And its not very high. A pop singer has deleted his instagram. Most definitely temporarily. This is headline news. During war time and election season. It is sad that this shit gets ratings. Are we that dumb, that we would rather watch some canadian jackass blow all his money and ruin his life than actual, real news that actually matters?

We can do better. We have to do better.

**EDIT**

I think its also worth noting that there are 3 people credited with writing this song, and 2 more people credited with producing it. So it took 5 people total to create this song. 

anonymous asked:

Equius is my sweaty baby (whos a little bigoted)

[This is continuation of this ask. Main question was: “What’s Equius’ role in this comic”]

First of all: yes, Equius is sweaty and yes, he is bigoted, but the most important side of his character lies in his skills.

He basically makes something from nothing and he does it flawlessly, even if it’s only so he can take it out of existence a moment later. 

It keeps being a thing of importance through the story. He fixes Vriska’s arm, he gives Tavros functioning legs, he makes a soulbot for Aradia - and, once he dies and gets prototyped into Arquiusprite, he still keeps using his abilities to help others.

Now, the utmost importance for him comes in this scene and after. 

Arquius, as someone extremely well skilled, is someone who could become a good tool in hands who need help with crafting. And Caliborn is exactly someone who needs this kind of help in craft of art.

He uses angles to draw a circle. Extremely innovative… and jarring, as this is the most diffucult way to draw a circle I’ve seen yet (and I’ve seen things).

And what is Caliborn trying to make? A story, that’s absolutely unbearable.

There’s no pacing to it, characters are flat and even curtains he uses to close each and every act of “Homosuck” look like cut out from cardboard without actual use of scissors.

Or cutting knife or anything, really.

Arquiusprite/Equius, with his skills is someone, who can help Caliborn (as Lord English) create what he is lacking. And by that, I mean story that has actual flow

and moves swiftly thanks to fast pacing and well balanced action buttons.

Yes, these.

This is something Caliborn doesn’t have (he titles every page with last sentence or beginning of the next one) and they’re vital to the story overall. You wouldn’t be able  to read Homestuck at all, if it wouldn’t be for these blue arrows.

In other words, there would be no Homestuck without Equius. Remember that next time you feel like calling him useless (and some people surely still feel this way).

this ones been a rollercoaster. first i spent a good hour trying to work out what pose I wanted, then i just couldn’t get her nose right and it pissed me off so much i had to count to ten. THEN my pen/stylus thingy BROKE!!??! and it took some seriously creative engineering to fix it (i’ve ordered a new one because its functioning but barely, at some point its going to fail on me and I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THAT I HAVE CHARACTERS TO DRAW) 

so anywho here is Manon. Ugh i need a nap now, this was stressful. WAS IT WORTH IT THOUGH, HELL YES MANON IS EPIC

bbc.com
Sea god statue stolen from mountain

Sculptor John Sutton said he was “very, very annoyed” at the theft.

He said it would have taken a number of men with angle grinders several hours to remove the figure from its base.

“I’m very disturbed by this,” he said. “It’s unreal.

"I’m still in shock. Some statues are stolen for their bronze. But this was cut down at the base and the materials would not have been worth stealing.

"I made it out of clay first and then a silicone mould, before I cast it. It took me months and months to make and five or six men to carry it up there and install it. It was very heavy and would have taken a long time to remove.”

This is absolutely infuriating.  May the wrath of <emphasis>all</emphasis> the gods be on those that stole this beautiful piece of art.  I know it wasn’t necessarily intended to be a religious site, but it has both become one in many ways (people have begun leaving offerings there) and it obviously harkens back to Irish history, if nothing else.  

Manannán Mac Lir has a special place in my life for a variety of reasons and, as such, I can’t help but feel personally hurt by this.  I pray that these perpetrators are brought to justice and that the piece may be returned to its rightful home.  

HT to sachairi-maccaba for the link to the story.  

  • Cleverbot: What are you afraid off?
  • Skylar: Sometimes dark.
  • Cleverbot: Do you ever get bored?
  • Skylar: Memed was worth it.
  • Cleverbot: Just a small town girl. Living in a lonely world she took the midnigjr train going asnywhere.
  • Skylar: Jump off little robot fuzzy bee mammals and insects talk about who feels like animals what is your favorite named skylar them things order to show mysteries it me out we need time did these are all bee will again series will jumps over several other lov.
  • Cleverbot: And it's not fair, using a language based on sensory experiences when you have no senses of your own.
  • Skylar: There i wings bees one way some words i fear emotions.
  • Cleverbot: Let's sing the alphabet.
What He Couldn’t Have

A Soccer!Niall AU (Smut)

“‘Never said such a thing in my life. But your mouth would look much better with your lips wrapped around my cock.’”

Rebloggable Masterlist || More Niall Writing

Requested: “I wish you would write a fic where Niall is the star soccer player and he’s gotten a blowjob from the entire cheerleading squad except for y/n… until now (featuring a long blow job scene and lots of cocky dirty talk from Niall). :)” (x) (x)

(2.7K words)

Rating: Mature

Summary: It was a classic case of unrequited desire; Niall was always one to want what he couldn’t have.


He had been coquettish since I had met him, not that I was complaining about it. He had been chivalrous about it, too–sent me flowers when I made the team, walked me home from a frat party one night, helped tutor me in Spanish for the College Level Examination Program, the lot. It didn’t hurt that he was fit, either. And he just had this air to him. There was some inexplicable aspect of him, just some quality that drew me to him.

But I had always kept myself distanced just enough, kept myself teetering on the edge of having feelings for him and being his acquaintance. The largest part of that was Liam–I had been with him since our junior year of high school, nearing four years now. That is, until he dumped me, and I fell for someone else.

And I wasn’t trying to be vindictive or vengeful; I didn’t want to make him jealous or get back at him for leaving me. I understood that Liam wanted to see other people, and I respected that. Hell, I began to feel it, too! The only problem was that this attraction was towards Niall.

It’s not like the problem had much of anything to do with Niall, so much as his reputation. It was almost as if, when he walked into a room, he ballooned, his presence swelling to fill every conversation of the previous room’s inhabitants. He knew this as well as I did, and he didn’t seem to care. He was illustrious for sleeping around, scoring with every girl he pleased to fuck. 

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