this took me over

anonymous asked:

You know that gifset You posted where Yoongi is talking about how He kept talking with Jimin all night long? Well, headcanon where the reason why He is so happy and all smiles is because They finally revealed to each other their feelings towards the other?

OMG YESYESYES, imagine yoongi laying on his bed, checking on his phone before going to sleep when he feels someone fall flat on his chest. he immediately recognizes jimin’s silver hair and his scent confirms his thoughts. he slowly strokes the younger’s hair as the boy laid on his chest slowly hums in pleasure. after some time, yoongi slowly strokes jimin’s shoulder, murmuring to him that they have to wake up early tomorrow and that he needs to go back to his bed but jimin takes him by surprise when he asks the elder if he remembers they first meet. of course, yoongi remembers, how could he forgot the day when his chest began, for the first time, to erupt into a multitude of fireworks and butterflies at the sight of such a wonderful smile like jimin’s. they keep talking like this all night, forgetting about the time going on and the hoseok’s soft snores coming from the other side of the room, until yoongi takes his phone to check the time and realizes that it’s almost 4 in the morning and that they’ve spent the whole night remembering about their beautiful moments. yoongi is about to remind jimin he has to go to sleep but he finds jimin staring at him, a small smile playing at his lips, and even if it’s dark, yoongi knows the look jimin is giving him. “i love you so much, yoongi. so damn much.” he whispers and that’s when yoongi gets that it’s now or never so he grabs jimin’s neck and slowly puts his lips on jimin’s ones. “i love you too.” yoongi whispers back after pulling back. usually, yoongi would’ve been furious for having only two hours of sleep, but for some reason, these two hours of cuddling tightly his jimin in his sleep felt better than 10 hours of sleep alone in his small bed.

I’m kinda pissed. The one specimen I had pinned up nicely and was a potential holotype is damaged now. I was gone over winter break, someone else handled my specimens and now my nice one is missing antennae & abdomen. I had already done a DNA extraction on it using just legs. Like this was a surprise specimen too that I found in a sample too???

(Please don’t reblog)

So I don’t know who to address this to so I am just going to write

I dropped out of class that was supposed to transform me, innovate me, make me less insecure. Instead, all of my fears took over in that space.

See, this class is feminism and performance. I like feminism; I like performance. However, the professor really wants us to self-evaluate all our identities

Ancestry, gender, class, citizenship, sexual and romantic orientation. Making us to create a solo performance based off of those things. And I just cannot pretend that I am a white straight cisgender person in front of everyone. I am a queer trans person of color and I didn’t want to face all of it.

I don’t want to explain my ancestry because I don’t know my ancestors. I don’t want to explain my gender because some people think I am faking it. I don’t want to explain my romantic or sexual orientations because well, I don’t want to. Maybe one day I will be more brave and less insecure and return to that place. Until then, I am just going to think about what an opportunity I missed.

Sincerely,

Your friendly neighborhood trans kid who just started university.

I was reading this and it struck a chord. 

My parents aren’t narcissists, and they love me unconditionally. 

But when I was a child, they were emotionally immature, unprepared for some of the responsibilities of being a parent. In some ways, as I got older, I could see it, and resented it.

you begin seeing them for who they really are

a terrified child, who happened to be a parent

Later on, my peers either made fun of me or shunned me. I made friends with other “weird kids” in middle school and high school. My middle school friends were my lifeline for years. But by high school, I felt so beaten down that it took me over a year to realize I had made any friends there.

I learned that to live you need a job, and to get and keep jobs you need connections, which means you need people to like you, which means you need to either be normal or be so IMPRESSIVE that people forgive you for not being normal. I put constant pressure on myself to be the best student, the best researcher, the best friend. I learned that most people don’t want a partner who is too needy or too difficult. One person confirmed that by breaking up with me because my physical and mental health problems were too much to bear. I came to believe that to survive, I needed others’ approval, and my adult life has revolved around seeking it.

And so, many of these experiences of children of narcissistic parents ring true, for very different reasons.

to believe the whole universe’s calamities are your making

to believe you have to constantly prove that you are worthy of love

to seek approval from anyone and everyone

to deny your mistakes, weaknesses and vulnerabilities 

feeling angry, unheard, unseen

And so I’m learning to ask for help, to be honest with myself and others, and to give love all the time, not just when I feel in need of it myself.

The piece doesn’t say

“to remain a child yourself”

But to make every choice based on how others will judge you and not what you need and value is childish. I don’t want to have the emotions of a child in the body of an adult. My parents needed to raise a child to grow up. I don’t want to have children and even if I did, I’d want to be grown up and prepared to raise them beforehand.

If only growing up emotionally were the sort of thing where you could set concrete goals, check them off a list, and measure your progress over time. 

It Breaks My Heart 💔

A few minutes ago I decided to watch some youtubers as I drink my coffee, until I came across a video from @therealjacksepticeye where he says about him getting home from a convention around here (the UK) and what he did for the 3 days. One thing he said about really fucking broke me and it was that on the last day he couldn’t meet his fans how he wanted to and I’m sat here crying to myself because in my mind I feel like I won’t ever get the chance to meet @therealjacksepticeye or even @markiplier and it really sucks! I’ve loved these two for what feels like forever and still to this day I question myself if meeting them would actually happen, where I can hug them, take a picture with them and give them a gift just so they know I will always love them! With living in the UK it’s harder to meet people that I look up to, it took me over 10 years to meet one person I’ve idolised since 2001 and only recently met my favourite band (Avenged Sevenfold) after 8 years of hoping! Most days I sit in my room watching videos of people meeting @markiplier and @therealjacksepticeye and it’s not that I’m jealous, it’s the fact I know that they are lucky and I feel that I won’t ever know what their hugs feel like :( as much as I know Mark and Jack won’t see this I know I needed to say it! If by luck Mark and Jack ever see this and see how heartbreaking it is for me to say this I just want them to know something and I will rest at nothing until they know!…..Jack/Sean and Mark, I’d give anything possible just to meet you guys, you inspire me in ways no one else has before! I’m working at becoming a YouTuber just like you both! I hope one day you go to a convention around the UK! With me living in Wales (a small place between Ireland and England) conventions can be a distance away but I’d travel if it meant I could meet you! I love you both so much ♡♡ @markiplier @therealjacksepticeye

anonymous asked:

Could you possibly help me pass this on to that other anon? I was kind of in that same situation. Im a major in the medical field and I failed a class that held me back an entire year. I'm currently retaking it. I use the failure of the past as motivation to kick ass this time around. Even in the medical field, a setback doesn't mean your entire career is over. It took me a while to let that sink in, but eventually it did. Even though I lost an entire year, I focus on the (1)

(2) end result that I want for myself: a degree and a career doing something I love. So please don’t give up. Keep your chin up. You got this. I’m sending ALL of the anon love and good vibes your way, from one struggling medical student to another.   You can do this.             

^^ MUTUAL ANON LOVE <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

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